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Sun February 18, 2007
Why are Dutch children so happy? And why do they eat so many Doritos?
Kids' drawings illustrated by professional artists
Hallmark produces cards for cancer, eating disorders, depression. Still no cure for the first one
(colorado springs gazette)
Ugly-ass baby gorilla born at Colorado Springs Zoo
Indian government to set up cradles where parents can leave unwanted baby girls for adoption, recycling
Search for missing teen uncovers dozens of cars sunk at bottom of local canals. "It's ridiculous, the number of cars in the water"
Old and busted: Trans-fats. New hotness: Sodium
So far this weekend, 13 airplanes at Denver International Airport have been found with cracked windshields and nobody knows why
Study finds using marijuana is no longer cool (with cartoon for validation)
"Some people make the argument that exposing children to words such as scrotum will corrupt their minds and turn them into tiny little turbo-sexual horror children"
Evolution and the Big Bang were ideas created by Kabbalah. And you thought creationist ideas were crazy before
Uncharacteristically lucid and intelligent commentary on the Sunni/Shi'a divide brought to you by Fox News. Wait .. what??
Scary statue of Jesus shoots sparks, puts people into a trance (pic)
"The direct exposure would be if kids were putting their lunch boxes in their mouth, which isn't a common way for children to interact with their lunch box"
You deserve a bomb today. Blast rocks St. Petersburg McDonalds
Gate 14.....Gate 15.....Gate 16.....
Apple CEO Steve Jobs: "I believe that what is wrong with our schools in this nation is that they have become unionized in the worst possible way."
University pool closed after special-needs swim class diarrhea incident. Mother of participant complains "it's hard to have to deal with a situation like this when you're trying to bring some regularity into their world."
Fake marketing campaign for fake drug used to effectively treat fake mental disorder surprisingly effective
Soccer mom convicted of using a missile in road-rage incident
Photoshop these ugly-ass penguins
WTF did I just take a picture of? I thought it was a planet, but it looks really weird
12-year-old Scotch may be the greatest alcohol, but 12-year-old Brits are the greatest alcoholics
Fun Fact of the Day from Wiki - house dust is made up of approx. 70% dead human skin. Ugh
Official 2007 Daytona 500 Rocket Fuel Spectacular Discussion Thread
Introducing the latest auto theft deterrent: The Eye of Sauron tesla coil
What video game character are you? Take this quiz and find out
The history of condoms, discreetly packaged and delivered right to your monitor
Yesterday's health fad now being feared as unhealthy: tea tree oil. Bonus: it's a likely culprit behind man boobs
The emergency lane is for emergency stopping only - if you need to get laid go rent a room
Arizona attempts to ban naked-lady mudflaps
Three-toed robbers who aren't really deceased, idiot informants, and prison escapees who aren't really the brightest crayons in the box
Remember the couple that caged their adopted kids? Yeah, they got two years
Tree used to make London Gin more endangered than teeth of drinkers
(Monsters and Critics)
Austrian designer decides that nude photos of herself aren't provocative enough, decides to do them at a Nazi death camp
Research shows that the most popular date rape drug in spiked drinks is dihydrogenous monoxide
Models are dropping like flys........tiny little underfed flies
The craziest and most disturbing scavenger hunt ever has been created by Oberlin College students. "Apparently overcoming the nakedness manages to bring a lot of people together"
Discussions of an "airline passengers Bill of Rights" starting again over recent weather woes. What rights do YOU want to see immortalized? (With voting)
The Top 25 Strangest Houses
The coolest photos of the tallest hotel in the world you will see today
An asteroid named Apophis, has a 1 in 45,000 chance of striking Earth on April 13, 2036. EVERYBODY PANIC
Hillary can't win? Don't kid yourself
Photoshop this excited Colts fan
Elderly man crashes van into cell phone store. "Can you steer me now?"
Remember Rep. William Jefferson - the guy caught with $90,000 in his freezer amid a bribery probe? Pelosi's putting him on the Homeland Security panel
"Beer King" and founder of Three Dollar Deweys has died; pour some out for Alan D. Eames
If you stole a minivan in Wichita yesterday, you should turn yourself in before the boxing team you swiped it from figures out where you are
(NY Daily News)
Mental health experts weighing in on Britney freakout: "I think what you are seeing is her anger being turned against herself" says Dr. Noshiat Sherlock
Several Portland Starbucks closed due to vandalism. Residents seen mumbling as they cross the street to get a coffee at Starbucks
Los Angeles Fark Party Friday March 9th; Potential guest appearance, name rhymes with "Brew"
(Jacksonville Daily News)
In the realm of unnecessary medical procedures, removing fat from your ass and injecting it into your feet reigns supreme
Hooters launching energy drink. Cans will be mostly plastic and only half full
Photoshop this cat armour
Oregon vets remove elephant's infected tusk with a chain saw. Your dentist is intrigued, would like to know if he can subscribe to their newsletter
Happy Chinese New Year, 新年快樂
Bush expected to nominate anti-safety regulation lobbyist to head Consumer Product Safety Commission. Forks soon to fit more easily into electrical sockets
Why British women go off sex (unlike the French and Germans)
Sat February 17, 2007
Cancer joins pretzels as no threat to the President
Cool Picture of the Day: Elevator Floor Illusion
What do you miss most about being a kid?
