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Sat May 28, 2016
Source     Fark Headline Comments
(Blogger.com)
 
 
 
Photoshop this laser scanner deployment
source: 4.bp.blogspot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Common sense comes to a playground in Chicago? The hell you say
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Time)
 
 
 
Tennessee sheriff indicted for selling e-cigarettes to prisoners in his own jail
source: time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Seattle Times)
 
 
 
Rule 1 of being a getaway driver: Don't run over your wife as she is being pursued by loss prevention officers
source: seattletimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
The case for the Earth's most intelligent animals to be granted personhood
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Man shoots doctor who helped deliver his baby 'because he was a man'
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Court rules divorced Italian pizza maker can pay child support in the form of free pizza, allows ex-wife to get a slice of the pie
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Mmmmm...autocooked steak
source: insider.foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Shanghaiist)
 
 
 
Want to impress your friends? Eat a whole a load of 15cm nails.. Want to make the hospital staff laugh as they open you up? Eat a whole load of 15cm nails
source: shanghaiist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Not Tony Stark)
 
 
 
Niger Delta Avengers attack oil and gas pipelines in direct violation of the Sokovia Accords
source: premiumtimesng.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Virginia declares a Civil War battlefield an active crime scene. When will they just admit they lost?
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
Unspeakable tragedy as semi-trailer truck full of beer catches fire on Michigan highway. Authorities report that...wait, it was just Budweiser? Whew---we dodged a close one here, folks
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Modern Farmer)
 
 
 
Want to play with your food? Want to play music with your vegetables? Stick some celery up your nose and learn how to play the celery nose flute
source: modernfarmer.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Arkansas Online)
 
 
 
Of all the ways to go, dying in a hammock accident doesn't really sound so bad
source: arkansasonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Time)
 
 
 
Rich people neighbor problems
source: time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Father of the year and proud of it
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
The Statue of Liberty stands in New Jersey's water, the McFarthest Spot in the country is in Nevada's Sheldon National Antelope Refuge, Point Roberts, Washington can only be accessed via Canada, and other weird locations in the United States
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Dot)
 
 
 
Dentist reports security breach, gets raided by FBI. This is not a drill
source: dailydot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Epicurious)
 
 
 
What is your favorite cookbook? What is the strangest cookbook you've ever heard of? And what are the cookbooks every cook should never be without? The Saturday Morning Book Club is hungry this week
source: epicurious.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this waiting room wait
source: themominmemd.files.wordpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Russia Today)
 
 
 
All hands on deck, it's time for Caturday to set sail
source: rt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCSH 8 Portland)
 
 
 
"Well...of course I don't believe in what the Confederates believed in," fifth-grader Grey Perham said. "But I liked it more than being in the giant blue blob"
source: wcsh6.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KFOR Oklahoma City)
 
 
 
Woman dies in freak ziplining accident. Oliver Queen inconsolable
source: kfor.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Plane crashes in Hudson River. Sorry, not Sully
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salon)
 
 
 
What life is like in a cult
source: salon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Every now and then you come across a kid who has enough sarcasm to bring back your faith in the next generation
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NOAA)
 
 
 
Say a big Fark hello to Tropical Depression Two, soon to be the newest best buddy of the South Carolina coast
source: nhc.noaa.gov   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Times)
 
 
 
How much do I hear for this Trump-Bernie debate? Do I hear 5 million? Do I hear 10 million? Over there, 20 million dollars Going once, going twice
source: washingtontimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Health Grove)
 
 
 
As Boomers continue to age, guess which counties consume the most Medicare benefits in your state?
source: medicare-usage.healthgrove.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
Bobby the cocker spaniel goes for a walk, falls down a well, survives for two weeks by licking condensation off the well's wall and eating insects before being found. "We took him home for scrambled eggs and a bath"
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Have you ever wanted to own a 747? Do you have $415k in your rainy day fund? Then this might just be your lucky day
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Des Moines Register)
 
 
 
Just in time for Memorial Day weekend, here is your Fark-ready headline: Man assaulted woman with package of frozen brats
source: desmoinesregister.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
"The owner did produce a smoke alarm. It was still in its wrapping in a drawer. They don't work like that"
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Fri May 27, 2016
(Delaware Online)
 
 
 
Oh wait, is this not an appropriate place to make a U-Turn?
source: delawareonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZ Family)
 
 
 
Just because you don't agree with a street preacher condemning your way of life doesn't mean you get to whack him in the back of the head with a bat
source: azfamily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vox)
 
 
 
Please, everybody. Stop with the irresponsible cell-phones-cause-cancer reporting. But, how will all the crackpot, bogus, useless, crapola vendors make money?
source: vox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gothamist)
 
 
 
Why yes, you heard correctly, I do like donuts, but why are you calling me 'dawg'?
source: gothamist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Voice of America)
 
 
 
The Times They Are a- Changin': ISIS knows the best way to attack America is to have Americans do it
source: voanews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCAX Vermont)
 
 
 
People drowning fleeing their homes, absolute batshait nuts election, and this... this is what is deemed newsworthy? Can you flip a bottle as well as some kid did in a high school talent contest?
source: wcax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSTU FOX 13)
 
 
 
Police responded to reports of a nude man with bells tied 'round his genitals running around Salt Lake
source: fox13now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Get a room?
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(C|Net)
 
 
 
Google reveals people in Massachewtits, no Massachuses, wait, Massachoosets, well, anyway, they have to google to figure out how to spell their own state name
source: cnet.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NY Post)
 
 
 
Photoshop this public anger
source: nyppagesix.files.wordpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
Least surprising news article of the day: College of Business Infested with Parasitic Bloodsuckers
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTVU Bay Area News)
 
 
 
Cute girl visited SF house over 150 years ago and never left
source: ktvu.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
Norwegian company opens office in Minecraft, allowing people to collaborate creatively in a virtual environment while being sssssssssssBOOOOM goddammit, not again
source: thelocal.no   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
When I was a kid I had to climb a 2,625-foot cliffside ladder to get back and forth to school. Well at least it was only uphill, one way
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bangor Daily News)
 
 
 
Torn from the front page of the Bangor Daily News: Truck driving erotically in Southwest Harbor
source: bangordailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
France has outlawed weekend work emails. Now only outlaws will have weekend work emails
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
More than 300 people on board Korean Air plane evacuated after engine fire. They also left the plane
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
The average worker in ancient Rome was dead by thirty, with arthritis and multiple broken bones. That's nothing, I got a callous on my thumb from having to man the cappuccino maker all day long
source: thelocal.it   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vice)
 
 
 
How Uber is changing drug dealing. Yes, people are dumb enough to have a GPS tracked Uber car take them to score drugs
source: motherboard.vice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
For the first time in a real situation, 97-year-old Dr. Heimlich got to use his maneuver
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Chicago Police think they have a new way to solve the city's persistent gun violence problem: they are going to math the living hell out of it
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
One should bee careful when visiting an Arizona park. Also, don't use honey as a skin softener
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Jews begin their annual pilgrimage to the oldest known synagogue in Africa. Difficulty: it's located in Tunisia which is currently being wracked by jihadist violence, so security has been upgraded from "heavy" to "Presidential visit"
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
It's a rough time in Europe right now, what with the migrant crisis, Greece melting down and the looming Brexit, but on the bright side, Europeans can still mock each other's stereotypes
source: thelocal.fr   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TwinCities.com)
 
 
 
Stealing a boat, breaking into a house, and fighting the homeowner with exercise equipment while naked isn't normal, but on... yeah you already know what he was on
source: twincities.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
Accountant embezzles $100K from Seattle Children's Hospital to build Hindu temple and will now be slapped with five counts of theft, possibly one from each of Kali's arms and the last from Ganesh's trunk
source: seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Tribune Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this sign of the times
source: trbimg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
The Queen takes a Pooh
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(13 News Now)
 
 
 
Apparently, having stayed in a Holiday Inn Express last night is enough to qualify you to diagnose traumatic brain injuries, at least according to the VA
source: 13newsnow.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
And this week's contestant in the Mother of The Year competition is also a contestant for the Coolest Mother of The Year, depending upon your perspective
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wimp)
 
 
 
Meet the tree that's older than the United States
source: wimp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Most of you have probably already left the office, but for those of you who can't, we have a very special slightly early edition of the Fark Weird News Quiz
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
It's Memorial Day weekend so it's time for calm, common sense advice in shark reporting, starting with "Don't become a human happy meal"
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
So the Taliban, who were the US enemies, but are now allies in Afghanistan, team up with Iran, who is a foe to the US, to fight ISIS, who is...I...I just give up
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Stack)
 
 
 
Batphone becomes reality
source: thestack.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Onion AV Club)
 
 
 
Gotdammit, internet. Someone has written erotic fiction starring Guy Fieri and Ted Cruz *barf*
source: avclub.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(DNA Info)
 
 
 
"I thought it was just a test of the gates, I'm used to 'CHOO-CHOO' when a train approaches" says woman who recently escaped Darwin's grasp
source: dnainfo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kent Online)
 
 
 
Couple of guys manage to steal £170,000 worth of vans using a secretive thief's tool called a "Jiggler." Bonus: Article contains an image of an entire set of "Jigglers," just in case, you know, you ever get locked out of your own van or something
source: kentonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC 2 Fort Myers)
 
 
 
The story of the the 15-year-old girl who had sex with several boys in a HS bathroom while up to 25 others watched just got weirder as her mother claims she was kidnapped at age 13 and held captive by human traffickers for almost two years
source: nbc-2.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Brand new roller coaster crammed full of passengers gets stuck. 45 feet in the air. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOPE
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Turkey is REALLY pissed that photos have emerged of US commandos working with terrorists and by terrorists they mean Kurds
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark Shop)
 
 
 
Fark Store Daily Deal: Photography e-courses. Missing: that course you wanted on taking better selfies. (Sponsored Link)
source: deals.fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(War History Online)
 
 
 
Just when you thought nuclear weapons could not get more stupid, here is the USAF official tactic of dropping a nuke while doing a loop de loop in a bomber
source: warhistoryonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Convers8tion (Australia))
 
 
 
Up until the 19th century, bathrooms were not separated by gender or sex
source: theconversation.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Arkansas Online)
 
 
 
If the judge sentences you to 15 years of probation for stalking a television news reporter, you probably shouldn't tell him you plan on stalking her again the moment the sentence expires
source: arkansasonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters Media)
 
 
 
Photoshop these public shenanigans
source: s3.reutersmedia.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Alaska Dispatch News)
 
 
 
You're a special kind of alcoholic if you use a front-end loader to break into a liquor store before leading police on a low-speed chase
source: adn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
USS Hoffa found buried under NJ home
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Shroud of Urine discovered at local gym
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Inside Edition)
 
 
 
Girl with severe burn scars burns the competition to become Prom Queen at her school
source: insideedition.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Affluenza mom to join her douchebag son in jail
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vox)
 
 
 
Venezuela has completely collapsed
source: vox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
For whom the (Memphis) Belle tolls
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Shame
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 

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