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Tue February 28, 2017
Source     Fark Headline Comments
(Action News Jacksonville)
 
 
 
Wanna be a doc without all the annoying coursework? Fake it 'til you make it, but don't get caught purchasing fake awards (with mugshot)
source: actionnewsjax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Denver Post)
 
 
 
Bicyclist's lawsuit claims that a mechanized street sweeper chased and struck him. Michael Bay seen reaching for a pen and some paper
source: denverpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Time)
 
 
 
1. Get thrown in GitMo. 2. Sue. 3. Profit. 4. Join ISIS; get killed in a suicide bombing raid. It's the ciiiiiircle of liiiiiiiiife
source: time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Two Georgia residents sentenced to decades in prison for trying to honor their heritage
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KRTV Great Falls)
 
 
 
Try not to get any more DUIs on your way out of the parking lot
source: krtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
North Carolina congregation recalls the magic of their wedding nights, when the veil was lifted, the bride was carried across the threshold, the groom gave her the first peck on the cheek, and waited another year for permission to have intercourse
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Saudi King brings 506 tons of luggage on 9-day trip. Subby's ex-wife unimpressed
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZ Family)
 
 
 
There's nothing worse than waking up to what you think is the sound of fireworks only to discover your girlfriend has shot you multiple times in the penis and scrotum
source: azfamily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Al Jazeera)
 
 
 
Massive Chile rains kill three, cut off water for millions. Man, it's a good thing it just rains water around here
source: aljazeera.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(10 News)
 
 
 
Woman transcends death to post selfie after surviving turbulence on flight from Chicago to San Diego
source: 10news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
If anyone has the head of Jesus Christ, the Cottage Avenue Pentecostal Fellowship in Indianapolis would like it back
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Russian ballet dancer released from Guantanamo Bay prison after being held 15 years. Apparently authorities heard him mention an "Arabesque" and that was enough to consider him a terrorist
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yale University)
 
 
 
If Aliens come to Earth in the future looking for Yaqui Catfish, we're screwed
source: e360.yale.edu   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bangor Daily News)
 
 
 
"We went to the zoo and unfortunately, STDs came up again, and I knew it was over"
source: bangordailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Driver of Seattle taco truck stuck in major traffic jam figures "Hmm, why not?"
source: 1077theend.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
5. Take your truck for a bumpy ride with lots of violent turns and slamming on the brakes. 4. Close and lock the back door. 3. Wait until someone gets in to steal your stuff. 2. Load boxes of manure in a U-Haul. 1. Mount a camera inside the truck
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Mon February 27, 2017
(KETV Omaha)
 
 
 
Rescue dog rescues owner from early-morning house fire. Your dog says "good girl, give her a steak"
source: ketv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Alaska Dispatch News)
 
 
 
Remembering Buzzwinkle - Alaska's most notorious drunken moose
source: adn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
You should never take your work home with you after you retire, especially if you work with grenade launchers
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Chicago)
 
 
 
Chicago breaks another 146 year old record (since records began). No snow in the months of January or February
source: chicago.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(105.9 The Brew)
 
 
 
No eyebrows were raised after meth enthusiast takes police on wild chase through two states
source: 1059thebrew.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
"If anyone here knows a reason why these two should not be married, speak now or forever hold your peace. Not you, Mr. Whale"
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Shanghaiist)
 
 
 
This bears repeating: Do not drive your car with your window open at wildlife parks
source: shanghaiist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jezebel)
 
 
 
Bedbugs kill 96-year-old Stoner
source: jezebel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Dallas News)
 
 
 
Today's Mad Libs ready headline: 2-year-old found licking bong in running car
source: dallasnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Cops: Customer deposited bag of cocaine in bank ATM
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
What the actual hell is going on here in Australia? Is this a pointless sport, or some sort of mosquito fogging system, or both?
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Trader Joe's new "chunky shards'o'glass" apple sauce may not cut it in the market
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
In a move that will surely piss off no one, giant cross installed outside Mosul to mark progress against ISIS
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TuneIn)
 
 
 
Paul's Memory Bank is continuing "Swinging Through the Alphabet" with 2 hours of songs beginning with the letter "C". Show starts at 8PM ET
source: tunein.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Professor who has taken a photo of himself every day for the past 30 years now has 11,000 pictures. Or as Kim Kardashian calls that, a pretty good weekend
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
British man selling Swiss mountain air for $167 a bottle. Sure, you can laugh now, but just wait until you have to cancel your ski trip in Switzerland when there's no air left
source: thelocal.ch   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Lawn Lover)
 
 
 
Photoshop this turf top
source: webpages.uidaho.edu   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Daily News)
 
 
 
Re-trial of former L.A. County Sheriff on corruption charges begins even though he's in the early stages of Alzheimer's. Lawyer advises him to answer every question with "I can't recall"
source: dailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Action News Jacksonville)
 
 
 
PSA: Make sure your burglary victim isn't a Brazilian jiujitsu master (with ouch-y mugshot)
source: actionnewsjax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
Neo Nazi arrested for making his roommate great again
source: orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
Video
 
Irate airline passenger goes full Samuel L. Jackson when passengers fail to exit craft on her schedule. Bonus points for dude in foreground doing everything short of eating his own hand to stifle laughter (Not safe for work language)
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(9News (Australia))
 
 
 
52 seconds is what it took two 'bashful' pandas at the Tokyo zoo to mate after a four year hiatus. Which is probably 30 seconds longer than most human males can take after four years of no nookie
source: 9news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
Today, when you're feeling down, just remind yourself that at least you're not the person who has to hose out the rubber sex dolls at this brothel
source: thelocal.es   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTVQ Billings)
 
 
 
Former Marine fires 6 shots in a shopping mall parking lot in an attempt to stop: (A) a kidnapping (B) a murder (C) shoplifters
source: ktvq.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
WHO names 12 bacteria that pose the greatest threat to human health; is on first, playing "Boris the Spider"
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSAZ West Virginia)
 
 
 
There's nothing weird about getting some exercise by running with the high school track team, right?
source: wsaz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mental Floss)
 
 
 
Millennials aren't job hopping, mostly because they can't find jobs
source: mentalfloss.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Verge)
 
 
 
SpaceX to recreate Apollo 8
source: theverge.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
"And just what would my duties entail as sex tsar?"
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Why do people swear? What a stupid farking question
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Palm Beach Post)
 
 
 
Teacher who was asked to mentor students is now in trouble for mentoring student
source: mypalmbeachpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark NotNewsletter: Why we link to "those sites," plus new tag announcement
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Iceland Review)
 
 
 
Iceland's capital's 2 foot snowfall breaks 80 year old record. Cleveland, Buffalo, and Syracuse chuckle, point out that 2 feet of snow there is called "Any Tuesday in April"
source: icelandreview.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Wrap)
 
 
 
White woman who self-identified as black, Rachel Dolezal, near homelessness after rejecting porn offers
source: thewrap.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Spiegel)
 
 
 
Photoshop this sacred selfie
source: cdn3.spiegel.de   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
From the Institute of Researchers Who Forgot They Were Supposed to Publish Something Today: "Women with children more sleep deprived than those without"
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 13 Orlando)
 
 
 
In Florida, responsible gun ownership means keeping a spare piece on the side
source: mynews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
"'The GPS showed him in the lake,' said [the teen's mom], who figured the GPS was malfunctioning." It wasn't. With scrapbook-worthy pictures
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
Fake
 
Dffsfd
source: i0.kym-cdn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Miami Herald)
 
 
 
Private women's prison deprived inmates of heat and hot water for months, according to lawmaker. I'm fairly certain I've seen a video of this
source: miamiherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
You may think you're tough, but are you tough enough to survive the Notorious RBG's workout?
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newser)
 
 
 
You can have a 'brain orgasm,' but you've got to watch a creepy video first
source: newser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Drive)
 
 
 
Drone strike that killed Al-Qaeda #2 appears to have used a new and revolutionary weapon designed to limit collateral damage, either by striking the target with micro munitions or by dropping an anvil on his head
source: thedrive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AOL)
 
 
 
Five more Best Korean officials executed by anti-aircraft gun after 'enraging' Kim Jong Un. To be fair, if you're going to work in his government, you've got to be ready to catch a lot of flak
source: aol.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Male flight attendant charged with calling in two bomb threats faces decades in prison. With a name like Cox-Sever, he was probably destined to end up there
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
"Alright Mr...'Smith,' you're going to have to show us more than your driver's license if you want to get through this TSA checkpoint." "But, I was born in PA and have lived in Maine and SC all my life." "Nice try, Akmed. NEED A PATDOWN HERE"
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTVB Boise)
 
 
 
Dan Sevy, a Followers of Christ church member, said pharmaceuticals and medicine are a product from Satan. He went on to explain that pharmaceuticals are derived from the Greek word "pharmakeia," a word they say translates to witchcraft and sorcery
source: ktvb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Action News Jacksonville)
 
 
 
Did they take his mugshot before or after the pills were removed from his butt?
source: actionnewsjax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MassLive)
 
 
 
Last weekend's February tornado in snow-covered western Massachusetts was about as common as the Cubs winning the World Series
source: masslive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WYMT Hazard)
 
 
 
Ark Encounter not living up to economic promise. Maybe they should pray harder
source: wkyt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Seeker)
 
 
 
There are search and rescue dogs, why not search and rescue cats?
source: seeker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Attention Farkers, please retire your existing, and now outdated, "insane girlfriend face" meme pictures and upgrade them with nearly any picture from this article. That is all
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Dehydrated hippo, sexy giraffes, and digital soup. These are YOUR Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2017-02-19 to Sat 2017-02-25
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Waking nightmares The Teletubbies turn twenty
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Tourists. please don't ply the Bahamas beach pigs with junk food and alcohol - it kind of kills them
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(National Review)
 
 
 
Do you know a slacker that's living the low-stakes life? It's probably because of adolescent resentments
source: nationalreview.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(International Business Times)
 
 
 
Drone strike in Syria results in Al Qaeda having to go on Career Builder and solicit resumes for a new #2
source: ibtimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop these pandas
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Spokesman for Canadian oil refinery insists that absolutely nothing is going on at the plant and you should ignore any photos of the entire complex engulfed in towering clouds of flame to the contrary
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bangor Daily News)
 
 
 
In Maine, the decline of the blood worm is making scientists squirm
source: bangordailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Airline introduces world's first beer specifically designed to be enjoyed at high altitudes. Tastes great at 35,000 feet
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
When real life resembles a Harry Potter book: Scientists say an elixir made from dragon's blood could bring somebody back from the threshold of death
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Truck that plowed into a Mardi Gras parade in New Orleans was less terrorism and more Mardi Gras
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vice)
 
 
 
Before he was president, Abraham Lincoln was a street-fighting man: "It's not mythology. Lincoln, an awesome physical specimen at 6-feet-4, was widely known for his wrestling skills and had only one recorded defeat in a dozen years"
source: sports.vice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deadspin)
 
 
 
Dewey Defeats Truman, Oscars edition
source: screengrabber.deadspin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
New gym opens in San Francisco where not only will smoking pot during a workout be acceptable, it will be encouraged
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 

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