Internet news site Fark.com offers to buy Lenin from Russian Government
With controversy raging in Russia over what to do with Lenin's body, Fark.com has tendered an offer to the Russian Government to purchase Lenin.
When asked what he planned to do with Lenin, Fark Proprietor Drew Curtis noted that he had put the question to members of his wildly popular news and entertainment website. Some suggested a tour of the United States, including Disneyland "since it's a place that Soviet Premiers seem to want to visit," said Curtis. He also suggested that since Fark.com is located in Kentucky, perhaps a trip to Disneyland could begin with a driving tour of the United States. "We could stop in Moscow, Kansas, or Moscow, Arkansas, even Moscow, Idaho. Possibly even St. Petersburg Florida. I hear the Devil Rays are looking for a new manager, maybe he could submit a resume. Didn't Lenin say he invented baseball?"
Other suggestions for Lenin included cloning him, challenging Michael Jackson's elephant man to a fight, having him run for President in 2008, taking him to see the world's largest Cheeto in Algona, Iowa, using him as the second person in a car in an HOV lane, swapping him with Bob's Big Boy statue to see how long it takes before anyone notices, and having him put on a Yankees uniform and taking him to Fenway Park in a move that would surely offend everyone. Curtis also suggested reuniting him with Paul McCartney but was later disappointed to hear he was thinking of the wrong person.
When Curtis was asked how he might feel if Pravda offered to buy the remains of George Washington, he replied that he didn't think it was possible to buy them but that he would see what he could do about working a trade for actor Abe Vigoda. "Last I heard, Abe was still insisting he was alive but I think that's just an Internet rumor," said Curtis.
Media interested in further comment should feel free to email drew at fark dotcom