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Sun April 29, 2007
Source     Fark Headline Comments
(Chron)
 
 
 
Houston law firms volunteer new employees to prosecute speeding tickets. Some confidently demand the maximum penalty for 65 in a 60 zone. Some burst into tears when they lose
source: chron.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Newspaper)
 
 
 
What in a name? Maybe $10,000
source: dailypress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Turkey serves as a model for the world in secularism
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Casper Star Tribune)
 
 
 
Jeff Gordon passes Dale Earnhardt's career NASCAR victory total with win at Talladega. Delighted fans shower their new hero with hundreds of beer cans in celebration
source: casperstartribune.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Japanese patch measures pet stress. Your dog wants Zoloft
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Two women arrested in Rome public transit umbrella stabbing death
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Man flies across the country to have sex with a girl who turned out to be an undercover officer
source: 3v8.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Sometimes you eat the bear
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Seattle Times)
 
 
 
Bangles becoming popular again. "There's something sexy about the jingle. It's like the bell of a woman calling your attention"
source: seattletimes.nwsource.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(RGJ)
 
 
 
Man caught fapping behind a curtain at a teen volleyball tournament. No happy ending here
source: news.rgj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LBC 97.3)
 
 
 
Former "American Idol" finalist arrested for aggravated battery with beer mug, cocaine possession. (with mugshot goodness)
source: tampabays10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chron)
 
 
 
For-profit vigilantes rid Rio slums of crime
source: chron.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LBC 97.3)
 
 
 
Is there *anything* you can't do with a butter knife?
source: tampabays10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MyFoxKC)
 
 
 
Shooting at Ward Parkway Center in Kansas City, MO
source: myfoxkc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Record-Courier)
 
 
 
Underage man tries using a prison id for a alcohol purchase, flees police, receives a "forward spinning strike" for his asshattery
source: recordcourier.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop these brazin' hussies
source: archives.gov   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chron)
 
 
 
For $82 a night you can learn your lesson the Pablo Escobar way
source: chron.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Canada.com)
 
 
 
Woman has to pay $2000 to clean up one of those "green" lightbulbs
source: canada.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Wounded from VT are coming out of the hospital, getting CNN another front page story out of them. Subby predicts Breaking News of VT Graduation, with live video
source: us.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Family has been threatened with eviction after they put up razor wire to stop vandals breaking into their property
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Woman gets locked in a room for 15 years by her husband because she didn't have a big enough dowry
source: earthtimes.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Two men admit to trafficking whale teeth, plead for baleiniency
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
PR campaign revamping Israel's image from Holy Land to Babes & Beaches Land. Where is your Yahweh now?
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Spring: when the flowers bloom, the birds sing, and Darwin gets on his lawnmower and weeds out the stupid kids
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(STLToday)
 
 
 
Woman tries to shake down the local CW news crew for $10,000 or she'll kill her children. Children seen nervously wishing Mom would have picked the Fox affiliate
source: stltoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Baltimore Sun)
 
 
 
Four out of five eyewitnesses are about as reliable as a Ford Edsel, but the jury loves them, and that's what matters
source: baltimoresun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SanDiego UnionTribune)
 
 
 
Man arrested for allegedly stealing 26 cars to see girlfriend
source: signonsandiego.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
The world's first matchmaking website for pets, by 17-year old New Zealand student
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(mlb.com)
 
 
 
St. Louis Cardinals pitcher Josh Hancock killed in auto accident
source: stlouis.cardinals.mlb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Northern Californian Farkers: Section Of Macarthur Maze collapses. Use alternative routes
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
On Halloween 2005, prosecutors say, Peter Braunstein dressed in full firefighting regalia - but his outfit had nothing to do with the holiday, although he did pull out his firehose
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(St. Petersburg Times)
 
 
 
Florida A&M University is looking for about $2.7 million worth of missing stuff, including a golf cart, ice machine, five lawnmowers, and two large popcorn poppers
source: sptimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toronto Star)
 
 
 
Deadbeat $350/haircut hairdresser in dire financial straits. Where is John Edwards when you need him?
source: thestar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
82 prisoners remain locked up in Guantanamo Bay despite having been cleared of all charges against them, because the US doesn't want to deport them to places where they might face torture or other human rights abuses
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(London Times)
 
 
 
Cavemen just *loved* doin' the nasty. Which is why we're all here
source: timesonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Caption this picture of Barack Obama making some kind of point
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Globe and Mail)
 
 
 
Bush predicts the end of a "cruel dictatorship" in the western hemisphere. No, silly, he was talking about Cuba
source: theglobeandmail.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mainichi Daily News)
 
 
 
"I sleep at McDonald's three or four nights a week"
source: mdn.mainichi-msn.co.jp   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this creampuff
source: rabidcat.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Schools banning media players because kids are using them to cheat. Even Ric Romero is laughing at our educators
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MaineToday.com)
 
 
 
Goats can give so much more than just milk and sex
source: morningsentinel.mainetoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Truck carrying booze flips on I-5. Relax, it was wine coolers
source: katu.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WLBZ2.com)
 
 
 
Woman buys shoes and returns them without a receipt. Management decides she's a stupid poopyhead
source: wlbz2.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Dorset Echo)
 
 
 
Donut-chomping officials stop baker selling novelty pig cakes as they don't contain pork. Spotted Dick still on sale
source: dorsetecho.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(London Times)
 
 
 
Not news: Global warming is melting the icecaps. News: On Mars
source: timesonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Joey Buttafuoco emerges from prison with a new appreciation of what his last name really meant in the old country, and a slightly different walk
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tampa Bay Online)
 
 
 
Crackhead with low self-esteem fakes kidnapping. The lofty ransom? $350. Bail has been set at $2500
source: tboblogs.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KUTV Utah)
 
 
 
Foiled Saudi attack looked a lot like 9/11
source: kutv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(STLToday)
 
 
 
Pothead describes watching motorcyclist practice flying skills
source: stltoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
"Dick will make you slap somebody." Not safe for work Language
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Coolest book art you'll see today
source: funforever.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stars and Stripes)
 
 
 
Air Force set to implement widespread ban of tobacco products on all bases. This should end well
source: estripes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHAM Rochester)
 
 
 
