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Sun January 13, 2008
Source     Fark Headline Comments
(UPI)
 
 
 
How to drink yourself into a round-trip flight from New York
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(26)
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Man may lose his arm after it was hit by a ute as he waved at two girls from a car window
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(108)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Porn filmmakers to combat internet piracy. From article: "After watching two or three minutes of hard-core sex, you're not going to go and buy the full movie"
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(196)
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Stop swimming - Hammerhead time
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(44)
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Bank robber disguises himself with drywall compound. Must've been plastered to try this
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(52)
 
(Albany Times Union)
 
 
 
Names in national steroids investigation include 50 Cent*, Mary J. Blige*, Timbaland* and Wyclef Jean*. Wait, what?
source: timesunion.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(110)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Hazmat evacuates family from apartment as children suffer mercury poisoning from toy. What was the toy? C) A jar of mercury
source: thecalifornian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(147)
 
(hfxnews.ca)
 
 
 
Nursing home patient dies after smoking outside. "They had a smoking room and he was banned from the smoking room because he smoked too much"
source: hfxnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(180)
 
(bloomberg)
 
 
 
Noooo! They be stealin' mah top grossin spot
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(59)
 
(Star-Telegram)
 
 
 
Early frontrunner for "Father of the Year" award rapes son as punishment for raping daughter
source: star-telegram.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(398)
 
(hampton roads)
 
 
 
Man, previously at 415 lb., in a "world of Oreos, fried pork chops, deep despair and self-loathing" becomes a lean, vegetable-eating personal trainer
source: hamptonroads.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(100)
 
(NewsAdvance.com)
 
 
 
If you're a 60-year-old man and your 27-year-old female coworker dresses you in her underwear and then ties you to a chair, you're about to be farked
source: newsadvance.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(76)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
BBC correspondent discovers America's love affair with bacon: "It has become a kind of porcine salad vegetable. Occasionally it even comes ground up and sprinkled over your dinner like a kind of dark, meaty snow"
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(188)
 
(Toronto Star)
 
 
 
Meat haters invent vegetarian haggis. That's just offal
source: thestar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(114)
 
(Descartes)
 
 
 
Altered states of consciousness...without drugs
source: ifyouwriteit.blogspot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(86)
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Ninety-five percent of PCs are vulnerable to attack by hackers due to unpatched software, says a company that sells software to protect PCs against attacks by hackers
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(134)
 
(Chicago Breaking News)
 
 
 
No matter how many times we say it, it seems necessary to repeat it one more time: Do not break traffic laws when transporting $300,000 worth of marijuana
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(100)
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Not news: Man breaks into house. News: Man is wearing spike-covered body suit, boots, and gloves. Fark: House owner calls 911, dispatcher asks to speak to intruder
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(79)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
New report says prisoners should be given conjugal visits while behind bars. After viewing the related pic, submitter thinks that would be cruel and unusual punishment
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(43)
 
(Seattle Times)
 
 
 
Guys' night out and mancations becoming increasingly popular with young men. "We like to think of it as a 19th-century intellectual salon"
source: seattletimes.nwsource.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(106)
 
(Miami Herald)
 
 
 
Bride-to-be sends out e-mail: "Today's wedding is off". A few hours later sends out email: "The wedding is at 7pm". A few more hours later, she gets stood up at the altar
source: miamiherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(135)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop these inline skaters
source: img168.imageshack.us   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(36)
 
(TED.com)
 
Video
 
The most amazing video of an octopus disguising itself as algae that you will see today, and perhaps ever. (Octopus scene is at 4:15, but the first four minutes are cool, too.)
source: ted.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(126)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Article about the Snorg Tees girl on the right hand side of the page that you've been fappi... er.... dreaming about
source: pensacolanewsjournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(411)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Old & Busted: Video games are immoral because they're violent. New Obviousness: Video games are immoral because there are no consequences
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(190)
 
(TED)
 
 
 
Watch an explorer rappel with a rope in a waterfalls several miles underground, develop equipment for NASA to explore the underground ocean of Europa, and talk about his plans to mine water for fuel on the Moon
source: scienceblogs.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(68)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
YMCA tackles America's health crisis. All together now... ♫ It's fun to stay at the Y M C A ♫ It's fun to stay at the Y M C A ♫
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(43)
 
(The Register)
 
 
 
British government rejects online petition calling for pet shops to be allowed to sell elephants
source: theregister.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(55)
 
(Murfreesboro Post)
 
 
 
If you're dumb enough to pass out around guys that will draw a penis on your face with a marker, don't make it worse by threatening them with your tiny pocketknife blade. Because if the police get involved, you'll make the news
source: murfreesboropost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(110)
 
(San Francisco 49ers)
 
 
 
It's been almost three weeks and the Griswolds still won't take down their Christmas decorations
source: hamptonroads.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(103)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Switzerland's famed Alpine ski resorts facing yet another winter of warm weather and decreased business. Al Gore busy water-skiing
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(148)
 
(Herald Tribune (SW Florida))
 
 
 
Post-War Stress, the Afghanistan/Iraq version: "Matthew knew he shouldn't be taking his AK-47 to the 7-Eleven," police say of traumatized vet
source: heraldtribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(221)
 
(Time)
 
 
 
Old & Busted: mp3s, iPods, etc. New Hotness: Vinyl records are now making a comeback
source: time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(320)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Nineteen Bald Eagles eat themselves to death. Way to set an example for the country you represent, guys. Oh, wait
source: news.aol.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(123)
 
(Kansas.com)
 
 
 
"The F-word isn't what it used to be, it doesn't have a sexual connotation anymore and so can't be considered obscene"
source: kansas.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(161)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Man dies going down an escalator the fast way
source: edition.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(72)
 
(Some Stressed Guy)
 
 
 
Sergeant First Class Boe wants to lick your face
source: mnf-iraq.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(40)
 
(Drew)
 
 
 
Caturday thread had technical difficulties. Click for more info
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(378)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop these soccer players
source: i41.photobucket.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(44)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
President at prestigious Atlanta prep school was good at jumping off the eighth floor, not so good at landing
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(45)
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Sociologist studying drug gangs actually goes out and infiltrates one, instead of just sitting on his butt in the library. Ph.D. stands for Pretty Heroic, Dude
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(161)
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Kayakers "shagged and buggered" after 62 days at sea, weren't even in Royal Navy
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(27)
 
(ninemsn.com.au)
 
 
 
Teenage genius who invited 500 other teens to a party at his house while his folks are in China doesn't believe his parents will find out (with video), despite involvement of extra police, the air wing, and the dog squad
source: news.ninemsn.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(80)
 
(Asia Times)
 
 
 
Pyramid scheme suckered more than a million investors who bought a $1,300 box of ants, which they were then required to provide with food and water until death
source: atimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(54)
 
(San Bernardino Sun)
 
 
 
Woman evicted from historic home after investigators say she was tearing off fixtures to sell on Craigslist
source: sbsun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(55)
 
(Rian.Ru)
 
 
 
History professor at Genghis Khan University claims Mongolians discovered America. Also, there's a Genghis Khan University
source: en.rian.ru   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(81)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Britney to marry her paparazzo boyfriend in Scientology ceremony; "Having a Scientology wedding is her way of giving her family a one-finger salute"
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(131)
 
(Scotsman)
 
 
 
Scottish police hailed as "best gay employer." Inspector Phil MacCracken beams with pride
source: news.scotsman.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(37)
 
(ABC)
 
 
 
Argentinians don't handle flight delays as well as other countries' citizens
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(38)
 
(news4jax.com)
 
 
 
"I just took the lunchbox and just clocked him with it, and off he ran"
source: news4jax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(22)
 
(Mainichi Daily News)
 
 
 
Fish forced to drink like... um... something that drinks a lot
source: mdn.mainichi.jp   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(23)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
The £inal Harr¥ Potter movie will b€ released in two part$
source: mailonsunday.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(168)
 
(AZCentral)
 
 
 
Man tries to kill himself by eating castor beans
source: azcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(58)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Super diet pill invented which allows you to safely eat more meat and fried food, and may also reduce the risk of cancer. In other news, bacon prices expected to hit $100 per pound
source: mailonsunday.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(55)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
O Lord, bless this thy holy sand, that with it thou mayest let me get through airport security with €105,000 of coke, in thy mercy
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(38)
 
(NBC 15)
 
 
 
It is a Facepalm-Off: Woman leaves keys in car that gets stolen vs. thief who takes pictures of himself in said car, abandons it and leaves the camera behind. Shake hands and go to your corners
source: nbc15online.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(34)
 
(Mainichi Daily News)
 
 
 
Teacher slaps whole class of elementary school students in face. All of them
source: mdn.mainichi.jp   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(102)
 
(IOL.co.za)
 
 
 
Can dogs be bilingual? Uw hond wil lapje vlees
source: int.iol.co.za   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(75)
 


Sat January 12, 2008
(LA Times)
 
 
 
"Rising star in the world of scrapbooking" has entry removed from scrapbooking Hall of Fame after it was discovered she used someone else's photo. In other news, you don't take your hobby seriously enough
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(170)
 
(IOL.co.za)
 
 
 
89-year-old man killed by exploding Christmas tree; should have cut green wire, not red one
source: int.iol.co.za   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(70)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
The American Dream has been created, and it's a motorized refrigerator. "It combines two basic necessities of life - somewhere to have cold food or a beverage handy, and the ability to get somewhere without walking."
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(41)
 
(CBS13.com - CBS Sacramento)
 
 
 
I came for the $3.99 Triple Play, stayed for the bottomless coffee, and left for the shrapnel in my ass
source: cbs13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(34)
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Shark's virgin birth brings aquarium visitors, myrrh
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(115)
 
(WATE-TV)
 
 
 
True, it's not easy to enjoy your breakfast at Waffle House with a grenade in your pocket, but setting it on the table tends to alarm people
source: wate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(46)
 
(Poughkeepsie Journal)
 
 
 
Mom arrested for putting 7-year-old into oven as punishment for losing cell phone. Boy said to be fine, a little on the rare side
source: poughkeepsiejournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(111)
 
(Cleveland Plain Dealer)
 
 
 
"If you bring in a military force, you better have a relationship with the community." Baghdad? Nope... Cleveland
source: cleveland.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(95)
 
(Keep Portland Weird!)
 
 
 
Bless you, PDX. Pants. Off. Now
source: wweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(128)
 
(LBC 97.3)
 
 
 
Here's to you, Mr. "I'm gonna wear my Real Man Of Genius t-shirt while getting arrested for having sex with underage girls that I met on Myspace" guy
source: tampabays10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(177)
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Arrests made in Sardinia as people packed into the capital to protest fishy waste dumping incident
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(37)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Five-year old girl finds condom in her pick 'n' mix candy, which was likely a combination of Gobstoppers, Whoppers malted milk balls, Pop Rocks, Goo Goo Clusters, Blow Pops, and Lik-m-Aid Fun Dip
source: greenocktelegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(63)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Prisoner is able to smuggle syringes, matches, lighter, heroin, marijuana and an assortment of pills into jail. Where did he hide it all? Let's just say it damn near killed him
source: kvoa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(66)
 
(Chicago Sun-Times)
 
 
 
Obama's left wing causes damage in Chicago
source: suntimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(108)
 
(Central Florida News 13)
 
 
 
Sea World Orlando is in a whale of trouble. Salt water leaking into groundwater said to be accidental and not on porpoise
source: cfnews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(38)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Meth making family arrested, meth baby in protective custody. Unfortunately it's too late to use the family mugshot portrait for the Christmas card
source: wjbf.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(91)
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Austrian homeless man who feigned illness over 100 times to get free room and board in hospitals; now expected to get extra helpings of Vienna sausage in prison
source: guardian.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(68)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Prison vans will cruise the streets of Britain, snapping up illegal aliens, because police are too busy. Way to cut out the middleman, lads. Good thing you don't have a pesky constitution to worry about
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(239)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Born Free *sniff*
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(92)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop these 'nanners
source: photoshare.ru   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(59)
 
(KC Star)
 
 
 
News: Missouri to eradicate sales tax. Fark: On bowling balls. This ain't 'Nam, this is bowling. There are rules
source: primebuzz.kcstar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(113)
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
Animator vs. Animation II: The Chosen One
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(42)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
College student expelled for opposing new campus parking garages
source: insidehighered.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(208)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Remember that Gizmodo employee that thought it was so funny to screw up presentations at CES by turning off TVs? Ya he's been banned for life and more sanctions are in discussion for Gizmodo/Gawker
source: news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(307)
 
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
High school girl gets detention for wearing sweatpants with "Playboy" on them. Giggity
source: orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(108)
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Cleveland sues banks involved in subprime loans. Nobody taking lawsuit seriously because legal action of this nature is generally thrown out of court . . . and besides, it's farking Cleveland
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(80)
 
(Some Chicken Lover)
 
 
 
PETA's poultry poetry, placed in perpetuity, provokes predictable pandemonium, protest from proprietors
source: wlky.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(182)
 
(Slashdot)
 
 
 
Scientists develop "Cone of Silence" to hide submarines in ocean, cloak shoe phone conversations. Duke sucks
source: science.slashdot.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(71)
 
(Some Crotchfruit Lover)
 
 
 
Courtney Thorne-Smith gives birth to healthy baby boy, Jacob "Jake" Emerson Fishman, and the lucky sod is being breastfed. Celebrity crotchfruit trifecta complete
source: allheadlinenews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(104)
 
(themaineedge.com)
 
 
 
"A man who had a swastika tattooed on his forehead never said why he wanted it removed. I think the decision spoke for itself." You know who else liked tattoos?
source: themaineedge.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(92)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Heroic doc saves wife and six kids from fire that "ravaged" their home, then delivered a baby while the house was still smoldering. His thank you? He gets cited with building violations (tag for city)
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(49)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
From the Ric Romero School of Journalism: Having children can impact your friendships. In other news, water is wet, fire can burn, and no number of iPhones will get you laid
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(61)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Colombia attracted record tourism this past year. Yes, THAT Colombia. "Hey kids, want to go see real life drug lords for vacation?" "YEAH!"
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(90)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Protesters outside of Supreme Court wearing prison garb calling for the shutdown of Guantanamo Bay get arrested for violating protesting ordinance and could face jail time
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(199)
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Economists claim UK standard of living higher than US because Americans seen as "fashionless, dull, and with bad hair."
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(146)
 
