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Thu April 27, 2017

Source	Fark Headline		Comments
		Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Squish source: pennlive.com \| share:	19
		Caption the Pope receiving a new funny hat source: gannett-cdn.com \| share:	29
		It's the 30th anniversary of Spaceballs, so grab your Schwartz and change Mega-Maid from suck to blow source: tampabay.com \| share:	48

		What's the best marriage advice you've ever heard? source: fark.com \| share:	199
		People put down the juice if you know what's good for you. Those of you still drinking the Kool-Aid, carry on source: washingtonpost.com \| share:	64
		Man imported weapons to protect girlfriend from 'killer clowns' following internet craze source: peterboroughtoday.co.uk \| share:	63
		A Russian warship is sinking after being hit by a freighter carrying livestock off Turkey. So at least kids will have an interesting answer to the question "how did World War III start?" in 20 years' time source: talkradio.co.uk \| share:	142
		Explosion at McDonald's in French town of Grenoble. Authorities unsure if terrorism related, or Monsieur Creosote finished his meal source: express.co.uk \| share:	85

		Are you happy to see me or are you carrying 23 pounds of cocaine in your pants? source: cnn.com \| share:	16
		Photoshop these rescued dogs source: i.imgur.com \| share:	17
		The safest seat on a plane according to crash data, Asian doctors source: huffingtonpost.com \| share:	53
		Mugwump is a word; your argument is invalid source: metro.co.uk \| share:	38
		Apparently parents in the UK need to teach their children the correct medical terms for their dangly bits and vajayjays source: metro.co.uk \| share:	55
		Alaska: A rugged land where the men are men, the beer is cold, and the women strip naked to fight state troopers source: adn.com \| share:	37
		While we're waiting on WWIII to begin, you can remain safely in your bunker to take the Fark Weird News Quiz source: fark.com \| share:	20
		A jewelry store is selling a 33lb gold-plated Darth Vader mask for only $1.4 million. Pray they do not alter the deal further source: fromthegrapevine.com \| share:	37
		"What Americans now have to fear is a federal police state bent on increasing its power, flexing its muscles, and never apologizing" source: alternet.org \| share:	174
		IRS raids offices of Benny Hinn Ministries. No word if he tried to escape by flailing his jacket or patting the head of short, bald old man source: patheos.com \| share:	112
		Remember that house that blew up last week? It might have been less of a "meth cooking house" and more of an "oil well 170ft from the house." Anadarko closes 3,000 oil wells source: 9news.com \| share:	36
		Hey, Pepsi - Take notes! source: youtube.com \| share:	61
		Theme of Farktography Contest No. 625: "On the Border". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme source: farktography.net \| share:	47

Wed April 26, 2017

		Old, Skidoo: Spiking the punch at parties. New, Extreme: Spiking the guest at a party with a fatal punch source: foxnews.com \| share:	57
		Massachusetts officials propose putting endangered rattlesnakes on uninhabited island. Public resistance stops plan. Massachusetts officials propose putting endangered rattlesnakes on inhabited mainland source: masslive.com \| share:	63
		Beaver gets lubed, avoids getting stuffed source: thestar.com \| share:	58
		Photoshop this biker who's missing something source: cdn.theatlantic.com \| share:	24
		The status of industrial metal, the fate of the Facebook Live killer, and where cheeseburgers come from. These are YOUR Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2017-04-16 to Sat 2017-04-22 source: fark.com \| share:	3
		Man arrested after crashing van, while on fire, en route to a home robbery; otherwise known as just another day in the Sunshine State source: wtsp.com \| share:	26
		While it's not unusual to find chicken on a subway sandwich it is a tad unusual to find one or two on the subway source: dailymail.co.uk \| share:	35
		Russian man receives the longest-ever prison sentence in the U.S. for hacking. Ironically, the sentence for any American conspiring with Russian hackers is four years in the White House source: pcworld.com \| share:	62
		Sixth grader threatened with suspension after school officials notice he has GASP two lines in his haircut. OH NOES source: click2houston.com \| share:	131
		Experts think Florida should sell its poop rather than dump it on farms source: tcpalm.com \| share:	38
		Lacking outrageous fortune, indigenous people of Brazil offer slings and arrows source: bbc.com \| share:	35
		Photoshop this dancer source: cdn.theatlantic.com \| share:	23
		Man accused of stealing twenty-six guns to support his heroin addiction. Hey, when you gotta shoot up, you gotta shoot up source: freep.com \| share:	52
		Fake Mother's Day coupon scam targets Lowe's, imperiling everyone who wanted to buy their mother a radial arm saw this year source: aol.com \| share:	73
		Utah: 'Come for vacation, leave on probation.' Not quite as snappy as 'what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas' source: sltrib.com \| share:	115
		A married couple with three children are filing for divorce so their shared 21-year-old girlfriend won't feel left out source: sfgate.com \| share:	205
		Science: dolphin vagina mystery solved. Still no cure for cancer source: cbc.ca \| share:	72
		"As you may realize, when a morbidly obese person is cremated, there's a danger of what can only be called (in layman's terms) a 'grease fire'" source: wcpo.com \| share:	175
		U.S. Navy destroyer has run-in with Iranian attack boat, raising the number of countries we risk stumbling into war with to ... uh, Christ, I don't have enough fingers source: foxnews.com \| share:	135
		Thank you for your letter about red light camera program. Please accept this $500 fine for practicing engineering without a license, with our compliments source: reason.com \| share:	294
		Having solved the Kenneth Frequency mystery, Dan Rather is back and is taking aim at Trump source: politico.com \| share:	101
		"Finishing a book is just like you took a child out in the back yard and shot it." - Truman Capote. Huh, I guess that's why literary agents always start screaming when they read my novel. THIS is your Fark Writer's Thread source: fark.com \| share:	64
		Do you know any bars at least 100 years old where you can still grab a drink today? Here are some in Pennsyltucky that will allow you to quench your thirst in style right where George Washington slept source: pennlive.com \| share:	151
		American beer is finally respected in Europe source: thedailybeast.com \| share:	112
		Happy Chernobyl Day, keep those glowing faces going source: rawstory.com \| share:	61
		High school graduation is a month or so away. What kind of advice do you have for this year's high school graduates? source: washingtonpost.com \| share:	317
		The rising scourge of highbrow mispronunciation. It's Ahs-wee-pay, not Asswipe source: theatlantic.com \| share:	263
		Here it is, your most recent major study proving that smoking pot will result in your bloody, mangled death on the highway source: wtop.com \| share:	75
		There's a new drug with 100 times the potency of heroin hitting the DC streets: elephant tranquilizer. Like, literally tranquilizer for elephants. You know, maybe we just let this one sort itself out source: washingtonpost.com \| share:	275
		Photoshop this lonely baseball player source: i.imgur.com \| share:	20
		Pope TED source: washingtonpost.com \| share:	62
		North Korea media issues a threat to "wipe out" the United States. Wall Street bankers: We tried that back in 2007 and it's harder than it looks source: economictimes.indiatimes.com \| share:	67
		What do you do when you realize you have too many dildos lying around the house? source: thesmokinggun.com \| share:	85
		School administration pulls out the stops for teacher who receives brain tumor diagnosis. No, this is Fark -- you know they fired her before her operation source: wgntv.com \| share:	138
		Move out of the way baby boomers, there's an even bigger difference between old millennials and young millennials source: nymag.com \| share:	95
		Wild boars overrun Islamic State position, kill 3 militants. That'll do pigs, that'll do source: usatoday.com \| share:	102
		Crime-fighting robot assaulted by drunk man after hard day doing security at mall source: abc7news.com \| share:	39
		If you want to give yourself the best chance of avoiding food poisoning at a restaurant, don't order raw oysters, raw sprouts, Caesar salad or hollandaise sauce made with raw eggs, sushi or ceviche source: mnn.com \| share:	89
		Maybe the world isn't ready for Facebook LIVE :( source: washingtonpost.com \| share:	107
		United's epic PR disaster couldn't possibly get any worse, could it? The dead giant rabbit says yes, yes it can source: bbc.com \| share:	71
		In a completely unexpected development NO ONE could have predicted; a new lawsuit claims that in addition to being a sexist pig, Fox News' Roger Ailes was also a racist bigot who engaged in "pervasive racial discrimination" source: hollywoodreporter.com \| share:	37
		Mulligan gets a Mulligan, arrested source: wcax.com \| share:	6
		"It's not teaching religion, but it teaches character and respect and how important it is to tell the truth," says Courtney Tolliver, while lying through her teeth source: washingtonpost.com \| share:	175
		A new social media game called the 'Blue Whale Game' involves being given a master that will control you and make you do tasks every day for 50 days. To win the game you must kill yourself. Fark: So far there are 130 winners source: metro.co.uk \| share:	97
		Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. In this case, it's a 'I caught a python in Florida' tee-shirt source: tampabay.com \| share:	18
		Ugly-ass endangered wolf pup is the first to be conceived with artificial insemination, gives hope to other endangered species that want to rip out your neck source: stltoday.com \| share:	24

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