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Sun April 09, 2006
Source     Fark Headline Comments
(London Times)
 
 
 
Fat-busting laser treatment could melt away cellulite and arterial plaque, proving once again that you can do whatever the hell you want to yourself and science will bail you out
source: timesonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(98)
 
(Wa gov)
 
 
 
Vote for Washington State's new quarter, choices include a fish, a fish, and a fish
source: governor.wa.gov   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(174)
 
(Impact Lab)
 
 
 
The H-Prize is being created to stimulate explosive results in the hydrogen energy field. People named Hindenburg need not apply
source: impactlab.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(55)
 
(Fark)
 
Plug
 
Totalfark: Like a genteel, heartwarming Thankgiving dinner. With the Manson family
 
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Charlize Theron vows to not marry until all gay couples are allowed wed, that sound you hear is gay people everywhere slapping their foreheads in frustration
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(265)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this partially eaten cake
source: digibarn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(51)
 
(LGN)
 
 
 
Fark Kitchen help requested. Looking for a relatively easy chicken recipe that will go well with a pasta side
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(177)
 
(Independent)
 
 
 
Chavez building army of the people to resist U.S. invasion
source: news.independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(378)
 
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
More than 2000 people sign full-page advertisement promising to boycott TV channel for one year, or until such time it takes to respect the authoritah of Mary, Mother of Jesus
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(87)
 
(Canada.com)
 
 
 
Captain Obvious says eight men murdered in a farmer's field in rural Ontario "almost certainly" involved organized crime. "This isn't a dispute between the 4-H Club or the Lions or the Masons," he points out
source: canada.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(100)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Police recruit town crier to fight crime; village idiot, city slicker still out of work
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(38)
 
(KLAS Las Vegas)
 
 
 
Robbers who shot store owner, employees, and customers in botched robbery now have a bigger concern: getting captured by the police before pissed-off customers and the owner's relatives find them
source: klastv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(62)
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Iran to US: Quit farking with our heads about these nukes, man
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(412)
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
At 105, America's oldest CEO explains why his western wear company has triumped over competitors: "Because they're all in the cemetery"
source: today.reuters.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(33)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Gay rodeo makes its Florida debut. Article includes the word "cowgirling"
source: miami.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(91)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Canadian firm creates new product aimed at eliminating American bathroom odors
source: canadaeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(50)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Study: Obese People Lack Health Awareness
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(210)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Ernie K-Doe has some hurdles to overcome to win his bid for mayor of New Orleans: he lacks the political experience, lacks financial clout and he's been dead for almost 5 years
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(31)
 
(uwm.edu)
 
 
 
Sub, hoagie, poorboy, or hero? Scientific survey ap shows you where each name predominates. Still no cure for grinders
source: cfprod01.imt.uwm.edu   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(235)
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Capitol Police pull guns on "screaming intruder" on White House Grounds. LGT MSNBC homepage, no story yet
source: in.today.reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(170)
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Indonesian Playboy causing a stir with its new all-ankle centerfold. Victorian England unavailable for comment
source: go.reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(132)
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Because no one else in the world apparently ever has children, you need to know the top celebrity kids
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(47)
 
(JSOnline)
 
 
 
History Channel to air series on 10 important days in history you probably don't think about. Creation of fark.com strangely missed the cut
source: jsonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(121)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Bodies of first-ever Knights Templar found in Israel. Someone should write a book about these guys
source: dailytelegraph.news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(139)
 
(NY Daily News)
 
 
 
Happy 80th birthday to Hugh Hefner, and thanks for all the boobies. Hef claims 80 is "the new 40", apparently already forgetting half his life
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(106)
 
(St. Petersburg Times)
 
 
 
Suburb has million dollar homes, bloody skulls at no extra charge
source: sptimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(27)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this ninja guy and his evil toady
source: satyrnet.it   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(79)
 
(AFP)
 
 
 
Gourment 85-pound sandwich to go on sale in London. That's cost, not weight
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(73)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Meet Justin Zee online poker pro. Pro at using multiple accounts in tournaments
source: zeejustin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(210)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Huge chunk of ice falls on Oakland park, leaving three-foot deep crater and throwing turf 20 feet. Official explanation? "Big balls of ice fall from the sky sometimes. Natural causes"
source: insidebayarea.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(45)
 
(Some Canadian)
 
 
 
A fringe Canadian political party that proposes the union of Canada and America. Who could possibly oppose this, eh?
source: unitednorthamerica.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(258)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
You've heard of "man hands", now meet the Egyptian guy who wore a head-to-toe Islamic veil to visit his girlfriend, only to be given away by his "man shoes" in the all-women train carriage
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(48)
 
(Canoe)
 
 
 
Australian cop suspended for consulting psychic while investigating threats against his country's Prime Minister. Strangely, she didn't warn him that would be coming, either
source: cnews.canoe.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(53)
 
(Daytona Beach News-Journal)
 
 
 
Department of Children and Families investigator may face disciplinary action for getting naked on the Howard Stern Show
source: news-journalonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(53)
 
(Netscape)
 
 
 
Jesus' crucifixion looked completely different than what we think and for good reason, he more than likely was nailed to the cross by his gentiles. Imagine that image hanging up in church
source: webcenters.netscape.compuserve.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(277)
 
(Some Parker Brother)
 
 
 
Photoshop a novelty Monopoly board
source: gtawh.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(78)
 
(Cookie Monster)
 
 
 
Woman "tortured" by bad batch of cookies executes couple who cooked them
source: pressconnects.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(127)
 
(NZ Herald)
 
 
 
Kiwis upset that they have to import models for underwear ads
source: nzherald.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(58)
 
(LGN)
 
 
 
We all know you saved a bunch of money by staying at a Holiday Inn last night- what other commercial slogans (TV or otherwise) have stuck with you?
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(777)
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Scientist creates mathematical formula for the perfect rear
source: sundaytimes.news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(182)
 
(Seattle Times)
 
 
 
Wal-Mart's plans for world domination include running its own bank
source: seattletimes.nwsource.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(119)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Complaints about dishonest contractors in New Orleans being reported at pace of 60,000 a month. If you can imagine contractors being dishonest
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(70)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Well-traveled shamrock sees soldiers home safely
source: union-bulletin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(38)
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
British drivers evading speed camera tickets by registering their cars at Mailboxes Plus
source: observer.guardian.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(61)
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Florida uses armed deputies to patrol swamps for berry poachers: "There's an army of pickers out there.''
source: guardian.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(41)
 
(Modbee.com)
 
 
 
Three gang members tried to ambush a rival but ended up killing one of their own. Looks like someone failed Drive By Shooting School
source: modbee.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(65)
 
(UnNews)
 
 
 
Nigerian census finds millions of rich, desperate princes
source: uncyclopedia.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(44)
 
(Some turtle catcher)
 
 
 
Photoshop this angry turtle
source: garagelogic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(75)
 


Sat April 08, 2006
(Real Tech News)
 
 
 
Instead of typing in text to prove you're not a comment spammer, KittenAuth makes you click on three kitten pics from a lineup of squirrels and rabbits instead
source: realtechnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(85)
 
(Independent)
 
 
 
Someone's planning on using WMDs, and it isn't Iran
source: news.independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(467)
 
(NASA)
 
 
 
NASA preparing for next fake moon landing. Your dog wants Tang
source: spaceflight.nasa.gov   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(89)
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Every single RV and van in Britain has been booked by World Cup fans
source: observer.guardian.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(28)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Books bound in human skin are not that uncommon, and many rare book libraries have examples
source: wellcome.ac.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(52)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
85,000 tons of squid caught. That's a lot of obnoxious sport bikers
source: mercopress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(37)
 
(Chron)
 
 
 
MIT researcher claims climatic change will create ever more powerful hurricanes. Here comes the apocalyptic science
source: chron.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(103)
 
(Some Newt)
 
 
 
Online witch school, free lessons and "real" wands and robes for sale
source: witchschool.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(73)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Suicide camel program planned to fend off US invasion
source: albawaba.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(35)
 
(C|Net)
 
 
 
Headline writers must now tweak their style to alter Internet search engine results
source: news.com.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(21)
 
(Netscape)
 
 
 
8 of the top 10 cities for car theft are in the southwest and Miami. It is racist to point out that illegal immigrants have been invading these places for decades
source: channels.netscape.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(306)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Coors installing east coast brewing facility capable of 3.5 million cases per cycle. Still no word on when their "beer" will actually be worth a damn
source: whsv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(208)
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Scientists find planet-forming disc. Terry Pratchett has no comment
source: ctv.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(92)
 
(Thats just cool man)
 
 
 
A very cool look at Origami creations
source: langorigami.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(43)
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
Brett Favre holds press conference to announce he has not made up his friggin mind yet
source: sports.espn.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(141)
 
(Chron)
 
 
 
Supporting the Troops 101: Foul water supplied by Haliburton leading to infections in soldiers
source: chron.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(298)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Theme: Farker moving in mid-April. Photoshop the ways it could go horribly wrong
source: woofiemama.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(88)
 
(wistv.com)
 
 
 
Man opens store named "Bad Ass Coffee Co" in Bible Belt, SC. What could possibly go wrong? (with pic)
source: wistv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(144)
 
(WVLT)
 
 
 
Tennessee bus driver takes kids for drunken joy ride
source: volunteertv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(35)
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
The spring's hottest new luxury cars (w pics)
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(100)
 
(WEAU)
 
 
 
Man pleads guilty to vandalizing town vehicles with underwear to get revenge after a parks employee blew grass clippings on him. Yeah, that'll show them
source: weau.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(19)
 
(Flickr)
 
 
 
Stick figures in peril
source: flickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(80)
 
(AFP)
 
 
 
Vodka wars -- brands battle for 'best Russian vodka' title
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(166)
 
(DW Tokyo)
 
 
 
Japan zaps suburb of Tokyo with beam from space-based laser, either because it was an important scientific experiment or because the guys running the satellite just felt like doing it
source: digitalworldtokyo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(68)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Bad: you have to be evacuated from your house due to flooding. Badder: you end up stuck in a tree. Fark: a crocodile decides to have a little nibble as you wait for rescuers to reach you
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(27)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
How the super rich go car shopping
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(73)
 
(Lexington Herald Leader)
 
 
 
Brokeback University, this ain't
source: kentucky.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(216)
 
(London Times)
 
 
 
Ninja gardeners of London - they come at night to weed your beds
source: timesonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(54)
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
If you're the guy who drilled a hole in that nuclear power plant in Florida, the FBI would like to have a word with you
source: today.reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(44)
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
What a great combination, night mountain bike riding. What could go wrong?
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(48)
 
(Canada.com)
 
 
 
Playboy magazine names McGill one of top party schools in N. America after convincing 4 students to pose nude (pic)
source: canada.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(145)
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
An investigation of fuel prices won't go anywhere without looking at oil companies' books
source: heraldsun.news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(136)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Unrelated people who kiss each other on lips for more than 5 minutes in public will face arrest
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(70)
 
(muskogeephoenix)
 
 
 
"When it comes to hilarious irreverence, Drew Curtis of fark.com may have cornered the market"
source: muskogeephoenix.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(99)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Harley-Davidson opens its first dealership in China
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(80)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Georgia town hosts its annual Goat-A-Rama
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(22)
 
(Some Thirsty Guy)
 
 
 
What do you do with an unlimited source of the worlds purest water? Why put a landfill on top of it of course
source: thestar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(71)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Ninja teacher hurls cinnamon roll shuriken at students, uses nunchuks as punishment/reward (?) for raising money to cure cancer
source: lacrossetribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(27)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Early Scientology training courses. Most hours spent trying command ashtray to stand up
source: cs.cmu.edu   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(261)
 
(CentralOhio)
 
 
 
Customers can once again bring their own beer into strip club
source: centralohio.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(24)
 
(KDKA.com - CBS Pittsburgh)
 
 
 
Lightning strikes Pittsburgh clock tower. Flaming tire tracks and crazy white haired scientist seen in vicinity
source: kdka.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(57)
 
(&1)
 
 
 
Photoshop this paper boat. Difficulty: No hats
source: mann.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(99)
 
(Tampa Bay Online)
 
 
 
Tornadoes 11, Tennessee 0
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(63)
 
(IOL.co.za)
 
 
 
When the judge says he can read the future, is endowed with supernatural powers, and opens every court session by reading from the Book of Revelation, it may be time to ask for a new judge
source: int.iol.co.za   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(42)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
North Carolina military training company to offer army for hire. "We're low-cost and fast...The issue is, who's going to let us play on their team?"
source: home.hamptonroads.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(70)
 
(AHN)
 
 
 
School library in Sweden won't lend books to students whose underwear shows above the waistband of their pants
source: allheadlinenews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(63)
 
(cellar.org)
 
 
 
Tonight's really cool picture: an albino peacock
source: cellar.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(77)
 
(ABC)
 
 
 
Wisconsin's underwear gnome sentenced to a year of grabass in state prison after his second conviction for purloined panties
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(28)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
If you don't want the police to find you after your daring cash-machine theft, don't leave evidence behind that will make it too easy for them. Like your finger, for instance
source: dailyrecord.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(13)
 
(Wired)
 
 
 
AT&T allowed NSA full access to customers' phone calls and internet traffic. In other news, chocolate rations to be decreased
source: wired.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(146)
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Augusta, Ga Masters Fark Party. Cafe Du Teau on Central. Sat @ 11 ish
source: mapquest.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(24)
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Man reunited with his beloved stolen 1967 Camaro, with plates reading 'MISSUDAD' because he restored it with his late father, after finding it on eBay
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(38)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Man gets a dime/penny hybrid coin as change. Hopefully won't try to use it at Taco Bell
source: sun-herald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(93)
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Smoking lamps from San Francisco may be unsafe. Smoking poles could also carry risk
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(41)
 
(Some Conspiracy Theorist)
 
 
 
DaVinci Code author faces 2nd lawsuit alleging he lifted material from the Holy Bible
source: thetoque.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(71)
 
(ABC)
 
 
 
Thanks to mysterious benefactor, 18-year-old girl staying in 2,825-square-foot condo in high-rise luxury tower for $1 per month
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(97)
 
(Detroit News)
 
 
 
Welcome to Detroit. We hope you survive
source: detnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(89)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Stoned guy tries to evade cops on horseback after mom narcs him out
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(39)
 


Fri April 07, 2006
(&1)
 
 
 
Photoshop this colourful Maltese bus
source: mann.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(48)
 
(Komo)
 
 
 
Tavern owner defies smoking ban, gets butt kicked
source: komotv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(226)
 
(via Boing Boing)
 
 
 
Pakistan opens child-powered theme park (pic)
source: cellar.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(54)
 
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
Man enraged that local public toilet was closed because of vandalism; uses crowbar to reopen it. Police not amused
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(28)
 
(My San Antonio)
 
 
 
Man breaking into woman's house is dismayed that she has a roommate named Louisville Slugger
source: mysanantonio.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(84)
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
"Sometimes felons make great car salesmen"
source: today.reuters.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(29)
 
(stripgenerator.com)
 
 
 
Make your own cartoon strip (and post yours)
source: stripgenerator.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(269)
 
(Canoe)
 
 
 
400,000 Irish motorists never passed test, which would be bad enough even before discovering that their street signs are half Gaelic
source: cnews.canoe.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(39)
 
(ABC)
 
 
 
Three ski patrollers die on the job after falling into a volcanic fissure. No, really
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(59)
 
(Atlanta Journal-Constitution)
 
 
 
CDC, jealous of the CIA-AIDS connection, may have created autism epidemic
source: ajc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(211)
 
(ABC)
 
 
 
Golden Retriever that has been on the run for two years in New Hampshire recaptured with boiled ham dinner after satellite tracking, helicopter surveillance and dart guns failed
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(44)
 
(Breitbart)
 
 
 
Leif Garrett gets jail time. With scary pic
source: breitbart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(77)
 
(WNEP.com)
 
 
 
Today's "car drives into a pool" story brought to you by Pittston, PA. Bonus: driver took a shortcut through the house
source: wnep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(37)
 
(KSBW 8)
 
 
 
Parents mad at principal for putting grease on a fence to stop students from ditching class. Say that they don't like having their kids covered in grease. Parenting responsibilty surrenders
source: theksbwchannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(125)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Suddenly realizing that bulldozers, tanks and cruise missiles don't just materialize out of thin air, Hamas hints at recognizing Isreal
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(92)
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Jessica Simpson sued for not wearing pants
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(110)
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Man buys car at an official city auction. City then arrests him for buying a stolen car
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(41)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Los Angeles Fark Party: This Saturday, April 8th. Details in thread
source: google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(101)
 
(Mainichi Daily News)
 
 
 
"Many of the girls coming to Japan have grown up in the country and have only ever done it once."
source: mdn.mainichi-msn.co.jp   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(112)
 
(Local6)
 
 
 
Military tests taser guns on live pigs. What could possibly go wrong? Well, for one, PETA could find out
source: local6.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(271)
 
(LBC 97.3)
 
 
 
Maybe you've seen the world's biggest Christmas light display on the Today Show and all the networks? Turns out the minister behind it was running a crazy sex cult. Woo hoo
source: tampabays10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(62)
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Bumfighters settle suit against the asshats who plied them with booze and drugs to fight each other
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(117)
 
(Some Tuna-Lover)
 
 
 
Farker professor sent out this picture. Help farker student make this great picture better
source: images1.filecloud.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(92)
 
(LBC 97.3)
 
 
 
Guy who robbed a bank last week shows up today to rob it again, but employees recognize him and lock him out
source: tampabays10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(24)
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Automakers futures being driven by Baby Boomers. In other news GM, Ford seen doing 40 in the left lane with their turn signal on
source: finance.sympatico.msn.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(138)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Japanese convenience store staff asks elderly man to buy magazines he is reading. Elderly man pulls out chainsaw. Hilarity ensues
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(67)
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Houvouras makes what are commonly known as "farks" -- he's not sure where the term came from
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(66)
 
(LBC 97.3)
 
 
 
Under the impression that gold caps snap out like a retainer - judge orders confiscation of drug suspects' dental work
source: tampabays10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(153)
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Saudi prince promises to stablize oil prices because he loves losing lots of money
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(100)
 
(Aint-It-Cool-News)
 
 
 
Hollywood's latest gamble to turn its luck around? Remaking the old Burt Reynolds movie, "Sharky's Machine"
source: aintitcoolnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(320)
 
(Wired)
 
 
 
Wired looks back at past innovations that were corrupting the youth of the time, including the waltz, novels and the telephone
source: wired.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(190)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Yesterday's headlines: Congress unites for illegal-immigrant deal. Today's headlines: Immigration overhaul fails Senate vote
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(473)
 
(Chattanoogan)
 
 
 
Southern Tennessee radio station switches to Air America and promptly disappears from the ratings. Bonus: It was a Top 10 station when it played elevator music
source: chattanoogan.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(375)
 
(Some Padawan)
 
 
 
Star Wars Kid reaches settlement in lawsuit. Sue or sue not, there is no trial
source: boingboing.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(218)
 
(Billings Gazette)
 
 
 
Chiropractor claims he can cure patients by going back in time to when their injuries occurred. Investigators prepare to send him back in time to when he had no chiropractic license
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(171)
 
(NY Daily News)
 
 
 
New York Post Page Six staffer caught shaking down a billionaire for "protection" against inaccurate and unflattering items. The NY Daily News is there
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(68)
 
(NWITimes.com)
 
 
 
Man spanks it while taking out the garbage. Woman in "line of sight" call the cops
source: nwitimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(110)
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Top 10 junk-science stories. You dog doesn't want dioxin from Ben and Jerry's
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(560)
 
(Derby Telegraph)
 
 
 
Man puts future mother-in-law up for auction. With pic that explains why nobody is offering the minimum bid
source: thisisderbyshire.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(67)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Brits consume more alcohol than any other country in Europe, except Belgium where one reader commented, "Drinking is their national sport"
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(126)
 