(1010WINS)
 
 
 
Guy who got on a commuter train is zapped with 11,000 volts. Next time he'll get in the train
source: 1010wins.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(35)
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
News: Australian wins bronze medal in Olympic tennis tournament. Fark: Player has been dead for 72 years and never won a single tennis match
source: theaustralian.news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(18)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Scouts will soon be able to earn merit badges for skateboarding, racing quad bikes, and making fruit salad
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(56)
 
(WAVY10)
 
 
 
Not news: Man gets a moving violation for reckless driving. Dumb: Virginia abusive driver fees kick in, to the tune of $1050. Fark: The man was riding a bicycle
source: wavy.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(135)
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
"The perception on and off Wall Street is that the newspaper business is in big trouble as readers flee to the Internet, and things will only get worse this year as the real estate and financial industries slash spending on ads"
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(49)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Caption O.J., the Attorney Whisperer
source: koat.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(95)
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
The Sun is the world's greatest paper, says The Sun. The Sun is there
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(26)
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Cat rescued after wandering for days with its head stuck in a glass jar (w/before and after pics)
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(344)
 
(SunJournal.com)
 
 
 
The helium supply is deflating. Prices are ballooning out of control. If the bad puns aren't enough, then how about a quote from a clown?
source: sunjournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(45)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this unintentional clock face
source: jj.am   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(64)
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Airline passengers who had sex in midair fined £500 each for "outraging public decency". When you see the photo of them, you'll agree they got off lightly
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(54)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Two stabbed at Cut Mart
source: kfvs12.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(25)
 
(ABC)
 
 
 
Stroke your moustache and turn on the Romero signal: Hot Chocolate tastes better if you add milk instead of water. Thanks, Ric
source: abclocal.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(96)
 
(AZCentral)
 
 
 
Slowing down to stare at traffic accidents can really irritate other drivers you hold up and the police officers you run over
source: azcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(35)
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Man successfully challenges a breathalyzer test in court, saying he is too "cheap" to buy enough drinks to be impaired
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(35)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Gang killings drop sharply in L.A., proving the surge must be working
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(42)
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Viagra, alcohol, porn movies, heroin, cocaine and cannabis smuggled into jail for parties in latest proof that even convicts are having more fun on weekends than you
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(37)
 
(The Age)
 
 
 
The bastards in Australia have decided that the bastard cricket team can call the bastard Indian cricket team bastards, what a bunch of bastards
source: theage.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(80)
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Britain's first all-male lap dancing club goes out of business less than a year after it opened after customers couldn't get their enthusiasm for it up and business proved flaccid
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(27)
 
(click2houston.com)
 
 
 
Texan teacher provides beer to students, news provides scary mugshot to public
source: click2houston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(42)
 
(Atlanta Journal Constitution)
 
 
 
Man sues Cryolife for $110 million, claims they provided contaminated cadaver material for operation that left him maimed for life. Dr. Frankenstein unavailable for comment
source: ajc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(48)
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
N.J. has highest percentage of millionaires in country. Most of them made their money in "waste management", if you know what I mean
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(59)
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Well-known bridge named after a Kennedy. No, not that bridge
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(52)
 
(People)
 
 
 
Congratulations to Nicole Richie and boyfriend Joel Madden, proud parents of baby girl Harlow Winter Kate Madden who weighed in at 6 lbs., 7 oz., or 1.3 lbs. more than her mother
source: people.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(76)
 
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
Dirty hippies from Greenpeace are in hot pursuit of the Japanese whaling fleet, thereby denying submitter his yearly bacon, lettuce, and whale sammich
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(109)
 
(Flickr)
 
 
 
Photoshop this armada
source: flickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(28)
 


Fri January 11, 2008
(Globe and Mail)
 
 
 
Air Canada flight experiences violent turbulence, ten people hospitalized. Quote one passenger: "Enough is enough. I've had it with these motherfarking shakes on this motherfarking plane."
source: theglobeandmail.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(83)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Some bank robber with balls of steal has actually thought their cunning plan all the way through
source: nbc4.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(189)
 
(WINK News)
 
 
 
When in court on drug charges, it's best not to pull a baggie with crack cocaine and $4,000 cash out of your pocket
source: winknews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(15)
 
(Politicker NJ)
 
 
 
Raise up your 2,000-calorie hamburgers, Farkers. Carl's Jr. founder dies at age 90
source: knbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(112)
 
(WCBStv.com)
 
 
 
Women who wear too much perfume could be depressed, whores
source: wcbstv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(133)
 
(Detroit News)
 
 
 
Not news: High school student shot accidentally. News: It happened when he was still in class. Detroit: He didn't realize he'd been shot until he got home
source: detnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(114)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Mother of 13 kids gets her size 6 figure back just five days after giving birth. Go share this link with your wife - she'll think it's inspirational (pic)
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(327)
 
(ABC)
 
 
 
Mauritanians arrested in tourist deaths. Marvin the Mauritanian also suspected of building a uranium PU-36 explosive space modulator
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(50)
 
(Canada.com)
 
 
 
One of the 80 rules for ordering at Tim Hortons is "When you want a coffee with no sugar, do not say no sugar"
source: canada.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(375)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Because of increased security in Iraq, guys can get on their motorcycles and act like douchebags. It's not news, it's CNN
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(66)
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Pat Robertson may bid for Norfolk newspaper. Will rename it Virginian God-is-my Pilot
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(46)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
8th grade science teacher has a contest in class to see who can chug a gallon of milk in an hour. To "demonstrate homeostasis" [video goodness]
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(141)
 
(WJZ.com)
 
 
 
How do you find a stolen ambulance? Try following the sirens
source: wjz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(24)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this tin can
source: unitypro.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(69)
 
(LBC 97.3)
 
 
 
Fark's favorite state has a new theme song, "Florida, Where the Sawgrass Meets the Sky", beats out others such as "Florida, Where Debra Lafave is From", and "Florida, Where crazy people come to be normal"
source: tampabays10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(29)
 
(Lexington Herald Leader)
 
 
 
Free HBO, AC, Swimming Pool, Meth Lab... wait what? With eye bleaching mugshot goodness
source: kentucky.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(44)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Five things airlines won't tell you about their food. Disclosing Iams as the distributor not on the list
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(101)
 
(Breitbart.com)
 
 
 
Dubya's solution to everything: bomb it
source: breitbart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(304)
 
(SanDiegoUnionTribune)
 
 
 
News: Lawyers for sheriff's deputy who shot his wife in the jaw, killing her in front of their son wants judge removed because he is being too hard on their client. Fark: The prosecution team agrees
source: signonsandiego.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(42)
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Flasher in minivan drives away after two young girls scream, point, and laugh
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(65)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
In case you hadn't noticed, what with Britney Spears and the writer's strike and stuff, the world is running out of food EVERYBODY PANIC
source: ft.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(137)
 
(Newsday)
 
 
 
If you're a FedEx employee and you decide to steal some laptop computers, it's probably not the best idea to reroute to your own home address
source: newsday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(29)
 
(Venice Gondolier)
 
