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Thu July 27, 2017
Source     Fark Headline Comments
(Denver Post)
 
 
 
Dealer "22 Jump Street" substitutes broccoli for weed, will shoot you for refusing to finishing your vegetables
source: denverpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
The hits just keep coming, folks
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Game. On
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chron)
 
 
 
Teacher that cartwheeled without underwear given probation for her cunning stunt
source: chron.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 638: "Statuary 2". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
source: farktography.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Wed July 26, 2017
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
Antivaxxers in Australia find a pricipal caught sayof and use this one weird trick to get their movie screened as an organic food documentary
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
To prevent another Snowmageddon worsened by dumbass drivers, Vancouver considers fining motorists who aren't using snow tires in wintry conditions. The presumed alternative is to revoke their Canadian card
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Some French teenagers spend their summer vacations on the Côte d'Azur or the Alps. Others come to New Jersey and break into cars
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Las Vegas Review Journal)
 
 
 
"Yes, I said a lot of crazy things. I'm ashamed of them actually. Looking back at them, it's like, wow, obviously I shouldn't drink." It's not a poster in a TFD thread, it's a defendant from the 2015 Bundy standoff in Nevada
source: reviewjournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Pick a famous person from history and give them a Fark username. Difficulty: "Godwin" is taken
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
What do the people in your state hate the most? Here's a handy map to find out. Oh, and Utah, you're not fooling anyone
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Shanghaiist)
 
 
 
Burglar disguises himself as ghost to make it past security camera, still gets caught. Claims he would have gotten away with it too, if it weren't for those meddling cops
source: shanghaiist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KGUN 9 Tucson)
 
 
 
It wasn't me, it was the one-armed, machete-wielding clown
source: kgun9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Relax, Monctonians, that thing in the woods you've been obsessing over for the past 50+ years was merely a CIA spy camera. "Dad would have been going around saying, 'I told you so, I told you so.' He would have been pretty excited"
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buzzfeed)
 
 
 
Trump: Military or Trans, you can't be both. Canadian Forces: Join us
source: buzzfeed.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 23 Tulsa)
 
 
 
69 years ago today Harry Truman ordered the racial desegregation of the US military
source: fox23.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Toddler who was delivered on the side of Texas highway celebrates first birthday by having tea party with sheriff's deputy who delivered her (with 'Daaawwww' pics)
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouGov)
 
 
 
Go figure. Most climate change believers haven't changed their lifestyles, just want you minions to change yours
source: today.yougov.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 13 Orlando)
 
 
 
Please note: no matter how much you love your pets, you're still not allowed to bury them in a public park
source: mynews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Then: Three percent. Second Amendment solutions. Patriotism. Now: I was manipulated into seeking fame
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Photoshop this avid swimmer
source: static01.nyt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Tank driver runs over suspected car bomb vehicle. It still blows up. With video
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NASA)
 
 
 
As the solar eclipse approaches, NASA puts out safety tips to avoid injuries to your eyes. In other news, Fark braces for rash of 'Dumbass' 'Fail' and 'Florida' submissions
source: nasa.gov   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
What's some minor thing that people commonly get wrong that you can't help but correct them even though you know you should let it slide?
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Apple supplier Foxconn announces plans to build new plant in Wisconsin, creating 13,000 jobs... just as soon as it builds that plant in Pennsylvania it announced in 2013
source: money.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
It looks like the CIA might be heading into twilight, spreading out their wings, jumping off the track, shoving into overdrive, and heading straight into the danger zone. Riding, if you will, into the danger zone
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wausau Daily Herald)
 
 
 
Cemetery's plan to hold outdoor screening of 'Ghostbusters' leaves many cold
source: wausaudailyherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Psychology Today)
 
 
 
Psychiatrists did not say that they can now diagnose Trump in the media, just like every other talking head does. That will be $250, please
source: psychologytoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Woman calls RSPCA to help her remove a giant spider she found under the stairs. Upon arrival, it was determined the spider was, in fact, plastic
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Photoshop Theme: Movie mash-up posters
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KFOR Oklahoma City)
 
 
 
Car found wrapped in plastic and buried 16 years after owner reported it stolen in insurance scam. Kids were using it for a dirt bike jump. Why yes it has Oklahoma plates
source: kfor.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Woman sees dead mom watering plants on Google Heaven
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 23 Tulsa)
 
 
 
Peace officer attempts to detain a teenager for the crime of Mowing While Black, which in Texas is probably a real crime
source: fox23.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
Florida tops the list of 'best places for mancation,' because if you're going to do something stupid you might as well do it in Florida
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KFOR Oklahoma City)
 
 
 
