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Tue July 23, 2019
(Twitter)
 
 
 
"You know how occasionally you drive by a lane closure and think 'Great. NO WORK IS HAPPENING'? There is a reason for that closure. Often that reason is wet concrete"
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(History Channel)
 
 
 
On this day in history, in 1914, Austria-Hungary responds to the assassination of Archduke Ferdinand by issuing an ultimatum to Serbia and developing a plan for a short, decisive military conflict. Narrator: which didn't work out so well
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(Patch)
 
 
 
♫ Shank you for being a friend ♫
source: patch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 35 Orlando)
 
 
 
Hey, look, it's the "ball pits are a sea of germs and bacteria" article again
source: fox35orlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 7 Austin)
 
 
 
"He came in just like any clothed customer, he wasn't being obnoxious or trying to get attention in any other way other than being naked"
source: fox7austin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Things you can't do while black: wedding proposal edition
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Martha's Vineyard Times)
 
 
 
A rare northern sighting of Florida Men on Chappaquiddick involves a failed mating ritual of drinking and driving, and randomly shouting "Donald Trump" and "Mary Jo Kopechne" at other tourists
source: mvtimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Naked French people are whining that their nakedness and their naked experience is being ruined by ... naked people (NSFW due to French derrieres)
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
That last thing you want to hear while Bungee jumping is OH SNAP
source: ladbible.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Soldering)
 
 
 
Photoshop these helping "hands"
source: d1t93a3wf86y05.cloudfront.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
Orange County firefighter arrested on voyeurism charges. Emphasis on 'Orange' (mugshot)
source: orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Schadenfreude of the day: Good Christian evangelical author of purity and abstinence separates from wife
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Detroit_News)
 
 
 
"He claimed the latter move was a 'relaxation treatment' he performed on all patients"
source: detroitnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News4Jax)
 
 
 
Actual Headline: Florida man goes off on 'wet floor' sign after getting carded for beer
source: news4jax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
*Ingredients of Happy Fun Ball include an unknown glowing green substance which fell to Earth, presumably from outer space.*
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
"Switch Malfunction Just Start of Problems for MTA on Monday's Evening Commute." Especially the switch the public uses to whip the MTA when it farks up. That switch is malfunctioning badly
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KIRO-7 Seattle)
 
 
 
$115,000 anti-crime toilet installed in park. Because it may be the potty that we deserve, but not the potty we need right now
source: kiro7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Vogue: Should we not have used the anniversary of the Manson murders and Sharon Tate's murder as the inspiration for a 60s revival makeup trend? Was that wrong?
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Nature)
 
 
 
How a data detective exposed suspicious medical trials while passing gas
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(EurekAlert)
 
 
 
Canned laughter works, finds a new study of 'dad jokes'
source: eurekalert.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS 58 Milwaukee)
 
 
 
Road rage, Florida style. Difficulty: Wisconsin. Yes, Virginia, there is video goodness
source: cbs58.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bay News 9)
 
 
 
"The cast member asked the woman stop pushing the buttons, warning her the buttons could affect the ride. When the woman refused to listen, the cast member pushed the woman's hand away and was punched in the face"
source: baynews9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
DC Metro transit cop encounters out of control autistic 4-year-old on station platform and saves the day
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 40 Sacramento)
 
 
 
'Four deputies were injured and a sheriff's horse was punched when a fight broke out during a busy night at the Stanislaus County Fair.'
source: fox40.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
And I heard a voice in the midst of the four beasts and I looked, and behold a pale horse and his name that sat on him was death, and hell followed with him (not safe for work)
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Whatever - Scalzi)
 
 
 
UltraFarker John Scalzi took a Lyft 300 miles when Hertz fell through. Here's a write-up of the experience
source: whatever.scalzi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Worst performance ever of "The Nutcracker"
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark NotNewsletter: Want to know what's really hot right now?
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Scottish Sun)
 
 
 
American Airlines passenger smashes laptop over boyfriend's head after catching him eyeing up another woman on packed plane
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Cheez-It partnering with a box wine company to sell a "wine and Cheez-It" box in an effort to corner the "self-hating consumer" market
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
If you're going to visit strip club, don't leave your very young children at home. Isn't that right, Florida Man?
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Scottish Sun)
 
 
 
Woman with rare condition that makes her orgasm uncontrollably 'climaxed during Shania Twain concert'
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
Detroit gets around to DNA testing a rape kit 20 years later, and the man whose DNA matched is convicted of rape. Open and shut case right? Not quite, the victim was his HS girlfriend but they didn't recognize each other because, 20 years later
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
"Prime recreation spots could be altered by Arizona wildfire." Gee, you think?
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pix11)
 
 
 
New trend in New York City is for groups of people to throw buckets of water on NYPD cops as they arrest someone. Cops unsure if they should arrest the people or thank them for the brief cooling off in the hellhole that is NYC in the summer
source: pix11.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 5 San Diego)
 
 
 
San Diego impounds 2,500 scooters during Comic-Con weekend, charges companies $65 per scooter to get them back, stops thousands of accidents caused by Slave Leias rolling down the sidewalk
source: fox5sandiego.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Fox 8 Greensboro)
 
 
 
Santa app sends inappropriate messages to 8-year-old girl. 'The messages started out with a "hey" and "heart" before "It automatically went to Santa asking, 'what are you wearing?'"
source: myfox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
New Iggy Azalea music video has her swearing 83 times, twerking at children and wearing four different wigs. Critics outraged that she wears four different wigs
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this sunset
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Add "corn sweat" to the list of things that can kill you
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Russia testing South Korean air defenses. This business will get out of control. It will get out of control and we will be lucky to live through it
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
43-ton truck crosses bridge good for 14 tons. Guess what happens next
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Scottish Sun)
 
 
 
"Hey f*** face. You've been invited to our motherf***ing wedding"
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Good.is)
 
 
 
Tree-planting drones are firing 'seed missiles' into barren ground to combat the climate crisis. I, for one, welcome our new Ent overlords
source: good.is   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Find moar rare urfs
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Cruise ship could have "done a million things" to prevent toddler's death. Suspiciously, "preventing grandpa from holding the child in the first place" was not on the list
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Chechen boy completes 4,618 press-ups in one go to set two world records. Is now ready to challenge Apollo Creed's grandson for the title
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Rolling Stone)
 
 
 
A year inside Brooklyn's homicide squad, though it's nowhere near as good as David Simon's expose of the Baltimore homicide squad
source: rollingstone.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Canberra Times)
 
 
 
If you're driving around with $200m worth of drugs in your van, it's even more important to follow the rules of the road. Also, try to avoid crashing into parked police cars
source: canberratimes.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
Attorney pleads guilty to parachuting off of courthouse, sentenced to 100 hours of shoveling dog crap. Or, as your ex-wife's attorney calls it, an unproductive week of billing
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
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