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Sun January 15, 2006
Source     Fark Headline Comments
(BBC)
 
 
 
Woman banned from beach after trying to kill herself there...over 30 times
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
Under new rules, New Zealand cab drivers will have to take English comprehension test before being allowed to pick up passengers
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Aircraft spends two hours flying over a harbor looking for stricken sailors who sent out a distress signal. Turns out it was just a defective digital television receiver sending out an SOS
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
Senators agree that President Bush may need to use military force as a last resort...stop me if you've heard this one before
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV)
 
 
 
Couple arrested for fight over steak at restaurant. Cops say such incidents are rare but these two are well and truly done
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Are you ready?)
 
 
 
Official "24" season premiere discussion thread
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this wasp nest
source: static.flickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
The only two sure things in this world are death and taxes. It's pretty hard to know what's gonna happen with taxes, but here's how you're gonna die
source: thedeathpsychic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Web India123)
 
 
 
Ric Romero travels to Britain, discovers that Brits prefer relaxing and sex while on vacation
source: news.webindia123.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Marijuana discovered in burning house, after firefighters were observed fleeing the scene to go to Burger King
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Thousands of people call do-it-yourself hearing test hotline to find out if they're deaf yet
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(St. Petersburg Times)
 
 
 
Where would we be without another cell-phone-covered-in-poo thread? (with pic of mad poo lady)
source: sptimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Real Tech News)
 
 
 
39 megapixel digital camera costs more than a BMW
source: realtechnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News24)
 
 
 
In addition to "No shirts" and "No shoes" rules malls in Zimbabwe have a "Goatskin loin cloths" provision that can get you thrown out
source: news24.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Purdue)
 
 
 
What personal computers might look like in the future
source: news.uns.purdue.edu   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Colts going to the Superbowl... If they can find good seats
source: sports.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Marshall Mathers officially back together with Kim Mathers, claiming he only did it to get some Jerry Mathers
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
I saw the best minds of my generation destroyed by madness, starving, hysterical, naked and going to the new Beat museum in San Francisco, man
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Four out of 10 emergency calls in Australia are for real emergencies. The remainder are to report Prince Albert is trapped in a can
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
Male news anchors now in the minority. Ron Burgundy surrenders, tells San Diego to go fark itself
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop these cuddly little bears
source: seattletimes.nwsource.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
Official Sunday NFL divisional round discussion thread
source: sports.espn.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Rhode Island: "OK, we'll legalize medical marijuana. Good luck trying to find a place to buy it"
source: mercurynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tom)
 
 
 
Is Quantum Entanglement the future of teleportation?
source: quantumbiocommunication.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sunday Times S.A.)
 
 
 
The language of Shakespeare is at the mercy of young girls, the most influential group speaking English today
source: sundaytimes.co.za   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Kuwaiti emir passes away before Jamie Farr can be employed as his stunt double
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(digg)
 
 
 
Mythbusters "lost" experiments. Thread to be filled with pictures of Kari and drool
source: dsc.discovery.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Man solves Rubik's Cube in 11.13 seconds; will next attempt to build a time machine to take him back to 1982, when this kind of thing still mattered
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop these masks for Chinese New Year
source: seattletimes.nwsource.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
New York group wants to ban windmills, in part because they sound like "the noises Nazi troops tortured Jews with during the holocaust."
source: wired.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Independent)
 
 
 
Environmental group sucks up Michael Palin's 44 tons of carbon dioxide emissions because he is quite a nice guy, albeit a bit smelly
source: news.independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Greenpeace to rethink their human shield style protest after a Japanese whaling vessel launchs a harpoon across their dingy, knocking one of their human dingys overboard
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mainichi Daily News)
 
 
 
At 25x40 meters, the worlds largest kite was flown in Tokyo (with spiffy pic)
source: mdn.mainichi-msn.co.jp   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mirror)
 
 
 
Bad: drunk driving; Worse: having no insurance; Worst: no licence; Worster: taking car without permission; Worcestershire: having 7 kids in car
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Khaleej Times)
 
 
 
Employers asking Moroccan women for sex in return for jobs in Spain, mostly on the plain
source: khaleejtimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tampa Bay Online)
 
 
 
University department decides to clean up around the office, finds $275,000 in undeposited checks and cash
source: tampatrib.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Asia1.com)
 
 
 
Couple in taxi become understandably nervous when cabbie says 'If I step on the pedal, all three of us will die together,' and 'You know, a rear end collision would crush the back seat passengers to death.' Then it got weird
source: newpaper.asia1.com.sg   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NFL.com)
 
 
 
The pizza will be hot, the beer will be cold, but the Pats won't be playin' in this year's Super Bowl
source: superbowl.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Christian Science Monitor)
 
 
 
MIT grows algae in smokestacks, reducing CO2 emission by 40% while generating biodiesel
source: csmonitor.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ktva.com)
 
 
 
Alaska governor using Napoleon Dynamite catchphrase "flippin' sweet" in speeches to describe Alaska's future. Much like the movie, lawmakers don't see what's so funny
source: ktva.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(IOL.ie)
 
 
 
George Clooney thinks that he caused John Kerry to lose the election by not riding on a train with him
source: breakingnews.iol.ie   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Filipinos have way too much fun naming their kids, as evidenced by Sunday, Popcorn, Fark, and Hitler
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Independent)
 
 
 
Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad may be acting recklessly to start final apocalyptic battle, which would bring about return of 12th Imam. No, really
source: news.independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sat January 14, 2006
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Land taken from a furniture maker for a public animal shelter will instead be sold to a different furniture maker that makes campaign donations
source: ktla.trb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this Victorian woman riding her ostrich
source: people.brandeis.edu   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New Scientist)
 
 
 
Brazilian astronauts to visit Space Station. Bush asks how they'll fit that many up there
source: newscientistspace.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
Top 10 acting performances by athletes brought to you by ESPN 8 - The Ocho
source: espn.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(7Online (WABC))
 
 
 
Psst. Buddy, wanna buy a bridge? No, not the Brooklyn Bridge. This one is in the Bronx. Hello?
source: abclocal.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Mass. school to recruit Japanese students if they can convince them Ted Kennedy is not a big-headed monster bent on world domination who will grow to gigantic size when first attacked and then require a new special manuever to defeat
source: washtimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Ginger might relieve chemotherapy side effects, Gilligan's blue balls
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Conan O'Brien may be affecting Finland's Presidental Election
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cleveland Plain Dealer)
 
 
 
19 Sex offenders share one home, Cry of "Dibs" echoes whenever girl scouts ring the bell with cookies
source: cleveland.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
After 155 years, Marines no longer guarding crypt of Led Zeppelin bassist
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Small Town Misfit)
 
 
 
Woman attacks her neighbors' homes with various items including golf balls, honey and silly string. But when cops arrive to stop her, she goes for the nuts
source: smalltownmisfit.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
The Clampetts have received their trailer from FEMA. w/ pic goodness
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Furry Guy)
 
 
 
Man takes laser wielding follicle fryers to court, wins by a hair
source: theage.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Triangle)
 
 
 
Aliens invented HIV in order to wipe out the human population so that they can invade
source: thetriangle.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Academy Award-winning actress Shelley Winters has died at 85
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The State.com)
 
 
 
Old McDonald had a farm / E-I-E-I-O / And on his farm he had some whores / E-I-E-I-O
source: thestate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
"In most places, a politician has to kiss babies in order to succeed. Arkansas politicians have to eat raccoon"
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Newspaper)
 
 
 
Businessman buys $180,000 car advertised as "the best way to attract attention"; has it confiscated by police because its tires squealed
source: thenewspaper.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sheboygan Press)
 
 
 
Police pull man over and tell him he's under arrest. Man tries the old "No, I'm not" defense before punching officer in the groin. Hilarity ensues
source: sheboygan-press.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Jennifer Aniston's breasts saturate public. TSG is there
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
"High Court says no free speech for penis"
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
City's beer ban lifted after 131 years
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFMY)
 
 
 
Gene Simmons and company planning to open the "KISS Coffeehouse" soon. Where else could you get a KISS Frozen Rockuccino?
source: wfmy.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NY Daily News)
 
 
 
Homeless millionaire says he just can't make do on a $3,000 a month allowance from his $2.7M trust fund. We all have our crosses to bear
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this Innocent painting
source: gallery.euroweb.hu   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sky)
 
 
 
Bird flu may have started its European tour as man in Belgium treated for suspected case
source: sky.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Iwon)
 
 
 
Yo Yo Ma named United Nations peace ambassador. Yo Mama's so big, she *is* a nation
source: apnews1.iwon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
Official Saturday NFL divisional round discussion thread
source: espn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
Man accused of using credit card of star NFL quarterback
source: sports.espn.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Classic Driver)
 
 
 
Scoop: First look at Ferrari's successor to the 575 M -- the 620 horsepower 599 GTB
source: classicdriver.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Military.com)
 
 
 
Soldiers upgrading armor on Humvees, adding the thing that goes woo-woo-woo
source: military.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Mongolian Prime Minister Tsakhilganiin Elbegdorj kdej eshmzatlanka aj38ofjer4
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mainichi Daily News)
 
 
 
Japanese scientists build world's biggest earthquake simulator to learn how to build quake-resistant buildings
source: mdn.mainichi-msn.co.jp   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(asahi.com)
 
 
 
Mean, selfish "devil wives" becoming increasingly popular with their Japanese husbands
source: asahi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
No. 3 Al Qaeda guy demoted, told to go make more coffee
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Quack)
 
 
 
Photoshop the final battle between Donald Duck and Daffy Duck
source: google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Lawyer accused of kidnapping client on his wedding day because he wouldn't pay his legal bill
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Firefighters free trapped kitten from chimney by barking it down
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cincinnati.com)
 
 
 
Man, accused of hurling racial slurs at black cab driver, sentenced to six weeks of Sunday worship at predominantly African-American churches. Oh, this oughta go over really well
source: news.cincinnati.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Fri January 13, 2006
(Pharyngula)
 
 
 
Photoshop this diver with his monstrous jellyfish
source: pharyngula.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Peninsula Daily News)
 
 
 
City officials unamused when majestic elk sculpture at city limits discovered to have 2.5-foot-long "male appendage" attached to it
source: peninsuladailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
When attending court on charges of drinking in public, you really shouldn't arrive stinking drunk while carrying a plastic bag full of beer bottles
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WJXT-4)
 
 
 
Man who killed policeman for having an "A" on his ballcap has been sentenced to get Xs for his eyes
source: news4jax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WebMD)
 
 
 
Caffeine acts as a sex potion for women. Give your gal a Coke and a smile
source: webmd.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Star-Ecentral.com)
 
 
 
New Guns N' Roses album due in March 2006
source: star-ecentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
No. 3 Al Qaeda guy possibly promoted
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Scotsman)
 
 
 
Charges dropped in the case of the man arrested for calling a police horse "gay." Not that there is anything wrong with being a horse
source: news.scotsman.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Coma coma, down dooby doo, down down, waking up is hard to do
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
State senator looks to make being farked to death by a horse illegal. After all, how can that horse love again now?
source: seattlepi.nwsource.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WGAL)
 
 
 
Shark foils attempt at underwater juggling record. With pics
source: wgal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsbusters)
 
 
 
Seattle Times, per policy, doesn't use "redskin." The Seahawks play the Redskins this weekend. The Redskins are from Washington; Seattle is in Washington. Sportswriters heads asplode
source: newsbusters.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Space.com)
 
 
 
Mercury may have been formed by cosmic "hit and run" accident. Lizzie Grubman unavailable for comment
source: space.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Local6)
 
 
 
Woman who regularly dressed as Aunt Jemima has been banned from attending city council meetings in Jacksonville. Waffle House says she's still welcome at their place
source: local6.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Fox executives pause from downloading midget porn and sniffing rails long enough to schedule the two-hour "Arrested Development" finale to air opposite the Olympics opening ceremonies
source: sepinwall.blogspot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Journal Star)
 
 
 
Dumb: You break into a friend's apartment looking for drug money. Dumber: It's the wrong apartment. FARK.com: Despite your heartfelt apologies, the residents call the police, who show up at your friend's apartment and bust him for having pot
source: journalstar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
High school freshmen asked to research porn online. Blind boy with hairy hands gets A+
source: wkyc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SABC)
 
 
 
Woman at hospital with her sick child is disturbed by "huffing and puffing", at first she feared the big bad wolf but it turned out to just be a student nurse sex orgy
source: sabcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NCBuy)
 
 
 
Trial for Washington Redskins safety Sean Taylor, accused of pointing a loaded gun at someone, has been postponed so he won't miss the playoffs. I'm sure we all agree that's fair
source: kevxml2a.infospace.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Chinese map purports to claim that the Chinese discovered America in 1418, beating Columbus by 74 years. In other news, Vikings smirk
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Stop the presses! Jennifer Aniston's ex-husband did not call her to say he knocked up his new girlfriend
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Man gets $5 million for Everglades house he bought for $60,000; complains that he got the worse of the deal
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Tennessean)
 
 
 
Senator elected by the undead in Memphis is starting to look like one of her constituents
source: tennessean.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Sober man flees from cops demanding breathalyzer, crashes car anyway
source: today.reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Contact Music)
 
 
 
Top movies to watch when ill differs by gender
source: contactmusic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Seattle Times)
 
 
 
Couple requests form from IRS, receives shipment of 24,000 copies of the wrong form
source: seattletimes.nwsource.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Officer.com)
 
 
 
Man pulled over by cop who was allegedly "offended" by pro-pot sticker, is given ticket for "dangling air freshener"
source: officer.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Unaware of last four years of history, Iran threatens to block UN inspections
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Reminder: Milwaukee Fark party tonight. 8:00 p.m. BW3s on Mayfair Road. (LGT original announcement with map)
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(IOL.co.za)
 
 
 
Happy Friday the 13th, when media trots out "paraskevidekatriaphobia" once again
source: int.iol.co.za   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Google)
 
 
 
Today's Iron Photoshop theme: Duct tape
source: images.google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Five upset papprazzi hide in the crowd at a movie premiere, jump out and start shooting Heath Ledger with water pistols
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Meet the woman who didn't say "no" to a date for one year. Her 150 dates included a homeless man, several non-English speakers, 10 taxi drivers, two lesbians and a mime
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
New Jersey moves closer to answering "what's that smell?" after a third of Trenton's police cruisers tested are found to have illegal emissions levels. The other two-thirds failed the equipment inspection
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
The woman killed repeatedly in Eminem's lyrics has decided that he must not be all that bad, files for remarriage
source: today.reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Courtney Love to sell Cobain catalogue for $100 million. No word yet on how much cocaine and clown makeup that will buy
source: theobsessivemessenger.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tampa Bay Online)
 
 
 
Ancient remains found in downtown Miami. Skeletons had black socks and sandals, short pants hiked up to chest
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Scientists to create the ultimate bachelor: A human-rabbit hybrid that subsists soley on stale Trix and beer while impregnating hundreds of women
source: edition.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP via KESQ)
 
 
 
Outraged "reformer" Pelosi, five other Dems arrive in Jamaica for five-days of fact-finding. Nice tan, Nancy
source: kesq.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Houston Press)
 
 
 
Man who claims dealership sold him a lemon protests by living in a van outside the dealer's lot (with pic)
source: houstonpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Donner family not cannibals, rest of Santa's reindeer relieved
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
David Hasselhoff, spouse getting divorced; custody fight over the KITTs expected
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
One of these NFL playoff pundits is not like the other, one of these pundits just doesn't belong, can you guess who's not on board with the godlike Tom Brady before I finish this song?
source: sportsillustrated.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Iranian Foreign Minister Moocher Mistake warns of "consequences" for the West if Iran referred to Security Council. In more important news, there is an Iranian named Moocher Mistake
source: today.reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reason)
 
 
 
John Stossel to take on the public-school monopoly, which turns out kids dumber than fat Belgian bastards
source: reason.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Burlington Free Press)
 
 
 
Dog sodomizer caught behaving badly again, at least within his own species this time
source: burlingtonfreepress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
First female crash test dummy developed. First test will involve the over-the-cupholder BJ position. Like you weren't thinking the same thing
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wired)
 
 
 
Anytime "dildo" and "pogo stick" are combined, you need to watch out. (SFW article)
source: wired.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(news14charlotte.com)
 
 
 
Mayors of Charlotte, Chicago make friendly wager on game. If Panthers win, Chicago will get BBQ with all the fixin's; if Bears win, Charlotte to get corruption, scandals
source: news14charlotte.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News24)
 
 
 
Russian state circus gives elephants two litres of vodka a day to keep out the cold
source: news24.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NCBuy)
 
 
 
USDA using satellite imagery to monitor farmers' planting cycles, irrigation, wackiness of tobaccy
source: kevxml2a.infospace.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Chinese brides heavily favor honeymoons in doggie-style
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KY)
 
 
 
Pamela Anderson thinks that removing a bust of Colonel Sanders from KY state capital will help save chickens, apparently unconcerned about kitten deaths from her pictures on the Internet
source: news.nky.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ua.edu)
 
 
 
Over 21,000 University of Alabama students collectively freak out when an email error tells the entire student body that they're being dropped
source: cw.ua.edu   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buffalo News)
 
 
 
Man robs Burger King restaurant, returns the following week to apply for a job -- and is hired
source: buffalonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Tyco to split into three companies: Liquor, arcane vocabulary and wang
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
British workers keep streets safe by using CCTV cameras to monitor woman showering, using the toilet and watching TV dressed only in a towel
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Couple who have only chatted online and never met face-to-face get married over Internet. What could possibly go wrong?
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KATV)
 
 
 
Woman suffers third-degree burns after a cigarette she dropped ignited oxygen she had been using thru nasal tubes
source: katv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BrokenNewz)
 
 
 
Torture ban to still allow "Naked Dude Pyramids"
source: brokennewz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salt Lake Tribune)
 
 
 
Turns out Clinton did not authorize warrantless wiretaps
source: sltrib.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(San Jose Mercury News)
 
 
 
Axl Rose suing car dealership for failing to live up to their promises. Like, you know, saying you're working on an album, and then 10 years later it's still not finished
source: mercurynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sofia News Agency)
 
 
 
Bulgaria bans banana-shaped toys
source: novinite.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Survey shows British youths would rather be famous than smart. Judging from the response, the latter doesn't seem possible
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this little slider
source: i8.photobucket.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Norway is planning to build a "doomsday vault" inside a mountain on an Arctic island to hold a seed bank of all known varieties of the world's crops
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Turn a slow song into a fast song -- or vice versa
source: google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Government to begin selling airwaves for Internet in the airplane, increasing odds that the person in the next seat will try to join the Mile-High Club by himself
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Study finds some 3.5 million Ashkenazi Jews come from four women, and boy are they tired
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Gallery of custom corn mazes
source: mazeplay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Homestar Runner)
 
 
 
Happy Trogday: Three-year anniversary of the more different S
source: homestarrunner.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Seacoast Online)
 
 
 
Woman stays sane by telling anybody who will listen about her vagina
source: seacoastconnects.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Man in India to kiss 50 poisonous snakes. Stunt was apparently outsourced
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Arizona ski resort to make yellow snow. Urine trouble if you fall over
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Ice dwarfs are the most populous group in the solar system, surpassing even wood elves and fire giants
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZCentral)
 
 
 
Woman survives for six days in wrecked vehicle by sucking moisture from a towel. Misses record for most days of consecutive sucking, still held by Duke University
source: azcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(wsbtv)
 
 
 
It's just bad luck when police find your indoor marijuana garden because some drunk driver crashes into your apartment
source: wsbtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYDN)
 
 
 
Man trimming weeds on his brother-in-law's grave finds himself dropping in to meet him. "It was exactly out of a horror movie. It was like being buried alive," he said, shuddering
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Thu January 12, 2006
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Theme: Soccer vs. American Football -- The Final Battle
source: google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Herald Tribune (SW Florida))
 
 
 
Wendy's skimping on the tomato, blaming all those hurricanes
source: heraldtribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Study finds electric shock therapy still best cure for depression, noting the people who administer it are almost never depressed, particularly when they don't like their patients
source: guardian.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Tip the Pizza Guy: Hilarious and true stories from pizza dudes (and some chicks)
source: tipthepizzaguy.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Suburban Chicago News)
 
 
 
Aurora, Illinois might require anyone selling anything door-to-door to have a permit. Yes, that includes the Girl Scouts
source: suburbanchicagonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
It's that time of the week when Pat Robertson issues an apology for his latest remarks
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Contact Music)
 
 
 
Shatner to carry on with his three ears: The left, right and final front ear
source: contactmusic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Israel suspends contact with Pat Robertson. Nobody is sure why Israel was in contact with Pat Robertson to begin with
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Hospital goof means man spent vigil at bedside of woman who, technically, was not his dying mother at all
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsday)
 
 
 
Man claims 9/11 caused him to rob 15 banks, the trrsts have won
source: newsday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
People who say nothing exciting ever happens in Kansas weren't in the fifth-grade classroom for the deer assault
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Lying author's attorneys threaten The Smoking Gun to stop them from calling him a lying liar. The Smoking Gun is there
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Three people in Michigan courtroom sickened after shaking man's hand. In related news, five people in Des Moines elevator were sickened after pulling man's finger
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Gal)
 
 
 
Today's second "skull found whilst remodeling home" story brought to you by Chevy Chase, MD. Trifecta in three... two...
source: nbc4.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Today's "hungry burglar cooking food on the job" brought to you by Cedar Rapids, Iowa
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wall Street Journal)
 
 
 
Analysis reveals that senators on the Judiciary Committee talked about themselves an average of 60 percent more than they actually talked to Alito. Next up: Complaints that we don't know enough about the candidate
source: adeimantus.blogspot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KXAN dot com)
 
 
 
Bad: You're a white supremist. Worse: You are arrested for various carjackings. Fark: Your mother calls and threatens your victims
source: kxan.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
CEO defends Sago mine as "safe operation"; calls Marilyn Chambers "virginal" and Fudgie the Whale cake an "elegant dessert"
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Contact Music)
 
 
 
Paul Stanley of KISS to have hip replacement surgery; hopes someone will keep kids off his lawn while he's in hospital
source: contactmusic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Hundreds killed in Mecca pilgrimage. Unfortunately, this seems to be an expected part of the annual event
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
UN claims $1.5B needed to fight bird flu, or at least to threaten it a bit until a few countries step up and actually do something
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(previous thread)
 
 
 
D.C./NoVA Fark Party at Whitlow's on Wilson in Arlington, Friday, January 27th. Details in thread
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NewsWatch50)
 
 
 
Due to the severity of the hurricane season in the south, Allstate will no longer offer coverage to people in New York
source: newswatch50.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Government to install metal poles four feet apart on the Mexican border. Because hey, nothing stops people from running across like poles spaced four feet apart
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Oakland A's center fielder Milton Bradley files for divorce, sending him back five spaces in the game of life
source: sports.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Virginian-Pilot)
 
 
 
Republican legislator refered to as "Turkey Baster Bob" has introduced a bill to assure that unmarried women will have only one option if they wish to become pregnant: Namely to have unprotected sex with yahoos just like himself
source: home.hamptonroads.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Judge says Cubans sent back after getting to bridge was wrong. Cheers heard coming from Cuban jail cell
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Renee Zellweger seen in sandwich shop
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(futonreport.net)
 
 
 
If they picked NFL pro bowlers based on how many points their names are worth in Scrabble...
source: futonreport.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Restaurant sued, claiming man killed by airborne shrimp at Benihana. Related lawsuit claims carpal tunnel from chopsticks
source: wcbs880.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
DNA test confirms Virginia inmate put to death in 1992 was guilty
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(1010WINS)
 
 
 
New Jersey strippers hold anti-anti-smoking law protest. Poles and smokers should be worked into this headline somehow
source: 1010wins.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Mayor attacks NYC's unhealthy habits, such as smoking, eating fatty foods and betting on Jets
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NewsWatch50)
 
 
 
Melissa Joan Hart becomes a MIWNLF (with scary pic)
source: newswatch50.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
((Star Bulletin)
 
 
 
"Lost" star pleads guilty to DUI
source: starbulletin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Eagles used to prey on our ancestors, scientists say -- apparently with never-ending "farewell" tours
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Google)
 
 
 
Theme: Make your own Minor League Baseball team logo
source: images.google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Las Vegas Sun)
 
 
 
Scientists: Alaska volcano may erupt again, or it may not. We could really go either way on this
source: lasvegassun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Star Tribune)
 
 
 
Self-professed vampire plans on running for governor of Minnesota. Platform includes promise of better health care for veterans, impalement of criminals in front of state capital
source: jonathonforgovernor.us   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Five Danish soldiers guilty of Iraq torture, but won't serve time due to Europeans' moral superiority over everyone else
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC4.tv)
 
 
 
Even though they knew the location, Sprint refuses to tell cops the whereabouts of a stolen SUV with 10-month-old and Sprint GPS phone inside because of privacy issues
source: nbc4.tv   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News&Observer.com)
 
 
 
Radio dispatchers send trooper to check reports of a big bird crossing the road. It wasn't a chicken
source: newsobserver.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(1010WINS)
 
 
 
For the eighth time in nine years, NY Islanders fire their coach. You can submit this with a funnier headline next year when they do it again
source: 1010wins.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salt Lake Tribune)
 
 
 
Throwing another passenger into the aisle, claiming that your uncle impregnated you with Jesus and that Bush caused it all to happen is not a good way to make friends. It is, however, a great way to force an emergency landing
source: sltrib.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Times)
 
 
 
Virginia city repeals law that banned living with relatives
source: washingtontimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toronto Star)
 
 
 
People pulled over for using HOV lanes without passengers are often found to have outstanding arrest warrants, no insurance, no licence or switched plates
source: thestar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsday)
 
 
 
D.A. who campaigned on a platform of merit-based hiring wastes little time in hiring her sister-in-law as executive assistant
source: newsday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Man breaks leg while kicking spider
source: theage.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
VH1 to air sitcom based on Tori Spelling's life. There has to be a Mr. Ed joke there somewhere
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Dogs may be used to sniff out cancer. In other news, doctors report that the No. 1 source of cancer is other dogs' asses, and the No. 2 source is the crotch of your houseguests
source: today.reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Scientists discover that ants have teacher-pupil relationships, which are probably just as inappropriate as they are in the human world
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Mary Poppins the Cat rescued after being drywalled into the ceiling for five days
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
"Computer stress" latest excuse offered by Britons to justify starting drinking at 10:00 a.m
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Steelers crush Colts in Techmo Bowl preview of this weekend's game
source: exburgher.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZCentral)
 
 
 
Lohan, Moss' dance at topless bar, although neither could be seen behind the pole
source: azcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wall Street Journal)
 
 
 
Lawmakers to porn spammers: You have to check out this list of kids' email addresses first, and not send to them
source: online.wsj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Court TV)
 
 
 
Man sues AOL chatroom buddies over "humiliation"
source: courttv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Sun-Times)
 
 
 
Man remodeling 19th-century house finds old skull in ceiling. ''We didn't expect to find something like that,'' says homeowner Mr. Jerry Obvious
source: suntimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Oxford University student spends night in cells after asking a policeman on horseback, "Excuse me, do you realise your horse is gay?"
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toledo Blade)
 
 
 
If, while at work, you visit a website 19,200 times in less than three months, you can get fired. Of course, this was submitted from work
source: toledoblade.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Good: Hanging out with a couple of buddies. Better: Beer and a game to watch. Fark: Add a big-ass bag of chips with a seasoned and cooked rat inside to munch on and everything is perfect
source: sovokoftheweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
U.S. Mint ships new nickel with Jefferson facing forward, with handwritten "Liberty" and enigmatic "WTF?" abbreviation
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsday)
 
 
 
In the first intelligent thing he's said in two weeks, Senator Joe Biden suggests scrapping hearings on Supreme Court nominees because they are pretty much useless
source: newsday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deseret News)
 
 
 
In a stunning reversal of policy, Ku Klux Klan becomes multicultural, admits first black member. What could possibly go wrong?
source: deseretnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Taiwan breeds a flourescent green pig (with pic)
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Hi ho! This is Kermit the Frog and I want to talk to you kids today about the dangers of global-warming-induced fungal infections
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Local10 WPLG)
 
 
 
In a report ghostwritten by Ric Romero, we learn that people tend to fear and avoid large alligators
source: local10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News-Record.com)
 
 
 
Greensboro police chief in trouble for covering up a "secret police" force that kept tabs on black officers
source: news-record.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NY Daily News)
 
 
 
"A Million Little Pieces" author says controversy has made him fight off temptation to get high again, but he may have made that up
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Minneapolis Star Tribune)
 
 
 
If "Caspian James Chrichton Stuart the Fourth, the Fifth Duke of Cleveland" tries to register in your school, he's probably a registered sex offender
source: startribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsradio88)
 
 
 
It is really important to make sure all your lights are working if you're going to drive your car at night with $100,000 in marijuana on board
source: wcbs880.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Hero that stopped the My Lai masacre dies
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News24)
 
 
 
Problem: Drunk doctors and nurses need way to get home from party, but don't want to pay cab fare. Solution: Call ambulance
source: news24.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Man gets death sentence for killing man he thought was the anti-Christ. Unfortunately, he picked the wrong man and the world will still be forced to endure the comedy of Carrot Top
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MetroWest Daily News)
 
 
 
Snowman shirts are popular among rebellious teens due to the connection with cocaine dealing, but wearing one to your arraignment on murder charges might be taking rebellion a bit too far
source: metrowestdailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Nerve)
 
 
 
Check out fark mod Corporate Mofo's new column on Nerve. First up: Liberating European women from Hitler and underpants (story SFW, site NFSW)
source: nerve.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Prisoner who had sex change and transferred to women's prison changes mind, wants to become man and return to PMITA prison again
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
You see a dead bear on the road. Do you think: A) Road kill? B) Gift from the spirits? Since you're reading this here, you can assume B was chosen with the usual hilarity once the DEP got involved
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Forbes)
 
 
 
Sidney Frank, inventor of Grey Goose vodka, has died at 86
source: forbes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Komo)
 
 
 
How often has this happened to you? You go out to your car and there's a sea lion sitting on top of it
source: komotv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Judge rules that fetuses don't count as extra passengers for the HOV lane. No word yet whether that ruling extends to include plastic Jesuses and cute cartoon suction-cup felines
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(1010WINS)
 
 
 
Vets conduct eye surgery on penguins to correct cataracts, program them to take down Batman and Robin
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Take the amount of dog food in the field, multiply by the rate of poison, multiply by the average settlement. A times B times C equals X. If X is less than the cost of a recall, we don't do one
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Richmond Times-Dispatch)
 
 
 
Man's unusually large bicep turns out to be $10,000 in cash wrapped in a towel. Man reportedly not happy to see police officers, really did have gun in his pants
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Real Tech News)
 
 
 
Symantec admits anti-spyware program riddled with "kits"
source: realtechnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LBC 97.3)
 
 
 
Man gets four kids to rob a house; makes them sign a note promising not to tell about their "caper"
source: tampabays10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop these snow dogs
source: i6.photobucket.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Last reminder: San Diego "Escape the Winter" Fark Party, January 20-22. (Details in link)
source: farkparty.romproductions.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
Boston goes berzerk for gourmet mini burgers, blames gourmet farts on the dog
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News5 Akron)
 
 
 
Woman briefly hospitalized after boyfriend throws sex toy at her
source: newsnet5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SE Missourian)
 
 
 
Woman charged with holding officers hostage so that she could get naked in front of them
source: semissourian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Kilt-wearing Missouri high school boy wins apology
source: uk.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Why you should choose your font carefully (NSFW text)
source: 6v6gt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Wed January 11, 2006
(The Raw Feed)
 
 
 
Mini-Me to hawk mini-mp3 player. Reports are in that it's still bigger than his penis
source: therawfeed.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Theme: Muppet mayhem
source: kernslastresort.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Inmate kills himself because he found life on death row too "stressful"
source: fortwayne.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LLN)
 
 
 
Today's drivers can't drive properly without high tech systems like ABS and DSC to save them
source: leftlanenews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Your college is not a technical school
source: iwillteachyoutoberich.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Space.com)
 
 
 
Best image yet of the Orion Nebula made available today. Still no sign of green slave women
source: space.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Canada's oil supplies to surpass Saudi Arabia's, Bush being briefed by the CIA about Canada's WMD's and terrorist training camps. Invasion in three... two... one...
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(cbs11tv.com)
 
 
 
Students who failed to complete homework are suspended. Kids shrug and enjoy extended winter break
source: cbs11tv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Hippie Chick)
 
 
 
Pagan kids have their own version of Scouting. Their cookies do not contain Girl Scouts
source: metrotimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
A woman who hijacks the PA systems on public trains and broadcasts sex talk and X-rated messages has struck again
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSTP)
 
 
 
Federal agents seize 30,000 loaves of bread in dispute over how wheat-free is spelt
source: kstp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ksl.com)
 
 
 
Cow serial killer at large in Utah. Ranchers offer $11K bounty
source: ksl.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Farktography)
 
 
 
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 36: "Black and white photography." Link goes to next week's contest. Please read first post
source: farktography.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
In a stunning blow to my new year resolution, only 24 percent of Americans think overweight people are unattractive
source: seattlepi.nwsource.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
New study: For every $1.00 of taxes collected by IRS, Americans spend 22 cents to comply with the tax laws
source: taxprof.typepad.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
NBC schedules 416 hours of Winter Olympics coverage for all of you fans of 50 kilometer cross-country skiing and two-man luge
source: today.reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
To ease prison overcrowding, Idaho wants to make inmates share a bed and sleep in shifts, AKA "hot racking." What could possibly go wrong?
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
"Here's hoping that Vick learns that no amount of money or glory can fill the hole that currently resides within him." He'll learn all about glory and his hole in PMITA prison
source: sportsillustrated.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(nola.com)
 
 
 
FEMA worker loots storm-ravaged house while the plumber looks on. Except the "plumber" was actually the returning homeowner
source: nola.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop Evil Bert into action movies
source: z.about.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(11Alive)
 
 
 
Marion Barry claims to have been set up. Again
source: 11alive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NCBuy)
 
 
 
Telecommuting could be flu antidote. In other news, Internet porn could be flu antidote
source: kevxml2a.infospace.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ctv.ca)
 
 
 
Blind man poisoned by blind lover. Didn't see it coming
source: ctv.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC 10)
 
 
 
About that turnpike kitty, It turns out it was more like 30 miles, not 70, a Ford Taurus rather than an SUV and the cat was tucked in an engine compartment rather than hanging onto the bottom of the vehicle
source: nbc10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Aint-It-Cool-News)
 
 
 
Official "Lost" discussion thread. First new episode since November. Link goes to some future spoilers (in invisotext)
source: aintitcool.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Beam weapons almost ready for battle (with pic)
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WGAL)
 
 
 
Score one for academic freedom: "The Earth, My Butt and Other Round Things" returns to school shelves in Maryland
source: wgal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
BC finds new ACC tougher than Big East, starts 0-3. If they think that's bad, wait until they face Suck U
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Eagles give Rosenhaus permission to seek trade for T.O. in an operation titled "Trojan Horse"
source: sports.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Scientists discover the plants really are our enemies and are slowly killing the planet with a blanket of suffocating greenhouse gases
source: today.reuters.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
It appears that a "Million Little Pieces" has turned into a million big refunds
source: us.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Looks like the United States isn't the only country China is destroying: UK trade deficit hits record high
source: politics.guardian.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
In Colombia, the excuse "I don't have a condom, but I really love you baby" will no longer work
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Border Patrol discovers tunnel near San Diego; not sure if it was used by drug smugglers or disgruntled Padres fans
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Netjak)
 
 
 
Jack Thompson ends an otherwise polite and cordial interview by saying videogames are "masturbatory" and people who play them need to "get a life." This is news?
source: netjak.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Detroit Pistons Dance Team are prostituting themselves out. In other news, the first ever NBA vs. NFL game to be played between Detroit Pistons and Minnesota Vikings
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Head of Qantas frisked at airport because security guard didn't believe a woman could be head of an airline
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
The senator who let a girl drown in his car is asking Alito a lot of questions about matters involving the Concerned Alumni of Princeton that are 20 to 33 years in the past
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(timesonline.co.uk)
 
 
 
Pat Robertson retracts his remarks about Sharon after Israelis withdraw support for his "Jesusland" theme park in Galilee. "Followup" nudges out "Obvious," barely
source: timesonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZCentral)
 
 
 
Arizona allows severely vision-impaired drivers to get behind the wheel using special-optic telescopes to see. What could possibly go wrong?
source: azcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Optimism returns to U.S. stock markets, plans to finally end his war with Megatrism once and for all
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Police have a pretty good idea who vandalized an elementary school because one of the vandals was kind enough to leave a photocopy of his face for them
source: today.reuters.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSNBC)
 
NewsFlash
 
Mount Augustine volcano in Alaska erupts. Visual confirmation expected within days, once sun finally rises
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Local6)
 
 
 
Hamsters' biology not Gered toward long hours of darkness, often resulting in depression
source: local6.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Burned CDs only have a lifespan of a few years. Get ready to transfer all your discs to cuneiform tablets
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Jacko stealing musical ideas, virginity from two-year-olds
source: guardian.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
"Mouse that burned down house" story passes from fact to urban legend to story about two men realizing that if they say the story is true again, they can get more media coverage and thus more money
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Herald)
 
 
 
School officials should have suspected that when a teacher gave his students free cars, that's not all he was giving them
source: dailynewstribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsday)
 
 
 
Ugly help-line calls from America are grist for a new sitcom in India, "The Call Center"
source: nynewsday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Congratulations to Brad Pitt on knocking up Angelina Jolie
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Disgruntled employee reveals Stanford took football recruits to strip clubs. Is this revelation supposed to *hurt* recruiting?
source: sports.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NewsWatch50)
 
 
 
Lindsay Lohan "appalled" that people now know she is a drug-addicted bulimic skank
source: newswatch50.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Impact Lab)
 
 
 
Levi now making iPod-ready jeans and iBoxer making iPod-ready underwear. In other news, people like to have an iPod in their underwear
source: impactlab.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ClickPress)
 
 
 
Average penis sizes broken down by nationality and it turns out the French are the biggest dicks in the world
source: clickpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(wcax.com)
 
 
 
Telling the police your name is "Harley Davidson" probably indicates your night will be going downhill from there
source: wcax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sify)
 
 
 
Researcher says seven percent of Americans drink on the job, nine percent nurse hangovers while working
source: sify.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
In a stunning turn of events, former D.C. mayor Marion Barry tests positive for cocaine
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsday)
 
 
 
Woman stabs boyfriend with scissors because he wouldn't stop playing Elvis Presley's "Burning Love." Police aren't saying that was right, but they understand
source: newsday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Restauranteurs blame loss of business on TV station's story about them using rat in their meatballs
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(JSOnline)
 
 
 
Another stunning victory for anecdotal evidence as article claims that, because of iPods and cell phones, people are no longer wearing wrist watches
source: jsonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
Big Bird's caretaker arrested for the rape and murder of jogger. This link brought to you by the letters P, M, I, T, A and P again
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this big red cellular phone
source: personal.psu.edu   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Iwon)
 
 
 
Doctors remove Sharon from all sedatives, begin transferring them to Ozzy
source: apnews1.iwon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Rich, stylish, nationally famous sports star gets seven shades of snot beaten out of him by commoner for trying to chat up Page 3 girl. The Sun is there (NSFW pic)
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
JoePa wins coach of the year honors, tells N.O.W. to iron his shirt
source: sports.espn.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Whole Foods switches to 100-percent wind power for its stores
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Newspaper)
 
 
 
In Britain, making a defiant gesture toward an inanimate object is now a crime
source: thenewspaper.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(mises.org)
 
 
 
Tired of trickle showers? Hack your showerhead
source: mises.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Veterans of Foreign Wars chapter in USA's "most patriotic city" wants children's American flag painting removed from cul-de-sac because the flag doesn't belong on the ground
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Globe and Mail)
 
 
 
Economists confident that oil prices will rise, fall or stay the same, depending on supply, demand, Iran, Russia and whether or not a butterfly flaps its wings somewhere
source: theglobeandmail.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC11TV.com)
 
 
 
Raleigh, NC is worried about sticky white substance in local waters; hopes their investigation has happy ending
source: abclocal.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Rider)
 
 
 
Photoshop this shiny self-portrait
source: rapidcityjournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(1010WINS)
 
 
 
Man recites the first 4,400 digits of pi from memory. Coincidentally, that's the number of girls that have rejected him
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Glasgow Herald)
 
 
 
Chinese claim to have invented golf 500 years before Scots. Academic says ancestors were whacking their balls with their pubangs in the 10th century
source: theherald.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
Authorities fear hot girl-girl kissing action could distract from riveting two-day cricket match
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mass High Tech)
 
 
 
Start-up company plans to sap electricity from trees. Don't hug that tree, it may be live
source: masshightech.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Britain's new rule outlawing sexy alcohol ads claims first victim: Furries
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(International Education)
 
 
 
Thanks to a new computer system, Maine hasn't held a traffic-court session in 10 months. To clear the backlog, judges will have only two minutes per driver to say "guilty"
source: bangornews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(London Times)
 
 
 
It runs in the family: Captain Stephen Bligh is cut adrift by British Coast Guard following vote of no confidence by his crew. No word on the fate of the breadfruit trees
source: timesonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Contact Music)
 
 
 
Hollywood not just out of ideas, it flat-out hates us: Affleck and Damon to remake "Butch Cassidy & Sundance Kid"
source: contactmusic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Tue January 10, 2006
(London Times)
 
 
 
You're more likely to suffer accidental injury within the first three minutes of getting up in the morning than if you're drunk
source: timesonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(University of Alberta)
 
 
 
Topless girls running down hallways, handjobs in the Central Academic Building and a guy walking around with his IV apparatus, smoking pot. Welcome to U of Alberta
source: gateway.ualberta.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(1010WINS)
 
 
 
If you disguise yourself as a Smurf and rob the hotel you're staying at, remember to wash all the blue paint off before walking past the police
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
Engineer hopes to cut down on illegal logging with electronic "nose" used to track timber odor
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SI.com)
 
 
 
Billionaire donates $165 million to the Oklahoma State athletic program, making it the largest donation ever for sports. Duke sucks
source: sportsillustrated.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Today's "government department phone line turns out to be sex line instead" brought to you by Tennessee
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Pranksters broadcast sex phone call over train intercom. Ivan the Engine Driver not amused
source: thecouriermail.news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kansas City)
 
 
 
Steven A. Smith's ESPN show is being bumped to late, late, night. Apparently, when it was promoted as being "bigger than ESPN," they assumed it would get better ratings than women's billiards
source: blogs.kansascity.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Local6)
 
 
 
School principal's fake resume exposed after failing boardmember's secret fraternity handshake test. Double-secret resignation ensues
source: local6.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Mine survivor shows brain activity, dealing a crushing blow to any potential political career
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop what a He-Man movie would be like
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WJZ)
 
 
 
"I had wonderful visions" says Albert Hoffmann, the inventer of LSD, who turns 100-years-old today
source: wjz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NO City Business)
 
 
 
Having solved all of New Orleans' problems, the city council passes a resolution naming its choice for head coach of the Saints
source: neworleanscitybusiness.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lowell Sun)
 
 
 
Auditor says man must be retarded if he thinks the state is going to pay for his special education school's Red Sox tickets
source: lowellsun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Today is National Voodoo Day
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Local6)
 
 
 
Thanks to a technicality, it's still legal to use a Taser on children in Florida
source: local6.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WGAL)
 
 
 
Dear Ms. Davis, allow me to apologize for all of our officers who arrested you at your workplace, handcuffed you, strip-searched you then detained you before finding out they had the wrong person. Believe me, it will never happen again
source: wgal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Steve Jobs to Motorola: Suck it
source: money.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Generation Y is a bunch of broke, whiny complainers
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Bush urged Iraqis on Tuesday to put aside political and religious differences to form a government of national unity
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Ohio.com)
 
 
 
Ohio residents beat the winter blues by spending January happily beating each other senseless with snow shovels
source: centralohio.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KHOU)
 
 
 
Lawyer defends $115,000 payment from Jack Abramoff to Tom DeLay's wife as completely reasonable for whatever the hell it is she did for him
source: khou.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MySanAntonio)
 
 
 
There are things that will always get you into trouble with your girlfriend. Forgetting her birthday, for instance, or checking out another woman. Or maybe taking naked pictures of her mom
source: mysanantonio.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BocaNews.com)
 
 
 
Olympic-style event for seniors starts today in Delray. Events include the ATM PIN memory challenge and the farmer's market obstacle course, extra style points awarded for leaving turn signal on
source: bocanews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Yesterday, Sharon moves right hand. Today, Sharon moves left hand. Tomorrow, Sharon shakes it all about. That's how you do the hokey-pokey
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Firemen celebrate end of fire-awareness campaign by having a party that almost burns down their station
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Lion attacks on the rise in Tanzania. To make lions more docile, officials hire Matt Millen
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Journal Times)
 
 
 
Residents -- upset at large number of soiled adult diapers on road outside their homes -- begin putting up signs such as "Want me to come take a dump in your yard?" and "Take your s**t home with you"
source: journaltimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFMY)
 
 
 
On this date in 1861, Florida seceded from the union. Nobody wants to take credit for letting them back in
source: wfmy.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lexington Herald Leader)
 
 
 
Kentucky now looks to embrace the Flying Spaghetti Monster. Shiver me timbers
source: kentucky.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Santa Cruz Sentinel)
 
 
 
If you're collecting workers' comp for a back injury, it may raise suspicions when you run a marathon
source: santacruzsentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Most Italians feel more guilt when over-eating than when cheating on partner. No word on simultaneous effects
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
A box of biscuits, a batch of mixed biscuits. Photoshop tongue twisters
source: factmonster.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsday)
 
 
 
Bank execs deny they hired women from a strip club as eye candy for their office
source: nynewsday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Sun-Times)
 
 
 
Man orders, takes prescription drugs over Internet; wakes up two weeks later in hospital with brain damage. No word on how much larger his penis is
source: suntimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mercury News)
 
 
 
NFL player diagnosed with Hodgkin's disease adopts slogan "Keep Pounding" to raise money for cancer research. Apparently, slogan also refers to beers
source: mercurynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Governator went motorcycling without a license, says he's above the law too
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Scotsman)
 
 
 
Naked Rambler, charged for trying to walk around Britain nude and then jailed for refusing to wear clothes to court, proves he's seen the error of his ways by walking out of prison bare-ass naked
source: news.scotsman.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
Congressman who placed a $100 bet at casino of man he had just helped politically coincidentally wins enough to pay off $30,000 in credit card debt
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Drunk man shot after he mistakenly enters the wrong apartment
source: apnews.myway.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
Redskins safety Sean Taylor has $17,000 spit
source: sports.espn.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Blogcritics)
 
 
 
World explodes, fire rains down from heavens as exposed female nipple is shown on episode of WWE
source: blogcritics.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP)
 
 
 
"Mouse burning down house" story passes from fact to urban legend
source: wsbtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News24)
 
 
 
Iraq war will cost U.S. $2 trillion, or the equivalent of 200 billion copies of "My Pet Goat"
source: news24.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
A day in the life of a modern Indonesian might involve an animal sacrifice at an ATM
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Texas Ranger)
 
 
 
Chuck Norris posts on his website that he knows about "The 30 Facts," which means whoever wrote them is probably already dead
source: chucknorris.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Squirrel-rat breeding experiment produces "squirrat," finally puts to rest the myth that squirrels are just rats with fluffy tails (pic)
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Brandenton Herald)
 
 
 
Mall cop admits to police that his story about a fleeing suspect was just a coverup so that he didn't have to admit he accidentally shot himself while playing with his gun
source: bradenton.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(IrieRadio.com)
 
 
 
Drew will talk Fark on Ocean 98's Rude Awakening Show this morning at 9:45 a.m. EST. Phone lines are open, call 1.877.723.9626 to talk to Drew
source: irieradio.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Goat)
 
 
 
Tallahassee Fark Party at Finnegans Wake on January 14th
source: leeds.ac.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Google)
 
 
 
Photoshop a pun or double entendre
source: google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(P