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Wed November 22, 2017
Source     Fark Headline Comments
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Climate change has resulted in a butter shortage
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
If you're flying this Thanksgiving, get to the airport early as the TSA is implementing new screening rules that will take more time as they failed another screening audit
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
If you're a parent who's not monitoring all of your child's smart phone activity and controlling all their passwords, your child could die. In fact, your child could be dead already. He might have died just now, in fact, while you were reading this
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WXYZ Detroit)
 
 
 
Florida woman refuses to let a traffic jam make her late for twerk. Bonus: traffic jam caused by Trump's arrival at Mar-a-lago
source: wxyz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this Acrophobia
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(People Magazine)
 
 
 
Home for the Pawlidays. Atlanta Humane Society finds foster homes for its dogs for Thanksgiving. It's Woofday Wednesday
source: people.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Desperately seeking ham
source: thetakeout.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(International Business Times)
 
 
 
Corporation with big plans for any water found on Mars sending experiment to International Space Station on next resupply mission. Fark: It's Budweiser, and you better believe they have a mission patch
source: ibtimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Ten of the UK's twelve water companies admit to using divination to find leaks
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
'Object spotted' on ocean floor in hunt for Argentinian sub. Difficulty: Last day of air
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Feel mellow sipping a glass of wine? Discover untapped talent in singing and dancing when drinking tequila? Feisty after a rum & coke? Here comes the science
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Did no one notice the design before it was constructed?
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Women send explicit photos to female nurse posing as a male doctor. Confused? You won't be after this week's episode
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Well on the bright side, at least the 7th fleet didn't crash a ship this time
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Boston)
 
 
 
"Initially, the homeowner reported a lighted reindeer, a snowman, and a Santa Claus had been stolen. The resident later found that the reindeer was not missing. It had, however, been placed into a lewd position with another reindeer"
source: boston.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
WeRateDogs is 14/10 for tolerating the family this holiday
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Forbes)
 
 
 
Thanksgiving holiday is the biggest travel time of the year, here are the best times to drive and the airports that you're most likely to get arrested and dragged out of after going totally nuts
source: forbes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
Because children can now legally hunt with firearms in Wisconsin, this kindergartner becomes the first to bag a buck thanks to those new terrifying rules
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Slate has found the cause of all sexual harassment: Men in bathrobes
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WXYZ Detroit)
 
 
 
Energy company calls deafening explosion and four story fireball that can happen anywhere at anytime, "extremely rare"
source: wxyz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 2 St. Louis)
 
 
 
Walmart is Number 1, although I'm sure this is not the title they were shooting for
source: fox2now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Woman targeted for her Fark Trump sticker is now selling them. Follow Up tag is in line behind 65,844,954 Farkers waiting to buy one
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Inquisitr)
 
 
 
Woman asks for funding for breast reduction. With handy picture of what K-sized melons look like
source: inquisitr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Quick quiz: What do arthroscopic surgery to reduce shoulder pain and avoiding glutens have in common?
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WRAL)
 
 
 
In seeking the authorization to search the properties, police wrote that they became suspicious after internet searches that described "massages with happy endings"
source: wral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daytona Beach News-Journal)
 
 
 
Guy wakes up blind one morning, goes on to work as victim advocate and open a karate school. Wilson Fisk could not be reached for comment
source: news-journalonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Channel 3000 Madison)
 
 
 
Shakes the Clown doesn't actually shake things, he's more into squeezing
source: channel3000.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Springfield News-Leader)
 
 
 
FTA: 'Dressed in cargo pants and a yellow T-shirt, the man spent most of the day standing on the northwest corner of the roof, occasionally yelling and pointing his middle finger into the air.'
source: news-leader.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hollywood Reporter)
 
 
 
God is forming a really weird band this week
source: hollywoodreporter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
There was a BIG gas explosion north of Detroit Monday night. Here's video of the sizable blast zone
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Tue November 21, 2017
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Newborn baby saves 2-year-old brother by: A) divine intervention; B) CPR; or C) being born
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
UCF sorority suspended for forcing new sisters "to 'chug' pitchers of alcohol" at local bar, which seems an impossible feat to survive, much less to find bars serving pitchers of pure grain alcohol
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
NASA is getting medieval on space exploration and adding chain mail to the tires of the Mars rovers
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
Lawsuit by 450 Vegas shooting victims: This is all MGM's fault because they negligently failed to train their security staff as to what to do if a mass-murdering psycho with a cache of automatic weapons started firing on a crowd from their hotel
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
Is that a giant swastika under your gym shorts or are you just happy to see me dig up WWII garbage that doesn't go boom?
source: thelocal.de   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
In these dark times, we all need something like the USC marching band performing songs from Guardians of the Galaxy, transforming into a cassette tape, spaceship and baby Groot
source: io9.gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC 15)
 
 
 
Family gatherings this holiday season will make for uncomfortable conversation for one family. "So, tell us again how you rolled your truck while drunk, then left your toddler at the scene"
source: abc15.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
In today's 'No shiat Sherlock' department: Don't eat spoiled turkeys from the trash
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSAZ West Virginia)
 
 
 
Man sells car to Craigslist contact for $6,200 in cash. Since you're reading this here, you can already guess that all those Franklins were actually Franglins
source: wsaz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toronto Star)
 
 
 
Georgia dome implosion gets bus-blocked. This headline gets Urban Dictionaried
source: thestar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
Florida Man, fed up with dangerous drivers at one particular intersection, joins the crowd, deliberately drives head-on into SUV running stop sign. There. That'll teach 'em all
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(FOX6Now)
 
 
 
Man who doesn't drink receives 3rd OWI
source: fox6now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Patch)
 
 
 
Man running from the cops stops to pet cats and gets arrested. To be fair, this would probably snare at least 70% of Farkers, too
source: patch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Amid all the sexual harassment in the entertainment industry, it's nice that we have Pixar as an example of...really? Crap
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Photoshop theme - A stunt that Evel Knievel never would've attempted
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
The NYPD will SHUT. DOWN. EVERYTHING for the Thanksgiving Day Parade
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Verge)
 
 
 
In the interest of science, groups of people were assigned to take cold showers. As a result, they missed less work, had more shrinkage
source: theverge.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(American Military News)
 
 
 
Remember the Navy pilot that drew a penis, that's right a PENIS, in the sky with his jet? Well here's the video footage we've all been waiting for. Penis. SKY PENIS
source: americanmilitarynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Uber has had a security data breach that has affected 57 million people. Rather than let you know about it, Uber paid the hackers $100,000 not to use the data
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
If you're an Evangelical Christian whose wall proudly displays that fragment of the Dead Sea Scrolls that you bought, you just may have been duped (again)
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Reading Rainbow's LeVar Burton bombarded with tweets from angry Trump fans who think he's LaVar Ball. If only they had some sort of devices to improve their vision
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
The New York Times discovers that free drinking water may be obtained in public places from a device known as a "water fountain." No, really
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
A group of Iraqi hackers decided they could fight ISIS better than the government by inserting pornography into ISIS propaganda
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Scooby the camel gets loose but recaptured in Ohio. It said it was trying to run away from the ghosts it saw along with its stoner friend
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
Man found dead in NYC homeless shelter with mystery demonic marking on back of head
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(It's a 2 part joke)
 
 
 
Photoshop this bat wing
source: i.pinimg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KIRO-7 Seattle)
 
 
 
Bikini baristas fight back against crack down. Isn't that what the bikini is for?
source: kiro7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 59)
 
 
 
Today's school bus driver accused of driving drunk on the job is brought to you by Indiana
source: fox59.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
RIP to Farkette Morrisbird. Your humor and generosity will be missed
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WANE Ft. Wayne)
 
 
 
Fiona watches hopefully through the glass, wishing that she, too, will meet the love of her life while at the Cincinnati Zoo's Hippo Exhibit
source: wane.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(FOX6Now)
 
 
 
Pennsylvania man accused of beating his roommate to death over stolen beer told investigators he confronted his 58-year-old roommate about the Keystone Ice and fought with him, then left him lying on the floor and went to bed
source: fox6now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Modesto Bee)
 
 
 
With Thanksgiving coming up, here are some helpful safety tips for those wanting to deep-fry a turkey. In other news, Fark braces for rash of 'Dumbass,' 'Fail,' and 'Florida' submissions
source: modbee.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
OMG bbwwhahahahah On no, poor....HAHAHAHAHAHAHA...Poor Yogi. That's HAHAHAHA That's a real Boo Boo, right there. *tears*. Tough guy tries to walk it off like a CHAMP. (Oh and you HAVE to read the comments)
source: imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
After an arduous battle with cancer, Farker too-old has passed away. RIP, old friend
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHO TV Des Moines)
 
 
 
'Monkey Bread' top-searched term by Iowans, thankfully not on PornHub
source: whotv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Studio)
 
 
 
Caption these model scientists
source: images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 New York)
 
 
 
Australian woman drives in car with massive spider "staring" at her for over 20 minutes (w/video)
source: abc7ny.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
City bus photobombs Georgia Dome implosion
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Battle for the Net)
 
 
 
And here's how you can help stop the gutting of Net Neutrality
source: battleforthenet.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 4 KC)
 
 
 
Seeing a shortage of Christmas trees this year? Blame the small plantings after the 2008 recession, and the shortage of trucks created by hurricane relief work
source: fox4kc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Sometimes the Pot runs a world famous news site and writes articles about the Kettle. This guy's quote could be the alternate headline for every other news article they run
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bloomberg)
 
NewsFlash
 
FCC Chair tells agency to abandon net neutrality. This is a News Flash, but in the future, you won't know about it unless you paid the premium, biatch
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
NewsFlash
 
Zimbabwe's president Robert Mugabe resigns, hopefully setting precedent for U.S.
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Omaha World Herald)
 
 
 
If there's anything our local fire department doesn't need it is the negative image of its members all shirtless and flexing while holding rescue animals. Good thing the chief is putting a stop to that
source: omaha.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
The Prescott Valley AZ police department is asking for your help in locating a Glock 19 9mm handgun, serial number YHC 944. It's not evidence in a crime or anything like that; it's just that the chief of police left it in a public bathroom
source: prescottvalleyenews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
British embassy cat in Jordan appointed chief mouser. How the cat got inside of him we may never know
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 61 Connecticut)
 
 
 
Whitefish stops 'working' on Puerto Rico power grid, claims it's owed $83 million
source: fox61.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 4 KC)
 
 
 
Woman who lost her legs after someone spiked her drink and left her on train tracks has a pretty good comedy act on Tinder
source: fox4kc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Australians join together in unison to scream at US journalist Darren Rovell eating a meat pie with cutlery, because if there's one thing that brings people together it's someone enjoying food the wrong way
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Twitter: "What bots?"
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Woman goes to the mall wearing nothing but body paint, pasties and a thong and you're gone. If anyone is still here, I would like to recite a poem I wrote. It's called "Ode to a Green Lump of Putty I Found in My Armpit One Midsummer Morning"
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Photoshop Theme: Classic (or modern) film posters using Lord of the Rings characters
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reno Gazette-Journal)
 
 
 
Turkeys causing a ruckus in San Francisco. So it begins
source: rgj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
Trump administration can't even beat one judge. Order cutting funding to sanctuary cities permanently blocked
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
This party is LIT
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
The wealthy people of Houston whose homes filled with water when the federal govt. acted to avoid a dam failure are not particularly supportive of the whole "flooding the few to save the many" strategy
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Finally, some good news. Trump's charitable foundation, which has admitted violating federal rules on "self-dealing," is in the process of shutting down
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Trump supporter tells Maxine Waters not to infringe on his freedom from opinions he doesn't like. "You're going to wind up dead, Maxine, 'cause we'll kill you." Police then infringe on his freedom from arrest. See? See?
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Today)
 
 
 
Roy Moore accuser Leigh Corfman explains why she waited so long to tell her story. "It's very simple, really - I did tell people"
source: today.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Hatin' Porta Potty Prince orders Haitians to Port-au-Prince
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS New York)
 
 
 
Bank of America is at it again
source: newyork.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
What I learned when I tried to make a gluten-free, kosher, no-soy, vegan, organic, low-acid, no-dairy Thanksgiving - I'm a raging tool suspiciously absent
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Canadian who treated son's meningitis in the most Canadian manner is not very Canadian about it
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 

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