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Sat December 16, 2017
Source     Fark Headline Comments
(UPI)
 
 
 
Yee-haw, let's go tree huntin'
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
That's not a speed bump - THIS is a speed bump
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Cell phones, which were considered dangerous, then safe to use, are once again dangerous according to state that puts carcinogenic labels on everything
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
Meanwhile, in Detroit
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Live Science)
 
 
 
Younglings, if you suck at dating, the problem is not you. It's evolution. ..and the fact that you have no communication skills
source: livescience.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Atlanta)
 
 
 
Sorry, mayor. Can't give you the keys to the mayor's office. Maybe you should have thought about that before being black
source: atlanta.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(DW)
 
 
 
Now that's what I call pennies from heaven
source: dw.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
The Salvation Army has received far less donations than they normally do. Guess people aren't living in Generous City anymore
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(FB Photos)
 
 
 
Photoshop this FABULOUS hair
source: scontent-atl3-1.xx.fbcdn.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Independent)
 
Weeners
 
BBC embarrassed after airing footage of man at concert waving a BBC in the air (not safe for work)
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Yeah, humans are gross on the Internets. REALLY gross. Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Modern Metropolis)
 
 
 
Eye see it's time for Caturday
source: mymodernmet.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
Take a break from your troubles and stress and enjoy the winners of the 2017 Comedy Wildlife Photography Awards
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
They are called the GREEN Berets for a reason
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTLA Los Angeles)
 
 
 
See with your eyes not your ha... Oh
source: ktla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salt Lake Tribune)
 
 
 
"County commissioner accused of sexual harassment was previously investigated for spanking female students while he was a high school club adviser"
source: sltrib.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Looks like you women were wrong. Reports of sexual harrassment at Fox News were "nonsense" according to Rupert Murdoch. It was just some flirting
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Record)
 
 
 
Shouldn't tap that
source: dailyrecord.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lacrosse Tribune)
 
 
 
And your mom wasn't mentioned once
source: lacrossetribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Poughkeepsie Journal)
 
 
 
City transit systems channel Douglas Adams, say they love the sound of missed safety deadlines as they go whooshing by
source: poughkeepsiejournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Guy doesn't like that his girlfriend is a stripper so he. A) Helps her find a new job. B) Offers to pay her way. C) Torches the club she works for
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Fri December 15, 2017
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Doctor helps former patient deliver baby at gas station. Parents to name the child Ethel
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
Best Korea unveils its new domestic streaming video app. Sit down with the family and catch up on past seasons of "The Walking Kims", "Better Call Un" and "Gilmore Traffic girls"
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
Slovenia, Slovakia, Whatever
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Ib Melchior, call your office
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Study shows ketamine relieves suicidal thoughts, increases urge to make love to the giant marshmallow outside your RV
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KIRO-7 Seattle)
 
 
 
Stolen $10K Louis Vuitton purse returned with apology note, possibly as thief refuses to be seen in public with anything other than Hermès or Chanel, you unsophisticated barbarians
source: kiro7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New Zealand Herald)
 
 
 
Spinal Tap needs a new drummer
source: nzherald.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Scotland's booze is going up in price--by a lot
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Hey did you just fart or is there a dead mouse in my dashboard?
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AOL)
 
 
 
*Beedle-oop* *door slam*
source: help.aol.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wordpress)
 
 
 
Photoshop these cold and lonely explorers
source: etenews.files.wordpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NW Florida Daily News)
 
 
 
Mysterious grass-covered man hides in bathroom at senior citizen center prepping for new season of American Horror Stories audition
source: nwfdailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTVH Helena)
 
 
 
"Butte porch pirate caught on video"
source: ktvh.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
Ambulance use drops as Uber popularity grows, study finds
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Scientist claims we'll stop drinking alcohol and deleting Politics tabs within a generation
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Edge (Ireland))
 
 
 
Pub in Galway, Ireland looking for the strong woman who yanked one of their steel bollards straight out of the ground. Warn that she should be approached with caution as she may yank your bollard too
source: dailyedge.ie   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Can we haz caption contest?
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
When performing surgery it is important for the patient to be sedated. The anesthesiologist, not so much
source: abc7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Gee, its almost as if kids were only smoking pot because it ticked off their parents
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
Workers at hip club and pizza shop found to be workers at hep club and pizza shop
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Photoshop evidence of aliens for the scientists to find
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(RTE Ireland)
 
 
 
No longer news: Two men get married in Ireland. Fark: neither is gay
source: rte.ie   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Actual headline: Pensioner tries to batter cock after it kept him up all night
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Eater)
 
 
 
Why Americans don't eat horse meat like many other cultures
source: eater.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(US Naval Institute)
 
 
 
Battle flags captured during the obscure Korean-American war of 1871 discovered hidden at U.S. Naval Academy. Americans may have forgotten about the war but:North Korea claims it was started by Kim Jong Un's great great grandfather
source: news.usni.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Oh, the huge irony
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
NewsFlash
 
Strong quake hits Java - deaths, collapsed buildings, tsunami warning
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
This is technically a repeat, but the BBC has put their "Booze Nationality" test on their main page again
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Arrrrrrrrrrrh mateys, lets board this new 200ft super yacht that's modelled on a 17th century pirate ship and commandeer some dingys
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Komo)
 
 
 
Woman who survived horrific crash believes God spared her life. Of course, logically, we must now infer that God killed the other woman who died in it
source: komonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Action News Jacksonville)
 
 
 
Today's Fark-ready headline: Man stranded on lake fountain after stolen swan boat drifts away
source: actionnewsjax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Talk Radio (UK))
 
 
 
Prince Harry has organised his wedding on the same day as British soccer's cup final. This news has gone down as well as you might expect
source: talkradio.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
If only we could have known the New Mexico school shooter, who went by the online aliases "Adam Lanza" and "Future Mass Shooter," would become a killer
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Star Wars Spoilers Reminder: A reminder about spoilers. Spoiler alert: they're not cool
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
People in Abilene, Kansas can breathe a sigh of relief as a bear associated with a candy factory there has been found
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Damn near killed 'em
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop her giving a good paddling
source: i.ytimg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 17 Grand Rapids)
 
 
 
UberEATS now delivers from McDonald's, since your Uber driver already makes those fries while working his other job
source: fox17online.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Nola.com)
 
 
 
Victoria's Secret robbers used stun guns, mace, got away with $1500 in merchandise. What's that, like five thongs?
source: nola.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Why Millennials are facing the scariest financial future of any generation since the Great Depression (Warning: the first page might give you a seizure, scrolling through the article may give you finger cramps)
source: highline.huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(National Post)
 
 
 
Canadian politician wants to treat ordinary innocent people who put peanut butter on their genitals in the general vicinity of a golden retriever the same as criminals who have intercourse with dogs
source: nationalpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Special Broadcasting Service)
 
 
 
Australia's wide ranging inquiry into institutional child sex abuse has recommended that Catholic priests be allowed to have more sex. Perhaps without the kids this time
source: sbs.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
TD: "After 10 months, do you really need your $846,000? Sorry about that, it's released. We cool?" Herbert: "I'm driving as fast as I can"
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vox)
 
 
 
In 5 years since Sandy Hook: 1,576 mass shootings; 1,788 people (at least) killed in those shootings; 6,333 wounded (at least) in those shootings. Less than 1% of our population. Sorry you got killed Aunt Bertha but you're just 1 person
source: vox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TreeHugger)
 
 
 
Elon Musk dislikes public transportation because it doesn't start when you want it to start, it doesn't go where you want it to go, and there might be a serial killer standing right next to you
source: treehugger.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Good god, he's losing Fox News fans
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Amazon)
 
 
 
I'm sorry, floral what? (Possibly NSFW)
source: amazon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Lindsey Graham lays odds on all-out war with North Korea
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
The UN warns we're going to sleepwalk to war with North Korea
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Examiner)
 
 
 
Russia may be starting to bomb US forces in Syria...on purpose
source: washingtonexaminer.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
Leaked Mormon documents reveal that Mormons believe that "self-masturbation" leads to homosexual and criminal behavior. No word on what other forms of masturbation are available besides self
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Relax, nazis. James Fields no longer faces second degree murder charges. He got an upgrade
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 

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