 
 
Police investigation reveals that yes, the five-year old shouldn't have been wandering around the police gun range, but he wouldn't have been shot in the first place if the cop hadn't been cleaning a loaded gun
source: venicegondolier.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(60)
 
(Sydney Morning Herald)
 
 
 
Israel tells court its hiding settlement facts to protect their image, argues that forced transfers doesn't refer to Palestinians. Because Israel's problems are a matter of better propaganda, and not one of an underlying unjust situation
source: smh.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(263)
 
(Newsday)
 
 
 
Jury to decide if man seeking $25M was traumatized by a hangman's noose at Brookhaven National Laboratory or if he's just being a paranoid money-seeking Tardd
source: newsday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(43)
 
(CityTV)
 
 
 
Canada Post employee delegated writing letters from Santa to local teens with predictable results. At least Santa likes your mom though
source: citynews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(50)
 
(Rian.Ru)
 
 
 
Man dies from heating his bed with iron. Wonder Fe knew how dangerous that was?
source: en.rian.ru   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(137)
 
(AutoExpress (UK))
 
 
 
One-legged man in N.Y. anti-smoking ads still smoking, entering ass-kicking contests
source: wnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(94)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Company invents special 'smoking mittens' so people can puff even in the depths of winter without exposing their hands to the cold (pics)
source: mailonsunday.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(159)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Having solved all other problems, the German federal prosecutor's office overturned the conviction of a Dutch communist executed over the 1933 Reichstag fire. Quick work, boys, thanks for persevering
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(57)
 
(Billings Gazette)
 
 
 
Small-town pissing matches are oddly funny
source: billingsgazette.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(73)
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Snowing in Baghdad? EVERYBODY PANIC
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(139)
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
The Juice Not So Loose
source: housley.blogs.foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(97)
 
(Pensito Review)
 
 
 
Poll: God relegates Huckabee to second place in latest Fox South Carolina survey
source: pensitoreview.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(172)
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
TV morning shows fight over "Meanest Mom On The Planet" who sold her son's car after finding booze under the seat (w/ pics of her and her crotchfruit)
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(282)
 
(tylerpaper.com)
 
 
 
PETA doesn't much care that a guy killed and ate his girlfriend, but now they're asking the jail to give him a vegetarian diet so he won't be doing any "senseless killing"
source: tylerpaper.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(236)
 
(Some Elvis)
 
 
 
Vegas weddings, and annulments in neighboring states, hit 10 year low
source: fox5vegas.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(45)
 
(AFP)
 
 
 
New book contends that being overweight, like being gay, is a "lifestyle choice." Fred Phelps expected to start protesting at funerals with "GOD HATES FAT" signs any day now
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(334)
 
(Defamer)
 
 
 
US Weekly blog about Katie Holmes in the Boston marathon vanishes; nice men in black suits seen walking away, whistling nonchalantly
source: defamer.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(68)
 
(Sports by Brooks)
 
 
 
Marion Jones gets 6 months in prison for check fraud and lying about steroid use, but what's the sentence for her marrying someone who looks like Mo Vaughn?
source: sportsbybrooks.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(48)
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
Duck duck duck duck duck duck juror
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(121)
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Trooper walks around I-4 pileup handing out tickets. Looks like SOMEONE was trying to reach their quota for the month early
source: myfoxorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(207)
 
(Globe and Mail)
 
 
 
Musharraf says US troops welcome to cross into Pakistan from Afghanistan to hunt for al-Qaeda/Taliban militants. Just kidding, he actually said "They would regret that day"
source: theglobeandmail.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(141)
 
(Drew)
 
 
 
"British Twins separated at birth who later married" - I'm calling BS
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(222)
 
(The Register)
 
 
 
14-year-old figures out how to take control of trains with TV remote
source: theregister.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(80)
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
In latest indication of how well his campaign is doing, Rudy Giuliani has stopped paying his campaign staff
source: guardian.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(68)
 
(Expatica)
 
 
 
If you absolutely have to have that online sex chat with a 12 year old make sure your computer isn't connected to the beamer in your classroom
source: expatica.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(84)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
A concise treatise on surviving (and winning) a fist fight
source: joethepeacock.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(387)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Web favorite Ron Paul scrutinized for racist comments printed in newsletters under his name in the '90s. Newsletters were like blogs that were printed on paper and then physically delivered by the postal service, sometimes by horse
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(471)
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Christian group outraged over statue of Jesus with erect penis. Disgust expected to reach new levels when they hear that "How does Jesus masturbate?" joke
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(297)
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Blind man to run seven marathons in one week, one on each continent. At least that's what they're telling him
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(37)
 
(Chron)
 
 
 
Study finds U.S. insurance companies systematically overcharge consumers, underpay claims. Ric Romero has more at 11
source: chron.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(71)
 
(CNSNews)
 
 
 
"SeXBox": New hit XBox game enables characters to copulate in full digital nudity
source: cnsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(285)
 
(SuperDeluxe)
 
 
 
What's Your Story weekly wrapup: Hillary is a crybaby in Iowa and Barack wins New Hampshire because he is black
source: superdeluxe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(78)
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
The touching story of an octopus who loved Mr. Potato Head
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(90)
 
(MyFoxPhilly)
 
 
 
These days the local media would have you believe it's more of a story if your cell phone ISN'T loaded with porn when you buy it
source: myfoxphilly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(21)
 
(ABC Action News)
 
 
 
Not news: Idiot does wheelies on his motorcycle, crashes. News: Deputies arrest him. Fark: Deputies un-cuff him because he is having chest pains, allowing him to steal a police car (with mug shot)
source: abcactionnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(48)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Nanny State fires coastguardsman who rescued a girl from a cliff in gale-force winds because his daring action violated health and safety regulations
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(128)
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
Terrorism is a young man's game, so Baby Boomers exempt themselves from the REAL ID Act
source: wtopnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(238)
 
(Minneapolis Star Tribune)
 
 
 
Some bank robbers write notes; this guy prefers to say it with flowers
source: startribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(14)
 
(My Fox DC)
 
 
 
Group to ride DC Metro without any pants this Saturday. DC city leaders worry image of city may suffer. NOTE TO FARK: Former Mayor, current Councilman Marion Barry is still among DC city leaders
source: myfoxdc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(128)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop these cool dudes chillin' on the slopes
source: photofile.ru   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(51)
 
(Statesman.com)
 
 
 
Thousands of gallons of oil-and-water spill onto Austin's Sixth Street, mixing with the urine and vomit of young skanks and douchebags
source: statesman.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(115)
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
After receiving the kiss of death from John Kerry yesterday, Barack Obama is back in the running after a blistering misspelled tirade from Roseanne Barr
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(327)
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
US military finally puts Abu Gharib behind it by dropping all charges against everyone involved, except for that Lynndie chick that started it all, of course
source: guardian.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(509)
 
(Boston Herald)
 
 
 
Boston City Council President "cannot believe" 1-31 terrorist is profiting from his diabolical scheme, demands he cut the city in on a piece of the action
source: falcon.heraldinteractive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(113)
 
(Metro.co.uk)
 
 
 
Boning your sister is bad enough but getting married to your twin takes it to an orchestra of dueling banjos level
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(293)
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
Boston Mayor would rather have people go without medical care than let them be treated by an evil corporation
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(75)
 
