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Mon April 24, 2017
Source     Fark Headline Comments
(WNCN Raleigh)
 
 
 
Today's Fark-ready headline: Florida man convicted of murdering former FSU mascot in fight over gumbo spices
source: wncn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Talk Radio (UK))
 
 
 
Apparently Russia has its own version of Disneyland. Although in place of Mickey Mouse they've got dead Nazis and instead of the Magic Kingdom they've got a German building on fire
source: talkradio.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MEL Magazine)
 
 
 
Still putting two spaces after a period in a sentence? YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG
source: melmagazine.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Homestar Runner's going back to their roots for a 20th anniversary episode, and they are using Mario Paint? Also Fark gets a big nod
source: redbull.tv   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark NotNewsletter: Why 4 out of 5 dentists recommend Fark
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Google)
 
 
 
I'll see your four Mattress Firms in the same mall parking lot and raise you 10 mattress stores within .6 miles of each other
source: google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Mrs. Orange County, why don't you have a seat over there
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(National Geographic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this red fox, you big dummy
source: yourshot.nationalgeographic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Man arrested over elaborate plot designed to get him out of a vacation with his girlfriend
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gothamist)
 
 
 
Authorities in the NY Metro Area begin "Gotham Shield" nuclear response drills. FEMA is involved. You know what that means
source: gothamist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BNO News)
 
NewsFlash
 
Chile hit by 7.1 earthquake, still nowhere close to what the Chili's bathrooms get every night
source: bnonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Oregon teen sells $1 million in custom socks. In related story, subby's teen kid managed to get out of bed this morning
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TuneIn)
 
 
 
Tonight at 8PM EDT, Paul's Memory Bank plays two hours of songs beginning with the letter "K". For some reason, King Kong songs happened to be fairly popular
source: beta.tunein.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Palm Beach Post)
 
 
 
High school student wears prom dress with faces of those who inspired Black Lives Matter
source: palmbeachpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Korean Guy)
 
 
 
50 years of photos of us staring into the Korean DMZ--and the North Koreans staring back
source: timeline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(1011 Now Lincoln)
 
 
 
Woman gives birth by the bear exhibit at the Omaha zoo. Name the Zoo Baby contest in 3,2,1
source: 1011now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
In new twist on 'Florida man' meme, Florida Monkey now running wild
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Rocketnews 24)
 
 
 
Japanese drifter lived undetected above public toilet for 3 years until surprised electrician discovered him and his crawlspace. Aaaand his 300 plastic bottles of urine
source: en.rocketnews24.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Spectator UK)
 
 
 
When Dr. Carla Valentine isn't dissecting corpses, she runs Dead Meet (a dating website for "death professionals"). She holds someone's heart in her hands every day. And her forthcoming dissertation is called "Putting the ROT into Erotic"
source: spectator.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
United beats you up. American hits you with strollers. Delta violates the Geneva Convention
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop um, whatever the heck this is
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(9 News)
 
 
 
New billboard day causes multi-car pileup
source: 9news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun (Ireland))
 
 
 
Philippine president Rodrigo Duterte vows to skip the fava beans and chianti, will just eat ISIS fanatics 'with vinegar and salt' if they are captured by his troops
source: thesun.ie   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 8 Cleveland)
 
 
 
You know you waited too long to mow the lawn when you find a man dead from an overdose in it
source: fox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Dallas News)
 
 
 
Active Shooter reported near Dallas book suppository building. This is not a repeat from 1963
source: dallasnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Talk Radio (UK))
 
 
 
Two things you'll learn from this story. One: You can fit some surprisingly large objects in women's underwear. And two: There's a prison called Isis
source: talkradio.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
"Arrragghuuhw huurh aaahnruh huurh huuguughghg uughguughhhghghghhhgh huurh uughguughhhghghghhhgh uughghhhgh uugggh huuguughghg aarrragghuuhw raaaaaahhgh huuguughghg uuh raaaaaahhgh"
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
Imagine you're a deer. You're prancing along. You get thirsty. You spot a little brook. You put your little deer lips down to the cool, clear water. Bam...some son of a biatch gives you a hug
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sydney Morning Herald)
 
 
 
Terrorist planned to kill seven random Australians a month, not realising that's nothing compared to the death rate from drop bears, platipi, and mollongogoolachucks
source: smh.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Freak accident can mean a lot of things, being killed by Thor among them
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
Need some cuteness to cure the Monday blues? Here are a bunch of guinea pigs eating Brussels sprouts, where the white one might have a massive fart attack. Feel free to post any other animal feeding videos
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fortune)
 
 
 
London bar serves a $23 whisky cocktail alongside a virtual reality headset. Which the customer can use to pretend they didn't just spend $23 for a shot of whisky
source: fortune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Women express concern over the rise of "stealthing," a new trend in which men remove their condom mid-intercourse without the woman's consent. And by "new trend," of course, we mean someone online heard of someone doing this once
source: teenvogue.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AL.com)
 
 
 
It's Confederate Memorial Day y'all. Roll Tide
source: al.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop the Queen and an elephant
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Offering to kiss state trooper who pulled you over for DUI doesn't help, especially without breath mints, luv
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Navy Times)
 
 
 
How administrative incompetence and bureaucratic blunders spun the story of the USS Carl Vinson missing a single port of call into an international incident
source: navytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Weekly)
 
 
 
Old: The Burning Man. New: The Bombay Beach Biennale, which features a drive-in, art shows and other eccentricities in the ghostly landscape of abandoned Salton Sea resorts -- as if you tried to make art houses in Fallout: New Vegas
source: laweekly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Keloland)
 
 
 
Sioux Falls man arrested for trying to run back into a burning building to save his beer. No word on what kind of beer it was
source: keloland.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sydney Morning Herald)
 
 
 
Hello. My name is Sergio Montoya. I kill people's faith in teachers. Prepare to cry
source: smh.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
The US tobacco industry is climbing back after it almost died off in a puff of smoke
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Who's your go to business oriented motivational speaker?
source: media.licdn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
I have no idea what you're talking about, so here are a bunch of things filled with beans that should NEVER be filled with beans
source: imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Houston Press)
 
 
 
NASA claims no one has ever engaged thrusters in space
source: houstonpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sun April 23, 2017
(Magic Valley)
 
 
 
Hello My Name is Marco Antonio Garcia-Garcia. You followed my vehicle. Prepare to die
source: magicvalley.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters Media)
 
 
 
Photoshop this performance
source: s4.reutersmedia.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Newly released documents reveal the sordid 20 year history of the first active duty admiral in U.S. history to be convicted of a felony. Come for kickbacks, stay for the sex with Vietnamese prostitutes
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Legacy.com)
 
 
 
There is just a tad bit of embellishment in this amusing obituary (and some nice shade thrown at the Sacramento Kings)
source: legacy.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Resident complains naked statue of Archimedes casts sphere of distraction
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deviant Art)
 
 
 
Photoshop this hungry child
source: orig05.deviantart.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Ars Technica)
 
 
 
Turns out trying to build a nuclear reactor in your backyard gets you yearly FBI visits for life. Who knew they'd take it so seriously?
source: arstechnica.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kansas City)
 
 
 
Let's go over this one more time: If you're out turkey hunting, don't disguise yourself as a turkey
source: kansascity.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Eat This, Not That)
 
 
 
Snack Food Sunday is ready to snap into some meat snacks. What's your favorite? Do you buy it or make your own? Do pork rinds even qualify? OH YEAH
source: eatthis.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCAX Vermont)
 
 
 
Sorry I didn't get you a Mother's Day card, mom. I couldn't afford one. Because you ruined my credit rating. When I was seven. Remember?
source: wcax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Vienna bartender appeals fine for public belching ... and wins. Blames eating a kebab with too much onion
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
ORLY?
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(9News (Australia))
 
 
 
Not news: 12-year-old boy goes out for a little joyride with car. News: 12-year-old boy gets nailed by police 1300km into his 4000km solo journey across Australia
source: 9news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
The USS Carl Vinson started joint drills with two Japanese destroyers in the western Pacific Ocean on Sunday, according to officials who absolutely pinky-sweared that the aircraft carrier was really there this time
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
This business will get out of control. It will get out of control and we'll be lucky to live through it
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Photoshop theme: You had ONE job
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
CSB Sunday Morning: Seriously Odd Jobs
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WBRZ Baton Rouge)
 
 
 
When transporting weed and Xanax you might want to make sure the car you're driving has a license plate. Or at least eat all the drugs
source: wbrz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Man claims to be addicted to eating trees. Subby is going out on a limb here, but maybe this stems from some deep-rooted problem
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yonhap News (Korea))
 
 
 
Not even sort-of News: Best Korea issues threats against a country for cooperating with U.N. sanctions. Most assuredly news: China
source: english.yonhapnews.co.kr   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Coconuts)
 
 
 
Upon investigation of remote Thai province's 'sacred pond' of black water that villagers believe cures blindness and all illness, officials find the water's magic ingredient to be feces. Holy crap
source: coconuts.co   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TuneIn)
 
 
 
Coming to you from beautiful downtown Juneau, it's another round of Livingston Stapler Company Presents. Two hours of music hosted live by a farker, starting at 9PM AKDT/10PM PDT
source: tunein.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 

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