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Wed January 18, 2017
Source     Fark Headline Comments
(Wired UK)
 
 
 
CIA declassifies Stargate program. Col. O'Neill unavailable for comment
source: wired.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop these trees on a cliff
source: miriadna.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kare11)
 
 
 
If you're drunk and drive your car into a ditch you might as well have sex
source: kare11.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
What was your state's nickname in the 19th century? Bug Eater, Puke, Weasel, or Sucker?
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TMZ)
 
 
 
The Lord Jesus Christ takes time off from his busy schedule of appearing on toast and is promptly arrested for Trump assassination threat
source: tmz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Contemporist)
 
 
 
Photoshop this office slacker into a more exotic slacking environment
source: contemporist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Miami Herald)
 
 
 
Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed rounds. Although, if you're currently locked up for masterminding 9/11 they might drag their feet on delivering your letters
source: miamiherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
The deadliest animal in Australia: My Little Pony
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Boris Johnson warns European leaders "not to give Britain punishment beatings" as it tries to exit the EU. Wow. Apparently politics are a lot kinkier and fun on that side of the pond than this one
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Most people stake a claim to a parking spot with a turn signal, not by impaling other drivers
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSPA)
 
 
 
Pictsweet Farms recalls extra-crunchy breaded okra - now with artisanal glass fragments
source: wspa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Mayor: "That's not my voice on those audio tapes." Everyone else: "Dude, it's so you"
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
NASA and NOAA declare last year the hottest year on record. Not technically a repeat from 2016 or 2015, but it's happened three years running
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Barry & District News)
 
 
 
"Man dressed as beer bottle wanted for pizza theft" (pics)
source: barryanddistrictnews.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Psychologists debunk the idea that the third Monday in January ('Blue Monday') is the most depressing day of the year. In addition, for the first time in 108 years it also won't be Opening Day at Wrigley Field
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
15 people not including your father who famously disappeared
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
It's here -- your comprehensive list of the World's Most Annoying Airline Passengers. Good effort, Aromatic Passenger, but looks like Inattentive Parent and Rear Seat Kicker were really in it to win it
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(International Business Times)
 
 
 
AI can predict when your insurance carrier should terminate your coverage with 80% accuracy
source: ibtimes.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(International Business Times)
 
 
 
Fatah, Hamas to form unity party, presumably to be called "Fatahs"
source: ibtimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Flickr)
 
 
 
Photoshop this misty morning paddleboarder
source: c1.staticflickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Local10 WPLG)
 
 
 
Woman stabs man nine times when he says he won't commit to a relationship - as if that's going to change his mind
source: local10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Alaska Dispatch News)
 
 
 
If you dare to mock your girlfriend in front of her adult son while drinking and watching football inside a hotel room, you better sleep with one eye open
source: adn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Welcome to China, where you can have your cake and drink it too
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boing Boing)
 
 
 
Moby Dick's restaurant lease blocked because of "offensive name". What's wrong with Moby?
source: boingboing.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
No, it's not ok to watch porn on an airplane either
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Time)
 
 
 
Will there be honor among thieves? Probably not
source: time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
You're upset that your supposed pot dealer ran off with your $40 and never returned. Knowing full well that buying weed is illegal in your country, you naturally C) call the police
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Share some advice for new parents. Maybe for newly stay at home parents, what helps keep the house running smoothly? Keeping sanity?
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 19 Cincinnati)
 
 
 
Good news, Kentuckians: Yours is the cheapest state for smokers
source: fox19.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Tue January 17, 2017
(NYPost)
 
 
 
I'm not exactly sure where the Ice Cream Killer fits on the hot/crazy scale, but she's sure gotta be WAAAAAAAY up there on the crazy side. Scary tag only very slightly beats Sick tag (Not safe for work images in sidebar & below article)
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KFOR Oklahoma City)
 
 
 
Oklahoma State University students decide the best way to commemorate Martin Luther King day is to post pics of themselves in blackface
source: kfor.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSAZ West Virginia)
 
 
 
God as my witness, I thought it was a 'Springer Spaniel'
source: wsaz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Houston Press)
 
 
 
"The court imagines an appropriate reaction from SpongeBob SquarePants would be, 'Aw, tartar sauce'"
source: houstonpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WMUR New Hampshire)
 
 
 
There's procrastination and then there's filing a missing person report on someone who vanished in 1981
source: wmur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark NotNewsletter: Update to the TotalFark & BareFark membership drive
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Onion AV Club)
 
 
 
Never ever again will you have to wonder which store-bought hot dog is the "Best Ever Hot Dog In the Universe of All Time." It's been decided. Forever
source: avclub.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
You're listening to Stockholm FM & coming up next is..***crackle*** .. Get out of the farking way. Coming through... ***crackle*** ...ith Bjorn Svensson. So keep it locked right here
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newser)
 
 
 
If you're going to hold onto a library book called "Forty Minutes Late," might as well go big and keep it for a century
source: newser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSVN Miami)
 
 
 
Florida celebrates MLK Day the only way it knows how
source: wsvn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHNT Huntsville)
 
 
 
Missing hunter was really in jail for public intoxication in the most Alabama story you'll read today
source: whnt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
Hundreds of wolf-dog hybrids illegally sold in Italy. That's nothing, you should see the Hungarian spiderbat black market
source: thelocal.it   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
State of emergency declared in The Gambia. For those of you who don't speak English, that's Le Gambia
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Photoshop theme: An alternative album cover for any existing album
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 13 Orlando)
 
 
 
♪ Chim chiminey, chim chiminey, chim chim cher-oo / the Florida fire department has been called to come rescue you ♪
source: mynews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Canadian couple shocked, SHOCKED to find 'micro-pig' they purchased turns into 670-lb giant. Apparently too polite to return it
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Good news Millennials, you'll still struggle to pay off your student loans even after you retire
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WRAL)
 
 
 
Harry Dean Stanton gets surprise prison term in repo gone wrong. Emilio Estevez reportedly nervous
source: wral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
Norway has the second-highest priced Big Macs in the world. Of course, the only other option is lutefisk
source: thelocal.no   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
Sex Temple Madam avoids prison, does not avoid being subby's new band name
source: seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Onion)
 
 
 
In addition to civil rights, civil language, and America being a world leader, we also are going to have to say goodbye to the Onion's articles about Joe Biden
source: theonion.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
NewsFlash
 
President Obama commutes most of Chelsea Manning's 35-year sentence
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Talk Radio (UK))
 
 
 
It's not every day you take a walk to your local reservoir and find a 12-foot 600-year-old Buddha sitting there
source: talkradio.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this...SWEET MOTHER OF GOD WHAT THE HELL???
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 13 Orlando)
 
 
 
In medical news, you may already be infected with a drug-resistant superbug and not even know it. EVERYBODY PANIC
source: mynews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
Shutting Ringling Bro. Circus will cost 462 jobs, owners say. To be fair, newly unemployed clowns and carnival barkers should easily be able to find suitable employment in all levels of government
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SacBee)
 
 
 
Zebra found dead and skinned near Hearst Castle. In other news, there are zebras roaming around near Hearst Castle
source: sacbee.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Minneapolis Star Tribune)
 
 
 
2016's worst home inspections included a hockey puck used as a cleanout plug, a sewer vent beneath a patio table, and a squirrel skeleton installed into the soffit
source: startribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
Swedish advertising company embarrassed to find out the phrase "White Power" has unfortunate connotations in English. Huh, there goes my plan for "Death to America" brand oversized coffins
source: thelocal.se   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Bookies are giving Trump 4-1 odds of being impeached within 6 months
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Gov Paul LePage declares that John Lewis should be more respectful of white people and needs to understand Civil Rights history. Seriously
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
A comprehensive list of who's marching in Trump's inaugural parade. Don't blink
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Marla Maples and Tiffany Trump to D.C. stylist: Hey, how about you give us free hairstyles for the inauguration in exchange for some Twitter publicity? D.C. stylist: Hey, how about I get my publicity for free by talking about how cheap you are?
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSDK St. Louis)
 
 
 
That Maserati doing 185, slid into a pond and no more will it drive
source: ksdk.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Wood burning banned in liberal Bay Area, book burning okay though as long as it's "The Art of the Deal"
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gossip Cop)
 
 
 
Justin Bieber impersonator arrested for getting underaged girls to send him naked pictures. At least they said it was an impersonator. I don't know if I'm a belieber
source: gossipcop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deslidefied)
 
 
 
Here are the 50 craziest laws in each state. Come for not being allowed to drive blindfolded, stay for idiots not being allowed to vote
source: deslide.clusterfake.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
How abortion politics aborted Obama's plans to reduce abortions. Abortion
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Tom Brady's sleeping habits, Monica Crowley's plagiarism, and one stretchy condom scandal. These are YOUR Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2017-01-08 to Sat 2017-01-14
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
100 years ago, British code breakers read a German message asking Mexico to invade the USA and changed the course of world history
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Globe Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this poser on the pier
source: c.o0bg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
There is absolutely, positively, NO chance at all that digging a tunnel under Stonehenge will release ancient gods long trapped and best left buried
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
I guess it does look better shaved
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
As if the snakes, spiders, kangaroos, poisonous frogs, sharks, crocodiles and women weren't enough to get you killed in Australia, they have a rare flesh-eating bacteria too
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Ticket scalpers losing money on Trump inauguration tickets
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
When your mom calls you by the dog's name, it just means she loves you
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC4i)
 
 
 
Our long international nightmare is finally over...or is it?
source: nbc4i.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Ars Technica)
 
 
 
L.A. community college pays $28,000 to free itself from ransomware, will hope to recoup the money after one new part time student enrolls
source: arstechnica.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 

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