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Sun January 30, 2005
Source     Fark Headline Comments
(Contact Music)
 
 
 
Sleeping airline passenger surprised to wake up to a naked Lara Flynn Boyle
source: contactmusic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(179)
 
(The Cheers)
 
 
 
Putin is bringing modern-day Russia back to coldwar-esque Soviet Union
source: thecheers.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(125)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Tortilla chips may soon be used to lower your cholesterol. Here comes the science
source: apnews.myway.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(33)
 
(Fortune)
 
Plug
 
The best companies to work for in North America. Finally a business list that doesn't mention Wal-Mart. (Featured Partner)
 
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Woman, busted running a $3M-per-year prostitution ring claims, she did it to save stray animals
source: story.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(95)
 
(Some Gearhead)
 
 
 
Gold Oldsmobile sells for $3.24 million at Barrett-Jackson auction. New owner seen promptly checking clearance of 24" Dayton wires
source: barrett-jackson.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(139)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Iraqi elections are approaching. Photoshop a campaign sign/slogan for one of the candidates
source: kansascity.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(81)
 
(Canoe)
 
 
 
John Steinbeck was right: Giant pearls are nothing but a pain in the ass
source: cnews.canoe.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(62)
 
(Sky.com)
 
 
 
Woman has not washed her hair for 11 years. In other news, oil prices drop
source: sky.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(220)
 
(Fark)
 
Plug
 
Infinite monkeys: Shakespeare. Ten monkeys and a couple hours: TFD
 
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Scientists blame North American obesity on last Ice Age
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(75)
 
(MaineToday.com)
 
 
 
High ranking Crip arrested in Maine. Mainers ask why anyone would arrest a person for being handicapped
source: kennebecjournal.mainetoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(119)
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
New York Times: "Here's a picture of a fat Brazilian." Woman in photo: "How dare you? I am not Brazilian"
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(98)
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Iraq elections "a resounding success." You submitted this with a red-and-blue state headline
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(1432)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
The Bible coffin is one of his more conventional designs. The snail in the background has been ordered by a snail seller
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(42)
 
(News Journal)
 
 
 
High school-meat judges enjoy third-place finish at meat-judging competition. In other news, there are high school-meat judges
source: mansfieldnewsjournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(67)
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
Sick of single bars? Try a matchmaking New York cabbie. Your dog wants a hairless terrier
source: seattlepi.nwsource.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(35)
 
(Local6)
 
 
 
Bunny Severe caught passing fake lettuce in Florida. Will get chance to toss salad and make new friends real soon
source: local6.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(44)
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Yuppies are old n' busted. Disco woman is the new hotness. Disco Stu still doesn't advertise
source: observer.guardian.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(54)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
When there's a jet engine laying around, one might as well put it on a wheelchair
source: newsvote.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(53)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Deadly red ants invade Hong Kong. Godzilla, Gamera, Mothra issues collective statement saying "Competition makes us all stronger"
source: edition.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(80)
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Here endeth reality TV: German sperm race to fertilize an egg, winning donor gets a new Porsche
source: observer.guardian.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(63)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Researchers crack car-key code. Use technology to steal own car, make unauthorized purchases on own credit card
source: story.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(52)
 
(Heamer)
 
 
 
Photoshop this TFer's friend getting a lap dance
source: myspace.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(112)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Cell phones that moan instead of ring, the next big thing at movie theatres
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(69)
 
(ZWire)
 
 
 
Selling coupon books for out-of-business pizzeria proves a surprisingly easy task
source: zwire.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(28)
 
(Trdizzake)
 
 
 
Buy an MGM DVD between 1998 and 2003? Go to this website to see if you can score a free DVD from a class action lawsuit against them
source: mgmdvdsettlement.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(174)
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
Morning swimmers notice crocodile sharing the pool with them
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(30)
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Vancouver cop wins RCMP settlement after highway drug search by Texas state troopers who misunderstood the map of United States of Canada
source: vancouver.cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(213)
 
(SouthBend Tribune)
 
 
 
Teen huffs can of compressed air, drives across four lanes of traffic, knocks parked car through Nextel store, stumbles from car and says, "We're here"
source: southbendtribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(88)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Marine uses up all nine of his lives. Suffers from best/worst luck on the face of the planet
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(310)
 
(New Scientist)
 
 
 
Swedish scientists develop Droidekas, sans the twin blaster modification common on Trade Federation starships (with video)
source: newscientist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(41)
 
(some girl)
 
 
 
Photoshop this covered bridge
source: img.photobucket.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(136)
 
(GQ Magazine)
 
 
 
Dear Grammys: No one cares anymore because you only pick lame artists. Sincerely, the world
source: men.style.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(290)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
NASA admits pulling a "Scotty" with Mars rovers
source: smthop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(113)
 
(Lipsmackin)
 
 
 
If you're going to ask to get your labia pierced, make sure you know where your labia is... especially if you're a 12-year-old boy
source: web.archive.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(132)
 


Sat January 29, 2005
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this man and his eggs
source: joelmabus.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(144)
 
(nbc17.com)
 
 
 
Class teaches hillbilly kids how to lose their accent
source: nbc17.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(306)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
List your favorite Super Bowl snacks. Link goes to various recipes
source: busycooks.about.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(142)
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
White House purchases new fleet of 23 presidential helicopters for $6.1 billion, vows to reign in wasteful spending
source: yahoo.usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(340)
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Is DeNiro ruining his legacy?
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(254)
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
U.S. Mint advises people that the state quarters make a terrible investment
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(153)
 
(Newsday)
 
 
 
The Mardi Gras coconut giveaway back on schedule after rising insurance premiums threatened the decades-old tradition
source: newsday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(31)
 
(sky-flash)
 
 
 
Everything you ever wanted to know about sonic booms... but were afraid to ask (link fixed)
source: 64.233.167.104   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(61)
 
(Some Jedi)
 
 
 
AudioEdit the surprise twist ending of Star Wars Episode 3
source: google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(25)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
A McDonald's restaurant is outsaucing
source: kirotv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(370)
 
(Newsday)
 
 
 
Delta has officially become the Greyhound of the skies
source: newsday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(97)
 
(The Tennessean)
 
 
 
Welcome to Tennessee. Learn English, or we'll take your kid
source: tennessean.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(727)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Police get report of driver in a dark-colored Monte Carlo with a gun. Police pull over three different dark colored Monte Carlos. All have a driver with a gun
source: channelcincinnati.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(75)
 
(eBay)
 
 
 
Man attempts to cash in on the "lets give bloggers lots of money" craze by whoring his blog commenting skills out on Ebay
source: cgi.ebay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(50)
 
(Google)
 
 
 
In anticipation of Google's upcoming Video/TV searching program, photoshop other sectors Google could intrude into
source: images.google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(171)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Dallas Fark Party tonight (corrected date) -- Bar of Soap @ 9:00 pm
source: tripadvisor.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(105)
 
(Sify)
 
 
 
Unusual events "unheard of in the history of seismology" follow tsunami
source: sify.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(110)
 
(RedOrbit)
 
 
 
NASA creams itself over record-breaking balloon flight
source: rednova.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(51)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
In a case of mistaken identity, the jumping mouse loses federal protection. Only their mothers can tell them apart
source: story.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(49)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Shoppers surprised to see pony wandering down the aisles of a supermarket, browsing the shelves
source: story.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(34)
 
(CS Independent)
 
 
 
"Well, OK, but next time we take a road trip, you drive and I'll do the stabbing"
source: csindy.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(41)
 
(stardem.com)
 
 
 
Man screams obscenities, rams car in front of him for taking too long at McDonald's drive-thru
source: stardem.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(114)
 
(Wired)
 
 
 
Photoshop this stun-gun infographic
source: a1112.g.akamai.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(103)
 
(Some Guy)
 
Boobies
 
Heather Graham's birthday suit from "Boogie Nights" (not safe for work)
source: freecelebrities.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(155)
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
Woman, 79, hangs on as drawbridge goes up. Refuses to miss Friday early bird specials
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(26)
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Baby fined $80 for littering after tossing empty can out of his stroller. The Sun is there
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(72)
 
(prweb.com)
 
 
 
Seventeenth-century coin portrays unmistakable UFO
source: prweb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(454)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Mechanic runs errand with customer's SUV, returns to the shop with pickup truck
source: apnews.myway.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(50)
 
(Newsday)
 
 
 
Convicted killer waives appeals and asks to be executed. Judge threatens to yank license from killer's lawyer
source: newsday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(63)
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
Man phones in bomb threat for Super Bowl; leaves voice mail with real name and telephone number
source: sports.espn.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(56)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Side benefit of lagging record sales is more musicians are now available for sucky live performances
source: story.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(63)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
British save 199,000 hours of police time by not arresting cannabis users
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(186)
 


Fri January 28, 2005
(AZCentral)
 
 
 
Deep-sea fishermen catch woman's lost purse, mail back its contents
source: azcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(37)
 
(Google)
 
 
 
Photoshop some Fark currency
source: images.google.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(104)
 
(SLP)
 
 
 
Man trapped in avalanche with trunk full of beer does the only logical thing -- starts drinking and pees his way out
source: soundslikeprogress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(179)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Food critic from the "Michelin Food Guide" gives restaurant a highly coveted "Bib Gourmand" rating. Unfortunately, the restaurant hasn't opened yet
source: apnews.myway.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(47)
 
(Rapid City Journal)
 
 
 
Dog hits it off with goat, brings goat home. Hilarity ensues
source: registerguard.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(42)
 
(Space.com)
 
 
 
Monkeys pay to see female monkey bottoms... Scores to announce new Congo club
source: livescience.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(67)
 
(Bismarck Tribune)
 
 
 
Man has his car stolen three times in six days
source: bismarcktribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(53)
 
(Revolution Magazine)
 
 
 
Ringtone advertisement -- featuring frog waving penis around -- viewed negatively
source: revolutionmagazine.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(139)
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Former soccer star to take up boxing. His strategy: To lie on the ground crying like a girl until the ref gives his opponent a yellow card
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(95)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Diver sues boat company for leaving him adrift in ocean for several hours without hot costar willing to do full frontal nudity
source: story.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(71)
 
(Kerala)
 
 
 
Tawdry titillator and Teutonic toot-box tickler taunt tendon-tearing tigers, tout tort, take tremendous teller tote (Admins: this one contains details that clarify the headline)
source: keralanext.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(64)
 
(Swiss Info)
 
 
 
The Shroud of Turin may really sport the Holy Skidmarks of the Lord
source: swissinfo.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(207)
 
(NZHerald)
 
 
 
Taz, we hardly knew ye: Violent sex is killing the Tasmanian devil
source: nzherald.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(58)
 
(TASS)
 
 
 
Russian -- found with 100 pounds of depleted uranium in his car -- tells agents he used it for weight training. Or pounding nails. Yeah, that's the ticket, pounding nails
source: itar-tass.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(94)
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
New letters, written by Dr. Josef Mengele, describe his life as a Nazi fugitive on the lam, with episodes such as complaining about the lazy Brazilian housekeeper
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(107)
 
(TownHall)
 
 
 
Topless sunbathing in California? Yes, please
source: townhall.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(215)
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
When is a tax increase not a tax increase? When it's a doubling of the security "fee" surcharge on airline tickets
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(73)
 
(ZWire)
 
 
 
Winning the war on drugs: Student takes Aleve for menstrual pain, gets sent home. Finally, a zero-tolerance policy that makes some sense
source: zwire.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(175)
 
(Some EverCracker)
 
 
 
Fark makes its way into a legal disclaimer, world domination not far behind (second paragraph)
source: eq2players.station.sony.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(119)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Discovering that George Washington's teeth were not actually made of wood, archaeologists seek alternative explanations for the splinters in Martha's crotch
source: story.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(58)
 
(RedOrbit)
 
 
 
U.S. leads world in rate of STDs. We're No. 1, we're No. 1
source: rednova.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(217)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Blaster worm author gets 18 months. His first girlfriend experience will not be working out as planned
source: kirotv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(142)
 
(Some smoker)
 
 
 
