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Sun December 21, 2014
Source     Fark Headline Comments
(C|Net)
 
 
 
Idiot found guilty of being one after calling emergency 999 number to report his friend had been shot in the chest and was dying. 'His friend' in this case being a character in the GTA V game he was playing
source: cnet.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(5)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Study: Kids that eat fast food are more stupider than kids who don't
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(41)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
How to survive if the cable of the elevator you're in snaps, sending the car into free-fall. You don't already have a plan for this? How could you NOT?
source: uk.screen.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(68)
 
(Fark)
 
Plug
 
Totalfark: Sort of like Thunderdome, but with alcohol. And cats
 
 
(Vox)
 
 
 
Tipping perpetuates racism, classism, and poverty. Unless you tip the standard 25%, of course
source: vox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(95)
 
(TreeHugger)
 
 
 
Finally an ethical solution if you want to wear fur coats and wraps: Only make them out of roadkill
source: treehugger.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(20)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Is your skin tingling? If you are a man, then you are probably talking to a fertile woman
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(40)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this...um...house?
source: ribalych.ru   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(17)
 
(Salon)
 
 
 
Millennials love living in downtown areas of big cities, but they can't find good jobs close to home. Oh, the hipster struggle is real
source: salon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(62)
 
(WTFark)
 
Plug
 
Potty All The Time: France legalizes toilets in kitchens and living rooms. Finally, we can Sh** where we eat.
 
 
(Reason Magazine)
 
 
 
Not News: Pennsylvania arrests a dangerous dealer and plans on destroying his $160,000 stash. Fark: a man who offered to sell a few bottles of wine from his private expensive collection, without a liquor license in an 8-month sting operation
source: reason.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(86)
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
The winning $1 million recipe in the 47th Pillsbury Bake-Off contains only 4 ingredients
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(72)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
ISIS sets demands for them leaving Mosul. But they are totally not afraid of the Kurdish Peshmerga. They are just doing it to be nice
source: basnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(88)
 
(Patriot Ledger)
 
 
 
Don't you hate it when your sister OD's so you rush her to the hospital but you crash and snakes crawl out of your arm and bite you and say you've shot up almost as much as her and shouldn't be driving and then they morph into police officers?
source: patriotledger.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(30)
 
(Durango Herald)
 
 
 
Colorado DOT removes wildlife speed enforcement zones because they didn't work. Since when is not working a reason to end a government program?
source: durangoherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(35)
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Americans aren't getting married, and researchers think porn is part of the problem
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(180)
 
(Omaha World Herald)
 
 
 
Fire that gutted a town's city hall was "probably arson," what with the fact it destroyed all the city's financial records shortly before a mandatory state audit, claims Iowa's Chief Fire Investigator Ric Romero
source: omaha.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(18)
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Another cop shot and killed. Authorities mum on details
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(124)
 
(Fox 40 Sacramento)
 
 
 
Worst. Storage Wars. Ever
source: fox40.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(53)
 
(Daily Record (UK))
 
 
 
This shark fishermen does NOT need a bigger boat, he has done just fine with his record breaking catch
source: dailyrecord.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(37)
 
(Clarion-Ledger)
 
 
 
Droopy poinsettias can be saved. This is not a euphemism
source: clarionledger.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(15)
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Bitcoin pioneer getting two years in prison is a virtual reality
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(29)
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Apparently, there were some researchers out there who actually thought cities had installed red light cameras for a purpose other than revenue collection
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(71)
 
(Time (Images))
 
 
 
Photoshop this badass
source: timedotcom.files.wordpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(21)
 
(Entertainment Tonight)
 
 
 
CSB Sunday Morning: Cool Story Bowlcut
source: etonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(113)
 
(Cleveland Plain Dealer)
 
 
 
Cleveland men's argument over their sexuality ends in a sword fight. Well, that clears up any confusion
source: cleveland.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(50)
 
(Fox 40 Sacramento)
 
 
 
Couple moves into a serial killer's old digs and then bolts a life size replica of the murderess' likeness to the front of the house. Results are predictable
source: fox40.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(45)
 
(Salon)
 
 
 
"Ask anyone born later than 1970 what they think of when they hear the name Richard Pryor and, unless they draw a complete blank, they'll gush over movies like "The Toy" or "Superman III," says columnist with no concept of reality
source: salon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(139)
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
While everybody was watching Pahoa in Hawaii, lava snuck up and ate another town in Cape Verde
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(22)
 
(News 10 Albany)
 
 
 
High School senior wins fight to have photo of her with her rifle included in yearbook. Obviously, she's compensating for having a small penis
source: news10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(109)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
CNN addresses the difficult questions. "Mom, why do your boobs hang?"
source: us.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(48)
 
(Boston.com)
 
 
 
JFK was so tough on the Soviets that he even went as far as to protect Santa Claus
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(13)
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Man forgets to blow out a candle in a room with a fish tank and you know what happens next
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(67)
 
(KJRH Tulsa)
 
 
 
Man runs stop sign, jumps a curb and blows a tire. He then walks away from the scene with his case of beer. Pretty impressive for a former police chief
source: kjrh.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(25)
 
(My Fox Boston)
 
 
 
Woman: I won $10,000 on the lottery. Store clerk: Congrats. Here's your $930. Woman: What about the rest of the money? Store clerk: What money?
source: myfoxboston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(93)
 
(TuneIn)
 
 
 
Coming up at the top of the hour it's a very special Christmas edition of Livingston Stapler Company Presents. Two hours of live music from Juneau, Alaska, hosted by a farker
source: tunein.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(151)
 
(My Fox Boston)
 
 
 
Driver calls police, gets arrested on DUI charge after pants fall down
source: myfoxboston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(19)
 


Sat December 20, 2014
(ABC7 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Family facing foreclosure on home they built themselves rescued by skydiving Santa with a check. I'm sure he kicked up a lot of that stupid dust metaphor
source: abc7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(25)
 
(Salon)
 
 
 
2014: The Year America Overreacted in Fear
source: salon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(83)
 
(ABC)
 
 
 
Whiny neighbors complained about his awesome Christmas displays. I bet they're sorry now. Also, where can I get a urinating Santa that lights up at night?
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(140)
 
(Time (Images))
 
 
 
Photoshop this special delivery
source: timedotcom.files.wordpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(18)
 
(Talking Points Memo)
 
 
 
Woman tries to trademark "I can't breathe" to sell merchandise
source: talkingpointsmemo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(68)
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Baghdad has new Western-style shopping mall - one with metal detectors, armed guards, and pat-down specialists, but nevertheless a mall. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(41)
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
Sorry, citizen, but our sensors indicate that you were speeding through the toll plaza. Your driving privileges on this road have been suspended
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(81)
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
Barely news: Some kid gets mugged in Chicago. Big time news: The mayor's kid gets mugged in Chicago
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(30)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
A new tradition is born in Ireland: "The 12 Pubs of Christmas" ... to be visited all in one night
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(30)
 
(Vox)
 
NewsFlash
 
Two cops shot and killed in NYC in retaliation for the recent killings of unarmed black men across the country. News conference at 7pm EST
source: vox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(1084)
 
(Grand Forks Herald)
 
 
 
Apparently misunderstanding what the Shop With A Cop event was all about, woman attempts to make off with $40 in unpaid merchandise
source: grandforksherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(8)
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
If you bought those shoes with the separate toes, you may get $8 back to offset your embarrassment
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(51)
 
(Google)
 
 
 
Fark Foodie Question: Chicken-fried steak with cream gravy: abomination unto the Lord or the essence of all that is good and true?
source: google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(145)
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
The worst thing you can do for yourself is to boost your immune system
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(24)
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Passed out drunk behind the wheel, engine running, stereo blasting and wearing an Elf on the Shelf costume, is no way to go through life son. Why yes, there is a pic
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(15)
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
NORAD began tracking Santa because of a wrong number
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(41)
 
(Examiner)
 
 
 
Last minute shopping idea. Go trendy and buy him/her a selfie-stick. (Not sure whether this should be labeled "Cool," "Spiffy," or "Stupid.")
source: examiner.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(39)
 
(My Fox Houston)
 
 
 
A man is feeling a little down, so a worried friend calls police. Multi-agency task force lies to get warrant, sends SWAT team in to hit him with stun grenades, tasers, rubber bullets, and then beat him senseless. Bonus: 3 years of malicious prosecution
source: myfoxhouston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(358)
 
(WDRB Louisville)
 
 
 
"Apparently getting drunk in Kentucky and kicking over headstones is considered a recreational activity"
source: wdrb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(25)
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
If you're a politician and it's discovered that you're following a porn star on your Twitter account, you could shrug it off. Or you could claim your account was hacked and file formal complaints with Twitter and notify the authorities
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(32)
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Best Korea would like to help the U.S. find the real hackers. OJ nods approvingly
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(81)
 
(News On 6 Tulsa)
 
 
 
Who gets arrested for cattle rustling in 2014? How about the same genius who was arrested in 2009 for shoplifting at a place where he had just finished filling out an employment application
source: newson6.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(22)
 
(Minneapolis Star Tribune)
 
 
 
"I know. Let's let's have a die-in protest at America's largest mall on the busiest shopping day of the year." Don't these idiotic protestors have anything better to do?
source: startribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(165)
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Now that they are losing battles, ISIS's eager jihad volunteers ain't so eager, and they have taken to shooting them to keep them from deserting
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(120)
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Teacher writes 'stupid' on student's forehead. The teacher even took the trouble to scribe it backwards so it would appear correctly when the pupil looked in the mirror
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(46)
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
How Elian Gonzalez' hometown is embracing the new Communism, aka "socialism with capitalism." In other news, Elian Gonzalez turned 21 two weeks ago and you are old
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(61)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Judge: It belongs in a zoo
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(32)
 
(WCVB Boston)
 
 
 
Boston to shame scofflaws with brightly colored brand. This is not a repeat from 1642
source: wcvb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(54)
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Awwwww. Does anyone have a red light camera to record the tiny violins that are playing for all the towns in New Jersey that were feeding their budgets with them? *crickets*
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(83)
 
(Keloland)
 
 
 
First came "Don't Jerk and Drive" now "Party Santa." OK, which Farker is working for the South Dakota Department of Public Safety?
source: keloland.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(30)
 
(CBS Philadelphia)
 
 
 
Some people have said they would like to eliminate all members of Congress and start over. Their wish may come true. "When he returns ..., the senator and his aide will monitor their health for three weeks.... Neither will quarantine themselves"
source: philadelphia.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(24)
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
The worst graduate degree a person can invest in? An M.F.A. in poetry. At least English majors stand a chance at getting gainful employment
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(80)
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Kayaker sues FDNY for giving him props
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(50)
 
(Deslidefied)
 
 
 
Here are ten things that aren't illegal but should be, because somebody has to complain about driving barefoot
source: deslide.clusterfake.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(70)
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
The cold medicine industry is nothing but a giant, sniffley racket
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(63)
 
(Fox 4 KC)
 
 
 
And today's weird Salvation Army kettle donation? A gold tooth
source: fox4kc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(16)
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
I don't care how cute your 19-year-old wife is, if you're in the hospital with stab and bite wounds and it's the second time this year she's been arrested for attacking you, it's time to at least get a restraining order
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(91)
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
Man discovers new level of hell after realizing he traded in an xBox game that had the memory card with photos of his son's birth inside
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(51)
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Go home Britain, you're DRUNK
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(25)
 
(KPHO Phoenix)
 
 
 
If you're a registered sex offender, it's probably best if you don't get a job as a mall Santa
source: kpho.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(45)
 
(Mashable)
 
 
 
Dr. Ruth's tips for jolly sex this holiday season: Buy sexy underwear, surprise your partner; buy a vibrator, don't use it too much; if you like being loud during sex, which is alright if you are alone, don't do it when you are with relatives around
source: mashable.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(29)
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
Bar owner arrested for using picture of Buddha wearing headphones on flyer. If only buddhists could be more tolerant of religious depictions, like other religions
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(72)
 
(Yahoo Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this lifting view
source: l.yimg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(18)
 
(Hindustan Times)
 
 
 
We've identified the mastermind of the attack on the Pakistani school. He's called Slim. (Cue Ennio Morricone music)
source: hindustantimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(35)
 
(Western Morning News)
 
 
 
What brings out the worst in people? If you guessed a badger cull, wait, you guessed a badger cull?
source: westernmorningnews.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(37)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Spangles the cross-eyed cat gets a holiday makeover just in time for Caturday
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(732)
 
(News On 6 Tulsa)
 
 
 
Mother arrested for living in tents in the woods with her 7 malnourished kids, while feeding them cattle wormer and keeping their head lice in check with Frontline flea and tick treatment. A banjo just started playing in your head
source: newson6.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(123)
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Little girl can't get over the fact that Santa isn't real, becomes suicidal every year. Did I say "little girl"? I meant 54-year-old mom
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(42)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Social etiquette for threesomes explained to people struggling to manage twosomes
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(48)
 
(KMOV St. Louis)
 
 
 
The electric company's billing office is a place you expect to get shocked, but not by a complete stranger
source: kmov.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(11)
 
(KING 5 News)
 
 
 
Seattle police department kicks off its "hackathon." And by that, they mean they need "techies" to help redact faces and audio to complete a huge backlog of FOIA requests
source: king5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(26)
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Determining just the right tomato to choose isn't a case of black and white - UNTIL NOW
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(30)
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
Getting arrested at Walmart for grand retail theft and getting hauled down to the police department is no laughing matter. Except for these two young ladies
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(66)
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Mandy Rice-Davies, one of the outspoken women at the center of the UK's Profumo affair in the 1960s is finally silenced
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(34)
 

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