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Sat December 10, 2016
Source     Fark Headline Comments
(First Coast News)
 
 
 
For the next few weeks would you avoid eating in a restaurant that only plays Christmas music?
source: firstcoastnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
"When you're playing with lions, it's important to never show fear." Screaming like a little girl is apparently okay
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
19 men were killed on America's death row in 2016. Want to guess what many chose as their last meal?
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Miami Herald)
 
 
 
Police officers who entered the Boise Airport air traffic control tower after pilots could not reach controllers by radio Nov. 19 found one controller had fallen asleep and a second one had left the tower and smelled of marijuana
source: miamiherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Yes a condition called 'Polar Penis' is actually a thing that attacks Antarctic explorers and leaves their nether regions in agony ....just in case you're thinking of going exploring there
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this ka-BOOM
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
The reason why so many Americans got hooked on cigarettes? It's not the addictive quality of tobacco. It's simply the power of sugar
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
If you're having problems finding a parking space in Cardiff these days, this guy may be part of the problem
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Thieves re-purpose mannequin challenge. Store not amused
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this otter-ly adorable pumpkin
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Istanbul to constantly topple
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Iran opens military theme park for children. Although nothing can prepare kids to deal with inhumane conditions like waiting in line for three hours in August just to ride the Teacups at Disney World
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Philly.com)
 
 
 
Newspaper bemoans commenters and inquires as to their purpose. Commenters fix spelling and grammar in article. Clearly the commenters are the most important part
source: philly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New Statesman)
 
 
 
How's life living the meme?
source: newstatesman.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TreeHugger)
 
 
 
I have no idea what you're talking about so here's a picture of two smiling llamas walking down the road. Oh, and one's wearing a tie
source: treehugger.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Canoe)
 
 
 
Protip: Treating your seriously ill child with dandelion tea, tea tree oil, oil of oregano, and a potato poultice probably won't yield the results you're looking for
source: cnews.canoe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Desperate New Yorkers looking to end the drunken debauchery make last-ditch effort to sabotage SantaCon by posting flyers across the city saying the event is cancelled
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(9 News)
 
 
 
"Trial date set for man who lives in hole". You would think that the context would make it make sense, but no
source: 9news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Canoe)
 
 
 
"You are the sexiest thing I've seen, I'm going to (engage in intercourse with you)"
source: cnews.canoe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Number theory for winning the can opener of your dreams at the holiday Yankee swap
source: finance.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark Shop)
 
 
 
Fark Store Daily Deal: AirJamz bluetooth air pick & music toy. Relive your air guitar fantasies with actual music - makes drums, keyboards, DJ scratches, movie sound effects too. (Sponsored Link)
source: deals.fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tales of the Cocktail)
 
 
 
"You can't find a bar in Louisville that's not going to have twenty different bourbons on the back bar. So in that sense, every bar in Louisville is a bourbon bar"
source: talesofthecocktail.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Helpful Guy)
 
 
 
A friend of the Saturday Morning Book Club has never read a science fiction novel and asked for advice on where to start. Difficulty: he liked the Twilight movies, so obviously he needs our help
source: bestsciencefictionbooks.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Today)
 
 
 
Dog says goodbye to dying owner in hospital and DAMMIT WHERE'S THAT FARKING DUSTVAC
source: today.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
The only reason you don't like vegetarian food is because you're not pairing it with the correct craft beer. Duh
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this soldier
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Pilot of deadly balloon flight was on several drugs that should have prevented him from getting high
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MRC TV)
 
 
 
Oddly enough a boy is sent home for having his hair cut like a boy. No, really. What's next: Girls sent home for having long hair?
source: mrctv.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 25 Boston)
 
 
 
Mac and Cheese may have used up almost all of their nine lives after somehow surviving a 10 alarm fire - that burned for 20 hours, damaging 16 buildings and leaving 125 homeless - without a scratch. Come watch their tearful reunion on Caturday
source: fox25boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
Airports are bringing in therapy animals to help stressed out travelers. Your ancestors who spent months at sea in cramped boats on treacherous waters while battling scurvy hoping they lived to see America are spinning in their graves
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WXYZ Detroit)
 
 
 
It only took 26 years, unfavorable reporting, and being sued for the state of Michigan to stop trying to collect child support from a man who wasn't the child's father. Tag is for the child support agency
source: wxyz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hollywood Reporter)
 
 
 
Remember that film Al Gore made in 2006 that said sea levels would rise 20 feet in the next decade and hurricane activity would double? Well, he used the proceeds to buy a beachfront mansion, but private jets are expensive, so he's made a sequel
source: hollywoodreporter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
But wait, there's more
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(San Francisco Examiner)
 
 
 
San Francisco now trying out flavor-of-the-week in the drinking water supply. This week: Beetroot Surprise
source: sfexaminer.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Package thief looking out for number 1 is rewarded with number 2
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Here's how much you make while you're pooping at work
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
3,000 evacuated after 'British' WWII bomb found near Paris
source: thelocal.fr   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metronews.ca)
 
 
 
Man finds dead mouse in Tim Hortons' coffee cup. Spokesman says, it's not like we charged extra, so what's the big deal?
source: metronews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Secret Santa pays off $46K in layaway at PA Walmart
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Sheep gets hung up in traffic (cone) on way to work in the fields
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Fri December 09, 2016
(Fark)
 
 
 
Once upon a time, in a small village not too far from here, lived a small boy who took notes, did his homework, and scored 1089 on the Fark Weird News Quiz. Let's see if you can do better
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Strangest calls to a sex toy helpline provide surprises, shock, three potential Fark headlines (Some Not safe for work images on page)
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Shanghaiist)
 
 
 
No, China doesn't have a problem with environmental pollution in the countrysides, just ask this 'monkey face' piglet. (Graphic)
source: shanghaiist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
22-year-old discovers his bank has given him unlimited overdraft, spends £1million on sports cars, strippers and parties. The rest he wastes
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
NewsFlash
 
Trump: The Real Manchurian Candidate
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
NORAD prepares to track Santa Claus, though Trump will probably get Tim Allen to head it up next year
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this fruit-lovin' monkey
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Sometimes when you've been left bloodied by bullies who attacked you with stones and an electrical plug you need the support of your local biker gang (Not safe for work content in sidebar)
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
If you think your child is too old for Elf on the Shelf, maybe you should look into Krampus in the Corner
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Kirk Douglas turns 100, mercilessly slaughters 2016 in the arena
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Worldwide Interweb)
 
 
 
The 100 most unfortunate names in human history. It's great knowing we live in a world where Dr. James Grossweiner could one day marry a woman named Charity Beaver. Then they'd combine their last names into "Grossbeaver" for gender equality's sake
source: worldwideinterweb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this...car?
source: popmeh.ru   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vice)
 
 
 
Fireball whiskey now comes in a box. These guys know exactly who they're selling to
source: munchies.vice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Nola.com)
 
 
 
Think John Glenn was a hero? Wait until you meet his wife, Annie (link fixed)
source: nola.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Sorry, drivers, but we have to ask you to stop being so nice. It's dangerous. Sorry
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toronto Life)
 
 
 
I accidentally slept with a Trump supporter. He had a cool motorcycle, ok? You understand
source: torontolife.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Samsung to remotely brick all remaining Note 7s. If you don't return it now, the next update will remotely detonate it
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Vintage News)
 
 
 
Mysterious device found all over Ancient Rome baffles everyone except Ancient Romans
source: thevintagenews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 19 Cincinnati)
 
 
 
PSA: Pork is not Muslim Kyptonite
source: fox19.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
56% of Trump voters say they won't believe news reports that say he's lying. In other news 44% of Trump voters lie to pollsters
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TMZ)
 
 
 
Kanye West comes out of hiding, sees shadow, which means six more weeks of douchebag behavior
source: tmz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
A new Study finds that barely half of 30-year old are earning more than their parents were at the same age, as compared to 92% in 1970-and the number would be even worse except a lot fewer women worked back them
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
Geert Wilders convicted of hate speech. Eyegore unavailable for comment
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Caller)
 
 
 
Brian Williams complains about fake news
source: dailycaller.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark Shop)
 
 
 
Fark Store Daily Deal: Breda Valor Watch. Military-inspired, minimalist wristwatch. It's a watch. (Sponsored Link)
source: deals.fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Man spends over $30,000 to look like Captain America's nemesis, The Red Skull. If he had actually ever read a comic book he would have known that for most of the Skull's history, his red face was just a cheap-ass mask
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Austria's word of the year is so long, Fark would not accept it in this headline
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Arkansas court rules that two women can't be listed on a birth certificate even if they are sisters
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(International Business Times)
 
 
 
Ceasefire in Aleppo means continual bombing apparently
source: ibtimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this Christmas photo fail
source: 24warez.ru   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Please excuse Parker for his absence as he was afflicted with a severe case of Hogwarts
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
17 goes into 32 one too many times
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 5 Atlanta)
 
 
 
Georgia family finds balloon sent by boy to his father in heaven as a Christmas letter. Now they need help to track him down and make his Christmas a merrier one
source: fox5atlanta.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZ Family)
 
 
 
Instead of going to the cops with the evidence, bar owners put security video of a customer stealing the tip jar on social media in hopes of guilting the culprit into returning the money. "We own a bar, people get a little intoxicated, stuff happens"
source: azfamily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Old and busted: Cow tipping. New Farkness: Wheelchair tipping
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
The most Canadian case of road rage and assault you'll ever see
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gothamist)
 
 
 
If you ever had trouble choosing the burger or burrito, your problems have been solved. Behold the burgito
source: gothamist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Sure you walked uphill both ways to get to school, but did you ever go to school when it was bone-crushing minus 53C outside like these Siberian children?
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Christian Science Monitor)
 
 
 
Canada has decided to put the woman who fought segregation on the $10 bill. Hero tag for Ms. Desmond
source: csmonitor.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 

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