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Fri January 19, 2018
Source     Fark Headline Comments
(Kent Online)
 
 
 
Not really news: Car crashes into road sign and drives off without stopping. Fark: During the opening ceremony of the road's redevelopment
source: kentonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WikiHow)
 
 
 
Today's national popcorn day. Here's how to end national popcorn-between-the-teeth day
source: wikihow.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
If you want your child to earn a lot of money, name them this
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this man admiring his Vermeer
source: i.ytimg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
Geez, they'll fire you for any little infraction these days
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pravda Report)
 
 
 
Russia to dismantle its most powerful submarines. Would make for an interesting group buy
source: pravdareport.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Ocean's 14: Macau
source: money.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Consumer reports conducts a taste-test of store bought frozen pizza and concludes that, for the tenth year running, the winner is: The boxes they all came in
source: abc7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Speeding with 245 bags of heroin and a lot of cash makes it easy to bust you, Mr. clean-cut all-American drug runner
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Ahram Online)
 
 
 
Turkey, a NATO ally, starts bombing U.S. backed Kurds in Syria. This will surely end well
source: english.ahram.org.eg   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
I'm not sure that AP guidelines cover having ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ in an actual headline, CNN, much less in coverage of a government shutdown
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KJZZ Tempe)
 
 
 
N.S. Sherlock Institute shows that cuts in school funding has led to the Tide Pod-eating generation
source: kjzz.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC New York)
 
Video
 
Cops falls off horse, says 'Oh, sh*t,' looks up to see the Pope helping him back to his feet. Oh, sh*t
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
SHAKING NEWS 6.3-magnitude earthquake strikes in Gulf of California. Scary tag trumps California tag
source: abc7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WPRI Rhode Island)
 
 
 
Thieves in Rhode Island stole an $80,000 camera used to catch speeding drivers. Which is too bad because it would have paid for itself on the first day
source: wpri.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCPO Cincinnati)
 
 
 
After an 84% spike in 'issues', flying with comfort turkeys, gliding possums, snakes, spiders and other animals will require a bit more documentation than "I needs him"
source: wcpo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KING 5 News)
 
 
 
Deer carcasses used to lure, shoot eagles in Klickitat County. You'd think an eagle would be smart enough to avoid Klickitat bait
source: king5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cancer.org)
 
 
 
Sad update to Otto's Jacket's thread from November 17, 2017 when he had just been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. He passed away a week later
source: cancer.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WGNTV Chicago)
 
 
 
Angry Brits mistake Chicago news anchor for racist British member of Parliament: "What I've learned is that Brits are far more creative and colorful with their insults. And no, that's not a challenge"
source: wgntv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
Principal: Kids, don't be bullies. Also Principal: LOL let's make fun of this short teacher, everyone
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(FOX6Now)
 
 
 
Milwaukee hotels don't want local bratty kids in their buildings. However, kids from elsewhere are welcome
source: fox6now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(International Business Times)
 
 
 
The Arctic is the fastest-warming place on Earth
source: ibtimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WYMT Hazard)
 
 
 
"Hi there, I'll be your spastic excursion ... *hic* ... elastic surgeon ... *hic* ... plastic sturgeon ... *hic* ... face cutter today"
source: wkyt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this fashionable snek
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZ Family)
 
 
 
That's not a baguette
source: azfamily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TreeHugger)
 
 
 
UK appoints Minister of Loneliness, which raises the question: what's their Fark handle?
source: treehugger.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Yellowstone is two million acres of natural resources gone to waste and other views from the oppressed ranchers of Oregon
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSTU FOX 13)
 
 
 
"A movement to end controversial one-on-one interviews between LDS bishops and children is growing in Utah"
source: fox13now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
'Day Zero' is the date when the Cape Town, South Africa reservoirs run dry and it officially runs out of water. As of today, Day Zero is expected to occur on April 22nd
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Age (Melbourne))
 
 
 
Swedish government sends its citizens a public information manual on preparations for war with Russia, cyber attacks, global warming, da chickey chickey
source: theage.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KOIN Portland)
 
 
 
FBI arrest man for trying to extort $1 million from a "squeaky clean" entertainer by falsely claiming a sexual assault during a nude massage. A tale straight from a film noir to the left, speculation as to the last clean celebrity to the right
source: koin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(FOX6Now)
 
 
 
How much do you love sushi? (Read article) Okay, NOW how much do you love sushi?
source: fox6now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TreeHugger)
 
 
 
You know your children are not a delicate morons. So why does their school insist on treating them like one when it comes to playground rules?
source: treehugger.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Desert Sun)
 
 
 
And you thought the Millennials were the worst part of Coachella
source: desertsun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Teenager almost killed by ham and cheese. Fortunately it was cured
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jalopnik)
 
 
 
Captain Jack Sparrow volunteers to inspect cargo ship
source: jalopnik.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZCentral)
 
 
 
Ambulances are in such high demand and low supply in Phoenix that 9-1-1 operators are calling on taxis to take people to hospitals
source: azcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Alabama student "feels horrible" about being expelled over her racist social media rants. Stay classy, Alabama
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Thu January 18, 2018
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
Florida Man arrested for DUI after mistaking bank drive-thru for Taco Bell. No word if he tried to order with a two dollar bill
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Eat Sip Trip)
 
 
 
Get crossfaded responsibly
source: eatsiptrip.10best.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
[business cat looks up from newspaper:] "We should have another mortgage crisis"
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS 21 Harrisburg)
 
 
 
Man allegedly punches himself in the face to avoid breathalyzer
source: local21news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KRQE News)
 
 
 
5th grader passes out incredible edibles to classmates that were just too incredible. "I felt like the room was going to flip to the side"
source: krqe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
The first article you'll read today on the "glandular method of governance"
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Study reveals that L.A. needs more Hollywood sign
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this magical place
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Zero Hedge)
 
 
 
Pentagon confirms the existence of a Russian underwater drone that carries a 100-megaton nuclear weapon to wipe out enemy coastlines and leave them uninhabitable for generations
source: zerohedge.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZ Family)
 
 
 
Mom who homeschools her daughter doesn't get why she can't ride public school buses around town. "Let's not punish each other because we've decided to educate our children in different ways"
source: azfamily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Los Angeles 2)
 
 
 
In June of 2016, BMW announced it won a contract to supply the Los Angeles Police Department with 100 electric cars - a multi-million-dollar program the chief said "made sense for taxpayers and for the environment." Well, guess what?
source: losangeles.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PetsLady)
 
 
 
♪♫ Robbery Raccoon, in search of a Zune, broke into a Knoxville iPhone store ♫♪
source: petslady.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TMZ)
 
 
 
Sorry, but your flight has already left, Buzz. If that is your real name
source: tmz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
Old and busted: Living in a shipping container. New affordable housing: Living in a giant concrete water pipe
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Nothing to see here citizen. Ignore the NYPD raiding the offices of Newsweek
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
♫ Who's blowing through the streets of the city / Knocking down everybody she sees / Who's rippin' off the roofs of the buildings / Everyone knows it's Windy ♫
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop Tennis Match: A day at the beach
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Time)
 
 
 
Florida has a new high-speed rail line called Brightline that just started service. So far, four people have been struck and killed by the train. Death Row Rails?
source: time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stoke Sentinel)
 
 
 
The B'oatcake is back floating and chugging along North Staffordshire's waterways after donations paid for it to be repaired
source: stokesentinel.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stoke Sentinel)
 
 
 
The Nanny State considers cutting back on 24-hour drinking at airports so there would be no more refreshing pints available at 4 in the morning
source: stokesentinel.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Here's your annual "The majority of Americans are good and truly farked in the event of a minor financial emergency" article. Sleep tight
source: money.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bay News 9)
 
 
 
Dozens audition for role of lifetime as Weeki Wachee mermaids. "It's just a dream come true if I get it"
source: baynews9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Krispy Kreme is asking fans to choose new doughnut flavor. OK FARK. You know what to do. Article on the left, your sick, disgusting, snotty comments on the right
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(13 ABC Toledo)
 
 
 
Giant Meteor continues its election campaign in the Midwest with a second fireball in the sky last night. Bruce Willis reportedly seen headed to Cape Canaveral
source: 13abc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
I have no idea what you're talking about so here's a deer that has a chicken feeder stuck around its neck
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(International Business Times)
 
 
 
Traffic wardens overlooked $19,000 of parking tickets for two years of free pizza. So, pro-tip?
source: ibtimes.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
We can confirm the missile attack alert was a false alarm. You may now fap in complete safety
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Verge)
 
 
 
After minutes of searching, drone locates two people in the middle of nowhere and unleashes an unholy barrage of flotation device to save their lives
source: theverge.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Omaha World Herald)
 
 
 
Marijuana is not a substitute for money when buying pizza. Who knew?
source: omaha.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
"Honey, lets get married today." "But we're on a plane. How can we possibly make that happen?" Pope Francis: "Ahem"
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boing Boing)
 
 
 
Finally, a chest of drawers big enough for Farkers to keep their ratty old underwear in. And it's for sale
source: boingboing.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toronto Sun)
 
 
 
Toronto Board of Health to hold public hearings on the dangers of nuclear weapons and radiation fallout. How's it glowing, eh?
source: torontosun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Talk Radio (UK))
 
 
 
A wolf is on the loose near London after escaping its sanctuary. Sources cited by Fark say it sneakily wore a sheepskin jacket to trick the people on the gate
source: talkradio.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 31 Denver)
 
 
 
New VA hospital in Colorado will serve fewer patients, have fewer beds and no PTSD treatment center, despite being twice the square footage of the old one. Fail tag passed away in the waiting room, so Asinine tag fills in
source: kdvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTLA Los Angeles)
 
 
 
200,000 honey bees killed when 100 hives doused with diesel fuel. Talk about a buzzkill
source: ktla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
750kg of cocaine found hidden in pineapples. Police describe the suspect as wide-eyed and square pantsed
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wicked Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this holy orb
source: i.pinimg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Lions and tigers and mares, oh my (warning: disturbing images)
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Not all millionaires are bad, some are also deranged for hiring strippers for their son's 12th birthday party
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Today in obvious news: Most dog owners would rather hang out with their pet because they are less stressful than stupid people
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Russian urban climber found dead and turned unto failcicle on side of building (possible nsfw content on page)
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WEAU Eau Claire)
 
 
 
A man shoots at cops with a BB gun, cops don't shoot back. Can you guess why?
source: weau.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(I Heart Radio 1190 KEX)
 
 
 
IRS warns of W-2 form scams that are worse scams than the W-2 forms
source: 1190kex.iheart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Trump's announcement of the winners of Fake News Awards goes as smoothly as everything else his administration does
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chron)
 
 
 
Almost there, almost there, almost there... oh shiat
source: chron.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New Haven Independent)
 
 
 
But detectives had him in handcuffs within hours after discovering the note he left at the bank was written on the back of his girlfriend's pay stub
source: valley.newhavenindependent.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Cannabist)
 
 
 
Study points to way to improve home prices. Is it A) Better schools B) Better infrastructure or C) Marijuana dispensaries
source: thecannabist.co   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
The terror group responsible for the most extremist murders in 2017? White supremacists
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(FOX6Now)
 
 
 
A president, such as President Trump, who cannot take criticism, "who must constantly deflect and distort and distract - who must find someone else to blame - is charting a very dangerous path"
source: fox6now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Gay couple orders programs for their wedding. Receives pamphlets on Satan instead. I guess that's a type of progress
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
The sexual superbug you've never heard of, and since you're on Fark, will never have a chance to catch either
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(FOX6Now)
 
 
 
Where would be the best place to hide 52 Bison?
source: fox6now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 663: "Pink 2". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
source: farktography.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 

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