Theme: New advertisements for tobacco companies. Link goes to anti-smoking ads for inspiration
source: tobaccofreekids.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(139)
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
If a company erects a telephone pole on your property without permission, don't build your house around it, then complain afterwards
source: today.reuters.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(44)
 
(Wired)
 
 
 
"Lord of the Rings" filmmakers partied after winning 11 Oscars, but chose a fan club to party in. Shows how effective a Tolkien ring network can be
source: wired.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(114)
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
From the "who cares" file, NHL and NHLPA nowhere near completing new CBA
source: sports.espn.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(204)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
"The vice president looked like an awkward child amid the well-dressed adults," writes fashion-covering reporter at commemoration of liberation of Nazi death camps
source: story.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(499)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
New Orleans Fark Party Update: Fat Harry's on St. Charles, 5:00 p.m. on Saturday (one hour before Sparta)
source: mardigras.neworleans.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(77)
 
(AZCentral)
 
 
 
Phoenix residents hoard toilet paper after DJ prank. Police consider Cornholio an investigative lead
source: azcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(89)
 
(Denver Channel)
 
 
 
Man fails to see irony of the work involved in robbing three banks in one day
source: thedenverchannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(88)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Sacre bleu, ne mangez pas cette chevre, Pierre. Mad cow disease discovered in French goat
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(99)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Russia to give mailmen guns. Your dog wants a bulletproof vest
source: story.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(79)
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
Man, struck by car, being held responsible for damages to the vehicle by owner because he didn't look both ways before crossing the street
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(281)
 
(Denver Channel)
 
 
 
Internet hoax does what $4.00 cups of coffee couldn't do -- gets people to stop going to Starbucks
source: thedenverchannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(324)
 
(IHT)
 
 
 
Fidgeting and restlessness are good for you. Your first-grade teacher surrenders
source: iht.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(76)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Buffett made $776 million today; plans to buy butt-load of margaritas and cheeseburgers
source: money.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(133)
 
(Click On Detroit)
 
 
 
No one in Detroit can figure out what smells so bad. Looking to Gary for some answers
source: clickondetroit.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(87)
 
(Kingston Whig-Standard)
 
 
 
Man plans own wake and death -- by helium. Says he intends to crack up St. Peter with silly high voice
source: thewhig.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(63)
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Typo leaves gas pumps charging only 18 cents per gallon, with no attendant on duty. Hilarity ensues
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(111)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Navy releases fake pictures from coverup of fake sub grounding that was actually explosion that caused tsunami
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(323)
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Naked jogger sentenced to a year in jail; reportedly intends to find alternative means of exercise while incarcerated
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(46)
 
(IOL.co.za)
 
 
 
Thieves steal money bag from bank manager, unaware of true contents
source: iol.co.za   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(53)
 
(some girl)
 
 
 
Photoshop this really focused guy
source: ambientimmersion.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(145)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Despite lack of functioning Tilt-a-Whirl, U.S. food company warehouse is an "amusement park for rats"
source: story.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(88)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Some snowfall stays spookily, still spelling stone slogan, summoning spectral "Serve Spain"
source: story.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(80)
 
(Mirror Online)
 
 
 
Tony Blair gets through mind-numbing meetings by doodling. Sometimes he forgets to take his doodles with him (with pic and psychiatric analysis)
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(87)
 
(Some RIer)
 
 
 
Town in Rhode Island cancels spelling bee because it "violates No Child Left Behind"
source: zwire.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(516)
 
(IOL.co.za)
 
 
 
Man starts matchmaking business. Hundreds of men paid to date their perfect match... the business owner's wife
source: iol.co.za   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(42)
 
(FunReports)
 
 
 
Ice restaurant, with ice benches and ice tables, serves ice-cold vodka (with pic)
source: funreports.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(40)
 
(Some Cats)
 
 
 
Behold the Infinite Cat Project
source: infinitecat.com%23index   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(97)
 
(Minneapolis Star Tribune)
 
 
 
Rule No. 1 for a successful robbery career: Do not return to crime scene for your forgotten gun. Idiocy ensues
source: startribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(29)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Stations that dropped Howard Stern find their ratings plummeting
source: money.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(181)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Student suing over summer assignments stuck with court costs. It's a life's lesson -- there'll be more
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(118)
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
ESPN presents The Sports Guy's most amusing quotes of 2004
source: sports.espn.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(82)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
After 20+ years of encouraging rednecks to smoke Winston cigarettes, NASCAR makes two left turns and signs Nicorette to sponsorship deal
source: story.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(60)
 
(WCVB)
 
 
 
Grandmother, 85, shovels out entire neighborhood after major snowstorm. Also walked to school barefoot and uphill in a blizzard as a kid
source: thebostonchannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(51)
 
(KOBTV)
 
 
 
New Mexico to pass "right to eat enchiladas" bill
source: kobtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(96)
 
(Flickr)
 
 
 
Photoshop this woman and her snow shovel
source: flickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(107)
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
Police combing through evidence after series of hair salon burglaries, hoping to end crime wave, permanently
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(41)
 
(OregonLive.com)
 
 
 
Nazi party adopts a highway. Residents angered that the group will only pick up white trash
source: oregonlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(148)
 
(The Cannabist)
 
 
 
Asteroid named for Douglas Adams. Tragically, the Vogons demolished it seconds later to make way for a new hyperspace bypass
source: scifi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(132)
 
(Telegraphindia.com)
 
 
 
A Fox News spokesperson responded, "Ted is understandably bitter having lost his ratings, his network and now his mind -- we wish him well"
source: telegraphindia.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(276)
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
School principal uses jedi milk jug trick to slow down speeders
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(77)
 
(NewsBlab.com)
 
 
 
Clear Channel may fire DJs for sending a person dressed as Spongebob Squarepants to protest at James Dobson's Focus on the Family
source: newsblab.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(288)
 


Thu January 27, 2005
(Slate)
 
 
 
How to beat a lie-detector test, complete with Shaolin anus-puckering technique
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(84)
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Flight of a fly caught on x-ray (pic)
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(79)
 
(Sci-Tech Today)
 
 
 
Space Station crew finds unexplained spot on skin of station. Nasa says, "It's not a tumor"
source: sci-tech-today.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(56)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Climax drive-thru strip club for sale, payment expected in dollar bills
source: story.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(46)
 
(Drudge)
 
 
 
Man, it's hard work being a strip club DJ
source: dallasobserver.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(105)
 
(Heinz)
 
 
 
Dismayed at a lost marketing opportunity on November 2, Heinz introduces celebrity ketchup bottles. Your dog wants Lindsay Lohan
source: askhj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(96)
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Man, scampering around on all fours imitating Gollum, touches 750-volt third rail. Darwin doesn't care for Gollum imitators
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(146)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Scientists finally uncover how Venus Flytrap operates. Still unable to convince Les and Mr. Carlson that turkeys can't fly
source: story.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(94)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Gas station accidentally sets price at 18 cents per gallon prompting a rush on fuel & threats of violence
source: apnews.myway.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(76)
 
(The Cannabist)
 
 
 
"The Rock" to play a human in his next movie role. Says he wasn't born for this role, but he'll give it a try
source: scifi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(67)
 
(Some Gal)
 
 
 
Coed gets cheated on, then decides to cheat herself; writes a column about it
source: theeagleonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(135)
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
USA Today publishes 60-column-inch treatise on the MILF phenomena, entitled "Mommy Hottest" (with SFW photo gallery)
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(133)
 
(Big Brain Boy)
 
 
 
CNN experts agree: Al Qaeda leader (Bin Laden) is dead or alive. With screen cap
source: bigbrainboy.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(108)
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
"You just won the Super Bowl. What are you gonna do next?" "No idea"
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(47)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
So, what is Dude really buying from Dudette?
source: us.news1.yimg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(106)
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
K-Mart hoping return of the Blue Light Special will reverse its business fortunes -- kind of like how turning on the lights in the bathrooms prevented the Titanic from sinking
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(43)
 
(KUTV)
 
 
 
Legislator tries to get police department that arrested his son abolished
source: kutv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(48)
 
(BostonHerald.com)
 
 
 
Former Red Sox reliever Rich "El Guapo" Garces feared kidnapped in Venezuela. For non-Spanish speaking Farkers, "El Guapo" means "The Guapo"
source: redsox.bostonherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(104)
 
(Evening Times)
 
 
 
Glasgow says no traffic cones are allowed on statues
source: eveningtimes.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(26)
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Italy says it will return Ethiopian obelisk in April. Will also include violent, tool-using apes and self-aware computer
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(62)
 
(Duluth Superior)
 
 
 
Woah, dude. Bong Bridge closed after 19-car pile up caused by mysterious "fog." Cheech and Chong seen fleeing the scene in speedboat
source: duluthsuperior.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(49)
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
So, a woman walks into a police station with a live grenande...
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(42)
 
(IdahoStatesman.com)
 
 
 
Ernest Hemmingway bought the house near Key West's lighthouse so he could find his way home when drunk
source: idahostatesman.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(47)
 
(Canoe)
 
 
 
It's still legal to masturbate in your livingroom in Canada
source: cnews.canoe.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(125)
 
(New Scientist)
 
 
 
Violent past of Milky Way's black hole revealed -- primordial Taco Bell implicated
source: newscientist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(58)
 
(Cincinatti.com)
 
 
 
Any prank call that ends when a SWAT team accidentally storms a house has to have a dumbass involved
source: news.enquirer.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(51)
 
(Argus Leader)
 
 
 
Moron bitten after sticking hand into tiger cage. Tiger may face death
source: argusleader.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(136)
 
(Chron)
 
 
 
Students find $100,000 stash, share it among themselves and parents. Drug dealer who owned stash wants it back and is paying house calls to make his point. Read the story now or wait for the movie
source: chron.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(136)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Oregon college student rents two apartments, one to live in, one to grow 365 marijuana plants
source: registerguard.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(109)
 
(Iwon)
 
 
 
Dick Clark released from hospital. Rumors of new cybernetic implants unconfirmed
source: apnews1.iwon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(50)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
World's most power soccer clubs courting nine-year-old Brazilian player. In other news, the Yankees begin signing every fetus in Cuba
source: sportsillustrated.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(77)
 
(Defamer)
 
 
 
Help porn star Tera Patrick find her lost dog. No guarantee of a gangbang as a reward
source: defamer.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(133)
 
(Novosti)
 
 
 
Russian fighter jets scrambled to intercept... cloud?
source: en.rian.ru   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(64)
 
(Calgary Herald)
 
 
 
You can save cash on your meat purchases by buying it from the guy who has an illegal butcher shop in his garage
source: canada.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(51)
 
(Omaha World Herald)
 
 
 
Manure mountain smolders on. Don't bother to bring your marshmallows
source: omaha.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(50)
 
(Denver Channel)
 
 
 
Denver Nuggets get a Hot Karl in hopes to save them from going down the crapper. Expected to change name to Butt Nuggets. Cooper sent back to the pooper. Klingons sighted orbiting Uranus. Somebody stop this tagline writer before he kills again
source: thedenverchannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(70)
 
(Scotsman)
 
 
 
School promising to improve security after five-year-old boy escapes from playground, takes bus to local supermarket and buys some cake
source: news.scotsman.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(74)
 
(via Drudge)
 
 
 
U.S. soldiers giving lap dances to break Guantanamo detainees
source: timesofindia.indiatimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(982)
 
(BBSpot)
 
 
 
Ebay admits strange auctions are fake and just a corporate marketing technique
source: bbspot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(35)
 
(AZCentral)
 
 
 
Morons freak out when they can't get their lattes after water contamination closes all Starbucks in Phoenix. "I'm desperate. I don't even care about the water, I'll sign a waiver"
source: azcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(230)
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Budweiser won't air Super Bowl ad showing stagehand backstage at last year's game causing Janet Jackson's wardrobe malfunction by attempting to open a beer with her bustier
source: detnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(127)
 
(Weekly World News)
 
 
 
Eighteen nurses pregnant after rest-home Viagra party. Tony Randall surrenders
source: weeklyworldnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(70)
 
(Pravda)
 
 
 
Plague and flu have changed the history of the mankind
source: english.pravda.ru   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(47)
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Israel claims Iran will have nukes in 12 months; threaten pre-emptive strike. Israel still unable to confirm if it has nukes itself
source: guardian.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(610)
 
(Click On Detroit)
 
 
 
Truckers will soon be on the lookout for terrorists, chicks with big hooters
source: clickondetroit.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(39)
 
(NBC Sandiego)
 
 
 
Company that fires employees if they smoke, even at home, now targeting employees who are too fat. Next on the agenda: Targeting employees who fart too much or watch too much porn
source: nbcsandiego.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(316)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
A vocal Serena Williams defeated a vocal Maria Sharapova. Afterwards, I enjoyed a cigarette
source: sportsillustrated.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(145)
 
(Bluefield (WV) Telegraph)
 
 
 
North Carolina goes to court to retrieve original copy of Bill of Rights, taken from Raleigh by Union soldier in 1865
source: bdtonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(164)
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Devout Baptists so shocked by unintentional porn film that they watch it all the way 'til the end
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(120)
 
(Chiff)
 
 
 
Malthus was full of crap: Underpopulation is next big problem
source: techcentralstation.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(276)
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
One man, one goal: To be naked in the Super Bowl
source: sports.espn.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(55)
 
(Chicago Sun-Times)
 
 
 
Based on Los Angeles' smashing success in eliminating traffic problems, City of Chicago to adopt same computer traffic surveillance system
source: suntimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(31)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Photoshop a worker trying to clear the field at the Eagles' stadium
source: us.news2.yimg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(101)
 
(nydailynews.com)
 
 
 
Travel agency email offer for special tsunami fares comes complete with a picture of people running from the waves
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(57)
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Report: North Korea buys nuke off the shelf from Pakistan. With allies like this in the War on Terror, who needs enemies?
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(566)
 
(FemaleFirst)
 
 
 
Emma Bunton (AKA "Baby Spice") still using giant vibrator given to her by another Spice Girl. Sometimes the headlines just write themselves
source: femalefirst.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(138)
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
VideoEdit: Re-enact movie scenes on a low budget. Due date: Feb 4th (Friday)
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(51)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
The Denver Nuggets are about to get a hot Karl. No word yet on UFIA
source: story.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(85)
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
"The driver said, 'Kids we've got porn, do you want to watch it?' Everyone started shouting yes, yes and he just put in a tape and we watched it on the small TV screens on the bus"
source: today.reuters.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(119)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Dutch Magazine includes marijuana seeds in this month's issue. High Times surrenders
source: story.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(95)
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
For the Farkettes: How to fake it (on Super Bowl Sunday)
source: msn.foxsports.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(187)
 
(National Business Review)
 
 
 
Australian judge calls for the Internet to be purged of all material capable of influencing a trial jury
source: nbr.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(89)
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
Unranked Maryland beats undefeated Duke in their own arena. Duke sucks
source: espn.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(165)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Oklahoma senator wants people to put boxing gloves on their cocks
source: edition.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(94)
 
(eBay)
 
 
 
Bid early and often on this conservative DC radio host. Three hours of shilling for your right-wing cause, on sale now. Proceeds to charity
source: cgi.ebay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(115)
 
(St. Petersburg Times)
 
 
 
Tons of drunken robins have invaded Tampa Bay; will show breasts for seeds
source: sptimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(36)
 
(Some Guy with no Grill)
 
 
 
Larry Holmes wants to box George Foreman. Surprisingly, this is not a 30-year-old headline. Or a good idea. For anyone
source: saddoboxing.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(52)
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Stack of beer pallets declared a historic monument. Official: "Maybe we were drunk when we did it"
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(40)
 
(1010WINS)
 
 
 
So a bunch of guys have decided to re-enact Pearl Harbor at a New Jersey airport. What could possibly go wrong?
source: 1010wins.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(60)
 
(Ann Arbor News)
 
 
 
Woman says snow plow driver buried her car on purpose
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(107)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this weird guy and his rock children
source: sleek.hn.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(95)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
If your $139k school salary isn't good enough, smuggle drugs to Texas
source: wjla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(55)
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Ringo Starr: ♫ I'd like to be ♪ Drawn by Stan Lee ♪ As an action superhero on TV ♫
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(175)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Judge uses his own version of "gag" order. Orders officers to duct tape defendant's mouth
source: story.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(58)
 


Wed January 26, 2005
(CBC)
 
 
 
India plans two moon missions. First will map lunar terrain, second will establish call center
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(116)
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Orthodox Jews forbidden to sing in the shower
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(144)
 
(Some Winer and Diner)
 
 
 
Something sorely overlooked in today's Taco Bell society: Dinner etiquette for the five-course meal. Next week: How to use the seashells
source: 64.233.161.104   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(196)
 
(Daily Illini)
 
 
 
Illinois cops, having solved all other crime, resort to busting small-time poker games
source: dailyillini.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(110)
 
(Some Hippy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this hippy playing in the snow
source: superdavid.info   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(138)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
UK's first prostitution tolerance zone to be setup in Liverpool. In other news, Parliment is relocating to Liverpool
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(84)
 
(Some Guy)
 
Boobies
 
Alanis Morisette in a Hooters outfit... (NSFW ads)
source: deansplanet.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(360)
 
(IndyStar)
 
 
 
Alton Brown: Einstein of the kitchen
source: indystar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(267)
 
(Mirror Online)
 
 
 
Grandmother's neighbours become addicted to her cooking. Cops not amused when they find out why
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(116)
 
(NineMSN)
 
 
 
Stockard Channing, arrested on drunk-driving charges, is headed for the West Wing of jail
source: news.ninemsn.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(64)
 
(Iwon)
 
 
 
Man loses millions in Vegas due to gambling addiction. Should he: A) Stop gambling? B) Get help for addiction? or C) Sue the casinos?
source: reuters.iwon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(169)
 
(Salt Lake Tribune)
 
 
 
Phillip Morris to test market new cigarette in Salt Lake City, said to be considering "only bring one Mormon fishing" as slogan
source: sltrib.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(86)
 
(ABC)
 
 
 
NASA finds goo in shuttle. "Surreal Life 2 in Space" featuring Ron Jeremy cancelled
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(63)
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Isle of Man renames itself Isle of Woman. Further renaming to Isle of Hot Women Who Want It Now still pending
source: guardian.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(85)
 
(Monterey Herald)
 
 
 
According to San Francisco officials, the death toll from the 1906 quake has now reached 3000 and is expected to rise further as more data comes in from the affected areas
source: montereyherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(54)
 
(TCPalm)
 
NewsFlash
 
Radiological material leak in downtown West Palm Beach, Florida
source: tcpalm.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(168)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Metallica killer executed
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(194)
 
(STLToday)
 
 
 
St.Louis school board member running for mayor threatens suicide if not elected
source: stltoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(78)
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Man sells rocket launcher on Ebay
source: today.reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(64)
 
(News and Star)
 
 
 
Vomiting, 420-pound drunk trapped in British cab, requires fire brigade for rescue. Fat, drunk and Cumbrian is no way to go through life, son
source: newsandstar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(81)
 
(NY Daily News)
 
 
 
Mayor Bloomberg getting tough on the real criminals: Wants to ban Mr Softee trucks from playing their jingle
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(104)
 
(SacBee)
 
 
 
"Unfortunately, he's got a gun and he thinks people are chasing him. And he's legally blind." What could go wrong?
source: sacbee.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(51)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
God continues smiting of Southeast Asia, smacks Cambodia with 10-pound meteorite, setting off fires that destroy hectares of paddy fields
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(157)
 
(ICNetwork)
 
 
 
Grasping police chief claims his area's 450-percent rise in violent deaths is because of filmmakers like Quentin Tarantino (with pic)
source: icnorthwales.icnetwork.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(126)
 
(Denver Channel)
 
 
 
Two-year-old fires .357 magnum. Unfortunately didn't hit owner
source: thedenverchannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(280)
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
"Deranged, suicidal" man parks his car on train tracks, changes his mind, but fails to remove car from tracks, causing major crash. Hundreds injured, 10 dead, jailarity to ensue
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(307)
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
VideoEdit: Post your VideoEdit of a job interview gone wrong here. Details in thread, link goes to last week's original notice
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(88)
 
(Sign on San Diego)
 
 
 
Southern California beach features wireless access to the internet, rendering all Corona commercials pointless
source: signonsandiego.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(62)
 
(Herald Sun)
 
 
 
Men in Wonder Woman costumes have Spaniards in Melbourne saying, "Why so hairy?"
source: heraldsun.news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(51)
 
(Link Goes to Inspiration)
 
 
 
Turn a food item into a computer accessory. Difficulty: No Apples
source: img78.exs.cx   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(138)
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Having researched everything worthwhile, scientists learn fat mothers have fat kids
source: story.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(72)
 
(Space.com)
 
 
 
NASA sponsors project to research biosuit for space exploration. No word on possible inclusion of crowbar, defense against headcrabs
source: space.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(79)
 
(Flashnews)
 
 
 
Lonely for love? Get yourself a porn buddy
source: flashnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(366)
 
(Pittsburgh Live)
 
 
 
Man, pinned by dump truck, flown to Johnstown hospital. Unclear why anyone would fly a dump truck to a hospital
source: pittsburghlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(57)
 
(NYDailyNews.com)
 
 
 
With lyrics such as "You could hear God laughing / Swim, you bitches, swim," who could possibly be offended?
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(208)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
So Encyclopaedia Britannica was like "we're so smart" and a little kid was like "nuh-uh"
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(132)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Study suggests chimps have a sense of "fair play," still not sure what happens when you throw a flightsuit into the mix
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(62)
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Cowher denies Big Ben played with broken toes. Duke sucks
source: msn.foxsports.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(39)
 
(Aftenposten.no)
 
 
 
Scandinavians will never admit to bringing the rats
source: aftenposten.no   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(22)
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Study finds many alcoholics recover, if by "many" they mean "36 percent" and by "recover" they mean "still drink"
source: reuters.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(77)
 
(Flashnews)
 
 
 
In the Super Bowl, teams with human mascots usually defeat teams with animal mascots
source: flashnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(133)
 
(Local6)
 
 
 
Coroner seeks second opinion after "corpse" claims not to be dead yet
source: local6.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(70)
 
(Billboard)
 
 
 
Sirius CEO Karmazin says XM merger rumors are as fake as Madonna's accent
source: billboardradiomonitor.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(47)
 
(FindLaw)
 
 
 
Big Ben checks Tom Brady's 103 fever, and raises him with broken toes
source: news.findlaw.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(43)
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
If your dream is to be a murdering gangsta rapper who then tries to pawn stolen items, you may want to rethink that big 13 tattooed on your forehead
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(88)
 
(NY Daily News)
 
 
 
NYC subway officials admit they overestimated five-year fire repair job by 4.5 years
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(92)
 
(Daily Sparks Tribune)
 
 
 
Ice storms coming to the Carolinas this weekend. Cue the Benny Hill music
source: charlotte.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(169)
 
(Denver Channel)
 
 
 
Boys arrested, charged with felony for crayon drawings. Apparently colored outside the lines
source: thedenverchannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(208)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Giant pig will predict if Lexington, NC will have more winter or an early spring
source: story.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(58)
 
(Tampa Bay 10)
 
 
 
Man sees Jesus in clipboard. Christ promptly asks him where that TPS report is
source: tampabays10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(104)
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
AudioEdit Governator Arnold giving a speech at a grade school about sex education reform in Caleefornia
source: google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(13)
 
(Cleveland Plain Dealer)
 
 
 
Truck flips, slides off overpass landing on car passing on highway below. Trucker gets a neckbrace. Pregnant woman in smashed car walks away unharmed
source: cleveland.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(85)
 
(NY Daily News)
 
 
 
You know it's going to be a rough mayorial campaign when you get heckled by your own mother
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(48)
 
(KNBC)
 
NewsFlash
 
Commuter train derails in Glendale, CA (pics)
source: nbc4.tv   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(161)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Sirius and XM rumored to be in merger talks
source: money.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(182)
 
(CNN)
 
