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Wed April 26, 2017
Source     Fark Headline Comments
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
There's a new drug with 100 times the potency of heroin hitting the DC streets: elephant tranquilizer. Like, literally tranquilizer for elephants. You know, maybe we just let this one sort itself out
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this lonely baseball player
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Pope TED
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Times of India)
 
 
 
North Korea media issues a threat to "wipe out" the United States. Wall Street bankers: We tried that back in 2007 and it's harder than it looks
source: economictimes.indiatimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
What do you do when you realize you have too many dildos lying around the house?
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WGNTV Chicago)
 
 
 
School administration pulls out the stops for teacher who receives brain tumor diagnosis. No, this is FARK...you know they fired her before her operation
source: wgntv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Magazine)
 
 
 
Move out of the way baby boomers, there's even a bigger difference between old millennials and young millennials
source: nymag.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Wild boars overrun Islamic State position, kill 3 militants. That'll do pigs, that'll do
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 San Francisco)
 
 
 
Crime-fighting robot assaulted by drunk man after hard day doing security at mall
source: abc7news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
If you want to give yourself the best chance of avoiding food poisoning at a restaurant, don't order raw oysters, raw sprouts, Caesar salad or hollandaise sauce made with raw eggs, sushi or ceviche
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Maybe the world isn't ready for Facebook LIVE :(
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
United's epic PR disaster couldn't possibly get any worse, could it? The dead giant rabbit says yes, yes it can
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hollywood Reporter)
 
 
 
In a completely unexpected development NO ONE could have predicted; a new lawsuit claims that in addition to being a sexist pig, Fox News' Roger Ailes was also a racist bigot who engaged in "pervasive racial discrimination"
source: hollywoodreporter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCAX Vermont)
 
 
 
Mulligan gets a Mulligan, arrested
source: wcax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
"It's not teaching religion, but it teaches character and respect and how important it is to tell the truth," says Courtney Tolliver, while lying through her teeth
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
A new social media game called the 'Blue Whale Game' involves being given a master that will control you and make you do tasks every day for 50 days. To win the game you must kill yourself. Fark: So far there are 130 winners
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. In this case, it's a 'I caught a python in Florida' tee-shirt
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(STLToday)
 
 
 
Ugly-ass endangered wolf pup is the first to be conceived with artificial insemination, gives hope to other endangered species that want to rip out your neck
source: stltoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Tue April 25, 2017
(Action News Jacksonville)
 
 
 
Not news: That wasn't me who made the bomb threats -- someone must have stolen my WiFi | Fark: Truth
source: actionnewsjax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Rejoice coffee lovers and get wired, new research shows why it's okay to drink more coffee
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Dumb guy tries to french kiss alligator but tapes its mouth shut which kind of defeats the purpose, if you know what I mean
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
There's a time and place to snort cocaine. For Florida Man, that time and place is 'in front of the cops while a wildfire rages'
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
"Hey, honey, what say we take the boat out for a drag?"
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
"It ended up taking...six weeks of island hopping and questioning strangers in the street before he found his first intersexual pig." Which wasn't a big deal, until it led to the discovery of dogs with dexterity between that of a cat and a monkey
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Centre Daily Times)
 
 
 
Here I sit in silent bliss... ZOMG, GTFO
source: centredaily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Patch)
 
 
 
Woman shuts down busy airport parking lot because husband wouldn't answer her calls. Turns out, he was on a flight out of the country
source: patch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Week)
 
 
 
Nordstrom is selling jeans covered in fake dirt for $425
source: theweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
In Russia, public transportation rides your ass
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lowering the Bar)
 
 
 
"'Enraged by Xylophone' would be a pretty good band name"
source: loweringthebar.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(National Geographic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this big forest ball
source: nationalgeographic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
If you can get past the first sentence of this article without breaking a rib from laughing too hard, there's some shockingly shocking information that will shock you with shocking news about who actually profits from speed cameras
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Patheos)
 
 
 
Woman fired from job for a: Embezzling funds? B: Stealing sensitive data? or C: Not loving Jesus enough?
source: patheos.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
300 pounds of illegal Nepalese yak meat seized at JFK ... relatedly, Nepalese yak meat is apparently illegal
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
1) Create YouTube channel; 2) Abuse your kids as "pranks"; 3) Profit 4a) Hire PR firm and apologize; 4b) Begin family counseling
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Today is ANZAC day - so here's an American flag for you Kiwis, Aussies, and Poms honouring your heroes today
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 13 Orlando)
 
 
 
New restrictions added to Florida's medical marijuana law, adding a 90-day waiting period before a sick person can get pot they're not allowed to smoke, vape or eat
source: mynews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boing Boing)
 
 
 
Barbie's got a bun in the oven. Ken demands paternity test. fb- quietly skulks away
source: boingboing.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bloomberg)
 
NewsFlash
 
Here we go again: Federal judge blocks Trump's order denying funding to sanctuary cities
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WNEP Scranton)
 
 
 
Student finds earworm in school lunch. Not hears, finds
source: wnep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop these high-flyers
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Daily News)
 
NewsFlash
 
Fiery freeway pileup in Los Angeles leaves one dead, nearly a dozen injured and causes traffic chaos
source: dailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lexington Herald Leader)
 
 
 
Well, someone's Kentucky Derby celebration is going to be a little short on party favors
source: kentucky.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fusion)
 
 
 
Police who removed United passenger: Coming right for us, furtive movements, fear for my life, etc
source: fusion.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
Central Florida town to fly Confederate flag at half-mast. I guess we need to send the army back down there
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Minneapolis Star Tribune)
 
 
 
While it's not technically illegal to have a sex dungeon in your attic across the street from a school, police really don't like to find teenagers in it
source: startribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
Scientists bring us one step closer to a future where humans are grown in bags
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Why no one respects science: "Being "pro-science" has become a bizarre cultural phenomenon in which liberals engage in public displays of self-reckoned intelligence as a kind of performance art, while demonstrating zero evidence to justify it"
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox Business)
 
 
 
Crime fighting robots may be coming to a mall near you. You have thirty seconds to put down that Cinnabon
source: foxbusiness.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New Haven Register)
 
 
 
Wife's Fitbit logs steps after husband says she died
source: nhregister.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
US special forces end 6 year search for warlord Joseph Kony, who still remains at large. So be prepared for Kony 2017 reboot release this summer, with Kony 2023 and Kony 2030 also in the pipeline
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boing Boing)
 
 
 
In the Spanish language version of T2 of course the terminator doesn't say "hasta la vista baby"
source: boingboing.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(South China Morning Post)
 
 
 
So, how does China's first aircraft carrier stack up against other military powers?
source: scmp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Note to Americans: You can't just walk around Canada with a loaded gun. Sorry
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
Bill O'Reilly: "I am sad that I'm not on television anymore"
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
North Korea threatens to nuke Australia. Australia threatens to mail them a box of local wildlife
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oddity Central)
 
 
 
India's 68-year-old "Mother of Orphans" has raised over 1,400 abandoned children. "I am there for all those who have no one"
source: odditycentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop these Easter bonnets
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Marketwatch)
 
 
 
After one superpower invades Afghanistan a rival superpower arms insurgents. 1980? No. Today
source: marketwatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Arkansas death row: Let's play two
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bangor Daily News)
 
 
 
Woman banished from community after attacking her former lover with a sword. This is not a repeat from 1465 England
source: bangordailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Good: Oakland residents attempt historical reenactment. Bad: Train robbery
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Madison Daily Cardinal)
 
 
 
"Oh we got both kinds. We got country AND western," say UW Madison bar owners
source: dailycardinal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZ Family)
 
 
 
Life can be funny. One day you're on a reality TV show catching fish off the coast of Alaska and the next thing you know you're being arrested on meth charges in Phoenix
source: azfamily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Wikipedia founder coming out with new site that is all about fighting fake news. They'll hire and pay actual journalists which is the way you stop fake news. I know, you're saying, but what about Fox News?
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Marketwatch)
 
 
 
Trump declares war on Canada
source: marketwatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS San Francisco)
 
 
 
$100k/yr is considered low income in parts of the Bay Area. Sad and Scary tags fight over a crappy two room apartment for $5k/mo
source: sanfrancisco.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSL Salt Lake City)
 
 
 
Man denied lung transplant by University of Utah because he had THC traces in blood dies
source: ksl.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 5 Las Vegas)
 
 
 
Mall employees panic when topless female runs amok in shopping center splash pad. A 3-year-old topless female
source: fox5vegas.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Robert Pirsig has discovered the meaning of quality
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lancaster Online)
 
 
 
Earthquake hits Lancaster, Pennsylvania, not a manure pit was harmed
source: lancasteronline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Denver Post)
 
 
 
Attendees at the annual Denver 4/20 marijuana event turn the venue into a sh*thole. But, like, we didn't hurt anybody, man
source: denverpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 

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