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Sun December 12, 2004
Source     Fark Headline Comments
(RedOrbit)
 
 
 
Top 10 trends for 2005. The Flying Car still not on the list
source: redherring.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Outraged parent says to Ludacris, "Get out of my mall. Tiffany never started shiat here"
source: entertainment.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy With a Snake)
 
 
 
Amazing pics of a snake eating a pig (kinda gross)
source: kinshi.com.ar   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Australian female toll operators allowed to roll sleeves up so they do not have to expose their bras to passing motorists
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCAX)
 
 
 
Eleven-year-old boy sets up "lump of coal" stand in front of his home
source: wcax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(mLive)
 
 
 
Polka band hoping to finally win a Grammy after being nominated 18 times
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Nasa chief resigns. Says he's ready to leave "now that I got that mission patch"
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Fisherman)
 
 
 
NJ fisherman dies after hooking a bluefin tuna with a harpoon line that wrapped around his ankle and pulled him overboard
source: cbsnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
HBO insists that they don't use ad placements and that any product usage is critical to storylines
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News24)
 
 
 
Head of NASA to quit. Will leave position in T minus one week
source: news24.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Love letters attached to Romeo and Juliet's castle to be thrown away, replaced with plaster boards, video screen that displays cell-phone text messages
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Casper Tribune)
 
 
 
Colorado smokers to face 420-percent increase in cigarette taxes starting Jan. 1st, 2005, bringing prices to about $50 bucks a pack
source: casperstartribune.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Zwire)
 
 
 
Samsung cheerfully repairs returned DVD player, asks only that you take your python out of the box first
source: zwire.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(IOL.co.za)
 
 
 
Woman expecting twins delivers one baby. Doctors order emergency C-section after second one doesn't pop out. 404 error ensues
source: 212.2.162.45   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Lawnmower rebel rides to Jerusalem to get his license back
source: reuters.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Herald Tribune (SW Florida))
 
 
 
More than half-million Florida students sat in classrooms last year in front of teachers who failed the state's basic skills tests for teachers. Fark's Florida tag will be around for generations to come
source: heraldtribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Bunny)
 
 
 
Theme: Unlikely Playboy covers. (Difficulty: SFW)
source: usemycomputer.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Journal News)
 
 
 
Neighbors still trying to figure out why "nice" man suddenly freaked out last night, running up and down the halls naked, before jumping out his third-floor window
source: thejournalnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Marine sacrifices finger to save wedding ring. Doctors lose ring
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New Kerala)
 
 
 
New hybrid seeds allow farmers to grow giant vegetables like 20-foot pumpkins and two-ton green peppers
source: keralanext.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Ben Maller)
 
 
 
NFL player from Notre Dame will protest the school firing its football coach by being introduced with the high school he attended instead of the Irish
source: benmaller.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Saddam Hussein, several aides start hunger strike to protest "ill treatment"
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Nashua Telegraph)
 
 
 
Team of 12-year-olds, calling themselves "The Stephen Hawking Project," advances to national Lego championships with their Lego-bot
source: nashuatelegraph.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Pile of horse manure the size of football field on fire in Montana. Now we know where all the political ads end up after elections
source: story.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Man kills cougar with 7.5-cm knife
source: freerepublic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salt Lake Tribune)
 
 
 
This month's bills: $83 for heating, $31 for electricity, $74 for groceries... and $10 million for the fire I started (second story)
source: sltrib.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(St. Petersburg Times)
 
 
 
Just in time for church: How to spend taxpayer dollars to frighten virgins away from sex. Waiting until marriage will make you "really, truly cool in God's eyes"
source: sptimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Journal News)
 
 
 
Today's "Hey, somebody stole our pot plants" story brought to you by *cough* the Spring Valley Police Department
source: thejournalnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lycos)
 
 
 
Photoshop "that Jane Goodall tramp"
source: a1112.g.akamai.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Emediawire.com)
 
 
 
Couple returning Gisele Bundchen's stolen dog for "no questions asked $5000 reward offer" gets arrested at gunpoint, cleared and left wondering where their $5,000 is
source: emediawire.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(All Access)
 
 
 
Would-be burglers scared off by "Grand Theft Auto" video game
source: abclocal.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Anna Kournikova, victim of nipple profiling
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Matsushita oxy nickel hydroxide super batteries to be sold in the U.S. All your portable electronics are belong to us
source: story.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Japan Today)
 
 
 
Entire Portuguese government resigns (seriously)
source: japantoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
For sale: The world's first off-road motorhome
source: steelwheels4x4.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
Not only is Hollywood running out of ideas, they're also running out of ways to combat online piracy
source: seattlepi.nwsource.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
Man survives nail fired into his heart; says "Sweet. Can I go snowboarding tomorrow?"
source: seattlepi.nwsource.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MaronStar.com)
 
 
 
Seventy-year-old pulled back to active service in Afghanistan. "Getting used to wearing boots and carrying a gun is a little unusual"
source: marionstar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Michael Jackson and his accuser's fingerprints found on porno mag. Michael says, "Just beat it"
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Japan Today)
 
 
 
Fifty-four journalists killed worldwide in 2004. Convenience-store clerks not impressed
source: japantoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this holiday greeting from the President and First Lady of the University of Kentucky
source: uky.edu   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sat December 11, 2004
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Frightening lightning
source: freedominion.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Girl decapitated by kite string among seven dead at kite festival in Pakistan
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
The island of misfit toys is not the same as the museum of underappreciated games
source: reuters.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
How technology will change the media over the next 10 years
source: chalksidewalk.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New Kerala)
 
 
 
Children banned from Mary Poppins play because it depicts toys coming to life, asking where Sarah Conner is
source: newkerala.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Bowler)
 