(the alligator)
 
 
 
"With the forced starvation of Terri Schiavo still fresh in our nation's memory," one e-mail states, "I am appalled that a convicted felon like Dr. Kevorkian is being given the microphone at the University of Florida."
source: alligator.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(368)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Flight 39 now arriving at gate 12... gate 13... gate 14... gate 15... gate 16
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(252)
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
Man sets fire to two $10 bills in front of his elderly father, thus depriving him of four months of TotalFark
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(62)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
"Attention Rite Aid shoppers: there is a sale on mouthwash in aisle 8. Also, there's a man with a knife trying to rob me at this moment."
source: kitsapsun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(22)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
If a woman says she'll give you sex if you buy her alcohol, get her something better than a bottle of Thunderbird
source: kitsapsun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(198)
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Kiwis and Australians are fighting over sheep. Velcro glove sales skyrocket
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(36)
 
(AZCentral)
 
 
 
Drunk driver does a quick U-turn, runs a red light, dodges a patrol car, drives into oncoming traffic, hits a fire hydrant, crashes his truck, jumps onto his girlfriend's lap and tells police she was driving. Ta-da!
source: azcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(45)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Only the Irish would have to appoint a working group to try to find out whether the Irish are drinking too much
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(75)
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Lookalike agency pimping out girl who looks like missing Madeleine McCann. Says "It's not sinister - it's entertainment."
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(64)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Interesting: Prince Phillip sent "cruel" letters to Princess Di. Fark: This "information" is from a woman who uses "energy healing to correct imbalances in one's electromagnetic field." So nevermind
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(42)
 
(Cleveland Plain Dealer)
 
 
 
Study suggest ways to reduce the amount of preschoolers being expelled. In other news, preschoolers are being expelled
source: blog.cleveland.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(93)
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
A German couple get fired after their boss discovers they weren't at an education seminar but actually on a S&M sex holiday, on the company's dime
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(64)
 
(Salt Lake Tribune)
 
 
 
Park City, Utah looks to make reckless skiing penalties equal to those for DUI
source: sltrib.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(58)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this tasty dessert
source: i157.photobucket.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(61)
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
UFO spotter believes Australians are descended from Aliens who landed at Uluru. Bonus points for the chap's name: Farkas
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(60)
 
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
Man catches swordfish with bare hands (with pics)
source: blogs.orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(62)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Dumbassnium discovered in massive quantities after guy brags that he built a nuclear reactor in his garage. Hey mom, why are those black vans parked in front of the house?
source: wfaa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(98)
 
(News4Jax)
 
 
 
Forty-seven senators pushing Bush Administration to allow gun owners to carry firearms into national parks. What could possibly become dinner?
source: news4jax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(553)
 
(Trinidad & Tobago Express)
 
 
 
As it turns out, throwing feces at judge may lengthen your prison sentence
source: trinidadexpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(34)
 
(Northwest Florida Daily)
 
 
 
Unaware of several oceans, man attempts to skateboard around the world
source: nwfdailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(53)
 


Thu January 10, 2008
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
If you have a fear of long words, balloons, or otters, there are now words to describe your phobia
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(103)
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Teen says that nobody actually taunted the dynamite tiger
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(155)
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
Judge resigns after hosting holiday party at which she bragged about having sex with public defender who routinely came before her
source: seattlepi.nwsource.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(115)
 
(LBC 97.3)
 
 
 
Remember hiccup girl? She was really DAMN SHIAT HELL just Tourette's girl all along
source: tampabays10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(137)
 
(Minneapolis Star Tribune)
 
 
 
Proud papa leaves his baby locked in freezing van while he visits strip club. After the bungee lady and the hold-up mother, the Minnesota bad-parenting trifecta is now complete
source: startribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(58)
 
(KMOV STL)
 
 
 
6-month-old baby ejected from his carseat in SUV during interstate wreck; flies out window, across to oncoming traffic, lands, rolls and comes away with nothing more than road rash. Ta da!
source: kmov.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(67)
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Drunkest driver ever? Mug shot of Oregon woman arrested with .72 BAC. That's right, .72, nine times the limit
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(282)
 
(Canoe)
 
 
 
The Aqua Teen Terrorist tries to cash in on his notoriety. Boston surrenders... again
source: cnews.canoe.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(56)
 
(Sydney Morning Herald)
 
 
 
There's a Japanese festival being planned in which naked men pile upon one another and frolic about late into the night to pray for good luck. For some reason, a Japanese train station doesn't want to hang posters advertising it
source: smh.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(60)
 
(Wired)
 
 
 
On this day in 1949, RCA released the first 45-rpm record. For you younger Farkers, a "record" is a grooved vinyl disc that was used as a rudimentary recording and playback system back in ancient times, like the 70s
source: wired.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(361)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
China bans ultra-thin plastic bags, birthrate expected to soar
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(59)
 
(Reno Gazette-Journal)
 
 
 
Nevada Humane Society to offer black cats and dogs at reduced prices on Martin Luther King Jr. day. Claims it is just a conincidence
source: rgj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(129)
 
(Bitten and Bound)
 
 
 
The Sun was suckered. Britney Spears sex tape is a hoax
source: bittenandbound.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(87)
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
The truth finally comes out about who planned 9/11. If you guessed an ad agency was behind it all, please step forward and claim the grand prize: a gold foil hat
source: gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(233)
 
(DARPA)
 
 
 
California zoo mourns death of popular but bizarre crooked neck giraffe (with crooked neck pics)
source: nbc11.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(179)
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Minnesota Farkers: Fark Party Saturday, Jan. 19th. DIT
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(123)
 
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
NewsFlash
 
Sir Edmund Hillary dies. Was apparently alive this whole time
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(251)
 
(Minneapolis Star Tribune)
 
 
 
Mother busted after she takes baby along during two hold-ups. Never too early to join the family business
source: startribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(36)
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Step 1: Get invited to CES. Step 2: Get a bunch of TV-B-GONE remotes Step 3: Turn off as many TVs as possible, including during press demos. Step 4: ??? (with vid)
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(325)
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Head of World Organization for Animal Health addresses bird flu. EVERYBODY PAN... wait, he actually says the threat is overblown
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(23)
 
(Snopes)
 
 
 
Snopes debunks the North American Union. In related news, reverse vampires, members of the Trilateral Commission seen leaving Snopes corporate offices
source: snopes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(183)
 
(Saint Guy)
 
 
 
Theme: Lesser-known patron saints
source: catholic-forum.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(138)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
FBI wiretaps stopped. Why? A) Internal investigation to determine legitimacy, B) Supreme Court decision, or C) Unpaid phone bills
source: ap.google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(70)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
1945 article about the then-future 1975: "Will War Drive Civilization Underground?"
source: paleofuture.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(146)
 
(KCCI)
 
 
 
American Lung Association office experiences an outbreak of lung disease
source: kcci.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(38)
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Psychotropic medication is the tinfoil hat that modern society wears to keep the voice of the Almighty out of potential saints' brainwaves
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(271)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
More high school graduates awarded honours degrees than ever, even though more universities than ever are offering remedial literacy courses for the little snowflakes. Some people suspect there is grade inflation happening
source: mailonsunday.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(283)
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
1978: Pilots let me see the cockpit and gave me plastic pilot wings. 2008: Pilots concerned I might take control of the aircraft via my beefed-up in-seat entertainment system
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(165)
 
(Miami Herald)
 
 
 
Thousands of people who were forced at gunpoint to start smoking file suit against tobacco firms
source: miamiherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(212)
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
World's cheapest car "upsets environmentalists." But then, what doesn't?
source: guardian.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(290)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Brown bagging has been illegal in Bell Buckle, TN for years, but residents may soon be able to bring their own liquor to the Waffle House after a repeal of the ordinance
source: news2wkrn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(56)
 
(STLToday)
 
 
 
Legal firm creates website resource for men facing divorce. President of the National Organization for Women responds: "The notion that women are dominant in the courts and are treated generally better than men is laughable."
source: stltoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(663)
 
(NBC5i.com)
 
 
 
Completely disagree with this slideshow of the "Sexiest Newscasters" using the link to the right
source: nbc5i.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(324)
 
(Some Ivan)
 
 
 
Latest Russian high-school history books focus on the little known elements of Russian history including Stalin's "effective people skills," Siberian "fun parks" and Putin's barechested hunkiness
source: russophobe.blogspot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(62)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
The three-year-old daughter of electronic music artist BT has been missing since December 19th
source: tracklists.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(159)
 
(Some non-Farker)
 
 
 
"The top five things I saw in America which, as a Canadian, freaked me right out." Obviously not written by a Farker who would know better
source: paulitics.wordpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(656)
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
After blowing *only* 0.26, guy boasts to officer, "Come to my house and we'll show you how to drink"
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(35)
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
New Britney Spears sex tape is said to show a shaven-headed Britney performing sex acts on two women and a male companion. The Sun is there
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(305)
 
(gaijinpot)
 
 
 
Strap-on robot takes the pain out of backbreaking farm work, leaves sheep emotionally detached
source: gaijinpot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(46)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Last month, 25 percent of houses sold in Las Vegas were repos or short-sales
source: lvrj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(100)
 
(San Francisco 49ers)
 
 
 
Virginia Governor urges legislature to repeal abusive driver fees. Why? A) They did not raise expected revenues. B) They are unconstitutional. Hint: It's not B
source: hamptonroads.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(89)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Teenage entrepreneur sues Barack Obama for using phrase "Change Rocks" when it's the same name as the jewelry he's created. That's as stupid as suing someone for using a phrase like "Not Safe for Work™"
source: lohud.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(69)
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Fark's favorite teacher due back in court with a "you'd bet your ass I would hit it" picture
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(209)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Matsushiata to switch name to Panasonic in order to get past profanity filters
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(115)
 
(C|Net)
 
 
 
Proof that Ma Bell is back to their "We do what the fark we want" days: They might start filtering Internet content. Biggest question is, will they hand it to the government before or after they filter all the good stuff out?
source: news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(77)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Man arrested for seventh DUI. Denies having bloody face when pulled over. Mugshot goodness proves otherwise
source: wickedlocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(65)
 
(SuperDeluxe)
 
Video
 
Go behind the scenes of the Christopher Walken ass-double auditions
source: superdeluxe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(75)
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
The British government wants to ban elephants as pets. If I would have known it was legal before to have an elephant as a pet in the UK, I'd already be on a plane to London. Sheesh
source: politics.guardian.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(31)
 
(ABC)
 
 
 
Claiming the U.S. version is fake, Iran releases their own video of the gulf warship encounter with voiceover work by Eddie Haskell
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(131)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Dr. Phil tackles the toughest subject of all: Trash talk and "racism" on Xbox Live. Too bad Xbox live has had a 95 percent downtime so far this year
source: drphil.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(289)
 
(Chicago Sun-Times)
 
 
 
Motorist shot on Chicago expressway early this morning. Residents outraged, wondering how many more times they will have to endure being late to work
source: suntimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(37)
 
(Seattle Times)
 
 
 
This SLUT won't take your money
source: seattletimes.nwsource.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(77)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Suspect had pot, crack and ammo way up in his crack. Asinine tag consents to cavity search, Dumbass tag says "OMGUFIAWTFLOLZ1." Rectum
source: thespec.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(34)
 
(shieldsgazette)
 
 
 
Are UFOs from outer space or, as this expert reckons, are they just crafts created by a super race of humans living under the South Pole? And why do they want to live in Sunderland?
source: shieldsgazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(59)
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
American-supplied blood packs might have given UK's brave boys AIDS. The Sun is there, with all the jingoistic bravado you would expect
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(81)
 
(Chicago Breaking News)
 
 
 
Golf Channel announcer who made racist remark has been lynched... I mean suspended, from her job
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(128)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
"No serious problems were reported, but the squirrel was electrocuted"
source: dailyrecord.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(35)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Cops follow trail of poop to find drunk driver. CSI takes night off
source: news-record.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(36)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Niceville man claims someone has been putting Christmas trees in his driveway, ringing the bell and running away. For a week
source: nwfdailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(41)
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
I'm shocked, shocked I tell you, that taxpayers have been ripped off in the demolition of what's still left at the World Trade Center
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(71)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Stimulating experience guaranteed as men and women come together for Copenhagen's first ever charity masturbate-a-thon. Organisers looking for volunteers to lend a hand
source: newsinfo.inquirer.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(100)
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
The strange life of an Olympic hostess in Beijing: "Girls are expected to smile continuously, showing if at all possible a recommended six to eight teeth, [which they] practice by inserting chopsticks in the mouth sideways"
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(98)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Britain to okay new nuclear power plants. Greenpeace wants to split wood not atoms. Why do hippies hate the environment?
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(157)
 
(ABC)
 
 
 
Bush claims he can harbor a Palestinian peace treaty by the time he leaves office. Wayne Campbell claims that in the next 12 months monkeys will fly out of his butt
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(84)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Sad: Subway engineer killed after falling out of a moving train, then getting hit by another train. Fark: He was suffering from diarrhea and leaned out to relieve himself
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(112)
 
(Defamer)
 
 
 
Joaquin Phoenix misspells his own name during People's Choice acceptance "speech"
source: defamer.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(92)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Today's Fark-ready headline: "Cross-dressing groom turns up at his own wedding in a bride's dress and tells guests 'I'm a transvestite'"
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(45)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Troopers finally start enforcement campaign against slow drivers hogging the left lane (video)
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(425)
 
(Breitbart.com)
 
 
 
Bush says Iran is a threat to whirrled peas
source: breitbart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(295)
 
(NY Daily News)
 
 
 
Hey dad, I don't think it would be really cool if you use your MTA chairman post to change a few bus routes to run right next to my new shopping center. *Wink wink*
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(20)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
A student in Norway who posed as a 13-year-old boy turned out to be a 33-year-old woman on the run from police
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(38)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Tennessee lawmaker misses first day of work at legislature to finish up 30 day rehab for DUI (with dashcam video)
source: news2wkrn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(15)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
I'll see your disgusting house full of cats and raise you a disgusting house full of chihuahuas
source: wwmt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(27)
 
(Play Misty For Me)
 
 
 
Photoshop what this man is looking at in the mist
source: i187.photobucket.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(81)
 
(Breitbart.com)
 
 
 
Yorkshire man makes five-egg omelet with only two eggs. Fishes and loaves day is going to be interesting
source: breitbart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(37)
 
(AFP)
 
 
 
A motion calling for the Church of England to be dis-established has been listed with the number 666
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(55)
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Artist ejaculates on pieces of paper and sprinkles carbon to immortalize the results for new exhibition, "Spent," proving that people will buy any old toss
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(101)
 
(MotorTorque.com)
 
 
 
Tata launches the cheapest car in the world. For $2500, the Nano offers 33bhp, four seats and no aircon. Which will be nice in India
source: motortorque.askaprice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(172)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Nanny State bars town from hanging flower baskets from lampposts, because they might fall down and kill somebody
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(45)
 
(Some Submerged Guy)
 
 
 
China's Navy has tripled the amount of submarine patrols in the last year. EVERYBODY PANI... up to to a total of six. Oh, never mind
source: govexec.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(133)
 
(Scotsman)
 
 
 
From the "Whistle While You Work" Files: A music professor believes that a happier workplace and increased productivity are possible when people have a song in their hearts that isn't "Fight the Power" by Public Enemy
source: news.scotsman.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(95)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Britney's family claim Dr. Phil is an attention whore
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(164)
 
(Denver Post)
 
 
 
The 2008 Boy Scout Handbook includes tips to combat bullies with snappy comebacks along the lines of "I know you are, but what am I?" which will guarantee an atomic wedgie
source: denverpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(97)
 
(NY Press)
 
 
 
Dan Rather set to prove his incompetence in a court of law
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(104)
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Not news: Man breaks out of prison. News: Man breaks into prison. Fark: Repeatedly, to supply transvestites with women's clothes
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(16)
 
(Baltimore Sun)
 
 
 
Parents now bundling insect-infested children to specialty lice salons
source: baltimoresun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(60)
 
(Tampa Bay Online)
 
 
 
Hitman tries to kill couple four times. FAIL x 4. Inspector Clouseau impressed
source: www2.tbo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(69)
 
(Lancashire Evening Post)
 
 
 
Blogging taxi driver is driven from YouTube by pop legend Prince
source: lep.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(61)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
It took cops 19 hours to track down a guy who was originally spotted sitting naked in a stolen truck
source: willistonherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(20)
 
(Independent)
 
 
 
British dental care most expensive in Europe. In other news, the British have dental care
source: news.independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(110)
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Online dictionary opens vote for Australian Word of the Year. You too can vote for "arse antlers," "tanorexia" or "salad-dodger"
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(57)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this freckled pasta lover
source: i216.photobucket.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(65)
 
(KFVS TV-12 News)
 
 
 
Missouri mayor wants to put litterbugs in jail. "I was driving down the street, and someone rolled their window down, and throwed a hamburger sack and soda out the window." In other news, Missouri mayors appear to need grammar lessons
source: kfvs12.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(94)
 
(The Consumerist)
 
 
 
Wil declares Auto Club's insurance services can "eat a bag of dicks." Doesn't have the same ring as "Make it so." Wil trifecta now complete
source: consumerist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(93)
 
(GWB was a cheerleader!)
 
 
 
School refuses to let boy join cheerleading squad. Give me a T I T L E... give me an I X.... What's that spell?
source: wlky.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(133)
 
(WAPT 16 News)
 
 
 
School principal arrested for sucking on student's toes, paying student $20 a week to keep quiet about it (article edited after initial posting to remove toe references)
source: wapt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(70)
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
6.4 earthquake recorded off coast of Oregon. Relieved seismologists say it was lucky it was undersea rather than occurring on land where it could have caused dozens of dollars in devastation
source: guardian.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(110)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Military's "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy changed to "LA LA LA I CAN'T HEAR YOU LA LA LA"
source: ap.google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(153)
 
(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 140: "Utility Poles." Make the banal portrait-worthy, revealing limitless variation and a stark reminder of life on the grid. Details and rules in the Boobies. LGT next week's theme
source: farktography.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(172)
 


Wed January 09, 2008
(Tampa Bay Online)
 
 
 
Online voting for Florida's new state song ends Thursday. Voters may choose from a list of three finalists, which inexplicably does not include "Crazy Train", "The Final Countdown", or "Never Gonna Give You Up"
source: northeast2.tbo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(69)
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Associated Press launches new feature where ordinary readers can ask questions to reporters and editors about why they covered what they covered and how they covered it. Go nuts
source: guardian.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(50)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
FOR SALE: farm with 100+ acres, house, barn and an exclusive place in rock-n-roll history
source: joshpeproperties.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(74)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Credit card debt spikes to six-month high. Fiscal responsibility throws up hands and heads to the mall
source: money.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(207)
 
(IndyStar)
 
 
 
Because of flooding, residents flee Tippecanoe, and Tyler too
source: indystar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(82)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Ten scans of creepy ads from old magazines
source: 2spare.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(343)
 
(Workforce Management)
 
 
 
If you are on permanent disability, being a regular crack cocaine dealer now legally counts as holding employment and could cost you your benefits
source: workforce.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(75)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Judge orders man who tied up the courts claiming to have invented Trivial Pursuit to pay legal costs to the tune of $1.25 million
source: hfxnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(60)
 
(AFP)
 
 
 
Brighton College announces compulsory etiquette classes, telling students "You can't have any pudding if you don't eat your meat"
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(68)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Gov. Richardson quits presidential race. Click to the right to post "WHO??"
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(311)
 
(The Pittsburgh Channel)
 
 
 
"Big problems mount for small Beaver County town with no mail service" *snicker*
source: thepittsburghchannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(62)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
A five-year-old boy was taken into custody and thoroughly searched at Sea-Tac because his name is similar to a possible terrorist alias
source: boingboing.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(143)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Woman loses case against airline that banned her from wearing cross at work. But it's not over. "It's not over until God says it's over"
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(75)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Once Curt Schilling is done with baseball, he'll do what any other self-respecting athlete will, which is throw himself into developing a new MMORPG. Wait, hold on, that can't be right
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(56)
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Good news for the polar bears: Acts of ocean piracy rose 10 percent in 2007
source: alertnet.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(40)
 
(Bennington Banner)
 
 
 
Crow experts very cautiously predict virus is spreading, fear an avalanche of puns if they were ever forced to admit a miscalculation
source: benningtonbanner.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(46)
 
(Your Erie)
 
 
 
Preschool teacher who duct-taped student to wall will face charges of assault and endangerment of child welfare. In other news, your crotchfruit has no appreciation of college pranks
source: yourerie.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(78)
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Survey finds 44 percent of Americans are annoyed by Christians, going to hell
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(240)
 
(Some M$ Guy)
 
 
 
C:\DOS\BGates\LastDay\At\Microsft
source: istartedsomething.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(186)
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Woman who used fake MySpace account to harrass teen in Missouri who eventually killed herself may face federal prosecution
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(250)
 
(Reno Gazette-Journal)
 
 
 
Police Chief fired for stealing beer from the firefighters fridge. That's some *hic* fine police work *hic* there, Lou
source: news.rgj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(26)
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Another M.P.W.W. (Missing Pregnant White Woman) alert. Somebody take the feedbags off Nancy Grace and Greta van Susteren
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(80)
 
(Edmonton Sun)
 
 
 
To complete the ugly-ass trifecta... here's a new baby gibbon
source: edmontonsun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(25)
 
(CBS11tv.com)
 
 
 
Woman confronts CVS pharmacist about expired medication. "He put his hand in my face and told me to take it to the choir"
source: cbs11tv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(159)
 
(Newsday)
 
 
 
Coolest article about a Braille contest that you won't see today
source: newsday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(85)
 
(and bears, oh my!)
 
