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Tue September 07, 2010
Source     Fark Headline Comments
(Some Guy)   Boy calls 9-1-1 after father passes out behind the wheel. "I saw daddy crush a pill and suck it into his nose with a straw"  (wiod.com) (9)
(io9)   A study shows that in the United States, you can buy happiness for $75,000 per year. That's a lot of booze  (io9.com) (16)
(The Sun)   Obese man fired as a preventative step just in case he fell on a co-worker and crushed them  (thesun.co.uk) (65)
(News.com.au)   Russian teen suffers police beating so severe doctors may not be able to save his genitals - except in a bottle  (news.com.au) (65)
(katu.com)   Smoking hot Pussycats Club closes Canyon Road in Beaverton  (koinlocal6.com) (35)
(Washington Times)   Two-thirds of you Americans believe that one magical person out there, somewhere, is your soul mate. The rest of you already gave up and are married  (washingtontimes.com) (143)
(Mirror.co.uk)   Drunken guy sees how long he can hang from a 5th floor balcony. Answer: not long  (mirror.co.uk) (33)
(CNN)   At age 60, Erin Gray is now a celebrity handler at events such as Dragon*Con. (w/ yes you would like an angry fist of god pic)  (cnn.com) (223)
(My Fox DC)   Cops: So...we have these pictures of you stealing your opponent's campaign signs. Candidate: Actually, what you're looking at, is me helping the community grow by focusing on the needs of the citizens. Cops: Nice  (myfoxdc.com) (68)
(CNN)   Having nothing else to do, NASA passes the time by helping with the Chilean miner rescue effort  (cnn.com) (45)
(SMH)   Miss Australia donates her body to good causes. BRB, registering as a charity  (smh.com.au) (17)
(SMH)   Hot redhead on top down under, again  (smh.com.au) (56)
(Cincinnati Enquirer)   You know things have gotten primitive in Cincy when the gangbangers start using a bow and arrow for drivebys  (news.cincinnati.com) (69)
(USA Today)   Steel columns salvaged from the WTC site are being installed at the entrance of the 9/11 museum. Hope they cleared off any remaining thermite  (usatoday.com) (53)
(My Fox DC)   Doctor will stop at nothing to ensure his patient's health even if it means he has to suck her nipple during a breast exam. Wait, what?  (myfoxdc.com) (61)
(Gawker)   Shocking new research reveals that one third of young Britons drink to get drunk. Presumably the rest drink to stay drunk  (gawker.com) (26)
(Craigslist)   "Bring your cat to the gangbang" day turned out badly for this girl  (i.imgur.com) (146)
(Some Guy)   "Eccentrically dressed in open-necked shirts, gold chains and tight trousers, the swarthy, afro-haired kamakis formed a class of their own"  (couriermail.com.au) (21)
(Some Guy)   Things you're not allowed to keep in your home: grenades, missiles, rocket launchers, cannons. That sort of thing  (swns.com) (51)
(Washington Post)   Who loses when fiscal austerity sweeps a continent? Scientists  (washingtonpost.com) (113)
(Breitbart.com)   Nevada considers a unique way to earn income: for just $25, you can speed all you want for 24 hours. Yeah...this will end well  (breitbart.com) (86)
(Wall Street Journal)   Photoshop this fish being refastened  (online.wsj.com) (19)
(Huffington Post)   The new "Three R's of School": Reading, wRiting, and Rape  (huffingtonpost.com) (146)
(Lincoln Journal-Star)   Prison inmate visits the facility doctor, who finds the man had a shard of glass lodged in his arm for 16 years due to him smashing in a window. So, the prisoner is suing the hospital and doctor that originally treated him  (journalstar.com) (39)
(Telegraph)   Scientists find reason why not cleaning your teeth caries risks for heart attacks  (telegraph.co.uk) (48)
(BBC)   People with a severe mental illness are no more likely to be violent than anyone else. My girlfriend's ring marks on my face come from sleeping on her hands  (bbc.co.uk) (29)
(New Zealand Herald)   Amidst the devastation of the New Zealand earthquake lies an intolerable silent horror: beer shortage  (nzherald.co.nz) (22)
(Daily Mail)   American version of Joseph Fritzl arrested in Ohio, and you thought farked up shiat like that only happened in Australia  (dailymail.co.uk) (73)
(Yahoo)   Rare color footage of London blitz found on eve of 70th anniversary  (news.yahoo.com) (34)
(CNN)   Old and busted: Medical Marijuana. New Hotness: Medical 'Shrooms  (cnn.com) (128)
(CNN)   General Petraeus says burning the Quran could betray us  (cnn.com) (426)
(Bloomberg)   Best Korea bowling game based on The Dude. This aggression will not stand, man  (bloomberg.com) (38)
(BusinessWeek)   $75,000 a year. That's is the exact income amount you need for money to buy you happiness. Everybody below that? Bunch of angry assholes  (businessweek.com) (152)
(Pressconnects)   Mayor of a city gets a speeding ticket. Being a model citizen for everyone, he decides to plead guilty and pay the fine. Just kidding, he decides to fight the ticket because he believes the police were influenced by politics  (pressconnects.com) (43)

Mon September 06, 2010
(newson6.com)   ♫ Let's all go to the lobby ♫ Let's all go to the lobby ♫ Let's all go to the lobby ♫ And extinguish that blaze ♫  (newson6.com) (37)
(LA Times)   L.A. school named after Al Gore to highlight awareness of envionmental issues, bloated windbags  (latimesblogs.latimes.com) (69)
(Telegraph)   Iran gets past crucial nuclear threshold, third level of Battletoads  (telegraph.co.uk) (127)
(Spiegel)   Photoshop these surfing Oktoberfest revelers  (spiegel.de) (20)
(The Consumerist)   18% of people think that the economy is just fine, that "Duke Nukem Forever" will come out in 2011  (consumerist.com) (65)
(Some Guy)   The coolest photos of the aftermath of the New Zealand earthquake you will see all week  (crashbang.co.nz) (150)
(Lancashire Evening Post)   A group of British women will paint ceramics with their nipples to raise funds, penises, for breast cancer research  (lep.co.uk) (83)
(The New York Times)   The coolest interactive graph of what soldiers eat you will see today  (nytimes.com) (250)
(Some Guy)   "Dispatch- this is Engine One, we're gonna need 2 tons of butter and 4,000 lobster bibs"  (bangordailynews.com) (40)
(Boston Globe)   Woman never even bothers to open boxes of great-great-granduncle's things stored in attic. Nephew inherits it all. Auction expected to fetch in the millions  (boston.com) (88)
(Telegraph)   French police are fining British drivers over their lack of proper fashion sense  (telegraph.co.uk) (61)
(BBC)   Bad things to bring in to show and tell: The pipe bomb you just found in the playground  (bbc.co.uk) (40)
(Herald Sun)   Teacher receives achievement award one day after female student performs oral sex on him. Now THAT one's going up on the mantle  (heraldsun.com.au) (154)
(Some Sunset)   Photoshop this body in motion  (bigpicture.ru) (33)
(Some Guy)   Just like with the Wall Street bankers, Obama decides to favor a handful of Americans over everyone else  (theadvertiser.com) (320)
(Telegraph)   Meet Edward Hernandez, a 24-year-old man stuck in a body the size of a 2-year-old. Clearly somebody has never heard of lube  (telegraph.co.uk) (93)
(Baytown Sun)   Ticket camera company sues to block referendum on ticket cameras, saying that letting voters decide is a violation of those voters' rights  (baytownsun.com) (198)
(USA Today)   Just because you hooked up with some slut for a one-night stand doesn't mean you can't have a beautiful long-term relationship with her down her the road  (usatoday.com) (123)
(BBC) Video For no discernible reason at all other than "why not?", Englishman invents a dinner table capable of doing 100mph  (bbc.co.uk) (44)
(Some Inventor)   When 81 years you reach, be as cool as this guy you will not  (chronicle.augusta.com) (29)
(Washington Post)   Schools are now posting caloric information in their cafeterias to help students make intelligent choices between "mystery loaf," "cardboard pizza," and "meat surprise"  (washingtonpost.com) (77)
(Daily Mail)   As close to a perfect Daily Mail headline as you're ever likely to see  (dailymail.co.uk) (125)
(Daily Mail)   If Buzz Lightyear was a guido  (dailymail.co.uk) (70)
(My Fox Orlando)   Any man that ever fumbled to remove a woman's bra in the past is really going to be fighting a losing battle now  (myfoxorlando.com) (71)
(Boston Herald)   Boston transit lost and found contains cell phones, limbs, breast milk, and lots and lots of bibles abandoned by riders convinced they were already in hell  (bostonherald.com) (45)
(Fox News)   WHO is already working on a follow-up album to last year's "Swine Flu Pandemic" flop, tentatively titled "Mass Hysteria 24/7: The Cable News Ratings War Solution"  (foxnews.com) (82)
(Times Herald Record)   You know all those sappy stories about how everybody comes together to set up the wedding for the woman who's dying of leukemia? Here's what happens when it turns out she was full of shiat  (recordonline.com) (126)
(Telegraph)   13-year-old boy finally beginning to master the use of his bionic hand. In unrelated news, medical researchers are developing innovative new ways to treat severe chafing injuries  (telegraph.co.uk) (66)
(SFGate)   Homeless in SF believe McDonald's is conspiring against them--by eliminating the Dollar Menu. Board of Supervisors calling for company to pay their "fair share", demanding new Equal Justice Menu  (sfgate.com) (316)
(Some Guy)   Things you find in your back garden: tools, sheds, prisoner of war camps  (swns.com) (18)
(YouTube)   The coolest video about a wildlife reserve for cats you will see today  (youtube.com) (65)
(Telegraph)   Some residents trying to change the name of their street. Apparently they don't want to live on Butt Hole Road  (telegraph.co.uk) (75)
(Some Guys)   Photoshop these linemen  (bigpicture.ru) (27)
(Some Guy)   You may be addicted to Twitter if you post a Tweet while you're having a heart attack and keep giving updates while doctors try to save your life  (couriermail.com.au) (67)
(Huffington Post)   While you are telling your summer guests to finally go home, here are 11 facts about Labor Day which you probably didn't know  (huffingtonpost.com) (46)
(Some Guy)   Bad: you crash your car. Worse: your car flips over. Fark: you are cited for failing to keep the wreck in one lane  (romenews-tribune.com) (35)
(CBS Chicago)   Seriously slow day over at CBS: Popping pimples is bad for your face. It's not new zits Fark  (cbs2chicago.com) (79)
(The Consumerist)   If you're dumb enough to put your junk mail on top of your Blackberry and your mom throws it all away and someone fishes it out of the trash, don't biatch and moan when Verizon expects you to shell out $6,000 for all the overage charges  (consumerist.com) (108)
(WIVB)   You know what they say -- people who live with glass front doors shouldn't throw swords at their wives. Or something like that  (wivb.com) (12)
(Boston Globe)   Police surprised to find multiple people willing to take credit for the five-foot marijuana plant growing in the backyard  (boston.com) (36)
(WIVB)   "Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Interrupting gunfire." "Interrup-" *BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM*  (wivb.com) (38)

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