 
 
Minnesota man bowls perfect 900 series. You probably submitted this with a better headline
source: startribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Rapid City Journal)
 
 
 
Honey plant asplodes
source: rapidcityjournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Local News)
 
 
 
Witnesses to stabbing are dropping like flies while suspect is out on bond. Hmmm...
source: ktbs.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Elmo)
 
 
 
We've seen Tickle Me Elmo, Hokey Pokey Elmo and Village People Elmo. What Elmo is in development for next year?
source: froogle.google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(QCTimes.com)
 
 
 
Hot cocoa sampler? Fark cliche invades newspaper headline
source: qctimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Pet owner under investigation for physically strangling 130-pound Rottweiler after it attacked her eight-pound Yorkshire Terrier named Candy. Your neighbors need to stop owning vicious, good-for-nothing attack dogs
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Gearhead)
 
 
 
Alton Brown, Fark's favorite TV chef, shows off his BMW motorcycle
source: roadfly.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Ten-year-old girl caught running with scissors in school. School calls cops. Handcuffedness, jailarity ensue
source: story.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Times-Union)
 
 
 
Fruitcake crusader vows to save the reputation of the reviled earth-toned loaves
source: timesunion.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
When stormtroopers go bad
source: pbase.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pravda)
 
 
 
Doctor says that having good sex helps fight the common cold. Bad sex causes future headaches
source: english.pravda.ru   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Denver Post)
 
 
 
Superintendent of schools questions the character of the teens who shared drugs or drank with his wife. He may be in denial, but that is not a firing offense
source: denverpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Seattle Times)
 
 
 
Study shows U.S. teens postponing sex, using more condoms. Also shows they're more likely to clean room, listen to Perry Como and look after the Beaver
source: seattletimes.nwsource.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Florida Today)
 
 
 
What could go wrong when you strap three heavy rockets together? We will find out today
source: floridatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Sun-Times)
 
 
 
Mayor Daley removes city tax on beer, greatly pleasing certain fans of a certain team from a city that starts with a C, ends with an O and has HICAG in the middle
source: suntimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mississippi Ledger)
 
 
 
Woman feels really bad that her purse accidentally shot a high school student
source: clarionledger.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Google)
 
 
 
Theme: Design disguises for Americans traveling abroad to hide their "Americaness"
source: google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Bigger Boat)
 
 
 
Nova Scotia fishermen catch a shark that would make Quint crap his pants (pic goodness)
source: lostenterprises.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(InfoWeek)
 
 
 
Penn State tells 80,000 students to "chuck Internet Explorer, use Firefox, Mozilla, Opera or Safari instead"
source: informationweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Police raid wedding reception, confiscate gifts for back child support
source: reuters.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Lush)
 
 
 
Humanitarian crisis looms over Lithuania as police shut down three-kilometre-long vodka pipeline from Belarus. Thousands of Lithuanians in danger of sobering up
source: theaustralian.news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(DWLB)
 
 
 
Sci-fi vending machines
source: okstate.edu   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Archeologists unearth ancient ivory flute in German cave. Not having a bard in their party, have no way to tell if it's cursed or not
source: story.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Wearing your Livestrong bracelet to the hospital could earn you a free piece of toe jewelery
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sky.com)
 
 
 
Christmas isn't Christmas without 4,200 Santas kicking each other's ass in a drunken brawl
source: sky.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsday)
 
 
 
Wal-Mart sued over one instance of f-word on album for sale in stores. Personal responsibility curls up, dies and is blown away in the wind
source: newsday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Independent)
 
 
 
Mormons who borrowed $18 million, convinced the world was ending, surprised to discover they have to pay the money back when prediction didn't come true
source: news.independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Local6)
 
 
 
Fuel truck driver accidentally fills kerosene tank with gasoline. Gas station sells "kerosene" all day long before anybody notices
source: local6.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Woman goes "absolutely ballistic" after discovering a group of men digging a mass grave in her backyard
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Student accused of eating roll-call list after cutting in line to get Cotton Bowl tickets
source: kbtx.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Fri December 10, 2004
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Kerik withdraws nomination to head Department of Homeland Security
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Secular Web)
 
 
 
Antony Flew, the atheist that changed his mind at 81, still an atheist. Has however changed his position on Santa Claus
source: secweb.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Talking Houses all the rage in the real estate world. Dave Byrne wanted for questioning
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Powerline)
 
 
 
The Hummer armor bottleneck is not vehicle assembly, it's ceramic armor production capacity
source: powerlineblog.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(C|Net)
 
 
 
Research discovers more cell phones destroyed by tight pants than by snow or throwing it to the ground in a rage
source: news.com.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(femalefirst)
 
 
 
Flight attendants ask Britney Spears to cover stinky, stinky feet. Still trying to collect enough Febreze for her career
source: femalefirst.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Robot)
 
 
 
Make rap song using a "text to speech" application
source: bell-labs.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Britain's Royal Society for the Prevention of Accidents wants you to keep your ass off of the copy machine
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this Farker's old college professer next to this giant farkin' ant hill in Africa
source: murphdogg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Congress appropriates money to buy back the presidential yacht. No word on if the money is to come from Social Security, Pell Grants or Middle Eastern colonies
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WISTV)
 
 
 
♫ On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to meeeee... 5800 holiday-related injurieeees ♫
source: wistv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Damageplan shooter claimed lyrics were stolen and wanted to sue band, but settled for shooting them instead
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Aftenposten.no)
 
 
 
Norway storing tons of nuclear waste behind a garage door in the middle of a city. But they do plan to do something about it in a few years
source: aftenposten.no   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Edmonton Sun)
 