New "Ghost Chili" clocks in at over 1,000,000 Scovilles. Behold, the merciless peppers of Quetzlzacatenango Grown deep in the jungle primeval by the inmates of a Guatemalan insane asylum
Skateboarding is not a crime. Also, neither is chairswording
How to stop junk mail from coming to your house. Up next how to stop spam e-mails
Multi-millionaires creating traffic gridlock in the skies. And you thought weather and crappy airline service was to blame (link not working - article pasted in first post)
Photoshop this airborne dog
Survey of American public's scientific knowledge reveals improved familiarity with basic science, and declining belief in alien abduction, astrology, Bigfoot, and evolution
When to replace common household items
Parents of kid who loves "Band of Brothers" throw theme birthday party with WWII costumes, music and a visit from real WWII veterans. Outraged parents flood paper with e-mail; outraged kids wish their parents were that cool
(Some pissed coffee shop guy)
In other free drink news; catch a robber and get coffee for a year. Trifecta in play
"How To Find A Man Using Feng Shui". Unless "feng shui" mean "oral sex" in Chinese, submitter doubts the effectiveness
Terrifying sentence : "When the doctor took a look at me and discovered I'd split a testicle - I was in surgery within 90 minutes"
Make a throne for your hamburger out of french fries and ketchup. Thanks Germany
Duck born with 4 legs. Colonel Sanders buys duck for KFC breeding experiment
Radio talk-show host on gospel station says Scientology enhances his Christianity. Wait till he gets to the part with the volcanoes
Five ways to hustle free drinks. Cool, amusing, spiffy tags also work here
The International Hedgehog club. Awwwwwwww
West Virginia takes first step to approve Table Games. "We will become known as the Las Vegas of the East." Unlikely tag explodes
An "unusually large hole" mysteriously appeared in the ice of a frozen pond in northern Latvia, and local villagers have reported seeing "strange things" in the area
Man who just bought some cheap land in Portugal finds out that the included barn contains a huge collection of vintage cars (with pics goodness)
Missing cow prompts full-scale search and rescue operation
Common houseplants you shouldn't eat
How television fails the American public
"A photographic record of a vehicle violating traffic control laws may not be used as the basis for issuing a citation for such violations."
Today's "female teacher accused of having sex with a student" brought to you by Howard County, Maryland. (w/pic)
Marijuana can do a great many things, but apparently "score ski lift tickets at Vail" is not one of them
Yorkshire police make plea: "We need bigger guns. Bigger farking guns"
(Fire Rescue 1)
Firefighters arrive to put out house fire, are dismayed to discover that the homeowner--who is naked and covered in magic marker--wants to fight them
Due to spending cuts, the head of the Royal Navy predicts that the UK will have a fleet the same size as Belgium's
If you've spent 20 years in prison, you might want to buy some new clothes before you start robbing banks again. Bonus: it was a Members Only jacket that got this guy recognized
(Some Scared Guys)
Tire shop employees freak out after seeing giant rat. "It was pretty humorous. Here were these big, burly outdoors guys running around screaming"
Dog-sledder stops during race to save one of his dogs by performing CPR
Today's Iron Photoshop ingredient: Pirates. Arrrr...
Drunk sheep shearer pranks neighbor by herding a flock of sheep into his house and locking them in for twelve hours. Which would have been pretty funny if the sheep didn't need to go to the bathroom after three
Man enjoying a porn movie in the comfort of his own home alarmed when neighbor with sword kicks down his door and demands to know where the girl is
UN to decide who will be in charge when an asteroid hits the Earth
Police responding to broken pipe call find mummified body in lounge chair with TV still on
A twenty-one click salute: inventor of TV remote is muted, turned off
Sharkfin Noodle, Horseflesh, and Black Beer are just a few wonderful flavors of Japanese ice cream
Ghost moose has been haunting Maine for 100 years
Tourism official in Victoria defends ad that promises a "perfect orgasm". Talking openly about orgasms? That's not very Victorian
Never bring a hammer to a mushy pea fight
British hospital misses patient's cancer on 50 visits in a row. He would have gone back for visit 51, but he died. Anyone still alive across the pond: how's that socialized health care working out?