In a move sure to encourage visitors, city feels it would be best if its "downtown guides" were skilled in hand-to-and combat
source: 13wham.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Breaking News)
 
 
 
If you left 700 pounds of cocaine at O'Hare airport on an Aeromex flight from Guadalajara, the Chicago Police Department would like to have a word with you
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(This Is Local London)
 
 
 
You wish to promote God of War 2. Do you A) Show off gameplay, B) set up a booth at conventions, or C) decapitate a goat and invite people to eat the entrails? (Not safe for work)
source: thisislondon.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WRAL)
 
 
 
Duke cheats
source: wral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Expert says it's OK to cry at work. Which is good, since this is what submitter does when he sees his paycheck
source: money.guardian.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Flickr)
 
 
 
There's cool- and then there's this guy. Rock on, King of the Mullets™
source: flickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Next time you lose your cell phone, you might have to file for bankruptcy
source: finance.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mainichi Daily News)
 
 
 
High school students dress as samurai for life-size game of Japanese chess. Mongo only pawn in game of life
source: mdn.mainichi-msn.co.jp   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop these Atlases
source: iste.uni-stuttgart.de   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Old and Busted: Noah's Ark - New hotness: Johan's Ark, complete with 50-seat film theater and one camel
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(San Francisco 49ers)
 
 
 
Judges will reschedule cases for attorneys with a legitimate excuse. This attorney found out that a shopping trip is not one of them
source: content.hamptonroads.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Magazine)
 
 
 
Study shows that overpraising children has negative effects. Obvious tag suddenly feels unloved
source: nymag.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
The most amazing collection of historical photos you'll ever see
source: old-picture.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sat April 28, 2007
(CBS4Boston.com)
 
 
 
Try explaining this to your underage friends.... "Uh, couldn't steal any booze. A geriatric store clerk chased me down, tackled me and turned me over to police"
source: wbztv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(mofunzone)
 
 
 
Kill yourself some damn dirty zombies in this 20 level flash game
source: mofunzone.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Vikings may have used polarized crystals to navigate, find Sarah Connor
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Ancient manuscript suggests Jesus asked Judas to betray him; planned for Ashton to show up midway to tell the apostles they all got punk'd
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
Ambulance driver dies of heart attack. If only...oh, never mind
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Billings Gazette)
 
 
 
Rules for working at an auto wrecking yard -- be on time, wear the proper uniform, and don't crush a car with a full gas tank
source: billingsgazette.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KPHO-5)
 
 
 
Feds bust "Greenhound"; fake tourbuses smuggled pot and money between Detroit and Tucson
source: kpho.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
Canada moves to protect 107-year-old shipwreck with beer shipment still intact. Those who have tried already advise divers from doing what comes naturally: "It was pretty skunky"
source: seattlepi.nwsource.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SomeBeltSander)
 
 
 
Photosop these industrious gentlemen
source: bungojungo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
That's not a tinfoil hat, THIS is a tinfoil hat
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PCWorld)
 
 
 
New project available to the public provides recipes for robot kits made with off the shelf parts and the ability to control bots via Internet. What could possibly go wrong?
source: pcworld.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Officials concerned about transgender gators, advocate tolerance, mutual respect
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Tennessean)
 
 
 
Christian tattoo shop will not tattoo anything that glorifies sin, such as marijuania leaves, nekid ladies or the worst of them all, peace symbols
source: tennessean.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Most of the time, life as a council member is fairly uneventful. But then there are those times when you have to evict a harp-playing transvestite with only one leg
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KLBJ 590 AM)
 
 
 
The ashes of James "Scotty" Doohan to be launched into space today
source: 590klbj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Philly.com)
 
 
 
Hershey sees no reason to continue using chocolate to make chocolate bars, especially when plenty of Americans will scarf down anything that's make from fat and sugar
source: philly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Islamic punk rock is on the rise. Presumably without the sex and drugs. So no fun at all, really
source: music.guardian.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Billings Gazette)
 
 
 
Mom blames library for teaching her kid how to sniff nail polish remover. We wait for the day mom finds there are Internets
source: billingsgazette.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Dilbert)
 
 
 
Scott Adams discusses how United Media rejected a recent Dilbert comic strip because it was "too provocative" (with pic of original)
source: dilbertblog.typepad.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Doc Brown)
 
 
 
Postcards from 1900 speculating what life would be like in the year 2000. While they nailed the escalator and did pretty well on the TV, I'm still waiting for my Weather Dominator
source: paleo-future.blogspot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Hockey Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this goalie and levitating linesman
source: img.photobucket.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Unisex lavatories - with blurred glass walls - could help in the battle against school bullies, increase peeping
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Squirrels are dying off from the plague in Denver; on the brighter side they all had enormous testicles
source: gazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Ever thought to yourself that you could live in just your bathroom, if you had to? This guy took the concept to its logical conclusion
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
Parents in south Florida warned to keep small children away from lakes and canals, as severe drought sends hordes of Everglades alligators on the march
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
European Union politicians want to help fight global warming by helping cows and sheep to stop farting
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS13.com - CBS Sacramento)
 
 
 
Teens avoid a DMV law with the new trend of 'Trunking' (with video)
source: cbs13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
We're gonna need a bigger couch
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Sesame Street to be adapted for Northern Ireland. Bert calls the Pope the Anti-Christ whilst Ernie gives support to the IRA
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(London Times)
 
 
 
Life jacket for sale. Marked 'RMS Titanic'. Used once
source: timesonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Bush warns Congress over Iraq timetables, saying he never got past 8x8 himself
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
The best analysis of cat image macros you'll read all day. I can has greenlight?
source: dashes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mainichi Daily News)
 
 
 
Not News: Man walks down the street. Still Not News: He has an 18-year-old female college student on his mind. Fark: Literally
source: mdn.mainichi-msn.co.jp   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sky News)
 
NewsFlash
 
5.0 earthquake hits southern England. San Francisco Farkers wonder what all the fuss is about
source: news.sky.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop the submitter's co-worker into some more exciting situations. Difficulty: SFW
source: i177.photobucket.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vernon Broadcaster)
 
 
 
Amish fear government-mandated cattle ID numbers amount to branding 'the mark of the beast' on their livestock. Go ahead and discuss - it's not like the Amish will be flaming the thread or anything
source: vernonbroadcaster.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Sparks Tribune)
 