 
 
The trials and tribulations of a shopping-mall Santa
source: canoe.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CP24)
 
NewsFlash
 
Today's school shooting brought to you by Brampton, Canada. Yes, Canada
source: pulse24.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Reminder: Chicago Fark Party tonight at Jak's Tap
source: jakstap.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kentucky Post)
 
 
 
Shoe-store surveillance tape shows man "urinating on the shoes in a manner as to urinate on as many shoes as he could." If this were not enough, Covington police also searching for a flasher at large
source: kypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Drunken soldier tries to get back to his barracks dressed as suicide bomber. Almost succeeds in becoming one
source: story.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Herald Tribune (SW Florida))
 
 
 
O'Reilly, Florida judge go nose to nose: "Somebody who sexually harasses women and then pays millions of dollars in a settlement to get out of it has no place criticizing me"
source: heraldtribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP)
 
 
 
After many long hours of deliberation, OPEC decides once again to give western world the bird
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsfilter.org)
 
Boobies
 
The lovely, talented and sometimes naked Naomi Watts (not safe for work)
source: newsfilter.org
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Burger King manager fires employee after she refuses to give back the 10-foot-tall SpongeBob balloon he gave to her
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Vegan)
 
 
 
Today's "posting of Lukket's Fark Photoshop by someone believing it to be true" story brought to you by Moby
source: moby.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Scientists find off-switch for tuberculosis. Still no cure for cancer, but this ain't too bad
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Iwon)
 
 
 
Vatican not amused with Italian school substituting Nativity play with Little Red Riding Hood. Doesn't care if Muslims are offended
source: reuters.iwon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
Images of Big Foot's wedding holding up final stages of anthrax cleanup
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Mike Tyson's Desert Storm, courtesy of TSG
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Inquirer)
 
 
 
One of five Britons buy their software via spam. In other news, BriT0n5 Ar3 teh No0B5..11..
source: theinquirer.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop TFer AnthraxRipple and this airplane
source: photodump.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Sun-Times)
 
 
 
Radio host sponsors cigarette collection drive for soldiers, has over 5000 packs donated by listeners. American Lung Association not pleased
source: suntimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Scotsman)
 
 
 
Cooking-show host calls another cooking show host a "whore" for marketing -- gasp -- farmed salmon
source: news.scotsman.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Homeowner annoyed at letter from energy company that begins "Dear Paranoid Fool..."
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(FunReports)
 
 
 
Fed-up residents drop a sink from a high-rise apartment block on a car to shut the alarm up
source: funreports.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Single-engine plane loses power, lands atop 18-wheeler, then crashes upside down on highway. Unhurt, occupants leap out of vehicles and yell "Taaa-daaah!"
source: cbsnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
Fark's favorite Powerball winner in the news yet again, this time on a much sadder note: His granddaughter is missing
source: seattlepi.nwsource.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Ten bands who never recovered from releasing a Christmas single
source: guardian.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
James Brown has prostate cancer; said not to be feeling so good after prostate exam
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Emotional vigil for Dimebag Darrel. The crowd yelled out, "We got your bond, dude" as the streaker was led off in handcuffs
source: story.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Keifer Sutherland's grandfather beats out Wayne Gretzky and that bitch Anne Murray, too, for title of "Greatest Canadian"
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
"So tell me, what is this 'anime' you speak of? For I have been on Mars for the last decade, in a cave, with my eyes shut and my fingers in my ears." Mass media "discovers" something else we've all known about for years
source: story.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
If you haven't gotten your kid an XBox, PS2 or a Nintendo DS yet, your kid will be opening a big box of SOL this Christmas
source: money.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
George Carlin explains his Vegas tirade, blames nut-scratchers
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
American flights to Vietnam resume after 30 years
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Icy planetoid beyong Pluto has mysterious internal heat source, possible alien civilization
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mainichi Daily News)
 
 
 
Elderly man agrees to give up driving after one last cruise, promptly enters wrong lane of freeway and causes three-car accident
source: mdn.mainichi.co.jp   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Excite)
 
 
 
Inmate assaults another inmate with a porkchop. No word yet on whether it came with a side of tossed salad
source: apnews.excite.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Photoshop Adam Levine of Maroon 5 looking a lot like Chris Burke
source: us.news2.yimg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News-Messenger)
 
 
 
Emulating their favorite players, high school basketball players jump into stands and start throwing punches
source: thenews-messenger.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WRAL.com)
 
 
 
Old man "escapes" from nursing home (pic)
source: wral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZCentral)
 
 
 
The wife of yesterday's dead car-surfer says he may have done it because of a brain parasite he got on a trip to Mexico
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Thu December 09, 2004
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
Mel Gibson buys a Pacific island. Asks Japan to be all moved out by Monday
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Psychiatrist pays parking ticket with money smeared with fecal matter
source: story.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Sparks Tribune)
 
 
 
If you plan on hiding in the women's locker room, shave your feet
source: charlotte.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TheInquirer)
 
 
 
Doctors will soon be playing Pac-Man in your butt
source: theinquirer.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Space station food running low, crew forced to tighten belt. Russia promised to send some, but they were probably drunk and don't remember
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Hippo that escaped after thieves tore down fencing (see Fark 02/04) finally captured
source: story.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NCBuy)
 
 
 
Yankees fan faked injury, rode around in wheelchair for four weeks, lost his girlfriend just so he could watch Game 7 of the 2003 ALCS
source: ncbuy.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Globe and Mail)
 
 
 
Airport officials launch massive probe into tiny toilets
source: theglobeandmail.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oregon Live)
 
 
 
One man's burger is another man's elephant's foot
source: oregonlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Famous atheist now believes in God. Still undecided on Easter Bunny, Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy
source: story.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(channel3000)
 
 
 
Brett Favre shaves his own head to support wife currently undergoing chemotherapy
source: channel3000.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Popular Mechanics)
 
 
 
Lukket's "1954 computer" Fark Photoshop that's caused an Internet sensation is featured in Popular Mechanics
source: popularmechanics.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Marine originally thought kidnapped, not kidnapped, beheaded, not beheaded, deserted, not deserted, is now being charged with desertion
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WPVI.com)
 
 
 
Do not taunt Whiplash the Rodeo Monkey
source: abclocal.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop something that might be on really thin ice these days. Difficulty: No political entries -- way too obvious
source: mightycranium.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Asian Sex Gazette)
 
 
 
Japan jerks its sperm banks around (site not safe for work)
source: asiansexgazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Court rejects man's application to divorce, citing his absurd marriage record
source: story.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Drunken Danish hecklers boo J. Lo off the stage during a performance
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Bush administration's effort to create national database of possible terrorist targets bogged down due to third-grade comprehension skills
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsday)
 
 
 
Hawks not impressed, start rebuilding nest. Snobs surrender
source: newsday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KMBC)
 
 
 
Proprieter of ice-cream shop busted for dispensing his own personal custard
source: thekansascitychannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Scotsman)
 
 
 
Experts advise Britons not to fight back against the increasing number of home invaders or they'll go to jail. In other news, it's legal to kill someone in your house in South Carolina
source: news.scotsman.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Health Central)
 
 
 
America's fat kids are not showing all the medical problems that obesity should show. Doctors are confused, parents stop worrying. Monster Burgers for the house, please.
source: healthcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Omaha.com)
 
 
 
Shoplifter gives police false name, hands over Burger King Kids Club Card as identification. He didn't have it his way, either
source: omaha.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Women deemed cleverer than men. Probably because we don't have distracting breasts that can be used to get what we want
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Tennessean)
 
 
 
Overpasses perfectly safe, says Tennessee Department of Transportation as they rush emergency repairs on 27 bridges
source: tennessean.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Armor supplier says it could boost output if Army asks for it. But they haven't
source: quote.bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(wnbc.com)
 
 
 
Old and busted: Gentleman's Clubs. New hotness: Performing Arts Centers
source: wnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Bored during Red Hot Chili Peppers' six-month hiatus, guitarist records and releases six albums
source: story.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Iowa Channel)
 
 
 
Today's "40 dogs, 16 cats, 14 chickens, seven ducks, two monkeys, four goats, two burros, a rabbit and a potbellied pig in one house" story brought to you by Des Moines, IA
source: theiowachannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(iFilm)
 
Video
 
Bill O'Reilly reads a letter from Jack Mehoffer, still awaiting comment from Mike Hunt and Heywood Jablowme
source: wvw.ifilm.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Denver Channel)
 
 
 
Olive Garden: When you're here, you're family (gets larger)
source: thedenverchannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
London Underground admits it hunts for spare parts on Ebay
source: story.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Man accused of rape, says he was sleeping, falsetto voice on phone corroborates, jury acquits
source: story.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Asian Sex Gazette)
 
 
 
Newlyweds paraded nude for not seeking parents' consent; jailarity ensues (site not safe for work)
source: asiansexgazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
New Zealand proposal: "Up-skirt" camera pervs may face some "up-the-sphincter" jail time
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
"The Beatles: Thanks to these four, Britain's high watermark of musical creativity is still considered to be pub rock made by white idiots"
source: guardian.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Infinite music quiz: Type in any band name you can think of to create a "name that tune"-style music quiz
source: chthonicionic.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Financial Times UK)
 
 
 
Japan pissed off that ashes of missing Japanese woman returned by North Korea actually consist of two other people. Oops
source: news.ft.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Amazon forest burning has made Brazil world-leading polluter. U.S. annoyed, re-doubles efforts to become No. 1 again
source: story.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Congratulations, English speakers: You are fully proficient in the offical World Language of Planet Earth. The rest of you just speakee... very... slowly...
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC4i.com)
 
 
 
At least five dead, two wounded after man takes stage at concert, starts shooting. Pantera guitarist Dimebag Darrell Abbot confirmed dead (bumped this link up the page because people were missing it)
source: nbc4i.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Herald)
 
 
 
City of Boston to allow parking tickets to be paid off with Toys For Tots of equal value
source: news.bostonherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(nydailynews.com)
 
 
 
Drunken asshat attacks a Nativity scene by throwing two magi, two sheep, and Joesph into traffic
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Contact Music.com)
 
 
 
Perhaps we've become numb when a song about transvestites on acid -- featuring a music video where band members are spanked and ridden by midgets -- sounds boring
source: contactmusic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
K-9 plays fetch the ball with naked suspect
source: kstp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Cops pepper-spray street-brawling Santas
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Arizona Republic)
 
 
 
"I never even thought I'd come across meeting Mike Tyson, let alone having him on top of my hood"
source: azcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Scurvy Dog)
 
 
 
Photoshop this game of Pirate Checkers
source: knownworldplayers.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Property dispute turns weird when one of the parties threatens the other's daughter with "rapist dogs"
source: in.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Year's supply of beer offered in search for missing tiger in Singapore. Drew last seen packing his bags
source: story.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Attention traveling farkers: If you're passing through ATL today, call your airline. Big delays. DIT
source: atlanta-airport.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
Highest scoring international soccer player (male or female) Mia Hamm retires from U.S. team. Hubby Nomar forced to actually earn a paycheck
source: soccernet.espn.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wired)
 
 
 
That hot laptop on your lap could have you shooting blanks
source: wired.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SanDiego UnionTribune)
 
 
 
Dom Perignon Champagne killed by gunman. Boones Farm sought for questioning
source: signonsandiego.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Why human flesh tastes like chicken. Here comes the science
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit News)
 
 
 
Co-founder of AmWay dies at 80. Everyone in the pyramid just went up a level
source: detnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Police raid brothel in deserted pig farm. Displaced swine demand thorough clean-up
source: apnews.myway.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
State and federal agriculture officials to use satellite surveillance on Brazil's citrus crop in attempt to gain competitive advantage
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Canadians depend on luck for national security
source: story.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(IOL.co.za)
 
 
 
Santa brings bags of marijuana to school children
source: iol.co.za   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
NASA's longest-serving astronaut to retire before he finds an intergalactic farmers market
source: story.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Truck driver spends a penny, wins a million bucks. ♫ Get your kicks on Route 66 ♫
source: biz.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WMTW)
 
 
 
Politicians slip some wild horse and burro meat into their steady diet of pork
source: wmtw.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Profane painting from 1628 -- showing inebriated villagers drinking, fighting, kissing, urinating, dancing, vomiting and defecating -- has been sold for $7 million. (Sadly with no pics)
source: story.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZCentral)
 
 
 
Law of gravity apparently repealed. Man falls out of Mercedes' moon roof while driving
source: azcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Arizona Star)
 
 
 
Woman's house catches on fire, tells firefighters she has three babies inside. Firefighters risk lives to find out "babies" meant "cats." Fire chief not amused
source: dailystar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Sparrows learn entire songs from snippets, still unable to decipher lyrics to "Louie Louie"
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this pick-up artist
source: lasersoft.com.pl   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sports by Brooks)
 
 
 
Locked-out NHL stars, Tara Reid, and Kid Rock crash Univ. of Michigan house party
source: sportsbybrooks.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Wed December 08, 2004
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Man assults clerk with burger. Apparently you can't have it your way
source: story.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(DeansPlanet)
 
Boobies
 
Charlotte Church decides to just say hello by showing us her boobies. Probably not safe for work
source: deansplanet.com
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Honestly officer, I'm a midget, not a 10-year-old boy driving a stolen furniture truck on the highway
source: story.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Man says lost city of Atlantis was never lost -- it's actually in Tampa, Florida
source: biz.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Crowds, a book and TV show attest to the impressive spectacle of red-tailed hawks nesting in midtown Manhattan. Snobs not impressed, have nest torn down
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tonganoxie Mirror)
 
 
 
TV news crew shocked that fertilizer business sells fertilizer, buys some, then dishes out some of their own
source: tonganoxiemirror.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Court TV)
 
 
 
Florida police launch "Operation Grinch Who Stole Christmas," make deadbeat dads pay up so kids can have a happy holidays
source: story.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News24)
 
 
 
Lottery winner turns to crime after depleting his winnings
source: news24.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Globe and Mail)
 
 
 
Researchers invent cell phone that would only need to be charged once a year. Can't be released until they can all agree on which annoying ringtone it should use
source: theglobeandmail.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(C|Net)
 
 
 
Scott McNealy the latest victim of Fark's U.S. Navy photograph photoshop contest
source: news.com.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Oh, the humanity
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Duluth Superior)
 
 
 
Thieves steal 300-pound safe without anyone noticing
source: duluthsuperior.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Government won't admit the "Whale" is an alien spaceship
source: story.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Man discovers he has two-inch nail embedded in his skull after four years of headaches
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Collection of weird fortune-cookie fortunes. That wasn't chicken
source: weirdfortunecookies.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Green Forest Tribune)
 
 
 
Make sure you get your kid what he wants for Christmas, otherwise he may cut off your head with a butcher knife
source: greenforesttribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oregon Daily Emerald)
 
 
 
University of Oregon columnist would be excellent student, if it weren't for those stupid grades, exams, quizzes and projects
source: dailyemerald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Town replaces annual 20-foot Christmas tree with a four-foot potted plant
source: apnews.myway.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this sap sip
source: lasersoft.com.pl   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AFP)
 
 
 
British department store Marks and Spencer creates in-store playpen for husbands while wives are Christmas shopping
source: story.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gazette.net)
 
 
 
Students wonder what the big deal was over "controversial" condom video shown to select health-ed classes. Opinions ranged from "It was so boring" to "I didn't like that they used a cucumber"
source: gazette.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Canada.com)
 
 
 
Nudism is fastest growing sector of Canadian tourism
source: canada.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Scotsman)
 
 
 
Man invents pan that detects when a boilover is about to occur, instructs stove to turn down heat, find Sarah Conner
source: news.scotsman.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
World's largest snowball fight approved. Bonus fruitcake fling promises to pollute lake in a heavy way
source: suburbanchicagonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Defense Tech)
 
 
 
The navy really does want sharks with friggin' lasers on their head
source: defensetech.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Weekly World News)
 
 
 
Top meteorologists conclude that thunder is the sound of fat people doing jumping jacks
source: weeklyworldnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
Scientists study Vinland map to see whether it's an authentic pre-Columbus chart of North America's coast, or a modern fraud. The fact that it shows the location of every Tim Horton's donut shop in Nova Scotia should be a dead giveaway
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Dick Clark hospitalized for stroke
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
Tribal leader says some "hobbits" still exist. He knows because his village captured one
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(GovExec.com)
 
 
 
USDA Headquarters closed after someone stabbed a janitor. Victim is reported to be in stable condition, Grade B
source: govexec.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
As if he wasn't strange enough in life, ODB's autopsy reveals a white plastic bag full of cocaine in his stomach
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ICNetwork)
 
 
 
Shoplifter stuffs four lamb joints, three chickens, stock cubes, two kilos of fruit, chillies, burgers, garlic, peppers, socks and a pair of underpants down her dress -- then claims it is her people's custom to take things and pay later (with pic)
source: icnorthwales.icnetwork.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(FunReports)
 
 
 
Man enters bathroom fixtures store and drops two things: First his trousers, then a deuce
source: funreports.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(wsoctv.com)
 
 
 
Parents go on strike from rotten kids. Pitch tent, move into front yard as protest
source: wsoctv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Hernando Today)
 
 
 
Suspect fights off five police officers, is not slowed down by a full can of pepper spray to the eyes, multiple taserings or attacking police dogs. Afterwards, says he might have smoked PCP, but he isn't sure
source: hernandotoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Nettavisen)
 
Boobies
 
Norwegian candidate for Miss World nude in public. (Probably not safe for work)
source: pub.tv2.no
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Gorillas hold wake for dead gorilla. Arguments over who gets the tire swing and the good china ensue
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Segment)
 
 
 
One out of four people buy broadband for porn. In other news, three out of four people lie on surveys
source: thisislondon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Helium Talker)
 
 
 
Photoshop this cluster balloonist launching from atop a regular hot-air balloon
source: clusterballoon.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Drug company rethinks "Immaculate Contraception" ad campaign for morning-after birth control pill
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC13.com)
 
 
 
When you want to set fire to an ATM with a lighted cigarette in a deposit slip, don't look at the camera and don't use your own ATM card (with pics)
source: abclocal.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Aftenposten.no)
 
 
 
Norway's massive stone phallus... er, sculpted tourist attraction... has been vandalized
source: aftenposten.no   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mainichi Daily News)
 
 
 
No point changing the headline: "Love expert fingered over breast fondling quackery"
source: mdn.mainichi.co.jp   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Local10.com)
 
 
 
Screaming motorcyclist on hood of car apparently not important enough for driver to stop
source: local10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ICNetwork)
 
 
 
Roadside billboard featuring naked woman on all fours considered potential driving risk (w/pic potentially NSFW)
source: icbirmingham.icnetwork.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(JSOnline)
 
 
 
University of Pittsburgh linguist publishes paper on the origins of the word "dude"
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Olympian)
 
 
 
Heavy metal causes cataracts. Country can lead to neck rashes
source: theolympian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Herald)
 
 
 
Naked woman insists she's Jesus
source: sun-herald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Denver Post)
 
 
 
Miami Dolphins receiver David Boston arrested at Burlington International Airport. Punching female gate agents in face not OK
source: denverpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Soldiers get some face time with Rumsfeld, ask him why they have to dig through dumps to find their own vehicle armor
source: story.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Marshfield News)
 
 
 
Local cops stand behind tasers. Mainly because it's damn painful to stand in front of them
source: wisinfo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
O Penis Tree, O Penis Tree. You give Tuscans so much pleasure
source: story.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Church officials not amused by Nativity tableau depicting David Beckham as Joseph and wife Victoria as the Virgin Mary. Having Tony Blair, George W. Bush and the Duke of Edinburgh as The Three Wise Men not going over well either
source: edition.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AFP)
 
 
 
Study concludes beloved comicbook character Tintin suffered from hormone deficiency and concussions
source: story.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop Farker test-driving a Segway. Difficulty: Somehow robbing him of even more dignity
source: homepage.mac.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Philadelphia city councilman proposes a bill that would fine parents who bring their crying, loudass, annoying babies to movie theaters
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Canoe)
 
 
 
Not to be outdone by the UK, Canada's sex-ed classes feature porn sites
source: cnews.canoe.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Herald Tribune (SW Florida))
 
 
 
New worries for OPEC: Oversupply. Yeah, O-V-E-R-S-U-P-P-L-Y
source: iht.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(A Chicago TFer)
 
 
 
A friendly reminder... Chicago Fark Party this Friday, December 10th, at Jaks Tap
source: jakstap.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Omaha World Herald)
 
 
 
What do you think this woman is saying to the nice, big, very tall officer?
source: omaha.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Somebody stole 14,000 cases of Miller Lite in Indy
source: story.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Tue December 07, 2004
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Sprewell suspended for comments to female heckler. Later plans to open for George Carlin in Vegas
source: msn.foxsports.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(In-Forum)
 
 
 
When getting a Rolex watch appraised, make sure the appraiser isn't the one you stole it from
source: in-forum.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(HeraldSun.com)
 
 
 
Bob Barker donates $1 million to have Duke spayed and neutered. Duke still sucks
source: heraldsun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Astronut!)
 
 
 
From the "What Could Possibly Go Wrong?" file: The shuttle may go into space without repair kit
source: astronomy.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Canada.com)
 
 
 
Human skull in handbag found by woman at bus stop
source: snipurl.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AFP)
 
 
 
Cops unimpressed by herds of rent-a-protesters
source: story.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MedicalNewsToday)
 
 
 
British schools try to demystify sex by giving kids porn
source: medicalnewstoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
New York City bogarting nation's flu vaccines
source: abclocal.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Eight-year-old girl suspended after attempting to sell Jell-O shots at school
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
TV exec discovers what we already knew: That nobody watches golf because it's boring as hell
source: foxsports.news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this horny animal
source: bigfoto.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
In wake of BALCO scandal, record for home runs in one year reset to 49
source: sports.espn.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
Nomar Garciaparra lands one-year contract for $8 million, which is $40 million less than the offer he turned down from the (world champion) Red Sox last year
source: sports.espn.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mainichi Daily News)
 
 
 
Japan's biggest export after cars that don't suck is women who do
source: mdn.mainichi.co.jp   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Bay Area city councilman ticketed for having a girly-man car
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Archaelogists uncover world's oldest backgammon set, still unsure of what that weird "doubling cube" is for
source: story.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
The first stop is in Bogota / to check the Colombian fields / giant plants resist herbicides / eight times more coke they yield
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Apparently, Pittsburgh is just one big urinal. "Potty Police" aren't going to take it anymore
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Two thousand years ago, Iranian women could be great warriors. Today, after centuries of religious enlightnment, they can't even attend a soccer game
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
Detroit Tigers outfielder (2004 salary: $335,000) arrested for shoplifting $30 belt
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Bush and new head of Homeland Security share ideas on fiscal policy
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(FemaleFirst.co.uk)
 
 
 
John Lennon saw aliens while in bed with Yoko Ono. Later, she put her clothes back on
source: femalefirst.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(sbsun.com)
 
 
 
John Finn, 95, the sole surviving Pearl Harbor Medal of Honor recipient, talks about shooting a .50 caliber at Zeroes 63 years ago
source: sbsun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Herald Tribune (SW Florida))
 
 
 
Fat Americans break ship. "We have 10 restaurants on board, so if they are big when they get on, they tend to be bigger when they get off"
source: heraldsun.news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Scotsman)
 
 
 
Rescue teams called out to help parachutist ditching into the sea. Rescue squad arrives to discover it's only an action figure
source: news.scotsman.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(JSOnline)
 
 
 
Jimmy Carter's grandson has been accused of burglary; says it was just that damned killer rabbit again
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Man wants to build 20-foot Jawa sandcrawler model. The Empire... er township council... might not let him because it "might not fit in architecturally"
source: abclocal.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Local6)
 
 
 
Urine samples stolen from court building. Police resort to having to tell suspects: "Urine trouble"
source: local6.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Sixteen-year-old is the youngest ever U.S. chess grandmaster, which should soothe his ego as he faces years of not getting laid
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Denver Channel)
 
 
 
Company touting its clever and never-before-thought-of idea of Americans pretending they're Canadian when they travel abroad
source: thedenverchannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ClickOnDetroit.com)
 
 
 
Telemarketer sends threatening letter after woman hangs up on him
source: thekansascitychannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsday)
 
 
 
Stowaway, who shipped himself via packing crate, confined to yet another small space
source: newsday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Local6)
 
 
 
Food Bank receives the spirit of Christmas toking with latest shipment of watermelons
source: local6.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
South Korea renames condom because half of country had similar sounding name
source: story.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pravda)
 
 
 
American taxpayers unaware of conspiracies of the scientific world
source: english.pravda.ru   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fosters Online)
 
 
 
Highschoolers want to read Catcher in the Rye, arguing they already drink, smoke, and have sex
source: www4.fosters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lancaster Online)
 
 
 
Like many other bad ideas that seem good at the time, do not record your roommate in the nude without his permission
source: lancasteronline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(pittsburghlive.com)
 
 
 
University reproductive biologists clone monkey embryos hoping one will grow up to coach Notre Dame
source: pittsburghlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chillicothe Gazette)
 
 
 
Man attempts suicide by turning on the natural gas in his house. Fails to commit suicide, but successfully blows his house up in spectacular fashion
source: chillicothegazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salt Lake Tribune)
 
 
 
After buying 50 brand-new police cruisers, city council waffles on whether to approve budget to recruit actual police officers to drive them
source: sltrib.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Philly Burbs)
 
 
 
Man is arrested for having a lateral monopoly. Selling marijuana through his aptly named pizza shop, "Munchies"
source: phillyburbs.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WOAI)
 
 
 
Small town declares floating Jesus Christ as "surplus property"
source: woai.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Denver Post)
 
 
 
Amputees hit the slopes, mostly with their faces and rear ends
source: denverpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Press and Sun Bulletin)
 
 
 
Man who coated hotel room with Vaseline slips out of jail time, sentenced to three years probation
source: pressconnects.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Discovery Channel)
 
 
 
Scientists train giant African rats to detect land mines. Reportedly go "BOOM" when one is found
source: animal.discovery.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Do Not Eat)
 
 
 
Photoshop products being used in direct defiance of the manufacturer's warning label
source: images.google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Scotsman)
 
 
 
Hometown of Miss Universe winner has stopped erecting congratulatory signs because they're stolen as fast as they're put up
source: news.scotsman.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NCBuy)
 
 
 
Most dubious news stories of 2004
source: ncbuy.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Local10.com)
 
 
 
Online university sued after awarding business degree to cat. Cat insists degree was earned fairly
source: local10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
George Carlin unloads on audience and the stupidity of Vegas tourists on his last night ever at MGM Grand
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NCBuy)
 
 
 
New study shows how to make consumers shop until they drop
source: ncbuy.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ICNetwork)
 
 
 
Wales releases five best TV license evasion excuses: "The TV is to keep the cat warm -- we don't watch it"
source: icwales.icnetwork.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Iwon)
 
 
 
Motley Crue to reunite for world tour, new CD. Rumors that tour will be sponsored by Geritol and Fibercon unconfirmed
source: apnews1.iwon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
AudioEdit "twas the night before Farkmas"
source: google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Dirt Dogs)
 
 
 
For the deluded Yankees fan who has everything, get your New York Yankees 2004 Al Champs sweatshirt
source: bostondirtdogs.boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Opportunity to participate in the search for Amelia Earhart to be auctioned off on Ebay
source: biz.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this Afghan officer auditioning for Karate Kid IV
source: wtimg.us.publicus.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Weekly World News)
 
 
 
Salma Hayek's breasts considered sacred by Mandinka tribe of Africa
source: snipurl.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Online casino buys "ghost cane" for $65,000 -- to be placed next to famed grilled cheese
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mustard Man)
 
 
 
Fark Party, Toronto, December 18th. Nug/Mustard Man and sketch troupe Minnesota Wrecking Crew LIVE at Second City. (Scroll down for listing)
source: secondcity.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(E! online)
 
 
 
Paris Hilton arrives at Hollywood producer's party to find guests viewing her homemade porn (second story)
source: eonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Mon December 06, 2004
(Detroit News)
 
 
 
Today's "teacher having lesbian sex with 14-year-old student with whom she performed witchcraft and then 'wed' in a pagan ritual" story brought to you by Detroit, MI. (Very scary pic included)
source: detnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(bordermail.com.au)
 
 
 
Pepper spray cannot stop invincible naked man
source: bordermail.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lunton Daily Citizen)
 
 
 
If you're going to pass out in the wrong house, at least keep your underwear on
source: dailycitizen.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Leonardo DiCaprios' line from Titanic, "I'm the king of the world," voted cheesiest movie line
source: story.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Herald Tribune (SW Florida))
 
 
 
The Internet bubble didn't die, it just moved to China
source: iht.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Guy and his friends park SUV on Sunset Beach. After high tide and a few beers, hilarity ensues (pic)
source: abclocal.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegram)
 
 
 
Photoshop this huskie. Mush. Mush.
source: wtimg.us.publicus.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(human events)
 
 
 
Calling $100,000 grant to Groundhog Punxsutawney Phil "pork funding" only serves to undermine his credibility
source: humaneventsonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
Great moments in asshat history: Senator Ted Kennedy proposes $3.5 million project to pay tribute to... himself
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Having not passed the intelligence reform bill after 9/11, politicians give MLB just 30 days to clean up their act on steroids
source: story.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Looking for new ways to annoy the neighbors? How about three million Christmas lights visible from 80 miles away?
source: story.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Classic "educational" flimstrips remain hilarious today
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Intelgents bill impasse fixd, we all now get smarter
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fosters)
 
 
 
Today's "man tries to outrun police on riding lawnmower" story brought to you by Dover, NH, with added Molotov cocktail goodness
source: fosters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Greek lawyers -- who were going to sue Oliver Stone for making Alexander the Great look so gay -- are dropping the case after seeing the film, stating that the flick "is just not worth it"
source: story.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cleveland Plain Dealer)
 
 
 
Officials defend Ohio rank as top Amber Alert issuer. In other news, WOLF
source: cleveland.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Rosa Parks is stirring up trouble again, this time refusing to pay rent
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(National Review Online)
 
 
 
Amusing excerpts from the guestbook at the Clinton Double-Wide Library
source: nationalreview.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Since the chances of having any NHL hockey this season aren't too good, Canadian amateur players want a shot at the Stanley Cup
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
In sworn affidavit, programmer says he developed vote-rigging prototype for Florida congressman
source: bluelemur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Bob Denver to play a West Virginian Santa Claus in a Toys for Tots campaign
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(VOA)
 
 
 
The militants walked in for Jeddah jazz. I said, he ain't here, but he sure went past. Oh, you're looking for Jeddah jazz
source: voanews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Media Week)
 
 
 
99.8 percent of all FCC complaints were filed by the Parents Television Council
source: mediaweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this Farkette's pirate boss, ar
source: img.fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(eBay)
 
 
 
For sale to Central Kentucky Farkers: the use of one slightly-used radio morning show stunt boy. Some assembly may be required
source: cgi.ebay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Denver Channel)
 
 
 
City hires private firm to determine why their lovely scenic town smells like ass
source: thedenverchannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Ben Maller)
 
 
 
NBA bad boy Latrell Sprewell responds to female heckler by asking her to perfom sex act. Courtside mic picks up his FCC violation on live TV
source: benmaller.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Exercise has no real health benefits for some people, most of whom will inevitably comment in this thread
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News24)
 
 
 
Kelly Osbourne says she only plays fat on TV. Also, Ozzy is actually charter member of MENSA
source: news24.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SacBee)
 
 
 
City sanitation workers rack up more than $7000 worth of personal calls on city-issued cell phones Will keep jobs because they weren't told in advance that it violated city policy
source: sacbee.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Mirror)
 
 
 
There are scary things in peoples' attics. In this case, it's a huge melting chunk of airline poo ice
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chartattack)
 
 
 
World's Largest Poutine to be constructed on December 11th in Toronto
source: chartattack.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Denver Post)
 
 
 
New literacy program has kids reading to dogs. Dogs apparently appalled at the ending of "Old Yeller"
source: denverpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ZDNet UK)
 
 
 
Thai government's "peace birds" are less than completely effective. Responses range from murder to arson
source: thestar.com.my   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Nativity plays boost sales of tea towels and hay-fever medicine
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(des moines register)
 
 
 
Police find man stumbling around street, discover he had consumed two entire bottles of mouthwash. "He was friendly and cooperative, just not doing so well walking. He had good breath, though"
source: desmoinesregister.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(M90.org)
 
Boobies
 
She sucks at tennis, but Anna K. sure can wear the hell out of a bikini (safe for work)
source: m90.org
 
(LancasterOnline.com)
 
 
 
Coming soon to dozens of military bases around the country: Radio signals strong enough to jam nearby garage-door openers
source: lancasteronline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Talk-show host has the solution to the BCS mess. Claims he'll fix electoral college, deal with the FCC and cure cancer sometime later
source: bcssolution.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter