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Tue May 23, 2017
Source     Fark Headline Comments
(Haaretz)
 
 
 
Trump backed out of talking to Israeli Knesset over fear of heckling, what a sad sad snowflake
source: haaretz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Trump Swatted for Second Time
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
Good news, everybody. CEO pay is rising again -- they got an average 8.5 percent raise last year. Let's all pull a little harder and sacrifice a little more, and maybe we can get that number into the double digits this year. COME ON, WE CAN DO IT
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Two dead in Riverdale shooting. Suspect seen fleeing scene wearing crown, dropping burgers
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Sir Roger Moore is off to that Casino Royale in the sky
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
Data breach releases names of 16,000 Florida concealed weapon carriers, giving hackers a list of people to back slowly away from and leave the hell alone
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Des Moines Register)
 
 
 
Iowa businessman discovers "Conservative Humor" is a lousy legal defense
source: desmoinesregister.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Providence Journal)
 
 
 
Rhode Island finds locked vault in state house. Could contain old records or faceless horror
source: providencejournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC4i)
 
 
 
Man captures terrifying footage of massive spider carrying mouse up a fridge. Naturally, being Australia, they have adopted it as a pet
source: nbc4i.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
While it's cool to find a few bucks under a couch cushion, woman discovers that her 30-year-old flea market ring is a 26-carat diamond worth $455,000
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Trump meets Abbas, confuses everyone by saying his favorite song by him was Fernando
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bangor Daily News)
 
 
 
Evidently, Maine is home to the world's largest outlaw hovercraft gang
source: bangordailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
A look at what George Orwell got right and wrong about the future we live in
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jerusalem Post)
 
 
 
Islamic State group 'claims the Manchester attack'
source: jpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
The Guardian spends a month with chemtrails conspiracy theorists from California and surprisingly comes out of it in OK condition
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
I have no idea what you're talking about, so here's a whale blowing a rainbow out of its blowhole
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this dapper young man
source: lsquaredstyle.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Space.com)
 
 
 
Let's hope it was mouse sperm
source: space.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TreeHugger)
 
 
 
If you try to be a practicing vegetarian but occasionally slip up and eat bacon, it's okay. However moving forward you should probably just call yourself a reducetarian
source: treehugger.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Don't judge a book by its cover - especially when that book is face down
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
The first American serial killer may have felt remorse for his crimes, after all
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Arkansas Online)
 
 
 
You are one wild and crazy guy if you get shot in the head with an arrow and are still able to drive yourself home six miles away
source: arkansasonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bangor Daily News)
 
 
 
Four baby squirrels needed to be rescued after the tails all got tangled together. That's nuts
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
This happened in Colorado, so clearly Lucifer's Lettuce has claimed another victim
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Biloxi Sun Herald)
 
 
 
Man and two women arrested for having sex on the deck of the Triple D Bar "right there, in the middle of the day, in broad daylight. In front of God and everybody"
source: sunherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The News & Observer (NC))
 
 
 
Weather man to climate change deniers - "Submit your evidence to peer reviewed journals or stfu"
source: newsobserver.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Mon May 22, 2017
(Austin Statesman)
 
 
 
Megachurch preacher catches hell for flashing "Hook 'em Horns" hand sign. The devil is in the details
source: statesman.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFMY 2 Greensboro)
 
 
 
It wouldn't be summer without the first car pool story
source: wfmynews2.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Nothing says 'I want to stomach you for the rest of my life' like presenting her with an engagement ring hidden in your abdominal wound
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHEC Rochester)
 
 
 
It's a bear-y unfortunate situation as a black bear cub forced the cancellation of baseball and softball games
source: whec.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 5 San Diego)
 
 
 
Drone crashes into stands during Padres-Diamondbacks game, no word if it was sneaking in beer after the 7th inning
source: fox5sandiego.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Facebook's rules on banning have been leaked
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
When Trump "jokingly" asked Comey to lay off the Flynn investigation, he must have thought it was funny since he also reportedly made the same joke to the head of the DIA and the NSA. Funny, both those would be familiar with Flynn, wouldn't they?
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Times of Israel)
 
 
 
Ever heard the story of the high ranking Catholic Church official from Ireland who saved thousands of Jews during the Holocaust? Well here it is, or you can watch the 1983 film "The Scarlet and the Black", since most people won't bother reading
source: timesofisrael.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark NotNewsletter: A week of WTF
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this low-seated bicycle
source: redlinebicycles.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Cop assaults skins at Canadian party
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Study concludes that due to genetics, smart white people are more likely to be autistic, while dumb white people are more likely to be fat and crazy. And here. We. Go
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
The new Raiders stadium in Las Vegas may also operate as a casino by betting on the game
source: espn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
NewsFlash
 
Ariana Grande bombs
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TuneIn)
 
 
 
Tonight at 8PM EDT, Paul's Memory Bank brings you 2 hours of songs beginning with the letter "N", covering most of the years from 1964 to 1989
source: tunein.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buzzfeed)
 
 
 
Don't bogart that joint my friend, it seems cannabis and Christ can coexist with devout southern Christians. Pass it down the pew
source: buzzfeed.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washingtonian)
 
 
 
DC bar serves "Pill Cosby" cocktail, with floating empty capsules
source: washingtonian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 96.5 Florida)
 
 
 
When a Lyft passenger blows her nose on your seat cover and starts throwing punches, it's time to end the ride
source: news965.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Steveston Harbour port chief: That kid had it coming. If anything, that sea lion is a hero
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Sharp kneed Aussie vixen's mail order bride plan unravels when quick and attentive customs folks read a few pages from her diary and check the Facebook feed
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
5th Annual Farks In The Wild at the Buffalo Zoo. July 19, 6pm. Tickets on sale now
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
I'll see your Nazi-Muslim convert and raise you an Arkansas caretaker who gnawed her elderly client to death in an alcohol-fueled frenzy of gore
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 46 Charlotte)
 
 
 
2017 shaping up to be the "Summer Of Poo-Poo Pools"
source: fox46charlotte.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Ars Technica)
 
 
 
News: A certain medication is in short supply in the U.S. Fark: baking soda
source: arstechnica.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC 27)
 
 
 
Carry on wayward whale, they'll be peace when we un-stuck you
source: abc27.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Flickr)
 
 
 
Photoshop this fluffy pink metaphor
source: c1.staticflickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(North Jersey)
 
 
 
You've been robbed, m'lady
source: northjersey.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
"You know, before I repair this guy's £170,000 sports car, I probably should take it out for a test drive. What could go wrong?"
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
"A white supremacist is being accused of fatally shooting his two neo-Nazi roommates after they objected to his decision to convert to Islam." There is one tag alone that can do this story justice
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KING 5 News)
 
 
 
Amazon's Jeff Bezos has plans for a city on the moon, which will no doubt serve as a giant interplanetary package sorting and delivery center
source: king5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Palm Beach Post)
 
 
 
Deep gaping maw of destruction opens up at Trump's Mar-a-Lago
source: palmbeachpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Palm Beach Post)
 
 
 
Commerce Secretary Wilbur Ross marvels at lack of protesters in Saudi Arabia during Trump visit, forgets what the country DOES to said protesters
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Mountaineers confirm that the famous "Hillary Step," the last obstacle on ascending Mount Everest, has collapsed, making climbing Mount Everest practically impossible. Or maybe just making it really easy
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Tomi Lahren tries to mock Notre Dame graduates for voicing their opinions. Doesn't realize she is currently unemployed for doing something similar
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Texas Monthly)
 
 
 
Here is Texas Monthly's 2017 list of the top 50 BBQ joints in the state. Have you eaten at any of them?
source: texasmonthly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Patheos)
 
 
 
Fabio says all women need guns because California "Is Releasing All The Rapists". Perhaps he's worried about being goosed
source: patheos.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AOL)
 
 
 
Melania Trump slaps away Donald's hand in public, as physical contact is no longer part of their revised contract
source: aol.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deviant Art)
 
 
 
Caption these fighting foxes
source: img05.deviantart.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 4 KC)
 
 
 
Think we should put a steel plate over this giant hole we dug for sewer work? Nah, it's just an alley, what's the worst that could happen?
source: fox4kc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
Ruffled residents in England fill potholes with rubber ducks, accusing city council of ducking safety issue
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
An oil company is actually doing something nice for once
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 40 Sacramento)
 
 
 
Neighbors say nuns are trapping, relocating their cats. Wait, what?
source: fox40.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tumblr)
 
 
 
Photoshop this breakfast
source: 68.media.tumblr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
All that talk of Amy Fisher keeping a low profile since returning to Long Island? Well, about that
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Page Six)
 
 
 
Ted Cruz once asked Stephen Colbert to 'humanize' him. Apparently he was sick of being mistaken for a blobfish
source: pagesix.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mashable)
 
 
 
It's time we take the cute gloves off concerning White House pets and rank them for how cool or weird they really were. Subby's going to bow to Satan, President John Adams' mixed-breed dog
source: mashable.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buzzfeed)
 
 
 
Racist snowflake melts down in Reno airport
source: buzzfeed.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Belfast Telegraph)
 
 
 
Looking for something warm and fuzzy to help deal with the Mondays? Here is a pit bull and two guinea pigs being great friends
source: belfasttelegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Daily News)
 
 
 
L.A. dog owners turn to spiked vests to prevent pets from becoming coyote kibble
source: dailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC 2 Fort Myers)
 
 
 
Man arrested after driving drunk and crashing his car. Fark: Into the sheriff's brand new drunk-driving awareness vehicle
source: nbc-2.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Man, sea lions are dicks
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Delta dump
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Florida Today)
 
 
 
Lady gets locked inside CVS. The tag should not surprise us
source: floridatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
For all the talk of "let's live for today", and therapy trying to confront the past, it turns out that the central function of the brain is prospecting outcomes for the future
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
"Oh, the huge amenities"
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sun May 21, 2017
(CNBC)
 
 
 
♫ Thank you for helping with bills ♫
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Things were certainly slower in the 19th century, even the first car ever to get a speeding ticket was caught by a policeman on a bicycle
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TreeHugger)
 
 
 
Photoshop this diligent worker
source: media.treehugger.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
Good: Detroit has demolished over 11,000 abandoned houses. Bad: Many of the houses had asbestos in them. Fark: Detroit's been fined hundreds of thousands of dollars for asbestos abatement violations and unpaid bills and the FBI is investigating
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Karma strikes big game hunter crushed by just-shot elephant
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
Ad campaign pleads to people of Spain, France, Greece, Italy, Thailand to help protect pasty Danes. "Tens of thousand of Danes travel from the cold dark north to your beautiful beaches ... [where] ... they abandon all precaution and roast in the sun"
source: thelocal.dk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Not news: Van crashes into another vehicle in LA traffic. News: It was LAX runway traffic. The other vehicle was a Boeing 737
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Pro wrestlers, celebrities, and street fashionistas revive the Nineties-era bumbag, aka the fanny pack. "They are not even worn on your bum"
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Pittsburgh)
 
 
 
ProTip: Do not give a store employee your real telephone number moments before you rob the place. And take a seat on the Group W bench
source: pittsburgh.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Photoshop theme: Ringling Bros. employees at their next jobs after the circus shuts down. Difficulty: Not working in politics
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(9News (Australia))
 
 
 
North Korea successfully tests yet another ballistic missile that went higher and for a longer time than any other missile previously tested. It's just a matter of time before the crazy one gives up his war with the sea and aims for land
source: 9news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
This yoga business will get out of control. It will get out of control and we'll be lucky to live through it
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PJ Media)
 
 
 
Got wood paneling? Sorry; you're a racist oppressor
source: pjmedia.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Hipsters are now drinking lattes out of avocado shells. "It's literally coffee in a piece of rubbish"
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wikipedia)
 
 
 
Snack Food Sunday needs something to satisfy its sweet tooth today ... without sticking to the tooth. What's your favorite hard candy? And what was that stuff in the bowl on grandma's living room table that had been there since 1973?
source: en.wikipedia.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
"We went to the supermarket; we came back to find scaffolding in front of our home"
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 Chicago)
 
 
 
If you happen to be a transitioning transgender person, the bad news is the Chicago airline captain who moonlights doing testicle removal surgery is currently unavailable
source: abc7chicago.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC 30 Fresno)
 
 
 
The war on drugs in a nutshell: "Bust of a Fresno smoke shop will help the Fresno County Sheriff's Office buy new helicopter"
source: abc30.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Two charged with stealing a hearse that had a corpse inside. They'll face a stiff sentence
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 13 Memphis)
 
 
 
There's passed-out drunk, and then there's passed-out on a car's trunk and taking a ride 14 miles down the interstate drunk
source: fox13memphis.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Police grill the hamburglar who they think stole a Ronald McDonald statue. It's enough to make you grimace
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
Time-lapse video of a rare cloud inversion filling up the Grand Canyon. Pass the Funyuns
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
The British gave us many things, like Shakespeare, The Beatles, and fish & chips. We gave them sovereign citizens
source: devonlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oddity Central)
 
 
 
After 48 years of faithful service, man has a funeral for his truck ... and buries it
source: odditycentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
News: paedophiles arrested. Fark: 1500 paedophiles arrested in single Australian state. UltraFark: all were underage sexters. Ah, Queensland, Australia's Florida
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Daily News)
 
 
 
That's one way to get guns off the streets. LAPD offers Target gift cards in exchange for guns and collects 800 pistols and assault rifles at neighborhood buyback
source: dailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Here's your feel-good goats in yoga pants saving Caribbean island story of the day
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
Americans don't need to depend on their air conditioning like they think they do, according to somebody who's never lived in Phoenix in July
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
These people will never complain about a roller coaster ride being too short
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(FB Photos)
 
 
 
Photoshop this Goth
source: scontent-mia1-1.xx.fbcdn.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Livemint)
 
 
 
CSB Sunday Morning: Finding Courage
source: livemint.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
No lady, your baby is not worth $1,700
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Inland Valley Daily Bulletin)
 
 
 
High school drop-out janitor from Cucamonga obtains college degree, delivers commencement address recounting how he invented Flamin' Hot Cheetos: "You started at the bottom." "No, I started at the beginning"
source: dailybulletin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC 27)
 
 
 
....because there is nothing like huffing compressed air in a Staples bathroom
source: abc27.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Wildcat)
 
 
 
Ugly-ass lynx kyttens born at Connecticut zoo. With picture goodness
source: beardsleyzoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Community applauds Indian woman who hacked off the genitals of the holy man who sexually assaulted her for years
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Boston)
 
 
 
Police arrest man for running over a flock of seagulls. Even though he ran so far away, he couldn't get away
source: boston.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TuneIn)
 
 
 
Coming to you from Juneau, Alaska, it's once again time for Livingston Stapler Company Presents. Two hours of music hosted live by a farker (9 pm AKDT/10 pm PDT)
source: beta.tunein.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sat May 20, 2017
(Fark)
 
 
 
You can go to any time and place in history and leave a rubber chicken. Where do you leave it for maximum WTF effect?
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Minneapolis Star Tribune)
 
 
 
Let's see, pants, shirts, more pants, 60 bags of weed, socks--wait, back up one
source: startribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
"We're 99.9% certain this is Noah's Ark"
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chron)
 
 
 
It is illegal to own more than six dildos in Texas
source: chron.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
When marking down a book about a missing child, maybe using a "When it's gone it's gone" sticker isn't a good idea
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
City decides that the best way to reduce traffic accidents from a busy intersection is to ban cars
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Hamilton Spectator)
 
 
 
Dinosaurs perish in fiery blast. This is not a repeat from 65 million years ago
source: thespec.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Extra Crispy)
 
 
 
Want to lose weight the easy way? Just eat 2 pounds of bacon a day like this diet guru. I know, sounds hard
source: extracrispy.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gannett Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this two-sport-watching crowd
source: gannett-cdn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
Mayor under fire for joke about turning machine guns on press and making them "cry like little girls"
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Rouhani wins re-election in Iran
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
Couple trying to conceive via artificial insemination kept matter private, even from family. That was until Pasco County Sheriff's Office posted on its social media page how they helped wife store sperm in dry ice thermos. Hilarity ensued
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KIRO-7 Seattle)
 
 
 
Man rescued with ladder after being stuck ninety feet up in a tree. While police are not sure how he got up there, they do suspect he was high
source: kiro7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ACSH)
 
Weeners
 
No really, the penis is a social construct that hastens climate change. All hail the penis
source: acsh.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Striking a blow for sanity, Italy makes childhood vaccinations compulsory. Mass outbreak of incredible arithmetic and excellent driving expected
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KIRO-7 Seattle)
 
 
 
Man duct-taped to airplane seat after attempting to breach cockpit, as apparently Adam and Jamie are now working as Air Marshals
source: kiro7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(National Geographic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this strong stand
source: yourshot.nationalgeographic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Whats appropriate attire for yardwork? Is it wrong for an out of shape guy to wear a wifebeater\go shirtless?
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Popular Science)
 
 
 
You know how climate change flooded the doomed Global Seed Vault? Yeah, about that
source: popsci.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSDK St. Louis)
 
 
 
"My shirt is fine." "That's a suspension and an arresting--" *ring ring* "Okay, a suspension, and no graduation ceremony"
source: ksdk.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Inside Hitler's lost city hidden deep underground on the Dutch coast. The Sun is there (Some Not safe for work content in sidebar)
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
NY Postsplains why Millennial sex sucks
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
All set for World Whisky Day today? Here's 7 new and interesting whiskies to add to your basement bar
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fredericksburg)
 
 
 
Obviously they were pets
source: fredericksburg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Old and busted: smuggling millions of dollars of cocaine. New and tasty: smuggling millions of dollars of sea cucumbers
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lowering the Bar)
 
 
 
Lawyer awards fake lawyer award to fake self, files fake defamation suit when media report on fakery, gets real court decision tossing his suit out
source: loweringthebar.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Poughkeepsie Journal)
 
 
 
Utility company to school: Smells like a gas leak, so evacuate the kids. School to utility company: But there's testing going on. Utility: DID WE STUTTER? School: Sheesh. Don't rush us, okay?
source: poughkeepsiejournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Weekly)
 
 
 
LA: Legal sellers of marijuana are swamped by black market vendors in the wake of legalization. "They don't live in the community, they don't invest in the community, they just know that our people are going to purchase cannabis"
source: laweekly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Here is the best response you will hear about a school's dress code all day
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Local10 WPLG)
 
 
 
Our long national nightmare is over as the girl who dressed as a dinosaur to spook horses has turned herself in
source: local10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mental Floss)
 
 
 
The Saturday Morning Book Club stays in Hollywood for another week, this time trying to find which books that so far have resisted all efforts to be immortalized on film really need to be brought to the big screen
source: mentalfloss.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tastefully Offensive)
 
 
 
Area man notices that the news copter is broadcasting him live and busts out some ultimate white dad dance moves
source: tastefullyoffensive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Ugly-ass baby penguin is named... Oh FFS Enough with the Namey McNameyface crap. It was only slightly amusing the first time, now it's just dumb
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
One more thing to add to the long list of things you're doing wrong: How you wash your hair
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tinypic)
 
 
 
Photoshop the aftermath of a visit by a bear
source: oi65.tinypic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WRAL)
 
 
 
Authorities have a blast after finding 50 pounds of dynamite at an unused tobacco packing house in NC. Dynomite (Exclamation point)
source: wral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mashable)
 
 
 
Ringer the cat, presumed dead after his home burned down, is found alive beneath the debris two months later by his canine buddy, Chloe. Just another example of why all animals are welcome on Caturday
source: mashable.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Lady Cynthia's giant bush becoming a tourist attraction
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KnoxNews)
 
 
 
Trucking industry advocacy group introduces new mascot, launches Naming Contest. And so Trucky McTruckface was born
source: knoxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Science Alert)
 
 
 
Maybe it will keep a few of us as pets
source: sciencealert.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Uh, guys... we now have a second aircraft carrier near North Korea and a desperate, raging president in command. Just sayin'
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Nola.com)
 
 
 
Lee surrenders. This is not a repeat from 1865
source: nola.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Dad wins £101m in Euromillions. Dad gives kid £1.6m. Kid spends £550k on home. Kid quits well-paying IT job. Kid blows through everything in 2 yrs. Kid takes dad to court for more money. Kid loses case. The Aristocrats. Slovenly aristocratic child
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Cops in bus station: Get out of that seat. Old lady: Can I have my cane, so I can stand? Cops: After you get up. Old lady: I can't stand without my cane. Cops: STOP RESISTING ME
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(STLToday)
 
 
 
"While in the office I asked the subject to remove the meat from inside of his pants. He explained to me that he was a police officer"
source: stltoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Northwest Herald)
 
 
 
Who says cigarettes aren't addictive?
source: nwherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTSP)
 
 
 
Get your cups and buckets ready because 'Bring Your Own Cup Day' is Friday and Saturday at 7-Eleven
source: wtsp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Fri May 19, 2017
(Wired UK)
 
 
 
Scientists believe they've found a way to cure people with HIV and Zika by infecting them with a CRISPR virus that infects those viruses and edits out the DNA they need for survival. Other phases of the treatment involve needle snakes and gorillas
source: wired.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSAZ West Virginia)
 
 
 
Man arrested after 3 pounds of meth is delivered to cemetery. Police theorize he was trying to streamline the stages of drug addiction
source: wsaz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Photoshop this headless performer
source: i2.cdn.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Herald Tribune (SW Florida))
 
 
 
10-foot alligator proves they make great speed bumps, for motorcycles at least. Florida Alligator Trifecta complete
source: heraldtribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
In what researchers are calling "The Charlie Sheen effect", sales of HIV testing kits nearly doubled after the actor announced he was HIV+ , though that may have been attributable just to former partners of his getting themselves checked out
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newser)
 
 
 
Hell hath no wrath like a restaurant owner scorned on TripAdvisor
source: newser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Man who jumped off the Golden Gate Bridge: "The millisecond my legs cleared it, the millisecond of true freefall, instant regret for my actions"
source: abc7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Ceiling Google is watching your toddlers skinnydip (Not safe for work content on page)
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
The Global Seed Vault, designed to preserve humanity's crops from global warming devastation, was flooded due to global warming
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Photoshop this catcher catching a ball
source: i2.cdn.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Hey, the Nut Job is gone so you're in the clear. I just hope nobody is recording this
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Student banned from university's wi-fi for illegally downloading: A) Test answers. B) Porn. C) The movie Chicken Run
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mad Magazine)
 
 
 
What, me plagiarize?
source: madmagazine.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
Volunteer archaeologists in New Jersey find human blood on revolutionary war shrapnel. Soon my dream of mixing Colonial Williamsburg and Jurassic Park will be a reality
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Fox 8 Greensboro)
 
 
 
Prized show cows saved from barn fire in Climax. Thankfully this headline is not a euphemism
source: myfox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Age (Melbourne))
 
 
 
Sweden drops the Julian Assange investigation. We now take you live to Admiral Ackbar for comment
source: theage.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
The Texas Tightwad who threatened to sue his date for $17.31 because she texted during the movie has got his money back without having to go to court. WHEW now we can relax
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Laughing Squid)
 
 
 
Ever wonder where "goths" came from, what they do, and what exactly it is they are trying to say to the world? Yeah, me neither, but just in case you might be mildly curious, something called a "laughing squid" has the info
source: laughingsquid.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCPO Cincinnati)
 
 
 
Not news: Cincinnati Mayor's Office issues proclamation for "Tre Day". News: Mayor says had no knowledge of it even though he signed it. Fark: 'Tre' shot & killed a Cincinnati police officer less than two years ago
source: wcpo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
I would think that a bug that likes biting humans around their lips and faces as they sleep and then defecates into the wound with feces that harbor an infectious parasite that causes heart disease would have a scarier laymen name than "kissing bug"
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Times Square car attack caused by Reefer Madness
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
"I'll trade you a pack of smokes, these airline peanuts and my watch for you not punching me for reclining my seat" "Deal"
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
Weeners
 
Mr. Weiner to plead guilty for sending his Mr. Weener to 15-year-old girl. Come for the Weiner, stay for the weeners. There's a lot of weeners here. Weiner
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
This is one gator who won't be seeing you later
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MassLive)
 
 
 
Hello, 911? Yea, Dad is selling drugs again, can you get me the hell outta here?
source: masslive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this beautiful butterfly
source: d6d2h4gfvy8t8.cloudfront.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Tanzanian woman pretended to be a man to work as miner. Right up until she was accused of rape
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Age (Melbourne))
 
 
 
Hand me my crayons, Margaret, I'm going to make our fortune
source: theage.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Genetic testing will result in everyone having a pre-existing condition
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Pair arrested for having sex in public. Charged with lewdness, ugliness, and "that's just nasty"
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Trump just doesn't know when to shut up
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Chinese fighter pilot flies inverted over U.S. Air Force jet. Iceman calls claim into question
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
You know you're living in a laid-back village when they install speed bumps to stop visitors from walking too fast
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
UN counter-terrorism official: Obviously, we need to just ban all luggage, carry-on, and clothing for airline passengers
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Mannequin causes man to flee hotel and hurt himself which means lawsuit, of course. Stupid dummy
source: abc7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Conversation)
 
 
 
Arguments why God (very probably) exists to the left. Arguments for Obvious and Doubtful tags to the right
source: theconversation.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
"We believe climate change is real", says the hippie-dippie, bleedin' heart, granola-crunchin', environazi CEO of Shell Oil Corporation
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tablet Magazine)
 
 
 
"The language we're consuming every day is empty space, it's nothing-lessness, it's meaningless-ness, it's all bullshiat"
source: tabletmag.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Thu May 18, 2017
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Almost $52,000 worth of caviar donated by an anonymous Russian for a lavish party. Well what else would you expect from Donald Trum.......wait, Pippa Middleton?
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gothamist)
 
 
 
I don't care if there are blood soaked newspapers all over the floor of the train so long as I can get a seat
source: gothamist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 10 Phoenix)
 
 
 
Guy realizes he's on live TV news broadcast, starts goofy dance moves for helicopter
source: fox10phoenix.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Union Leader)
 
 
 
State reprimands doctor for prescribing medicine to sick patient because marijuana
source: unionleader.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Rolling Stone)
 
 
 
"Roger Ailes was the Christopher Columbus of hate." Now THAT'S how you write an obituary
source: rollingstone.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toronto Star)
 
 
 
G.E.: We bring good things to life. Sort of
source: thestar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(France 24)
 
 
 
NATO, once vital, then obsolete, then important, is now obsolete again
source: france24.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop these aerial combatants
source: d6d2h4gfvy8t8.cloudfront.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Minnesota)
 
 
 
His user name was INCESTGUY8629. With mugshot OTD
source: minnesota.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Nothing says "Congratulations on your Graduation" like starting a massive brawl with other parents over a seat
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHNT Huntsville)
 
 
 
A 5 year renovation project for "Eggbeater Jesus" mosaic begins this month. Touchdown Jesus still waiting for bowl season
source: whnt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TwinCities.com)
 
 
 
Walmart shopper gets deer in wrestling hold because 'Murica
source: twincities.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WKYC Cleveland)
 
 
 
As if you needed another reason to stop using baby changing tables in gas station restrooms
source: wkyc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
'Coast to Coast Bandit' arrested in New York City. Whereabouts of Zorak and Moltar currently unknown
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Food Nut)
 
 
 
Fark Food Thread: Get that grill fired up, you Farkers. Simple burgers and brats to your fancy shmancy selections.. But don't skip sharing. We can all enjoy your goodies for the grill season
source: countryliving.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
A new contender for bad PR has just reaccommodated United and Pepsi. Burger King very much regrets a ruling to stop them from handing out flyers at Dachau. It needed a ruling because they appealed a former court order. Try the new gas broiled burgers
source: thelocal.de   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
I'll see your floorboard feline and raise you with toilet bowl iguana
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop these bridge leapers
source: d6d2h4gfvy8t8.cloudfront.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Five Thirty-Eight)
 
 
 
A quarter of Americans are really atheists in the closet. That's a big closet
source: fivethirtyeight.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
In a move definitely not to deflect attention from his Russian scandal, Trump bombs pro Syrian forces
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
Homeowners outraged to find city owns the land under their docks, although real estate experts suggest reading the fine print in any contract so they can be sure of what's below the dock and what's up dock
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Admit it, you've spent many restless nights wondering where the cleanest gas station bathroom in every state was located. Sleep well tonight, my friend
source: business.gasbuddy.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Ars Technica)
 
 
 
Baby boomer doctors are more likely to Fark up and kill you than are Gen X and Millennial doctors
source: arstechnica.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
NYPD officials are now saying the car that rammed into a crowd of pedestrians in Times Square does not appear to be an act of terrorism, but instead the result of the area being mistaken for a farmer's market
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Speeding car plows into pedestrians at Times Square. Reportedly one dead, at least 11 injured
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Atlanta Journal Constitution)
 
 
 
Never argue about pepperoni with your Pizza Hut supervisor when they have the pepper spray
source: ajc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun (Ireland))
 
 
 
Brazen raccoon sneaks into house and goes on a rampage, scares the bejebbies out of couple then goes on to terrorize the cat
source: thesun.ie   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
"That's not my husband," woman says after in-flight emergency. To be fair, after he started attacking people with a coffee pot, I wouldn't admit to marrying him either
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Drive)
 
 
 
Boeing needs new names for its updated fighters. Surely we can come up with a few
source: thedrive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Canadian currency under attack by clever counterfeiters armed with scissors, scotch tape and glitter. Police suspect local kindergarten class
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Cookie Cop pulled out of retirement, solves one more case. Suspect's canine companion still on the lam
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Miami Herald)
 
 
 
Have you been the victim of Wineshaming? And no, that doesn't involve waking up naked in someone's back yard surrounded by empty Sutter Home bottles
source: miamiherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Finally, an article explaining why subby never had children
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Magazine)
 
 
 
Alex Jones loses his battle with Big Yogurt
source: nymag.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Flash the grumpy post office cat is retiring after 22 years. Get off my counter
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Sorry, millennials, but looks like you may have to surrender your trophy for "Most Entitled Generation" to the baby boomers. Don't worry, they'll be dead soon. You can have it back then
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this nonconformist
source: d6d2h4gfvy8t8.cloudfront.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Roger succumbs to what ailed him
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TreeHugger)
 
 
 
A photographer waited in a river every night for four years to get that perfect beaver shot. Apparently nobody ever told him about the internet
source: treehugger.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZ Family)
 
 
 
School district apologizes for inappropriate comments that inadvertently ended up in a high school yearbook. This is not a repeat from every graduation season since the dawn of the first high school yearbook
source: azfamily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTLA Los Angeles)
 
 
 
In a completely shocking turn of events, a white police officer was found innocent of shooting an unarmed black man by an Oklahoma jury
source: ktla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
I'll see your ceiling cat and raise you with floorboard feline
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
A look at how a school district treats its rich and poor high schools at lunch time
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
GOP: Marijuana is EVIL and the DEBBILS LETTUCE and we will never ever never make it legal. Bankers: I'd like a slice of that market share please. GOP: Hey maybe we were a bit hasty with this whole cannabis thing
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 13 Orlando)
 
 
 
"...when he moved toward the reptile as though to kiss it, the snake bit him"
source: mynews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Chris Cornell dies at 52
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Creationist sues the Grand Canyon for religious discrimination
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Block of concrete smashes through windshield on the highway, knocking driver unconscious. Mad Sweeney seen walking away muttering about his lost lucky coin
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 4 Now Fort Myers)
 
 
 
Nude squatter, meet Deputy Wang
source: fox4now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Drunk woman drives through six mailboxes, all while carrying a lizard in her bra. Police found empty bottles of root beer-flavored nips in the vehicle. Nips trifecta now in play
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Open Culture)
 
 
 
Letter found from Helen Keller to the Nazis. May have given clues to her hiding place
source: openculture.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Orange County Register)
 
 
 
Most smokers: "Jesus, you guys are restricting my rights so much, why don't you just make smoking illegal?" Laguna Beach: Challenge Accepted
source: ocregister.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Cambridge Chronicle)
 
 
 
I hate to be the bearer of bad news but the 'Cow Poop Bingo' has been cancelled at North Andover's 45th annual Sheep Shearing Festival this weekend
source: northandover.wickedlocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Duck season - Rabbit season - Drone season - BLAM
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 628: "To the Moon and Back". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
source: farktography.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Wed May 17, 2017
(US News)
 
 
 
Experts say the Turkish president's guards may have really farked up by stomping on protesters in Washington, D.C
source: usnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
This sous vide sh*t is getting out of hand
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Mama duck and 12 ducklings rescued from 6th floor of Library of Congress, relocated to QL696 as they were clearly misshelved
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News On 6 Tulsa)
 
 
 
Firefighter sitting in pickup truck at gas station gets picked up by tornado, goes for a flight, lands on front bumper, walks away with minor scratches. Ta da
source: newson6.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KRQE News)
 
 
 
A six month long News 13 investigation reveals that convicted felons don't normally have half a million dollars lying around once they're released from prison
source: krqe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
NewsFlash
 
Finally, a McCarthy makes a meaningful Russia accusation
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Photoshop this masked man
source: media2.s-nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
FDA: Stop looking for lead in your kids' pants, it is not there
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
NewsFlash
 
Mueller? Mueller? Mueller? Mueller? Oh, there you are. Great, the investigation can get started then
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHO TV Des Moines)
 
 
 
"The kids had fun, followed the rules, and made lifelong memories. Unfortunately, for kids in 2 of those vehicles, those memories will include that time the teachers were drunk and drove us to the airport"
source: whotv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
Woolly mammoth spotted in Norwegian traffic. And you thought YOU had a long commute
source: thelocal.no   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
When sustaining your glitzy, futuristic city requires towing icebergs in from 6,000 miles away to provide drinking water, you should probably step back and reflect on the soundness of your growth strategy
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Kentucky life expectancy diminishing rapidly, unsurprising given that it is the home of bourbon and Fark
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Flickr)
 
 
 
Photoshop this majestic morning
source: c1.staticflickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Morning Call)
 
 
 
It's time for results of the annual analysis of more than 10 million workers' drug tests. Party on Garth - party on Wayne (guitar solo)
source: mcall.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
"`Twas brillig, and the slithy toves \ Did gyre and gimble in the wabe: \ All mimsy were the borogoves, \ And the mome raths outgrabe." Huh, maybe that's my writing problem, I keep using words people recognize. THIS is your Fark Writer's Thread
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Dutch king reveals secret flights as a co-pilot. Before anyone makes Dutch rudder jokes, it was a German plane, not a Dutch one. Farts
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Beards are the best way to make you more desirable....mostly by covering up that thing you call a face
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Philadelphia)
 
 
 
If you want to feel better about your own decisions today, at least you are not finding yourself trying to dig your SUV out of the ocean
source: nbcphiladelphia.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Portland Press Herald)
 
 
 
Maine's Governor wants to outlaw nips. Geez, can't we just use padded bras
source: pressherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Flickr)
 
 
 
Photoshop this lonely flower
source: c1.staticflickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
I've got nothing, so here's a picture of the Wienermobile on a ferry boat
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(History Channel)
 
 
 
This day in 1973, all of America tunes in to follow the story of a 'third rate burglary"
source: history.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Paddy Power)
 
 
 
Odds of Trump's impeachment date this year are now 3/1, with a charge of Treason at 10/3. Fark: Odds of a Trump sex tape leaking online this year down to 14/1
source: paddypower.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Shanghaiist)
 
 
 
Seeking vengeance by setting fire to an ATM and extinguishing the flames with your own pee after getting fired from your factory job is no way to gain future employment in life, son
source: shanghaiist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCHS Charleston)
 
 
 
Man steals security system to conceal masturbation
source: wchstv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Man finds that the best way to get a free air conditioner is to put on a Home Depot apron
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TreeHugger)
 
 
 
Another First World problem has been solved now that somebody invented an air conditioned backpack
source: treehugger.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Cyclist hit by speeding NYPD cruiser. Discussion of who is to blame for the accident, and who is more worthy of vilification over to my right. This could be a long thread
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Arkansas Online)
 
 
 
Man busted for performing a sex act on himself inside a shoe store. Has he no sole?
source: arkansasonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
Father at Disney World starts day-drinking early, rams baby carriage through crowd yelling racial slurs, sits by pool for hours getting piss-drunk, kid get badly sunburned. Bonus: Tells police Trump will kill them
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lafayette Journal & Courier)
 
 
 
Look, I don't think "Doctor My Eyes" is a good song either, but this is a bit too far
source: jconline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
Peachy: 17-year Brood X cicadas are spawning in DC. Impeachy: Four years ahead of schedule
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
Friends consider man dying from stage 4 liver cancer an "inspiration." All the women he dated, married, lived with, borrowed money from, not so much. "He loved us all from the second he laid eyes on us"
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
Man gropes woman in Chantilly area. That's getting kind of personal
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Tue May 16, 2017
(Scientific American)
 
 
 
Legislature passes bill allowing parents to prevent schools from teaching their babies science
source: scientificamerican.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Fully autonomous air traffic control system for drones is coming, because apparently we've looked at Washington and decided maybe it'd just be better to go ahead let the machines take over
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lehigh Valley Live)
 
 
 
There's a new villain in town and he is the Blender Bandit
source: lehighvalleylive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
They tried to make me go to rehab, but I said squeek, squeek, squeek
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Now I Know)
 
 
 
The truth about bacon packaging: "the mullet of meat - business in the front, party in the back"
source: nowiknow.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Eight-year-old faces felony charges after multiple vehicle break-ins. *Sniff* they grow up so fast in Florida
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark NotNewsletter: Fark is having an auction
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
The most important part of a successful shoplifting spree is the clean getaway. This involves a certain level of grace and agility
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washingtonian)
 
 
 
Artist projects "PAY TRUMP BRIBES HERE" on president's DC hotel
source: washingtonian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop these flapping flamingos
source: d6d2h4gfvy8t8.cloudfront.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bay News 9)
 
 
 
Juror dismissed from former Congresswoman Corrine Brown's fraud trial told other jurors "Holy Spirit" told him she was not guilty. God/Jesus/Holy Ghost: "Not me"
source: baynews9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
Apey McApeface officially named "Alba"
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Drinking and swearing woman gets in trouble on plane flight. Sorry, not sure what her Fark handle is
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KIRO-7 Seattle)
 
 
 
Shark bites diver in Tacoma. That's gotta hurt
source: kiro7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
DC Union Station video screens publicly streamed PornHub, which lasted for three minutes. THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Man attacked by giant penis. Suspect described as white, about 6ft tall, with a shaved head
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
You know it's an epic party when there's so much marijuana smoke in the house that the police who bust it up have to take breaks outside to breathe
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Talk Radio (UK))
 
 
 
Apparently there's some super strength coke on the streets of the UK and we shouldn't take it. Wish someone had told me that before my nose fell off
source: talkradio.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Dallas News)
 
 
 
Uber driver wanted to check out passenger's gun. Cool. Pow pow pow. Oops
source: dallasnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
"I've secretly swapped other donors' sperm with my own. Let's see if anyone notices"
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Student stabs her Tinder date and is spared jail time because she's British hot. With relevant pics of her in a tank top washing a boat
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this man and the supermodels
source: d6d2h4gfvy8t8.cloudfront.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kent Online)
 
 
 
If your best plan to go robbing involves wearing so many balaclavas you can't put your helmet on, having to put an axe between your legs while riding a scooter and gaining so much attention 4 people call the cops, maybe a change in career is in order
source: kentonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
The Pentagon's inspector general is conducting a review of the incredibly secretive B-21 bomber program to try to answer such questions as IS there actually such a plane or are we spending $80 billion to paint "1"'s on all our existing B-2's
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AOL)
 
 
 
Beloved comic book store owner killed in robbery as 911 callers are placed on hold. Worst. 911. Call. Ever
source: aol.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(14 News Evansville)
 
 
 
Is your hyperactive child acting out? That's a tazin'
source: 14news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Supreme Court decides that you can be arrested for burping
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Canoe)
 
 
 
"Hey, there's a dog on your roof." "We know, thanks." - "Hey buddy, there's a dog on your roof." "Thanks, we know." - "Yo, there's a dog on your roof." "Yes, we know, thank you." - "Hey, there's a dog-" "YES WE KNOW WE KNOW THERE'S A DOG UP THERE"
source: cnews.canoe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
"Here's What It's Like To Be A Queer, Polyamorous Kink Witch." Translation: PAY ATTENTION TO MEEEEEEE
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
My Family's Slave
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Polygon)
 
 
 
Cuba: Where underground arcades, secret networks and piracy are a way of life
source: polygon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WorldNetDaily)
 
 
 
The perfect head for the FBI in Trump land just announced he would accept the job
source: wnd.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
And the prize for best use of 'cunning stunt' in an article goes to
source: thelocal.fr   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 4 Now Fort Myers)
 
 
 
Man repeatedly dials 911 demanding to be taken to his wife, who is Taylor Swift
source: fox4now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Dylann Roof family jailhouse visit videos to be released. In one, he asks his sister if her new baby is transgender. In another, he tells family members to get over his crimes... it was a year ago after all
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 32 Chicago)
 
 
 
Red Bull gives you wings
source: fox32chicago.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Two weeks ago I power washed my senior neighbor's sidewalk because his health has declined. Today he mowed my lawn to repay me because he was feeling "motivated." I just let him go to it even though I pay a lawn kid. His health must be up this month
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Great white sharks and killer whales are at war with each other. No word on what kind of weapons they are using for the battles
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this floating house
source: brickshelf.com   |   share: