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Sat August 27, 2016
Source     Fark Headline Comments
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
The most depressing photo you'll ever see on the internet of a couple who's been married 62-years saying goodbye to each other as they get ready to be taken away to different nursing homes. I'll be in my funk
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Root)
 
 
 
Question of the day: "Did Oklahoma police go too far when they pepper-sprayed an 84-year-old woman?" Uhhh, who exactly is taking the 'No' side on this? (w/ vid)
source: theroot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Move over all you 'World's oldest person' types, the REAL 'World's oldest man' has been discovered and he's only 145 years young
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Engadget)
 
 
 
NYC's Bryant Park is tracking visitor behavior. Mostly the minor league criminals who go there to practice in hopes they'lll someday be called up to work in Central Park
source: engadget.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
High school millennials now expect to be able to customize their personal parking spaces with painted designs and messages
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tales of the Cocktail)
 
 
 
"We were looking to get street cred back in the tiki world"
source: talesofthecocktail.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AL.com)
 
 
 
High school teacher shocked, shocked I tell you, after being attacked by a student with a stun gun
source: al.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fansided)
 
 
 
Behold the most Canadian liquor store robbery of all time
source: fansided.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jalopnik)
 
 
 
Ever wonder what happens when a truck full of airbag cartridges crashes in front of your home and detonates? BONUS FARK: Takata airbags
source: jalopnik.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Forbidden Planet)
 
 
 
This week on the Saturday Morning Book Club, we're looking for the best of the visual side: the graphic novel. Plus advice on where a newcomer should start
source: forbiddenplanet.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TreeHugger)
 
 
 
Say McBye to the McEra of McMansions
source: treehugger.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TreeHugger)
 
 
 
One just needs to take a good look around where you live to realize we've hit peak dog in our cities
source: treehugger.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop these umbrellas
source: iplaybaby.simple-helix.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Baltimore Sun)
 
 
 
In Baltimore, even the rivers and streams have a drug problem
source: baltimoresun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Hero tag standing next to)
 
 
 
Dateline: Louisiana. "No one had the time to build an ark before the torrential rains and subsequent flooding, but animals still were rescued". And all are welcome on Caturday
source: iberianet.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wikipedia)
 
 
 
Conspiracy check: Show of hands here, how many think there's any Au in Fort Knox?
source: en.m.wikipedia.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
Old and busted: Posting video of you riding manatee. New hotness: Posting video of you playing with sea turtle hatchlings
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
An article written to appeal to the paranoid germophobe who freaks out at restaurants. Subject: Lemon in a drink. UNCLEAN
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Police say they have "ruled out the possibility of a Sharknado" in the mystery of a shark found in a roadside puddle. That's some fine police work there, Lou
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Australia: "Don't stop there, it's a murderous hellhole"
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Man proposes to girlfriend with time capsule they buried together five years ago. Oh, Canada
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Great Falls Tribune)
 
 
 
National parks demand human sacrifice for hundredth anniversary
source: greatfallstribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Fri August 26, 2016
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Elderly man plays the piano after suffering a stroke, which is weird because he didn't know how to play a piano before
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Most interesting man in the world convicted in masterminding global online theft ring
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Trump's doctor writes off the cuff just like how Trump speaks off the cuff
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Richard Branson says he thought he'd die in his recent bicycle crash. No word yet on the condition of the nude model who had been riding on his back at the time
source: money.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(STLToday)
 
 
 
Florida man survives lightning strike, spider, and snake bites. Florida man must be indestructible
source: stltoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Skateboarding with a freaking jetpack. Coming up next: In the ER with a freaking jetpack
source: sploid.gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
The most heinous kidnapping in the history of Calgary has been solved, as a plexiglass pig has been returned to a bar
source: calgary.ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Wondering where your birthday card from Grandma went? Well, it's probably in the California apartment of a USPS worker (along with 48,287 other pieces of undelivered mail)
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
Scientific study finds beers of the two biggest German brewery rivals "actually taste almost exactly the same"
source: thelocal.de   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WRAL)
 
 
 
There are times when it stinks to be a cop, like when you perform a well-being check on persons unseen for 2 weeks during a heat wave
source: wral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
Boobies
 
This Sunday is the ninth annual Go Topless Go protest, which seeks to free boobies from the savage bondage of, you know...tops. I believe we can all get behind this movement (Not safe for work)
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Action News Jacksonville)
 
 
 
Oh look, just an ultra-rare sawfish Fark: 17 feet long
source: actionnewsjax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
The reason every movie has a disclaimer stating that it is fictional involves Rasputin's assassin, MGM studios, and a rape scene with Lionel and Ethel Barrymore. Just like you suspected
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Flickr)
 
 
 
Photoshop this desert explorer
source: c1.staticflickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Doctor: Your IUD is dislodged, causing internal bleeding and should be removed right away. Patient: Can you do it? Doctor: LOL no. I'm Catholic
source: rewire.news   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
"I think you people are stone cold silent about this flood, because really, there's no agenda to push. There's no side to take. There's nobody to blame"
source: ijr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Idaho Statesman)
 
 
 
You really think someone would do that? Just write a newspaper op-ed piece and tell lies? (bonus: evisceration in comments)
source: idahostatesman.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Everybody loves boobs - here comes the science (possibly not safe for work)
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jacksonville.com)
 
 
 
Pastor who claimed Orlando nightclub shooting victims got what they deserved also, allegedly, has strong opinions about what children deserve
source: jacksonville.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Quartz)
 
 
 
#5: Don't use eHarmony
source: qz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Lagging years behind MTV, Syrian rebels finally give up on Daraya
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
You're not really on vacation until you're drunk enough that getting a tattoo reading ''Gary Lineker shags crisps' tattooed on your chest seems like a great idea
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Gun Guy)
 
 
 
Meanwhile, in Canada: "THESE ARE ACTIVE FIRING RANGES. NO POKEMON ACTIVITY BEYOND THIS POINT"
source: gunfreezone.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
The woman who fell 40 feet to her death from a zip line platform had disconnected herself from the safety system, a spokesman for Go Ape Tree Top Adventure said Thursday
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Police are still searching for clues in the murder of two elderly nuns in Mississippi who worked at a free clinic that helped poor children, say they may just wait till the next lightning storm and charge any charred remains they find
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MetroWest Daily News)
 
Weeners
 
Bored? Stroll around the Red Roof Inn nude
source: metrowestdailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Possibly the most British headline ever written: "ASBO yob gets town centre ban overturned so he can still tuck into his favourite kebab"
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
That moment when your $100,000 whale vomit turns out to be just worthless fat (pics)
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
'Bus surfing' is such a problem in England that they're having to refit vehicles with bars to stop idiots taking joyrides (w/ vid of bus surfing)
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Judge Aaron Persky, who gave Brock Turner six months for rape, has requested to be transferred to civil court only. Well that'll show them
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop Challenge: Fix up this partially destroyed clock tower
source: loveopium.ru   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sputnik News)
 
 
 
"At first, the woman ran across rooftops. Then, she decided to strip naked so she wouldn't be noticed"
source: sputniknews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Ready to see how you did this week? This is the Fark Weird News Quiz. And remember, we were GMO-free and gluten-free before it was uncool
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TwinCities.com)
 
 
 
Your fireworks may be a little too powerful if your fingers are found in another state
source: twincities.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Advertising Standards Canada demonstrates it has no sense of humour after reprimanding national realtor ad showing home buyers who didn't use a realtor being forced to join a biker gang
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newser)
 
 
 
Bonnie and Clyde didn't just rob banks, they wrote really mean letters, too
source: newser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Woman says "mysterious, evil goblins" took her hostage for a week
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTVL Medford)
 
 
 
Look, you can't just walk around breaking into homes, whipping out your junk and demanding that elderly women perform sex acts on you. Police are not cool with that
source: ktvl.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Thrilled with recent press coverage, white supremacists are playing saxophones, posing for photos, and holding videoconferences. Stormfront's even giving away black garden gnomes that will totally respect white culture
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Khaleej Times)
 
 
 
Thursday checklist: take drugs, strip down to boxers, drive pickup onto airport grounds, crash into a passenger jet. Check, check, check, aaaaaand check
source: khaleejtimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
New device could have British women limping for days
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFAA Fort Worth)
 
 
 
Cop stops black guy for traffic violation, said guy's daughter cries and is scared the cop will hurt her dad. But then...
source: wfaa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Bra company boss forces male employees to experience E-cup boobs by hanging weights around their necks
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
A big hearty thank you to all Whatsapp users for so kindly agreeing to give Facebook your phone number and all that other personal data. Oh, you didn't agree? Hm. Well, thanks anyway
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Dot)
 
 
 
Check out Mike Pence's law-school comic strip if you're in the mood not to laugh
source: dailydot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Courier UK)
 
 
 
Today's Fark-ready headline: "Sheriff orders tutu-clad sex toy dangler to be of good behaviour"
source: thecourier.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS San Francisco)
 
 
 
Astronaut Jeff Williams sets a record for the most days in space at 521, breaking the previous record held by Dennis Rodman
source: sanfrancisco.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Lawmakers to UVA: Can you explain why you're sitting on more than $2.2 billion in cash but still keep raising tuition? UVA: Um...infastructure...er, inflation...uh, diversity...uh...*smokebomb*
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(VG Nett (Norway))
 
 
 
Volunteering to dive into an outhouse shiatter to find his buddy's lost cell phone appears to be one of the LEAST idiotic decisions this particular Norwegian guy has made. With photo evidence
source: vg.no   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
France's highest court issues ruling on burkini ban. Rough paraphrase: WTF were you idiots thinking?
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Hull Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Come for the story about a high-speed car chase in England, stay for the phrase "...embedding itself in St Clair's groin"
source: hulldailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Private prisons are crowded, understaffed, and deadly for inmates, according to researchers who just finally got around to watching Season 1 of 'Orange is the New Black'
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Egyptian police using Grindr to find and arrest LGBT citizens
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Minneapolis Community Education now offers three chemtrails classes. Instructor will supply tinfoil for free
source: online.fliphtml5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deadline)
 
 
 
Dr. Drew's TV show cancelled after daring to question Hillary Clinton's health issues
source: deadline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
FEMA tells Governor Scott algae is not an emergency request
source: orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSTU FOX 13)
 
 
 
Nearly 5% of Utah students opted out of vaccination, tag is for all of them
source: fox13now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Mom charged in death of malnourished son found in closet. She figured if she kept him in the closet, he wouldn't need any food. That's the way closets work. I'm sorry, I'm her defense lawyer and I'm working on her case
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this giant engine
source: drillingcontractor.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark Shop)
 
 
 
Fark Store Daily Deal: E-learning computer security courses. CISSP certification training, VoIP, ethical hacking certification, Java Cryptography Architecture, TCP For computer networks, Mobile Application penetration testing. (Sponsored Link)
source: deals.fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Trump made his Apprentice contestants agree to appear nude in front of him
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZ Family)
 
 
 
What do you do when you discover javelinas living in your yard? Well, after you look up the word javelina, you call animal control, the police, and more with the answer being, "you deal with it." Looks like you have some pet javelinas
source: azfamily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Verge)
 
 
 
Burkini ban II: Electric Bugaloo. Bigots double-down as French official threatens people who spread the Burkini ban picture on social media with legal action
source: theverge.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(White House)
 
 
 
Caption this image
source: whitehouse.gov   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
Today's FARK-ready headline: '"Extremely intoxicated' Fort Lauderdale officer brawls with hotel security while holding baby"
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KHOU Houston)
 
 
 
If you're a female realtor in Houston and some guy calls inquiring about a house for sale and then starts asking you what kind of shoes you have on and to take off your shoes to improve cell reception, just hang up on him
source: khou.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guns.com)
 
 
 
Arkansas cop wants $75,000 from Glock for not warning him that his pistol was capable of shooting him in the foot, especially if he tried to mount a tactical light on it while it was loaded
source: guns.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
Drunken Christmas goat burner faces four years in jail. This word salad headline comes to you from Gävle, Sweden
source: thelocal.se   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
With the Pulse Nightclub massacre still fresh in everyone's mind, now's not a good time to hold a balloon-popping contest inside an Orlando mall
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Hurriyet Daily News)
 
 
 
Family gets food poisoning from dinner held to celebrate surviving food poisoning
source: hurriyetdailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
British government cuts recommended weekly alcohol allowance to what you might expect to drink at a single lunch
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZ Family)
 
 
 
Parents in Texas six months behind on child support payments will not be able to renew their vehicle registration, which will make it even that much harder for them to get a job to pay their child support
source: azfamily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Thirteen pains that are worse than childbirth - according to mothers and scientists. DO NOT WANT
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 

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