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Mon July 06, 2015
Source     Fark Headline Comments
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
On second thought, I withdraw my religious objections to granting you a marriage license
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(16)
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
Oslo police seeking elderly man with machine gun in guitar case, as times continue to be tough for the Norwegian El Mariachi
source: thelocal.no   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(3)
 
(Jezebel)
 
 
 
This week, on Behind Closed Ovens: How not to eat venison, Hipsters eat the whole tamale before it was cool, and the best frosting ever
source: kitchenette.jezebel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(25)
 
(Norwich Evening News)
 
 
 
This is EXACTLY what Grand Theft Auto would be like if it involved vintage boats and took place in Great Yarmouth's historic Waterways
source: eveningnews24.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(7)
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
Florida man faces sentencing today for having sex on the beach. Serves him right for not ordering a man's drink like gin and tonic or scotch on the rocks
source: seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(52)
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
So what should tourists expect in coming weeks in Greece? Well, in short, you're going to get robbed. A lot
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(58)
 
(LiveJournal)
 
 
 
Photoshop this Greek salad
source: ic.pics.livejournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(25)
 
(Toronto Sun)
 
 
 
Iran nuke talks are good for the brothels, as even when politicians are trying to avoid war they still feel the need to screw somebody
source: torontosun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(11)
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
Ten tips from the survivor's guide to running with the bulls in Pamplona leaves out rule #11: don't run with the goddamn bulls
source: thelocal.es   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(30)
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
People in Vancouver brag that they can sunbathe in a blanket of smoke from wildfires in the morning and go skiing in a blanket of smoke from wildfires in the afternoon
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(46)
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Do you use a wireless router at home? You've probably already been hacked, had your identity compromised, your life destroyed, and your porn stolen
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(147)
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
What, what? Police shoot crack dealer in the butt
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(38)
 
(WRAL)
 
 
 
Memorial statue on UNC's campus made more historically accurate overnight
source: wral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(155)
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark NotNewsletter: Something new on Fark mobile. Will you get over it?
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(38)
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Mormon leader dies, will be baptized after death as a Catholic
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(66)
 
(News 13 Orlando)
 
 
 
"Investigators say she then drove back through the home and parked the SUV in the front yard"
source: mynews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(11)
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
'Naked selfie performances' still aren't legal in most places, let alone at the Eiffel Tower, even if you call yourself an 'artist' (w/ SFW naked seflies)
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(58)
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Not news: Man finds old video game console in his attic. Fark: It's a "Nintendo Playstation" - one of only 200 ever made
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(57)
 
(The Week UK)
 
 
 
"Extremophiles" may have been found on a comet, proving aliens are worse than Fox News could ever have imagined - an extraterrestrial crossover between religious extremists and pedophiles
source: theweek.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(77)
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Another side effect of California's drought: Because there's so much less groundwater, the arsenic it contains are concentrating from a level of "it probably won't hurt you" to "oh shiat, you gonna die"
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(42)
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Police say they don't know many details after 4 found shot dead inside a South Carolina home, but are rock-solid on a few facts: "We do know there was some gunfire involved inside the home"
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(29)
 
(Augusta Chronicle)
 
 
 
"So dogs attacked our goats a while back, how do we keep the grass down now?" "More goats"
source: chronicle.augusta.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(28)
 
(Fortune)
 
 
 
And for the 148th consecutive year, the least likely state for being bitten by a shark is Nebraska
source: fortune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(28)
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
TX Declaration of Secession: "The institution known as negro slavery....her people intended should exist in all future time." TX School Board that re-wrote civil war teaching standards "Slavery was a side issue to the Civil War"
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(540)
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Germany is sweltering under a heat wave that has created temperatures of 104.3 degrees F, the highest it has ever been since records started being kept in 1881. Maybe scientists should look into this and see if the earth is getting warmer
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(206)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Christie Brinkley on Billy Joel's new young wife: "She'll make a wonderful friend for our daughter"
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(73)
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Thursday: "Serial Stowaway" promises to never attempt to board illegally again upon release from jail. Sunday: Detained at O'Hare
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(67)
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Long time Farker, Nathan Murray AKA SilentStrider, passed away suddenly on Friday morning. You will be greatly missed. Rest in peace
source: obits.pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(373)
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
A flat miner, parts of emir, and WSoP, Ji? Some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 6/28 - 7/4
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(4)
 
(Times of Israel)
 
 
 
Crusader history buffs reenact the Battle of Hattin in the Galilee. This is a repeat from 1187
source: timesofisrael.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(37)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop these simple brown bottles
source: posuda63.ru   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(21)
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Man who dropped orange peel on sidewalk finally walks free. After a nine-month legal battle
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(71)
 
(Journal News)
 
 
 
Dennis Miller arrested for assault and endangerment after an investigation that was tougher than reading "The Tin Drum" in Icelandic to an arena of Justin Bieber fans with ADD
source: lohud.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(76)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Burt's Bees founder dies of all natural causes
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(54)
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
As if dealing with severe drought is not enough, people in California may have high squeaky voices now
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(51)
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
If you have a spare $15 million, you can buy Leonardo da Vinci's villa
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(25)
 
(IndyStar)
 
 
 
Today's Fark-ready headline: "Hotcakes Emporium flattened again"
source: indystar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(15)
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Attention, men: If you name your penis, you're a tool
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(181)
 


Sun July 05, 2015
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Forget 'peak' oil, Brooklyn has passed 'peak' PBR
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(67)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this exultant silhouette
source: inertiamlm.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(38)
 
(NBC Connecticut)
 
 
 
I scream you scream we all scream when the Ice Cream truck rolls over on the highway
source: nbcconnecticut.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(42)
 
(KPHO Phoenix)
 
 
 
After man discovered his friends had locked him out of the house, logic flue out of the window
source: kpho.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(34)
 
(Some Itchy Guy)
 
 
 
This article on poison ivy is either a bad translation, or the author had a stroke while writing it
source: benchmarkreporter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(92)
 
(Bustle)
 
 
 
Renegade therapists spurn traditional playbook, urge couples to have hot monkey sex before tackling their relationship issues, rather than the other way around
source: bustle.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(63)
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Eleven-year-old girl pulls out her own tooth. With a crossbow
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(45)
 
(Gothamist)
 
 
 
Crashing your unregistered motorcycle, while high on drugs, and wearing a helmet that says, "Little Miss Dangerous" is no way to go through life, Ms Police Officer
source: gothamist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(67)
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
"And then he said, 'If I had any sense, do you think I would be climbing a Welsh mountain in a thunderstorm?'"
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(28)
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Fresh aromatic cheese lures Zombie Castro out of hiding
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(25)
 
(Blogger.com)
 
 
 
Photoshop this driftwood at sunset
source: 1.bp.blogspot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(20)
 
(ABC 27)
 
 
 
Girl spits a cherry pit the longest in the contest she was in, but because her other spits sucked she did not advance in the contest
source: abc27.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(47)
 
(KOB4)
 
 
 
Cry Moar: Police departments say budgets will be devastated now that they can't take your stuff without ever charging you with a crime
source: kob.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(172)
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
A primer on why you D.C. Farkers should be patient with the throngs of blubber-cushioned, fanny-pack- wielding, slack-jawed tourists infesting your city every summer. With photo of what said tourists may look like (while blocking an escalator)
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(126)
 
(News On 6 Tulsa)
 
 
 
Today's cause for overreactive parental outrage... a float with zombies, a scary clown and hearses in the local 4th of July parade
source: newson6.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(45)
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Forth Bridge named Scotland's sixth World Heritage Site on the fifth
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(32)
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
A stroll through Bastrop, Texas, where the townsfolk are in the final stages of their preparations to resist Obama's impending Jade Helm invasion. "They are not nuts and wackos. They are concerned citizens, and they are patriots"
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(365)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Climbing onto Salisbury Plain / I could see them staging fights / Bugles blowing, time stood twain / Bacon flew out of the night
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(14)
 
(KRQE News)
 
 
 
"Hey Darwin, hold my beer and watch me launch this mortar from my head"
source: krqe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(114)
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Australian news helicopter swoops in to warn surfers of an approaching great white shark, depriving the beast of a snack and upsetting the balance of nature
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(29)
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
If the early polling results are any indication, it looks as if Greece won't have anything to feed their ATMs
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(299)
 
(South Florida)
 
 
 
"There's only so much Lee Greenwood a person can take at a fireworks display"
source: southflorida.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(92)
 
(Public Radio International)
 
 
 
British police may not have guns, but their manners are impeccable
source: pri.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(12)
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
After his young daughter was diagnosed with a cataract, her dad vowed to make her a new custom eye patch every day for her to wear. Wow, the spring rains really helped the ragweed to grow because my allergies are flaring up suddenly
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(61)
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Please get your tiny violins at the ready as billionaires and celebrities are worried about the effects of climate change on their private islands
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(131)
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Shoe factory collapse claims six soles
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(42)
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
"Hi, I'm at the casino. I wonder if I could borrow your rice cooker. Can you leave it by my car?"
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(53)
 
(Fox 28 Columbus)
 
 
 
Ohio judge tosses woman's parking ticket over missing comma. Grammar rules
source: myfox28columbus.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(83)
 
(KHOU Houston)
 
 
 
Suspects try to hide from officers by climbing a tree. I'm going to go out on a limb and say something that might not be poplar but these poor saps better turn over a new leaf or they willow pine for the days when they weren't so rootless
source: khou.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(30)
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop these motel folks in Pocatello, Idaho 1981
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(25)
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
CSB Sunday Morning: "Cool Story, 'Mo:" Crazy Pride parades (or any parade in general)
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(63)
 
(Rocketnews 24)
 
 
 
China's news reports on Japan's military technology, including subs, missiles, helicopters, gundams, destroyers, aircraft... wait, gundams?
source: en.rocketnews24.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(48)
 
(Unknown Country)
 
 
 
The latest crop circle is a masterpiece
source: unknowncountry.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(67)
 
(New Zealand Herald)
 
 
 
Old and Busted: Supporting and encouraging your child when they don't get the role they wanted in the school musical. New Hotness: Consulting a lawyer when your child doesn't get the role they wanted
source: nzherald.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(99)
 
(TuneIn)
 
 
 
From the heart of beautiful downtown Juneau it's the 4th of July edition of Livingston Stapler Company Presents. Two hours of music hosted live by a farker, starting at 9PM AKDT/10PM PT
source: tunein.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(229)
 
(International Business Times)
 
 
 
While you can barely afford to fill up the car, a spa is letting clients bathe in crude oil
source: ibtimes.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(62)
 

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