(TribecaTrib)
 
 
 
This week's "loft apartment filled with 1000 turtles, vomit and feces" story brought to you by New York City
source: tribecatrib.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(79)
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
Boston adds to assault weapon ban. New to the list: Barrett .50 caliber. (Fourth article)
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(682)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
"It's sinful to read Playboy if there's no nudity"
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(70)
 
(C|Net)
 
 
 
On April 1, Apple Computer turns 30 years old. Photoshop what products Apple will produce over the next 30 years
source: news.com.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(153)
 
(ABC)
 
 
 
Having solved all other problems essential to Americans, Congress tries to get rid of candy in schools
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(108)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Ice-cream trucks banned in Florida town due to fighting amongst the kids
source: nbc-2.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(63)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Drew will be on 107.5 FM in Greensboro, NC at around 9:20 a.m. EDT this morning
source: 1075kzl.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(69)
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Best way for women to beat breast cancer is to wear a bikini when they're younger
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(148)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
British town cowering in fear as a monster rabbit is destroying their gardens. "It is absolutely massive. I have seen its prints and they are huge, bigger than a deer"
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(138)
 
(Some Web 2.0 Nonsense)
 
 
 
Website that lets the public request entertainment performances in their region finds that the biggest event request in the Washington metro area is Impeachment, by the artist George W. Bush
source: eventful.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(211)
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Check-in attendant fired by budget airline for looking too "gothic." With pic
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(290)
 
(Berkshire Eagle)
 
 
 
Norman Rockwell museum admits its forgery doesn't stand up against the original hidden in some guy's sliding wall
source: berkshireeagle.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(52)
 
(NBC10.com)
 
 
 
Goose gets fresh with woman on camera by goosing her
source: nbc10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(60)
 
(London Times)
 
 
 
Latest scam in England is selling tickets for non-existent concerts, then refunding the money months later less "booking fees" and interest. And it's legal. In related news, Radiohead is playing submitter's basement July 17
source: timesonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(75)
 
(Toronto Star)
 
 
 
Old and busted: Organized crime bribing member of the jury or the judge. New hotness: Bribing the victim with $2.5 million for a lighter sentence
source: thestar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(25)
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Social workers take nine-year-old away because his foster dad plays poker, which was as much of an irritant to his birth mother as the kid was, apparently
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(103)
 
(NCBuy)
 
 
 
Google Maps to begin integrating advertising into maps. Photoshop some unintended/appropriate results. LGT article
source: kevxml2a.infospace.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(107)
 
(Everett Herald)
 
 
 
Driver to potential carjacker: Suck it
source: heraldnet.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(81)
 
(Some Cricket)
 
 
 
Today's Iron AudioEdit ingredient: Buddy Holly
source: buddyholly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(8)
 
(Mercury News)
 
 
 
Masters got even tougher, now includes Augusta residents shooting at PGA players
source: mercurynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(59)
 
(Tampa Bay Online)
 
 
 
Rural town Sopchoppy (pop. 426) celebrates another year practicing Charles Darwin's earthworm grunting
source: tbo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(34)
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Paula Abdul straight-up assaulted at party by cold-hearted man, almost knocked out
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(74)
 
(Journal Star)
 
 
 
Man arrested after cleaning worker notices him taking a crap at the Hall Of Justice where he ought not be crapping
source: journalstar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(38)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
U.S. loses Katrina donations from abroad due to eight levels of bureaucracy and no experience in receiving foreign aid
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(145)
 


Thu April 06, 2006
(Sydney Morning Herald)
 
 
 
Entering the wrong PIN at an ATM will now cost you $2
source: smh.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(151)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Demonstrating the awesome power of nuclear devices, teacher gives kid atomic wedgie
source: wgrz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(30)
 
(Scotsman)
 
 
 
Scots combine 150 single malts into a blend. Yeah, it's a blend, but a damn spiffy blend
source: news.scotsman.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(102)
 
(Chicago Business)
 
 
 
We have seen the future, and it is oblong Oreos
source: chicagobusiness.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(79)
 
(AFP)
 
 
 
Chemist working on developing "chameleon clothes" that let you blend into the background. Stalkers rejoice
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(52)
 
(Hindustantimes.com)
 
 
 
Man has special coffin built to accomodate his porn collection, wireless access to Foobies.com
source: hindustantimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(75)
 
(Daily News Journal)
 
 
 
How to make cool Easter eggs
source: dnj.midsouthnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(67)
 
(Local6)
 
 
 
IPod vending machines are coming to a grocery store, mall or airport near you (with pics)
source: local6.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(112)
 
(Some silly monkey)
 
 
 
Uh oh. It's spreading: Canadian professor denied funding for failing to prove Darwin was right
source: canada.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(312)
 
(Chattanoogan)
 
 
 
"Thanks for directions to the highway... and your truck"
source: chattanoogan.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(27)
 
(ABC)
 
 
 
If you ever get an urge to freeze off your own legs with a bucket of granulated dry ice, you're not alone
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(148)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
RIM looking soft from hairy Palm situation
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(40)
 
(Boston Herald)
 
 
 
Five-year-old girl hugged on playground by classmate. As punishment, hugging girl forced to write anti-hugging letter
source: news.bostonherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(336)
 
(Some Ambulance Chaser)
 
 
 
Theme: What will the Internet look like when people start filing stupid lawsuits against websites?
source: dumbwarnings.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(77)
 
(hamptonroads.com)
 
 
 
"My bad. We will definitely stop hiring criminals to work as security guards for military bases"
source: home.hamptonroads.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(35)
 
(Star Telegram)
 
 
 
Toilets at school all stop working. Burrito Day suspended indefinately
source: dfw.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(35)
 
(WVLT)
 
 
 
Judge wrecks car, calls 911, hitches ride home before the cops show up. Oh, and he was busted the week before for taking kickbacks from traffic schools. His employee discount may be in jeopardy
source: volunteertv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(25)
 
(Slashdot)
 
 
 
Enterprising MIT students "appropriate" Caltech cannon. Discover that cannon size does not attract chicks
source: slashdot.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(72)
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Uranus has a rare blue ring because Mars forgot to put the toilet seat down
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(90)
 
(Aftenposten.no)
 
 
 
Crazy Norwegian golfers solve problem of no grass in winter (with video)
source: aftenposten.no   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(25)
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
New director named for "Dallas" movie. Doesn't matter who it is, he'll wind up being credited as Alan Smithee when it hits theatres for its four-day run
source: washtimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(69)
 
(cowichan news leader)
 
 
 
Mouth-to-nose resuscitation fails to save elk, rescuer doesn't smell so good either
source: cowichannewsleader.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(29)
 
(Some Biker)
 
 
 
Two biking enthusiasts arrested for highway shooting, found 200 yards from home of Outlaws leader with cache of weapons. Police chief calls it "a heck of a coincidence"
source: nhregister.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(69)
 
(LBC 97.3)
 
 
 
Investigation finds that jail cop hit his wife because she wouldn't let him buy Dungeons and Dragons toys. He lost his job, but got full hit points
source: wtsp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(153)
 
(Jointblog)
 
 
 
Is Interactive TV overhyped?
source: jointcommunications.blogspot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(88)
 
(National Geographic)
 
 
 
Newly discovered "lost" gospel gives Judas an alibi. Was shagging Mary Magdeline at the time. Where's your god-killer now?
source: www9.nationalgeographic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(420)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Seventy-four bone fragments found around Ground Zero. Most were not in hot-dog vendor carts
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(236)
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
Police officer releases suspect from custody because his shift had ended
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(31)
 
(Wacotrib.com)
 
 
 
Some audience members get up and leave when Bill Nye The Science Guy points out that the Bible creation story shouldn't be taken literally."We believe in a God" exclaimed one woman as she left the room with three young children
source: wacotrib.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(583)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Congresswoman Crazy Bitch McKinney does an about face, apologizes for punching a police officer
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(1009)
 
(NBC4)
 
 
 
Police post sexist, racist and anti-immigrant comments on a public message board. "Maryland" tag last seen straightening his tie
source: nbc4.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(138)
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
Man accused of smuggling drugs in lettuce to spend the next 30 years tossing a different kind of salad
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(37)
 
(NFL.com)
 
 
 
2006 NFL regular season schedule released. Duke sucks
source: nfl.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(166)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Man calls Carl's Junior's customer service hotline to lodge a complaint. Suprised to get a recording telling him he can talk to "hot, horny girls"
source: heraldextra.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(53)
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
For those who had "one week" as the amount of time it would take Israel to arrest somebody from the new Hamas-led Palestinian cabinet, collect your money
source: guardian.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(203)
 
(LBC 97.3)
 
 
 
Today's "Tasermania" contestant is 92-year-old man in assisted living center
source: tampabay10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(104)
 
(Arizona Star)
 
 
 
County gurus say "rectal brooming" not an extreme sport after all. Just fun
source: azstarnet.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(108)
 
(PittsburghLive)
 
 
 
Fourth-grader and mom protest because principal won't let her wear miniskirts. Mom: "I would never let her wear anything (provocative). She's just dressing fashionably"
source: pittsburghlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(408)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Three rescued after failing in their quest to find a "legendary karate expert" hidden in the mountains of Japan
source: uk.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(103)
 
(Real Tech News)
 
 
 
Instead of placing ads in video games, new technology lets gamers create ther own billboard ads. Aside from missing the whole making-money-by-selling-ads point, what could possibly go wrong?
source: realtechnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(40)
 
(Washington Times)
 
 
 
Not to be outdone by the TSA, the Russians will start using lie detectors on air travelers. Difficulty: The second question is, "Have you ever lied before"
source: washingtontimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(38)
 
(Bristol Post)
 
 
 
Man's attempt to invoke ancient law to contest a £30 parking ticket leaves him £200 out of pocket
source: thisisbristol.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(29)
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Big Pharma handed out $44 million in state level bribes last year to fight reductions in drug prices. Your dog wants generics
source: today.reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(100)
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
NewsFlash
 
Bush "specifically authorized" Libby to leak info
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(1642)
 
(Michelle Malkin)
 
 
 
NASCAR just a tad unhappy with NBC's effort to run a racism sting on their fans
source: michellemalkin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(217)
 
(St. Petersburg Times)
 
 
 
High school bagpipe ban lifted. Kids still can't use cellphones in class, though
source: sptimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(28)
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Swan dead from bird flu found in Scotland, promptly deep-fried by locals
source: guardian.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(42)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
What if your mobile home got NASCAR-style corporate sponsors?
source: livingpictures.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(74)
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
The Schwartz is weak in this one. Mel Brooks plans to bring Young Frankenstein to Broadway, eventually make a movie of his play
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(84)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Students lack basic financial knowledge. Ramen noodle eating, Versace-wearing college freshmen shocked
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(109)
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Scientists to creationists: Die in a fire
source: guardian.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(702)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Philadelphia discovers that people are more willing to recycle if you bribe them with coupons
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(30)
 
(C|Net)
 
 
 
The beginning of the end of the Internet as we know it happened yesterday in a House commitee. Way paved for telecoms to prioritize traffic to their own websites
source: news.com.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(210)
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Baseball Hall of Fame needs Barry Bonds artifacts. Bats, balls sought; no word on syringes or creamers. For that matter, good luck finding the balls
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(50)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Famous one-eyed kitten to go on display, one-eyed snake owned by Ron Jeremy said to be deflated with jealousy
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(58)
 
(Newsday)
 
 
 
Hundreds of Nashville garbage carts stolen. Somebody must be anticipating the release of "Dr. Doolittle 3" later this month
source: newsday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(18)
 
(Chicago Sun-Times)
 
 
 
Richard Roeper, who is pretty damn cool himself, gives a shoutout to Fark in his column today. Thinks Jill Carroll is hot too
source: suntimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(66)
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Ten nude scenes we didn't need to see (SFW)
source: movies.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(230)
 
(Lexington Herald Leader)
 
 
 
Kentucky cops seize mail-order drugs. Recipients call cops wanting to know where their packages are
source: kentucky.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(16)
 
(AOL)
 
 
 
Katie Couric's replacement on "Today" has a -- let's say "casual" -- attitude toward wearing unmentionables. (Fifth item)
source: tmz.aol.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(112)
 
(The Register)
 
 
 
The hits keep comin' and so will Jim -- this thread worthless without video. In other news, this is the 2,000,000th link. Congrats to Farker Butterfinger who submitted it
source: theregister.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(1120)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Tanzanian legislator wants to add spanking as possible punishment for errant investors. Yes, you shall give us all a good spanking... and then, the oral sex
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(22)
 
(Greenville Online)
 
 
 
South Carolina Senate votes to let the boobies run free
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(53)
 
(Post Chronicle)
 
 
 
Court in California to decide whether or not you need to legally tell your future sex partners about that seedy skank who gave you [insert STD here]
source: postchronicle.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(98)
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
The question "Can I tell my lover one minute isn't enough?" has finally been answered
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(212)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Caption these childhood friends
source: static.flickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(125)
 
(Denver Channel)
 
 
 
To the list that includes avian flu, flesh-eating bacteria and West Nile virus, you can now add, "eye fungus"
source: thedenverchannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(64)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
A little hard liquor helps houseplants. Feed me, Seymour, feed me
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(47)
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
South Florida woman bails out two dozen inmates because "I spent time in jail and know what it's like. It's awful in there"
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(44)
 
(Confused)
 
 
 
Sea lions may get death penalty for simply being too smart. Cute picture of perp, waiting on endangered breakfast to swim by
source: katu.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(123)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
If you are in PDX this weekend with nothing to do, Packy would like to invite you over for a piece of cake
source: katu.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(33)
 
(St. Petersburg Times)
 
 
 
State legislature considering bill cutting property taxes for Bible theme parks. Disney rushes to place cross on top of Cinderella's Castle
source: sptimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(168)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Drew will be on ZRock103 Lexington, KY this morning from 8-10am. No streaming available yet
source: zrock103.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(11)
 
(Post Chronicle)
 
 
 
If you are looking to trade sex for rent, Craigslist is your virtual pimp
source: postchronicle.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(49)
 
(Daytona Beach News-Journal)
 
 
 
U.S. Navy ship returns to port with 61,000 pounds of cocaine
source: news-journalonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(80)
 
(Toronto Star)
 
 
 
Medical marijuana stock goes public on Toronto stock exchange. Analysts predict the stock will get really, really, really high
source: thestar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(61)
 
(India Daily)
 
 
 
"Governments are notified of an extraterrestrial visitation. The Governments avoid flights, Telecommunication channels and so on in that zone to avoid any encounter with the advanced technologies"
source: indiadaily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(31)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
"American Inventor" rejected inventions. (Link goes to inspiration)
source: images.google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(81)
 
(Small Town Misfit)
 
 
 
12:38 p.m. A man at the 3100 block of West Fifth Avenue said someone had come into his house on Saturday and shaved his dog
source: smalltownmisfit.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(40)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Police somewhat surprised when the driver who led them on a 24-mile chase turned out not to be a joyriding teen or a drunk driver but a one-legged 60-year-old woman
source: sky.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(31)
 
(Some Lucky Dog)
 
 
 
Dog escapes kennel by chewing through latch and scaling seven-foot-high concrete wall topped with barbed wire. Left cryptic note about buying a little boat in Zihuatanejo
source: forbes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(75)
 
(KARE-11)
 
 
 
College students submit bill to lawmakers to mandate that Professors must speak English
source: kare11.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(362)
 
(Irish Examiner)
 
 
 
IRA double agent murdered moments before news magazine due to name him its "survivor of the year"
source: irishexaminer.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(124)
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Woman offers $16 million to Canada to end seal hunt
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(171)
 
(Pittsburgh Channel)
 
 
 
Beer truck catches fire, driver hops out, barley hurt at all
source: thepittsburghchannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(42)
 
(Toronto Star)
 
 
 
Cops, playing hockey, have their wallets, badges, and warrant cards stolen. Snidely Whiplash seen fleeing the scene
source: thestar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(26)
 
(BadJocks)
 
 
 
Is there anything hotter than a Catholic school coed, dressed as a trailer park bride, hitting a beer bong? (with pics)
source: badjocks.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(97)
 
(Scotsman)
 
 
 
Somewhat doughy author of Harry Potter pens rant against "empty-headed, self-obsessed, emaciated clones" that are modern celebrities
source: thescotsman.scotsman.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(119)
 
(Farktography)
 
 
 
Farktography Contest #48, Theme: "Less is More" Link goes to next week's contest. Please read first post
source: farktography.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(250)
 
(Scotsman)
 
 
 
Scots spray Edinburgh Castle with stinky mixture of rancid milk and orange peel to keep vandals at bay. No word how the tourists will like it
source: news.scotsman.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(24)
 


Wed April 05, 2006
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
9/11 cockpit recording to be released to public
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(439)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
This week's art mistaken as garbage brought to you from Columbia South Carolina (pic)
source: thestate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(112)
 
(Sydney Morning Herald)
 
 
 
Gold sales streak for Toyota. Golden shower for GM. Ford leery of output in Cleveland
source: smh.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(61)
 
(News & Observer)
 
 
 
Duke lacrosse players planned to go Hannibal Lecter on strippers at next party, season cancelled, coach resigns
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(216)
 
(Find your own picture)
 
 
 
Photoshop what you would do with your very own New Orleans school bus
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(87)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Soom blow-urk in Baremingnum poots ep a poh-ster 'bout 'is noo livver to say tar
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(55)
 
(The Whig)
 
 
 
Your landlord can't kick you out of your place just because you characterize him or her as a stupid doodyhead on your blog
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(53)
 
(Local6)
 
 
 
A match made in heaven, the National Enquirer announces it's moving back to Florida
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(17)
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Make sure you're taking the right medicine when you have your McDonalds-induced heart attack. You may end up with $4.5 million
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(99)
 
(TPM)
 
 
 
Okay: CNN posts mugshot of DHS pervert. Bad: The mugshot was lifted from political blog TPMmuckraker without attribution. Fark: The picture on CNN's page includes the blog's logo
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(162)
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Rice asks Congress to approve transfer of nuclear technology to India, claims it won't trigger an arms race. Also, wearing a ghost costume with a pointy white hat won't get your ass kicked in Harlem
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(135)
 
(Post Star)
 
 
 
Drunken man busted for walking into another man's home and cooking his pork chops
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(44)
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Sick post-incident email from member of the Duke lacrosse team released. The Smoking Gun is there
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(334)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Readers send in letters regarding Brett Favre's attitude of playing only if Green Bay will be a contender. General consensus is, "Die in a fire"
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(108)
 
(Cambridge News)
 
 
 
Asshat who "accidentally" smashed vases at a museum arrested
source: cambridge-news.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(81)
 
(Kuwait Times)
 
 
 
Bakery closed for keeping dough in toilet. Something about pinching a loaf
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(50)
 
(Slashdot)
 
 
 
RIAA to student: Drop out of college to pay us
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(742)
 
(STLToday)
 
 
 
Strip-club owner wins school-board election. Free lap dance with diploma!
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(63)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Panama's canal, too tight to handle biggest things in motion on the ocean, soon to be enlarged
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(66)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Man who posed as a sheik to sell bogus Rembrandt painting will find PMITA prison to be quite real
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(15)
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Today's "baby shower goes bad and three people are shot" story is brought to you by Springfield, MA
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(110)
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
Video
 
TV reporter gets soaked after knocking on door of home during investigation
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(130)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
They told Bob he couldn't hit the side of a barn with his poorly-built microlight airplane. Bob proved them wrong
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(44)
 
(ABC)
 
 
 
In another case of country-music lyrics writing themselves: Garth Brooks' ex-wife kidnapped at gunpoint
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(47)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Researchers find 9,000-year-old dental drill, still looking for 9,000-year-old rock used as anesthesia
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(53)
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Ron Jeremy critical of Osama Bin Laden. They apparently had a teste relationship
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(56)
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
As if you didn't already know this, police say there was no racism behind Congresswoman McKinney's "attack"; say that bitches come in all colors
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(309)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
FCC releases some Super Bowl complaints from this year. Basically any ad featuring attractive women got panned by the "concerned families" that complained
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(101)
 
(Newsday)
 
 
 
While driving drunk, Joseph got lost. So he decides to ask two police officers for directions. Hilarity erupts
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(35)
 
(St. Petersburg Times)
 
 
 
Florida Aquarium visitors pull body with shackled arms and legs from Tampa Bay. Not exactly the swimming with fishes experience they were looking for
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(80)
 
(WTVD)
 
 
 
FedEx: When a six-foot piece of your cargo plane's engine has to absolutely, positively plummet to Earth, land in a farmer's field
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(58)
 
(Honolulu Star-Bulletin)
 
 
 
Man dying after falling into Hawaii's poop-infested water. Will soon be lei'd to rest
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(111)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Man wants tattoo on his arm in Chinese to read "one love," ends up getting "love hurts." Also gets "sweet" on back, dude unavailable for comment
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(132)
 
(WRAL.com)
 
 
 
New lottery in NC prompts calls to gambling addiction hotline with questions like "How do I play?" and "Why didn't I win?" Where's the tag for "Redneck"?
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(82)
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
How to deal with the office jerk
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(188)
 
(IndyStar)
 
 
 
Sixteen-year-old accompanies her 22-year-old boyfriend to his probation hearing -- while carrying pot and cocaine
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(65)
 
(Philly.com)
 
 
 
Man pleads guilty of mailing bomb to doctor who botched his penis-enlargement surgery
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(57)
 
(Some Herr)
 
 
 
A German judge has ordered a man to stop laughing out loud in a forest because some complained he was disturbing the peace. Apparently the judge hasn't seen what the pope does there yet
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(39)
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
Singer Gene Pitney died, whoever that is
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(114)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Car navigation system that leads drivers to the edge of a 100-foot cliff sees drop-off in users
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(46)
 
(C|Net)
 
 
 
Company develops fabric that neutralizes tasers. Sales in Florida expected to be brisk
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(51)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Theme: The war between cats and dogs gets out of hand
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(107)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
South African politician admits he had lots of sex with HIV-positive women, but he's okay because he always took a shower right away to wash off the AIDS
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(137)
 
(Canoe)
 
 
 
Spate of wardrobe malfunctions continue
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(23)
 
(Rocky Mountain News)
 
 
 
Invoking the Pete Townsend defense, suspected child molester claims he was studying pedophiles and child porn for a manual for parents on how to prevent child sexual abuse
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(53)
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Former Met Dwight Gooden goes to the cellar. Rest of '06 Mets to be in the cellar by All-Star break
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(23)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Gold teef not stupid-looking enough for you? Bling industry to the rescue
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(208)
 
(CourtTV)
 
 
 
Cameron Diaz wins undisclosed settlement in suit over topless photos
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(56)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
McKinney now claims that she was stopped was because of her hairstyle. The fashion police agee
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(321)
 
(Beepcentral.com)
 
 
 
Man arrested after claiming prostitute he hired robbed him. Is there no justice?
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(18)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Apple releases official way to boot Windows XP on your Intel Macs
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(390)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Russian bear awakes from hibernation and declares spring has sprung. Punxatawney Phil waves his furry rodent-junk in Russia's direction
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(24)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Chinese man attempts to sell his soul on auction site. Auction gets pulled, probably because Chinese government already owns it
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(52)
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
When you agree to let a potential buyer take your car on a test-drive, remember to stipulate a distance they're allowed to test it for
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(23)
 
(NY Daily News)
 
 
 
For some reason, advertising that you will give food and shelter for sex causes a problem
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(58)
 
(Real Tech News)
 
 
 
How you can tell the iPod craze has officially gone too far
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(159)
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Passenger who sang Clash song hauled off plane as suspected terrorist. Still no law allowing Akon singing Akon songs to be hauled off stage as suspected asshat
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(190)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Fat people don't like to think of themselves as fat. In other news, researchers studying well-known psychological phenomena like to think their work has "important implications"
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(216)
 
(TKCC)
 
 
 
Construction crews tell residents that the dynamite would raise a little bit of dust, not the golf-ball-sized rocks that rained down a few blocks away
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(31)
 
(Palm Beach Post)
 
 
 
Police ask man to please not do his laundry naked, particularly if the washing machine is outside
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(17)
 
(You tube)
 
 
 
If you have a receipt, it is deductible -- according to Stephen Colbert's tax tips. (LGT video)
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(84)
 
(Some Beaver Lover)
 
 
 
Oregon State to cancel cheerleading squad over fears of injuries from grazing astroturf
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(92)
 
(St. Petersburg Times)
 
 
 
Bill to require eye tests for drivers over 80 being lobbied for by teenagers. Elderly drivers retaliate by sponsoring bill requiring high school students to pick majors
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(96)
 
(Post Chronicle)
 
 
 
Why anyone needed to fund a study to conclude that actual intercourse was more pleasurable than a night with Mary Palm and her five sisters is an enigma at best
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(83)
 
(London Times)
 
 
 
Police arrest one-legged pensioner after low-speed car chase
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(21)
 
(TPC)
 
 
 
Three teenage goths with Satanic symbols painted on their face run into a church service and start yelling profanities at the congregation. What could possibly go wrong?
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(421)
 
(WCBStv.com)
 
 
 
If you're planning to send 15 pounds of bud to a friend via DHL, you just might want to come up with a different plan. You can guess what ensued
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(95)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Drew will be on the Chip Franklin Show on 1090 WBAL sometime around 10:00 a.m. EST
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(36)
 
(NY Daily News)
 
 
 
Oy vey. Hasidim riot in Brooklyn after cops pull over 75-year-old driver talking on his cell
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(558)
 
(St. Petersburg Times)
 
 
 
Emotions running high over controversial high school bagpipe band as principal decides to do away with 40-year-old tradition
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(94)
 
(Some Bernanke)
 
 
 
Photoshop the Fed funds rate diagram
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(84)
 
(ABC)
 
 
 
Dumbass steals Detroit gas station's pump nozzles, not realizing that gas won't flow magically out of them
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(72)
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
Several kids injured when horse breaks loose during live joust, apparently unfazed by flying ostrich who quickly cleared egg level
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(59)
 
(ABC)
 
 
 
Red River crests in Fargo, mountains of sandbags only thing holding flooding back. Residents telling nature, "You have no call to get snippy with me; I'm just trying to do my job here"
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(119)
 
(TIC)
 
 
 
Police find the drunk of the night after she crawls into the back seat of their marked cruiser to sleep it off
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(43)
 
(Seattle Times)
 
 
 
Two men detained after walking from the U.S. to Russia. In other news, you can walk from the U.S. to Russia
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(118)
 
(Windows IT Pro)
 
 
 
Microsoft security expert says if you find yourself stuck with certain malware, the best action is to nuke your machine from orbit. No, really
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(222)
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
French are reportedly hopping mad after being called "lazy frogs" by British airline executive
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(122)
 
(The Times)
 
 
 
Italy's PM Silvio Berlusconi confident of re-election because seven out of nine chatline girls said that they would vote for him
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(31)
 


Tue April 04, 2006
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Newly found dinosaur resembles seven-foot-tall turkey. Basketball-sized cranberries, river of gravy still undiscovered
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(53)
 
(NewsMax)
 
 
 
SeaCode to anchor ship off the coast of California to outsource programming jobs. With bonus seamen reference
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(51)
 
(ABC 7 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Ric Romero discovers CTRL-F
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(243)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Post your favorite childhood memory(ies)
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(277)
 
(Monsters and Critics)
 
 
 
Billionaire beer baron not allowed to advertise alcohol, so he bought an airline and named it for the brand
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(55)
 
(Tampa Bay Online)
 
 
 
Department of Homeland Security press secretary arrested for trying to seduce 14-year-old girl online
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(403)
 
(Denver Channel)
 
 
 
Baltimore out of ideas: "Stop Snitching: The Sequel" production uncovered by police
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(40)
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Maxtor deletes 900 employees, defrags workforce
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(85)
 
(Just 'dropping' by)
 
 
 
Photoshop the avian terror that is striking fear in Orlando
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(61)
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Iran confidently asserts that it can repel any foreign invasion. Apparently Muhammed Saeed al-Sahaf has found another paying gig
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(250)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
The greatest impostors in history
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(140)
 
(wftv)
 
 
 
Kentucky town terrorized by wild turkey
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(61)
 
(Anchorage Press)
 
 
 
Woman successfully smuggles gun into prison by hiding it in the one place only a woman can hide an object. Is found out after gun fires when she tries to sit down (second item)
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(160)
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Full military burial for only conscientious objector ever to receive Medal of Honor
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(246)
 
(Great Falls Tribune)
 
 
 
Sixty-eight percent of Americans say they'll be able to retire comfortably. Fifty-three percent of Americans have less than $25,000 saved up. Fifteen percent of Americans being fitted for Wal-Mart greeter vests
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(218)
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Online ads offer apartments for rent in exchange for sex and light office duty, no freaks
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(50)
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Thirteen-year-old student has sex with his teacher 28 times in one week. Would have gone more but he ran out of paper bags
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(247)
 
(Mercury News)
 
 
 
Today's future Darwin Award candidate is the teacher who kept a 40MM grenade shell as paper weight, and was really, really surprised when it exploded while he was hitting it with another object
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(75)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Man dies in real life, so his World of Warcraft friends log into his account to allow players to pay their respects. Opposing guild promptly shows up at the virtual funeral and slaughters everyone in attendance
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(321)
 
(Something Awful)
 
 
 
What the United States could have done with the $250 billion spent on the war
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(268)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Ghoulish company, which "invested" in life-insurance policies for HIV-infected people in the 90s who unexpectedly survived, is whining now about having to pay their health-care premiums
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(109)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Iran tests second radar-avoiding missile. Couldn't detect where it landed, could have gone anywhere
source: edition.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(275)
 
(Billings Gazette)
 
 
 
Bars and clubs in New York City may be allowed to ban dancing. Kevin Bacon and John Lithgow arrive to debate merits of case
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(132)
 
(NWITimes.com)
 
 
 
Wife upset husband allows prostitue to move in with them
source: nwitimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(108)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
UN warns of quick spread of bird flu. This "global pandemic" has killed an alarming 108 people already since 2003. In other news, lightning strikes to be soon classified as a global killer
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(276)
 
(CBS5.com)
 
 
 
Might want to ban crack-flavored corn dogs while you're at it
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(58)
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Wal-Mart to open stores in blighted neighborhoods where it will help struggling mom-and-pop businesses thrive -- you know, like it always does
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(173)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
North Carolina idiots fill truck with electronic equipment after breaking into school, but forgot to fill the truck with gas
source: myrtlebeachonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(26)
 
(MCall)
 
 
 
Actual headline: "Some things are more damaging than prison porn"
source: mcall.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(57)
 
(The Mirror)
 
 
 
English footballer misses game due to scalding his privates with boiling water
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(54)
 
(Local6)
 
 
 
The number of 11-year-old shark-bite victims this year is up infinity percent. EVERYBODY PANIC
source: local6.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(63)
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
King Ralph announces he'll resign in six months. No, really, this is big news if you live in Alberta
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(146)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
The three scariest words in the English language: Male bikini waxing
source: dermadoctor.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(170)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this moth
source: static.flickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(118)
 
(AC-T)
 
 
 
Actual headline: "Castration case takes yet another odd twist"
source: citizen-times.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(58)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Girl sings for 21 days in a row online, gets recording contract with Sony
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(64)
 
(Arizona Star)
 
 
 
Arizona senator's son charged in new extreme sport: Rectal brooming
source: azstarnet.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(346)
 
(Twin Cities.com)
 
 
 
Charges against Daunte Culpepper dropped, just like his pants whenever he gets on a boat
source: twincities.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(45)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Forcasters are predicting eighteen billion hurricanes by August or something
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(185)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Elliot Spitzer sues spammers over pop-up adds, failed penis enlargement
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(59)
 
(First Coast News)
 
 
 
Medical school bulletin: The "No Sex with Patients" course has been cancelled this term
source: firstcoastnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(64)
 
(IOL.co.za)
 
 
 
Burglars interrupted by patron while robbing a bar do the only sensible thing: Serve him free beers until he passes out so they can continue with the robbing
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(32)
 
(Mercury News)
 
 
 
Businessman photoshops a penis onto a picture of his competitor, posts it on the web. "I'm getting phone calls from people saying, 'Do you do that kind of thing at the store?'"
source: mercurynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(33)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Director of upcoming "Dallas" film quits over casting choices. Travolta as JR? J-Lo as Sue Ellen? What could possibly go wrong?
source: yourmovies.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(95)
 
(Post Chronicle)
 
 
 
Liza Minnelli is not turned on by sex, thank the lord
source: postchronicle.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(71)
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
AP refers to police as "Big Brother" in article about gangs
source: today.reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(57)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Study finds that churchgoers live longer, mainly because they aren't out doing anything fun
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(133)
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
British resort "marries" two rabbits at festival to celebrate Easter. Naturally, animal-rights activists lose their mind because the animals were "belittled" (with pic of bunnies)
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(130)
 
(The Newspaper)
 
 
 
It's gotten so you can't even run an extortion racket without some guy taking offense
source: thenewspaper.com   |   share: