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Sun January 16, 2005
Source     Fark Headline Comments
(Some photo stitcher)
 
 
 
Panoramas from Titan. *WOW* is about all we can add
source: anthony.liekens.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(186)
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
Six-foot-tall fugitive from justice found hiding inside television set
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(26)
 
(Omaha World Herald)
 
 
 
Omaha high school's "Distinguished African American Student Award" cancelled due to last year's incident of a white African American trying to win it
source: omaha.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(303)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Time reports rumor that CBS and CNN are in merger talks
source: time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(101)
 
(nsfw)
 
Boobies
 
Cam girl with a nearly perfect body (not safe for work)
source: nextdoornymph.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(252)
 
(Robot Maid)
 
 
 
What futuristic invention do you wish would hurry up and get here already?
source: images.search.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(300)
 
(Bordermail)
 
 
 
Left-wing think tank calls for poorer drivers to pay lower fines
source: bordermail.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(148)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
An extensive look at Social Security and its "crisis"
source: timecanada.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(394)
 
(Chron)
 
 
 
Illegal street mechanics look out for cops as they make their living in NYC
source: chron.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(103)
 
(John Conner)
 
 
 
Photoshop this girl and her puppy... if you want to live...
source: classytouch.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(164)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Ohio State Football made $30.1 million last year. Suck that, Wolverines
source: newarkadvocate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(213)
 
(Financial Times)
 
 
 
One man's Christmas search for sex toys at major department chains in London
source: news.ft.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(37)
 
(Pravda)
 
 
 
Surpassing Botswana, Russia is now the world leader in exported diamonds. Ice, ice, comrade
source: english.pravda.ru   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(47)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Ohio origami club endures latest round of beatings
source: smthop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(38)
 
(The Inquirer, UK)
 
 
 
Sex-toy manufacturer embarassed to discover that they reserved a booth at the wrong trade show
source: theinquirer.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(54)
 
(Lincoln Journal Star)
 
 
 
Universities are now using racy postcards to recruit students
source: journalstar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(70)
 
(X-Entertainment)
 
 
 
Set your coordinates for the breakfast tables of 1984: X-E looks back at Kellogg's "C-3P0's Cereal," sadly lacking Ackbar-shaped marshmallows
source: x-entertainment.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(53)
 
(New Scientist)
 
 
 
RIAA and MPAA employ company to develop software to track "seeders"
source: newscientist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(315)
 
(Coshocton Tribune)
 
 
 
Candy-flavored coffees are the coffee industry's Joe the Camel as it tries to hooks kids on caffeine
source: coshoctontribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(165)
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Nerds trying to make physics cool, hip and sexy so they can stop watching "Firefly" and start getting laid
source: today.reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(114)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop a "for males" product to be sold to women (or visa versa). Link goes to inspiration
source: footballfanatics.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(98)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
U.S. bank profits rising. This message brought to you by a $30 fee on your account and a 25 percent increase to your credit-card interest rate
source: story.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(165)
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Drivers drag race down suburban street at 90 MPH with kids in cars. Winner fined $850. Adding injury to insult of losing to woman, loser fined $1100
source: thesundaymail.news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(107)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Now you can even overclock your calculator
source: richfiles.solarbotics.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(119)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Ignoring rampant identity theft, Feds want to put retina scans on your drivers license. Planting radios in your teeth was just TOO obvious
source: story.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(154)
 
(Google)
 
 
 
Photoshop Prince Harry's rejected costume ideas
source: google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(151)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
From the "would have gotten away with it too if it weren't for you meddling kids" department, woman caught impersonating ghost
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(41)
 
(Salt Lake Tribune)
 
 
 
Enterprising woman starts business creating woven items -- like blankets and scarves -- from the hair of their pets
source: sltrib.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(35)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Bar owner gets rid of cocaine-snorting customers by spraying WD-40 on toilet seats
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(216)
 
(Mainichi Daily News)
 
 
 
Man armed with a paper cutter demands woman give him her pants
source: mdn.mainichi.co.jp   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(29)
 
(KSL News)
 
 
 
New drivers-ed simulators feature blaring music, chatty friends, ringing cell phones. Still no cure for 16-year-old dumbasses
source: tv.ksl.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(130)
 


Sat January 15, 2005
(some girl)
 
 
 
Photoshop this lonely bovine
source: ambientimmersion.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(184)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Tater Wars: The Spud Strikes Back
source: story.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(59)
 
(InfoWorld)
 
 
 
Windows Longhorn will be shipped in seven different versions, which will probably mean over 10,000 different bug fixes
source: informationweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(378)
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
AudioEdit the smackdown between Limbaugh and Franken
source: news.google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(17)
 
(Some Gal)
 
Weeners
 
Saturday night sausage fest (not safe for work)
source: freepornforwomen.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(98)
 
(Mainichi Daily News)
 
 
 
Tokyo government preparing to turn manholes into temporary toilets in the event of a major earthquake
source: mdn.mainichi.co.jp   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(28)
 
(NFL)
 
 
 
That fooseball -- it's the DEVIL
source: nfl.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(174)
 
(KUSA Denver)
 
 
 
Today's nail-in-skull accident brought to you by Brekenridge, Colorado (with x-ray pic)
source: 9news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(61)
 
(Muffit)
 
 
 
Which is better? NEW GALACTICA or the old GALACTICA?
source: images.google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(422)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Bed catches fire during sex. "We had never done that before and now she's in the hospital and my cat's dead"
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(122)
 
(Some Guy)
 
Boobies
 
Beautiful girl (NSFW)
source: almightyzeus.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(175)
 
(RedOrbit)
 
 
 
Realizing it would suck if it happened to us, United States announces plans to launch a tsunami warning system for the U.S. mainland
source: rednova.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(120)
 
(NASA)
 
 
 
Color pics of Saturn's moon released. ESPN boasts they had color pics of Moss' moon last week
source: saturn.jpl.nasa.gov   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(143)
 
(Tampa Bay Online)
 
 
 
Prague mayor charged $34 for two-mile taxi ride after disguising himself as tourist
source: ap.tbo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(84)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop the farmer and his dogs getting ready to feed the cows
source: jayhawkwds.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(105)
 
(Contact Music)
 
 
 
Actor who plays plastic surgeon on TV now plagued by strangers constantly asking him if he thinks their breasts are okay
source: contactmusic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(72)
 
(Newark Advocate)
 
 
 
Victoria's Secret to open up a new distribution center in Licking County
source: newarkadvocate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(41)
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
One eighth of the entire population of Rwanda -- a million people -- to go on trial for genocide
source: guardian.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(233)
 
(NY Journal News)
 
 
 
Parent annoyed that the school bus stop for his six- and nine-year-old daughters is right in front of a porn shop
source: nyjournalnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(123)
 
(IOL.co.za)
 
 
 
Community college offers courses in dating that are aimed at nerdy accounting types
source: iol.co.za   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(53)
 
(NY Daily News)
 
 
 
Serial groper says his hands "accidentally" fell into the laps of his victims. Repeatedly
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(44)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
British children demand pudding before their meat as new ban on spanking goes into effect
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(186)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop these men installing a giant pencil eraser
source: gfz-potsdam.de   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(82)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Village saved from weiner fumes
source: suburbanchicagonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(27)
 
(Sports Illustrated)
 
 
 
List of the NFL's top five all-time attention whores
source: sportsillustrated.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(123)
 
(IOL.co.za)
 
 
 
Woman with breast implants agrees to acupuncture treatment, what could possibly go wrong?
source: iol.co.za   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(62)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
High winds postpone wind farm construction
source: kpax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(35)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Family of child who's tennis ball became stuck in cathedral archway asks for ball back -- 91 years later
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(54)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Listerine drinker arrested for DUI
source: apnews.myway.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(74)
 
(Financial Times)
 
 
 
The most ironic story of the day: Chinese company guilty of selling pirated books about intellectual property rights
source: news.ft.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(48)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Bush's reading list
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(332)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Evangelism moves into the World of Warcraft. Jesus unavailable for comment
source: landoverbaptist.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(150)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
An interesting read about how scientists are now starting to think we are not the only galactic civilization
source: story.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(81)
 
(NSFW)
 
Boobies
 
Great googely moogely
source: 18post.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(154)
 
(PBS)
 
 
 
The secret history of the credit card
source: pbs.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(62)
 
(PR Newswire)
 
 
 
World's tallest, fastest roller-coaster completed in NJ. Goes from 0 to 128 mph in 3.5 seconds and reaching a maximum height of 456 feet (with pics and video). Crapping your pants optional
source: prnewswire.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(143)
 
(Billings Gazette)
 
 
 
Color coding is coming to snack foods as it has worked so well with terrorist alerts
source: billingsgazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(42)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
One-hundred-pound woman eats six-pound burger
source: apnews.myway.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(160)
 
(Google)
 
 
 
Let's have another colorization contest
source: quiz2.chem.arizona.edu   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(101)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
With no other reason to convince people to visit it, Utica proclaims itself the "chicken riggie" capital of universe and builds a festival around it
source: kpax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(71)
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Free salt. Lot's wife surrenders
source: vancouver.cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(67)
 


Fri January 14, 2005
(clevescene.com)
 
 
 
Hillbillies. Homemade wine. Homemade fireworks. A town fair. What could possibly go wrong?
source: clevescene.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(52)
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
Matt Leinart turns down NFL millions. Says he wants to go for a threepeat and will stay at USC for his senior seaon
source: sports.espn.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(191)
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
Standing ovation at end of speech saves lawmaker from being hit with falling ceiling fan
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(55)
 
(NBC4)
 
 
 
Man steals police cruiser while his own car is being searched. Cops steal man's car and chase down police cruiser
source: nbc4.tv   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(75)
 
(Computer Weekly)
 
 
 
Google fixes Gmail bug -- fails to fix issues with small penises, hot women, hair loss
source: computerweekly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(127)
 
(Salt Lake Tribune)
 
 
 
Officials in Utah are trying to determine if a .08 percent blood alcohol level is too much to legally operate a barstool
source: sltrib.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(81)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Snake cleared as suspect in fatal crash. Snake says he would like to thank cousin and lawyer Jonnie Cochran
source: 610wtvn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(36)
 
(Billings Gazette)
 
 
 
Woman convicted for letting 18-month-old daughter smoke pot, scarf down a dozen jars of creamed carrots
source: billingsgazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(135)
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
Computer glitch means five trials now underway in Massachusetts all have jurors whose names begin with the letter A
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(46)
 
(Some Farkette)
 
 
 
Police interfere before grandma suffers a "Reefer Madness" moment
source: canada.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(53)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Don't bring a bus to a tank fight
source: story.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(57)
 
(Local6)
 
 
 
Valentine's Day candy hearts get new designs. Kids still warned to stay away from ones with Mitsubishi logos, Playboy bunnies
source: local6.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(51)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this edgy obstacle course
source: thepilgrimssc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(112)
 
(Arizona Star)
 
 
 
SUNDAY, SUNDAY, SUNDAY come to the St. Augustine Cathedral to see actual parts of Jesus' crown of thorns and the cross. Also David Hasselhoff, the original Batmobile and the Coors Light twins
source: dailystar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(121)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Belle & Sebastian named best Scottish band ever, narrowly defeating the Bay City Rollers and those "I would walk 500 miles" guys
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(297)
 
(Greater Milwaukee Today)
 
 
 
Addiction to video games can lead to carpal tunnel, failing grades and 100 percent completion of Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas
source: gmtoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(161)
 
(Denver Channel)
 
 
 
GQ magazine survey reveals more men would wear makeup if it would get them promoted
source: thedenverchannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(83)
 
(WebIndia)
 
 
 
David Beckham to name his next child after his favourite Spanish beer
source: webindia123.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(95)
 
(NASA)
 
NewsFlash
 
First surface picture from Titan released. (Links to pictures get farked faster than a speeding Super Bowl nipple; see thread for link suggestions)
source: nasa.gov   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(649)
 
(Local6)
 
 
 
Sheep's brain found in school cafeteria dressing
source: local6.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(136)
 
(LBC 97.3)
 
 
 
Elderly woman abandons her cane, chases down two purse snatchers, busts their car window with her bare hands and gets her purse back. (With video report)
source: tampabays10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(89)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
And if they ban samurai swords, only criminals will have screwdrivers. Or something
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(126)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Textbook sticker claiming evolution is "only a theory" has been banned. Judge says sticker "lacks intelligent design"
source: story.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(1391)
 
(Click On Detroit)
 
 
 
Naked man bursts into middle school, insists employees listen to his demo tape
source: clickondetroit.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(66)
 
(KSTP)
 
 
 
Speling errur maks it on covr of skool katalog
source: kstp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(107)
 
(NY Daily News)
 
 
 
Topless woman in burkha on cover of Polish magazine offends Islamics. Who knew?
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(446)
 
(WestPress.co.uk)
 
 
 
Today's superhero is Roof Man, robber of McDonald's, breaker of jails, uninvited guest of Toys R Us
source: westpress.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(42)
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
In Sweden, noisy sex in an apartment is not grounds for eviction, as long as it is done in the daytime
source: apnews.excite.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(57)
 
(Chron)
 
 
 
Forgetting the meaning of "toll" in tollway, woman racks up $17,000 in fines
source: chron.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(72)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Bush stops calling senator demeaning nickname, still refers to President of Russia as Pootie Poot
source: edition.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(591)
 
(Sean Bolan's)
 
 
 
Reminder: Baltimore Fark Party, this Saturday the 15th, 8pm at Sean Bolan's in Federal Hill. Details in thread
source: seanbolans.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(48)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Huygens space probe successfully lands on Titan, orders coffee at nearby Starbucks
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(90)
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
Randy Moss says he's going to wave his weener around in the next celebration
source: sports.espn.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(283)
 
(CNN)
 
NewsFlash
 
California's Prado Dam close to bursting. Eight hundred evacuated
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(182)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Seven years and $3.3 billion later, Saturn probe battery designed to last three minutes
source: story.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(122)
 
(The Australian)
 
 
 
Finally remembering that he was born and educated in Connecticut, Dubya vows to cut the "cowboy" talk
source: theaustralian.news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(245)
 
(MJM)
 
 
 
Inmate fails to return to jail while on honor system work release
source: manassasjm.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(37)
 
(Denver Channel)
 
 
 
Coroner arrested for stealing drugs from corpses
source: thedenverchannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(64)
 
(Newsday)
 
 
 
Lawyer jokesters, proving that everyone hates lawyers until they need one, hire Ron Kuby
source: newsday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(151)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this funky Barcelona beach structure
source: photo.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(130)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Prince orders Harry to Auschwitz
source: edition.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(356)
 
(ESA)
 
NewsFlash
 
Huygens space probe has entered the atmosphere of Saturn's moon Titan
source: esa.int   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(197)
 
(Daily News)
 
 
 
If you only trip and start a domino effect down one escalator this year, trip at the Polar Express
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(48)
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
High school basketball game ends with total of seven points. Sophomore hit game-winning shot in the second quarter
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(139)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Sowers sued for saving seeds from season to season
source: ap.tbo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(304)
 
(LarsThorwald)
 
 
 
D.C./NoVA Inauguration Day Fark Party. Link goes to venue, details in thread
source: whitlows.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(123)
 
(The Volokh Conspiracy)
 
 
 
"Based on 253 journal articles, 99 books, 43 government publications, and some of its own empirical work, the National Academy of Sciences can't identify a single gun control regulation that reduced violent crime"
source: volokh.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(670)
 
(NYCitysearch)
 
 
 
NYC Fark Party, Feb. 3rd. Now serving two free beers, and all-night food and wine specials
source: newyork.citysearch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(83)
 
(SacBee)
 
 
 
Tax error totaling less than $40 results in $10,000 IRS fine for one-room school
source: sacbee.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(94)
 
(Danville News)
 
 
 
Female huffer arrested after complaining loudly about girls making sandwiches and guy's butts
source: zwire.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(89)
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Career day speaker tells eighth graders that stripping is a good way to make mad dollaz
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(104)
 
(Some TFer)
 
 
 
Theme: Photoshop classic paintings for modern times. (LGN)
source: images.google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(228)
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Ugly-ass carp found with creepy human face
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(110)
 
(Canoe)
 
 
 
Prosecutors seek mental exam for man accused of using poodle as weapon
source: cnews.canoe.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(50)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Arizona sheriff deputies now using hot pink handcuffs
source: apnews.myway.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(86)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
French cemetary erect fence around statue after groin area shows signs of wear (w/pic)
source: news.agendainc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(92)
 


Thu January 13, 2005
(The Columbian)
 
 
 
Guy who stole a tractor-trailer rig gets nabbed when he calls 911 for help. Seems he mistook the driver's tobacco juice spit cup for a refreshing beverage, hilarity ensued
source: columbian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(65)
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
U.S. military tried to develop sex bomb, which would make male enemy soldiers irresistible to each other, dealing a non-lethal blow against their morale, amongst other things
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(168)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Bus full of marijuana catches on fire. One firefighter was injured and 10 others went to Taco Bell for gorditas
source: story.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(79)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Bob Marley's body will not be exhumed and moved to Somalia
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(79)
 
(Defamer.com)
 
 
 
Lindsay Lohan somehow manages to keep her shirt on despite partying below a Girls Gone Wild Banner in New Orleans
source: defamer.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(137)
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
New eye medication will be injected into the eyeball (pic). Scientists now working on hemhorroid cure to be applied with sandpaper
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(89)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Harvard hires "Fun Czar" whose job is to protect and ensure students "right to party"
source: story.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(73)
 
(The Valley Independent)
 
 
 
Fireman arrested for DUI after wrecking fire truck on way to put out a fire. Man expected to be fired
source: pittsburghlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(56)
 
(Independent)
 
 
 
After 500 years, researchers find Leonardo da Vinci's Batcave
source: news.independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(112)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this heavy machinery
source: www-project.slac.stanford.edu   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(153)
 
(Denver Channel)
 
 
 
Experts warn that feeding breast milk bought on the internet to your kids may be dangerous
source: thedenverchannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(95)
 
(Durant Democrat)
 
 
 
Mystified at how they wound up portrayed as a ruthless corporation that exploits a poorly-paid work force, Wal-Mart takes out 100 full-page ads in PR blitz
source: durantdemocrat.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(491)
 
(Macon.com)
 
 
 
Lawmaker wants child sodomy punishable by death. Other lawmakers say they can get behind it
source: macon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(348)
 
(1010WINS)
 
 
 
New York City sends letters to people who bought smokes online demanding back taxes, or they will be fined $200 per carton
source: 1010wins.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(128)
 
(Globe and Mail)
 
 
 
If you are going to steal a famous hockey player's sweater, don't give it to your teenage daughter to prance around in at school the same day the story hits the papers
source: theglobeandmail.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(60)
 
(PalmBeachPost)
 
 
 
Gator going to eat your kids or pets? Not to worry, the Florida Fish and Game commision will be there in seven to 10 days to take care of it
source: palmbeachpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(56)
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
Moss fine for pseudo-moon: $5,000 per butt cheek
source: sports.espn.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(130)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Indianapolis looking for slogan. Post some slogan suggestions for the city, voting enabled
source: story.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(338)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Spencer Dryden, drummer for Jefferson Airplane, dead at 66. Last few years were rough. Two hip replacements, heart surgery, stomach cancer, and he lost everything when his house burned down. Add on top of that he slept with Grace Slick
source: story.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(83)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Following the Harry-as-a-Nazi fiasco, a summary of other great royal blunders
source: edition.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(111)
 
(Iowa City Press Citizen)
 
 
 
Iowa man doesn't have rent money, 45 minutes later does have rent money. Nearby bank robbed during same time period
source: press-citizen.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(41)
 
(SacBee)
 
 
 
Things found on the side of California highways this week: Empty cans, cigarette butts, a dead 400-pound tiger and some other junk
source: sacbee.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(37)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
China wants to build a ROAD to Taiwan, 125 miles off the coast. China says it will follow that up with a gift of a large statue of a horse for downtown Taipei
source: edition.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(117)
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Restaurant owners accused of using same kitchen to make food for customers and methamphetamine
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(62)
 
(Saanich News)
 
 
 
Crappy revolving-door justice system lets 80-time sex offender out... again
source: saanichnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(112)
 
(nbc5.com)
 
 
 
Couple racks up $1,400 in Wisconsin speeding tickets
source: nbc5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(116)
 
(Newsday)
 
 
 
Thelma White from "Reefer Madness" has died at 94
source: newsday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(176)
 
(Chicago Sun-Times)
 
 
 
If you're head of Chicago's Commission on Animal Care, make sure your staff doesn't power wash cages at pound when dogs are inside
source: suntimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(111)
 
(Canoe)
 
 
 
Three cartoon condoms, Shaft, Stretch and Dick, help in the battle against AIDS. This stuff just writes itself
source: canoe.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(95)
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
London Underground to pipe "uncool" music into stations to drive off thugs. "Uncool" defined here as Mozart and Vivaldi -- but strangely, not Ashlee Simpson
source: guardian.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(144)
 
(MCP)
 
 
 
Hollywood is out of ideas: Disney, forgetting that arcade game did better than the movie in 1982, decides to remake "Tron" in 2005
source: empireonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(237)
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Today's "dumbass burglars get caught on tape unsuccessfully attempt store break-in" story brought to you by Manchester, England (with hilarious video)
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(71)
 
(Local10.com)
 
 
 
Man who claimed partner died in 9/11 pleads guilty. Asks judge to be lenient because his best friend died in tsunami
source: local10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(68)
 
(Poughkeepsie Journal)
 
 
 
Lawmakers want to know if living near hazardous-waste sites is bad for your health
source: poughkeepsiejournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(52)
 
(Ben Maller)
 
 
 
Patriots leave field uncovered in snow and rain storm hoping to gain advantage against Colts
source: benmaller.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(265)
 
(Kennebecc Journal)
 
 
 
Having solved all the state's problems, Maine legislators have proposed several goofy bills, including switching to the Atlantic time zone so "we would have that extra hour of light," and declaring Moxie the official state drink
source: kennebecjournal.mainetoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(98)
 
(IOL.co.za)
 
 
 
Internet couple names their baby Yahoo. Little Fark Curtis unimpressed
source: iol.co.za   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(135)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Satirize a Goofus and Gallant strip. (Link goes to example for those not in the know)
source: highlightskids.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(121)
 
(Local10)
 
 
 
Hacker reads emails of Secret Service agent assigned to catch him. Cue Benny Hill music
source: local10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(95)
 
(Deseret News)
 
 
 
Stop me if you've heard this one: A nude woman saunters into a post office, and tells everyone to repent...
source: deseretnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(83)
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Shiite leader's top aide, two others killed in Iraq. Hitting the fan ruled out as cause of death
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(296)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
The circle is complete: British dentistry, garbagemen and mouth-to-mouth resuscitation
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(59)
 
(Chicago Sun-Times)
 
 
 
Fox tells Vikings owner to keep his pants on regarding Joe Buck's comments over Randy Moss
source: suntimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(226)
 
(FemaleFirst)
 
 
 
Penis found on Janet Jackson's neck. Justin Timberlake unavailable for comment
source: femalefirst.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(129)
 
(WVGazette)
 
 
 
Now what could possibly motivate a poor working cop to fail to present evidence against Powerball winner Jack Whittaker?
source: wvgazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(71)
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Break out the Jesus juice: E is going to re-enact the Wacko Jacko hearings for home-viewing goodness
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(59)
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Corruption? In unions? In New Jersey?
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(109)
 
(WGAL)
 
 
 
Mental health community protesting "crazy" teddy bear. Say it will cause panda-monium and that's the polar opposite of what they want
source: thewgalchannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(96)
 
(Female First)
 
 
 
Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman's children embarrassed by their parents. Apparently they saw "Eyes Wide Shut," also
source: femalefirst.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(103)
 
(Lexington Herald Leader)
 
 
 
AWOL marine decides the best way to settle a highway argument with a couple other marines is with a MAC-90
source: kentucky.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(196)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Man catches pooch falling from fifth-floor balcony. Dog must have had a rufff day
source: story.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(49)
 
(WGAL)
 
 
 
Woman beats out 12 men for "Sexiest Plumber" title. Family fear shower of attention will cause her to become stuck-up
source: thewgalchannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(73)
 
(Tampa Bay Online)
 
 
 
After cracking down on thongs, Florida officials trying to keep sticky balls off of Miami Beach
source: ap.tbo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(29)
 
(eCommerce Times)
 
 
 
Kraft decides to end sugary food advertisements to kids under 12. Press conference interrupted by Kool-Aid Man breaking through wall, shouting "Oh no!"
source: ecommercetimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(70)
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
Prince Harry wears Nazi soldier's uniform to fancy dress party. Apology not taken serious after he mutters, "Au schwitz, I was just joshin' ya"
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(456)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Large pile of manure burning for almost two months has Nebraska residents steaming, wearing goggles
source: story.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(39)
 
(Some Farkette)
 
 
 
Photoshop an ad for your favorite (or least favorite) image host. LGN worth mentioning
source: imageshack.us   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(88)
 
(Discovery)
 
 
 
Male flies use worthless gifts to distract females long enough for sex
source: animal.discovery.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(87)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Persistent nude jogger finally apprehended by Arkansas police after six-month spree. Man, aptly named Fate, stopped by use of taser
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(94)
 
(Some College Student)
 
 
 
The funniest college paper on Oedipus you will ever read
source: forums.anandtech.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(286)
 


Wed January 12, 2005
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Japanese women paying $4,000 to $10,000 to be "Cinderella" for a night -- even though $22 and a box of frozen corn dogs would let them be Britney Spears for a night
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(135)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop theme: Unlikely literacy campaigns
source: images.google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(118)
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
When the Mythbusters say "Roach foggers can blow up a home," pay attention
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(148)
 
(Durango Herald)
 
 
 
Student sit-in, intended to prove how important the school cafeteria is to students, ends in food fight
source: durangoherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(71)
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Paul Newman involved in race car crash. Other drivers claim left turn signal left on
source: msn.foxsports.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(61)
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
"We Are the World" redux cancelled. Lack of available talent amonst current popular singers considered probable cause
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(108)
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Government unveils new food pyramid. Now with more nude Iraqis
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(82)
 
(New Scientist)
 
 
 
NASA finally embraces what it is good at: Crashing probes violently
source: newscientist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(83)
 
(Local10.com)
 
 
 
With no hurricanes in sight, Florida city decides to kill some time by banning thongs. City says it plans to tackle plumber's butt next
source: local10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(125)
 
(ABC)
 
 
 
Study looks for and finds gene for human kindness. Nobody looks for human assholity gene, because we already know it's there
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(60)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Oklahoma highway users, wishing to call the state about electronic payment passes, mistakenly directed to sex hotline
source: story.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(35)
 
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
When leaving a bar drunk, don't drive right into the sobriety checkpoint 30 feet down the road
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(123)
 
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
Man in court for trying to have sex with a goat. Again
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(149)
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
NASCAR-type tear-off windshields being tested on U.S. Army helicopters. Still negotiating for left-turn-only navigation system
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(56)
 
(WorldNetDaily)
 
 
 
Bush Administration flip-flops, dumps Kid Rock from inauguration
source: worldnetdaily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(207)
 
(x1063)
 
 
 
Government ready to change laws so convicted arsonists can drive gasoline trucks. What could possibly go wrong?
source: x1063.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(37)
 
(FunReports)
 
 
 
Hot Russian blond sells her virginity online (with pic)
source: funreports.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(175)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Ted Kennedy: "We cannot become Republican clones and I cannot be more drunk"
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(284)
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Ad regulators tell FCUK off
source: uk.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(102)
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
Red meat linked to ass cancer. Your dog does not want steak
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(172)
 
(Flashnews)
 
 
 
MLK Jr: I have a drink
source: flashnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(75)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Don King to sue ESPN for $2.5 billion for depicting him as "snakeoil salesman" and "shameless huckster," forgetting that truth is a defense
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(65)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Cops in Florida prefer not to write each other tickets
source: sptimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(108)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Sony invents robot that can steal your beer. Time to buy that cattle prod
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(88)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Middle-school teacher suspended for telling students that Arabs use the Koran as toilet paper
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(250)
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
U.S officially declares hunt for Iraqi WMDs over. President Bush's last minute plan -- Operation Send in Scooby Doo and the Gang -- rejected for being unpossible
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(1285)
 
(Outpost Gallifrey)
 
 
 
Filming for new Doctor Who series hit by midget shortage. "You might say we're a bit short"
source: gallifreyone.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(104)
 
(KOIN)
 
 
 
"Honey, I swear, I picked up the herpes during a high school wrestling match"
source: koin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(122)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Don't expect the right to privacy if you are in a convenience store bathroom having sex while snorting coke and smoking pot
source: story.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(58)
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Farker Darkhop died in his sleep this past weekend (not a car accident -- Drew) (Obit)
source: darkhop.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(701)
 
(Chronicle)
 
 
 
Surgical tools at Duke-run hospitals washed with elevator hydraulic fluid instead of detergent. Unknown if elevators are extra-clean right now. Duke sucks
source: chronicle.duke.edu   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(26)
 
(MTV)
 
 
 
Ashlee Simpson blames everything but her lack of talent for her performance at the Orange Bowl. "If they didn't like the performance, and that's what it was about, then sorry to them"
source: mtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(308)
 
(WRAL.com)
 
 
 
Cocoa the Clown shoots and kills man breaking into his house, instead of hitting him with a cream pie or a giant shoe
source: wral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(99)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Bob Marley's widow plans to exhume his remains... and smoke 'em
source: story.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(51)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Irony 101: Amish teen killed by power line
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(149)
 
(Newsday)
 
 
 
Two men tell a lawyer joke in a court. Real lawyer overhears, has them arrested for "disorderly conduct." In honor of jerk lawyers, submit your favorite lawyer jokes. Voting enabled
source: newsday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(356)
 
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
German brothel donates money to disaster victims in their "screwed helping the screwed" campaign
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(27)
 
(SacBee)
 
 
 
Today's "Family lives with dozens of dogs cats and guinea pigs" story brought to you courtesy of Waynesburg, Pa. Landlord said he had no idea they had animals
source: sacbee.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(38)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop theme: The worst superhero to see coming to your rescue
source: images.google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(126)
 
(AFP)
 
 
 
Restaurant for bulimics opens in Berlin. Early reviews say the food is good, but the lines for the bathroom are horrendous
source: story.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(65)
 
(Science Daily)
 
 
 
Shakespeare's writings indicate he may have had syphilis, particularly the sonnet entitled, "Why Does It Hurt When I Pee?"
source: sciencedaily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(106)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Conservative website loses its domain to porn. Discovered by a student from Oxford doing "research"
source: edition.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(60)
 
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
Dogs that misbehave are smarter than obedient dogs
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(144)
 
(Gondolier-Sun)
 
 
 
Mayor threatens to sue Farker Hillary over online columns, says he's being cyberstalked. First Amendment surrenders, Hillary ensues
source: venicegondolier.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(98)
 
(Ireland OnLine)
 
 
 
Bill O'Reilly caves in to doing tsunami telethon after George Clooney channels GWB "You're either with the telethon or against it"
source: breakingnews.iol.ie   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(207)
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
Playboy playmate in court on assault charges. Witnesses who saw the fight report her karate was good, but they would have rather seen her box
source: seattlepi.nwsource.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(163)
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
AudioEdit a Hollywood Alcoholics Anonymous meeting
source: news.google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(14)
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Ex rips off man's tackle and puts it in her mouth. The Sun is there (with pic)
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(252)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
"Well hi-diddly-ho, neighboreeny. Say, wouldja mind returning that MiG-diddly-iG you borrowed from me last decade?"
source: story.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(66)
 
(Keystone RV Center)
 
 
 
Customize the interior of this RV
source: keystonervcenter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(104)
 
(22 NEWS)
 
 
 
There are many things for which you might be able to get away with paying counterfeit money. Sadly, bail is not one of them
source: wwlp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(32)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Teens steal plane to egg their school. Local authorities scramble to apprehend them
source: abclocal.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(77)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Man in dog suit OK after being hit by car. Claims no responsibility for man in cat suit stuck in tree across the street
source: dehavilland.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(33)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
New York town turns to disrupting crows' sleep with noise, hand-held lasers to get them to move along
source: lasvegassun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(28)
 
(Bangkok Post)
 
 
 
Eight-year-old proves that only idiots can't use computers
source: bangkokpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(146)
 
(AgNews)
 
 
 
Bleeding ladybugs invade Texas
source: agnews.tamu.edu   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(42)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Ali G tells the crowd at an Appalachian rodeo how Bush drinks the blood of children. What could possibly go wrong?
source: roanoke.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(1111)
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Stripper sextet busted for brushing against customers, "breaking the plane" between customer's knees. The Smoking Gun is there
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(188)
 
(New Scientist)
 
 
 
Scientists create sperm magnet, Paris Hilton unavailable for comment
source: newscientist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(50)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
British experts fear 24-hour-a-day alcohol sales will lead to 24-hour-a-day drinking. We'll drink to that
source: story.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(76)
 


Tue January 11, 2005
(Scotsman)
 
 
 
Japanese robotics experts claim robots will beat humans at football by 2050
source: news.scotsman.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(163)
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
When designing outdoor sculptures, try not to make them look like garbage
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(69)
 
(Bizneworleans)
 
 
 
Commercial radio stations join forces to combat XM and Sirius satellite radio using secret weapon: More commercials
source: bizneworleans.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(302)
 
(Space.com)
 
 
 
First extrasolar planet photographed. Will be nicknamed "Rupert" after some astronomer's parrot
source: space.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(84)
 
(E Online)
 
 
 
The annual worst dressed list is out. Some Deseperate Housewife takes the cake
source: eonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(67)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this particular unlikely encounter
source: ruutukaappaus.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(146)
 
(Denver Channel)
 
 
 
Once again, community leaders are SHOCKED to learn that prostitutes use the internets
source: thedenverchannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(101)
 
(webindia123.com)
 
 
 
Eminem believes that if he had released his single just a couple weeks earlier, he may have swung the election for Kerry
source: webindia123.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(282)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Ann McDonald gives birth in a McDonald's parking lot. Naming him Ronald not a possibility
source: story.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(51)
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Legless wrestler somehow kicks the competition's ass
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(138)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Female lawyers in Cyprus can now wear pants in court, still can't pee standing up
source: story.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(39)
 
(AZCentral)
 
 
 
Today's "1,000 mules in a woman's home" story brought to you by Good Hope, Illinois
source: azcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(76)
 
(Aftenposten.no)
 
 
 
When moose attack
source: aftenposten.no   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(105)
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
Top 33 things about this year's NBA season written by one of the seven people still watching the NBA
source: sports.espn.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(144)
 
(MTV)
 
 
 
SA Goons conspire to get Devo's "Whip It" aired on TRL. Let's help em out, write-in box is near the bottom
source: mtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(1776)
 
(MassLive.com)
 
 
 
Substitute teacher steals student's prosthetic arm
source: masslive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(67)
 
(Grand Rapids Press)
 
 
 
Kidnappee tossed in jail with kidnappers. Police: "He had a bad day going there"
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(76)
 
(Boston Herald)
 
 
 
Women complaining about naked Boston Globe editor showing up at their door, masturbating. The fact that this story is featured in the Globe's sole competitor is pure coincidence
source: thetrack.bostonherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(91)
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark party here, Fark party there, follow the link and set up a Fark party in your town
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(158)
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
School principal files police-brutality lawsuit after four cops, assuming he was on drugs, beat the crap out of him when he was actually having a diabetic attack
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(334)
 
(Newsday)
 
 
 
South Jersey parents block "The Simple Life" from filming at their kid's school, thus depriving the children a chance to meet real-life douchebags
source: newsday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(161)
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
Janitor and his floor buffer get a $200,000 lesson about what the "M" stands for in "MRI"
source: seattlepi.nwsource.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(216)
 
(ABC)
 
 
 
Beer has lost its sexiness and has an image crisis, say "analysts"
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(372)
 
(Denver Channel)
 
 
 
White House says payment to Armstrong Williams was isolated incident. Glad they cleared that up
source: thedenverchannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(424)
 
(Kerala Next)
 
 
 
U.S. government does study on how much rocket fuel is safe to drink
source: keralanext.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(102)
 
(IOL.co.za)
 
 
 
Squatter loses argument, genitalia
source: iol.co.za   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(61)
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
City workers rig waste water pipes to potable water system. Hilarity ensues
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(72)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop these un-ignorable street performers
source: voyageseurope.dyndns.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(137)
 
(Belleville News)
 
 
 
Police now performing their situational training with high-tech video simulator that can shoot back at them. What could possibly go wrong?
source: belleville.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(92)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Minister says he's going to heaven, does. Immediately
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(151)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Tsunami survivor picked up after 15 days at sea. Delivers FedEx package, mourns loss of Wilson
source: story.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(122)
 
(ABC)
 
 
 
Jon Stewart's America back on the shelves in Mississippi after library board deluged with e-mails
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(310)
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Michael Chertoff chosen to head Homeland Security Department, immediately raises terror alert level just for fun
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(182)
 
(Gamesindustry.biz)
 
 
 
Electronic Arts grabs exclusive rights to Arena Football League videogames. Next up: Exclusive rights for Milwaukee YMCA Basketball and Warren G. Harding Middle School hopscotch
source: gamesindustry.biz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(109)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
"Where to, buddy? Jail?" Alert cab driver takes robber straight to cops
source: montgomeryadvertiser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(35)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
In the lamest fight since "Alien vs. Predator," George Clooney gets into a tiff with Loofah Boy over Tsunami Telethon
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(239)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Vince Neil married by MC Hammer, in front of Rodman and Playboy Bunnies. It just writes itself
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(105)
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
How the NHL screwed itself
source: sports.espn.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(412)
 
(Herald Mail)
 
 
 
Columnist dismayed that his long journalistic career has somehow been reduced to being informed of every streaker at a Wal-Mart
source: herald-mail.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(61)
 
(WashingtonTimes)
 
 
 
Eleven days into 2005, Saudi Arabia is up to six beheadings of convicted criminals, far outpacing last year's total of thirty-five. Texas calls time-out as score begins to get out of hand
source: washingtontimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(317)
 
(Denver Channel)
 
 
 
Temporarily ignoring all things Hasselhoff, the No. 1 hit song in Germany is a four-year old girl's made-up song about Snappy the Little Crocodile
source: thedenverchannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(258)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Man eats raw duck before undies save him
source: story.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(84)
 
(Billings Gazette)
 
 
 
NASA gives Wyoming professor and student nearly a million bucks for quasar research because, well, they're pretty neato
source: billingsgazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(74)
 
(Bravo)
 
 
 
Just when you thought it was all dead, Bravo decides to shove another spinoff "Queer Eye" show down our throats
source: bravotv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(177)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this castle and its unique topiary
source: voyageseurope.dyndns.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(135)
 


Mon January 10, 2005
(AZCentral)
 
 
 
Wealthiest residents of Phoenix repeatedly robbed by sophisticated rock-throwing burglars
source: azcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(111)
 
(All Access)
 
 
 
Man charged with telephone harassment after repeatedly placing obscene calls from an intensive-care waiting room
source: abclocal.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(37)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Women found to live longer lives because of stronger hearts. Men, on other hand, live happier lives because of stronger and more violent gas emissions
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(79)
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Canadian bureaucrat used government credit cards to buy $150,000 worth of hockey cards. Canadians consider it an improved use of tax dollars
source: story.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(71)
 
(Biloxi Sun Herald)
 
 
 
Toilet-seat museum showcases Elvis, mounted insects, ash from Mount St. Helens
source: sunherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(23)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
China's 1.3 billionth citizen will not be a diaper spokesman
source: story.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(56)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Theme: Photoshop unlikely encounters
source: google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(151)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Human gene that could prevent HIV infection found. Side effects of gene therapy said to include excessive body hair and craving for bananas
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(114)
 
(Mainichi Daily News)
 
 
 
Japan's high-tech prowess pushing upskirt shots to ever greater heights
source: mdn.mainichi.co.jp   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(102)
 
(WSB Radio)
 
 
 
Bush says he'd welcome Abbas to U.S. but only if they agree to play "Dancing Queen"
source: wsbradio.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(85)
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
♫ The KKK took my litter away ♫ They took it away ♫ In Mis-sour-i-eee ♫
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(157)
 
(earthtimes.org)
 
 
 
Olive oil beats breast cancer. Popeye shocked she had breasts at all
source: earthtimes.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(87)
 
(NY Post)
 
 
 
The New York Yankees actually passed on signing Carlos Beltran because it would have driven their luxury tax payment up too high. And so they say Bud Selig's head grew three sizes that day
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(62)
 
(Detroit News)
 
 
 
"That thang got a Hemi?" "Yessir. Two of 'em." Jeep unveils dual-engined rockhopper that can turn around in its own wheelbase and hit 60 mph in less than five seconds
source: detnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(256)
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
Clueless police hoping murderer will voluntarily submit DNA sample
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(93)
 
(Boston Herald)
 
 
 
The Steelers won't win the Super Bowl because of the Chunky Soup curse
source: thetrack.bostonherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(145)
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Islamic leader wants tsunami aid workers out of Indonesia because they might invade and corrupt the populace... the populace that would otherwise be dying
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(262)
 
(New Mexico Channel)
 
 
 
Loving mother decorates baby's room with very own E-Z Bake Meth Lab
source: thenewmexicochannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(58)
 
(New Kerala)
 
 
 
Gandhi International Airport declares a porn alert
source: newkerala.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(39)
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
Randy Moss likely to be fined $5000 for mooning celebration. Moss reportedly planning next celebration involving a cell phone to make it look like he's talking out of his butt
source: sports.espn.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(173)
 
(Fresno Bee)
 
 
 
High school principal, fed up with students "freak dancing," cancels every school dance planned for the year. Also wants students wrapped in cotton wool all year round and going outside to be declared too dangerous
source: tallahassee.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(212)
 
(Salt Lake Tribune)
 
 
 
Feminists are afraid of Bush, yet have plenty of it
source: sltrib.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(244)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
When having a pig roast in the basement of your city row home using two 20-pound propane canisters and an open flame, don't forget to take the plastic sheeting off all your windows
source: readingeagle.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(53)
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Ten students strip searched for missing $10 bill
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(157)
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Viewers to grab hold of conceptual reality sperm-donor show, said to spank the competition. More to come...
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(44)
 
(NY Daily News)
 
 
 
Resolutions for the 25 most overexposed celebrities. For No. 17 Tara Reid: "I will never accidentally pose nude again"
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(142)
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Canada's national memorial service for tsunami victims, with seating for 15,000, attracts only 1,500 as disaster fatigue sets in
source: ottawa.cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(206)
 
(Newsday)
 
 
 
"Welcome to New York." Randy Johnson shoves camera man and tells him not to talk back to him. He'll fit in well there
source: newsday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(133)
 
(Times Online)
 
 
 
Best Chewbacca Defense of the New Year: Making naked iraqi prisoners form pyrmaids is not torture, because "Cheerleaders all over America form pyramids six to eight times a year"
source: timesonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(911)
 
(The Sunday Mail)
 
 
 
Great-grandmother leaves superglue next to eye drops in the fridge. Hilarity ensues
source: thesundaymail.news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(119)
 
(Mainichi Daily News)
 
 
 
Youths run amok during "Coming of Age" festivities
source: mdn.mainichi.co.jp   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(75)
 
(FemaleFirst.co.uk)
 
 
 
Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston's marriage came to an end after she caught him having phone sex with Angelina Jolie. He tried to claim they were working on a scene for "Womb Raider"
source: femalefirst.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(289)
 
(St. Petersburg Times)
 
 
 
The Tampa Bay Devil Rays, a team that has never won more than 70 games in franchise history, is raising ticket prices
source: sptimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(63)
 
(The Tennessean)
 
 
 
Group of virgins anually celebrate their virginity by moving strangely carved pieces of wood and yelling out names of republics
source: tennessean.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(86)
 
(PC World)
 
 
 
New "We're Boned" security rating invented for Windows hole that no one can do anything about
source: pcworld.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(287)
 
(Pistonheads.com)
 
 
 
Omnipresent speed cameras in Britain may all be overestimating vehicle speeds by as much as 25 percent
source: pistonheads.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(77)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Accountability for CBS's "faked memos for Democrats" scandal handed down: Four staffers fired
source: story.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(554)
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Columbia House to launch porn club. Your selection of the month is: "Box Lunch Vol. 37"
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(63)
 
(Homestar Runner)
 
 
 
My Lappy ate you dog
source: homestarrunner.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(123)
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Fox Sports calls Randy Moss disgraceful and classless. Next up, "Who's Your Daddy," followed by "The Swan" and "Changing Spouses"
source: msn.foxsports.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(325)
 
(Iwon)
 
 
 
Neither rain nor snow nor dead of night will keep Royal Mail from delivering packages. Unless postmaster mistakes Ascension Island with Asuncion, Paraguay
source: reuters.iwon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(21)
 
(Evening News24)
 
 
 
Woman shocked to discover reality TV show portrayed her as a sexual deviant
source: eveningnews24.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(68)
 
(CATO Institute)
 
 
 
"..tsunami that slammed the Asian and African coastlines underscores the need to take action on global warming"
source: cato.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(272)
 
(steves-digicams.com)
 
 
 
Photoshop this ugly-ass frog
source: steves-digicams.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(134)
 
(India Daily)
 
 
 
Both China and India know about the UFO base deep inside the Himalayas
source: indiadaily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(81)
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
North Korea says long hair "consumes a great deal of nutrition" and could thus "rob the brain of energy." Would certainly explain Grateful Dead and Phish fans
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(268)
 
(WOWT)
 
 
 
Step one: Realize that dignity is overrated. Step two: Ebay face. Step three: Profit
source: wowt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(83)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Heavy snow strands hundreds near Donner Summit, including an entire Amtrak passenger train. Cafe Car chef unavailable for comment
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(81)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Rats can tell the difference between Dutch and Japanese languages, leaving us with the question: "Who cares?"
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(73)
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
In Britain, cocaine costs less than a cup of coffee
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(110)
 
(The Oregonian)
 
 
 
Remember Gallagher? Yeah, nobody else does, either. But he's pissed
source: oregonlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(350)
 
(Reno Gazette-Journal)
 
 
 
"One of the students jumped on a carcass, like he was trying to pop it. But it didn't pop, it just made squishy sounds"
source: rgj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(61)
 
(The Inquirer)
 
 
 
Creative pornographers use Mac
source: theinquirer.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(93)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Starbucks rolls out Chantico, a $3.00 hot chocolate steamed with cocoa butter and whole milk. Obesity ensues
source: money.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(124)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this lonely snow walker
source: weareacamera.ilovegames.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(88)
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
"Canathon" set to show off some of the largest collections of beer cans
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(27)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Dinosaur footprints found by I-95 in Maryland. Dinosaur said to be visiting some friends at Baltimore Aquarium
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(49)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Kiss-and-tell Gene Simmons getting sued by former groupie
source: story.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(110)
 
(ABC)
 
 
 
Water levels have shifted three feet after the tsunami. In Virginia
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(81)
 
(IndyStar)
 
 
 
The lost luggage store
source: indystar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(53)
 
(Gwinnett Daily Online)
 
 
 
Drunk man arrested for high-speed limojacking
source: gwinnettdailyonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(22)
 

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