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Tue January 23, 2018
Source     Fark Headline Comments
(Austin Statesman)
 
 
 
Man choking on hamburger saved by first responders having lunch, then goes back for more
source: statesman.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WQAD Quad Cities)
 
 
 
When coming home drunk to find an intruder, do everyone involved a favor and check the address again before you strangle him to death
source: wqad.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZ Family)
 
 
 
I just stumbled across this dead body so I thought, "Why not just take the head?"
source: azfamily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
12 beauty pageant contestants disqualified for using Botox. Difficulty: Camels
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Los Angeles 2)
 
 
 
Well, that is one way to get the kids moving during PE. O_o
source: losangeles.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
It is with a very heavy heart that I have to inform you all that my dear, sweet friend and fellow farker, Forsythe P. Jones (Richard Sousa on Facebook) passed away a few days ago
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(680 News Radio)
 
 
 
Much like your Justin Trudeau fantasies, Canadian weather is "getting hotter, wetter and weirder"
source: 680news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Action News Jacksonville)
 
 
 
You don't say: Parents outraged when elementary school dance plays "My biatch love cocaine" by Lil Pump
source: actionnewsjax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Procter & Gamble, the company that manufacturers Tide pods, puts out a statement that it's not their fault teens are farking idiots for eating their product
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Fur and fury at 40,000 feet as more and more people bring emotional support animals onto planes, including this duck
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Woman takes Casper the cat to the vet, later 'finds it for sale on Facebook for £50' (possible nsfw content on page)
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WPSD Local 6 Paducah)
 
NewsFlash
 
Reset The Clock: Kentucky HS edition
source: wpsdlocal6.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSTU FOX 13)
 
 
 
Trespassing deer takes 'polar plunge,' gets stuck in a bad photoshop re-creation
source: fox13now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Following a calamitous/hilarious interview on British TV, depending on your viewpoint, The Atlantic asks why no one can hear what the other side is saying in debates anymore
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCAX Vermont)
 
 
 
Submerged car pulled from lake. Will be reunited with U-Boat commander from CT who will probably not rely so heavily on GPS in the future
source: wcax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wicked Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this person missing from the hood
source: kb4images.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WQAD Quad Cities)
 
 
 
Budweiser ousted from list of 3 'favorite' 'beers' in the U.S
source: wqad.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(STLToday)
 
 
 
Lloose llama llands lloving llandowner
source: stltoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
King's Cross station evacuated due to unknown threat. No word if it's coming from Platform 9 3/4 (possible nsfw content on page)
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KOIN Portland)
 
 
 
Inmates give back by sewing baby outfits for premie babies. However the tiny shivs were confiscated during inspection
source: koin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
We already know she's an idiot. Just let it go
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
"There will be a showdown with Satan on Tuesday in the Missouri Supreme Court"
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
NewsFlash
 
A magnitude 8.0 earthquake has hit in the Gulf of Alaska. Tsunami warning has been issued for coastal areas from the British Columbia/Washington border to Attu, Alaska
source: edition.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Netfux made its debut 20 years ago
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Idaho Statesman)
 
 
 
Idaho man began collecting beer cans about 1974. Today, he owns about 11,000. Sorry, ladies, he's taken
source: idahostatesman.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Japanese ski run rating system: Beginner, Intermediate, Advanced, Expert, Lava
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
So you're driving in Leonia, NJ, on public roads, and you're not a Leonia resident.....you better believe that's a finin'
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Mon January 22, 2018
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Drunk fire chief needs more training in continence, opening car doors, not falling on head
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Local 12 Cincinnati)
 
 
 
Police searching for Mann, and with those face tattoos they should find him pretty soon
source: local12.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
High school student shoots at a friend. The victim, a 15-year-old girl, was airlifted to a hospital with gunshot wounds. No word yet on who shot the hospital
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AL.com)
 
 
 
The strange case of the Florida expat who became an Alabama stay-at-home mom running a subscription-only adult website. (w/SFW pics)
source: al.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Pope embraces fallibility
source: beta.latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Cops unhappy that union is offering fewer "Get Out Of Jail Free" cards to friends and family. In other news, those are really a thing and you can "buy" them by "donating" to the police union
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark NotNewsletter: Attack of the pod people
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bay News 9)
 
 
 
Brooksville celebrates Confederate victory over Union in largest Civil War reenactment in state, complete with white supremacists, whippings, used slave sales. "This is part of our history"
source: baynews9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
I know who you did last summer - now give me Bitcoin
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
And the first state to implement net neutrality is....Montana?
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
Service dog goes to Disney World and meets Pluto. Later plans to go to the dog park to meet Uranus
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Breeze)
 
 
 
Photoshop this surfer wiping out
source: dailybreeze.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
What's worse than the flu this year? FLESH-EATING FLU
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Dog 'accidentally' shoots his master while out hunting. At least that's what the dog's attorney is claiming
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TuneIn)
 
Audio
 
I'm a bit under the weather tonight, so at 8PM ET instead of DJing, I'm setting the Indie Media Weekly server to randomly play 2 hours of my music & comedy stuff. Next week will be Rhythm & Blues / Soul night
source: tunein.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Alaska Dispatch News)
 
 
 
Baggage handlers take a break from smashing guitars to steal 300 school computers
source: adn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Fark-ready headline: Florida Man, 23, Arrested For Fried Chicken Attack On His Girlfriend
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
One of the last Dead Sea Scrolls fragments has been translated. Reports indicate it's the final section of a larger passage, consisting of "And then the murders began"
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TreeHugger)
 
 
 
Who wants the Dodge Demon to be banned because it has too much horsepower? A) Bicyclists, B) Mothers, or C) The editors at Automotive News?
source: treehugger.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New Hampshire Public Radio)
 
 
 
Aaaaand, he signed it
source: nhpr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Florida mall pipe bombs downgraded to flares
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wicked Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this leaner
source: hdwallsource.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lehigh Valley Live)
 
 
 
Fark can finally get behind the Tide pod challenge. Yes, there is booze involved
source: lehighvalleylive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KING 5 News)
 
 
 
Rare "Super Blue Blood Moon" coming on January 31, for the first time in 150 years. Finally, a chance for all the aristocratic lycanthropes to let their hair down
source: king5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 San Francisco)
 
 
 
Elon, you drive, I've been drinking
source: abc7news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Senate overwhelmingly votes to reopen the government as Democrats take McConnell at his word that they will fix DACA
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KJZZ Tempe)
 
 
 
The FAA has a fix for reducing noise from planes flying over some neighborhoods: have planes fly over other neighborhoods
source: kjzz.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Portland Press Herald)
 
 
 
Alabamans hold candlelit vigil after Taco Bell burns down: "Waffle House is open, but if you really want to get full, you've got to have 10 dollars. Sometimes you don't have that"
source: pressherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Grand Island Independent)
 
 
 
Doughnut-eating champ charged with stealing from Dunkin'
source: theindependent.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSTU FOX 13)
 
 
 
Article no longer available
source: fox13now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2018-01-14 to Sat 2018-01-20
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Unexpected windfall has me pondering the purchase of a 72lb wheel of Parmigiano Reggiano cheese. I want to hear the pros and cons before making my purchase and you guys look like you know your way around a massive cheese wheel
source: costco.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Who should you call if you encounter an extraterrestrial? Not sure, but definitely NOT the NYPD
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Not News: Worst Koreans burn pic of Best Korea's leader. News: As leader of Best Korean girl band visits. FARK: Best Korea has a girl band. ULTRA-FARK: The name of the girl band. GET A BRAIN...DUUUUDE
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Villagers mistake frozen aeroplane poo for asteroid, take pieces home to keep, regret speaking to local media
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSTU FOX 13)
 
 
 
Train uses pickup truck as snowplow
source: fox13now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 5 San Diego)
 
 
 
Man who pretended to be anesthesiologist at California hospital is really a 27-year-old Iraqi national with a Swedish passport who entered the U.S. on a visa that expired last month. Or Stephen Miller's erotic fanfic?
source: fox5sandiego.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Cannabist)
 
 
 
How do you keep a Vermont stoner in suspense?
source: thecannabist.co   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Photoshop this Levitating Lady
source: static01.nyt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 8 Cleveland)
 
 
 
Man walks into convenience store with gunshot wound to the head, barely makes the news since it's in Cleveland
source: fox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WDRB Louisville)
 
 
 
Convicted felon guy has the bad luck of having a person or persons break in his house and leave a gun, lots of money and 10 lbs of weed hidden above the ceiling tiles just minutes before the sheriff showed up with a warrant. Doh
source: wdrb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KHOU Houston)
 
 
 
Bats of Walmart
source: khou.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox9 Minneapolis)
 
 
 
Police had a sign there was a drunk driver
source: fox9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Donald Trump will no doubt be pleased to hear his name is the world's most popular safeword, narrowly winning over "red" and, of course, "FLÜGGÅƎNKƋEČHIŒBØLSȆN"
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
No real person would be good enough to date one of Obama's daughters. So Malia found a loophole. She is now dating Harry Potter
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC Action News)
 
 
 
♫ We like the malls, the malls that go boom. ♫
source: abcactionnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Komo)
 
 
 
Local TV news crew inadvertently runs into local TV news story
source: komonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Something Fark has known for quite some time, squirrels are clearly the best rodents around. Big nads and all
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 

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