NewsFlash
 
Thirty-one U.S. marines killed today in chopper crash in west Iraq
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(1267)
 
(Mainichi Daily News)
 
 
 
So a monkey with a knife wanders into a convenience store at 2:15 A.M. No, really
source: mdn.mainichi.co.jp   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(84)
 
(Seattle Times)
 
 
 
College basketball coach apologizes for flipping off student section at game. Duke still sukes
source: seattletimes.nwsource.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(51)
 
(STLToday)
 
 
 
Man wins $2,500 in damages after police kick him in the jimmy just two days after man shot himself in the berries. Then gets arrested while leaving courtroom
source: stltoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(51)
 
(Tiger Weekly)
 
 
 
Man credited with starting the "murderabilia" craze decides it is too weird to continue. "From friends to family, it was just turning off more people than it was turning on"
source: tigerweekly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(40)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this Farker in a porthole
source: img86.exs.cx   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(79)
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
McDonald's back in court for making people fat
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(252)
 
(Independent)
 
 
 
For sale: A stake in vampire bat company
source: news.independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(25)
 
(Herald Sun)
 
 
 
Forty-five mafia members -- who took their orders from messages signed by "Don Corleone" -- are busted
source: heraldsun.news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(22)
 
(Winchester Sun)
 
 
 
Kentucky women have Onionesque discussion of home remedies. Local paper prints it
source: winchestersun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(89)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
How do you describe irony? How about facing 10 years in a pound-me-in-the-ass Hong Kong prison for stealing "good luck" trees?
source: story.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(58)
 
(Richmond Times dispatch)
 
 
 
Virginia lawmaker proposes bill banning lowrider pants. If your underwear is showing, you know where you're going
source: timesdispatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(95)
 
(sj-r.com)
 
 
 
Gravity slowly whittling away at Texas family
source: sj-r.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(82)
 
(Minneapolis Star Tribune)
 
 
 
Senator Kennedy vows to oppose Rice confirmation. Not the first time he's tried to sink a woman
source: startribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(323)
 
(DeansPlanet.Com)
 
Boobies
 
Serena and Venus Williams on the beach (not safe for work)
source: deansplanet.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(392)
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Girl Scout cookies are a leading form of office stress
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(105)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this TFette's brother's big catch
source: home.wi.rr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(129)
 


Tue January 25, 2005
(AP)
 
 
 
Man robs banks with broken beer bottle. Seems he couldn't find a tree branch or a poodle
source: apnews.myway.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(35)
 
(The Boston Channel)
 
 
 
Unwritten policy allows Houston police officers to disrobe. Watch out for the breathalizer test
source: thebostonchannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(71)
 
(Omaha World Herald)
 
 
 
Iowa lawmaker wants to ban spinning hubcaps; risks losing support of critical "ricer" voter demographic
source: omaha.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(223)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Duke students found in frat house with inflatable pool, baby oil and women in bikinis. Duke sucks
source: story.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(118)
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Crowds flock to Cambridge Zoo to view rare ugly-ass twin monkeys. No word on which one is Mary-Kate and which one is Ashley (with pic)
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(46)
 
(9News)
 
 
 
Dumb: Driving with a suspended license. Dumber: Driving a vehicle with expired tags. Dumbass: Claiming you're the 6' 3" Swedish owner of the vehicle when you're black, 6' 7" and speak fluent English
source: 9news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(116)
 
(Local6)
 
 
 
Those wacky radio DJs are at it again, this time with a tsunami parody making jokes about Asians and God
source: local6.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(284)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Original "Survivor" winner Richard Hatch cannot outwit, outlast and outplay the IRS
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(82)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
The only dirty bomb in Boston about to go off is the 2005 Red Sox season
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(103)
 
(Macon.com)
 
 
 
If you're going to discuss your arrest for murder and your trial strategy with your accomplice, try not to do it in the back of the bugged patrol car
source: macon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(140)
 
(FunReports)
 
 
 
Vodka saves man's life as he falls out of a window
source: funreports.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(83)
 
(India Daily)
 
 
 
If the tech support guy in Bangalore sounds a little out of breath when you call, here's why
source: indiadaily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(98)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this TFer's co-worker hanging out
source: home.sc.rr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(162)
 
(BayouBuzz)
 
 
 
Michael Moore gets screwed out of an Oscar. It's easy to rig the People's Choice Awards when MoveOn organizes a campaign
source: bayoubuzz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(862)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
For criticizing pope, editor of the Polish newspaper Nie to pay $6,500, cut down the mightiest tree in the forrest with herring
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(96)
 
(Agenda Inc.)
 
 
 
Volkswagen "outraged" by hoax VW ad depicting a suicide bomber. Also outraged at all the free publicity (with link to ad)
source: news.agendainc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(266)
 
(law.com)
 
 
 
Rappers fight over ownership of "Back That Ass Up"
source: law.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(99)
 
(M90)
 
Boobies
 
Bootiful Beyonce (safe for work)
source: m90.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(412)
 
(Denver Post)
 
 
 
Scientists determine that "smogbuster" chip being sold nationwide is actually just a useless piece of plastic
source: denverpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(238)
 
(GizModo)
 
 
 
The Hello Kitty Ferrari: Just the thing for the young parent with way more money than sense
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(69)
 
(Ben Maller)
 
 
 
Philadelphia Eagles to sign 35-year-old construction worker for Super Bowl
source: benmaller.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(115)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Man sets record for most farts during an ascending elevator ride
source: channel4.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(126)
 
(FunReports)
 
 
 
Parents with hairy buttocks give birth to psychologically unbalanced children
source: funreports.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(87)
 
(MegaStar)
 
 
 
Debbie Gibson takes it off in March Playboy, 15 years too late for anyone to give a crap
source: megastar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(358)
 
(Salt Lake Tribune)
 
 
 
Man, busted in sex sting, says he knew it was a sting all along and only showed up to outsmart the cop by pretending to be a sex predator
source: sltrib.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(89)
 
(Wizbang)
 
 
 
New York Post article tries to titillate readers by having model wear prom dress backwards
source: wizbangblog.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(116)
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Man sells forehead ad space to company for $37,375 (with photo)
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(166)
 
(C|Net)
 
 
 
Google to start searching closed captioning. Searches for "Uuuuh" and "Oh yeah" to skyrocket
source: news.com.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(83)
 
(Iwon)
 
 
 
Razzie awards announced. "Catwoman" tops list
source: reuters.iwon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(251)
 
(oscar.com)
 
NewsFlash
 
Oscar nominees announced
source: oscar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(595)
 
(IndyStar)
 
 
 
Media has just now discovered "drunk shaming," the time-honored practice of drawing on your drunk buddies with a Magic Marker
source: indystar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(115)
 
(Google)
 
 
 
Now that a Mars rover has found a bonafide meteorite, photoshop some other unlikely things the rovers may find
source: images.google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(132)
 
(wltx.com)
 
 
 
Man gets impaled by 2x4 board after car crash, can't be airlifted to hospital because 2x4 wouldn't fit in helicopter
source: wltx.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(93)
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Having solved all other traffic crime, cops use plane and helicopter to nab apple-eating driver
source: reuters.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(92)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
FCC denies 36 indecency complaints against such morally bankrupt shows as "Friends" and "The Simpsons"
source: story.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(259)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Pig and elephant DNA just won't splice, but whale and hippopotamus just might
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(55)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Magnet trike has two hubless wheels. Akiraaaaaaaa!
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(106)
 
(Globe and Mail)
 
 
 
Canadian province yanks drivers licenses of deadbeat parents. Your child support just went for more booze
source: theglobeandmail.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(117)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
"Our penitentiaries are punitive institutions where those who have committed crimes against society are sent to pay for their actions." Rehabilitation surrenders
source: theday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(133)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Company's policy calls for firing employees who smoke... even if they don't smoke at work
source: channelcincinnati.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(609)
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Krispy Kreme to pay new CEO 760 doughnuts per hour
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(66)
 
(AskMen)
 
 
 
AskMen.com's latest list of the 99 most desirable women (with pics)
source: askmen.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(246)
 
(Google)
 
 
 
The morale at your job sucks. Create a mascot to cheer everyone up
source: google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(96)
 


Mon January 24, 2005
(Komo)
 
 
 
Hitting things makes you smarter. Here comes the science
source: komotv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(87)
 
(AZCentral)
 
 
 
Persistent diarrhea may signal disease
source: azcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(75)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Penthouse accountants charged with accounting fraud. Apparently never thought it could happen to them
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(57)
 
(www.geek.com)
 
 
 
Biometric hard drive and flash drive
source: geek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(37)
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Standardized security measures proposed for all driver licenses leads to national ID paranoia. In other news, people from just about every other country hold national IDs without running down street screaming
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(342)
 
(NCBuy)
 
 
 
Only one in six Internet users can tell difference between actual search result and paid link. To solve this, experts recommend cancelling AOL accounts and returning computers to Wal-Mart
source: kevxml2a.infospace.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(242)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Police advise stores to be on the lookout for man trying to buy batteries for his ill-gotten dildos
source: story.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(80)
 
(WFTV)
 
 
 
Man fakes heart attacks to get out of paying for restaurant meals. Jailarity ensues
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(75)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Photoshop Mr. Potato Head in his Darth Vader costume
source: story.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(166)
 
(NY Daily News)
 
 
 
Snoop Dogg wants to coach the Pittsburgh Steelers. Ben Roethlizzleberger unavailabizzle for commizzle
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(138)
 
(Battle Creek Enquirer)
 
 
 
What do you do with an exchange student that's afraid of heights and has never seen snow before? Shove them down an icy hill on a tube, of course
source: battlecreekenquirer.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(92)
 
(Some Guy)
 
Boobies
 
Uma Thurman at the beach (not safe for work)
source: lalovin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(318)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Romanian tabloid reporter fired for hoax story about couple naming their baby "Yahoo." In other news, Romanian tabloids have more integrity than CBS
source: edition.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(155)
 
(The Tennessean)
 
 
 
The world gets crueler as Krispy Kreme's accused of glazing profit statements, leaving holes out of business plans, and leaving the Hot Fresh Now sign on 24/7 with no new doughy goodness
source: tennessean.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(136)
 
(TheIndyChannel)
 
 
 
Schoolchildren across America to observe "No Name-Calling Week," you big doodiehead
source: theindychannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(316)
 
(Forbes)
 
 
 
Texas Instruments crams most of a cell phone on to a single chip
source: forbes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(101)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
British psychologist calculates that today is the most depressing day of the year. Steelers, Falcons fans concur
source: uk.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(223)
 
(WBT.com)
 
 
 
San Francisco may begin charging $0.17 to use paper and plastic shopping bags
source: wbt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(578)
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Monday Night Football's "Towelgate" was originally supposed to star Nicollete Sheridan and... John Madden
source: breakingnews.nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(127)
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
Pope urges media to use power for good. Media points and snickers
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(178)
 
(TV Shows on DVD)
 
 
 
Photoshop this Knight Rider DVD cover art
source: tvshowsondvd.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(107)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Military slowly implementing nanotechnology. "Getting the government to change the way they kill people is difficult," says leading scientist
source: technologyreview.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(133)
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
Man fined $100 and faces 90 days in jail because he shoveled snow
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(160)
 
(Wired)
 
 
 
Meteor impact didn't kill dinosaurs -- they've simply been hiding all this time
source: wired.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(187)
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Outsourcing companies are suddenly getting sensitive to the Indian accent and feel that the Filipino accent is much more favorable to U.S. customers. A pleasant Texas accent would end all this hand wringing
source: in.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(235)
 
(NOLA.com)
 
 
 
Man robs doughnut shop with laser. Dr. Evil unavailable for comment
source: nola.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(59)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Create an ad using sex appeal to promote a product that you normally don't think of as sexy. Difficulty: SFW
source: google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(115)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
It's time for Christian men to throw off that "nice guy" mantle they've been wearing and become warriors and make life a heroic quest
source: story.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(1081)
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Why women can't read maps
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(241)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Ugly-ass baby white lions born near Agen. French circus surrenders (pic)
source: story.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(72)
 

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