 
 
Neighborhood is evacuated after cops find rental truck filled with "rotting fish, cow parts, and pig organs"
source: charlotte.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newburgh Register)
 
 
 
Small town in Indiana works hard to keep it's oldest Boner erect
source: tristate-media.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
29 ugly-ass ducklings are stopping traffic on one of the UK's busiest roads (with pics)
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
News: Man turns himself in on DUI manslaughter charge. Fark: he allegedly dragged a motorcyclist to his death after hitting him head on. Florida: while high on aerosol dust remover
source: orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Court spends £8,000 to prosecute teenager for barking at a dog
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Here's what your favorite female celebrities would look like bald
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
A young lady of Seville would not think of attending the bullfights at the Maestranza ring without.. OMG WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wave3 Louisville)
 
 
 
Man arrested for distributing fliers with pictures of his naked ex-wives
source: wave3.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
That's "Mr" fluffy von snuggles to you
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WJZ.com)
 
 
 
Today's "Student posts hit list on MySpace then comes to school with a knife" brought to you by Anne Arundel, Maryland. Bonus: She was a cheerleader
source: wjz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fitchburg Sentinel)
 
 
 
State: Your pond isn't up to code. Owner: *pulls drain plug* Do you have a code for mudholes?
source: sentinelandenterprise.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCBStv.com)
 
 
 
Fans are heckling your baseball team. Do you A: Ignore them, B: Have them ejected from the stands, or C: Have the team beat them down with baseball bats
source: wcbstv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Fri April 27, 2007
(Newsday)
 
 
 
Neighbors of a church have petitioned a Ohio city, saying screams and sounds of glory and praise coming from the building are a nuisance
source: newsday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(STLToday)
 
 
 
Charter Communications gives AOL's customer service a run for its money for 'Worst. Customer. Service. Ever.'
source: stltoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tampa Bay Online)
 
 
 
Two prison escapees' freedom short-lived after they celebrate by lounging around backyard in their jail uniforms, drinking beers and chatting up neighbors
source: tbo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Knuttz)
 
 
 
Caption this animal standoff
source: media.knuttz.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Problem: Those pesky Europeasants objected to having the new EU constitution shoved down their throats. Solution: "use different terminology without changing the legal substance"
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this metallurgist
source: img246.imageshack.us   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Gunslinger)
 
 
 
Would you rather see car drivers carrying guns or talking on cell phones? In Arizona, the survey says: guns
source: azdailysun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Herald (IL))
 
 
 
Boy arrested for writing 'disturbing' story explains the story (with full text of story)
source: dailyherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Valet)
 
 
 
Drunk parks his truck on the deck on the back of the house. Refused to take the time to pull around back, goes through kitchen instead (w/ pic and mugshot goodness). Vehicle-in-house trifecta now in play
source: wowt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some lard-cheeks)
 
 
 
"Ass-face" is now a compliment
source: wfaa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCBStv.com)
 
 
 
Pope Benedict XVI to visit NYC. Terror level raised to white
source: wcbstv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(HelenaIR.com)
 
 
 
Today's "dynamite-stealing thieves leave pay stub behind" story brought to you by Missoula, MT
source: helenair.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Local6)
 
 
 
Cheerleaders who became famous (pics)
source: local6.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Woman's car messes with bull, gets horns
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Herald (IL))
 
 
 
14-year-old boy gets perfect ACT score. "Ahrggh hftty sfdfd aiini," he says, from inside a locker
source: dailyherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Saudi tribe holds camel beauty pageant. Those humps, those humps, those dromedary lumps
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC10)
 
 
 
♪♫ He's a stabby guy from Cambodia ♪♫ He'll stab you in the back ♪♫ He's a stabby guy from Cambodia ♪♫ He'll shank yo ass for craaaaaaack ♪♫
source: nbc10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Greenville Online)
 
 
 
Playboy playmate and her "trainer" busted after leaving kilo of cocaine in hotel room for maids to find
source: greenvilleonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
"Online dating is about game theory, not looks"
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toronto Star)
 
 
 
Junior high students collect 12,000 batteries for recycling. City of Toronto says "No thanks, you keep them."
source: thestar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Earthquake brings sunken ship, Cthulhu to surface in Pacific
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC11)
 
 
 
Detroit cop faces charges after forcing couples to have sex
source: nbc11.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Pittsburgh trying to redefine itself as an art mecca instead of the alcoholic, laid off half-brother of Philly
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSAT)
 
 
 
When in a Cessna, it's best not to taxi too close to 737's
source: ksat.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(IndyStar)
 
 
 
Police officer lifted off the ground by tornado, did not catch the bicycle-riding witch she was chasing
source: indystar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Run groom, run!!!)
 
 
 
Usually, when a bride ends up in handcuffs on her wedding night, it's for kink rather than marital battery
source: theherald.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Canadian university developing a Shakespeare-themed video game. "But soft, what light through yonder window breaks? It is the east, and all your base are belong to us"
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Breaking News)
 
 
 
It's a sad day in the War on the Drugs when the two-year olds are practically giving the coke away for free
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Like a lump of lard in a deep-fat fryer, Rosie O'Donnell is rising to the top of the celebrity blog poll. Lets help Wil out
source: bloggerschoiceawards.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chron)
 
 
 
Styrofoam-gobbling llama delays Cadillac Ranch photo shoot
source: chron.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Bush Administration declares war on Chocolate
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Breitbart.com)
 
 
 
English pub wants to beat smoking ban by asking Peru for consulate status. Peru agrees as long as it can extradite the traitor Paddington Bear back to Lima
source: breitbart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
God is green
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Saudi officials round-up 172 Al-Qaeda No. 2s in lightning raids all over the country
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
U.S. captures another high-ranking al-Qaeda operative whom you've never heard of and will likely never hear about ever again
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WRAL)
 
 
 
Woman killed at funeral home. Talk about convenient
source: wral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Any high school graduate looking for a job? Good news. It looks like you're qualified to be the dean of MIT
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Cleveland Fark party at Notacon 4 this Saturday, 9:00 p.m. at the hotel bar. Drew will be there
source: notacon.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(St. Petersburg Times)
 
 
 
Hot Venezuelan Milka Duno passes her IRL rookie test (with pic)
source: sptimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Skeletor, Bush's economic advisor, states that economic growth slowed to a near crawl of 1.3 percent (with scary pic)
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Scotsman)
 
 
 
Croatian footballer given 16 sheep for the 16 goals he has scored this season. No word on whether he's going to open a brothel
source: news.scotsman.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS13.com - CBS Sacramento)
 
 
 
"My credit card company called me and said, 'Are you in Japan right now buying shoes?' And I said, 'No, I'm in Chicago'"
source: cbs13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Denver Channel)
 
 
 
Remember the story about the Japanese women buying sheep that they thought were dogs? Ewe were conned
source: thedenverchannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(IOL.co.za)
 
 
 
Cat in China gives birth to four kittens and one puppy
source: int.iol.co.za   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
New York's governor proposes legalizing gay marriage in state; Yankees clubhouse ecstatic
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chron)
 
 
 
Much like most of the girls submitter knew in college, FDA rejects Arcoxia
source: chron.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Local10 WPLG)
 
 
 
Boy breaks leg trying to fly out window, rejected from International League of Little Vampires
source: local10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS13.com - CBS Sacramento)
 
 
 
Female deputy under investigation for sexing up a female inmate. Investigators continue research into the case, including extra copies of "Chained Heat 3" and "Prison Biatches"
source: cbs13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Here's your chance to buy "The General Lee" directly from Bo Duke. Yeeeee-haw
source: pr-inside.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Tfette)
 
 
 
Photoshop this sassy couple
source: tallstories.org.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PRB)
 
 
 
Not news: Person sets up a website begging for money. News: It's for a boob job. Fark: As it turns out, it's for a guy
source: prbuzz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Canadian politicians concerned about upcoming "FLICK OFF" campaign: "Clearly it's an ad agency that has a bunch of flickin' amateurs as employees"
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Townhall)
 
 
 
Addiction to online pornography on the rise. Submitter thought that was the point
source: townhall.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gazettelive.co.uk)
 
 
 
News: Church organist found dead at his Teesside home Fark: Naked and inside a giant plastic bag
source: gazettelive.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS46)
 
 
 
Tennessee Senate passes bill allowing zoos to sell booze
source: cbs46.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Five lesbians got married last weekend in Nigeria. Islamic police are looking for them -- but not in the same way you or I would be looking for them
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Russia to Estonia: "Look, just because we repressed you for decades doesn't mean you can just tear down every Soviet war monument we built, you ungrateful bastards"
source: guardian.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Starpulse)
 
 
 
Naked, spread-eagle Paris Hilton autopsy sculpture with "removable innards" created to warn teens of the dangers of underage drinking, gang bangs
source: starpulse.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Iwon)
 
 
 
Woman teed off by drunken golfers relieving themselves on her property. Decides to videotape them, then gives tapes to TV stations. Hilarity ensues
source: apnews1.iwon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS3.com)
 
 
 
The three Rs have been replaced by XXX in one N.J. town where someone purchased porn on the school district's tab
source: cbs3.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Students use electronic devices to cheat. Fox News is there
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mr. Muggles)
 
 
 
Doggie love indicated by which direction its tail wags in. Here comes the science
source: ocala.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Your bank mistakenly deposits over $100K in your account. Do you: A) Report the error? B) Donate it to charity? C) Claim finders keepers and blow most of it?
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tampa Bay Online)
 
 
 
Woman, 72, kicks man in groin, smacks him with shovel. Because when she asks for beer money, she's serious
source: tboblogs.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MaineToday.com)
 
 
 
Woman thrilled to wake up and find a new car waiting for her. Unfortunately, it was in her kitchen
source: morningsentinel.mainetoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Fark TV on the front page of CNN again. See Top Stories, under "Funny Lunch." It's not news, it's CNN.com
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
MSNBC collects readers' pictures of horrifying hotel rooms
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(38pitches.com)
 
 
 
Curt Schilling challenges any takers one million dollars to prove that the blood on his sock was fake. One thing is for sure, the blood on Gary Thorne's butt hole from the new ass Curt just ripped him is real
source: 38pitches.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(GamersReports.com)
 
 
 
Ken Kutaragi, CEO of Sony Computer Entertainment, steps down
source: gamersreports.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
"French said to outpace Americans in French-bashing"
source: uk.reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(China Daily)
 
 
 
Chinese carmakers begin production of hybrid electric vehicles. They'll be cheaper, more fuel efficient and meticulously hand crafted by children
source: chinadaily.com.cn   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Commercial pilots "shook up" after witnessing UFOs. Men in black suits arrive to let them know it was just some average streetlights hovering at 8,000 feet
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(This Is Local London)
 
 
 
Ways I wouldn't like my corpse to turn up, No. 357: in a car boot and dressed in rubber fetish gear
source: thisislondon.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Winnipeg free press)
 
 
 
Photoshop this picture of a guy, his ball and some children
source: winnipegfreepress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Scotsman)
 
 
 
Twelve finalists selected to compete for Scottish Chef of the Year Award. "Scotland has become a magnet for culinary tourists," says organizer
source: news.scotsman.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
Not news: 18-year-old gets arrested. News: It was for DUI. Fark news: He was driving a forklift
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Seattle Times)
 
 
 
Fifty-year-old time capsule found to contain porn. Grandpa, you got some 'splaining to do
source: seattletimes.nwsource.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Happy Hour)
 
 
 
Atlanta Fark Party. Come celebrate at this impromtu bachelor/bachelorette party. Difficulty: No cheesy bachelorette crap, just beer and good food
source: brewhousecafe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Woman, 95, to be oldest college graduate. Soon to be oldest drunk chick flashing her foobies on Old Broads Gone Wild
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Times Dispatch)
 
 
 
A mysterious affliction is killing fish in the Shenandoah River. Where is your cod now?
source: timesdispatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Thief fails to get away clean after stealing one hundred-fifty pounds of Tide laundry detergent, despite police scrubbing out each others' cars
source: pensacolanewsjournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Viagra seized from inmates in prison raid. Hardened criminals, indeed
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Scientists discover old Aristotle text written in lemon juice on old parchment after heating it over the fire, or something like that
source: news.nationalgeographic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Prisoner robbed bank 18 days after his release from prison because he wanted to go back. Mission accomplished
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cleveland Plain Dealer)
 
 
 
Mad at the conservatives trying to shut down his business, strip-club owner buys out their lunch
source: blog.cleveland.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Canadian man who experimented with LSD back in the day is denied entry to the US at the border. Difficulty: he's a psychotherapist who was conducting legitimate research at the time. Oh save us, War On Drugs
source: alternet.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Biologist says first-date sex increases chance of long-term relationship. Listen up ladies, this guy's really smart
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
When global warming turns your backyard into a giant lake, at least the fishing will be good
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Man puts "Fark the Tram" sign on roof because riders can see into his yard (with pic)
source: katu.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Male stripper wears police uniform to work. Two female cops not impressed
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Tahoe National Forest may lock toilets and bathroom doors. Does a bear shiat in the woods?
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Charleston Daily Mail)
 
 
 
So this squirrel walks into a barber shop
source: dailymail.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Green D)
 
 
 
Dallas-Fort Worth Cinco de Mayo get together next Saturday in Euless. LGT gathering place
source: pocketsrestaurant.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WLBT)
 
 
 
Not news: Dog bites man. News: Man bites dog. Fark: Monkey bites IRS agent
source: wlbt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(This Is Pembrokeshire)
 
 
 
Hey baby, I need you to put some medical cream on my penis. Oh, and I need to rub it around inside of you. Okay? Cool
source: thisispembrokeshire.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Herald)
 
 
 
Car with five horsepower and cruising speeds up to 20 mph expected to bring $160,000 at auction, but then it's 106 years old
source: theherald.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Sparks Tribune)
 
 
 
Seventy-year-old man goes to his first prom, tells those crazy kids to quit dancing on his lawn
source: charlotte.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Liven up these three storefronts
source: wvs.topleftpixel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Thu April 26, 2007
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Latest live webcam star: A large maturing cheddar cheese. Please, no puns, I camembert it
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Girls aged 11-13 are drinking over a bottle of wine a week. Giggity giggity
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KLBJ 590 AM)
 
 
 
Man lets woman into his motel room to take a shower. Woman leaves with his keys and his truck. So it's like a normal relationship, only a lot faster
source: 590klbj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Ninjas, pirates, vikings and lumberjacks all competing for dominance in college politics
source: stanforddaily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(City TV)
 
 
 
If you take a stand against your high school bullies, they'll gain a new found respect for you and leave you alone. Or maybe they'll burn your family's house down. It can go either way, really
source: citynews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Woman claims teaching career was derailed by "drunken pirate" MySpace photo. And now she's suing
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bing)
 
 
 
50 bullshiat jobs
source: money.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Pearl necklace sells for $7.1 million. Hot Karl gets no bidders
source: feeds.reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Police in Chicago bust up a fake ID ring and arrest 22 people. Among those arrested: Hugh Jass, Mike Hunt, Dick Hirtz, I.P. Freely, and Amanda Huggenkiss
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Hawking returns safely from zero-g flight on what he refers to as the "Hawking-plane"
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(delawareonline)
 
 
 
If you're going to steal a car, make sure it will make it fully across the state line before it breaks down. With mugshot goodness
source: delawareonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
A store clerk asks to see your license, do you (a) show it to them, (b) go home to get it, or (c) freak out and throw a curling iron at the them? Before you answer, remember: you're on the Massachusetts Governor's Council
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(wltx.com)
 
 
 
The hottest college homemade bomber you'll see today
source: wltx.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Breaking News)
 
 
 
Chicago teen arrested over an essay. Police insist they can arrest someone if his writing "disturbs" someone else. In related news, death warrant issued for Stephen King
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Chinese seek investment for all-woman village where women are dominant and men are punished for disobedience. "Marriage" being floated as name for village
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
Math teacher shocks busload of kids by displaying the member of his set, demonstrating angle of rotation; will probably end up in prism
source: wtopnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Al-Qaida No. 2 in Algeria killed. Really though, who does No. 2 work for?
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Globe and Mail)
 
 
 
Union that has gone on strike 7 times in the last 10 years isn't quite ready when its own administrative workers go on strike
source: theglobeandmail.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
When beating on a tree with a metal pole to knock out some mangos, ensure no power lines are overhead
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Profile of one of America's last typewriter repairmen. Typewriter? Apparently, it's some sort of manual keyboard/printer/display combo thingie
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(kgw.com)
 
 
 
Fleeing naked man in heels blamed for lockdown
source: kgw.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Statesman.com)
 
 
 
Man who kidnapped, bound, and raped his estranged wife because she was his "property" is about to spend the next 20 years developing a deep-seated sense of irony
source: statesman.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Two companies and two almond plantation workers charged over killing more than 40 rare parrots after it was determined that they weren't just resting
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Not news: Cops botch a drug raid. News: Raid on 92 year old woman, who shot at them before being killed. Fark: Cops fired 39 shots, hit the woman 6 times, and shot themselves a few times for good measure
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSNBC)
 
NewsFlash
 
Film industry lobbyist Jack Valenti has died; given a PG-13 rating
source: msnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Official Democratic Debate discussion thread. Drink every time an unknown tries to grab some limelight
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some GIS)
 
 
 
I don't know what kind of toy this is, but you should photoshop it
source: images.vinylpulse.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Shrek blasted for dietary hypocrisy
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wall Street Journal)
 
 
 
Bush approval rating at 28 percent. How low can you go?
source: users2.wsj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ksdk)
 
 
 
Today's "moron busted for child porn" story brought to you by St. Louis. Fark bonus: He was found in the airport chapel
source: ksdk.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Scientists would like you to forget about the cellphones, sunspots and pesticides -- this time they're sure they've figured out what's killing the bees
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Christian Newswire)
 
 
 
Kirk Cameron will disprove evolution and his Christian TV show co-host will present "undeniable scientific proof that God exists"
source: christiannewswire.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Jobless claims drop sharply, though most were contained in White House emails
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Trans-Siberian railway now has coaches with ensuite bathrooms, power showers, underfloor heating and plasma screen TVs
source: uk.reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark redesign notes and updates from Drew
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
For those interested, a short blurb on Fark copyright language and whatnot
source: plagiarismtoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark TV: Fisherman sells cocaine-drenched fish for $1000 each
source: fark.tv   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
So, Congress was all like, We have questions? and then Condi went, I already answered them? and then they went, Nuh-uh we're going to subpoena you? and she was all like, Oh no you din't, biatch, ain't respectin' you no more
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
If you must buy your cheese from a door to door salesman, it's best to avoid the Fromunda
source: theindychannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Gas may hit $4/gallon this summer. Suck it SUVs... and almost the entire U.S. population. No word on how long the news media will continue to recycle this story
source: money.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
If you must shrink-wrap your employees, do not set them on fire
source: thejournalnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Woman udderly shocked when asked to leave restaurant for breast feeding
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Baltimore Sun)
 
 
 
Author tells student he would give her an autograph if she climbed on a table and took off her clothes; says statement was taken out of context
source: baltimoresun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Philly.com)
 
 
 
Comcast welcomes 1.76 million new "revenue generating units" into its collective monopoly, then raises everyone's rates. Good times
source: philly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
In Washington, D.C., $65 million will pay for: A) A huge section of Georgetown. B) The salaries of every player on the Washington Nationals. Or C) A pair of pants lost by the dry cleaners
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sports by Brooks)
 
 
 
Los Angeles Times sportswriter announces he is transsexual and will change his name to Christine. Seriously
source: sportsbybrooks.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(charleston gazette)
 
 
 
If you're going into a mine to steal copper, make sure you can find your way out. The rescue crews probably won't help you carry your loot
source: wsaz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Scotsman)
 
 
 
Indian court has ordered Richard Gere's arrest for kissing Bollywood actress Shilpa Shetty at an AIDS campaign event
source: news.scotsman.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Actual headline: How much abuse can Katie Couric take? Unfortunately, it's not the title of a new pr0n flick, just the MSM fellating itself
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Examiner)
 
 
 
Woman who stole lawyer's identity to sneak into prison to have sex pleads guilty, sort of. "There was never any sexual intercourse. There was no thrusting whatsoever"
source: examiner.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
The ex-commander of the U.S. military prison in Baghdad has been arrested. Was it for: A) Allowing mistreatment/torture of detainees? Or B) Boning a local and having naked pictures of her on his cellphone?
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(charleston gazette)
 
 
 
A student bent over at the waist with the pelvis of another individual pressed against his or her buttocks while holding the bent-over student's waist or hips is prohibited at all times where dancing is permitted
source: wvgazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop these prisoners playing cards
source: img.photobucket.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sheboygan Press)
 
 
 
Man with dementia attacks dog with mallet. What the dog was doing with a mallet we'll never know
source: sheboygan-press.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Nine News)
 
 
 
"The scam was uncovered when Japanese movie star Maiko Kawamaki went on a talk-show and wondered why her new pet would not bark or eat dog food. She was crestfallen when told it was a sheep"
source: news.ninemsn.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Prince Harry will quit the army if they don't let him kill the bad guys. Thousands of U.S. soldiers now claim to be royalty
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Stephen Hawking set to experience zero gravity in a special airplane. His plan during flight is to to sit still and not move a muscle
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Plaintiff)
 
 
 
Man sues railway after his truck is hit by a train. If only they'd keep these trains on some sort of tracked system, he might have known where to look
source: thechronicleherald.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Drew will be on the "Bob & Tom Show: this morning. Also: Indy Fark party tonight 8:00 p.m. Crackers Broad Ripple
source: bobandtom.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Imaginary narcotics officers chase druggy up a tree, forcing him to call not-so-imaginary officers for rescue
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
What the world really needs: Boots that let you hang upside-down on subway trains
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(London Times)
 
 
 
New horror movie shows grandmothers drugging and abusing kids in Satanic sex ritual. Wait, that's no movie
source: timesonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Denver Post)
 
 
 
Washington fire commissioner charged with assaulting fellow fire commissioner with the classic coffee-mug-on-the-head wrestling move. Won't someone stop this commissioner-on-commissioner violence?
source: denverpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pittsburgh Live)
 
 
 
Pittsburgh is ranked the most livable city, again. "And we did it by being average"
source: pittsburghlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(nbc10)
 
 
 
Bush raises awareness for malaria, proves just how white he is in dance with African troupe (with video)
source: nbc10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Zimbabwe man makes snake magically appear in police station to escape arrest
source: newzimbabwe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
Taking a tractor to prom? In ND, it's a classy thing to do
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Councillor who criticized shipwreck looters is accused of looting shipwreck
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Free hugs guy inspires Japanese to hug
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Toilet on the head.... honestly, who hasn't been there?
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Latest country to not let Snoop Dogg enter is Australia... izzle
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Final call: Redneck Fark party, Asheville, this Saturday. DIT
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this rutabaga, mmmmkay?
source: botany.cs.tamu.edu   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSB TV)
 
 
 
Georgia woman pulls a Jennifer Wilbanks by reappearring a week after police start searching for her. Now may be charged with the cost of the police search
source: wsbtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Actual headline: "My teenage boyfriend cheated on me with teacher, says mother of three"
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Egyptian doctor says Muslims need to get laid
source: edition.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(unco.edu)
 
 
 
The following people are banned from the University of Northern Colorado's campus because, well, just because. (With pics )
source: unco.edu   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Continue redesign discussion here; read first post first though
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KLBJ 590 AM)
 
 
 
You're annoyed about two guys playing "dorm golf" in your dorm. Do you: A) Contact the RA? B) Contact campus police? C) Pull out a pair of nunchuks and start whaling on them?
source: 590klbj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 103: "In a Mood." Difficulty: No animals, no self-portraits in mirrors. LGT next week's theme. Read first post
source: farktography.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Wed April 25, 2007
(Atlanta Journal Constitution)
 
 
 
Have you ever wanted to give blood and get a free puppy? Well now you can
source: ajc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Busy couples only have ten minutes a day to talk. Men ask, "This is a problem?"
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Potency of marijuana continues to increase every year
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC13)
 
 
 
Tuscaloosa, Alabama schools release their new sex-ed curriculum: a seven minute DVD that tells fifth graders not to do drugs, drink or have sex. This should end well
source: nbc13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Little girl receives condom in Happy Meal, that's not what she meant by "hold the pickle"
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Student to graduate college in shorter period than it takes most students to sober up from orientation week
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark site redesign is now live. Hope nothing breaks, we're all out drinking
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsday)
 
 
 
World renowned cat expert killed when his motorcycle swerves off the road and crashes. Since you're reading this on Fark, you probably already know what he was swerving to avoid
source: newsday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Herald (IL))
 
 
 
Double-duty for Florida tag: Florida man arrested for illegally performing dental work in his filthy garage, which means there were Floridians who thought it a good idea to get dental work there
source: dailyherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Horizon Academy at Marion Oaks school board refuses to change the school's name despite the worries by some parents that it's offensive to homophobes that can't spell
source: wcjb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop these gentlemen and their racing car
source: mcfull.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Hillbilly)
 
 
 
Montana House Majority Leader calls Governor an "S.O.B.", tells him to "go to Hell", and instructs him to "stick it up his ass". All in a days work at the Hillbilly House of Representatives
source: greatfallstribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WGAL)
 
 
 
Today's deer caught on surveillance camera rampaging through nursing home brought to you by New Oxford, Pa
source: wgal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Lightning blamed for fire at church. No one apparently wants to blame the wrath of an angry God
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
I'm shocked, shocked, to find that 70% of teen mobile phone data contains pron... in Saudi
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deadspin)
 
 
 
Hey, Mr. James Filiaggi, any last words before the state of Ohio puts you to death for killing your wife? "When the Browns are in the Super Bowl in the next five years, you'll know I'm up there doing my magic."
source: deadspin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
The Lord is my shepherd...I shall have low bail
source: news.cincinnati.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Chuck Norris blames, "our graphic slasher media" as a reason for the VT massacre. On a side note: submitter just bought "Missing in Action," "The Hitman," and "Forced Vengeance" off eBay
source: wnd.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Times Argus)
 
 
 
Bush and Cheney impeachment resolution rejected by the House of Comrades of the People's Republic of Vermont
source: timesargus.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Court rules that Texas A&M officials cannot be held responsible for deaths of students in bonfire collapse. In other news, A&M announces that students will once again be able to erect dangerous structures with no oversight
source: ktbs.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Denver Channel)
 
 
 
If you lose a pot pipe on your schoolbus, it's probably best to just write it off
source: thedenverchannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
CNN anchor Anderson Cooper showers in his boxer briefs at the gym so no one can photograph his very heterosexual weener
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Taliban official says February bombing at Bagram was targeted at Cheney. Despite the fact that Cheney is still alive, he calls the mission a success. Talk about setting a low bar for yourself
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TPM)
 
 
 
News: NY Post writes hit piece on Democrats and Harry Reid. Not News: Labels article as AP story, which later AP subsequently denies. Fark: Article author also says it looks nothing like the piece he wrote
source: talkingpointsmemo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Seattle Times)
 
 
 
Seattle Mayor cancels press conference to highlight major improvements to city roads because of a major water main break caused by the road construction crew
source: seattletimes.nwsource.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Breitbart.com)
 
 
 
Top British scientists solve the mystery of why the head on a pint of regular beer disappears but the head on a pint of Guinness stays. In other news, still no cure for cancer
source: breitbart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(San Francisco 49ers)
 
 
 
University of Virginia expresses regret for use of slaves. Uh....thanks?
source: content.hamptonroads.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Snopes)
 
 
 
Woman from this morning's thread that blamed global warming on daylight savings time turns out to be a lawyer. Followup tag beats scary by about an hour
source: snopes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AMNews)
 
 
 
Why won't the damn traffic light change?
source: amnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Denver Post)
 
 
 
'Look who's smoking and flipping off the camera while naked, too' pictures approved by authorities
source: denverpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Honolulu Advertiser)
 
 
 
New Age tourists leaving offerings to the goddess Pele on the rim of Halema'uma'u Crater are annoying the hell out of native Hawaiians and killing the island's wildlife
source: honoluluadvertiser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WESH 2)
 
 
 
When robbing store with AK-47, don't leave behind receipt for the rifle
source: wesh.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Scotsman)
 
 
 
Real Headline: TV ads boost eating of obese children by 130%. What kind of soulless bastard eats obese children?
source: news.scotsman.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buffalo News)
 
 
 
If you work for Homeland Security, you probably shouldn't be helping illegal aliens to find jobs as massage parlor prostitutes in your spare time
source: buffalonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Man dresses as Capt. America, stuffs burrito down his pants, gropes women. The Smoking Gun is there
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
House: Miss Monica Goodling, what did you know about the firing of the eight attorneys. Monica Goodling: I invoke my Fifth Amendment rights against self-incrimination. House: You've got immunity, please get ready to sing
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Charleston SC charity poker tounament may be cancelled because it's illegal to play any game using cards or dice in South Carolina (exept Backgammon, and Whist)
source: charleston.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Show)
 
 
 
Jon Stewart singlehandedly ends McCain's presidential chances
source: comedycentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Network executives --who apparently don't actually watch TV-- are stumped as to why ratings are down this month
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Pirate attacks down sharply so far this year. Ninja attacks difficult to gauge, since ya know, they are ninjas
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Shreveport Times)
 
 
 
Today on Double-Take Theater: Shreveport, Louisiana mayor, who is black, dismisses requests by two black activists to withdraw a proclamation that recognizes April as "Confederate Heritage Month"
source: shreveporttimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Centre Daily Times)
 
 
 
Man charged with DUI on way to DUI court hearing
source: centredaily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Charleston Gazette)
 
 
 
If you plan to beat someone with a pool cue, try to make sure it's the right person
source: wvgazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(11 Alive)
 
 
 
In a display of undeniable class, woman keeps her pet goat inside her minivan. Goat unavailable for comment, roller-coaster ride
source: 11alive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Submitter embraces Democratic Party on news that they want to make online gambling legal again
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS2.com - KCBS Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Opening statements to begin in Phil Spector case... oooh but what will his HAIR look like this time?
source: cbs2.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(green pants)
 
 
 
Photoshop this five-year-old raver
source: i3.photobucket.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Four-year-old calls emergency number, tells them his name, address and phone number and to get the hell there quickly. Mother lives. Hero tag swells with pride
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Remember that tainted pet food? It's also been used as livestock feed, which means it's in our food supply now. EVERYBODY PANIC
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Fark TV has made the CNN main page. It's not CNN, it's Fark TV
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Three-in-four Americans say they like leaders who are willing to compromise. Two-thirds also say they like politicians who stick to their positions. Irony tag asplodes
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Harry Potter Land coming to Florida. Confused Lord Voldemort spotted circling area in left lane with blinker on
source: dailyrecord.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KUTV Utah)
 
 
 
Man blows his house to bits in failed suicide attempt... however he did succeed in earning the day's best mug shot, sporting singed eyebrows and beard
source: kutv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
University of Virginia student thinks it would be a bright idea to shoot a video on campus where he brandishes a replica gun. The police disagree
source: dailyprogress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Register)
 
 
 
It was only a matter of time before Jesus Christ showed up on Google Earth. No word on when he'll be back, though
source: theregister.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Iwon)
 
 
 
Legendary metal band Spinal Tap to reform, perform at Wembley Stadium as part of Live Earth concerts. No word on who the drummer will be
source: apnews1.iwon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
New study finds children who believe in God, Santa behave better then children who don't. Subgroup 'Beaten' still win however
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
"Tornado Kills 6 In TX" - Officials hope the worst is over, but are remaining vigilant for any signs of a Cosmic Goat
source: kxan.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Anti-GM potato protestors sabotage wrong field, even though farmer politely points out to them that the field is full of beans
source: indymedia.org.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS2.com - KCBS Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Facing a pole and rack shortage, Santa Monica now offers valet service for your bicycle. Sucker signs cost extra
source: cbs2.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Hot Air)
 
 
 
Rosie O'Donnell to announce today she's leaving "The View." There goes 20 percent of Fark's "Dumbass" tag greenlights
source: hotair.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NY Daily News)
 
 
 
NYC Mayor Bloomberg's plan to go green gets Gored after the press discovers the city leaves their office lights on when nobody is home
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oregonian)
 
 
 
Include some white powder in your complaint letter and the media will be sure to let you know it arrived safely
source: oregonlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Denver Channel)
 
 
 
Today's "house filled with foot-deep feces" comes to us from Niwot, CO. Bonus: Woman hoards horses
source: thedenverchannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ESA)
 
 
 
If you think you can come up with the ideal playlist to frustrate astronauts in the ISS, ESA wants to hear from you (voting enabled)
source: esa.int   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(dowjones.com)
 
 
 
Dow Jones topples 13000 mark on news that Rosie O'Donnell is leaving "The View"
source: djindexes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Lawyers for corrupt defense contractor ask for his indictments to be dismissed, saying he was unfairly indicted by a US attorney desperate to keep her job
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AFP)
 
 
 
Scientist's have concluded that intelligence is not linked to wealth. Neither is penis size, acting ability, good manners, or ability to give a damn
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
New Jersey court rules there is no public policy reason against rehiring a toll-taker who fired a paintball gun at a vehicle. Hero tag because we've all wanted to do it
source: biz.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Indiana officials investigating Tuesday's riot state recent inmate increase, privilege cutbacks as causes; inmates blame yesterday's FARK thread failing to support the Natalie Portman clam slam theory
source: prisonpolicy.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Miss America would love to IM with you, so long as you're a pedo looking to star on the next episode of Dateline
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
This is why men don't lift the seat, they're dangerous
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Golgafrinchamian)
 
 
 
Earth-like planet may be able to support life; expedition to be sent in giant rocket containing hairdressers, architects, telephone sanitation operatives
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Union)
 
 
 
"At 11:11 a.m., a caller from the 23000 block of St. Helena Drive reported that during the night someone had dumped a large amount of blood on her fence line and tied a dead turkey there." And so it begins
source: theunion.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Man severely burned after using a vacuum to remove gasoline from his car
source: moultrieobserver.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Aftenposten.no)
 
 
 
Good idea: Appeal your jail term. Bad result: Court finds your original sentence too lenient
source: aftenposten.no   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wired)
 
 
 
The first half of the month-long celebration of Star Wars' 30th anniversary begins today. The second half will begin a couple of decades later in spectacularly disappointing fashion
source: wired.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
USC students wrestle gun away from threatening fellow student. CNN, Fox, etc. sad over missed opportunity for saturation coverage of grieving but undeniably hot USC coeds
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Rattlesnake meat capsules may be tainted with salmonella. So, uh... avoid rattlesnake meat capsules
source: alertnet.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Contra Costa Times)
 
 
 
Old and busted: Hot female teachers busted for sleeping with their students. New and uncool: Hot female teachers busted for attempting to seduce their students via IM. With pic goodness
source: contracostatimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Sparks Tribune)
 
 
 
Acceptable: Applying for CCW at police station. Not acceptable: Filling the building with your marijuana stank. Farktastic: Bringing bags of weed, joints and rolling papers along for the ride
source: charlotte.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this MAC250 wash light
source: martin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Local6)
 
 
 
Apparently, Florida's state senate has nothing better to do than think about naughty, naughty schoolgirls who wear their pants so low that you can see their thongs, and how they must be punished
source: local6.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Asked to describe her client -- the VA Tech shooter -- in three words, local stripper responds with "dorky," "timid" and a "little pushy"
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Local6)
 
 
 
Not news: Student and teacher have sex. Fark: In a van. Florida: At church
source: local6.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Asshats are paying £400 for shopping bag that costs £5 (with pic)
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Philly.com)
 
 
 
Car dealer who swindled Nicolas Cage gets five-year jail term, yet Cage still has yet to face justice for taking submitter's $8 with "Wicker Man"
source: philly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lexington Herald Leader)
 
 
 
Car thief arrested after police matched his DNA to the half-eaten cinnamon bun he left in the car
source: kentucky.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Four Queen's Guards get drunk, film themselves spanking each other while naked. The Sun is there. With a link to the video (article not safe for work)
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(JSOnline)
 
 
 
Wisconsin DMV spends $18 million to upgrade its computer system to eliminate the three-week delay in mailing out new license plates. After the upgrade, the wait is now seven weeks
source: jsonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
Now your pet can browse fake online profiles looking for a date
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter