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Sun April 20, 2008
Source     Fark Headline Comments
(Vermont Sunday Magazine)
 
 
 
Atheist church? It's more likely than you think
source: timesargus.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(342)
 
(Christian Science Monitor)
 
 
 
The Christian Science Monitor suggests ten things you can do if your flight is canceled
source: csmonitor.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(106)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
If you're planning on blowing up your high school it isn't the most cunning plan to have 10 pounds of ammonium nitrate Fed Ex'd to your house
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(157)
 
(Fark)
 
Plug
 
Totalfark: It's like a colonoscopy for your brain
 
 
(Chicago Sun-Times)
 
 
 
31 people shot this weekend in Bagh,... wait, Chicago?
source: suntimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(323)
 
(Arizona Star)
 
 
 
Not News: road-raging man waves gun at another driver. Fark: accidentally shoots himself
source: azstarnet.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(39)
 
(Triple kickflip varial)
 
 
 
British author and comedian Tony Hawks receives a lot of email intended for the skateboarder, douchebaggery ensues
source: tony-hawks.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(112)
 
(Google)
 
 
 
Eco-friendly funeral proponents claim they're mulch better for environment, keep water tables formaldehyde-free, produce great worms for fish bait
source: canadianpress.google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(60)
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
U.S. deserters seek Canadian residency, future Presidency
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(221)
 
(WTFark)
 
Plug
 
The Curse of the Ear Maggot: Indian doctor removes maggots from man's ear. Who were trying to eat man's brain. Happy Friday everyone!
 
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Chelsea Clinton mobbed for pictures during gay pub crawl in Philly, one girl brags "I grabbed her ass"
source: firstread.msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(134)
 
(Examiner)
 
 
 
Man tries to steal statue of Yellow Peanut M&M. Reportedly was going to hold it for ransom until the Noid and King Vitamin are released from detention
source: examiner.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(34)
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Kids as young as 5 are fighting each other in kickboxing clubs. £10 on the littlest one, 3 to 1 odds
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(64)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Photoshop a logo for the "new" Northwest/Delta Airlines
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(35)
 
(IOL.co.za)
 
 
 
Man jumps with a bungee cord he made out of condoms. "It was difficult as the condoms are slippery."
source: int.iol.co.za   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(42)
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Fenster found
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(79)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
School district thinks it's a good idea to randomly test teen cheerleaders, debate members, and kids on the speech team for drugs. "We want to give these kids another opportunity to 'just say no'"
source: missoulian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(391)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
More and more women are taking vacations and leaving their men behind to enjoy watching sports and drinking beer in their underwear all by their lonesome selves
source: coloradoan.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(151)
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Female journalist explores why men don't do household chores: "In my experience, husbands are a lot like children."
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(667)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Guy spends five years building yacht in backyard, knowing that there's no way to get it out. All hail the failboat
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(165)
 
(Some Q)
 
 
 
London museum opens display of James Bond & Ian Fleming memorabilia, including such deadly weapons as Rosa Klebb's shoe, Fleming's .357 revolver and Halle Berry's bikini
source: london.iwm.org.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(74)
 
(CVG)
 
 
 
Inmate who tried to sue Michael Vick for "$63,000,000,000 billion dollars" has a new target. Grand Theft Auto IV
source: computerandvideogames.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(136)
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Police officer fails to master the basic skill of not falling asleep on duty. Also needs a little work on the "don't get high and break into cars" aspect of his job
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(17)
 
(Beertown)
 
 
 
2008 World Beer Cup results. Old Milwaukee Light for the win
source: beertown.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(184)
 
(Some Cuckoo)
 
 
 
Photoshop these dangly things
source: cuckooclockologist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(37)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Former UK deputy PM admits bulimia problem. With picture proving that he's doing it wrong
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(71)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Prince William in trouble for performing cunning stunt for his stunning... girlfriend
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(150)
 
(Miami Herald)
 
 
 
Porn pastor brings Jesus to Exxxotica
source: miamiherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(105)
 
(KMXB CBS-12)
 
 
 
Car engine's air intake not the best place to put bag of pot
source: kxmb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(65)
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
If you could go back to being 20, what characteristic or belief would you instill in yourself to make your life better?
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(718)
 
(London Times)
 
 
 
Nanny State cracks down on yet another dangerous enemy of the people: bagpipers
source: entertainment.timesonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(99)
 
(Hawaii Volcano Observatory)
 
 
 
Caption this Hawaiian Geologic Advancement Enforcement Officer
source: hvo.wr.usgs.gov   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(75)
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Ecuadorian nightclub takes page out of Great White playbook: indoor fireworks, padlocked doors, and numerous deaths due to fire and smoke inhalation
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(35)
 
(Sydney Morning Herald)
 
 
 
Not news: Criminal has 7-year history of assault and robbery. News: He escaped from custody 10 times in the last year. Fark: Dude, he's 12
source: smh.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(74)
 
(Bangkok)
 
 
 
140 funeral guests rushed to hospital after eating puffer fish balls
source: bangkokpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(76)
 
(Send more cops)
 
 
 
Zombie wanted in crocodile brain theft
source: sundaynews.co.zw   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(22)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Richard Branson is going to marry a couple in outer space. Maybe men really are from Mars
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(37)
 
(Federal Way Mirror)
 
 
 
Actual headline: "Two women report ghost has been having sex with them"
source: fedwaymirror.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(115)
 
(Wordpress)
 
 
 
Photoshop these garlic cloves
source: katek.files.wordpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(36)
 
(Mainichi Daily News)
 
 
 
The drunk asleep in the men's room / Taxman, Mr. Yada / Punching the guy who wakes him up / Taxman, you're on Fark
source: mdn.mainichi.jp   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(10)
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
"What are you in for?" "Murder." "What are you in for?" "Rape." "What are you in for?" "I tried to stop my bank from repossessing my home."
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(108)
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Sydney morgue forced to buy forklift to deal with McDonalds generation
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(62)
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Deep thinkers see how things will be in 2058. Oddly, flying car not on list
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(148)
 
(The Whig)
 
 
 
When police ask how much he's had to drink, trucker responds "a shiatload."
source: thewhig.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(36)
 
(IndyStar)
 
 
 
Danica does it, is first female to win in Indy car competition
source: indystar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(360)
 


Sat April 19, 2008
(Slate)
 
 
 
Slate plays "six degrees of Adolf Hitler" with the presidential candidates. Godwinner, at two degrees: Hitlary
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(221)
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
Badly botched bee burglary bungled by bellicose bees bludgeoning would-bee bandit
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(44)
 
(Science Daily)
 
 
 
Interpreters for the Deaf at higher risk of injury than assembly line workers. GARRETT MORRIS UNAVAILABLE FOR COMMENT
source: sciencedaily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(85)
 
(The Orange County Register)
 
 
 
Man who breaks into adult store can't open cash register, settles for $250 rubberized replica of Jenna Jameson's lower half
source: ocregister.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(72)
 
(Canada.com)
 
 
 
BJ's Sausage explodes all over the face of small Saskatchewan town
source: canada.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(63)
 
(Chicago Sun-Times)
 
 
 
Chicago area funeral homes refuse to bury teenage boy for fear of gang retaliation
source: suntimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(61)
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Statistics show some truthiness to the Colbert Bump
source: elections.foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(63)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Man spends 50 years in jail for killing his father, only to discover after release that his father is still alive
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(80)
 
(Some Stoner)
 
 
 
"Dumb Doper Award" given to guy who brought two bags of weed to his parole meeting
source: digitaljournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(92)
 
(PhotoSig)
 
 
 
Photoshop this free-falling lovely
source: photos.photosig.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(63)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
In an effort to avoid foreclosure, couple decides to raffle off home for $100 a ticket. State claims that this is a violation of the "Bank Bingo and Mortgage Pinball Act of 1829"
source: koat.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(51)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Not news: $260,000 Aston Martin demolished during James Bond shooting. Fark: By a technician who ran it off the road into a lake while driving to the set
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(80)
 
(Lexington Herald Leader)
 
 
 
8th grader charged with felony after putting crumbled peanut butter cookies in another kid's lunchbox
source: kentucky.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(336)
 
(AZCentral)
 
 
 
City of Needles, California to the rest of country: We're tired of all the Peanuts jokes, we're moving to Nevada
source: azcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(87)
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Apparently, the death penalty in Great Britian is DIY. With "WTF is that thing on his head?" pic
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(71)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
RI hospital sued over advertising campaign. Fark: from 1912
source: kob.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(66)
 
(London Times)
 
 
 
Most seductive woman ever has Halle Berry's eyes, Jennifer Lopez's nose, Kelly Brook's hair and body, Angelina Jolie's pout and wears Marilyn Monroe's white dress. Or any live woman after two bottles of scotch
source: women.timesonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(583)
 
(The Register)
 
 
 
Cop who lead investigation and is scheduled to testify against Pirate Bay turns out to have taken a job with Warner Brothers in the meantime
source: theregister.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(70)
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Global warming helps Scottish ski resorts to best season in a generation. In related news, there are apparently Scottish ski resorts
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(151)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this beautiful bacteria
source: topnews.in   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(50)
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Research debunks the "grumpy old person" stereotype, shows that as we age we get happier. Maybe because those damn kids finally are staying of our damn lawns
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(88)
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Female army MP has sex with her boyfriend in barracks bar. Surprisingly, someone had a problem with this. The Sun is there... and how
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(122)
 
(AFP)
 
 
 
Fark: Hoax runner fools Australian crowds with a homemade Olympic torch topped by flaming underpants. Not News: In 1956
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(24)
 
(Duluth News Tribune)
 
 
 
"I'm too ornery to die" says 83 year old fisherman after surviving 35 minutes in icy river. But he has also survived two triple-bypass heart surgeries and six heart attacks. Fark: heart attack #6 was while he was in the river
source: duluthnewstribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(54)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Children are more than twice as likely to be injured falling out of bed as they are tumbling out of a tree because they can't get their fat little carcasses away from the Xbox
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(66)
 
(CBS2Chicago.com)
 
 
 
Chicago Police tout that shootings are down in 2008, just before about 20 people are shot in a 12-hour period across city. Awkward
source: cbs2chicago.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(130)
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
More middle aged men are quitting their jobs and becoming priests
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(73)
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Companies cash in by "greenwashing" consumers with products labeled with vague pro-environmental buzzwords
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(153)
 
(The Weekly Standard)
 
 
 
"The effect is of being strapped to an armchair and dropped backwards off a balcony onto a patio."
source: weeklystandard.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(48)
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Um... if a space capsule landed in your yard, the Russian Space Agency would really like it back
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(49)
 
(Sun Journal (Maine))
 
 
 
Six months ago a Maine school decided to give birth control to any student that asked, even as young as 11. So far, one student has asked
source: sunjournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(78)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Hypnotherapist had an 83-minute operation on his arm with no anaesthetic
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(70)
 
(Hamilton Spectator)
 
 
 
Man's pants set on fire by Taser, Foobies links
source: thespec.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(25)
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
When asked if Obama's dirt-off-your-shoulder move was directly referencing Jay-Z, Obama spokesperson says, "Well, Barack does have Jay-Z on his iPod"
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(912)
 
(London Times)
 
 
 
Accountant who stole £70,000 has been ordered by a judge to repay the money by selling his huge stamp collection on eBay. A+++++ would let swindle again
source: timesonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(21)
 
(Stars and Stripes)
 
 
 
Seaman spurts from train platform to rescue man in throes of seizure, within seconds of coming train. Penis
source: stripes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(45)
 
(Mercury News)
 
 
 
Today's cats are coming with fancy new options, such as fire-retardant and stain-proof coats. Insta-captioning ability won't be available until Caturday 2009
source: origin.mercurynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(426)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Having solved all other problems, a train company has announced it will ban passengers for life who repeatedly put their feet on the seats
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(28)
 
(Daily Record (UK))
 
 
 
You might not be ready for your fourth marriage if your ex-husbands include a man who eloped with your own mom, a bigamist and a pal who stood in for your fiance when he jilted you the night before the wedding. And you're only 24
source: dailyrecord.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(102)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Man hassled by authorities for not having a "camera license". Was it in (a) 1968 Soviet Union, (b) 1988 North Korea, or (c) 2008 Great Britain?
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(99)
 
(Portland Mercury)
 
 
 
College: $40,000. Passing the bar: $30,000. Knowing the specific statute that gives you authority to issue a police officer a parking ticket: priceless
source: portlandmercury.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(258)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this blissful bore
source: wickedlocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(48)
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
President Bush to appear on "Deal or No Deal". Contestants refuse to choose the briefcase he's holding
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(111)
 
(London Times)
 
 
 
Last week, the island of Sark, the last feudal state in Europe, approved law reforms leading to universal suffrage. It's not news, it's Sark.com
source: timesonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(86)
 
(Cambridge Chronicle)
 
 
 
Someone's stealing every brass fountain from the city of Cambridge. Presumably, to melt them down into even bigger balls
source: wickedlocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(18)
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
A wonderful bird is the pelican, a bird strike just brought on pure mayhem. Now I know just how the helican
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(36)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Bad News: wife sues you for child support. Worse News: She wins. Fark: for a baby that never existed
source: koat.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(122)
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
More than 50 girls succumb to hysteria. Pyromania not as popular
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(129)
 


Fri April 18, 2008
(Seattle Times)
 
 
 
Motorcyclist achieves record speed of "absolute insanity" according to Oregon State Police; Cool, Scary, or Dumbass?
source: seattletimes.nwsource.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(210)
 
(Local6)
 
 
 
Kennedy Space Center worker finds Bahamian girl's message in a bottle. Lucky girl and her school are getting a package of space memorabilia in return
source: local6.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(52)
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Giant-ass mystery rodent found on road near Milwaukie, Oregon - with giant-ass cuddly rodent picture
source: latimesblogs.latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(95)
 
(Baltimore Sun)
 
 
 
When a couple of people have just robbed you, calling the cops is generally the right thing to do. However, this does not apply if you were trying to sell them heroin beforehand
source: baltimoresun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(17)
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
TSG's weekly mugshot roundup. #1 is hot. The rest, you'll have to see to believe
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(208)
 
(Google)
 
 
 
Photoshop your favorite celebrity as a clown. LGT inspiration
source: images.google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(92)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Alaska Governor Palin has a boy. That means "gave birth to". She's a governor, not a teacher
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(67)
 
(The Chattanoogan)
 
 
 
Judge Moon says neglectful parents may need to go to jail. M-O-O-N, that spells jail
source: chattanoogan.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(78)
 
(NW Florida Daily News)
 
 
 
Florida woman learns not to take safety for granite
source: nwfdailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(77)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Lead? In my Astro-turf? It's more likely than you think
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(46)
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
"NY police on Pope watch snatch river beaver"
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(57)
 
(Dallas News)
 
 
 
Recipe: Bacon Chocolate-Chip Cookies With Maple-Cinnamon Glaze
source: dallasnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(106)
 
(CBS4.com)
 
 
 
Hundreds of bikini-clad women descend on South Beach to try and set a new world record (with pictures and video)
source: cbs4.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(107)
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Memphis Farkers, Shall we have a Fark Party Tonight? Say Hueys Midtown, sans 9 PM?
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(71)
 
(St. Joseph News-Press)
 
 
 
At Camp Winnechasapasooki your kids will enjoy the following activities: baseball, canoeing, wacky choking game, tree climbing, carving
source: charleston.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(57)
 
(Some Florida Farker)
 
 
 
Not news: Man no longer allowed to carry his firearm after his wife files domestic violence complaint. Straight to Fark: It's the Chief of Police
source: thedestinlog.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(60)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
$10,000 for a child's birthday party? Back in submitter's day it was a carton of cigarettes and a "Hey, smoke up, Johnny"
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(159)
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
Content with Florida ranking 48th in edumacation, State legislature moves to cut teacher merit pay
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(48)
 
(ABC Action News)
 
 
 
If you paste a kid's picture onto a porn mag, you're still a pedophile
source: abcactionnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(304)
 
(Brooklyn Paper)
 
 
 
Adult film stars proclaim Brooklyn, NY as the country's porn capital based on subscriptions to porn websites. In other news, Brooklynites haven't figured out how to get teh boobies for free
source: brooklynpaper.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(223)
 
(Commercial Appeal)
 
 
 
Joke-packed obituary about a woman referred to as "the whore of Babylon...{and later}...became the Blessed Madonna."
source: commercialappeal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(52)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Something really DOES smell rotten in Denmark
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(61)
 
(Canoe)
 
 
 
Chrysler recalls Sebrings, Avengers, times when their cars didn't suck
source: autonet.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(310)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Oldest woman in the world Edna Parker from Shelbyville, IL turns 115 today. Charles Montgomery Burns of Springfield calls shenanigans
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(97)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this $140,000 KEF speaker system
source: pics.livejournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(68)
 
(KMBC)
 
 
 
Missouri shows it's grammatical prowess. By omitting a crucial hyphen from there new license plate's
source: kmbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(201)
 
(CBS4Boston.com)
 
 
 
Reporter shocked, SHOCKED, to learn that tobacco company is leading campaign to stop tax increases on cigarettes
source: wbztv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(65)
 
(TC Palm)
 
 
 
Actual headline: Weight Watchers demonstrator accused of shoplifting cupcakes at Port St. Lucie Publix (mug included)
source: tcpalm.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(129)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Army of rats cause famine scare in Indian state. If only there was an abundance of a small meaty animals that could be roasted and then eaten
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(150)
 
(Yale Daily News)
 
 
 
In an attempt to further extend her 15 minutes of fame, student now denies Yale's claim that her multiple-abortion "art project" was a hoax
source: yaledailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(468)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Some sports teams are named after animals. Others are named after themes of local interest. Then there's the Indian Premier Cricket League, where teams are named after brands of liquor, or talking cars
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(57)
 
(ZDNet)
 
 
 
AT&T says the tubes of the intarwebs will be clogged with lolcats by 2010. EVERYBODY PANIC
source: news.zdnet.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(254)
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Pope criticizes US for undermining UN, is promptly labeled a fanatical religious leader and sent to Gitmo
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(263)
 
(Starpulse)
 
 
 
Gary Busey evicted from his Malibu home. Landlord handed him the eviction notice and then ran far, far away, really fast
source: starpulse.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(144)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Robert E. Lee caught in Sears store peeping on patrons from his 'masturbatorium'
source: styleweekly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(275)
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
Boston Globe searches for the answers as to why Kenyans have won the Boston Marathon each year since 1986
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(161)
 
(ABC)
 
 
 
Texas Rangers arrest Colorado woman with history of pretending to be a victimized girl in connection with phone call sparking polygamist sect raid that seized over 400 children. Oops, mulligan?
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(363)
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Confidential Freedom Tower plans found in garbage can by homeless man. Good job, guys
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(220)
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Apparently, words like "RickRoll" and "UGC" are all part of a language called Nerdic, which means that technically, we're all bilingual
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(152)
 
(Breitbart.com)
 
 
 
As it turns out, the man who thought his dog was an impostor was right
source: breitbart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(109)
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
Florida reacts to threat of increased hurricane threats this year by cancelling its "hurricane supply tax free holiday". Subby torn between asinine, dumbass, and ironic tags. Uses the one that sums up them all
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(75)
 
(ABC)
 
 
 
ABC runs an in-depth article on "sneeze fetishists". It's not news, it's ABC
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(155)
 
(IOL.co.za)
 
 
 
Putin denies divorcing his wife in order to marry the hot, young, flexible gymnast. "I love my wife. That gymnast is not my type... her knees are too sharp."
source: int.iol.co.za   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(134)
 
(IndyStar)
 
 
 
ACLU to Indiana, "you can't reference God on a license plate for free". Judge to ACLU, "Suck it"
source: indystar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(1252)
 
(WCBStv.com)
 
 
 
Pope Benedict XVI arrives in New York City, asked to pay an $8 toll after stepping off the plane
source: wcbstv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(238)
 
(Greenfield Recorder)
 
 
 
Woman orders boyfriend to stop on Interstate and lasso an emu. "That bird kicked my ass"
source: recorder.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(99)
 
(NASA)
 
 
 
Photoshop these people with this thing
source: kepler.nasa.gov   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(78)
 
(London Times)
 
 
 
Blackjack is a mystery cat, he's called the hidden paw / for he's the master criminal who can defy the law / He lives on the Olympic site, the building teams despair / For when they reach the trap they've set, Blackjack is not there
source: timesonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(87)
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
School in an English town that was the last to hang witches in 1593, decides "hey maybe we should do something about our witch logo"
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(91)
 
(Boston Herald)
 
 
 
Unarmed robbery victim charged with armed robbery after demanding his money back
source: news.bostonherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(54)
 
(Dog Magazine)
 
 
 
Impaled Scottish dog named Survivor of the Year. And for the last time, it's spelled "steak"
source: dogmagazine.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(29)
 
(Seattle Times)
 
 
 
Seattle mayor suggests secession from rest of the state, cites war of Eastern aggression
source: seattletimes.nwsource.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(389)
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
Mayor uses auto-dialer to inform constituents his cat is missing, ends up finding it in the wall of his house
source: seattlepi.nwsource.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(39)
 
(Nation News)
 
 
 
Church preaches love and tolerance, but at least a few people are coming to buy groceries at below-market prices
source: nationnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(51)
 
(Cape - Gazette)
 
 
 
The New York Times finally discovers how to sell media: sex, porn, viagra, divorce, YouTube, and SEO
source: alleyinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(18)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Staff caught beTwix rock and hard candy at Honda's UK factory Flake out after being banned from eating biscuit-based chocolates. Submitter Revels, Snickers at Nutrageous situation
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(40)
 
(Derby Evening Telegraph)
 
 
 
Like 1985 season of "Dallas," chef's drunken murder of gay homeless man was all a dream, costing taxpayers £12,000 after 359 hours of investigation. "He accepts that he had been drinking significantly."
source: thisisderbyshire.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(20)
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Learner bus driver turned a double-decker into an open-top (w/pic). Bus-Hitting-Overpass trifecta in play
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(38)
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
You awaken after a night of heavy drinking to find your clothes missing and some old guy with his false teeth in his pocket and his head in your lap. You have a hammer. Option C ensues
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(95)
 
(Coventry Telegraph)
 
 
 
Once you're convicted of driving 145mph on a two-lane road, don't ask the judge to delay jail time until after your upcoming Malaysian vacation
source: coventrytelegraph.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(25)
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
"It's easy to screw a platypus". Translation: "Perhaps you should think about new counsel for your murder trial"
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(37)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
You've just gotten in a car crash while on your cell phone. Do you: a) exchange insurance info with the other driver b) call your lawyer c) inject heroin into your arm using a seat belt as a tourniquet?
source: thedailyjournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(26)
 
(USGS)
 
NewsFlash
 
Magnitude 5.4 earthquake strikes 127 miles east of St. Louis, felt in several states
source: earthquake.usgs.gov   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(762)
 
(AFP)
 
 
 
Man gets so drunk with his co-worker he fails to notice the six-inch blade his friend stuck in his back. "We got drunk together. Things happen when you drink."
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(22)
 
(New Zealand Herald)
 
 
 
Beating a man to death over a bag of pistachios... that's just nuts
source: nzherald.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(41)
 
(London Times)
 
 
 
More and more British are deciding the "fry up" breakfast -- consisting of eggs, bacon, sausage, fried potatoes, baked beans, tomatoes, and other assorted crap -- is not that smart after all
source: timesonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(243)
 
(L.A. Daily News)
 
 
 
End Times begin in Los Angeles; dogs and sheep living together, mass hysteria
source: dailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(24)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Yale student's claim she had multiple abortions for art project actually a hoax intended to be "performance art"
source: ap.google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(246)
 
(National Post)
 
 
 
Canadian Supreme Court tosses the "two beer" defense on its ass. Chewbacca defense still OK
source: nationalpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(36)
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
America-hating terrorist Barack Hussein Obama caught flipping the bird. It's not news, it's the Los Angeles Times
source: latimesblogs.latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(372)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Bermuda residents haver their shorts in a knot over government proposal to scrap Queen of England's birthday as a national holiday (w/ pic of Queen vowing vengeance)
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(58)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this caveman
source: acephalous.typepad.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(59)
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Perth Stock Exchange in Australia under seige by armed man
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(145)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Newspaper wants to know what Vladimir Putin sees in a nubile 24-year-old rhythmic gymnast that he doesn't see in his wife
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(145)
 
(Forbes)
 
 
 
America's top most lustful cities. Let's hear it for the city where everyone is a member of the mile-high club
source: forbes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(132)
 


Thu April 17, 2008
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
Having solved all other security issues, Iraqi police begin to enforce seat belt laws. Yes, seat belt laws
source: seattlepi.nwsource.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(81)
 
(Chicago Sun-Times)
 
 
 
Mythical 'magic sword' giant turtle turns up for real in Vietnam, just down the road from the factory where four other weapons-wielding turtles are drawn for pennies a year
source: suntimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(64)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Romanian well-digger unable to stop himself at 6,441 profane phone calls to emergency services
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(27)
 
(Click On Detroit)
 
 
 
Woman pins two thieves to ground until police arrive. Includes pic just begging for a Fark caption
source: clickondetroit.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(151)
 
(Business & Media Institute)
 
 
 
Time Magazine photoshops famous Iwo Jima photo to replace US flag with a tree. Unhappy Iwo Jima vet says "we'll stick a dadgum tree up somebody's rear"
source: businessandmedia.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(285)
 
(TC Palm)
 
 
 
Not news: woman gets restraining order against male roommate. News: Cops serving order find white powdery lines in man's room. Fark: she laid out the lines of baby powder in his room in anticipation of the cops' visit
source: tcpalm.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(70)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop the Burj Al Arab hotel
source: eikongraphia.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(67)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
One of these quadruplets ain't like the others / One of these quadruplets doesn't belong
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(111)
 
(LBC 97.3)
 
 
 
Florida Senate debates then passes an amendment to impose a $60 fine on Truck Nutz
source: tampabays10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(222)
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
College newspaper issues correction to slight factual error: Apparently the Dalai Lama did not, in fact, have sex with hundreds of men, nor does he have AIDS. Whoops
source: gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(85)
 
(WTAM)
 
 
 
"Hey Matt, what did you do on your honeymoon?" "I put my wife in a cage and shot at her feet." "Well... that explains the $5 million bond"
source: wtam.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(102)
 
(WSAZ West Virginia)
 
 
 
Police find a ton of pot hidden in a inflatable slide. Take a ride on the Fun Slide
source: wsaz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(60)
 
(Starpulse)
 
 
 
Venezuela stops having a cow, man
source: starpulse.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(37)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Sheriff sentenced to 467 years in prison for running wet T-shirt contest in prison. Personal accountability surrenders
source: officer.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(194)
 
(Seacoastonline.com)
 
 
 
Mom with world-class Breathalyzer results can't get story straight; tells cops she pounded a bottle of wine during the day, tells judge it was cocktails at night. Numbers indicate all of the above
source: seacoastonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(30)
 
(Miami Herald)
 
 
 
Fark's favorite state finally got around to banning bestiality
source: miamiherald.typepad.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(139)
 
(volunteertv.com)
 
 
 
Two East Tennessee men arrested after a stabbing over who's paying for gas
source: volunteertv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(50)
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
Whatever happened to good old-fashioned dog names, names that weren't people names? Slowest news day at ESPN. Ever
source: sports.espn.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(250)
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Yale art major artificially inseminates herself multiple times so she can induce miscarriages in the name of "art"
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(1385)
 
(Geekology)
 
 
 
Inform the Nobel prize committee, the greatest invention of this decade is here and it is full of awesome
source: geekologie.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(77)
 
(Canada.com)
 
 
 
"The skirt is really, really short. So, if you have to wear panties underneath you know it's too short"
source: canada.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(503)
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
Topless woman tells cops that God told her to direct traffic
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(78)
 
(WRAL)
 
 
 
Today's "teacher-student sex scandal" story brought to you by Raleigh, NC (with "Hit or No Hit?" mugshot)
source: wral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(167)
 
(ICNetwork)
 
 
 
Taking vitamins can shorten your life. Ten million strong and dying
source: icwales.icnetwork.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(85)
 
(Cape - Gazette)
 
 
 
Dallas woman sues Blockbuster for telling Facebook's Beacon (and all her friends) she rented "Debbie Does Dallas"
source: alleyinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(116)
 
(Some English Writer)
 
 
 
Here's how to be happy, 1820s style. BONUS: These suggestions will work today
source: simplystated.realsimple.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(109)
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark's sales guy, Mike F, interviews "The Dude"
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(78)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Virginia newspaper thrilled that one of town's students has made it to National Geographic's nationwide geography bee. According to them, "champions from 52 states" will be taking part
source: loudountimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(130)
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Wish a happy 50th _______ to Mad Libs today
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(150)
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Unemployed fraudster attempted to sell London's famous Ritz Hotel to a businessman for £250m
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(30)
 
(ABC)
 
 
 
First, they came for the courthouse painting of Jesus Christ. When they come for the daily $3.99 pasta special in the courthouse cafeteria, will it be too late? Ramen
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(215)
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
FBI investigating Boston Fire Department after 60 percent of the retirees between '05-'07 left on tax-free disability pensions. Many of them were "injured" while playing "Chief for a Day," doubling their pensions
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(269)
 
(Engadget)
 
 
 
Know those annoying people who won't get the hell off their cell phones on the bus or the elevator? Well, here's a new wrinkle on that involving robbing banks
source: engadget.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(107)
 
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
Doctor -- answering an emergency call for a suspected heart attack in church -- arrives to discover it's his mother-in-law. Saves her life anyway
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(47)
 
(SuperDeluxe)
 
 
 
"The Ten Commandments" meets "The Godfather"
source: superdeluxe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(272)
 
(Austin Statesman)
 
 
 
♫ Here's the story, of an ugly lawyer, who was fapping at a mighty ugly judge. ♫
source: 209.85.165.104   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(61)
 
(Pravda)
 
 
 
Putin secretly divorces his wife and marries Russia's sexiest athlete, Alina Kabaeva
source: english.pravda.ru   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(263)
 
(CBS4Boston.com)
 
 
 
If you're trying to arrange a drug buy via text message, for God's sake, know whom you're texting
source: wbztv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(93)
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Jury strangely rejects that it was necessary to behead and burn your "attacker" after stabbing him to death in order to defend yourself
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(104)
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
A dog on a skateboard. No, not her, a real dog. The Sun is there
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(33)
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
Bus carrying girl's softball team doesn't quite make it through overpass (with "someone's getting fired" pic)
source: seattlepi.nwsource.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(132)
 
(Business & Media Institute)
 
 
 
Worried about your car suddenly accelerting and exploding when you find a finger in your Wendy's chili? Nine media myths that scared the nation. Breast implants
source: businessandmedia.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(189)
 
(The Register)
 
 
 
UK government is scared to death that British Telecom is going to disclose their midget tranny porn browsing habits
source: theregister.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(13)
 
(KCRA Sacramento)
 
 
 
Attention Wal-Mart shoppers: Would the parolee who just left his nine baggies of meth on the counter please report back -- we have your empty baggies
source: kcra.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(27)
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Singer Akon exposed on The Smoking Gun... not such a convict after all
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(136)
 
(ABC Action News)
 
 
 
Babysitter plays drinking game with 12-year-old. No word as to whether being "nearly killed" actually just meant "couldn't hang"
source: abcactionnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(47)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop these colorful balloons
source: salug.hosting.cri74.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(55)
 
(La Crosse Tribune)
 
 
 
Thirteen-year-old's science project on water torture draws the attention of local media, bullies in bathrooms
source: lacrossetribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(41)
 
(Minnesota Daily)
 
 
 
Reviewer slams Bob Saget, complaining that the "wholesome clean-freak dad is now an edgy and inappropriate bastion of bad taste." Bob Saget trifecta now in play
source: mndaily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(169)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Federal judge rules that the government has the right to tell you to not be fat
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(288)
 
(Philly.com)
 
 
 
An open letter to Charlie Gibson and George Stephanapoulos, by Will Bunch. "You disgraced my profession of journalism, and, by association, me and a lot of hard-working colleagues who do still try to ferret out the truth"
source: philly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(672)
 
(My Fox Orlando)
 
 
 
College students arrested for trying to kidnap a gator with a big leaf and tape
source: myfoxorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(39)
 
(National Post)
 
 
 
Verily I say unto you: Thou Shalt Not Question the Holy Global Warming, and unto ye who break this commandment I send the scourge of my terrible Wikipedia Zealots
source: nationalpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(594)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Today's headline that was made for Fark: "Johnson City man unharmed by exploding toilet"
source: star-gazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(73)
 
(The Earth Times)
 
 
 
Germans erect giant statue of man who just happens to be mooning Hitler's birthplace
source: earthtimes.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(107)
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
To fight eCards, Hallmark releases $6 cards that can record up to a 10-second voice message. Which is more than long enough to say, "I'm a moron who paid $6 for a piece of flimsy cardboard and a voicemail"
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(91)
 
(JSOnline)
 
 
 
Not news: Teacher looking at porn on the Internet at work. Fark: He claims he did it so the kids couldn't. SuperFark: He's asking for $9 million
source: jsonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(95)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Cheeky Wiki vandals discover quaint hamlet of Denshaw. Sheep-hurling, cow-shooting hilarity ensues
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(24)
 
(DenOfGeek)
 
 
 
Saws 2-4 director: "I'm sick of seeing the same movies. I'm sick of seeing cookie-cutter, manufactured movies"
source: denofgeek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(156)
 
(Lancashire Evening Post)
 
 
 
Landlord fails to see that having ghosts in his pub can actually be good for business
source: lep.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(58)
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
In its May 27th Democratic primary, Idaho voters will be able to choose between Obama, Clinton and Judd -- a federal prisoner who filled out a form and paid the required $1,000 to be on the ballot. Secretary of State: "We got conned"
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(139)
 
(KOTV)
 
 
 
Asking for a refund after waiting an hour at McDonald's drive-thru for your meal? That's a shootin'
source: newson6.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(147)
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
Not one person died of an airline accident in 2007. It's an entirely different kind of flying, altogether
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(131)
 
(Atlanta Journal Constitution)
 
 
 
Atlanta's reward for conserving water... a 15 percent increase in usage rates
source: ajc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(108)
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Level 4 shopkeeper armed with a long pole fights off a level 3 thief armed with a crossbow
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(83)
 
(AZCentral)
 
 
 
Survey: Mexicans paid $2.58 billion in bribes last year
source: azcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(77)
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
New website adds a new twist to online dating, by matching lawyers with potential litigants. It's SueEasy
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(20)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this levitating planet
source: familyfunshop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(64)
 
(Stars and Stripes)
 
 
 
Thirty-three percent of South Korean military cadets surveyed think their main enemy is North Korea; 34 percent think it's the U.S. Of course, it's the liberals' fault
source: stripes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(237)
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
The consensus is in: ABC just organized the worst, most pathetic, most embarrassing debate in the history of modern journalism
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(739)
 
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
God saved me, says river trip survivor. The other seven slipped through His fingers
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(222)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
French "aghast" that their language is surrendering to English. Americans too busy watching everything get translated into Spanish to gloat
source: ap.google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(169)
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Woman doesn't know what upsets her more -- that vandals defaced her car with spray paint, or the fact that they can't use punctuation properly (pic)
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(103)
 
(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 154: "Glass." Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
source: farktography.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(231)
 


Wed April 16, 2008
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
Tanker truck driver arrested for selling gasoline out of his truck for 2 bucks a gallon. And so it begins
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(105)
 
(Reno Gazette-Journal)
 
 
 
Drunk mom goes on drunken rampage after pre-school refuses to release daughter (with mugshot goodness)
source: rgj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(130)
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
High School drama department in trouble for performing "Vagina Monologues", can't get through first act without snickers and some guy in the back yelling PENIS
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(170)
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
Families given wrong dogs when they pick theirs up at the kennel. Neither party notice for weeks because both dogs want steak
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(52)
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Edward Lorenz, father of chaos theory, dead at age 90. A butterfly must have flapped its wings somewhere
source: uk.reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(78)
 
(The Star Online)
 
 
 
Dog's barking brings rescue crew to drowning woman. It was only when rescued that her faithful dog left her side and swam to safety. Your dog wants.... nevermind, I've got something in my eye
source: thestar.com.my   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(156)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Romanian man rears lion in garden until neighbors complain about the roaring
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(39)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Okay, we know the stork delivers baby humans so what delivers baby storks? Ugly assed saddle-billed stork hatched at the Toledo Zoo. W/ pic of said ugly assed baby stork
source: nbc24.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(26)
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
Neighbors top fake crime scene prank by planting 3,000 forks in their neighbor's lawn. It's not news, it's the AP
source: seattlepi.nwsource.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(62)
 
(Google)
 
 
 
TFer is having dinner and actor John Lithgow is right behind me at the bar. Gimme something funny to say to him (VE)
source: cliffhanger.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(281)
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Slate's William Saletan asks, "Is incest natural?" Presumably after slow-dancing with a hot cousin at a wedding
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(187)
 
(KTAR)
 
 
 
Teens look for instant fame on YouTube by trying to make a Mitsubishi Eclipse fly. You can see where this is headed
source: ktar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(115)
 
(ABC Action News)
 
 
 
Democratic debate thread, 8:00 p.m. Eastern. Take a drink every time Obama acts elitist or Hillary ducks sniper fire (LGT live webcast)
source: a.abclocal.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(1999)
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Student who asked John McCain during appearance on MSNBC's Hardball to "join him for a shot" was the son of FOX News anchor Steve Doocy. CNN kids reportedly feelin' left out
source: elections.foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(143)
 
(ABC)
 
 
 
Martha Stewart's dog, Paw Paw, has died. Will be gutted, stuffed with potpourri and used as a coffee-table conversation piece
source: abclocal.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(100)
 
(Google)
 
 
 
Photoshop: Wits End
source: images.google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(84)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Man caves. It's not news, it's CNN
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(373)
 
(Atlanta Journal Constitution)
 
 
 
Marijuana is not one of the 11 herbs and spices in the Colonel's "secret recipe"
source: ajc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(195)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Virginia Tech, one year later
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(311)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
We've replaced a regular Ahmadinejad thread with a 9/11 denier thread -- let's see if anyone notices
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(217)
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Man hopes to shake off charges that he murdered his girlfriend by saying he did it while having an epileptic seizure
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(124)
 
(Daily Herald)
 
 
 
Kentucky says that you can drink its whiskey all you want, but it draws the line at vaporizing it
source: dailyherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(225)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Man's new hobby: Hunting down new brides and making obscene calls to them after their wedding photographs appear in local newspapers
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(114)
 
(Chicago Breaking News)
 
 
 
Today's media-generated political outrage: Offended PA voter in Clinton commercial not actually a PA voter
source: weblogs.chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(324)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Teacher's compensation claim for disability discrimination is rejected because baldness is not a disability
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(116)
 
(Drinking Farkette)
 
 
 
Reminder: Dallas Fark cheap-beer gathering tonight at 6:00. LGT location
source: sterlingsbarandgrill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(142)
 
(SanDiegoUnionTribune)
 
 
 
San Diego City Council candidate mailed a campaign brochure referencing his penis and disputing the two-shake rule
source: signonsandiego.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(104)
 
(AZ)
 
 
 
Azerbaijanis upset after finding out the double meaning behind the name of the new English-style pub in their capital of Baku: "The Camel's Toe". With pub sign pic goodness
source: today.az   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(233)
 
(Miami Herald)
 
 
 
Man catches shark off the side of a Florida Keys highway causing major traffic jams and other assorted stupidity. But it was a lemon, so he sent it back
source: miamiherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(62)
 
(Exploding Unicorn)
 
 
 
Reporter's goodbye article: "In terms of the raw altruism required, working for a newspaper is kind of like doing a stint in the Peace Corps, only the hours are worse and everybody hates you"
source: explodingunicorn.blogspot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(92)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this freefly scene
source: zdi.it   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(66)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
The Marilyn Monroe sex tape was a hoax. As usual no one in MSM bothered to do any fact checking, got too excited at the prospect of talking about boobs on air
source: hollywood-elsewhere.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(186)
 
(Boston Herald)
 
 
 
It's still April, but the Mets have already begun their descent
source: bostonherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(65)
 
(London Times)
 
 
 
Villagers depicted in an advertisement for Guinness whooping with joy as a pint appears in their remote Remote Andean town depicted in expensive Guinness advertisement had never heard of the brand, actually prefer lager. (Edittor ist drunk)
source: timesonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(119)
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Do not touch the liquid hot magma. It can burn you
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(113)
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Thief steals rare coins during break-in, then attempts to deposit them at bank, where the guy he stole them from works as a teller. Awkward
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(30)
 
(Some Gal)
 
 
 
Police called to motel because guest "made claims that a midget was hiding in the curtains of his room trying to steal his money"
source: dailyrecord.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(66)
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
If there's one group of people you really don't want to shortchange, it's contract killers
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(42)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Tehran's police chief, charged with rooting out vice, discovered in a brothel. Claims the Grail-shaped beacon led him there
source: alarabiya.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(84)
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
If you're going to produce a nude MILF calendar for charity, make sure you have actual MILFs. Emphasis on the ILF, not the M
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(482)
 
(Lancashire Evening Post)
 
 
 
When you are drunk, speeding, in possession of drugs and have already been banned from driving 14 times, don't get in the way of a police car
source: lep.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(24)
 
(Seattle Times)
 
 
 
Every box of Thin Mints you enjoy helps destroy an orangutan's habitat. Mmmmmm, taste the minty destruction
source: seattletimes.nwsource.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(131)
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Sensing a huge untapped market on the heels of "Guitar Hero," video-game maker creates "Conductor Hero." Because the only thing cooler than playing fake guitar is pretending to conduct an orchestra
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(200)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Nashville, TN councilman proposes bill to exclude "beer cabarets" from sexually oriented business ordinances as long as genitals aren't "discernibly turgid"
source: nashvilleistalking.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(69)
 
(Sky.com)
 
 
 
Surgeons can now remove your appendix through your mouth. In related story, dentists announce that they can perform root canals through your ass
source: news.sky.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(77)
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Man celebrates his discharge from hospital by stealing an ambulance and leading police officers on a 100 mph car chase
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(18)
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
Boston realizes that naming every other street "Washington Street" can have a negative effect on police response time
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(135)
 
(Pravda)
 
 
 
Move over, Burj Dubai: Planet's highest building will be two miles tall
source: english.pravda.ru   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(263)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Man refuses to pay the Trolls at Delaware Memorial Bridge. The Trolls are not amused, fine him $30,000
source: wbal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(86)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Surprising absolutely no one, Harry Potter fan cries like a pansy while testifying during plagiarism trial
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(206)
 
(Sun Journal (Maine))
 
 
 
Woman sets up a flag maze on the floor of a student center to see who would walk around, or on top of, the flags. Hilarity ensues
source: sunjournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(208)
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
First clue to police that your story about your girlfriend who was killed during a botched robbery is a fake: Witnesses hear you yelling at the gunman to shoot you too to make it look good
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(33)
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
You win the lottery. Do you: A) Party? B) Call a financial planner? Or C) Use a marker to draw a goatee on your face to stay incognito, despite giving out your name, before a press conference to announce your good fortune?
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(90)
 
(GMANews)
 
 
 
Surgery 101: How do you remove a perfume canister stuck inside a man's ass? You do it while laughing boisterously, videotaping it, and uploading it later on YouTube
source: gmanews.tv   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(142)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
If you must rob a home, make sure it's not one owned by a world-ranked kickboxer first
source: expressandstar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(68)
 
(Daily Record (UK))
 
 
 
Bad: You fall 25 feet down a lift shaft. Good: Your fall is broken by something soft. Bad: It's the unconscious body of the woman who fell down the same shaft the day before
source: dailyrecord.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(79)
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
Two men attempt to rob a bank armed with a carpenter's level and a coonskin cap
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(25)
 
(CBS13.com - CBS Sacramento)
 
 
 
Headline: Husband clings to hood as wife speeds down I-80. "I would categorize this as a very unique case of domestic violence"
source: cbs13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(79)
 
(This Is Local London)
 
 
 
London police believe that putting clergymen on buses will prevent unruly behaviour from teenagers
source: thisislocallondon.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(47)
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Plane crashes in Congolese neighborhood, killing dozens of multi-millionaires and stranding their unclaimed fortunes in African bank accounts
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(63)
 
(Lancashire Evening Post)
 
 
 
Here's a first for firefighters -- a call to rescue a teenager stuck in a baby swing
source: lep.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(35)
 
(Baltimore Sun)
 
 
 
Lady, 65, fenders off carjacker, knocking him in the fuzzy dice
source: baltimoresun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(23)
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Caught in a tragic vortex of 80s dance lingo and concrete thinking, man raises the roof of his house with explosives
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(28)
 
(Loss of Limbic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this brain scan of a meth addict
source: loni.ucla.edu   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(71)
 
(The Citizen)
 
 
 
Doctor: "I check their underpants to ensure there is only one penis"
source: thelocal.se   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(39)
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Some are not amused by a new t-shirt that reads, "Diana's dead -- so get over it"
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(133)
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
Hooters girl arrested after spitball fight. How many spitballs? More than a mouthful. (With mugshot goodness)
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(101)
 
(KEYEtv.com - CBS Austin)
 
 
 
If you have cancer, MS, or other horrific diseases, your copay may increase from $20 to $4000. And no, you may not switch plans till you're up for renewal. Maybe you shouldn't've gotten cancer, hmm?
source: keyetv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(200)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
U-FAIL
source: wflxfox29.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(66)
 
(Chron)
 
 
 
Guy puts a six-foot alligator in the back seat of his Buick Regal. Then it gets weird
source: chron.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(38)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Two months, one teacher, two different sex arrests. In Florida, they try harder. (With "you would do it too" mugshot)
source: 970wfla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(145)
 
(CBS13.com - CBS Sacramento)
 
 
 
Good: Army brings sole surviving brother home after siblings are killed. Bad: And then cut off his benefits for being discharged early. Worse: Including benefits for his pregnant wife
source: cbs13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(154)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Teh editors at The Daily Mail don't know how to spell teh (pic caption)
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(47)
 


Tue April 15, 2008
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Tips on driving in Beijing during Olympics. Tip #1: Don't
source: features.us.reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(149)
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
Commissioner and teacher nabbed in Sears bathroom sex sting. Accused say they were checking out "the harder side of Sears"
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(80)
 
(PhysOrg.com)
 
 
 
NASA: Apophis asteroid has a 1 in 45,000 chance of hitting Earth. 13 year old kid: Not so fast, it's actually 1 in 450 and if it hits a satellite in 2029, we could all die in 2036
source: physorg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(548)
 
(ABC)
 
 
 
The latest fear-mongering article from the MSM: plastic bottles could be harming your baby. EVERYBODY PANIC
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(86)
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Quebecor CEO argues deregulation will save Canada's TV industry. Yes, that's just what Canada needs -- MORE Ted McGinley
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(72)
 
(KJRH)
 
 
 
Large barges budge bridge. Tugboat tugs boats. OK DoT does tests, dotes it "Ok."
source: kjrh.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(65)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
"This is Captain Obvious speaking on behalf of American Northwest Continental Southwest Delta United Airlines. I hope you enjoy the two-foot wide seat you paid $1,000 for. We'll be arriving in Cleveland whenever we feel like it."
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(136)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
China follows up its demand for an apology from CNN by saying Nancy Pelosi is "disgusting." Even a broken clock is right twice a day
source: mcclatchydc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(183)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop a better prize for this claw machine player
source: img.photobucket.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(68)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Today's must have cute-ass pet is the $400 African pygmy hedgehog, which communicates using spine language and only eats prickled onions (with ugly-ass pic)
source: mailonsunday.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(103)
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
Boston's MBTA launches subway sexual harassment campaign with sexy slogan "Rub against me and I'll expose you"
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(71)
 
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
Just when you thought banks in Florida have been robbed every imaginable way, here comes a woman cloaked in white with a Mountain Dew bottle, smelling of gasoline
source: orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(31)
 
(Austin News KXAN)
 
 
 
Answering a call in school from your father deployed in Iraq? That's a suspension
source: kxan.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(409)
 
(News & Advance)
 
 
 
Not news: Birds inside a Wal-Mart. News: Store shuts down to hunt them with air rifles. Fark: Cops think it's a hostage situation and barricade the store
source: newsadvance.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(99)
 
(Detroit News)
 
 
 
If you've been turned down for a job recently, how did you cope? If you said vandalism while cross-dressing, you're not alone
source: detnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(46)
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
State pushes 300 percent cigarette tax increase for "health reasons." And, well, yeah, the fact that they're projected to be $3 billion in the red might have something to do with it as well
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(253)
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
SCOTUS to consider whether the death penalty is appropriate for therapists and if the penis mightier
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(301)
 
(Dayton Daily News)
 
 
 
♫ Filling the pews in church today is harder than it's been / Sermons with bread and wine are fine, but that won't bring folks in / Wouldn't you like to get away? / Sometimes you wanna go where everybody knows your name ♫
source: daytondailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(101)
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Jackie Chan has a special message for any protestors planning to try and grab the Olympic torch from him
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(328)
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Quebec City, still not thawed out after its worst winter ever, asks its confused residents to please stop watering the snow
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(142)
 
(Wired)
 
 
 
Victory in our time: Flickr concedes the free doughnut issue. Don't miss out on your chance to partake in sweet, sugary justice
source: blog.wired.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(83)
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Latest in home upgrades: Backyard toxic-waste pits
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(30)
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Healthcare system unprepared for aging Boomers, proving once again that this entire generation is creating an unnecessary, unwanted burden on the country
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(298)
 
(Some Gold Rick Roll)
 
 
 
Rick Astley would - (a) never give you up (b) never let you down (c) give away a gold record for a contest
source: rickastley.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(286)
 
(ABC)
 
 
 
Common tater excited as "wheat and rice prices surge." That has got tuber the worst pun ever
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(105)
 
(Pittsburgh Post Gazette)
 
 
 
Meteorite may have destroyed block of buildings in Pittsburgh. Country mourns that the meteor wasn't 100 times bigger and didn't land 300 miles further east
source: post-gazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(157)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Pope vows to bar pedophiles from the church, but says it's going to be hard to have a church with no priests
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(306)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
China resents being called a bunch of goons, threatens to ship more poison dog food and toxic toys if CNN doesn't apologize
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(152)
 
(Some Church sign blog)
 
 
 
"Stop, drop, and roll doesn't work in hell," and other fine examples of crummy church signs
source: crummychurchsigns.blogspot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(281)
 
(NewsMax)
 
 
 
Israel's National Infrastructure Minister warns U.S. attack on Iran "not only on the table -- but likely"
source: newsmax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(987)
 
(thedailywtf)
 
 
 
There was a problem with Oklahoma's sexual and violent offender registry. A) Every offender's SSN was available, and B) with a basic knowledge of SQL, anyone could add records
source: thedailywtf.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(158)
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
American athletes "mixed" on role of protest in Beijing Olympics. Definition of mixed: "I think it's all right if my Olympic glory is overshadowed by people getting shot"
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(107)
 
(MJ Perry)
 
 
 
In real terms, gas prices have gone up a lot slower than the price of a college education
source: mjperry.blogspot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(173)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Milwaukee police obtain video of grocery store shootout. Includes several people who continue to shop during shootout (with link to video)
source: todaystmj4.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(107)
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Tag has been banned. The tag terrorists have won
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(280)
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
A recent poll about Bush's economic stimulus package, which depends on people spending their tax rebates, shows only 21 percent of respondents plan to spend their rebate
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(444)
 
(Boortz)
 
 
 
It's Tax Day and here's some fun hints on how to fark with your co-workers today
source: boortz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(200)
 
(Billings Gazette)
 
 
 
Police arrest man, yet all he did was ask the front desk for help to get back into his hotel room. Well, technically he was climbing over the counter, armed and naked, but still
source: billingsgazette.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(27)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
BBC journalist says, in the future, he'll never get with a hot sex-bot, no matter how attractive they are because they just won't be philosophical enough for him
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(130)
 
(Oregon Live)
 
 
 
Oregon man thinks his dog is an impostor
source: oregonlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(87)
 
(CBC)
 
NewsFlash
 
Mounties raid Conservative party headquarters searching for evidence of illegal election spending, Snidely Whiplash
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(172)
 
(Scotsman)
 
 
 
If you are going to rob a post office, make sure it's not one owned by members of your own family. They might be able to identify you
source: news.scotsman.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(28)
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Man claims that he's "grateful" that his friend shot him while he was being attacked by a crocodile
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(37)
 
(Scotsman)
 
 
 
Plumber jailed for crack
source: news.scotsman.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(22)
 
(Google)
 
 
 
Photoshop theme: Error messages found in the real world
source: images.google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(125)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
The top 10 shirts to get arrested in
source: top10kid.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(119)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Despite a strong performance by Texas, the U.S. only manages to place fifth in world executions
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(217)
 
(Chron)
 
 
 
Inferior rivets found to be top suspect in demise of Titanic, followed closely by overbearing weight of treacly love stories
source: chron.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(156)
 
(Chronicle Telegram)
 
 
 
"Hey let's play Russian Roulette with this gun." "Are all of the bullets out?" "I think so"
source: chroniclet.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(147)
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Satellite locates Iranian missile site. Right next to Iraq's WMDs. Photos also reveal Amelia Erhardt , Al Capone, Jimmy Hoffa, Sasquatch
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(303)
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
What exactly goes through the mind of someone who decides that the best place for a grenade they've just found is on a fire? Shrapnel, presumably
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(52)
 
(This Is Local London)
 
 
 
Man doesn't want to draw attention to his £180,000 heirloom violin, casually puts it in the overhead luggage rack on the train, which was very clever up until the point where he got off the train without it
source: thisislondon.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(43)
 
(Fayetteville Observer)
 
 
 
Salesman who was waterboarded by his boss regrets volunteering for the team-building exercise. "Keep in mind, the last time we did a team-building exercise outside, we did an egg toss"
source: fayobserver.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(107)
 
(My Fox DC)
 
 
 
The papal visit will mark the first time the words "Holy Christ" and "Mother Of God" will be spoken inside Washington Nationals' stadium when the team isn't down by five runs
source: myfoxdc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(126)
 
(China Post)
 
 
 
Housewife believes that her husband is unfaithful. Does she: A) Have him followed? B) Follow him herself? Or C) Chop off his penis while he sleeps? Take your time, and try to ignore that screaming
source: chinapost.com.tw   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(122)
 
(KITV 4)
 
 
 
Bank robber dismayed to find out that he can't rob the bank because he didn't have his ID with him
source: kitv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(22)
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Australian police officers learn important lesson in why suspects should be handcuffed BEHIND their backs before being shoved into vehicles
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(31)
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
"I'm going to try a canine mind meld, a rare power possessed only by me and three clerks in a pet store in Springfield"
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(41)
 
(Taunton Gazette)
 
 
 
The first rule of Stolen Gun Club is don't shoot yourself in the thigh while arguing with your drunk brother who's slapping his girlfriend while she's trying to drive the car after you've shot out the rear window
source: tauntongazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(53)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Man charged with drilling a hole in wall of golf range bathroom and videotaping customers gets off. Also, his case is dismissed
source: kitsapsun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(49)
 
(Brownsville Herald)
 
 
 
Back of completed food-stamp application not the best place to write bank hold-up note
source: brownsvilleherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(31)
 
(NW Florida Daily News)
 
 
 
Couple trade their truck for crack, then call police to report it stolen. Cunning plan: Not thought through
source: nwfdailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(21)
 
(Some Southern Illinois Guy)
 
 
 
Apparently the prize for not bothering to check to see if you're taking the wrong baby home from the hospital is $50,000
source: southernillinoisan.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(68)
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Finding dead frogs in your foodstuffs is sooo last year. Now consumers expect them to be alive
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(33)
 
(Japan Today)
 
 
 
Inmate explains why he attacked a cop right after being released from jail: "I didn't have any money at all. I needed a gun"
source: japantoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(37)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Eight out of 10 Arabs have an unfavorable view of the U.S., prefer the taste of Pepsi over Coke
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(195)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Man loses 140 pounds eating SIX cans of baked beans per day. We'll have to take his word for it as no one can get close enough to weigh him
source: thatsfit.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(70)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this fence shadow
source: i39.photobucket.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(49)
 
(Wordpress)
 
 
 
Madness: Trapped in Elevator Car 30. A man was trapped for 41 hours: Lost his job, apartment and is currently unemployed. The time-lapse elevator video is included
source: disembedded.wordpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(156)
 
(CBS2.com - KCBS Los Angeles)
 
 
 
When asked how she felt, plane crash survivor Regina Hosley said, "Like I got hit by an airplane"
source: cbs2.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(29)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
China surpasses the U.S. as the world's top carbon producer, making the problem real to conservatives and no longer interesting to liberals
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(148)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Wal-Mart to begin filming gun sales in an effort to fight crime, because not selling murder weapons in an effort to fight crime makes too much sense
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(462)
 


Mon April 14, 2008
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Guy steals car left running in driveway, takes it around corner and parks it in another driveway. He goes back to tell the owner he stole it and to follow him to the car. Then it gets weird
source: thewhig.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(58)
 
(Local6)
 
 
 
Jesus has made so many appearances, so why not in a hospital window?
source: local6.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(85)
 
(London Times)
 
 
 
Mole man to pay £300,000 in damages caused by 40 years' worth of tunnelling under his London house. No word on the fate of his giant bird seed bell
source: timesonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(65)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Church of Scientology to Wikileaks: "take down our secret documents or else." Wikileaks: "In response to your attempted suppression, we will be releasing several thousand additional pages of Scientology material next week"
source: