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Tue December 12, 2017
Source     Fark Headline Comments
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Article asks "should we cook for our dogs?". Your dog wants steak...rare...with a banana cream reduction and peanut butter garnish
source: thetakeout.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Loudoun Times)
 
 
 
Naked man running along highway near Dulles airport, looking for TSA agent with warm hands
source: loudountimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Root)
 
 
 
The racist mother who had the stupid idea to go viral with her bullied son, then was not racist, is actually indeed racist...and stupid. Subby hopes the GoFundMe money will cover all the therapy sessions her poor son will need
source: thegrapevine.theroot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
When you make a £100 bet with your boyfriend stating that he wouldn't be able to limit his booze intake to just one glass a night until Christmas, make sure you specify the size of the glass
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
25,000 climate scientists fly to New Orleans for booze, strippers and the American Geophysical Union's fall meeting, emitting 30,000 tons of CO2 in the process
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Kentucky lawmaker molested his daughter's friend, cops closed the case, press did some digging, lawmakers from both parties want him to resign, but Gov. Matt Bevin (R-epulsive) says "hold on there"
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toronto Star)
 
 
 
$100 a gram. Oh wait, that's cop math. Make it $10 a gram
source: thestar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Has Banksy finally been revealed?
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Trimming Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this tree-trimmer
source: cdn2.newsok.biz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Man runs back into burning building to save A: His children? B: His pets? or C: His phone?
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Clickhole)
 
 
 
Breitbart has a pre-written web page template for when a conservative or alt-right pol gets accused of sexual assault or misconduct... and it was accidentally made live on their site for a few minutes today
source: clickhole.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Denver Post)
 
 
 
Well, that's a new way of getting fired from a teaching job
source: denverpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KING 5 News)
 
 
 
"What are you in for?" "Murder. You?" "Armed robbery. What about you?" "Bark, bark"
source: king5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
It's time to play media fear-mongering MadLibs. Your (common object) contains (number) times more bacteria than a toilet seat
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Patheos)
 
 
 
Former Hindu-turned Christian 'prophet' says he visited Heaven last year and knew Trump would be elected because "The people of Heaven decided he would." In other news, tickets to Hell increasing in popularity
source: patheos.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Connecticut Post)
 
 
 
$10 beer pong bet turns into $15.6 million settlement
source: ctpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
According to study, more motorists die on a full moon, which is no surprise since it's very hard to drive and expose your bare arse at the same time
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Hanover Evening Sun)
 
 
 
Don't you just hate it when you fire your shotgun at someone and that person was imaginary?
source: eveningsun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
Fire caused by air conditioner. You had one job
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Charles "wrong way" Jenkins, a U.S. soldier who defected TO North Korea in 1965 to avoid the Vietnam war, and was tortured and held captive there until 2005, has passed away at age 77
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Britain's new public enemy number one revealed as...... *spins wheel*.... Peppa Pig
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Verge)
 
 
 
Ex-Facebook exec: We control the horizontal and the vertical. We can shape your vision to anything our imagination can conceive. For the foreseeable future, we will control all that you see and hear
source: theverge.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 2 St. Louis)
 
 
 
Bagpiper concert raises money for wounded police officer. Hasn't he suffered enough?
source: fox2now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Connecticut Post)
 
 
 
Son of Sam needs emergency heart surgery. No word on whether his dog is his healthcare proxy
source: ctpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Today's Fark-ready headline: "Smokers who get boob jobs have a high risk of their nipples falling off - but blood-sucking LEECHES can save them"
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
Merriam-Webster's: Our 2017 word of the year is "Feminism." "Menninism" still not a thing
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 2 St. Louis)
 
 
 
Police use amusing social media posts to help catch criminals. "Jorts-wearing suspect" not amused
source: fox2now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wordpress)
 
 
 
Photoshop this happy hiker
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Charles Manson died of cardiac arrest brought on by colon cancer. So, he suffered
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
Florida man urinates in middle of Steak 'n Shake in front of dozens of customers
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
San Francisco mayor Ed Lee heads off to the great sanctuary city in the sky
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oregon Live)
 
 
 
Kim Jong Un just needs to commit apartheid to have his "Crimes Against Humanity" scorecard all checked off
source: oregonlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
DeVos to defrauded students: Fark you
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TreeHugger)
 
 
 
People in Iceland really take their elves seriously
source: treehugger.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Billings Gazette)
 
 
 
Yellowstone's bighorns are suffering from a scab-causing virus spread during mating season
source: billingsgazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Drunk driver tells the cops that his name is Burger King. He then proceeds to introduce his wife, Wendy, his son Carl Jr., and the Five Guys in his trunk
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Global News (Canada))
 
 
 
Dog named Rascal finds his forever home. After losing 85% of his blood to FLEA infestation. Previous owner finally being charged
source: globalnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oregon Live)
 
 
 
If you accidentally tase a cop, you should at least get him a cake
source: oregonlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Times of San Diego)
 
 
 
PSA: Looting houses in empty, fire-evacuated neighborhoods is sure to draw someone's attention. Especially if you're doing it while under the influence
source: timesofsandiego.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Mon December 11, 2017
(Jezebel)
 
 
 
Woman gets kicked off Spirit Airlines flight for a) smoking, b) raging, c) breastfeeding
source: jezebel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Remember the good old days when all you had to worry about was your babysitter stealing from your change bowl and raiding the liquor cabinet while you were out?
source: hudsonvalleypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Root)
 
 
 
Update: No one can figure out what the fark is going on with the Kimberly Jones/bullying/MMA/racism mashup on Facebook and Instagram
source: thegrapevine.theroot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
China announces plans to recreate Shakespeare's birthplace of Stratford-upon-Avon. Next: will announce plans to recreate Charles Dickens' birthplace, Walt Whitman's birthplace, Stephanie Meyer's birthplace
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark NotNewsletter: It's time to vote... for Fark headlines
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kansas City)
 
 
 
Asshats who tried to blow up mosque are seeking "Trump Voters" to serve on Jury
source: kansascity.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 2 St. Louis)
 
 
 
Caller reports teenagers driving around in police cruiser. Department promises Officer Rock is over 21, a bit flattered
source: fox2now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this pyramid
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TuneIn)
 
 
 
Tonight on Paul's Memory Bank (8PM ET) as we wind down 2017 we see what kind of deranged individual subby is by listening to the top 33 songs on his iPhone
source: tunein.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boing Boing)
 
 
 
We replaced this package sitting on a front porch with a box rigged with firecrackers. Let's see if anyone notices
source: boingboing.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KOIN Portland)
 
 
 
"I will kill everybody on this plane" - quote from (a) terrorist, (b) suicidal pilot, (c) Oregon woman who was busted for smoking in the lavatory
source: koin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KAKE Wichita)
 
 
 
What do you do with a drunken sailor? 10 1/2 pounds of Meth said the jailer? Bonus PSA - never look up spiced rum on Urban Dictionary
source: kake.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 4 Now Fort Myers)
 
 
 
Florida man learns the hard way that the phrase "don't pour gasoline on a fire" is not just an idiom
source: fox4now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 13 Orlando)
 
 
 
'Cocoa turns electrical boxes into art.' That's nothing, you should see what it can do to milk
source: mynews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
The official Vladimir Putin 2018 calendar is out
source: edition.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
We've finally found out what happened to Obama's Magic Weather Machine. It turns out that Kim Jong Un has it. Thanks Obama
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop these stalks
source: fthmb.tqn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Komo)
 
 
 
Baby milk maker issues global recall over salmonella fears. See, this is why you have to practice food safety when milking babies
source: komonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Convicted serial killer Todd Kohlhepp says there are many more victims who have not been discovered and he's in no mood to talk about them
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Herald)
 
 
 
Comic strip assignment about Hitler's rise raises questions at Gurnee school. Like, was Hitler really a pony?
source: dailyherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
Port Authority bomb suspect rode subway from Brooklyn to Manhattan blast site
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Want to become famous by recording viral videos of yourself doing dangerous stunts on tall buildings? Just remember, for every skyrocketing star, there's one going down quickly
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(War is Boring)
 
 
 
Someone fetch my fainting couch: Yet another scary Russian military program is probably vaporware
source: warisboring.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Meet the 8th highest-grossing YouTube "star," a 6-year-old who earned $11 Million un-boxing and playing with toys. Also, BareFark is still a bargain at $2.50 a month
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Saudi Arabia is going to test the Theory of Slippery Slopes by allowing movie theaters, women to drive
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wikimedia)
 
 
 
Photoshop this couple necking
source: upload.wikimedia.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
There's surge pricing and then there's yougottabefarkingkiddingme pricing
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
California wildfires are now larger than Boston and New York City, but how many Rhode Islands is that?
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
NewsFlash
 
Explosion at Manhattan bus terminal. On the left, not much information. Jumping to conclusions on the right
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Register)
 
 
 
Three years after threatening to press charges against an engineer for doing math without a license, the Oregon State Board of Examiners for Engineering and Land Surveying finally has the good sense to be embarrassed and drop the whole thing
source: theregister.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
California running out of prisoners to fight its wildfires. In other news, California uses prisoners to fight wildfires
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Woman accused of stealing 144 bottles of nail polish. This will varnish her good name
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cincinnati Enquirer)
 
 
 
What in the mother fark is a hit-skip in OHIOTUCKEY? Are these the same assholes who call soda, "pop" instead of Coke?
source: cincinnati.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Chicago)
 
 
 
Every Chicago police officer is now equipped with a malfunctioning body camera
source: nbcchicago.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
When you threaten someone's life on Twitter, try not to show your license plate
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
I bet all you cynical asshats who said Trump only wanted to shrink Bear's Ears National Park because Obama created it feel really stupid now knowing that he's really shrinking it because the Uranium Mining Lobby ordered him to
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
Famous shirtless protester from Charlotte is now a City Councillor who oversees the police
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
That's one way to win an election. Not a very SUBTLE way, though
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cincinnati Enquirer)
 
 
 
Every farking year. You know this wouldn't happen if they'd just nail Him down
source: cincinnati.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 

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