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Tue September 26, 2017
Source     Fark Headline Comments
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Massive magnitude 1.5 earthquake felt 'right under people's feet' in New Jersey. No report of shoelaces becoming untied yet
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KRDO Colorado Springs)
 
 
 
The Mad Pooper of Colorado Springs has a spokesman. Then it gets weird
source: krdo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
When you're Mark Zuckerberg you can't even pull up in a limousine to a cheesesteak shop in Philadelphia and order six cheesesteaks with Cheese Whiz and fried onions without igniting a culture war on social media
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
If it ain't bent that way, keep pushing
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
The wedding was attended by 90 invitees and 200 extremely confused shoppers
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Delish.com)
 
 
 
Just make it stop already
source: delish.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The College Fix)
 
 
 
Apparently to some in the PC crowd, it's now time to rewrite the Declaration of Independence so it's 'gender-neutral'. *rolls eyes*
source: thecollegefix.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Mon September 25, 2017
(Jalopnik)
 
 
 
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to Tim Horton's
source: jalopnik.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Foodbeast)
 
 
 
Smokin' Ed looks to break another world record, ring of fire
source: foodbeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
California state dinosaur announces official California state dinosaur
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSAZ West Virginia)
 
 
 
Proof that Rule 34 applies to everyone, even funeral directors
source: wsaz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Action News Jacksonville)
 
 
 
Your cop uncle is out of town. Do you 1. Wear his uniform to impress your girl | 2. Take his patrol car and pull over people | Spoiler Alert: Both
source: actionnewsjax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Old and busted: Too pretty to go to prison. New hotness: Too bright to go to prison
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(9 News)
 
 
 
Accidentally scratch someone's parked car? An apology note, $40, and half a joint ought to make things right. Yes, it was Colorado
source: 9news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Katie Quackenbush, the woman in Nashville who shot a homeless man from her Porsche, is the classic definition of country music struggle. She has a $2.5 million trust fund, is an $800-an-hour escort, and is seeking a reality TV show and music career (NSFW)
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark NotNewsletter: Drew announces a new book with Adam Savage 🤖
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
If you're running late for court, using fake police lights on your car while trafficking ecstasy and meth is a really bad idea
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Flickr)
 
 
 
Photoshop what Darth Vader is really watching/playing
source: c1.staticflickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Tragedy today, as former Pope Benedict XVI was eaten by wolves. He was delicious
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TuneIn)
 
 
 
Tonight at 8PM EDT, Paul's Memory Bank brings you 2 hours of songs with places (specific or general) in the title. Yeah, we're done with the alphabet kick for a long time
source: tunein.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
Train conductor demands legless man prove he's disabled, so the guy beat him with his wooden leg. Well, he should have
source: thelocal.fr   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(14 News Evansville)
 
 
 
The suspect was seen headed north on Route 41. He is described as wearing a Coca Cola bottle
source: 14news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Meanwhile, in Russia...
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
That dude is so getting laid later
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Usher is hailed as a hero for stopping a church gunman. Almost makes up for Bieber
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Things have gotten so bad in Greece that packs of wild dogs control the streets of most of their major cities
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Patch)
 
 
 
Man arrested by Secret Service near the White House had a "slew of weapons", told officers he wanted to talk to Gen Mattis or Adm Rogers about "how to get the chip out of my head." He is expected to be working for Alex Jones by the end of the week
source: patch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this Link
source: i5.walmartimages.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boing Boing)
 
 
 
"Pharma-Bro" Martin Shkreli is finally where he truly belongs: Locked up with the general population at the Metropolitan Detention Center in New York City. Bonus: No internet
source: boingboing.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Lingerie-clad Miami high school cheerleaders .... and you're gone. I have 184 characters remaining. Anything you want to talk about? How's the weather? it's a hot one for the first week of fall here.... Jeez, still have 40 remaining characters
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS 12 West Palm Beach)
 
 
 
You've just crashed your vehicle into canal at night. As it slowly sinks into the dark waters, do you risk drowning in vehicle, or climbing out to face approaching alligators?
source: cbs12.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Fox 8 Greensboro)
 
 
 
Soon all of Hong Kong's dolphins could be dead (cetacean needed)
source: myfox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
No one seems to know why Chad was just banned from entering the U.S., but it's likely because he's the guy who keeps leaving the seat up
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Nola.com)
 
 
 
Bourbon Street party people: Can you believe that drunken loser is spitting on people from that balcony? Karma: I got this
source: nola.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WNEP Scranton)
 
 
 
Tombstones found on power plant property, meaning subby's Walking Dead/Godzilla fan fic mashup is one step closer to reality
source: wnep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Man behind the infamous 1995 "Alien Autopsy" video reveals he was just fooling us this whole time. Finally we can take all these tight-fitting tinfoil hats off our loosely-wrapped heads
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
Governor of Puerto Rico calls on Pentagon for increased hurricane relief in an attempt doomed to failure due to a lack of NFL teams on the island who could draw attention by kneeling
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
North Korean foreign minister says Emperor Hirocheeto's recent comments amount to a declaration of war
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
NewsFlash
 
If you have an erection lasting 21 months, seek relief in the prison shower
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2017-09-17 to Sat 2017-09-23. Just like healthcare.gov, Headline of the Week will need to be down for a little maintenance. For 12 hours, once a week, every week. Like any web site
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Dog walker's dog fetches a sex toy and won't drop it. By now, it's all wet and gooey, and you know how dogs are (NSFW)
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(5 News Fayetteville)
 
 
 
If the cops find three syringes in your vagina, along with an opioid pill wrapped in a $20 bill, you might as well try and forge your sister's signature on the arrest paperwork
source: 5newsonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Snake handler death declared a "mystery" despite snake being found near body, snake-shaped bruises on the neck, snake confession note
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this lemur
source: static.pexels.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Q13 Fox)
 
 
 
Man falls to his death at Wallace Falls. Were-rabbit, penguin wanted for questioning
source: q13fox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Cannibal family admits to killing and eating 30 people over 18 years. One of their victims was a clown who did taste a bit funny. I'll let myself out
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Let's see how Yolo Minneapolis's Free Speech Week rally went today. ... Oh dear
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bangor Daily News)
 
 
 
Attention people of Maine: Just because a farmer's corn is growing right next to the highway doesn't mean you can just pull over and pick some ears for free
source: bangordailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Zuckerberg was warned months ago about Facebook being used to spread disinformation to disrupt elections. Thanks Obama
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Damn near killed 'em
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Good: Lost 13-year old dog rescued by hikers on Mount Bross after being there six weeks. Fark: Who takes a senior dog hiking in the mountains in the first place?
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 59)
 
 
 
This is why they always did head counts on school field trips
source: fox59.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Remember when getting blotto drunk as a teenager was seen as a rite of passage into adulthood? Not so much with teenagers these days
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
What does the fox weigh?
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 

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