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Sat February 06, 2016
Source     Fark Headline Comments
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Sarlacc pit discovered in Arizona
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(9)
 
(KOAT Albuquerque)
 
 
 
Albuquerque police looking for female "Zapp Brannigan" who might have a lead in a shooting investigation. A sexy lead
source: koat.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(17)
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
So let's celebrate the Chinese new year, which is the year of the...WTF is that?
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(60)
 
(Orange County Register)
 
 
 
Marijuana shops are outlawed but a church is perfectly legal... to sell weed
source: ocregister.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(16)
 
(GMX)
 
 
 
Photoshop this drainage
source: i2.gmx.at   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(22)
 
(Belfast Telegraph)
 
 
 
Three held in Egypt over pyramid scheme
source: belfasttelegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(16)
 
(WFSB Connecticut)
 
 
 
Police arrest local weather forecaster for being wrong about an early spring. Jim Cantore seen whistling as he casually leaves town
source: wfsb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(18)
 
(Local10 WPLG)
 
 
 
Your hooker in 30 minutes or it's free
source: local10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(64)
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Podunk, USA, pre-Walmart: No, Walmart, stay away we don't want you to kill our town. Podunk, USA, post-Walmart: Walmart, Walmart please come back. We love you, Walmart, we're dying without you
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(82)
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Bad: ISIS supporter in Dearborn planned to attack a church. Good: He was turned in by his own father who discovered his stash of weapons and intent
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(46)
 
(TaxProf)
 
 
 
Walmart sues Puerto Rico over 91.5% tax rate applicable only to Walmart. Puerto Rico says you're lucky we didn't take the other 8.5%
source: taxprof.typepad.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(132)
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
If you're going to commit a home invasion, maybe you should wear a mask so the victim can't recognize you from his high school yearbook
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(14)
 
(PetaPixel)
 
 
 
In order to prevent bad things, the FAA has ordered a no drone zone around the Super Bowl. Fark: Of 32 miles
source: petapixel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(42)
 
(Komo)
 
 
 
Now EVERYBODY is claiming their body naturally produces alcohol
source: komonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(35)
 
(Calgary Herald)
 
 
 
Charles Darwin: "Hey kids, why not try taking your toboggan down an Olympic bobsled track? It'll be fun"
source: calgaryherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(97)
 
(Patch)
 
 
 
Art Gallery suing next-door School of Rock because of the noise those kids make with their gahl-durned electrified ... air conditioner?
source: patch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(18)
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Here is one thing that is finally kicked off her bucket list, as this 82-year-old woman found her 96-year-old birth mother after looking for decades
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(38)
 
(Quartz)
 
 
 
In their ongoing fascination with tiny things in Japan comes a tiny bookstore that is only large enough to stock one title at a time
source: qz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(26)
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Chicago goes crazy for paczkis in February, because Polish donuts go so well with soupy pizza
source: uk.reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(57)
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Russian lawyer brands unlikely friendship of goat and tiger as ....*shakes magic 8 ball*.... gay propaganda
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(36)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Sorry I can't join you on that marathon, I'm allergic to running
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(32)
 
(Zenfs images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this dirty victory
source: media.zenfs.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(21)
 
(Japan Times)
 
 
 
North Korea is going to launch a rocket today and Japan is probably going to shoot it down. I'll be in my bunker
source: japantimes.co.jp   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(67)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
A beloved cat who has spent almost five years patrolling a West Yorkshire railway station has been given a promotion and a uniform for her dedication to her job of rodent control. Just in time for Caturday
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(453)
 
(Japan Today)
 
 
 
Restless for another cute critter to idolize, Japan nominates the frog as this year's candidate for cute overload. "Signs are in evidence that more young women will be flocking to frogs-both real and of the ersatz variety"
source: japantoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(37)
 
(ProPublica)
 
 
 
Old and busted: You don't have to be charged with a crime for us to seize your money and your house. New hotness: Not so fast, renters. We can't steal your landlord's apartment, but we can have you evicted just for spite
source: propublica.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(144)
 
(Bangor Daily News)
 
 
 
For a year a small town in Maine has had no taxes, no elections, and very little government. But it's not the Tea Party nirvana some expected. "No matter where you go, people ask if you've heard when they're going to have town meeting"
source: bangordailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(65)
 
(Arkansas Online)
 
 
 
Woman asleep in bed with her husband killed by morning wood
source: arkansasonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(28)
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
We told you that you didn't want to know how the sausage was made
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(46)
 
(China Daily)
 
 
 
Things you should not do this Monday for Chinese New Year or risk full year of bad luck: eat tofu, eat leftover rice, chop food, sweep floor, wash clothes, take out garbage, greet someone who's still in bed, scold children, curse. You're welcome
source: usa.chinadaily.com.cn   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(51)
 


Fri February 05, 2016
(Fark)
 
 
 
Not that anybody's thinking about anything but the game this Sunday, but for those of you not into sportsball, we have a fresh Fark Weird News Quiz for you. Still warm from the oven
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(44)
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Asbestos removal requires specially-trained personnel wearing hazardous material suits working under carefully controlled conditions ... unless it's Orlando, then just call some firemen
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(50)
 
(STLToday)
 
 
 
We get all kinds of thieves in here. From the fella who stole a snake and lost it at Lowe's to a guy who stuffed an alligator in his shorts pocket
source: stltoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(10)
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
CDC says to use a condom to avoid Zika but how are you supposed to get it on the mosquito?
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(53)
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
I submitted this with a batter headline
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(33)
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
Everyone who believes the government released all of the documents on the Kennedy assassination step forward ... not so fast
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(90)
 
(Digital Trends)
 
 
 
Finally, a bracelet that feeds caffeine directly into the bloodstream. Shut up and take my money
source: digitaltrends.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(39)
 
(Mashable)
 
 
 
Soon there will be a Bigger Ben
source: mashable.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(52)
 
(Russia Today)
 
 
 
6.4 magnitude quake hits Taiwan. Details are a bit shaky but there has been at least one large building collapse
source: rt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(70)
 
(Yahoo Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this angel
source: l.yimg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(32)
 
(Fox5 DC)
 
 
 
In their defense - the guy high on PCP probably didn't know he had been shot either
source: fox5dc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(20)
 
(NBC Chicago)
 
 
 
No, no one thinks the stuff in McDonald's new cheese sticks is actually cheese. No, no one is stupid enough to file a federal lawsuit over it. Well, almost no one
source: nbcchicago.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(123)
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Funny, you don't look like a cat
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(31)
 
(Ars Technica)
 
 
 
Want to call Comcast and complain? They have just added the Fourth Circle of Hell to the experience
source: arstechnica.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(57)
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Man crashes drone into the Empire State Building. 2/4. Never forget
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(40)
 
(WebMD)
 
 
 
He gets a doughnut, she gets a doughnut, everybody gets a doughnut
source: webmd.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(20)
 
(ABA Journal)
 
 
 
Maine's highest court rules that a prosecutor pretending to be asleep during the defense's closing arguments may have been some seriously childish bullsh*t, but it 's not enough to overturn a murder conviction
source: abajournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(15)
 
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
At least they fixed the lost luggage problem
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(7)
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Drug dealer taunts police on Facebook with boast of "You will never find me." The predictable happens
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(17)
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
A man is trying to commit suicide? Well, we can't have THAT, so PEW PEW PEW
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(155)
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
Prosecutor decries the crocodile tears of a middle school murderer, hopes a Florida jury knows what crocodile tears are
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(6)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Looks like edgy pro-rape crusader is indeed a king... of his mom's basement
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(143)
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Cashier with five-iron tees off on robber with knife
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(20)
 
(Myrtle Beach Online)
 
 
 
In today's episode of "Things for Parents to Freak Out About," the hair tourniquet
source: myrtlebeachonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(59)
 
(Gannett Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this trophy oyster
source: gannett-cdn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(19)
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
8-year-old robs grocery at gun point. Mom's comment: "When I grabbed my purse, it was so light... I said, where is my gun?"
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(166)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Giant marauding vagina attacks small Spanish town (Not safe for work pics)
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(115)
 
(freakoutnation)
 
 
 
Cliven pulls off the TripleBundy, with three sons now in jail
source: freakoutnation.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(158)
 
(Shanghaiist)
 
 
 
This is not helicopter parenting, this is totally gung ho: World's most demanding dad beats his regiment of children into submission by training them semi-naked in the snow
source: shanghaiist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(34)
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
As part of ongoing efforts to heal The Great Schism of 1054, a Roman Catholic Pope is meeting with a Patriarch of the Russian Orthodox Church for the first time in history. So, naturally, they chose.. Havana?..as the place to meet
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(59)
 
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
Tensions rise as Mount Dora searches for a new city manager, but so far only a purple monkey, felonious fox, and a talking backpack have expressed interest
source: orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(32)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Why won't the CIA reveal what's in its art collection?
source: us.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(46)
 
(Gizmag)
 
 
 
Germany's Wendelstein 7-X fusion reactor produces first flash of hydrogen plasma. Scientists say they'd have had it 18 months ago if not for pesky time travelers constantly interrupting them
source: gizmag.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(82)
 
(24/7 Wall Street)
 
 
 
Ever wonder which companies profit the most from war? Here's your list
source: 247wallst.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(100)
 
(KOB4)
 
 
 
One of the few times when "a howitzer" is the appropriate answer in civilian life
source: kob.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(72)
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Y'all Qaeda may need to pay $3.4 million for damage they did. Great Dildo Sale of '16 commences
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(593)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Woman claims elusive "goat rapist' is attacking her stock and everyone thinks she's nuts: "I have had the police out here a few times. I don't think they are taking me seriously"
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(65)
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Sad: Going to a funeral. Weird: Your own funeral. Amusing: To confront your husband who hired hit men to kill you
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(88)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
After finding out that sex lube costs as much as 28 times as much as a barrel of oil, President 0bama proposes evening the score
source: money.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(217)
 
(Cheddar Valley Gazette)
 
 
 
'I'm being beaten up by ghosts' - Cops reveal weirdest paranormal emergency calls most of which will make you go...'Why?'
source: cheddarvalleygazette.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(22)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Police warn of theft ring targeting classic cars, such as 1980s Ford Escorts: "It's all about the resale value. Enthusiasts and collectors will pay thousands, sometimes tens of thousands of pounds for a desirable Cortina or Escort"
source: ryeandbattleobserver.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(170)
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Several drivers in Manhattan who were happy they scored a free street spot this morning next to a crane are going to have a really bad evening commute
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(85)
 
(Press & Sun Bulletin)
 
 
 
Casinos worried that millennials aren't getting into traditional gambling like their parents and grandparents, so they're bringing in tattoo studios, mixed martial arts competitions and other offbeat attractions to attract a younger clientele
source: pressconnects.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(147)
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Here's how to offer a cash reward, because you've probably been doing it wrong your whole life
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(32)
 
(Weird Asia News)
 
 
 
Hey boss, can I get the hot cocoa sampler box instead?
source: weirdasianews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(53)
 
(Mashable)
 
 
 
Ahh, the life of a politician. One day you're negotiating international trade agreements, the next day you're getting slapped in the face with a pink dildo
source: mashable.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(75)
 
(Belfast Telegraph)
 
 
 
Zimbabwe is a disaster. Again
source: belfasttelegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(77)
 
(Some Acoustic Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this lady listening to a glacier
source: spirs.lib.montana.edu   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(21)
 
(Denver Post)
 
 
 
Kneel before Xi
source: denverpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(50)
 
(AZCentral)
 
 
 
High school referee says Native American players on a girls basketball team cannot wear traditional Navajo buns in their hair. Players go on the warpath
source: azcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(234)
 
(CBS Chicago)
 
 
 
If only there were some way to identify the criminal mastermind who sat down inside a photo booth and broke into the cash drawer
source: chicago.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(19)
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Ugly-ass 8-month-old sea lion wanders into a fancy restaurant, curls up in a booth, and goes to sleep
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(30)
 
(WATE Knoxville)
 
 
 
Mental note: Never -- and I mean NEVER -- pick a fight with a guy who has "PSYCHO" tattooed across his forehead
source: wate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(92)
 
(TreeHugger)
 
 
 
You don't go into fast food shops and yell at kids for eating fast food. You don't go into bars and yell at drunks for drinking too much. You don't go into homes and yell at people to get off the sofa. Yet you yell at cyclists for not wearing helmets
source: treehugger.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(283)
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
A little song, a little dance, a little teeth-rotting, carbon acidic seltzer down your pants
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(20)
 
(Digital Trends)
 
 
 
Scientists have sequenced the genome of bedbugs in order to find ways to eradicate them
source: digitaltrends.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(64)
 
(Asahi Shimbun)
 
 
 
Taxi drivers in the Fukushima region report picking up ghosts of people who died from the tsunami
source: ajw.asahi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(124)
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Study: winners are unethical people because winning makes people unethical
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(89)
 

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