 
 
Houston zoo let guests play tug-of-war with lions and tigers. This will end well
source: kvue.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(65)
 
(Dallas News)
 
 
 
Couple allows recently released murderer to stay in their apartment, are both completely caught off-guard when he gets all stabby
source: dallasnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(101)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Valentine heart candy has new messages. What messages should they have added? VE
source: beloblog.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(349)
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
President Sarkozy announces plans to model France's public service broadcaster on the BBC. British submitter suggests Melissa Theuriau would be ideal for popular BBC show "When Newsreaders Bend Over"
source: guardian.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(213)
 
(Komo)
 
 
 
Mayor McKickYourAss saw no reason to remove the lingerie pictures from her MySpace page after being elected, what are you going to do about it?
source: komotv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(229)
 
(Some Chihuahua)
 
 
 
Woman arrested for sweater puppies. Literally
source: www3.wsvn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(86)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Guy visits brothel, finds his wife working there. Awkward
source: sg.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(214)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Britain considers scrapping centuries-old law that makes blasphemy a criminal offence. It's about goddamn time
source: gazette-news.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(83)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
You wake up and find the "mark of the beast" on your hand. Do you: A) Wash it off? B) Wear a glove? Or C) Cut it off with a circular saw and microwave it?
source: ap.google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(214)
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Mr. Whiner sues everyone in sight because his precious allergic snowflake was dropped from the baseball team
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(130)
 
(Some Confused Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this... um... this... er, well, it's a test or something
source: biochemsoctrans.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(62)
 
(Google)
 
 
 
Final Reminder: NYC Fark party tonight at 6. LGT what you should check at the door
source: google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(96)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
German boss fires staff for not smoking
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(175)
 
(JSOnline)
 
 
 
Lawyer breaks courtroom rule and wears an ascot instead of the required necktie, which allowed his foreskin to creep up over his head
source: jsonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(123)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Judge decides to fire his assistant right before Christmas because she's been really underperforming, with her being on medical leave with cancer and all
source: jacksonville.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(215)
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
"Community college papers are tacking up their going-out-of-business signs after years of wrestling with undernourished budgets, high staff turnover and one undeniable fact that can't be trumped -- they suck."
source: seattlepi.nwsource.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(38)
 
(HeraldNet)
 
 
 
♪♪ Yeah, they come to snuff the rooster ♪♪ Oh yeeeahh ♪♪
source: heraldnet.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(105)
 
(Atlanta Journal Constitution)
 
 
 
Not news: Thousands of people fill out job applications for a job at a new business: Fark: Wal-Mart
source: ajc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(147)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Stop. Hammer fight
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(136)
 
(Tampa Bay Online)
 
 
 
When commuting, between drinking your coffee, eating your breakfast, messaging on your cell phone, sending a fax, flirting with the driver of the car next to you, and picking your nose, don't forget to look out for wanted criminals
source: www2.tbo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(21)
 
(News & Advance)
 
 
 
Man charged with having gun on school property and using homemade license plate invokes anarchist defense, tells court his residence is "in my body"
source: newsadvance.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(61)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Old and busted: Knut. New hotness: A new ugly-ass polar-bear cub (with authentic ugly-ass picture)
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(21)
 
(public radio)
 
 
 
Find your candidate by taking this poll
source: minnesota.publicradio.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(456)
 
(Sky.com)
 
 
 
Rare but exceptionally ugly-ass aye aye born at Bristol zoo (pic)
source: news.sky.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(102)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Today's Fark-ready story: "Jilted lesbian rugby player killed herself after brutally beating lover who had webcam affair"
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(163)
 
(Chicago Sun-Times)
 
 
 
County-board member says drinking and nudity don't mix. Submitter knows one person who's obviously never stepped into a bar in his life
source: suburbanchicagonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(80)
 
(Chicago Breaking News)
 
 
 
The latest Air Jordan shoe design may be the last of the Jordan line, leaving experts wondering what athlete's name will next cause people to pay absurd prices for shoes
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(218)
 
(IOL.co.za)
 
 
 
If you love your kids, hug them before they leave for school And if you really love them, turn that hug into a good frisk, checking for weapons and drugs
source: iol.co.za   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(47)
 
(EveningLeader)
 
 
 
Women can't resist squeezing former town mayor's 42DD breasts. "I don't know why he's complaining, he loves it really," says his friend. Yes, there's a picture
source: eveningleader.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(196)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
During a police chase, fleeing suspect attempts to give officers the slip by turning onto the nearest high-speed motorway. On foot
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(16)
 
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
Ugly-ass beige penguin adopted by cricket fans, who say it was getting picked on by other penguins. Because adopted kids never get picked on
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(39)
 
(ABC)
 
 
 
After New Hampshire, the media starts thinking that maybe, just maybe, polling data isn't all it's cracked up to be
source: blogs.abcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(203)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Today's "teacher fired for taking DNA sample from male teenage student" story comes from Devon, England. With "yeah, you'd probably hit it" pic
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(312)
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Zoo saves polar-bear cub from being eaten, is promplty criticized by animal activists
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(63)
 
(Breitbart.com)
 
 
 
"Reefer madness made me steal two crocodiles and a monkey, man. It was the demon weed."
source: breitbart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(66)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
White House expected to push for a free-trade agreement with Colombia, which is great for fans of cheap, high-quality cok -- which is great for fans of coffee
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(98)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Not news: Man gets $120 parking ticket. Fark: For his farm tractor that's been in a shed for the last 13 years
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(55)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Man says he took knife to school to peel apples for his son and only "accidentally" stabbed his wife seven times with it
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(77)
 
(Press & Argus)
 
 
 
"I got to stay away from alcohol and not be stupid anymore," says man in court -- during his sentencing for being a drunken dumbass
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(29)
 
(SunJournal.com)
 
 
 
Maine couple married at the local bank. Husband winks that he's going to go on his honeymoon and make a deposit, was promptly penalized for early withdrawal
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(36)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Iran claims U.S. Navy video is fake. U.S. Navy heard to mutter that next time those sinking Iranian boats will be very real
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(575)
 
(WMTW.com)
 
 
 
If the police are there to help you get your car started, it's probably best to put the weed away
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(35)
 
(Lancashire Evening Post)
 
 
 
Thief dismayed to discover that the fuel he stole for his car was actually heating oil, after it wrecks his car engine
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(58)
 
(ABC Action News)
 
 
 
Up to 50 vehicles involved in deadly chain-reaction I-4 pile-up in Florida (with video)
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(179)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Greek women invade monastic community that has had a 1000-year ban on women, ruining yet another place where guys can hang out in peace
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: