Drew Curtis' FARK.com

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Not News Sports Business Geek Showbiz Politics Music Video All

Mon November 23, 2009

Source	Fark Headline		Comments
(TheSunNews.com)		Today's most incoherent actual headline: "Trooper fired after hat fib wants back in" (thesunnews.com)	(75)
(Some Guy)		Photoshop this held horse (2.bp.blogspot.com)	(33)
(Drew)		How the Resale Subculture drives Black Friday, why Cyber Monday is a hoax, and some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 11/15 to 11/21 (fark.com)	(63)
(KSNT)		Under the new administration, sex slavery for the mentally handicapped is no longer on the list of Medicare-approved therapies (ksnt.com)	(72)
		Van carrying cheerleaders flips, twirls, spins and splits on the interstate (www2.tbo.com)	(62)
		Doctors say rarely-performed "hemicorporectomy" procedure can add years to life of those who need it. But you'd be half the man you used to be (upi.com)	(94)
		Musicians on the road: the insanity, the groupies, the parmesan-crusted duck breast with balsamic reduction (Sponsored link) (ifc.com)	(26)
		Citing huge demand and turnout, NYC health authorities happily confirm .00143% of the city was vaccinated against H1N1 this weekend (1010wins.com)	(88)
		Half of drivers age 18-34 admit texting on the road; the other half reponded with ;) (suntimes.com)	(254)
(Some Guy)		If you're going to hide a sex offender at your home, maybe you shouldn't work for the State Police (wboc.com)	(76)
		Budget cuts, office closures, and staff reductions may mean that visits to the DMV won't provide the same joy-filled blissful escape from the everyday that they once did (usatoday.com)	(93)
		Not news: Transit police officer forces passenger's head into a reinforced glass window. News: Window shatters and cuts the passenger and the officer up. FARK: Passenger is charged with assault for cutting the officer (cnn.com)	(247)
(Some Guy)		The coolest CG portraits you'll see today (noupe.com)	(116)
		Authorities decry assault on 12-year-old California boy as a result of "Kick A Ginger Day" internet posting, but add that if anyone wants to punch David Caruso, that would be ok (suntimes.com)	(134)
(Some Guy)		Vatican hosts conference on extrasolar life, highlights need for that whole warp-drive thing (christianpost.com)	(98)
		He brings a shotgun, you bring a bagel cart. That's the Orlando way (orlandosentinel.com)	(27)
(Some Guy)		CDC Releases H1N1.6 Service Pack 2 (NSFWish ads) (crystalair.com)	(37)
		Welcome home Captain. Thank you for serving your country. Get ready for your Big Mac attack (nypost.com)	(147)
		Woman dies after crashing a stolen U-Haul truck. It's a very moving story (khou.com)	(64)
		Housing prices, bombs go through the roof in Kabul (news.bbc.co.uk)	(14)
(News-Press)		The dream: solo deer-hunting in the heart of the Everglades. The reality: limping lost through a swamp in your underwear, surviving on raw catfish and frogs (news-press.com)	(109)
		'Anti monkey butt' powder gets to the bottom of things (hamptonroads.com)	(86)
(The Next Reporter)		Charles Manson... you ARE the father (thenextreporter.com)	(226)
		Photoshop this "Picture this" (spiegel.de)	(25)
		Dude, hand me that BB gun and hold my beer. This is gonna be awesome (miamiherald.com)	(46)
(The News Tribune)		If you and a passenger crashed into a river near Tacoma, rescue crews hope to find you and puyallup real soon (blog.thenewstribune.com)	(47)
		The origin of species found in British toilet. The book, that is (abc.net.au)	(64)
		58-year old Chesley "Sully" Sullenburger says that his heroic landing of a jet in the Hudson river brought him "rock star sex" with his wife (usatoday.com)	(133)
(Some Really Dumb Guy)		How do you take a not-so-serious crime to the next level? Gesture to the judge that you're going to slice her throat, of course (ksallink.com)	(36)
(Wausatosa Now)		Can there really be too many places to buy beer in one city? (wauwatosanow.com)	(46)
		Couple leaves their brand new dryer on the sidewalk, right next to their old dryer, get upset when the city hauls both units to the dump (dailymail.com)	(79)
		County jail inmates denied hot meals for past five weeks because of broken kettles for boiling and heating. As God is my witness, I thought turnkeys could fry (ajc.com)	(59)
		So it turns out you're not fat because you're eating too many calories, carbs or fat. It's apparently that you're not eating enough Jesus (dailymail.co.uk)	(117)

Sun November 22, 2009

	Not news: woman wants twins. News: woman already has thirteen kids. Fark: names include Peppermint, Echo, Rogue, Frodo, Morpheus, Blackbird and Voorhees. The Sun is there, and there, and there, and there (thesun.co.uk)	(237)
	Photoshop this immune system test (farm4.static.flickr.com)	(41)
	Lots and lots of people would rather die than continue working for France Telecom (cbsnews.com)	(158)
	Doctors discover patient trapped in a 23-year 'coma' has been conscious all along (dailymail.co.uk)	(346)
	Despite efforts to discourage them, Iraqi refugees keep flocking to Detroit, since living in a war-torn third world hellhole reminds them of home (msnbc.msn.com)	(143)
	Congratulations to the unnamed motorist who received Virginia's first $1,000 traffic ticket for his/her fourth HOV (high occupancy vehicle) lane violation (washingtonpost.com)	(210)
(NBC Bay Area)	If you are in Salinas, CA on Tuesday night and find yourself at a DUI checkpoint, you will either be going to jail or getting a free turkey (nbcbayarea.com)	(86)
(THR)	Next on the docket: Case No. 1950cv05050: Mouse vs. Duck for trademark infringement. Bonus: The summons was served by Goofy (thresq.com)	(31)
	The coolest Human-Powered Road-Going Viking Boat you'll see today (statesman.com)	(51)
	Kid with terminal cancer is close to death and doesn't want to burden his family with restoring his prized Pontiac Fiero. Help comes in from all over the world. Hero tag runs over Dumbass tag for restoring a Fiero (startribune.com)	(167)
(Marietta Daily Journal)	Georgia's Supreme Court made it legal for 16-year-olds to fark their teachers last year, but wouldn't you know it, some party-poopers are trying to change that. Why won't they think of the children? (mdjonline.com)	(60)
(Some Guy)	When your guys are already out there on camera beating up protesters and gadflies, it's a really bad time to start a fight with the Boy Scouts (moelane.com)	(78)
(Some NASA Contest)	Design a patch for the final shuttle mission. Difficulty: has to include mission number STS-134 (collectspace.com)	(44)
	Another sign of a reviving economy: Michael Jackson's glove sells for $350,000, his fedora for $22,000 and his collection of Diana Ross albums for $10,000 (hosted.ap.org)	(36)
	Flooding continues in Lancashire. Maybe if they drilled some drainage holes...about 4,000 should do the trick (lancashiretelegraph.co.uk)	(77)
	Man to marry his virtual girlfriend this weekend. Newlyweds will honeymoon at resort basement with a window view outside (foxnews.com)	(117)
	Ahmadinejad in Tehran has a plot / But the US and Israelis think not / So they'll ready their planes / Cos they think he's insane / And build the world's biggest glass parking lot (news.bbc.co.uk)	(166)
	Be glad for the tryptophan in the turkey on Thanksgiving. It blocks the 9 aphrodisacs from turning family dinner into a hillbilly honeymoon (examiner.com)	(38)
	Las Vegas passes law requiring all dogs and cats be sterilized. You bet your dog wants a bus ticket. So does your cat (examiner.com)	(215)
	Brits up in arms over proposal to have their national health system provide counseling to couples whose marriages are on the rocks. Not like there's any link between relationship stability and health, after all (mailonsunday.co.uk)	(50)
	46 years ago today, a single man killed JFK (jfk-assassination.de)	(407)
	Tween pop star holds concert in mall. A twangle of tweens riot before show begins. Police arrest tween star's manager for failing to twitter to the tweens about the twangle. All twue (cbs4.com)	(106)
	Nurturing, caring and not-at-all helicoptery Manhattan parents hire tutors to get their kids ahead on the big entrance exam...for kindergarten (nytimes.com)	(120)
	Iran to conduct another photoshop exercise (cnn.com)	(23)
	Photoshop these desktop dispensers (inapcache.boston.com)	(15)
	Earth's weather like you have never seen it before... with a little help from NASA's GEOS-5 atmospheric general circulation model (gizmodo.com)	(83)
(Zim Diaspora)	Running errands for his job, man is kidnapped by 3 women, locked in a church, forced to have sex, then dumped at a shopping center. Cool story, bro (zimdiaspora.com)	(97)
	The Statue of Liberty. Mount Rushmore. The Washington Monument. And now, Billy Carter's gas station. Wait, what? (chicagotribune.com)	(31)
	Britain's new internet law is as bad as everyone's been saying, and worse. Much, much worse (boingboing.net)	(157)
(Asbury Park Press)	Macy's Thanksgiving parade changes route; Charlie Brown balloon to get a come-on from the whores on Seventh Avenue (app.com)	(46)
(Some Guy)	School board expels student for having legally possessed, unloaded shotguns off school property. In other news, schools are using dogs to search parked cars anywhere they damn well please, because it's for the children (chicoer.com)	(255)
(Amazon)	The greatest Amazon customer reviews you'll read since the Tuscan Milk. Bonus product pictures (amazon.com)	(70)
(Tech Generation)	Scottish "brain scientist" urges schools to ditch computers for something called "books." With picture of what books might look like (tgdaily.com)	(41)
	Ft. Hood shooter paralyzed, incontinent, reports Journal of the World's Tiniest Violin (abcnews.go.com)	(298)
	If you are receiving monthly insurance checks because you have claimed you are too depressed to work, it would be wise not to post pictures of yourself smiling in a bikini on the beach on Facebook (google.com)	(194)
(ABC27)	Radiation leak reported at Three Mile Island nuclear plant, no danger to public reported. No, this is not a repeat from 1979 (whtm.com)	(103)
	Fun-loving San Francisco cable car decides to give passengers an impromptu reminder of Newton's First Law of Motion (foxnews.com)	(35)
(Some Guy)	Photoshop this flagrant foul (markshannon.com)	(30)
(Some Guy)	From The Article: He confessed saying he had snapped when he saw her shock at finding him masturbating while pulling on a scarf tied tight around his neck (croatiantimes.com)	(65)