More cargo washes ashore from grounded freighter off Britain, this time thousands of chocolate bars. At wits end, police consider plan to intentionally wreck containers full of toothpaste and fresh vegetables to scare off looters
Bush has two moles removed from forehead; other two remain on White House staff
From the people who brought you "Intelligent Design" and "War on Christmas" comes their new hit "The Sun Revolves Around the Earth"
No, you cannot have botulism-tainted snack foods. Nachos
Flanders celebrates thick sweater day. Homer Simpson laughs, mocks
Charcoal grills should not be used to heat homes
Greenhouse gases reach record levels helped by Asian industry. Asia says it was the dog
Not news: woman finally has power restored to her home after hurricane. Fark.com: Hurricane Andrew, 1992
Photoshop these desperate Russian housewives
Pastor wants 132-foot cross erected near highway. Zoning board: Hell no. Pastor: 110-feet. Zoning board: Get bent. Pastor: 99-feet. Zoning board and hate group: Cram it. Pastor: Alright Goddamit; 48 1/2. Everyone: That'll work
(Some Rhode Islander)
Rhode Island Fark Party / P-Bruins game combo event: Friday, March 16th DIT, LGT game info
If Fark were a real place, where should it be located? (Link goes to possible address)
Tony Blair admits he is a huge Black Sabbath fan. Yeah, that War Pigs tune is great when you get to live it
Fri February 16, 2007
Sandcastles explode in reverse. King Friday looks nervous, installs metal detector on the red trolley
What's Leo gonna tell Jack?
Dorito prices rise to $20 a barrel on news of the Nepal king's motorcade getting stoned during Hindu festival
Disney pays two women to sue for rights to "Winnie the Pooh," it's enough to get eeyore in a bad mood
Women's desks contain 3 times the bacteria, 7 times the mold compared to men's desks. Think about that next time you get kinky on the job
Lien placed against 1400 Magic Kingdom Drive, aka, Cinderella's Castle
Over-$20 bottles of fifteen-year-old "vintage" beer becoming "next cool thing" at upscale restaurants. Submitter dusts off old six-packs of Dad's Busch in preparation
DirecTV decides the best way to sell its HD service is to show Burt Reynolds naked
Woman takes storm chasing to the next level when she is sucked into a storm and spat out 40 miles later
Greeting card company removes an eCard from its website depicting House Speaker Nancy Pelosi and other leading Democrats wearing 'bondage'-related clothing, admits it has been very bad, needs punishment
Cafe gives Alzheimer's patients safe place to gather. In other news, cafe gives Alzheimer's patients safe place to gather, which reminds me of this cafe where
Photoshop this gloomy room
If you're going to toss around laxative-laced brownies at your high school and give them to teachers, don't be surprised if you end up tossing some salad behind bars
Anti-gay Mass(hole) State Senator who read kids' obscenity laden Facebook messages at school assembly did a Playgirl style centerfold back in 1982. But it was totally straight. Not gay
Posthumous Mother-of-the-Year: Anna Nicole Smith's will leaves everything to her dead son and intentionally omits her five-month old daughter
Price of crude oil drops below $58/barrel because...flips last Tarot card...pictures surface of Lydia Hearst naked in public
NBA star Jason Kidd's estranged wife just filed the most vicious divorce petition you'll ever read. And The Smoking Gun is there
Gullibility, thy name is Paraguay. Country swallows woman's story that her husband was eaten by a 30 foot snake. Bonus: species she picked maxes out at 12 ft, and the husband ran away from her
TFarker Ronin's video "Dark Dragon: Science of Seduction" is one of the finalists in a $1000 challenge on NBC's "It's Your Show". Help out a fellow farker by checking out the videos and voting
Hugo Chavez to nationalize grocery stores because they will not sell products at a loss due to his economic policies
Local news channel's latest fear mongering story: Police called to malls thousands of times a year. EVERYONE PANIC
College students donate blood to get drunk faster
MIT attention whore ends hunger strike
If you dropped a sink on I-95, go back and get it
Man beaten into vegetative state emerges from 6 year coma, looks at nurse, and says "it hurts."
In a move certain not to help the state's incestuous stereotype, Alabama court states it is "unlawful for any person to knowingly distribute any device useful primarily for the stimulation of human genital organs."
Man defending his home by shooting and killing a burglar will not be charged. In related news, Submitter plans to invite his ex-wife over for dinner later tonight
Nine people shot in less than seven hours in New Orleans; or as submitter calls it, "Friday"
Killed deputy to the formerly injured leader of al-Qa'eda in Iraq now not dead. Bonus: Iraqi deputy interior minister denies that any of this happened
For those of you who had February 15th as the day Britney checked in to rehab, congratulations. For those of you who had the 16th as when she checked out, claim your prize
In another step towards furthering their campaign promises, Dems to pass their first piece of symbolic, do-nothing legislation: non-binding censure of the Iraq war
Filipino hottie Michelle Malkin has replaced Anne Coulter as America's sexiest right-wing propagandist
Actual headline: "Paris Hilton looks bored at Vienna Ball". Which brings to 12,345,678 the results returned when you google the words "Paris Hilton" and "Ball(s)"
Newspaper accidentally links tons of porn sites instead of bloggers comments. What could possibly go wrong?
Reminder: Denver Fark Party Saturday 8pm. LGT Restaurant. DIT
Volkwagen figures out the best way to sell its cars is not to run ads showing its customer base as mentally deranged and suicidal
Step 1: Get gastric bypass. Step 2: Bleed internally. Step 3: Profit, with the help of Tom Brady
Father of 12 tells wife he's going out for a cup of coffee and is never seen again. Five years later, FBI finds him. Agents won't tell wife where he is cause he doesn't want to come home. That must be some cup of coffee
Man who hijacked airline turns out to be the only person on plane who didn't speak French. Hero pilot tells passengers the French equivalent of 'Hold my beer and watch this' before jamming on the brakes while landing
Step 1: Lose a few billion in 2006. Step 2: Spend a few billion more to buy a company that lost a few billion. Step 3: Profit (GM to buy Chrysler?)
Walter Mondale's boyhood home for sale on eBay. Seller only managed to get offers from Minnesotans, everyone else bid on Reagan's home
Spike TV strikes deal with Major League Eating to show four competitive eating events this year, proving there actually is a network with lower standards than Fox
(Daytona Beach News-Journal)
NASCAR fans drink Daytona-bound Boeing 717 out of beer and vodka...by 10:15 AM
New York State moving to ban spinning rims on cars. Chris Rock unavailable for comment
(Crooks & Liars)
With boths sides resting, here's a simple recap of the Scooter Libby trial: all roads lead to the White House
As evidence that the "Surge" is working; officials note that only 10 murdered bodies were found this morning instead of the usual 40-50
NYC Fark Party this Saturday LGT Location, DIT
France's 400th birthday gift to Quebec City, an artistic representation of an imaginary cross between a cow and a caribou, criticized for being "biologically inaccurate"
Rudy Giuliani's travel rider. TSG is there
(NBC 2 Naples)
City trash service interrupted when thieves leave local trash truck and recycling truck up on blocks
Bad: Thieves steal $3000 sculpture from local park. Good: Police recover stolen sculpture. Fark: Recovered sculpture is mistaken for trash and thrown away
(NY Daily News)
New York Catholic leaders slam NY's plan to distribute 18 million free condoms, noting that a grown man can't get a little boy pregnant anyway so what's the point?
What's the best way to get out of class: A - Skip? B - Pull fire alarm? or C - Report seeing person dressed as Batman run across campus, jump fence and disappear into desert?
The annual Rio de Janeiro Carnival marred by string of killings and, of course, the monkey problem is getting worse
Shuttle crew not distracted by scandal. If your job is to work for an incompetent agency and sit on a giant bottlerocket built by the low bidder, some pee-pants tart boiling rabbits on your co-worker's stove is small potatoes
Al Gore, environmentalist, film maker, and level 12 vice president, plans to add concert promoter to his resume
University of Illinois ends Chief Illiniwek's run. To be replaced with pink Nerf foam sculpture of people of all races and creeds holding hands under a rainbow
Photoshop this Kansas basketball coach and his assistant
Naked jogger says he'll miss the "liberating feeling" of running with no clothes on, but yeah, the tickets for indecent exposure suck
Fark TV: The day nothing went right. Includes finding Obama, lady on lady action, shaving the fur bikini, and bad accents by random people. Mature content warning for F-word usage
Genius historical citations continue in congress. Imagine, if you will, how bad things would have gone at the Alamo if the government told Crockett we wouldn't be providing any more troops. Thank God that didn't happen
U.S. says Mexico can have "Dog" the bounty hunter - details of the handover sketchy, but said to include 17 billion Chiclets
Injured leader of al-Qa'eda in Iraq now not injured. Bonus: He wasn't even at the fighting
Caption this karaoke kitty
Man calls police after returning to his apartment to discover that the walls had been painted and someone cleaned out the refrigerator and polished the mirrors, but left all his valuables untouched
Every guy has screwed up Valentine's Day at least once, but most guys don't lose a penis over it
(Asian Image UK)
Man told he can't take his bottle of vodka on flight because it exceeds restrictions on fluids. Man decides to drink the whole bottle to get around restriction. Hilarity ensues
Child care forced to move after liquor store opens up next door. "It is not so much the products that are sold here...but rather the type of people who are drawn to this liquor store"
Man builds robot to clear snow from his driveway. Wife still complains
Welsh chip shop hopes to have fried its way into the Guinness records book for the world's largest bag of chips -- weighing in at 400kg
Church dubs Scientology the "Kabbalah of 2007," ignoring history's previous title "Jonestown of 1978"
Why Iranian bombs are labeled in English
Two teens dig a secret snow tunnel in a church parking lot. Which was totally awesome until the snowplow came along when they were still in it
Save the Whalers
Neighbors offended by old naked guy, want him off his lawn (pics)
North Korea celebrates Kim Jong Il's 65th birthday. One man executed after re-gifting a pair of stilts
Tigger gets off. Pooh and Piglet no longer needed as character witnesses
Officials hope loanly 17 year old male from Cleveland will impregnate Cincinnati's 7 and 8 year old females
Two women in SUVs get in fight at Taco Bell drive-thru, one gets gonged with a Louisville Slugger
Malaysia has two major crime problems, purse snatching and illegal racing. Solution: give the biker gangs new motorcycles for every 30 purse snatchers they catch
(The Santa Clara)
"South of the Border" party sparks outrage in Santa Clara. Aunt Jemima unavailable for comment
(NY Daily News)
Anna Nicole may receive posthumous Mother of the Year award: instructed nanny to underfeed her baby so it'd be "sexy"
Women should wear chastity belts to prevent rape, incest and other sex crimes
84-year-old woman discovers the fountain of youth; unfortunately, in an 11-year-old boy's pants
(Some Old Guy)
Four words that will make you throw up in your mouth a little: speed dating for seniors
Not News: Guy takes nudie pic of himself with cell phone in mirror. News: Well lookie here, he just happens to be the friendly neighborhood policeman. Fark: Oops, the naked friendly neighborhood policeman is the hottest screen saver in town
Ric Romero now doing research at UCSF, reports that teenage girls feel guilty and used after sex. Submitter feels guilty after using this article
Margaret Thatcher finally gets an erection
(rocky mountain news)
If you get mad at your girlfriend, don't put her pet fish in the garbage disposal. She hates that. Strangely enough, so do cops
"I'm telling you, Honey Bunny, no more robbing liquor stores. You get your head blown off sticking up one of them"
Florist gets warning from cops after posting "inappropriate" words suggesting people should have buttsecks on Valentine's Day. "It seems ridiculous," says florist, 36, who may not be unfamiliar with the practice
Paraglider freezes to death after storm pulls him in with suction to rival your mom's
Man win $25,000 lottery two days in a row
Crystal City, Texas, residents see Jesus on a stick ... er, tree branch (w/photo goodness)
(Some Llama Llover)
Photoshop this lleaping llama
Remember the dino egg nest that sold for a record $420,000? Well it was just seized by customs agents because apparently they were illegally stolen from China. Oops
Justice Department leaks its own talking points to reporters. Rule number one about the talking points is...
Christian pediatrician denies child service because parents are tattooed. You know, just like Jesus would have done
Australian livestock export corporation has warned that banning the exporting of live sheep could have a detrimental effect on farmers' profits, marriages
Disaster threatens in tragic cliché collision when a dog wants the turtle it saw; quick-thinking veterinarian saves both animals
Customer takes pictures of mice inside bakery display case. Store complains, says it's illegal to take photos in their store (with mousy pic goodness)
Woman suing after wrong ovary was removed during surgery. Doctors retort that you can't make an omelette without breaking a few eggs
Pub owner who threw out two lesbian cops for making out cleared of criminal wrongdoing, found guilty in court of public opinion of not taping hot, hot lesbo cop action and posting it
A pleasantly diverting reflex game; touch the blue ball to the blue square, don't touch the red dots
Guy who was fined $2,500 for illegally cutting down public trees without permission throws a hissy fit because other people who actually get permission to cut down trees don't get in trouble for it
16 year old student arrested for "An alleged plot to cause death and destruction inside two Connecticut high schools". He was caught because a classmate discovered videos of his plans on YouTube
Thu February 15, 2007
Frikkin' space lasers discover giant lakes, ancient alien temples under Antarctic ice
Behold the power of vodka: Australian man gets loaded and catches four-foot shark with his bare hands. Crikey
Russia to ban alcohol on all planes. Looks like I picked the right week to quit drinking
Truck full of marijuana crashes, spills its load all over the road. Hundreds of stoners heading to the area, as soon as they figure out where they left their keys
Radiation warnings for Dummies. Your tax dollars at work
Hundreds of motorists stranded in 50-mile backup on interstate. National Guard responds within 24 hours with blankets and supplies, because it was so much worse than sitting on rooftops during a flood or something
Mayorial candidate boosts campaign by putting up poster of male genitals with the words "ëat me" on it
Man knowns as 'Houdini in jail' sentenced to death for prison killing. Let's see him get out of this one
Firefighters bring cooked hamster named Christmas back to life with oxygen mask and blackcurrant juice
Give us your poor, your tired, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free...hey, not so fast Anne Frank
(Some Guy in Riverside)
Nurse famously kissed by sailor in Times Square at end of World War II still honoring veterans
Photoshop theme: Drew's birthday party
Hershey kisses 1,500 employees goodbye
If your wife and two of your in-laws try to smother you in your sleep, maybe you might want to start looking up divorce attorneys
Study finds religious faith may help stroke victims. Wheuh ith oor Gaw nou?
"Man charged for trying to MacGyver propane tank to car engine." He was foiled before he got the two ballpoint pens, a waffle, and a piece of chewing gum that he needed to finish the job
Remember those stories about how the Intertubes are responsible for 13% of US power consumption? Yeah, not really
Four-hour stand off ends when police finally wake the suspect from his slumber
Women who play video games get more sex, wish boyfriends would stop the speedruns and go for the high score instead. (almost Not safe for work pic)
Police rub out marijuana ring in Arkansas City. "We just kind of came upon it," they admit
Doctors use Viagra to save life of premature baby, presumably by making it impossible for him to roll out of bed
Today's man laying on freeway pretending to be a speedbump brought to you by Melbourne
So many Poles pouring into Britain that highway officials are putting up signs in Polish for them. Which is confusing the hell out of the locals and even the Poles think it's pretty stupid (pic)
Machete-wielding car salesman gets 10 years for slashing customers, prices
Georgia couple accused of running $12 million operation to grow marijuana in basements of vacant homes. The neighbors wondered why their property values were so high
Hijacked 737 with 71 passengers and 8 crew lands in Canary Islands with single suspect arrested; several people wounded. We now return you to the regularly scheduled update on who might be Anna Nicole's baby-daddy
The smoking gun of Iranian support for Iraqi insurgents... literally. "Austrian sniper rifles exported to Iran have been discovered in the hands of Iraqi terrorists"
Mormon bishop who took teens on naked snowmobiling rides avoids jail time, frostbite
Sex therapist confirms that Kenyan women need to be more than just good cooks and mothers to children, they need to be better in the sack. Gloria Steinem too speechless to comment
The leader of al Qaeda in Iraq has been wounded and his top aide killed in a clash with police, the Iraqi Interior Ministry says (developing)
Boston Fark Party, St Pat's day. Get your Irish on. Need head count, DIT, LGT parade
(Some gun grabber)
In the wake of the Philadelphia shooting, Rep. Carthy (D-umbassNY) wants to ban guns completely different than the gun used in the shooting. Bonus: She refers to a semiautomatic pistol as an "AK-47 assault rifle"
L.A. comes in dead last in nationwide funeral costs, presumably because a Folger's can from Ralph's is still under $10
TV weather forecasters in Denver complain they're being deluged with hate mail from viewers who think they are enjoying the blizzards too much. "Having eight weeks of storms has made a lot of people really crabby," notes one
Auditors say $10 billion has been squandered in Iraq. Submitter wonders how they missed the other $500 billion
Twenty-five-foot tree stolen from yard. In other news, world's worst Neighborhood Watch group identified
CSI team currently at Anna Nicole Smith residence in the Bahamas. After turning on special light that illuminates semen, the house could be seen from space
The smell of coins isn't metal, it's actually the smell of people's hands. Unless they've been up someone's ass, then that's just the smell of their ass
NIN has new viral web marketing campaign. Someone warn Boston
Muqtada al-Sadr's supporters insist he is not hiding out in Iran, despite reports. They're not sure just where he IS hiding out, but they're pretty sure it's not in Iran. Dick Cheney nods approvingly from an undisclosed location
Fisher-Price says it never intended for its "Laugh and Learn" Bunny to teach children the Heimlich maneuver
Plan A predicted 5,000 troops in Iraq at this point. That's 5,000 total, not 5,000 more
Dog groomer accidentally cuts off dog's ear, but quickly takes control, fixes everything by -- supergluing it back on. See, no harm done
Photoshop this spiffy speaker cabinet
Apparently teaching children to swear and drive a boat drunk is a bad thing
Daimler to drop Chrysler like submitter dropped off that transvestite hooker. Not for being a tranny, but y'know, for having pointy knees
(Every Day Should Be Saturday)
Roll Tide Alabama assistant basketball coach Tom Asbury spotted going after nose goblins for a tasty snack during a game. Duke sucks
Gas thief defends farmer who chased him down and held him at gunpoint, only to be charged by the police
Stunning study finds that newspapers that spend money improving the quality of their news make more money than papers that cut jobs and costs
(New York Times)
Muslim Barbie doll introduced. Still 36-24-34 under the abaya, C4 undies not included
NY Yankees to honor Cory Lidle by wearing black armbands this season. Apparently, Paper Airplane Day was a bit too much
Not news: College students arrested. Fark: For carrying out a harmless prank of stuffing snow in an arch on the college green. Stun guns, beer cans, snowballs involved
FarkTV: Last week, Fark ran an article about farmers feeding cows beer. This week, a local drunk decides to take advantage of the situation. Megan in cutoff jeans and cleavage ain't bad either
Instashop contest for FarkTV: photoshop shopping carts left in unexpected or impossible places
British mail service successfully delivers postcard from Poland whose only address is "Yellow Door, Wilmslow"
Indian pilots being fired for poor English skills, expected back at their jobs with Dell tech support by Friday
La ciudad de Nevada abroga ley del inglés solamente
Gun battle erupts after a teen tried to prevent a mosquito from biting a friend's face
Chavez shows the size of his penis and something about him destroying the food industry in Venezuela (pic)
U.S Mint issues the presidential dollar today. Get your change jars and sofa cushions ready
New York rolls out nation's first city-branded condom. Because nothing says "F you" like a latex-coated New Yorker
At 0-13 in conference play, Arizona State can become first winless team ever in Pac-10. Duke sucks
Chicago mayor says decision to declare a snow emergency and send extra 750 workers out with shovels had "nothing to do" with the fact election day is two weeks away. And if you can't trust a Chicago politician, who can you trust?
Time once again for Mainstream Media to recycle that tired article on office desks being a "haven for bacteria." EVERYBODY PANIC
Jacksonville DJs plan to hold Anna Nicole Smith Memorial Pig Roast tomorrow, directions on site (some NSFW ads unless giant asses are SFW where you are)
"He was dangling by a rope for two hours, upside down in the dark from a bridge, half-naked in -20 C weather." Yup, that would suck
(Some Snowy Failure)
Attemps to break current world record for most snow angels cancelled because of too much damn snow
Swedish man learns the hard way that his town changed to right-hand driving 40 years ago. When reached by phone, he commented, "Bork Bork Bork"
Teen hiccuping for three weeks now. Apparently, "boo" just doesn't cut it anymore
Additional troops to Afghanistan to counter Taliban spring offensive. Those pesky little bastards are like a sitcom foil, they just won't go away
Woman claims man named "Jobu" attacked her with an axe. Cop who was there says it never happened, points out it is never a good idea to steal Jobu's rum
Mother gives birth in her pants. "I didn't know what happened until he was in my pant leg." Doctors tell woman if she plans on having more children, she should never wear a skirt
Mallet-wielding robber terrifies sub shop. "Please give me your money or put your knuckles on the table"
Smoking in bars still banned... unless, of course, that is a joint in your hand
(NY Daily News)
It's not officially winter in NYC until the first dog is electrocuted by stray voltage on a city sidewalk. Bye, Bob
Dude, there's my car. Victim sees his Honda minutes after filing stolen vehicle report. Chaselarity ensues
Photoshop rejected silhouettes for Prince's Super Bowl show. (Link for inspiration)
Aussie porn industry body wants to know why X-rated films are illegal to sell but legal to buy
Teacher in trouble for throwing the book at a student who wouldn't shut up
"Inappropriate groping" banned in Washington high school. After school teacher-student tutoring sessions at all-time low
(Daily Tribune News)
Couple sets up radar gun and video cameras, catches cop speeding in neighborhood. Officer wants couple arrested for stalking
Seven top police officers taken off crime-fighting duties to dream up motto for the force
Civet cat, banned in 2003 after being linked to spread of SARS, reappearing on menus in China
Cop pulls driver from a disabled car seconds before it's destroyed by an out-of-control semi. Caught on video
For 50 bucks, Central Park Zoo will serve cocktails and let you watch animals fark
Today's "angry local politician busted for DUI" video brought to you by Cooper City, Florida
Biggest question of our time is addressed by the media: Is sex on a plane legal?
Circus clowns in denial about terror they evoke: "It's the 'in' phobia right now"
150 Scottish police dogs donate blood on Valentine's Day to help other canines in need. Those dogs have earned their steak
Tokyo to Dallas flight makes emergency landing in Hawaii, pilot wants someone to get that motherfarkin' squirrel off his motherfarkin' plane
Man sentenced to die in China for ant-breeding scam, apparently didn't hear announcement that Michael Ellis week was over
First they came for the fur in jackets -- and they got it. Then they came for the foie gras -- and they got it. Now they are coming for the night-time lighting -- welcome to the new dark ages
New robot suit designed to help seniors lift things and move around could be available by next year
Michelin Man reintroduced after eight-year hiatus, without his spare tire (pic)
Man fakes his own kidnapping to keep his wife from finding out he crashed her new car. Just like runaway bride but in reverse, and without national media attention for a solid week
It's peanut butter, salmonella time
Video footage taken during Monday's mall shooting spree in Salt Lake City -- shaky, noisy and scary
Scientist angered when nearby compound attacks and destroys the cancerous cells she was studying. Apparently she was... oh hey, wait a minute -- it did what?
People being nice to deer by feeding them end up making it easier for wolves to rip them apart
Judge quashes subpoenas issued against NWA by shareholders. Shareholders plan to try again, and when they come back, they're comin' straight outta Compton
Google helps Iraqis survive, find porn
Photoshop this horse
Batman sighting causes school lockdown
Wed February 14, 2007
Cactus-eating moth reaches Mexico. Cost of tequila expected to rise
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 93: "V-Day" LGT next week's theme. Please read first post
The big snowstorm has reached the Northeast, rendering it worthy of national media attention
Father of Qantas flight attendant who joined the Mile High Club with Lord Voldemort says the coworkers who snitched on her were "probably ugly as a hat full of arseholes and were just jealous."
Whalers: Ah, our ship is on fire Greenpeace: Come aboard our ship Whalers: NO Greenpeace: Fine, DIAF while we watch
Congratulations to the Milwaukee Bucks, the first team beaten by the Boston Celtics in 40 days
(Some Blood Brother)
Woman ties up, cuts lover to drink his blood. Then things get weird (with a "would you hit it?" pic of suspect)
Tell us your most embarrassing Valentine's Day story
Man crashes car into DMV, shortens line by 11 people
Bush admits he has no evidence connecting Iran to insurgent activities, reverses position on just about everything. Flip flop much?
Chinese police raid fake Viagra factory; criminals try to swallow evidence, wind up with stiff neck
Ex-Congressman from Pennsylvania charged with exposing himself to two women on a beach. No word on if any Santorum was exchanged
Ben & Jerry name new flavor for Stephen Colbert
When your lawyer admits you "may be appallingly stupid," it may be time to get a new lawyer
John McCain's 18-year-old Marine son prepares for deployment to Iraq
Modify this dangler
The IRS is interested in why a Minneapolis minister with a flock of 10,000 souls that put $34 million in the collection plate last year, has a private jet, 2 homes in Florida, and drives around in either his Lexus or his Porsche
Mother cat adopts puppy rejected by it's mother, according to Dr. Venkman the next up is MASS HYSTERIA
People confused by Google's Valentine's Day logo design, forces Google to issue an explanation
Drew talks about Fark TV, the Fark book, and why we won't see Fark beer anytime soon
Woman jacks a U-Haul and plays demolition derby down I-95. Word has it that her boyfriend forgot it was Valentine's Day
Army post hopes to cut down on soldiers getting DUIs by opening an on base nightclub. They also have eased security restrictions for visitors in hopes young hotties will come to the club
When you lose your golf ball in a Florida water hazard, let it go, man. It's gone
80s most popular LA sperm donor description: 6ft, blue-eyed, likes philosophy, music and drama. Today he lives in a RV with four dogs down by the river and is looking up some of his kids
Ben Tracy, WCCO's answer to Ric Romero, discovers that "women bond through conversation" while "men bond through shared activity". No word on when he'll discover "blogging" and "the Charleston"
"Your future is in your hand" says talking urinal. "Hey, hold her hair back" expected to follow
(Rocky Mountain News)
Teacher to Student: Trade ya an A for pics of you naked. Student to Teacher: Sold (With sexy pic)
Finally someone does some investigative reporting. How to score a prostitute and crack in Anchorage, a beginners guide
United Nations report states that Britain is the worst place for children among industrialized countries. Something about making them play in wardrobes
In honor of Valentine's Day, share your best/worst dating stories in this discussion thread (with voting)
The Ric Romero of NY learns that ice is slippery during a live report
Naked man dances in Cleveland during live weather broadcast. Possibly NSFW but you won't see anything unless you try real hard
Image found on 2000-year-old Roman coin shows that Egyptian queen Cleopatra was not as attractive as previously described. You might even call her ugly-asp
The top 12 ugliest musicians ever
Wackjob Utah mall shooter was a Muslim. EVERYONE PANIC
Imagined wedgies are the height of entertainment for Sheboygan audience
If you've been arrested for robbing a store, it's probably not a great idea to drive around with a stolen ATM in the backseat of your car
Chocolate or flowers: This college student says to get the one that's most like weed
Teen strumpet sues school district because it didn't prevent her from banging the volleyball coach
FarkTV: In honor of Valentines Day, a story of office romance between a woman and a bear. Drew's in this one as the boss
Photoshop this guy drawing "art"
At press conference, Bush says talks with Iran "wouldn't lead anywhere." Just like they led nowhere a few days ago in North Korea. But hey, you can't accuse him of not trying
Some fatherly advice from Robert Deniro, Chevy Chase and one of the Baldwins. Sponsored link
If you have been busted on drug charges and call your aunt bring you a safe full of cash to the police station for bail money, make sure the safe doesn't contain more drugs
REMINDER: Roanoke, VA Fark Party at Awful Arthur's (Towers) Saturday, Feb 17th at 7:00 p.m.
DaimlerChrysler to give 13,000 employees something pink this Valentine's Day
Accused terrorist arrested in Texas after Kenyan soldiers captured him fleeing Ethiopian forces in Somalia where he had gone from Egypt after leaving his native Boston may be imprisoned for life, or until his luggage catches up with him
"I met my husband on Fark.com ... it's a seething pool of stupidity, misogyny, and ass-backward political views..."
In case you haven't noticed, there's a bunch of white stuff on the ground. EVERYBODY PANIC
Drew will be talking Fark with Chip Franklin on WBAL-AM 1090 Baltimore MD at 11am
That rumor about being able to buy Viagra without a prescription on Valentine's Day? Yeah, it's about as reliable as anything else you read on the Internet
Company launches first line of NASCAR-licensed apparel designed exclusively for women. "Our designs are more stylish and higher-priced than the usual NASCAR gear."
CNN NEWS ALERT: "A judge has ruled Anna Nicole Smith's body must stay at the medical examiner's office until a dispute over her daughter's paternity is resolved, but Smith's body can be embalmed." This is CNN
UK hospital trying to save money by removing lightbulbs to cut their electricity bill
The most romantic restaurants in America