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Sun January 23, 2005
Source     Fark Headline Comments
(Gainesville Sun)
 
 
 
"Helicopter parents" are the new trend, spoiling their kids like never before. Now they're so spoiled, they can't do anything for themselves
source: gainesville.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(137)
 
(The Australian)
 
 
 
Three killed, hundreds injured "stoning the devil." Devil uninjured. Bob Dylan unavailable for comment
source: theaustralian.news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(104)
 
(Contactmusic.com)
 
 
 
Life-size chocolate statue of Jennifer Lopez made by Cadbury. Marshmallow surprise in the curvy parts
source: contactmusic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(62)
 
(WTFark)
 
Plug
 
WHILE YOU WERE REAPING: Albuquerque Man Dresses As Grim Reaper, Haunts Cemetery, Quotes The WB's Angel.
 
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Nevada judge rules law prohibiting strippers from fondling customers during lap dances is unconstitutionally vague
source: story.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(52)
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Halo 2 goes to 6.4 million units sold. Bill Gates thanks you
source: reuters.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(266)
 
(Annoying Neighbors)
 
 
 
In honor of this farker's farking neighbors waking him up at 5-farking-30 this morning with their farking loud farking, what is the most farking annoying thing your farking neighbors do?
source: annoyingneighbors.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(526)
 
(The State)
 
 
 
Ugly-ass, rat-like rodents invade Southern U.S. Local residents urged to shoot them for $4.00 a pop, or use them to make a nice chili
source: thestate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(98)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Princeton limits A grades to 35 percent of students. Classes of 10 or fewer students are pretty much screwed
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(217)
 
(Soda Club USA)
 
 
 
Make your own soda
source: sodaclubusa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(151)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
It's a slow news day when you report on a math teacher with a "bling-bling protractor"
source: stjoenews-press.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(53)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Photoshop this tarsier in unlikely places
source: story.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(148)
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
Sunday afternoon football playoffs discussion
source: sports.espn.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(719)
 
(Billings Gazette)
 
 
 
Cloud seeding increases precipitation seven to 10 percent in Wyoming
source: billingsgazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(56)
 
(Some storm chaser)
 
 
 
Fark's favorite storm chaser, year in review. Pics of 2004
source: extremeinstability.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(74)
 
(ABC)
 
 
 
Pennsylvania man opens up a can of Mifune and kills man with samurai sword
source: abclocal.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(101)
 
(MSNBC)
 
NewsFlash
 
MSNBC reporting that Johnny Carson has died
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(747)
 
(Stretch)
 
 
 
Theme: A movie sequel you'd LIKE to see
source: images.google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(277)
 
(Los Angeles Times)
 
 
 
California attorney fights for women's right to go topless
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(133)
 
(ABC)
 
 
 
Elementary students attempt school-bus hijacking; ask for directions to the nearest Pay 'n' Spray
source: abclocal.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(59)
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
Researchers confirm the protective effect of smoking on Parkinson's disease. Unfortunately, this information comes too late for many who can no longer hold the match still to light their cigarettes
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(61)
 
(Shreveport Times)
 
 
 
Shreveport's unsponsored Independence Bowl turns down million-dollar offer from strip-club chain. Kittens dump Gatorade on their coach
source: shreveporttimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(52)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Man gets lost for five weeks in underground cave system. Survives by wrapping himself in plastic, eating wood and clay
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(64)
 
(Space.com)
 
 
 
"MER... and my shaaaaadow." Photoshop the best images from the the Mars Exploration Rovers
source: space.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(95)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Mei Dong thankfully cleared of all charges. Hoos Bin Pharteen and Mei Wang still at large
source: story.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(49)
 
(London Times)
 
 
 
Today's thing that is bad for you that you never previously suspected: School whiteboards
source: timesonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(36)
 
(SacBee)
 
 
 
Four-armed robot doctor debuts at hospital. Now No. 5 is not only alive, but makes sure other people stay that way
source: sacbee.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(51)
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Britain's latest craze has thugs slapping strangers across the face, recording it on a videophone, posting it online
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(155)
 


Sat January 22, 2005
(news.ninemsn.com.au)
 
 
 
Con man, passing himself off as Bruce Willis, forgets the actor is American as he uses the wrong accent, Australian passport
source: news.ninemsn.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(43)
 
(Hasta La Vista, Beardslee)
 
 
 
Governator approves termination of prisoner. Austrian official wants total recall of his citzenship
source: start.earthlink.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(164)
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Book printed in 1892 -- which predicted bullet trains, digital watches and the Ryder Cup -- is sold for $2,240
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(101)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
British toddler unable to feel pain, will never be governor of Arkansas
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(94)
 
(Wired)
 
 
 
Even best CIA sleuths have been unable to decipher code sitting outside cafeteria for 15 years
source: wired.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(121)
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
AudioEdit South Park versus Family Guy. Difficulty: Definitely not safe for work
source: news.google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(36)
 
(CNEWS)
 
 
 
PGA pro plays second round well enough to rank among leaders, but will take the weekend off after forgetting to sign his scorecard
source: cnews.canoe.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(22)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
When math geeks try to be funny
source: amazon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(135)
 
(Henry Herald)
 
 
 
Speed limits are about safety, not revenue, say Georgia counties as they threaten to stop enforcing speed limits if they can't keep speeding fines
source: henryherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(110)
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Husband commits suicide -- hours later, wife wakes from coma
source: reuters.myway.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(93)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this sammich-needing rickshaw puller
source: sakedrops.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(126)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Elementary school forces kindergarden boy to dress as a girl
source: wset.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(124)
 
(News24)
 
 
 
Drunk monk jumps into woman's bed posing as her husband. Found out after she tried to stroke her partner's hair, felt clean-shaven head
source: news24.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(37)
 
(I-Mockery)
 
 
 
Why make photoshops of Domo-Kun when you can *be* Domo-Kun?
source: i-mockery.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(24)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
How's the snow where you are today?
source: dennisflood.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(547)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
DJ breaks record by staying on the air for 110 hours straight as a fund raiser for his college radio station
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(71)
 
(Komo)
 
 
 
School shuts down Halo 2 tournament raising funds for tsunami victims
source: komotv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(189)
 
(C|Net)
 
 
 
Firefox continues to devour Internet Explorer. Cthulhu... err... Bill Gates gets nervous
source: news.com.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(394)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Undefeated Kansas spooked by a snowstorm, have their asses handed to them 83-62 by Villanova. Duke sucks
source: sports.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(92)
 
(NewsMax)
 
 
 
California to consider barcoding its cadavers. Now shoppers will no longer have to wait in line for a price check
source: newsmax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(29)
 
(Discovery)
 
 
 
Ancient Romans lived in suburbs to avoid chariotjacking, inner-city Vandalism, Goths
source: dsc.discovery.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(68)
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
Woman attempts to re-enact role of "Stiffler's Mom." Jailarity ensues
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(140)
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
Man builds a boat from Legos, plans to hunt Moby Brick
source: seattlepi.nwsource.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(64)
 
(Wilmington, Del. News-Journal)
 
 
 
Asking the pizza delivery driver you just robbed for a date probably means you need some schooling in social skills
source: delawareonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(54)
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
British drinkers face "threes strikes and you're barred" rule, replacing the more usual "one strike and a seven-foot-tall skinhead bouncer drags you out outside and kicks the holy living crap out of you"
source: politics.guardian.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(34)
 
(BorderlandNews)
 
 
 
Nineteen prisoners face rioting charges after someone got pissed off at water temperature he was cooking his noodles in
source: borderlandnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(31)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this pipe in a park
source: www2.arnes.si   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(113)
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Stranded cruise ship gives free booze to passengers -- passengers go through 25,529 bottles of wine and beer, 9,800 mixed drinks, and 1,246 fifths of hard liquor
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(70)
 
(eBay)
 
 
 
Fark squirrel woke up in a tub of ice this morning
source: cgi.ebay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(91)
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Lost? Rocks can point the way. Here comes the Boy Scouts
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(35)
 
(LBC 97.3)
 
 
 
Man drives around planting fake bombs, fake hand grenades and fake anthrax powder; soon to find out what real prison is like
source: baynews9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(22)
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
Gay student sent home for wearing "Too gay to function" t-shirt. Other student wears shirt "talking about his gender area"
source: seattlepi.nwsource.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(271)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Satanic Bush confuses Norwegians
source: story.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(126)
 
(Washington Dispatch)
 
 
 
Protest "warriors" get a beatdown when they mistake angry anarchists for wimpy nonviolent hippies
source: washingtondispatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(773)
 
(Deutsche Welle)
 
 
 
German company helping women decide to be easy with thong-dispensing machine
source: dw-world.de   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(52)
 
(Sky.com)
 
 
 
School decides to do away with all homework, claiming it will prompt students to "love learning for it's own sake"
source: sky.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(91)
 
(Some Twinkie Nut)
 
 
 
Twinkie sushi. Yummy
source: twinkies.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(50)
 
(PetsDoc.com)
 
 
 
Photoshop this woman trimming a pig
source: petsdoc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(83)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
How to have sex, D&D style
source: waferbaby.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(146)
 
(Seattle Times)
 
 
 
Eighteen-year Saturn experiment may be mostly recovered
source: seattletimes.nwsource.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(32)
 


Fri January 21, 2005
(AP)
 
 
 
Having solved all other issues, The Wyoming House of Representatives voted 45-12 to establish the part-antelope, part-jackrabbit "animal" as the state's official mythical creature
source: casperstartribune.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(98)
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Goodbye Hubble, we hardly knew ye. White House cuts funding, tells NASA to find a re-entry strategy
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(476)
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Man planned to sue McDonald's after eating sandwich containing staples and paper clip. Legal experts suggest he would have had stronger case had he not put the office supplies in the sandwich himself
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(44)
 
(Contact Music)
 
 
 
Paris Hilton, having starred in a crappy TV show and peddled her naked body for money, experiments with theft at a video retailer in an apparent step-by-step effort to re-create the career of Dana Plato
source: contactmusic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(139)
 
(St. Petersburg Times)
 
 
 
Unable to sell CDs in the West, R.E.M. touring in Serbia-Montenegro. Spinal Tap, puppet show opening acts
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(95)
 
(Chicago Sun-Times)
 
 
 
Faced with paying a traffic fine or escaping, millionaire Chicago Bears player chooses to escape
source: suntimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(53)
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
New York City to become 51st state?
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(342)
 
(Stretch)
 
 
 
Theme: Rejected NASCAR products
source: images.google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(136)
 
(whdh.com)
 
 
 
Boston meterologist goes nuts, writes greatest storm warning online ever. EVER
source: www1.whdh.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(177)
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Steve Irwin (AKA, "The Crocodile Hunter") in talks to open new show in Vegas. Highlights will include Steve attempting to tame his own massive ego
source: entertainment.news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(88)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Flying Saucer Farking Outta Business. Fark Dallas Party Moved to Bar of Soap. Parry and Expo. 8pm till 86
source: dallasobserver.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(55)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Titan covered in "flammable, liquid gas" after making that Taco Bell run last night
source: story.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(80)
 
(KSDK)
 
 
 
Airport security screeners too busy stealing millions from luggage to be bothered preventing terrorism
source: ksdk.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(98)
 
(At the flyin' saucer)
 
 
 
Fark Party Dallas - The flying saucer on January 29
source: theflyingsaucer.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(64)
 
(The Tennessean)
 
 
 
You're a DCS supervisor in Tennessee. You have a report that says a child has swallowed crack cocaine. Do you a) take the kid into custody, b) call the police, c) sit on your thumbs for three days, then commit suicide?
source: tennessean.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(63)
 
(Penisland)
 
 
 
Memo to the marketing department: double check all possible interpretations before buying URLs. From: The management at Pen Island.
source: penisland.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(154)
 
(FunReports)
 
 
 
Ukrainian politician wins a train car of cognac in a bet
source: funreports.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(38)
 
(Tampa Bay Online)
 
 
 
Company shocked to discover employees at their India call center have thick Indian accents
source: tampatrib.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(275)
 
(pcmag.com)
 
 
 
Online columnist discovers ultimate hit-inducing headline: "Free Porn Magic For You"
source: pcmag.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(54)
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Gang members upset that dead brother couldn't attend a party; steal the corpse from funeral; make him guest of honor
source: theaustralian.news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(88)
 
(Scotsman)
 
 
 
Roman gladiatorial games were almost as fake as WWE wrestling
source: news.scotsman.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(171)
 
(Minneapolis Star Tribune)
 
 
 
Thief breaks into minivan, steals gift certificates, Mother Goose costume
source: startribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(22)
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Final notice: Upcoming VideoEdit due on 1/26. Theme: A job interview gone wrong. Details in link and thread
source: romproductions.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(56)
 
(Flashnews)
 
 
 
Backwards Bush declares bombs will make laws
source: flashnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(300)
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
SportsGuy discusses this weekend's NFL games
source: sports.espn.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(338)
 
(Minneapolis Star Tribune)
 
 
 
Australian government sends check payable to "Mrs. Passed Away" to family of deceased woman
source: startribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(48)
 
(Canoe)
 
 
 
Dead hockey fan gets the last word on Bettman and Goodnow
source: canada.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(165)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Burger King to sell "Trump" burger designed by his "apprentices." Chain confirms it will taste like ass
source: money.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(123)
 
(Detroit News)
 
 
 
Thanks to unoriginal parents, the Reno Galena High School girls basketball team used a starting lineup with four Caitlins and one Kaitlin. Volleyball team has six McKenzies (3rd story)
source: detnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(576)
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Oklahoma judge charged with whacking off on bench. TSG is there
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(104)
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Roger Clemens to return for one last "last season." He'll also get paid $18 million
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(72)
 
(10news.com)
 
 
 
Abducted Wal-Mart girl found dead
source: 10news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(538)
 
(Local10)
 
 
 
Family risks death for juicy goodness of grilled hot dogs; misses out on Darwin award thanks to patriarch's uncharacteristic moment of clarity
source: local10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(93)
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Man matches five of six MegaMillions jackpot 10 times on 10 tickets. Wins $1,750,000
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(120)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this screaming metal floor
source: weareacamera.ilovegames.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(147)
 
(Stratfor Global Intelligence)
 
 
 
Boston dirty bomb threat about as likely as Red Sox fans wearing "I ♥ NY" hats
source: worldterrorismreport.stratfor.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(113)
 
(Minneapolis Star Tribune)
 
 
 
Throwing hot coffee at police officer is not proper way to challenge parking ticket
source: startribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(99)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Norwegians confused by Bush's "Hook 'em, horns" salute; thought it was a satanic message
source: story.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(202)
 
(Denver Post)
 
 
 
Bored woman dresses up the gargoyles in front of her home to amuse the 17,000 cars that pass every day (pic)
source: denverpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(89)
 
(UncleMelon.com)
 
Boobies
 
Is Google the greatest porn site in the universe? UncleMelon queries Mom to find out (not safe for work)
source: unclemelon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(117)
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Police arrest "Handshake Man" at Bush inauguration. Still on the lookout for "Bootyshake Woman"
source: today.reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(87)
 
(Tian.cc)
 
 
 
Chinese military train using Counter-Strike
source: tian.cc   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(78)
 
(Wall Street Journal)
 
NewsFlash
 
FCC Chairman Michael Powell to step down. Says now that Fox is pixellating cartoon butts, his mission is complete
source: online.wsj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(172)
 
(Sydney Morning Herald)
 
 
 
Right-wing Christians now targetting SpongeBob SquarePants as "gay"
source: smh.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(1528)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Student sues school for "undue stress" caused by summer homework requirement
source: newsday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(165)
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Lance Armstrong Foundation cracking down on pirated wristbands
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(139)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Professor spent 18 years building an experiment that was put onto the unmanned space mission to Saturn. Someone forgot to turn it on before it blasted off into space
source: apnews.myway.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(88)
 
(AZCentral)
 
 
 
Professor to study why women flash their breasts at hockey games
source: azcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(174)
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
McDonald's Japan cuts prices to round numbers in order to reduce handling of one- and five-yen coins. American penny wanted for questioning
source: cbs.marketwatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(127)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Theme: Unlikely hide-and-go-seek hiding spots
source: weareacamera.ilovegames.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(109)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
83-year-old pastor scuffles with two women he called demons for wearing pants in his church
source: apnews.myway.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(139)
 
(manchesteronline.co.uk)
 
 
 
Scientists can now print a skin graft. Color choices include Martian Green
source: manchesteronline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(60)
 


Thu January 20, 2005
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
France relaxes wine ad restrictions and allows companies to describe smell and taste of products often portrayed as reminiscent of cat's urine or old socks
source: seattlepi.nwsource.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(52)
 
(Denver Channel)
 
 
 
Today's "asshat hauling $880,000 worth of pot pulled over for not using turn signal" story brought to you by Wyoming
source: thedenverchannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(133)
 
(Local6)
 
 
 
Dog pops out record litter of 24 ugly-ass puppies (with pics)
source: local6.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(130)
 
(Canoe)
 
 
 
When breaking into a restaurant with plans to hook up a beer keg to your mouth so you can drink as much as you want, at least come up with some sort of escape plan. Having the cleaning crew find you drunk and asleep is just plain embarrassing
source: cnews.canoe.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(56)
 
(Kerala Next)
 
 
 
Scientists discover subtle differences in thought process between brains of males and females, which explains why WOW look at them boobies
source: keralanext.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(90)
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
Ten nations without phone or net service after Intelsat accidentially de-orbits sat. IP over carrier pigeon suddenly gets more interesting
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(122)
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Proof that southerners can't drive in snow: Eight-hour commute in one inch of snow
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(457)
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
Red Sox fan wakes up from coma, finds out Red Sox won the World Series. Duke sucks
source: sports.espn.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(99)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
After balking at the Pentagon's rejected "non-lethal warfare" ideas, such as a gay bomb, it's your chance to help out our nation's think tank. Photoshop your concept for "non-lethal warfare"
source: images.google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(162)
 
(AZCentral)
 
 
 
Fort Wayne, Indiana, voted America's dumbest town. Residents are apparently pissed
source: azcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(330)
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
It's time for another episode of "France Thinks Lance Armstrong's a Doper"
source: reuters.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(160)
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
If you don't like your restaurant service, spraypaint your complaint on the wall. To prove your innocence, when police confront you, ask for copies of the evidence photos
source: thebostonchannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(43)
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Bodyguard of Michael Moore arrested on airport gun charge; apparently hadn't watched "Bowling for Columbine" either
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(570)
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
God tests our faith once again, this time by planting 4.5-million-year-old hominid remains in Africa
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(1355)
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Miss your flannel shirts, Right Said Fred CDs and Furby? Don't fret: Nineties-themed dance clubs are heading your way
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(182)
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Prostitutes, like Gremlins, hate bright light
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(85)
 
(Iwon)
 
 
 
Man holds up sex shop in Milan. Gets angry at small amount of money. Police hope inflatable doll will blow his cover
source: reuters.iwon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(36)
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Cross-dressing fish discovered -- confuses its own species to have a better chance of getting laid
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(46)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Curt Schilling announces that he will pitch on custom-made crutches on opening day
source: callofthegreenmonster.typepad.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(91)
 
(Denver Channel)
 
 
 
Wyoming may make the Jackalope its official mythical creature, because the Jackalope is the only thing in Wyoming that's definitely not the product of incest
source: thedenverchannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(102)
 
(Reno Gazette-Journal)
 
 
 
Man attempts do-it-yourself castration based on directions he found on the internets
source: rgj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(134)
 
(FemaleFirst.co.uk)
 
 
 
Farmer rescues Reese Witherspoon from a frog wedged in her cleavage
source: femalefirst.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(127)
 
(ICNetwork)
 
 
 
UK's most notorious serial killer given the day out (66)
 
(Times Online)
 
 
 
Iran says they want Salman Rushdie dead again for writing some crappy book in 1988
source: timesonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(148)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Jenna Bush joins her mother as a fan of Satan
source: story.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(268)
 
(Alienated)
 
 
 
January: Nothing like it in sunny SoCal! Join us for a good time! Link goes to alleged "last" reminder about a party
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(69)
 
(Mainichi Daily News)
 
 
 
Woman faces charges for deleting ex-boyfriend's online in-game weapons and armor. Case likely to be thrown out because as we all know gamers don't have girlfriends
source: mdn.mainichi.co.jp   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(137)
 
(Some Guy)
 
Boobies
 
Lauren Michelle Hill. (Not safe for work, or restrictive underwear)
source: centerfold-babes.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(191)
 
(Billings Gazette)
 
 
 
Colleges using sex, skiing, rock and roll to recruit students
source: billingsgazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(58)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Jury loses mind, awards $135 million judgment against NY Giants beer vendor. Personal responsibility wanders off and gets blind drunk
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(432)
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Delta Air loses $2.2 billion in three months. May be in Cleveland baggage claim, but they are not sure
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(63)
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Bush sworn in
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(1446)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Homeless man, 21, returns to high school and poses as student for weeks, tired of only female teachers picking up on under-age students, wanted piece of action
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(85)
 
(Newsday)
 
 
 
Police catch check-forgers with pizza sting, then proceed to eat the evidence
source: newsday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(70)
 
(Chron)
 
 
 
Connecticut lawmaker proposes law to make movie theaters publish real start times
source: chron.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(170)
 
(Some Farker)
 
 
 
Photoshop this farker's daughter in awe of something. Difficulty: Has to be able to show her mom the contest
source: spanishlanguagehelp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(155)
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Today's fearmongering organization, brought to you by WHO: Evolution of bird flu virus could start human flu pandemic. America tells world not to worry, evolution is just a theory
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(218)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Today's "60 cats found in van during traffic stop" story brought to you by Roswell, NM
source: newsday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(68)
 
(nctimes)
 
 
 
Rolling Stone refuses to run ad for new translation of Bible aimed at young people, apparently not happy with Jesus yelling "Not cool, dude" at Judas, or glowstick techno-rave at Last Supper
source: nctimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(480)
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
Woman has giant baby. In other news, drunken, incoherent stork found at local bar weeping and muttering, "So big... it was so big..."
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(174)
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
State senator refers to Marlins baseball team as "terrorists." No doubt there is something in the Patriot Act that will allow prosecution of these evil bastards
source: sports.espn.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(85)
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
"I remember the times when only men could stand up and pee," said the old man
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(92)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Jumbo squid are washing up on the beach in California, asking for directions to The Krusty Krab
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(102)
 
(NOAA)
 
 
 
William Henry Harrison's inauguration speech took so long in the cold weather, he caught pneumonia and died a month later
source: erh.noaa.gov   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(265)
 
(L.A. Times)
 
 
 
Rare ugly-ass baby anteater arrives at L.A. Zoo (with pics)
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(61)
 
(Some Alter Ego)
 
 
 
Photoshop Duct-Tape Man
source: img117.exs.cx   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(85)
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
It's so cold in Ottawa that the buildings there are making cracking sounds and residents are reporting it as gunfire
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(181)
 
(Some Boffin)
 
 
 
Controlled nuclear fusion reproduced in a laboratory
source: rpi.edu   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(194)
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
"Near-space" military aircraft operating above 65,000 feet but below outer-space orbit could be in action by next year
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(96)
 


Wed January 19, 2005
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Sharon was all like, nuh-uh Abbas, and not be friends now. And Abbas is just, ya know, Abbas was all like wha-evah. But now Sharon is all like, hey, let's just be friends. And Abbas is just, ya know, like, okay
source: story.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(124)
 
(Some Compensating Guy)
 
 
 
Ford launches a "rolling urban command center" concept vehicle. Appearing on MTV soon
source: fordvehicles.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(241)
 
(Denver Post)
 
 
 
Man gets back class ring that was flushed down a toilet in 1979
source: denverpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(66)
 
(OregonLive)
 
 
 
Theft of sacred giant foam doughnut thwarted by angry employees, customers, police, Jesus. "Put the giant doughnut down. Nobody touches the doughnut, man"
source: oregonlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(64)
 
(ABC)
 
 
 
Old and busted: Anorexic ballet dancers. New hotness: Obese dancing tubs of lard
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(139)
 
(Airbus)
 
 
 
Airboat to be announced. Photoshop most desired new plane features
source: pro-networks.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(98)
 
(Weekly World News)
 
 
 
The Eiffel Tower is a portal to hell
source: keepmedia.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(144)
 
(Denver Channel)
 
 
 
Man sticking to story that bullet went through three floors of house to hit his girlfriend
source: thedenverchannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(59)
 
(KOBTV)
 
 
 
Naked man found wandering elementary school, carrying backpack full of drugs and weapons
source: kobtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(98)
 
(Free Iraqi)
 
 
 
Primary source for NYT Iraqi blog story says it was "a bad piece of journalism"
source: iraqilibe.blogspot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(137)
 
(NCBuy)
 
 
 
Mars Rover finds basketball-sized meteor, raising hopes of a new venue for the Golden State Warriors
source: kevxml2a.infospace.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(45)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Spider-man creator Stan Lee awarded 10 percent of profits from movies. With 10 percent profit, there must come 10 percent responsibility
source: story.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(131)
 
(eBay)
 
 
 
Man auctions his left nut on eBay to buy a tractor
source: cgi.ebay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(107)
 
(NY Daily News)
 
 
 
New York City is the safest city in America. Well, except that there's 2,000 convicted killers walking the streets, but who's counting?
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(96)
 
(Turkish Press)
 
 
 
Spain's Catholic Church says it never condoned the use of condoms, recommends pullin' out porno-style
source: turkishpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(138)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
"Axis of Evil" becomes "Outposts of Tyranny." New members appear to have signed up
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(212)
 
(IndyStar)
 
 
 
One bad keystroke in Indianapolis results in a million people getting boil-water orders, schools closing, businesses throwing away tons of food, and one Mavis Beacon dropout getting fired
source: theindychannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(61)
 
(Tampa Bay Online)
 
 
 
Morgue technician misreads toe tags. Hilarity ensues
source: ap.tbo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(38)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Shroud of Turin may be older than thought: Scientist claims that 1988 carbon-14 test was from a "Keep on Truckin'" patch added later
source: biz.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(231)
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Loopy politician tries to play the terrorist card on a filmmaker who filmed suicides on the Golden Gate Bridge. (Last sentence of article)
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(99)
 
(Boston Herald)
 
NewsFlash
 
Drudge, ABC Radio reporting possible dirty bomb plot unfolding in Boston (Boston Herald link currently)
source: news.bostonherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(784)
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Man has toothbrush removed from his stomach. Apparently got a bit overzealous on those back molars
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(20)
 
(Iceland Review)
 
 
 
There are strange things done in the midnight sun: Icelandic women own most vibrators per capita
source: icelandreview.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(96)
 
(abc27)
 
 
 
Daunte Culpepper is upset with Eagles fans for throwing things at his wife during Sunday's game. Apparently, Eagles fans can actually hit their intended receiver
source: abc27.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(164)
 
(WCPO)
 
 
 
Want to display the Ten Commandments at your courhouse, but that pesky Constitution keeps getting in the way? Just sell the space to a "private" entity
source: wcpo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(437)
 
(zwire.com)
 
 
 
Drive in to Long John Silver's and enjoy the new "Fish and More" combo, where the "more" means "ganja"
source: zwire.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(176)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Head of the Catholic Church in Spain condones the use of condoms to prevent the spread of AIDS. Excommunication in five... four... three...
source: story.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(142)
 
(Business Day)
 
 
 
And the number one reason not to get a circumcision when you are 22 is: Accidental amputation
source: bday.co.za   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(231)
 
(Sky.com)
 
 
 
Britney Spears tells staff at maternity store she is nine weeks pregnant, still publicly claims to be a virgin
source: sky.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(146)
 
(Janesville Gazette)
 
 
 
Man dangles two-year-old out second-story window for toddling in front of him while trying to grab a beer from the refrigerator
source: janesvillegazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(88)
 
(The-Numbers)
 
 
 
Columnist forgets his TotalFark password; sees productivity soar
source: the-numbers.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(55)
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Discuss the upcoming VideoEdit contest: a job interview gone wrong. Details in link and thread
source: romproductions.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(111)
 
(LarsThorwald)
 
 
 
Reminder: Inauguration Day Fark Party tomorrow in Arlington, VA. Details in thread, link goes to venue
source: whitlows.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(117)
 
(Discovery)
 
 
 
Ancient Egyptians sold fake mummified cats
source: dsc.discovery.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(46)
 
(St. Petersburg Times)
 
 
 
Seats in the Tampa Bay Buccaneers' stadium have faded into pink. The team itself has faded into creamsicle
source: sptimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(73)
 
(Chicago Sun-Times)
 
 
 
Historians discover victim of Nazi program to kill mentally ill people was relative of Adolf Hitler
source: suntimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(129)
 
(Denver Channel)
 
 
 
CDC admits error in obesity death estimate. Smoking reclaims No. 1 spot
source: thedenverchannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(79)
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Red October submarine, like Alec Baldwin's acting career, being turned into scrap
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(73)
 
(Pottstown Mercury)
 
 
 
If the article says "Tremendous amounts of Vaseline covering his entire body and the interior of his vehicle," it's gotta be funny
source: pottsmerc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(74)
 
(Google)
 
 
 
Make a Fark cereal. Difficulty: No pickles
source: images.google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(99)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Quality of airplane drinking water worsens. This report brought to you by the People Who Don't Understand the Concept of the Beverage Cart
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(81)
 
(Gazette)
 
 
 
Colorado spends $21,000 to name a highway improvement project
source: gazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(37)
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Construction worker, who unknowingly shot self with nail gun, says he feels like making pizza now
source: cnews.canoe.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(41)
 
(News-Leader)
 
 
 
Texas considers adding obesity to kids' report card because fat and stupid is no way to go through life, son
source: news-leader.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(171)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
"Megadisasters in megacities" are "frightening," says UN Department of the Obvious
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(54)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
German garbagemen take down and incinerate "public art" by accident; must take "Art Appreciation Course"
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(48)
 
(VH1)
 
 
 
Surprise: Britney dances in her underwear in her new video
source: vh1.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(220)
 
(NEIC)
 
 
 
Tsunami near Fukushima, Japan
source: wwwneic.cr.usgs.gov   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(119)
 
(Local10)
 
 
 
Company removes roof of wrong house
source: local10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(50)
 
(chrenkoff)
 
 
 
"An Iraqi can only seem 'genuine' if he shares the liberal media elite's doubts about the liberation of Iraq. God forbid that anyone could possibly be happy that Saddam's gone; such people must obviously be frauds"
source: chrenkoff.blogspot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(721)
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
"I have explosives strapped to my body" is generally not the recommended answer to "Would you like some pretzels?"
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(57)
 
(NCBuy)
 
 
 
Colorado lynx travels 800 miles to Montana, citing oppressive property taxes, zoning laws, Coors
source: kevxml2a.infospace.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(51)
 
(Slashdot)
 
 
 
EA pitches "The Sims" as a reality show. Don't miss the episode where someone's bladder meter empties and everybody makes horn sounds
source: games.slashdot.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(90)
 
(SI.com)
 
 
 
Mike Piazza to marry a Playboy playmate. In other news, Mike Piazza apparently not gay after all
source: sportsillustrated.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(120)
 
(Chicago Sun-Times)
 
 
 
New Zealand embarrassed by postage stamp depicting ewe with long horns only found on rams. Error blamed on fact few New Zealanders have actually seen front of ewe before
source: suntimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(96)
 
(BBSpot)
 
 
 
Microsoft's antispyware tool removes Internet Explorer
source: bbspot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(136)
 
(Casper Tribune)
 
 
 
Fuel lead singer drops F-bomb at inaugural youth concert headlined by Hilary Duff. In other news, Fuel announces breakup after realizing they were opening for Hilary Duff
source: casperstartribune.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(231)
 
(Scotsman)
 
 
 
Barclays ordered to pay 748,000,000,000,000 pounds ($1.4 quadrillion) compensation to former owner of a Spanish bank it acquired 25 years ago
source: news.scotsman.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(107)
 
(Wired)
 
 
 
Democrats grill Rice. Rice fields tough questions. Asians perplexed
source: wireservice.wired.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(548)
 
(MLive)
 
 
 
New Star Wars movie to be darker, more sinister. As evidenced by new "Darth Tater" product tie-in
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(124)
 
(Soo Today)
 
 
 
Photoshop this sculpture
source: sootoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(92)
 
(Some Small Paper)
 
 
 
Man chases, pulls over, then attacks bus full of children after it doesn't pick up his son at undesignated stop. Upset he had to go out in the cold. Now demands school pays for his gas
source: timeswrsw.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(81)
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
AudioEdit the new Starbucks for dogs
source: google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(20)
 
(Daily Gamecock)
 
 
 
College dance team prohibited from performing during timeouts of basketball games because they're shaking their asses a little too well
source: dailygamecock.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(166)
 
(Flick, Ralphie's friend)
 
 
 
The "triple dog dare" strikes again. Kid thez he will thumday get hith revenge
source: channelcincinnati.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(58)
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Johnny Carson, missing his nightly monologue, sends his jokes to David Letterman
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(112)
 
(Some Yahoo)
 
 
 
Dog dramatically improves quality of action on NBA court by crapping on it
source: sports.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(42)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Boy faces criminal charges after throwing Milk Dud out the window
source: news-journalonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(107)
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Australian billionaire tells barefoot councillor: Take a bath, get a makeover, hippy
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(112)
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
David Duchovny says, "The sequel is out there"
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(169)
 


Tue January 18, 2005
(the candy of darkness)
 
 
 
Photoshop unlikely Pez dispensers (link goes to inspiration)
source: inlandempirestrikesback.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(125)
 
(ABC)
 
 
 
And Dan Rather's replacement will be... no one
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(123)
 
(IndyStar)
 
 
 
Mel Gibson tries to have part of his $17-million estate zoned as farmland in order to try to save $10,000 in taxes
source: indystar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(139)
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
After the tsunami come the ghost-busting monks
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(72)
 
(Defamer.com)
 
 
 
Lindsay Lohan found drinking in New Orleans, where the drinking age isn't 18 anymore
source: defamer.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(239)
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
When arrested for possessing counterfeit money, don't pay your bail using counterfeit money
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(33)
 
(Herald-Mail Online)
 
 
 
Cops who've had to arrest nude suspects suffering from PNGTS (Post Naked Guy Tackling Syndrome)
source: herald-mail.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(52)
 
(Monterey Herald)
 
 
 
D.A. faces jury pool from hell. "I'm on morphine and I'm higher than a kite"
source: montereyherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(108)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
"Take your kids to work" day is a bad idea if you're a burglar
source: swtimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(34)
 
(Space.com)
 
 
 
Powerful solar storm to hit Earth by Wednesday
source: space.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(140)
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
The 17-20 Boston Celtics are in first place in the NBA's Atlantic Division. Bird, Chief, DJ cry a little bit. No one else can remember the last time they cared about pro basketball. Duke sucks
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(91)
 
(Globe and Mail)
 
 
 
Parents who went to college are more likely to produce children who will go to college, become liberal for a few years before transforming into conservatives
source: theglobeandmail.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(309)
 
(NY Daily News)
 
 
 
Trump tells fiance that, unlike his previous wives, he has no plans to cheat on her
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(63)
 
(FunReports)
 
 
 
Moscovite parrot eats telephone cables on the sly for two months
source: funreports.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(31)
 
(WTOP News)
 
 
 
Police in standoff with man threatening to blow up van parked one block away from White House
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(280)
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
Roger Clemens says he's worth $22 million next year. Duke sucks
source: sports.espn.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(113)
 
(ABC)
 
 
 
Condi to Senate: America's exit strategy is "directly proportional to Iraq's ability to defend itself." She then revealed that the "angle of the dangle is inversely proportional to the heat of the meat"
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(381)
 
(IOL.co.za)
 
 
 
Berlin police on the look out for culprits sticking tiny U.S. flags in piles of dog poo throughout city parks
source: iol.co.za   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(283)
 
(Click On Detroit)
 
 
 
If you're a convicted felon and you leave your unregistered firearm at your favorite watering hole, try to mark it up as a mistake and let it go
source: clickondetroit.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(58)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
PS these shepherds watching o'er their flock
source: augustachronicle.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(107)
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
Study finds old people don't use the internets, gas pedal
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(108)
 
(NCBuy)
 
 
 
Martin Scorsese has been working on a film about Bob Dylan for the past two years, much to the surprise of Bob Dylan, with whom he's never spoken
source: kevxml2a.infospace.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(135)
 
(rian.ru)
 
 
 
Ukranian man has not slept in 20 years. Doctors are mystified, say man keeps mumbling something about clowns eating him
source: en.rian.ru   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(182)
 
(SacBee)
 
 
 
Boy wins national championship in sport he doesn't even like, only did it after missing bus to finals
source: sacbee.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(89)
 
(Flashnews)
 
 
 
For the girl who has everything except a rack: Gummy Bear breast implants
source: flashnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(182)
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Survivor's Richard Hatch "forgets" to report his $1M winnings to the IRS. The Smoking Gun is there
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(179)
 
(The Mirror)
 
 
 
Forty-two percent of young men fake orgasms. Presumably using mayonnaise, or some such thing
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(464)
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Today's "Serial panty thief steals 217 pairs of underwear, 24 bras, two pairs of shorts a skirt and an evening gown" brought to you by Farmington, New Mexico
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(74)
 
(Tampa Bay Online)
 
 
 
Doctor to treat "Frank" of "Frank Must Die" for free
source: ap.tbo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(75)
 
(Local6)
 
 
 
Woman falls to death attempting handstand on hotel balcony
source: local6.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(170)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Woman attacks ex's car with salami slices. The Meat Ninja strikes again
source: dailynewstribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(67)
 
(WPVI - Philadelphia)
 
 
 
DaimlerChrysler rushing production of a single 2006 Dodge Charger because 50 Cent can't wait until the official spring launch date to get his
source: abclocal.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(237)
 
(Local10)
 
 
 
Swastikas, "Die Bush" sign on house worry neighbors, Secret Service
source: local10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(561)
 
(zwire.com)
 
 
 
Man blames automobile crash on imaginary friend
source: zwire.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(77)
 
(Some Pauline)
 
 
 
What kind of self-abuse led Penny the Superhamster to need this cone?
source: img124.exs.cx   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(112)
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Police sharpshooter nails suspect in mouth. Coroner rules death is suicide
source: guardian.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(106)
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Rat cells grown onto microchips could be the beginning of self-assembling machines. I for one welcome our cyborg rat masters
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(83)
 
(Physorg)
 
 
 
Ancient star catalog discovered on Roman statue. On the buttocks reads: Spartacus was here
source: physorg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(68)
 
(ABC)
 
 
 
Pawn makes it across chessboard. Bishop is freed
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(146)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Farker Dtinferno is trying to put together a tsunami-relief concert at his college. Any suggestions on getting a major label act?
source: bridgewater.edu   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(180)
 
(Tampa Bay Online)
 
 
 
Midwest Airlines announces frequent flyer miles for pets. Your dog wants an upgrade
source: ap.tbo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(32)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Fox has announced that the fourth season of "Family Guy" will premier May 1st
source: thefutoncritic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(380)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this frozen man-eagle tango
source: weareacamera.ilovegames.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(62)
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
The Chicago Bulls do something they haven't done since his Airness was in town -- win seven in a row
source: sports.espn.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(96)
 
(Metro Times)
 
 
 
Fark.com gets a shout-out, word to your mother
source: metrotimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(92)
 


Mon January 17, 2005
(ESPN)
 
 
 
EA Sports (makers of Madden, among others) and ESPN announce 15-year partnership. Sega surrenders
source: sports.espn.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(290)
 
(National Review)
 
 
 
Psst, the deficit's shrinking
source: nationalreview.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(654)
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Chance of rain in Las Vegas today: 0%. Chance of getting fired from your TV weather gig for calling Martin Luther King Jr a "coon": 100%
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(485)
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
A sign that the FCC is out of control: Fox pixillates a cartoon butt due to FCC worries
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(201)
 
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
Friends don't let nine-year-old daughters drive their drunk fathers home. Usually
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(49)
 
(Fairbanks Daily News-Miner)
 
 
 
Alaska state troopers make marijuana bust in rural village of Quinhagak. Residents claim pot necessary to pronounce village's name
source: news-miner.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(77)
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
Harvard president says "Girls may just be dumber at math and science"
source: seattlepi.nwsource.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(485)
 
(Arizona Star)
 
 
 
Professor says psychic really is conversing with the dead, based on bringing back really meaningful quotations like "I don't walk alone" and being 77 percent accurate on predictions
source: dailystar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(294)
 
(Bloomberg.com)
 
 
 
So, your son has been dropped from the big hockey game. What do you do? A) Tell him to try harder next time. B) Tell him he was unlucky. C) Strangle the coach until he's unconscious
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(86)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop these excited little bubble chasers
source: weareacamera.ilovegames.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(123)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Jerry Garcia's heirs sue burrito franchise over image use, don't want Garcia being associated with an unhealthy lifestyle
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(147)
 
(kutv.com)
 
 
 
Today's "dumbass starting fires so that he can look like a hero when he puts them out" story brought to you by Kamas, Utah
source: kutv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(35)
 
(BalticSWW)
 
 
 
StalinWorld opens in Lithuania. "It combines the charms of a Disneyland with the worst of the Soviet gulag prison camp"
source: balticsww.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(126)
 
(Contra Costa Times)
 
 
 
AirBus set to unveil big-ass airplane that can seat up to 800. That's twice the number of screaming toddlers onboard a 747
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(322)
 
(ABC)
 
 
 
Embarrass, Minnesota hits 54 below zero. "It gets old after a while," says town clerk
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(227)
 
(AZCentral)
 
 
 
In a move to appease all three people who wrote in to complain, the FCC has begun investigating Vince Neil's profane New Year's greeting over NBC's airwaves. Investigating it for what is anyone's guess. But they're on it
source: azcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(103)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Gunmen kidnap Catholic archbishop in Iraq. Vatican to unleash the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch
source: story.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(470)
 
(Stratfor Global Intelligence)
 
 
 
New Yorker report claims U.S. is sending covert teams into Iran to determine state of Iranian nuclear program. StratFor analysis ensues
source: stratfor.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(399)
 
(Juneau Empire)
 
 
 
Some bored Alaskan constructs 18-foot-tall robot that shoots nails and 20-foot-long flames (w/pic)
source: juneauempire.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(141)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Old hotness: Dorms for non-smokers. New hotness: Dorms for recovering alcoholics
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(103)
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
MSN Maps suggests seven country, 1700 mile, 47 hour route as quickest way to travel between two towns in Norway
source: mappoint.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(181)
 
(Canoe)
 
 
 
Fast-food employees shocked when man with samurai sword crawls through drive-through window to rob them. There can be only one
source: canoe.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(86)
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
Rock group 50 Foot Wave tries to cope with bad timing of debut album. I Am the World Trade Center unavailable for comment
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(96)
 
(Independent)
 
 
 
Earth simulator will allow British experts to predict climate change; collect seven armies for controlling Europe for one turn
source: news.independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(168)
 
(Mainichi Daily News)
 
 
 
Bank manager steals 58 million yen by replacing yen notes in the middle of stacks with blank pieces of paper
source: mdn.mainichi.co.jp   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(42)
 
(Seattle Times)
 
 
 
Last week's "Marine provokes suicide by cop to avoid returning to Iraq" headline revised after it is discovered that he wasn't scheduled to be returned
source: sacbee.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(87)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Scots proud to be unintelligible
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(138)
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Record industry uses artificial intelligence to work out if a song will be a hit. So, no change there then...
source: guardian.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(219)
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
Photoshop this ice sculptor
source: seattlepi.nwsource.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(84)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
From the hall of unintended consequences: Gay marriage amendment used as a reason for dismissing domestic-violence charges
source: wcpo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(885)
 
(Homestar Runner)
 
 
 
Sixteen-hour drum solo
source: homestarrunner.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(163)
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Sixty-six-year-old woman gives birth; can breastfeed her daughter while pushing her in a stroller
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(93)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Chinese leader Zhao Ziyang, who opposed the use of force against the Tiananmen Square demonstrators, dies at 85
source: edition.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(45)
 
(Channel 4)
 
 
 
Rare unseen films of England, shot between 1897 and 1913, to be shown. Look closely for a young Joan Collins
source: channel4.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(46)
 
(United States Capitol Police)
 
 
 
If you are attending the presidential inauguration, here's the list of prohibited items
source: uscapitolpolice.gov   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(337)
 
(I-Mockery)
 
 
 
Crazy Mexican public service announcements -- alcoholism
source: i-mockery.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(27)
 
(MLK Jr.)
 
 
 
"I've been to the mountain top" -- spoken the day before he died
source: americanrhetoric.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(213)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
China demands more KFC restaurants, unaware that 1.3 billion obese people in such a small area will hurl the Earth out of its orbit
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(72)
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
British officials decide to ease drunken violence at pub closing time by keeping pubs open 24 hours a day
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(43)
 
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
Woman fired for refusing to marry boss's friend, date boss
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(41)
 
(eweek.com)
 
 
 
Verizon Wireless disables built-in Bluetooth cell-phone features but (GASP) offers similar features for an additional charge. Suelarity ensues
source: eweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(113)
 
(Tampa Bay Online)
 
 
 
Dead bodies found in used-car sales office. Customers warned to rethink price haggling
source: tampatrib.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(29)
 
(High Times)
 
 
 
Over 300 birds, high on marijuana, fight as thousands of spectators goad them with drum beats and cymbals at annual festival in India
source: hightimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(61)
 
(Some Damn Dirty Ape)
 
 
 
Photoshop a farker's friend exploiting a lower species at a corporate outing. Difficulty: No bananas
source: boxer-briefs.diaryland.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(116)
 
(OregonLive.com)
 
 
 
Art lover leaves hometown $1 million to build and erect statue that must include the figure of at least one life-size naked man. "He was a very funny man, with a very strong sense of humor"
source: oregonlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(53)
 

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