Couple near completion of 40 year long cross country trek to visit every Cracker Barrel in the country
source: kfor.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
"I love being a writer. What I can't stand is the paperwork." ― Peter De Vries. This is your Fark Writer's thread, unproductive edition
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC 15)
 
 
 
Tucson brewery is going to create a beer made with recycled sewage. No word on a name yet; submitter thinks they should call it Number Tucson
source: abc15.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Independent)
 
 
 
Female Iranian TV host who promotes Islamic dress code caught on video drinking beer without hijab. Oops
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
Boobies
 
Topless woman arrested by sandwich police
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Amazing that this woman, 67, who has lived on one of the world's most remote islands for 40 years alone collecting horse skulls has not driven herself crazy yet
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
According to study, average Brit should be in prison
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Not news: Truck drops its load down the highway for miles and miles. Fark: It's rising yeasty bread dough that because of the heat, turned into a modern day blob and looked as if it were alive and climbing out of the truck
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
German scientists are on a mission to bake bread ... IN SPACE
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHNT Huntsville)
 
 
 
"Some Christians believe you can find God anywhere; even in a strip club"
source: whnt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTAE)
 
 
 
Pickup truck slams into house. On the scene reporter interviews homeowner who apparently drank coffee until the news crew showed up
source: wtae.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop the sun setting on this humble abode
source: medievalarchives.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
"Buttock surgeon killed in suspected revenge attack"
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Instead of potato chips, package contained king cobra. Would not buy again
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KHOU Houston)
 
 
 
Panhandler's sign: "Too ugly to strip, but will let you cuss at me for a dollar." Shootings are 25 cents extra
source: khou.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Intel agencies say that Best Korean missile could reach US in a year. That's one slow missile
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(STLToday)
 
 
 
If you're a city employee and have been breaking into female coworkers' homes and stealing their underwear, feminine products and toiletries, it's not a good idea to get caught taking pictures up their skirts at work
source: stltoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pittsburgh Tribune-Review)
 
 
 
The only thing worse than drinking and driving is snapchatting while drinking and driving
source: triblive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WLOX Biloxi)
 
 
 
New theme park opens in Alabama and locals are upset that the rides have a 225 lb. per person weight limit
source: wlox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Seal pup walks 10K for a drink of milk and you're struggling to get off your couch
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Tue July 25, 2017
(Click On Detroit)
 
 
 
"The Michigan Supreme Court ruled Tuesday that sitting in a car in your own driveway while drunk constitutes drunken driving"
source: clickondetroit.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Ride 'em cowdog
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
You may not find beauty pageant queens very interesting, but this one is a 91-year-old who has led an extraordinary life
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Only ten days remain until the 2nd Annual World Dog Surfing Championships. Book your last minute flights and hotels now
source: surfdogchampionships.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
"My future is bright. No drugs in sight." Yeah, wrong on both counts
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(5 News Fayetteville)
 
 
 
Bad: You're trapped upside down in your car. Worse: Train tracks
source: 5newsonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Herald)
 
 
 
Family retrieving murdered man's belongings find pieces of him police overlooked
source: bostonherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buffalo News)
 
 
 
Guy driving the car with no doors, no windshield and an ax in the roof may not have been totally sober
source: buffalonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bradenton Herald)
 
 
 
Petition launched to replace Confederate monument with statue of Snooty the Manatee, running the risk of future generations of Floridians believing the Civil War included trained manatee navies
source: bradenton.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this carriage
source: img0.etsystatic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
If you stole hundreds of grenades and explosive charges from Portugal, pretty much every authority in Europe would like to speak with you
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Senate: 97-2. House 419-3. Veto this
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
News: Men arrested trying to buy drugs. Dumbass tag: At a police station from a police officer
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC 15)
 
 
 
Arizona craft breweries to make beer out of treated sewage water. Makers of Bud Light not impressed
source: abc15.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Baby killer whale dies. Babies everywhere breathe sighs of relief
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Opposing Views)
 
 
 
British police post photo of attractive young officer. Sexist comments have gotten so bad they've upgraded their official response from "Oh, I say" to "Wot's all this then?"
source: opposingviews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Swiss chainsaw attacker arrested after slipping through holes in manhunt
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Cop shoots innocent victim. It was himself but he was innocent
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
If your phone falls down a trash chute, just let it go, man
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Oxford council threatens homeless with £2,500 fine. That'll teach them to be destitute and starving
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
Weeners
 
Sperm count drop 'may lead to human extinction'
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Bad: Your Uber driver is obviously distracted. Worse: By the woman giving him a bj in the front seat
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this pointer
source: main-designyoutrust.netdna-ssl.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Have some background on Slovenia...home of...Melania Trump and maybe that place where the kids were locked up in Chitty Chitty Bang Bang
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mining Gazette)
 
 
 
Guys working on a bridge work crew are being assaulted by idiots who think they aren't working fast enough
source: mininggazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
PSA: Kill it with fire is not a good way to accomplish your mission when it's a bug under the bed
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
Inventor of unique topping for French fries gives it the not-offputting-at-all name "man dip"
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Alaska Dispatch News)
 
 
 
Sorry you got sick on our cruise, but you didn't buy the travel insurance so we're just going to leave you to die in Alaska
source: adn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Business Journals)
 
 
 
Maryland brewers concerned that the state may be lagging in hop production, which would in turn force them to actually craft a variety of quality beers instead of just thinking up quirky plays on the word "hop" for their labels
source: bizjournals.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Minneapolis Star Tribune)
 
 
 
Justine Damond may have slapped police car, making it perfectly reasonable for officers to shoot her
source: startribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
My favorite color is Hitler. Wait... what?
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Patheos)
 
 
 
Ken Ham, who sold the Ark Park from his for-profit LLC to his non-profit church group to get out of paying thousands in safety fees, sells it back to his for-profit LLC to keep its millions in tax rebates
source: patheos.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
Massachusetts Supreme Court says it's illegal to hold people on ICE detainers
source: bostonglobe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Archeologists search for biblical tabernacle that housed the deadliest weapon of all time. So far, no one's face has melted off
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Cop responds to noise complaint about kids playing football in the street by joining the game. "Do you want me to do a police report, because you just got robbed"
source: newyorkupstate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Forget floods, hurricanes or antarctic ice. Climate Change is helping spread a tick that makes humans allergic to red meat. EVERYBODY (finally) PANIC
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(FOX6Now)
 
 
 
If you're going to kill yourself, at least be considerate of others. Man calls 9-1-1 to say he's going to kill himself, so they should hurry due to his organ donor status
source: fox6now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Talk Radio (UK))
 
 
 
Woman gets infected with strange new virus by stray cat in Japan. Unfortunately it doesn't give her sexy super powers
source: talkradio.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 13 Orlando)
 
 
 
Black women choosing guns for self-defense, in move that simultaneously deters attackers and the NRA
source: mynews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Indy100)
 
 
 
If you're trying to flee ISIS by posing as a woman, there's one VERY important feature you need to consider when changing your appearance
source: indy100.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Through a Scanner Farkly: The 2017 Fark Fiction Anthology has arrived. You'll laugh, you'll cry, you may want more bourbon
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vice)
 
 
 
Road Raging Dad: "You're under a citizen's arrest! Put your hands on the car and prepare to die!" Rest of the world: "That's not how this works. That's not how ANY of this works"
source: vice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Fox News is now number two, in more ways than one
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Independent)
 
 
 
US Navy fires warning shots at Iranians
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Michigan Radio)
 
 
 
New ad campaign from Dan Gilbert proclaims "See Detroit Like We Do". Apparently, they have a really good ability to not see 85% of the city
source: michiganradio.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 40 Sacramento)
 
 
 
"While in the back of a patrol car on Interstate 80, a suspect stripped off his clothes then defecated and ate his own feces, spitting them at Richmond officers"
source: fox40.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WLWT)
 
 
 
University of Cincinnati cop who killed an unarmed black man for not having a front license plate, and whose bodycam footage showed his story to be a total lie, has charges dismissed with prejudice
source: wlwt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Photoshop theme: The adventures of Florida Man
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
North Carolina church accused of bringing hundreds of teens and young adults from its sister congregations in Brazil to the U.S. and forcing them to work for free and beating them when they disobeyed. Umm, didn't we fight a war about this already?
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jalopnik)
 
 
 
The first rule of Fish Club is: You do not talk about Fish Club. The second rule of Fish Club is: You do not talk about Fish Club
source: jalopnik.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post UK)
 
 
 
British cooking soon to benefit from the use of traditional American ingredients like chlorine, petroleum, acid and hormones
source: huffingtonpost.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Atlanta Journal Constitution)
 
 
 
Pilot said the Nazi design was just for fun
source: ajc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Russia decides turnabout is fair play
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Al Jazeera)
 
 
 
Let's see how things are going since Trump intervened in Yemen. Oh my
source: aljazeera.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Springfield News-Leader)
 
 
 
If you want your license plate to be DRGDLR, DRUNK, LGLP0T, LOADED, LSD, NTOXC8, REEFER, ST0NED and 1MDRNK, D1MEBG or BONG, don't worry. Missouri goes to great lengths to smarten your stupidity
source: news-leader.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
What a pisser
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Duffel Blog)
 
 
 
Air Force says F-35 pilots may be too reliant on oxygen while flying
source: duffelblog.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Drive)
 
 
 
U.S. missile defense racks up another perfect success, except for the part where a sailor hit the big red button labeled "self-destruct"
source: thedrive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 

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