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Wed June 03, 2015
Source     Fark Headline Comments
(KHOU Houston)
 
 
 
Father accused of losing his shiat because his son wasn't potty trained
source: khou.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(26)
 
(AZCentral)
 
 
 
You can get a grand jury to indict a ham sandwich. But even the most skillful attorney can't get one to indict a 33-year-old yoga teacher of drunkenly performing oral sex on a 15-year-old boy at a Bar Mitzvah party
source: azcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(47)
 
(Arkansas Online)
 
 
 
Mother accused of mailing marijuana to jail inside a Bible. Holy smokes
source: arkansasonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(7)
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
This seal is carrying a sensor to help scientists study the seas near Antarctica, and he seems pretty pissed off about it
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(9)
 
(Talking Points Memo)
 
 
 
France is trolling Francis. Will they get a bite?
source: talkingpointsmemo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(13)
 
(WMUR New Hampshire)
 
 
 
In an effort to fight extremely underage drinking, governor blocks bill that would allow baby pictures on beer bottles
source: wmur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(13)
 
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Someone is covertly choking chickens in South Carolina
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(11)
 
(Bradenton Herald)
 
 
 
Actual headline: "Manatee teen pregnancy emerging from the shadows"
source: bradenton.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(13)
 
(WSBTV)
 
 
 
Yes Virginia, Georgia's open carry law DOES extend to the world's busiest airport. You can even bring your AR-15
source: wsbtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(104)
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Antique store claims to have Eva Braun's panties for sale, says they're guaranteed to raise a fuhrer
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(27)
 


Tue June 02, 2015
(Alice 97.3 San Francisco)
 
 
 
Controversial new drug referred to as "Viagra for women" under FDA scrutiny. The drug, called "red wine," allegedly increases a woman's libido
source: radioalice.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(74)
 
(KTVQ Billings)
 
 
 
If the photos aren't good enough, you're not close enough--and Yellowstone's bison will definitely tell you when your photos are really, really good
source: ktvq.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(60)
 
(Anchorage Daily News)
 
 
 
Pilot unaware of midair collision until after landing, when he found himself parked on top of the other plane
source: adn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(53)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Oxford U's Vice-Chancellor thinks Americans overreacted to 9/11 because they aren't as resilient as Brits. Which explains that tame and balanced reaction to Northern Ireland and the IRA
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(101)
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this NASA Orion spacecraft thermal window inspection
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(30)
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
School kitchen manager fired for giving lunches to hungry children without money
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(268)
 
(10 News)
 
 
 
The infidels will bow in terror at the almighty power of Croutons
source: 10news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(33)
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Being a negative nancy may have a downside
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(68)
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Bruce Jenner's transition into Caitlyn Jenner is a sin against God on par with molesting children according to -- well, THIS is awkward -- the pastor who runs the church that the Duggar family attends
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(283)
 
(KSAT San Antonio)
 
 
 
Border agents seize 3,500 pounds of marijuana hidden in lettuce truck, but suspect it's just the tip of the iceberg
source: ksat.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(21)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
There's no telling the shenanigans a terrorist would get up to if he had access to a Massachusetts CVS
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(39)
 
(KTUU Alaska)
 
 
 
Now we know how reindeer can fly
source: ktuu.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(20)
 
(Army Times)
 
 
 
Fashion superpower unveils its Fall 2015 lineup. Verdict: Muted earth tones are in; velcro is out
source: armytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(46)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Four injured by fawlty rollercoaster at Alton Towers
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(49)
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
Another reason to pull your damn pants up
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(40)
 
(DNA Info)
 
 
 
Step on a crack break your mother's back. Step on a NYC sidewalk grating.. fall 20 feet down a hole and seriously hurt yourself
source: dnainfo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(42)
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Midwest avian flu outbreak causing egg prices to eggsplode
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(68)
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Don't Mess with Texas...........Geese
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(40)
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Here are 100 eggcorns that pass mustard
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(100)
 
(When On Earth)
 
 
 
Photoshop this engineering feat
source: whenonearth.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(21)
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
♫ Let's go fly a kite, up to the highest height. Let's go fly a kite and send it soaring. Up through the atmosphere, up where the air is clear, oh... Oh, OH HOLY CRAP
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(42)
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Here, we see a newly discovered marsupial, known for suicidal, 14-hour-long sex sessions. And across the ridge, we find a standard Farker, who is winded after 3 minutes of sex
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(81)
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
A couple whose rat-infested garden has been piled high with junk for five years have been branded the filthiest in Britain. Their response? WooHoo we're #1
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(54)
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
Protip: there's a difference between dental health and mental health. We're looking at you, mister dentist's office masturbator
source: seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(40)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Ever seen a pigeon's genitals? ISIS is worried that you might
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(113)
 
(News 13 Orlando)
 
 
 
You can stop worrying about those mysterious aircraft flying over U.S. cities and spying on people. It's just the FBI
source: mynews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(51)
 
(History Today)
 
 
 
Benjamin "Bugsy" Siegel: Bootlegger, gangster, builder of casinos, Nazi hunter ... wait, what?
source: historytoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(34)
 
(Heavy)
 
 
 
TSA calling in fake airline threats today to cover up for their embarrassing DHS review
source: heavy.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(56)
 
(The Detroit_News)
 
 
 
"Yeah, so one of our cops beat a dude up and now we're out a bunch of cash. Meaning that you, the taxpayer, are out a bunch of cash"
source: detroitnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(94)
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
"Was I wrong to praise a police blotter?"
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(53)
 
(Al Jazeera)
 
NewsFlash
 
FIFA evacuates its Blatter
source: aljazeera.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(483)
 
(News 13 Orlando)
 
 
 
Governor Rick Scott hosts Republican presidential hopefuls at Walt Disney World, confusing election watchers who can't tell Sleepy from Dopey and think they're all Goofy
source: mynews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(148)
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
Bad - you're being taken to the hospital in an ambulance. Worse - the ambulance hits a bus and flips several times
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(53)
 
(Newser)
 
 
 
After massive security failure, TSA tells its acting director to remove shoes, hat, all government ID
source: newser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(171)
 
(Daytona Beach News-Journal)
 
 
 
Hello, class of 2015. 2/3 of you are bad and you should feel bad
source: news-journalonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(110)
 
(Inquisitr)
 
 
 
Police: Performing a sex act with a McChicken sandwich is gross and disturbing, but not necessarily illegal
source: inquisitr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(114)
 
(WorldWide Weird News)
 
 
 
Woman charged with driving under the influence ... of whipped cream
source: worldwideweirdnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(71)
 
(CBS Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop these divers
source: cbsnews2.cbsistatic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(21)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Negative, Maverickski, the pattern is full
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(81)
 
(Blogger.com)
 
 
 
Hamas basically admits that they refuse to rebuild parts of Gaza and deliberately keep the residents there poor as an open air zoo for the world media, governments and leftist groups
source: elderofziyon.blogspot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(370)
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
Sometimes the only way to stop your drunk mom from driving everyone to the store to get outfits for the sixth-grade graduation is to punch her in the face
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(29)
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Don't you just hate when you're on a driving lesson and your car gets run over by a tank?
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(76)
 
(Arkansas Online)
 
 
 
If you're in prison and decide to be your own attorney during your murder trial, don't whine to the judge that your incarceration has presented obstacles in gathering and reviewing evidence you need to prepare your defense
source: arkansasonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(34)
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
Today's unfounded freakout for preppers: Obama's taking away our wood-burning stoves
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(170)
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Yeah so we're sorry that we didn't get a hold of you over the last 10 years to let you know that your daughter is in our foster care system. It's awesome that you reached out. There's just the small matter of a $7,800 bill. So yeah
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(93)
 
(EuroNews)
 
 
 
Belgium asks, "Who the fark still uses a payphone?"
source: euronews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(42)
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Woman ordered to serve two weeks behind bars for having outrageously loud sex: "Gemma started screaming and shouting whilst having sex, which woke us up. This lasted ten minutes" (w/pic of Gemma)
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(131)
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Family forced to flee from house when can of deodorant explodes and sets kitchen on fire. Investigators ask them all to raise their hands if they're sure
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(15)
 
(CBS 46 Atlanta)
 
 
 
Colorado high school principal stops valedictorian from speaking, outs him to parents
source: cbs46.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(172)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Why did London's last wild colony of hedgehogs cross the road? They never did, and that's why they're still live hedgies
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(25)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Thirty-year-old support worker loses half her body weight after giving up 1,095 candy bars per year habit, starting the Cambridge Weight Plan: "I'm saving up money I would have spent on chocolate to see my dad in Florida later this year" (w/pics)
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(57)
 
(San Luis Obispo Tribune)
 
 
 
How an $85 traffic fine will cost you $499, even if you pay it on time
source: sanluisobispo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(51)
 
(KHOU Houston)
 
 
 
Hey FEMA: Not to tell you how to do your job, but if you schedule a meeting with homeowners about the massive flood damage to their homes, it helps if you actually show up for the meeting
source: khou.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(32)
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
Happy hours may soon again be legal in Illinois
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(21)
 
(Northwest News (Seattle))
 
 
 
As the Western drought continues, whitewater rafting companies are adapting to lower water levels. The new model seems to be an inner tube with a beer cooler tied to it
source: nwcn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(42)
 
(CBS New York)
 
 
 
You're all alone at the funeral home saying goodbye to the last of your loved ones and you're all alone in the world now except for Lulu the comfort dog who's there by your side in case you need her
source: newyork.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(19)
 
(IndyStar)
 
 
 
Your cat is infecting your body with parasites while you sleep. "I don't think we can take it for granted anymore that these parasites are sitting in our heads for the rest of our lives doing nothing"
source: indystar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(103)
 

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