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Sun August 31, 2008
Source     Fark Headline Comments
(Flickr)
 
 
 
Photoshop this Shell-stocked serviceman
source: farm4.static.flickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(45)
 
(Canada.com)
 
 
 
Actual Headline: "Difference between men and women? About 100,000 years of evolution"
source: canada.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(453)
 
(Crooks & Liars)
 
 
 
Never fear, New Orleans. Blackwater stands ready to defend your city from yourselves
source: crooksandliars.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(362)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
UK schools spend £3,000 on text-speak posters in schools. Like "f NEfin maks u feel (:+( or uncomfortable on9 tel a responsible XXX str8 awy. Don't B fraid Ull gt N2 strife"
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(121)
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
By some miracle your drunken butt manages to survive 27,500 volts from arcing overhead wires when you try to break into a parked train. Do you: c), sue Amtrak for not hiring a nanny patrol to save you from yourself? Tag is for Darwin missing
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(94)
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
Zimbabwe has the perfect idea to solve their health care crisis: urge people not to get sick in the first place
source: seattlepi.nwsource.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(99)
 
(Independent)
 
 
 
Those of you who remember leaded gasoline may not have those memories much longer
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(124)
 
(Cracked)
 
 
 
Eight animals with real superpowers. Conspicuously absent: That very special cat that knows when you're going to die (slightly not safe for work language)
source: cracked.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(106)
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
When stealing bags of rice make sure there isn't a hole in any of them. That might leave a trail or something
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(58)
 
(Tampa Bay Online)
 
 
 
Truck burglar caught in the act by its owners, hides in portable toilet with obvious results
source: www2.tbo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(62)
 
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
NASA studies space shuttles' ability to generate spectacular explosions beyond planned 2010 retirement date
source: orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(97)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
If you lost a 60-mile canal network in Lincolnshire 500 years ago, good news
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(56)
 
(ABC)
 
 
 
Sucky economy has an upside: Americans are producing less trash. Well, maybe not in Hollywood, which is still out of ideas, but everywhere else
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(67)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Norfolk police told to lose designer stubble, get off their mobiles. lose facial piercings and get their hands out of their pockets. No mention of actually catching criminals
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(35)
 
(AccessAtlanta)
 
 
 
Parents bring their kids to DragonCon: "I can imagine this has warped her for life"
source: accessatlanta.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(200)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Dalai Lama's reincarnation postponed
source: ap.google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(40)
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
If there were an Oscar for sermons, Seagears would be a contender. There's his "Dark Knight" performance, when he roared up to the pulpit astride a Suzuki motorcycle, dressed like Batman
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(31)
 
(Some Gustav Evacuee)
 
 
 
Alabama governor: No, evacuees can't come into Alabama. Not yours
source: sunherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(281)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this "lights on, nobody home" scene
source: my-expressions.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(56)
 
(London Times)
 
 
 
Willy Wonka creator did the nasty with every woman in the USA, as long as she was worth more than $50,000 a year
source: entertainment.timesonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(75)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Russia shows their support for an independent South Ossetia by absorbing it into their country
source: ap.google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(142)
 
(Sunday Mail)
 
 
 
Bulgaria: come for the gun battle in your hotel, stay for the porno being filmed in the foyer
source: sundaymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(50)
 
(Some Trapper)
 
 
 
Trooper shot in canoe-to-canoe struggle. With a muzzleloader. It's not FARK, it's 1798
source: wcax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(23)
 
(London Times)
 
 
 
Experiment shows that turning kids into Nazis is actually pretty easy
source: entertainment.timesonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(193)
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Guy has been building his retirement medieval castle home by himself on weekends, brick by brick, for past twenty years, and is still only half-done. "Things look so much nicer with a castle"
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(65)
 
(ABC)
 
 
 
Ric Romero reveals that airlines are now charging baggage fees
source: abclocal.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(56)
 
(9 News)
 
 
 
And the award for the stupid criminal of the day goes to
source: 9news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(24)
 
(chortle.co.uk)
 
 
 
Inventor of "Mornington Crescent" now permanently out of kilter
source: chortle.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(66)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Some New Orleans residents can't, won't leave. This is not a repeat... oh hell, yes it is
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(436)
 
(Weather Underground)
 
 
 
Storm Surge Prediction: Forget New Orleans, Baton Rouge is going to be underwater
source: icons-pe.wunderground.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(94)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
And now, a brief word from the folks who will voluntarily be staying in New Orleans as Gustav nears. You have to admire their courage, if not their intelligence
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(140)
 
(DFW Star-Telegram)
 
 
 
Woman doesn't receive electric bill for eight months, decides not to worry about it. Hilarity ensues
source: star-telegram.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(69)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Dust storm chases hundreds of filthy hippies away from Burning Man festival, marking first time hippies have fled from dirt
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(74)
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Children's author claims that putting kids into childcare is "abuse"
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(197)
 
(Atlanta Journal Constitution)
 
 
 
Skydivers jump into wrong stadium, find Duke sucks
source: ajc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(24)
 
(Modesto Bee)
 
 
 
I'll have a moon over my hammy, and a sharper knife, please
source: modbee.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(35)
 
(Cracked)
 
 
 
The disturbing origins of five common nursery rhymes
source: cracked.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(65)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Doctors manage to stop a seven-foot tall twelve-year old from growing even taller, effectively ruining his lucrative future NBA career
source: mailonsunday.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(58)
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
Fruit bats in Australia may be using biological warfare against humans
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(73)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Men sail from California to Honolulu on a raft made from plastice soda bottles and the remains of a Cessna. Certainly, that's an inventive way to show off your junk
source: hindu.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(40)
 
(Some skater d00d)
 
 
 
Photoshop this rollerskating guy
source: img83.imageshack.us   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(46)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Actual headline: "Same-sex school balls a tough topic"
source: tvnz.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(43)
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Career aimlessness, beer and porn culture define "Guyland." The author makes it sound like a bad thing
source: today.msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(295)
 
(Steve Shofield)
 
 
 
Most awesome photo gallery - detailing Brits' obsession with all-things American, including Star Trek fandom and Redneck lore
source: steveschofield.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(112)
 
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
If police catch you at a checkpoint and you blow three times the legal limit, but they let your friend take you home, don't get caught at another checkpoint the same night driving at four times over
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(33)
 


Sat August 30, 2008
(First Coast News)
 
 
 
Woman meets man who says he's a vampire, promptly invites him to stay on her property. Then invites him in. Somehow, this ends badly
source: firstcoastnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(95)
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
One in three people found to turn to booze to relieve stress, raising the question: what the hell do you other two do? And why are you here on Fark?
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(141)
 
(London Times)
 
 
 
Fat cops being banned from driving police cars in case they break them with their enormous cop asses
source: timesonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(62)
 
(DFW Star-Telegram)
 
 
 
Lesson One In Bank Robbery School - don't leave your car keys in the teller window. Lesson Two - don't write the bank robbery note on the back of one of your own checks
source: star-telegram.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(33)
 
(some floridian)
 
 
 
Husband encourages wife to enter hot body contest. Her prize - a punch in the face from her husband
source: ocala.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(89)
 
(STLToday)
 
 
 
Emergency room closed after several people show up with blue skin
source: stltoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(136)
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Congregation dismayed to discover that all of the money they raised for their pastor's brave battle against terminal cancer actually funded his porn addiction
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(89)
 
(ABC)
 
 
 
Gustav predicted to become a Category 5 hurricane. New Orleans authorities evacuate residents, pants
source: abclocal.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(601)
 
(Nola.com)
 
 
 
With 36 hours still to go before landfall, the local government in NOLA is already starting to screw stuff up
source: nola.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(179)
 
(Fordaq)
 
 
 
Scientists find a way to turn sawdust into biofuel. Announce that with a steady supply of porn suitable for Pinnochio, they could light up Manhattan for a week
source: timber.fordaq.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(36)
 
(The Star)
 
 
 
"At press time, the nut was still firmly attached to the base of the man's genitals"
source: thestar.com.my   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(84)
 
(Some Porsche)
 
 
 
You can put a Porsche in your driveway. Or in any another photo. Certainly Farkers would only use this site for its intended purpose, right? VE
source: porsche.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(156)
 
(London Times)
 
 
 
Old and busted: happy endings. New hotness: happy endings
source: women.timesonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(45)
 
(KITV/CNN)
 
 
 
Blowing a 0.18 during a DWI stop is bad enough, but it takes special breed of idiot to be able to do it before the end of his shift as a bus driver
source: kitv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(24)
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Doubleplusgood. Bush quietly seeks to keep war powers permanent by declaring an indefinite state of war
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(250)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this fortune teller
source: ecommons.library.cornell.edu   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(81)
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Cow gets head stuck in washing machine. The Sun is there to wring out the details. w/pic
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(35)
 
(TC Palm)
 
 
 
40-year old woman has sex with 16-year old boy, is sentenced to jail after court finds her not attractive enough for probation
source: tcpalm.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(163)
 
(Nola.com)
 
 
 
Monster Gustav is already a Category 4 Hurricane, with 145 mph winds. And it's not even in the gulf yet
source: nola.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(555)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
And the prank of the year goes to Officer Shenanigans, who stole five police radios and broadcasted hits like "I need donuts" and "CODE RED CODE RED"
source: pegasusnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(85)
 
(ABC)
 
 
 
Good: Magazine includes apple cake recipe. Bad: Magazine gets ingredient wrong. Fark: ingredient is poisonous and makes four people sick
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(105)
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Decathlon champ says Phelps is a poor little girly-man, alone in his girly-house
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(285)
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Girl playing hide and seek finds a baby "hiding" in the bushes
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(99)
 
(Oregon Live)
 
 
 
In another example of way over-thinking something, the Oregon Parks and Recreation Department will spend a year deciding if dogs and cats should be allowed in campground yurts and cabins
source: oregonlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(65)
 
(Tampa Bay Online)
 
 
 
What happens when two mega Christian rock festivals are booked on same day, just miles apart? Holy war
source: www2.tbo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(178)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Headstone makers consider adding, "They were filming the footage for YouTube" to their list of common tombstone phrases because of people like this
source: 4029tv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(83)
 
(AlterNet)
 
 
 
Onward Christian soldiers, marching as to war - in this case, Christian soldiers being about ten thousand plus members of "Joel's Army" with a divine mandate to physically impose Christian dominion on non-believers
source: alternet.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(545)
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Indianapolis Fark Party--Saturday August 30th. Book signing with Drew and Joe Peacock at 4pm, beer after. LGT signing info
source: downtowncomics.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(131)
 
(AFP)
 
 
 
After 30 years, Egyptian man finally allowed to convert to a religion other than Islam. Fark: Judge says the case is unusual because "monotheistic religions were sent by God in chronological order"
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(101)
 
(London Times)
 
 
 
News: Georgian military commander tells of his surprise at the Russian response to events in South Ossetia. Fark: His name is Major Dumbatze
source: timesonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(62)
 
(Salt Lake Tribune)
 
 
 
Man pays his attacker $30 to stop stabbing him
source: sltrib.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(46)
 
(ABC)
 
 
 
'Bling Bandit' busted when surveillance video shows his fancy ring closely resembles those given to retiring police detectives. Ooops
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(21)
 
(WYFF4.com)
 
 
 
Man robs store of a laptop using only a toothbrush
source: wyff4.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(27)
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
There are drunken blackouts, then there are Drunken Blackouts
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(27)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
"Get your bikini, hooka and your RV, honey. We be going to RONSTOCK 2008"
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(136)
 
(Examiner)
 
 
 
Today's Father of the Year candidate busted for getting his 15-year-old son the best present ever
source: examiner.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(93)
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Russian and US jets in near miss incident. Maverick smirks, Goose unavailable for comment
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(50)
 
(Something Strange)
 
 
 
Doctors claim metal wire grows inside woman. "At this stage, there were no current medical explanations or any case ever exist. Hence, there is but only one other possible consideration: occult magic"
source: mysterytopia.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(103)
 
(Some Aluminum Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this clattering, clanking collection of caliginous junk
source: img-fotki.yandex.ru   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(46)
 
(Canoe)
 
 
 
Sylvester the cat found malnourished after 1,700 km journey to Montreal for Caturday. Je me demande pourquoi il a pas essayer la poutine
source: cnews.canoe.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(359)
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Now that gay marriage is legal in California the inmates are going to get in on the action
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(159)
 
(AutoExpress (UK))
 
 
 
Dude's mom calls police when she finds parking meters scattered throughout her house. Her 34-year-old live at home son is now accused of ripping 87 of them out of the ground. Dude now grounded
source: wnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(64)
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
News: Man receives $12,000 fine for speeding on a motorcycle. Fark: article also mentions $8500 fine for a guy in a Chevy Cobalt
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(100)
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Divorce at 26-year-low. Unless you're over 60. Then you're kinda screwed in that department too
source: guardian.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(55)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop Challenge: Improve this classic rock-n-roll album cover
source: i54.photobucket.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(79)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Forget the stupid Olympics: the race is on in Scotland to be the fastest haggis eater in the world, and competitors are only allowed to wash it down with beer. The grand prize is a bottle of whisky. Game on
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(52)
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Casey Anthony re-arrested because she wasn't smart enough to escape when she was released from prison
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(67)
 
(Spiegel)
 
 
 
A German court has banned the driver of an electric wheelchair for being persistently drunk. Referring to his BAC the judge commented, "most people can't even reach such a level -- they fall over beforehand."
source: spiegel.de   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(41)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
If you're committed to going to the gym regularly, by the time you're in your middle ages you'll have the fittest body in the rehab ward
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(104)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
New Orleans officials have a message for residents choosing not to evacuate: "Son, you're on your own"
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(270)
 
(Spiegel)
 
 
 
Amateur computer sleuths have penetrated the activities of al-Qaida and other terror groups more deeply than most intelligence agencies. Cyberpenis
source: spiegel.de   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(49)
 
(ITN)
 
 
 
An eleven-month-old baby in Colombia may be the fattest baby in the world, weighing the same as an average eight-year old
source: itn.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(118)
 


Fri August 29, 2008
(National Post)
 
 
 
That candy bar you are eating is probably six months old
source: nationalpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(208)
 
(London Times)
 
 
 
"Women can't plan their child's birth like a dinner party"
source: timesonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(170)
 
(Gazette.com)
 
 
 
You're a cop; you pull over a woman who is crying, bleeding, half-naked and who claims she was just raped. You C: Give her a ticket, tell her to slow down, and let her finish driving to the hospital alone
source: gazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(298)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Karaoke - definitely a good reason to show up drunk in court
source: ocala.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(35)
 
(Some Steely Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this Bessemer converter
source: pixdaus.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(58)
 
(Globe and Mail)
 
 
 
10 photographs that changed Canada. Bonus: Includes football in the groin
source: theglobeandmail.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(159)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Organ donation: The gift that keeps on giving, and taking away, and giving, and taking away
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(48)
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Quebec cheese has evolved, and is now able to kill people without the assistance of fries and gravy
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(78)
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
French surgical team unveils new technique for fighting brain cancer, destroys tumor on conscious patient with high-precision laser through the skull. Suck it, Skywalker
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(80)
 
(Tampa Bay Online)
 
 
 
Meat store gives family the finger
source: www2.tbo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(48)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Turning Guyanese, I think I'm turning Guyanese, I really think so
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(25)
 
(WTMJ)
 
 
 
Man decides to surf on motor home, with predictable results
source: 620wtmj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(53)
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
Want to know what you're going to be seeing on CNN for the next week? Hours and hours of footage of Anderson Cooper getting blown
source: blogs.tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(101)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(236)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
I'll huff and you puff and we'll blow the car up
source: foxcarolina.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(27)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Reason #473,665 why GM sucks: they just recalled one million vehicles . . . because the WINDSHIELD WIPERS CATCH ON FIRE
source: wfaa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(154)
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Not news: Man cycles to work. Fark: 180 km every day
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(96)
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
That's right, it's time for the weekly roundup LGT the hottest arrestee you'll see for the next 26 minutes (#1)
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(288)
 
(TwinCities.com)
 
 
 
New Bishop of Green Bay breaks into song during installment ceremony. No, not "Ave Maria", but rather "Drop Kick Me, Jesus"
source: twincities.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(27)
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Blur for jeffness cow within bleach
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(97)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Chinese man swears to God that he doesn't owe money to a neighbour, gets hit by lightning a minute later. God doesn't like a Fuqing liar
source: shanghaidaily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(63)
 
(London Times)
 
 
 
Three droogs trying to make up their rassoodocks what to do with the evening settled for some of the ol' ultraviolence. Monks were kicked in the gulliver and guttiwuts, real horrorshow, then off for some Ludwig Van
source: timesonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(156)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Grandmother of missing toddler Caylee Anthony suggests DNA evidence of rotting body in trunk belonged to a different body. If you're trying to help your daughter, you're doing it wrong
source: cfnews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(249)
 
(Something Awful)
 
 
 
Presenting the John McCain Attack Ad Generator
source: somethingawful.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(140)
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
Happy 50th birthday: Top 5 media moments for Wacko Jacko
source: blogs.tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(97)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Author says that just because her "memoir" of surviving the Holocaust by living with wolves was total bullshiat, that doesn't mean her publisher shouldn't pay her more than $30 million
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(112)
 
(Vroom! Vroom!)
 
 
 
Photoshop this motorcycle man
source: pixdaus.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(72)
 
(CBS13.com - CBS Sacramento)
 
 
 
Man claims to know Zodiac Killer's identity and has zodiac mask, bloody knife and creepy photos to prove it (Video showing off evidence included)
source: cbs13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(169)
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
Unsettling footage has scientists concerned about the kind of sunshine that covers Europe, fearing that this may have deep implications. Will things ever be the same again?
source: uk.youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(796)
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Higher-income Canadians: "Our kids like Kraft Dinner, so let's donate it to food banks, eh?" Lower-income Canadians: "Thanks, but Kraft Dinner sucks, eh?" Americans: "What the Fark is Kraft Dinner?"
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(403)
 
(International Education)
 
 
 
Three people summoned by police after taking a naked plunge in front of a restaurant full of people. Fark: The people in the restaurant gave each dipper around $150 to cover their fines, genitalia
source: bangornews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(36)
 
(National Post)
 
 
 
Six reasons Prime Minister Harper should call an election
source: nationalpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(246)
 
(Provincetown Banner)
 
 
 
Author of book critical of police faces 10 years in prison after those same police discover that his good-for-lifetime gun permit has expired
source: wickedlocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(158)
 
(www.vpilf.com)
 
 
 
Not News: VPILF.com News: NOT a porn site Fark: Mainstreaming the meme
source: vpilf.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(481)
 
(11 Alive)
 
 
 
Atlanta zoo reports giant panda is pregnant. Birth, comical sneeze expected soon
source: 11alive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(25)
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Best tagline of the newsflash storm: To hammer home the message that 47 year old, first-term senator Obama is too inexperienced to be president, John McCain picks 44 year old first-term governor Sarah Palin as his running mate
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(1770)
 
(National Post)
 
 
 
Canada's only cowboy hat wearing Member of Parliament won't be running for reelection
source: network.nationalpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(34)
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Rapper DMX pleads guilty to drug charges in Florida, gets time served and will be extradited to Arizona for drug charges there as part of his "50 States, 50 Drug Charges" tour
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(38)
 
(WXYZ Detroit)
 
 
 
Come for the corndogs, stay for the live neutering
source: wxyz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(23)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
More proof beer is good for you: meet the man who missed the Pan Am Flight 103 disaster by minutes because he was drunk
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(40)
 
(National Review)
 
NewsFlash
 
Attention disgruntled Hillary voters: John McCain just made things interesting by picking Alaska Governor Sarah Palin as his running mate
source: corner.nationalreview.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(3114)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Man who robbed rail passengers and hid money between buttocks is banned from whole of London
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(31)
 
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
If you can't be a Viking, this is a good way to be sent off
source: orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(26)
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
British culinary delicacies are now available in assorted ice-cream flavors. The haggis is there
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(65)
 
(Miami Herald)
 
 
 
Dave Barry recounts Obama's 67 yard field goal last night, and other things you need to know about the convention
source: miamiherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(171)
 
(The Mind Unleashed)
 
 
 
Why do Starbucks' "fun ways to offer value" always include some K-Y Jelly and a tire wrench?
source: clusterstock.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(60)
 
(First Coast News)
 
 
 
You are 55 years old, still living at home and your mother does not have dinner ready on time you A) Threaten to beat and kill your mother. B) Threaten to kill the President. C) Both A and B
source: firstcoastnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(85)
 
(CBS2Chicago.com)
 
 
 
Driver makes a move on the road that's so absolutely idiotic that the traffic helicopter guy mocks him for almost two minutes
source: cbs2chicago.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(179)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
McBain, who was rather dense / caught his balls in a barbed-wire fence / spent the night upside down / like a fecking drunk clown / with his sporran dangling in offense
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(39)
 
(Atlanta Journal Constitution)
 
 
 
Man faces 12-year prison sentence and $24,000 in fines because his 25 beagles and basset hounds won't stop yapping
source: ajc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(101)
 
(Philly.com)
 
 
 
Guardsman convicted of beating Phillies fan into coma gets unique punishment; "Take him to Iraq"
source: philly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(90)
 
(wistv.com)
 
 
 
Angry telemarketer calls man back and berates him for hanging up on her (w/video containing audio transcript of call)
source: wistv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(278)
 
(Daily Kos)
 
 
 
McCain campaign misuse's apostrophe on product for student's. My friend's, when I was a POW we didn't have punctuation mark's
source: dailykos.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(154)
 
(Seacoastonline.com)
 
 
 
Police in Maine on the lookout for a man that left his burning pants lying, lying on the side of the road. Honest
source: seacoastonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(29)
 
(Leamington Spa Courier)
 
 
 
Daffy dog winged to vet after going quackers, swallowing rubber duck. Ernie unimpressed, faces lonely bathtime (with X-ray goodness)
source: leamingtoncourier.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(23)
 
(The Consumerist)
 
 
 
Ever wondered what happens to your cancelled checks? Texas bank sells them to cannery as packing material
source: consumerist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(57)
 
(nbc17.com)
 
 
 
♫♫ Praise God From Whom Unleaded Flows..♫♫
source: nbc17.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(76)
 
(Seattle Times)
 
 
 
#1 on the side and don't touch the back, #6 on the top and don't cut it wack, Jack
source: seattletimes.nwsource.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(44)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop theme: What's under your couch or in the cushions? LGT couch pictures
source: bludomain.typepad.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(58)
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
GOP considers delaying convention until after hurricanes Gustav and Barack pass
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(196)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Vice President Dick Cheney plans to travel to the Republic of Georgia next week and shoot Putin in the face
source: eastvalleytribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(84)
 
(WSAZ West Virginia)
 
 
 
Not News: Explosion rocks Institute, WV. News: It wasn't a meth lab. Scary: It's the Bayer Chemical plant
source: wsaz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(135)
 
(Des Moines Register)
 
 
 
1. Become a college president. 2. Get photographed drinking with your students. 3. Profit
source: desmoinesregister.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(61)
 
(ABC)
 
 
 
Public schools to add new 90-minute test to assess students math skills, in kindergarten
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(66)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
David Duchovny enters rehab for sex addiction. Enters, heheheh
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(304)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Woman mixes pool chemicals in her kitchen with predictable results
source: journaltimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(75)
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Thank you for choosing Comcast high speed internet. Now don't use it that much or we'll cancel your service
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(370)
 


Thu August 28, 2008
(Newsjournalonline)
 
 
 
Two geezer former mayors get in fight after primary, activate their LifeAlerts, end up in hospital with chest pains
source: news-journalonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(21)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Old and busted: Crazy Cat Lady. New hotness: Crazy Cobra Dude
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(33)
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Baby in 30ft fall horror saved by his dirty diaper
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(57)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Woman sues PA town after being denied permit to open a pole-dancing studio
source: ydr.inyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(73)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this blind pianist
source: shorpy.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(95)
 
(Philly.com)
 
 
 
Fat cat Prince Chunk not so chunky after all. Only 22 pounds. Another tubby tabby, Shamu, much more of a whale
source: philly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(75)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Emotional pain "hurts more than physical pain", claim scientists who have never taken a hard one to the nads
source: newsnow.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(270)
 
(Komo)
 
 
 
Fake $3 bill with Obama in an Arabic headdress? Check. Openly racist text on said "currency"? Yup. Party chair having no idea how the bills got in the GOP booth ? You betcha
source: komonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(626)
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Woman spots cancer in a baby through an online photo, informs the mother
source: today.msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(118)
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Women's rights in Iraq - "Hey we can blow people up just as good as men can"
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(62)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Experts warn that rising sea levels could create millions of "environmental refugees" - in New Orleans' case, possibly as early as Monday
source: current.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(155)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Study indicates car accidents are the leading cause of dropped cell calls
source: derfmagazine.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(45)
 
(SacBee)
 
 
 
The most important rule when throwing a firebomb from a moving car? Make sure it explodes OUTSIDE of the car
source: sacbee.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(82)
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
Shawn Johnson: "It makes my taco pop"
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(308)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
The McCain campaign - "Um, that guy who said everyone's got health insurance because they can go to the ER? Yeah, he's totally not an official campaign adviser"
source: politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(249)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Yahoo: McCain has chosen running mate, but isn't saying who. AP: McCain has not yet chosen running mate. Slap fight to ensue
source: ap.google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(158)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
The good news is that wind energy is getting easier to produce. The bad news is that there's nowhere to put it
source: wind-watch.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(93)
 
(Pajamas Media)
 
 
 
It ain't a Democratic Convention 'til the hippies in giant papier mache puppets show up
source: pajamasmedia.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(142)
 
(Burlington Free Press)
 
 
 
If you go out to the woods to do some plinkin', try not to fire INTO a National Guard Firing range. Oh, and don't be drinkin' when you do it
source: burlingtonfreepress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(41)
 
(Excite)
 
 
 
DNC has first major PR nightmare as J.Lo and Ben Affleck show up, leading to impromptu Gigli reunion
source: apnews.excite.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(72)
 
(Boston Channel)
 
 
 
Did Wellesley College throw a multimillion dollar painting in the garbage?
source: wcvb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(80)
 
(Stormpulse)
 
 
 
Undeterred by Gustav, tropical storm Hanna looks to open up a second front of doom on the East Coast
source: stormpulse.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(66)
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
FBI test results are back. Caylee was in the trunk of her Mom's car and is now presumed dead
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(474)
 
(Roll Call)
 
NewsFlash
 
Romney's sister gets a visit from the Secret Service, his seven wives are next
source: rollcall.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(264)
 
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Russia: Join us in our support of separatist movements in the Caucasus. China: Er, yeah, about that
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(53)
 
(AJC)
 
 
 
Clayton county in Georgia becomes the first US school district to lose accreditation in 40 years. Their is nothing funny about this headline
source: onlineathens.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(170)
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Fewer Japanese women having babies because they don't want to get married to childish Japanese men. Also, babies are expensive, and why bring a child into a world with a looming threat of Godzilla?
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(252)
 
(Think Progress)
 
 
 
Proof God hates the GOP: A massive hurricane is going to land on the anniversary of Katrina as Bush takes the RNC stage
source: thinkprogress.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(499)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Family that keeps dog that killed their cat gets free kittens in compensation. What, are they snacks?
source: tri-cityherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(111)
 
(Mercury News)
 
 
 
If you're going to rob a drug dealer, don't bring a plastic AK-47 to do the job
source: mercurynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(102)
 
(the alligator)
 
 
 
Woman charged with throwing deadly missiles at a car. By missiles, we mean ballistic spaghetti, a surface to air duffle bag, and anti-vehicle dinner plates
source: alligator.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(61)
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
The Guardian posts the results from their DNC speech drinking game. The people who picked to drink when they heard the word God wound up being the designated drivers
source: guardian.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(162)
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Ramming the gates twice in two weeks with a car won't get you into the Playboy Mansion
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(52)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
So Pooty was all "Biatch, you made Georgia do it," and the US went, "Uh-UHH, you crazy?" and Pooty went "I seen you was there," and the US was all "Damn, you ARE crazy, I can't talk to your dumb ass."
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(257)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Arguments flare over what to do about cracks in the Tomb of the Unknowns at Arlington National Cemetery, despite the daily-increasing risk of an Unknown Zombie escape
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(75)
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
If the DC city bus driver manual doesn't cover "no double-parking" and "no shooting guy in the head for complaining about double-parking," maybe it should
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(54)
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
This just in: Steve Jobs has been eaten by wolves
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(219)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Albequerque police investigating suspect accused of sodomizing dogs at animal shelter. Milk bone underwear was the first clue
source: kob.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(141)
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Thai courts try to bring peaceful end to armed takeover of Prime Minister's compound, but protesters Phuket up
source: guardian.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(47)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Man celebrates birthday in best way possible: drunk, swimming naked in river, screaming at himself, spitting on police boat, and then claiming he's Jesus Christ. Judge: "Get a cape next time"
source: sunnewspapers.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(34)
 
(11 Alive)
 
 
 
13-year-old boy accused of killing neighbor with ballpoint pen. Suspect has write to remain silent
source: 11alive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(108)
 
(Boston Herald)
 
 
 
Rap group that wrote 'Kill Bill O'Reilly' song don't know what alarms them most - the death threats from his fans, or the fact none of them can write: "They all get about a D-minus in grammar and spelling"
source: news.bostonherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(409)
 
(Denver Post)
 
 
 
Business at Denver strip clubs lackluster during the DNC. Why don't the Democrats support single moms?
source: denverpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(117)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Hard-hitting CNN report on bad reasons to have sex includes "Losing Weight"
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(307)
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
HIV is spreading through New York at three times the national rate, which makes for a nice addition to all the herpes
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(137)
 
(Naples News)
 
 
 
Dumbass teen thief claims ignorance of stolen debit card in his pants pocket because the pants weren't his--he just found them in his van. Dumber yet: His spending spree with the card was at McDonalds and 7-11
source: naplesnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(49)
 
(NewsTalk ZB)
 
 
 
Weather on rollerskates? Not always a great plan. A local tv weatherman tries his hand at roller derby and it goes about as well as you might think. Let the jokes begin
source: myfoxkc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(86)
 
(CJR)
 
 
 
Columbia Journalism Review numerically breaks down what the media are doing at the DNC: "4,021 are smugly bad-mouthing the convention and its participants. 1,026 are drunk. This is as it should be. "
source: cjr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(67)
 
(Tampa Bay Online)
 
 
 
Your girlfriend repeatedly turns down your request for sex. Do you A) punch her B) arm yourself with a machete C) go to a different home and steal speaker equipment D) all of the above
source: www2.tbo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(126)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this Wonder Woman into someplace interesting
source: i273.photobucket.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(85)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Purdue university professor decides to tell everyone he created cold fusion, effectively solving the world's energy problems. World: "show us" Prof: "uh...."
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(107)
 
(Outdoor Life)
 
 
 
Hottest selling disaster supply item in hurricane-threatened New Orleans? Rifles
source: outdoorlife.blogs.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(347)
 
(Breitbart.com)
 
 
 
Looks like Ray Nagin and his legion of incompetents have learned their lesson and are ready for a hurricane this time
source: breitbart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(227)
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Europe blighted by -- wait for it -- Nazi Raccoons. With an image that could godwin a thread from space
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(191)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Elderly Swedish lady takes "self check-in" a tad too literally. Hilarity ensues
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(47)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
The coolest map of the impending doom of New Orleans you'll see today
source: stormpulse.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(291)
 
(WSRZ)
 
 
 
Proving that violence is an inherited trait, O.J. Simpson is attacked by his own daughter
source: wsrz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(110)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Chinese police correctly recognize bagpipes as a threat to their country
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(49)
 
(Herald Tribune (SW Florida))
 
 
 
Note to petty robbers: Next time you rob your local gas station, make sure you are not recognized as a regular, don't fill out a Western Union order before the robbery and above all, make sure they do not have your photo ID on file
source: heraldtribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(23)
 
(Lancashire Evening Post)
 
 
 
Meet the woman who admits she is in love with giant rabbits
source: lep.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(80)
 
(Sun Journal (Maine))
 
 
 
64-year-old woman checks out "It's Perfectly Normal: Changing Bodies, Growing Up, Sex and Sexual Health" from the library and refuses to return it because she says it's "dangerous" to children
source: sunjournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(298)
 
(CNN)
 
Video
 
Today's "Jesus on a ________" is a moth. This... is CNN
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(117)
 
(Lincoln Journal)
 
 
 
West Virginia county holds a disaster drill featuring a disease you can catch from eating roadkill. Bon appetit, Cletus
source: lincolnjournalinc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(48)
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Fat cat Shamu' takes on 44 pound 'Prince Chunk' for fattest cat in same south Jersey animal shelter
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(48)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
List of TV show marathons airing over this Labor Day weekend
source: charlierb3.blogspot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(240)
 
(USGS)
 
NewsFlash
 
6.1 Earthquake on Vancouver Island, eh
source: earthquake.usgs.gov   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(180)
 
(News24)
 
 
 
Man's marriage proposal triggers UFO alert
source: news24.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(73)
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
U.S. economy ....g.....g.....(what's that word?) ....GREW an unexpected 3.3% in the second quarter
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(537)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Western nations warn Russia: "hai, you better change course in this Georgia conflict or......or we'll.....uh, warn you to change course again." Putin: "Yeah, we'll get right on that, LOL"
source: ap.google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(149)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
London motorway closed after milk tanker overturns. Trained counselors dispatched to prevent drivers from needlessly shedding tears
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(43)
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Far be it from me to suggest that student's literacy standards are slipping, but what the hell are "escape goats"?
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(156)
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
The DA lost her home to forclosure. The mayor, whom she is prosecuting, can't pay his legal bills. Detroit- where the most fiscally responsible are drug dealers
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(136)
 
(Ohio.com)
 
 
 
...but I did stab in a Holiday Inn Express last night
source: ohio.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(21)
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
"In the history of children's programming, has anybody gotten screwed over more than Grover?"
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(211)
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Eight to top 10 "happiest places to live in Britain" are in Scotland. Behold the power of whisky where it's considered a breakfast food
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(98)
 
(The Citizen)
 
 
 
Swedish sea monster 'caught on film' (with definitive photographic proof)
source: thelocal.se   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(132)
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Concerned about Satanic messages when playing Guitar Hero backwards, Christians release Jesus-themed guitar game. Stryper mysteriously absent from playlist
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(277)
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Eight teams fueled only by cooking oil are competing in the 2,500-mile "Grease to Greece" road rally from London to Athens
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(32)
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
The Mumbai City Council resorts to using 42,000 liters of deodorant to overcome the stench from two massive garbage dumps. Anything less would be uncivilized
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(34)
 
(Some Lutrinae Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this otter
source: pixdaus.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(56)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
A++ great seller. fast ship, great database of secure bank info, would buy again
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(44)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
McCain picks VP. Launches plan to announce via an emerging new technology called "the telegraph"
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(353)
 
(Breitbart.com)
 
 
 
Woman gives birth on flight from Hong Kong to Australia. Passengers assessed $5 obstetrics surcharge
source: breitbart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(32)
 
(Quad City Times)
 
 
 
Note to self: if you ever decide to take hostages, for God's sake, don't send them on a beer run for you. They ain't coming back
source: qctimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(37)
 
(Tacoma News Tribune)
 
 
 
Man attempts to siphon gas using electric vacuum
source: thenewstribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(61)
 
(Sydney Morning Herald)
 
 
 
Turns out parents really do have favourite children. If you're reading this from their basement, it's safe to say you're not it
source: smh.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(211)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
If you're a guy who enjoys sitting through long traffic jams because of your heated car seat, you never have to buy another condom ever again
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(69)
 
(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 173: "Panoramics" Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
source: farktography.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(248)
 


Wed August 27, 2008
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Portland "green" gym to generate its own energy from rooftop solar panels, patrons' exercise bikes and treadmills, and their inexhaustible supply of smug
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(109)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Alcohol found to be linked to assaults. I swear to God, if *hic* this doesn't get greenlit, I'm gonna punch someone in the face
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(47)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
The crane's to blame, it's mainly in the train
source: edmontonsun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(23)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Today on ask Billy Graham: My wife is disabled because of a stroke, some of my friends are telling me I'm crazy not to find a mistress. How can I explain to them that God wants me to be faithful?
source: glasgowdailytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(419)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this sky rider
source: boonedocks.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(43)
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Jar of mushrooms leaking onto passenger with mushroom allergy forces Boeing 737 to make emergency landing
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(85)
 
(National Hurricane Center)
 
 
 
It's still too early to buy tickets to Katrina II: Electric Boogaloo, but it appears to be deep into post-production
source: nhc.noaa.gov   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(264)
 
(AZCentral)
 
 
 
Angry that his in-laws won't leave his home, man does the logical thing and calls the cops then storms upstairs and tears up his wife's new $28 bra
source: azcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(102)
 
(WPXI.com)
 
 
 
Carnegie Mellon professor charged with third DUI in eight days, obviously not a math expert
source: wpxi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(56)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Dunkan must die. I do not think that they mean that he will be dipped in coffee thou. Hero props to the jury
source: spokesmanreview.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(185)
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Polise in Arkansaw cant spel wurth shiat
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(84)
 
(Google)
 
 
 
Google maps captures a unique proposal
source: google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(107)
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
'Inconsolable' baby elephant back with mother. AWWWW pics and video included
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(52)
 
(KETV)
 
 
 
Bellevue police said an explosion Wednesday morning in a house on 24th Avenue is suspicious. (Actual headline)
source: ketv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(61)
 
(Tampa Bay Online)
 
 
 
Case gets murkier as Deputy fired after lying about relationship with mother who "forgot" to file police report on "missing" child
source: www2.tbo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(53)
 
(MSNBC)
 
NewsFlash
 
For the first time outside of reel life, a major political party has nominated an African-American for President of the United States of America
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(1092)
 
(The New Republic)
 
 
 
All those "Messiah complex" complaints from the right? Turns out they're just concerned because this is the first time the Democratic Party has a candidate people are enthusiastic about
source: tnr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(292)
 
(WESH Orlando)
 
 
 
Body Farm: Decomposing body was in Casey Anthony's car
source: wesh.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(118)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Not news: Man upset with his bank. News: Changes his telephone password to "Lloyds is pants". Fark: Bank changes it to "no it's not". Ultrafark: He tried "Barclays is better" but the bank said no
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(120)
 
(Space.com)
 
 
 
Cool: Mythbusters take on Apollo Moon landing tonight. Double cool bonus: A TF'er got to help
source: space.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(336)
 
(Celebridiot)
 
 
 
Mackenzie Phillips busted for drug possession at LAX. When will washed up celebrities learn that you can buy drugs when you land
source: celebridiot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(90)
 
(Breitbart.com)
 
 
 
Baghdad to build giant ferris wheel. Potential names include "The Target"; "Please Bomb Me"; and "Missile Magnet"
source: breitbart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(49)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
What can Hillary's body language tell us about how she -really- feels about Obama? It's not news it's CNN. Bonus: The comments are made of win
source: politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(115)
 
(Christian Science Monitor)
 
 
 
The DNC protest zones in Denver draw exactly the same number of protesters as the ones the Chinese set up for the Olympics, showing how awesome free speech really is
source: features.csmonitor.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(90)
 
(Denver Post)
 
 
 
ABC producer arrested for following the money falling out of the pockets of VIP donors at private fundraisers around Denver
source: denverpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(131)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Scientists transform one type of cell into another. Five-assed monkey will be achieved in our lifetimes
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(69)
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Will Bubba steal the show? Will Biden rip off another speech? It's day 3 of the Democratic National Convention Discussion Thread
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(1033)
 
(Breitbart.com)
 
 
 
FBI implements chinese democracy on blogger for prematurely unleashing the atrocities of GnR
source: breitbart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(151)
 
(Starpulse)
 
 
 
Carmen Electra wrestles Kim Kardashian in new spoof, 'Disaster Movie'; says, "We get into some down and dirty positons... Kim is so cool, not to mention being hot." Translated: "Go see my new movie."
source: starpulse.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(259)
 
(Seacoastonline.com)
 
 
 
If your mom posts your $100K cash bail, then you get arrested again, you'd better get her a damn nice Mother's Day card
source: seacoastonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(71)
 
(Minneapolis Star Tribune)
 
 
 
Fark's favorite motivational speaker charged with shooting at people after a night of drinking. Patrick Swayze unimpressed
source: startribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(84)
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
Turns out Daddy Yankee tried to endorse Obama first, but was told his music sucks and to fark off
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(140)
 
(Chron)
 
 
 
Having problems getting around that pesky 4th amendment? Reclassify your police officers as "code enforcement" officers who can condemn houses and need no search warrant to enter
source: chron.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(244)
 
(Spiegel)
 
 
 
Photoshop these Jordanian policewomen training
source: spiegel.de   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(57)
 
(Occupy.com)
 
 
 
Hip hop mogul Marion 'Suge" Knight arrested in Las Vegas
source: lasvegasnow.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(150)
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Famous suicide cliff to add "take a number" tickets after rescuers nearly killed by next suicide victim while trying to retrieve body of the last one
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(186)
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Lawyer says 1000lb woman was too fat to beat nephew to death, ignoring the fact that all she had to do was shake her shoulders and a couple of lethal, 150lb hooters would start flying around the room
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(235)
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Look into the face of the 13-year-old girl who made your iPhone
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(274)
 
(Will Willkinson)
 
 
 
"The far-left has failed so comprehensively to make the case for its vision that the only thing left to do is to brazenly assert the world will literally collapse unless we implement this otherwise indefensible vision"
source: willwilkinson.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(541)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
DMX drops the F-bomb in court (LGT Video)
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(113)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Illinois woman learns she owns Barack Obama's Jeep after she discovers it drives on water
source: suburbanchicagonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(69)
 
(The Daily Press)
 
 
 
If you "borrowed" a Civil War cannon from Fort Huger, the Isle of Wight county police department would like a word with you
source: dailypress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(38)
 
(Philly.com)
 
 
 
Philadelphians are the best tippers in the country, tipping almost 20 percent at restaurants. Note: Does not include cheesesteak stands
source: philly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(246)
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Switzerland exonerates the last European to be executed for witchcraft. Stateside, Ann Coulter breathes a sigh of relief
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(62)
 
(Canoe)
 
 
 
Nine-year old robs restaurant at toygun point, is arrested because it's unclear if he was playing or not
source: ottawasun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(50)
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
"Reporter" searches for Hillary at Hooter's. Subby thinks they are better off searching at Lou's Crab Shack
source: blog.newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(50)
 
(Boston Herald)
 
 
 
Democrats bicker over how hard to hit McCain, fail to consult the Vietcong
source: news.bostonherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(183)
 
(some Yat)
 
 
 
Evacuation of New Orleans could begin this Friday due to Gustav. EVERYBODY CONTRAFLOW
source: wwl.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(355)
 
(HeraldOnline)
 
 
 
Seriously, who hasn't had their junk accidentally flop out of loose fitting shorts...while giving driving lessons to teenage girls...at least five different times
source: heraldonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(349)
 
(The Consumerist)
 
 
 
Applebee's food order comes with delicious "out of date" sticker on it. Manager apologizes, offers to refresh drinks
source: consumerist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(311)
 
(Tax Foundation)
 
 
 
California may have a ballot initiative increasing the state income tax on the rich from 9 percent to 44 percent and taking 55 percent of assets over $20 million if the uber-rich move out of state to avoid the tax
source: taxfoundation.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(474)
 
(Chicago Breaking News)
 
 
 
Metra trains to eliminate bar cars. Something about wanting "more room for passengers" or some nonsense
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(144)
 
(The New York Times)
 
Video
 
A funny short video of Chinese people being exposed to fortune cookies (an American invention) for the first time. "Americans are so strange, why are they putting pieces of paper in their cookies?"
source: dinersjournal.blogs.nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(152)
 
(Intelligencer)
 
 
 
Since he can't have a home office, man now wants to turn his house into a Scientologist church. Suck it, zoning board
source: phillyburbs.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(120)
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
The only rancorous debate that MSNBC is covering at the Democratic convention is between their egomaniacal anchormen
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(339)
 
(Hiking Penis)
 
 
 
Germany's "Naked Hiker" allowed to serve his sentence nude because prison clothes depress him, inconvinience his cellmate
source: kjrh.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(181)
 
(My Fox NY)
 
 
 
If you're going to rob your own truck, take the time to come up with a description of the fake robber
source: myfoxny.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(60)
 
(Local6)
 
 
 
Snake floats into home, nearly bites woman during TV interview (with video)
source: local6.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(79)
 
(Google)
 
 
 
Frommers travel guides coming to your iPod. So now you can walk around unfamiliar areas in foriegn countries gawking at your expensive electronics. Good plan, guys
source: canadianpress.google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(38)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
The four John Carlins in one small Irish village tired of getting each other's mail suggest a radical new idea: put numbers on houses
source: independent.ie   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(53)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Hijackers of Darfur airliner surrender in Libya after running out of small bills for drinks, pillows
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(27)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
New Orleans has broken ground on a memorial to Katrina victims. Memorial will be in the form of a statue of George W. Bush giving New Orleans the finger
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(486)
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Criminals try to rob money-changer at airport, end up stealing bag of snack cakes instead
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(64)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop Star Wars characters into other movies. LGT example
source: img.ffffound.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(273)
 
(KIRO)
 
 
 
Hikers stranded on Three Fingers Mountain. Rescue crews searching the pink, the stink
source: kirotv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(35)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Most badass 15-lb poodle/spaniel mix ever chases two bear cubs -- and their mother -- up a tree
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(70)
 
(Sound and Motion)
 
 
 
Mom risks mother of the year award when she tries to trade her five-year old daughter for a used car
source: livenews.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(110)
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
"If being a woman and eating lunch topless in a public toilet is a crime then, yes, lock me up"
source: theaustralian.news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(118)
 
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
Note to Florida: When females are placed in programs for troubled girls, it isn't because they're having trouble getting laid
source: orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(48)
 
(AlterNet)
 
 
 
Louisiana law allows teachers to bring in "supplemental textbooks" about evolution, demonstrating Creationist tactics taking on subtle changes over time, improving their chances to survive in today's scholastic environment
source: alternet.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(776)
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Slain couple with family issues write a will bequeathing insults all around
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(86)
 
(The Register)
 
 
 
Billboard campaign advertising historical naval attraction fails to mention Rum and the Lash
source: theregister.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(51)
 
(LBC 97.3)
 
 
 
Old and busted: Making students wear uniforms to improve public schools. New hotness: Making teachers wear uniforms to improve public schools
source: tampabays10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(62)
 
(Dallas News)
 
 
 
Abercrombie & Fitch employees shocked, SHOCKED, to find that the butterfaces are regulated to folding shirts in the stockroom
source: dallasnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(417)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Firefighters returning from fighting a blaze discover their firehouse resembles rain on your wedding day
source: pantagraph.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(38)
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Bats take turns "shutting up" when flying in groups. Obviously the male ones
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(29)
 
(New Zealand Herald)
 
 
 
Old and Busted: watering down the drinks in a nightclub. New Hotness: watering down the pain medication in hospital
source: nzherald.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(31)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
The most incredible photographs of Chinese people painted to disappear into their surroundings that you're likely to see today
source: galeriebertin.fr   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(100)
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
(Are we still supposed to submit these kinds of stories or are we pretty much past this?)
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(54)
 
(CBS13.com - CBS Sacramento)
 
 
 
Today's "driving with .34 BAC with twin daughters in backseat" store brought to you by Sacramento, Calif. (w/ ".34 wouldn't be enough" mugshot)
source: cbs13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(64)
 
(Google)
 
 
 
Today's Iron Photoshop ingredients: A monkey, a mouse and a moose. Difficulty: No cartoon characters
source: google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(50)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
If Moby Dick and Jaws had sex, this would be the product of their love
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(91)
 
(Dayton Daily News)
 
 
 
If you flushed a grenade down the toilet in Xenia, OH, the police would like to speak with you
source: daytondailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(57)
 
(ABC)
 
 
 
FDIC warns that it might not have enough money to insure everybody during the current bank crisis, says tip line can be reached at 1-800-MATTRESS
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(165)
 
(tmj4)
 
 
 
Garbage collectors on strike in Milwaukee area. Doubtful anyone will notice for a while
source: todaystmj4.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(58)
 


Tue August 26, 2008
(Seacoastonline.com)
 
 
 
Mailman "addicted" to baseball cards goes all postal over 1915 Crack Jack card
source: seacoastonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(65)
 
(Wall Street Journal)
 
 
 
San Francisco can't add bike lanes, or even bike racks, because bicycles cause too much pollution
source: online.wsj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(278)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Around 500 high school students suspended over wearing the wrong belts
source: kvue.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(160)
 
(Cincinnati Enquirer)
 
 
 
In one of the worst decisions ever made, school bans cheerleading uniforms
source: news.cincinnati.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(189)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Wife becomes the first woman in Kentucky charged with bigamy (w/ picture that will make you want to become monogamous or even celibate)
source: wlwt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(222)
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Now nanny state using 'dog wardens' to fine public
source: dailyexpress.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(42)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Your brother changes your account from administrator to guest on the family computer. Thats a stabbin'
source: floridatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(61)
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Training program encourages students and professors to fight back in the event of a shooting with "improvised" weapons. Short Dell battery, count to three, throw
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(168)
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Big-busted woman wearing a large underwire bra sets off the airport metal detector. Discovers the real boobs are in the TSA. "You can't treat me as a criminal for wearing a bra."
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(274)
 
(Hudson Register Star)
 
 
 
Actual small-town newspaper headline: "Michael C. Howard is not dead"
source: registerstar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(28)
 
(PinkNews)
 
 
 
Woman ejected from US federal building over lesbian T-shirt
source: pinknews.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(224)
 
(AZCentral)
 
 
 
Mork killed in freak flash flood near Arizona-California border. Pray for Mindy
source: azcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(64)
 
(Canada.com)
 
NewsFlash
 
Air France Jumbo Jet skids off runway in Montreal. No one hurt, but there may be a $12 deplaning charge
source: canada.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(87)
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Daily Show correspondents are having trouble conducting interviews at DNC because fans keep swarming around them
source: blogs.usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(146)
 
(Local6)
 
 
 
Man gets into six-hour standoff with SWAT team because he was annoyed by Michelle Obama's speech
source: local6.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(104)
 
(Local6)
 
 
 
Man falls nearly 60 feet from TV tower. Doctors say he's doing okay for now, but stay tuned
source: local6.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(38)
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
Not a witch
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(145)
 
(Minneapolis Star Tribune)
 
 
 
Teen tries to convince cops he's sober and has alcohol breath from making out with drunk chick. Turns out he was lying on both counts
source: startribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(53)
 
(TwinCities.com)
 
 
 
Ron Paul's wife to be discharged from hospital. Paul objects on grounds that nowhere in the Constitution is hospital release addressed
source: twincities.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(183)
 
(Beijing 2008)
 
 
 
Photoshop this Russian rhythmic gymnast
source: img03.beijing2008.cn   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(50)
 
(11 Alive)
 
NewsFlash
 
FAA computers that track flight plans for airplanes over the eastern US suffer failure, customers expected to pay an additional $7.50 each to get it turned back on
source: 11alive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(222)
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Priest cancels "beauty pageant" for nuns, apparently some people didn't like the idea
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(130)
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
"Armed men were never a threat", said the U.S. Attorney. Adding, "Everyone knows The Obama is impervious to bullets"
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(235)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Mother who "forgot" to file police report on "missing" daughter never "wanted" daughter and only kept her because "mother" "wanted" her "to." """""
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(302)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Bad: Getting caught with beer and underage girls at a pool party you hosted. Fark: When the realtor drops by to check on his vacant property
source: weatherforddemocrat.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(75)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Soldier survives 2 tours of duty in Iraq, only to be killed on the job at a federal prison because he wasn't allowed to be armed while guarding 100 inmates alone. Nanny state shakes head in disbelief
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(243)
 
(Ft. Collins Now)
 
 
 
Michelle Malkin and a bunch of truthers get into an argument on the streets of Denver. And nobody called in an airstrike
source: fortcollinsnow.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(459)
 
(Seattle Times)
 
 
 
Charges dropped against woman who protested lax identification and citizenship standards by registering her dog to vote. Suspects paw-print signature on the registration card tipped them off, or his constant baracking in support of Obama
source: seattletimes.nwsource.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(32)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
If you can hijack a plane with over a hundred people on it and all you have is a knife, I'm all like, free plane man, it's yours
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(131)
 
(Hindu.com)
 
 
 
Mysterious virus in India turns out to be malaria, 270 dead. Nothing to see here, move along
source: hindu.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(66)
 
(Wordpress)
 
 
 
This just in: you can't trade hogs for sex in KY any more
source: bluegrassbeat.wordpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(142)
 
(Kansas City)
 
 
 
Home sales down 35.3 percent year-to-year, but up 2.4 percent month-to-month. Guess which one the media decided to report. Hint: EVERYBODY PANIC
source: kansascity.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(177)
 
(Time)
 
 
 
SAT scores stay at lowest level in a decade. USA SUA UAS
source: time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(205)
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
"I believe in natural gas as a clean, cheap alternative to fossil fuels." Natural gas = fossil fuel. Don't worry though, it isn't like the speaker of the House needs to understand energy issues
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(311)
 
(Daily Herald)
 
 
 
After kind townsfolk raise over $1300 for Burmese immigrant who was beaten and robbed, he's keeping $130, and sending the rest to Burma to build a kindergarten
source: paherald.sk.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(52)
 
(AZCentral)
 
 
 
A new beer named after the "patron saint" of drug traffickers is brewing up controversy in Mexico
source: azcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(67)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Husband secretly saves $1,200 for family vacation to Disney World, hides the money in a DVD case, which his wife then sells for $10. "He thought the DVD case was a great spot to hide it from me, and it was," she says
source: blog.mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(258)
 
(WorldNetDaily)
 
 
 
Bad news for Obama: According to a recently released WND poll, the majority of voters are bigots who want to provide financial assistance to their imaginary half-brothers in Kenya and stop gang members from joining gangs
source: worldnetdaily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(299)
 
(Canada.com)
 
 
 
Here's a headline for the ages: "Canada remains happily mediocre"
source: canada.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(276)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Police ban snatching bag stripper. Or maybe it was the other way around
source: brisbanetimes.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(105)
 
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
McCain leads Obama by four percent in Florida, thanks in large part to his ads saying Obama wants to tax 4:00 p.m. early-bird dinner specials at Sizzler
source: blogs.orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(420)
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
"Cancer cluster" confirmed in northeastern PA region that is home to Superfund sites and a power plant fired by waste coal. But nobody is sure if there's a connection, and the Senate refuses to fund research. America, fark yeah
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(196)
 
(Toledo Blade)
 
 
 
Two men admit that yes, they did burn their grandmother's house to the ground, but they were drunk and were trying to play a prank on their cousin. Who wasn't even home at the time
source: toledoblade.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(29)
 
(Some Psycho)
 
 
 
"I made that decision myself, after everyone had left the area, to send a strong message... and we did. We put a round through that beer keg... and beer went everywhere"
source: palatkadailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(117)
 
(My Fox Tampa Bay)
 
 
 
City considers charging citizens $100 per year for a public library card. "We're trying to make it a user-based approach"
source: myfoxtampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(168)
 
(Mirfield Reporter)
 
 
 
Forty-year-old man flashed and fondled by one teenage girl while another picks his pocket. Man says that he is shocked at their boldness, will definitely stop going to this bar as soon as he runs out of wallets
source: mirfieldreporter.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(135)
 
(London Times)
 
 
 
German Shepherd-sized mini-cow called "Dexter" gives 16 pints of milk a day, mows lawn, kills nasty people who don't deserve to share this beautiful planet with us
source: timesonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(84)
 
(Reason Magazine)
 
 
 
"The Democratic Party has just blown almost one-quarter of its convention on some of the most tepid personal-trivia testimonials and no-really-they-watched-Brady-Bunch crapola I have heard since my last Amway convention"
source: reason.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(708)
 
(My Fox NY)
 
 
 
Man spends $10,000 on a bar mitzvah. For his dog
source: myfoxny.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(59)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Last week, McCain didn't know how many houses he owns. This week, Obama didn't know what city he was in
source: news-leader.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(454)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop theme: Bigfoot hiding in plain sight
source: dbtechno.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(86)
 
(Daily Record (UK))
 
 
 
Couple get married, go out drinking, get in a drunken street brawl, spend their wedding night in separate cells. This would be news if it happened outside Scotland
source: dailyrecord.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(42)
 
(Herald Tribune (SW Florida))
 
 
 
Woman picks up 10th DUI arrest, holds rare double ace distinction (with "you'd buy her an appletini" pic)
source: heraldtribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(224)
 
(Lancashire Evening Post)
 
 
 
Councillor suddenly dislikes CCTV cameras after one is erected near his front door
source: lep.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(66)
 
(Ada Evening News)
 
 
 
Man faced felony drug charges... until he ate all the evidence before cops could send it to the lab. OM NOM NOMisdemeanor
source: adaeveningnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(66)
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Horror movie fan rents out an entire cinema by himself to disprove a director's claim that his latest horror movie is so scary no one can watch it alone
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(116)
 
(Daily Record (UK))
 
 
 
Father who ran off reunited with the son he left behind, after 22 years... both doing hard time in the same prison for sex offenses. Awwwwww
source: dailyrecord.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook