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Main
Sports
Business
Geek
Entertainment
Politics
Video
Mon January 30, 2012
Source
Fark Headline
Comments
(Some Guy)
Mother-of-the-year tarts up 5-year-old for TV, sues media for $30M because her snowflake is "perceived sexually"
(
theclicker.today.msnbc.msn.com
)
(18)
Missing community activist found. Apparently, he fell down a well. Onto a bullet
(
washingtonpost.com
)
(22)
"Austerity in the face of depression is a very bad idea." By N. S. Sherlock
(
nytimes.com
)
(49)
(DailyFinance)
The list of America's 25 most dangerous neighborhoods. Chicago? NYC? Cincinnati laughs as it robs you at gunpoint
(
dailyfinance.com
)
(82)
(CBS-NY)
State Senator wants to ban eating on NYC subway trains. All other bodily functions still encouraged
(
newyork.cbslocal.com
)
(72)
(NBC New York)
Hey, remember that "Welcome to Vassar" message you got on our early decision applicant web site? Well, about that... funny story
(
nbcnewyork.com
)
(67)
Challenge: What war propaganda would look like if the US went to war with Luxembourg
(
en.wikipedia.org
)
(33)
You have a fight with your pregnant girlfriend - do you a) take the blame even if it's not your fault. b) walk away and come back when things cool down. c) rip off all of her clothes and leave her naked in the street. HINT: Florida Tag
(
beatcalls.com
)
(54)
Find out what your animal name is. This link submitted by Flopsy the Laughing Rhino
(
buzzfeed.com
)
(181)
(Washingtonian)
White House sources: Obama will be forced out of the Oval Office in 2013
(
washingtonian.com
)
(143)
You thought we were done with the horrible neighbors that taunted the dying little girl? They're on the Dr. Phil show today
(
mlive.com
)
(143)
(Some Guy)
Woman gives birth to toddler
(
abclocal.go.com
)
(71)
(Kitsap Sun)
Drunk 21 year old enters wrong apartment, climbs into bed with 80 year old woman. He told police nothing happened, at least nothing he wanted to admit
(
kitsapsun.com
)
(32)
A careful, point-by-point analysis of why Newt's moon base idea is pants-on-head retarded
(
slate.com
)
(176)
(Some Guy)
What's the most useless true fact you know?
(
pmbc.com
)
(959)
(Some Guy)
More lemmings last summer mean more snow owls on the hunt today. No, this is not a metaphor for the political scene in America
(
battlecreekenquirer.com
)
(28)
School science building burning. Must have been one hell of a paper mache volcano
(
news.com.au
)
(28)
(Some Guy)
Protip: when you go to pick up your ten kilogram shipment of cocaine, you should probably wait until you're off duty. And out of your uniform. And not driving your patrol car
(
todaysthv.com
)
(26)
Condo board bullies man to euthanize his pit bull - a "betrayal" of his best friend which drove him to suicide. Yep, there are no winners here. Unless you're the f**king condo board that is
(
nypost.com
)
(226)
Reminder: When using a government computer network, you have no reasonable expectation of privacy regarding any communications
(
washingtonpost.com
)
(100)
Not saying there is any need to panic or anything, but apparently just using one arm to measure blood pressure COULD END UP KILLING YOU
(
edmonton.ctv.ca
)
(59)
Muslim preacher arrested in Kenya, Secret Service plans rescue mission
(
iol.co.za
)
(28)
Just an "accident," officer, you know how confusing those pedals are when you're angry
(
tampabay.com
)
(40)
(Gwinnett Daily Post)
Illinois man sends murder threats and mailbombs to Georgia schools in hopes of getting personal enemies investigated. How'd that plan work out for you, big guy?
(
gwinnettdailypost.com
)
(13)
Detectives give up on murder case, turn evidence over to the public to see if they can figure it out
(
heraldtribune.com
)
(47)
Deceased multimillionaire leaves $1.5 million to chauffeur and doorman. Stiffed ex-wife is nonplussed, but classy: "He could f*ck a nun. I couldn't give a sh*t. We're divorced. The man is dead"
(
nypost.com
)
(119)
(Some Guy)
Scientists discover an ancient Egyptian mummy died of cancer. He must have smoked too many camels
(
arkansasonline.com
)
(31)
(Some Guy)
Crowd gathers in North Carolina for chance at sexual chocolate beer. "I am very warm in my coat. Had to skin a wookie to be here, it's basically a walking sleeping bag"
(
wdam.com
)
(42)
(Some Guy)
Another Club Med closes, narrowing the list of vacation destinations for balding, hairy-backed men hoping to get invited to a swinger party as they wander about the beach sucking down pina coladas while in the full throes of a mid-life crisis
(
couriermail.com.au
)
(39)
A most peculiar case of blue balls
(
dailymail.co.uk
)
(45)
Tourism tip: If you're planning a visit to the U.S., don't tweet about your plans to "destroy America" or dig up Marilyn Monroe
(
thesun.co.uk
)
(124)
Supermarket IDs woman buying pack of spoons, because spoons can be used to shoot heroin. With helpful instructions on how to prepare heroin with a spoon
(
dailymail.co.uk
)
(63)
Woman's rape claim suddenly loses credibility when police notice all her bruises wash off
(
news.com.au
)
(157)
Facebook detective tracks down attackers
(
lep.co.uk
)
(13)
Employees at new casino facing "term limits"
(
npr.org
)
(134)
Man leaves Catholic church, can't get off god's mailing list
(
npr.org
)
(97)
Rick Santorum: We need to cap medical malpractice awards to $250,000. World: Didn't you file a $500,000 malpractice suit against your wife's chiropractor in 1999? Santorum: That was different
(
washingtonpost.com
)
(195)
(Some Guy)
Colorado ranchers are using an aggressive breed of sheepdog that will savage any wolf, coyote, or tourist that gets too close to the flock
(
gazette.com
)
(121)
Two neighbors, one cup. Or, how to deal with thin walls when your neighbors are screwing like mink
(
gothamist.com
)
(100)
Yoga can make grandma flexible enough that she can get her legs behind her ears again
(
sun-sentinel.com
)
(21)
(CONTEMPORIST)
Photoshop these screw stools
(
contemporist.com
)
(19)
CEO of government-owned bank decides he doesn't need that £963,000 bonus after all, would rather not go through life with everyone in the country hating his guts
(
bbc.co.uk
)
(40)
*Knock knock* "What is it Leftenant Sebastian?" "It's just the Rebels, sir... they're here and they've brought a flag." "Damn, that's dash cunning of them"
(
abcnews.go.com
)
(60)
If you break into the CNN newsroom, it's probably best not to use their computers to check your Facebook status
(
upi.com
)
(38)
(Some Guy)
If you're in the Phillippines, do NOT put on your robe and wizard hat
(
abs-cbnnews.com
)
(29)
6.3 earthquake hits Peru. Twelve injured, flights delayed, travelers still not able to get over Machu Picchu
(
bbc.co.uk
)
(70)
CNN graphics department doesn't know where London is
(
mirror.co.uk
)
(81)
(Some Guy)
Another foot washes ashore on Vancouver beach, is immediately offered roster spot with Baltimore Ravens
(
huffingtonpost.ca
)
(48)
Special ed teacher, who had sex with one student and performed oral sex on six others, to serve only 60 days. Guess the gender and level of attractiveness (pic)
(
dailymail.co.uk
)
(171)
American insurance company is branching out to act like dicks in the international market
(
news.com.au
)
(70)
88-year-old former Marine reveals his life as a Hollywood rentboy. Nailed Katharine Hepburn and had orgies with every celeb of the 40's, 50's, 60's and 70's. Semper Fi bro, you're now my hero times two
(
dailymail.co.uk
)
(104)
Fisticuffs at Cowboy BBQ: "The argument began over whether food was done cooking, with the cook saying it wasn't done and that he would cook it until it was"
(
helenair.com
)
(45)
Five things to never feed your kids, which is basically everything we ate as kids
(
huffingtonpost.com
)
(118)
Change one word from the title of movie or TV show that it sounds like it could be something shown on late night Showtime or Cinemax
(
fark.com
)
(413)
Ow, My Balls
(
bbc.co.uk
)
(105)
Sun January 29, 2012
That'll do, rabbit. That'll do
(
io9.com
)
(74)
Caffeine may alter women's estrogen levels, BUT YOU BETTER KEEP THAT COFFEE COMING, YOU SON OF A BIATCH
(
9news.com
)
(78)
Restaurant owner discovers that over the years, people have tacked more than $10,000 in one-dollar bills to his cafe's walls. Donates 3-grand to the Boy Scouts and the rest to a hospital. Man, did those bills have a lot of dust on them
(
seattlepi.com
)
(72)
How does a paralyzed man end 19 years of silence? With the phrase: "I love you, ma"
(
thesun.co.uk
)
(43)
I have no idea what you're saying so here's a picture of a bunch of Indian kids dressed up like Gandhi
(
chron.com
)
(39)
This week's Mugshot Roundup features some retarded tattoos, a bunch of drunks, plenty of mustache wax, and someone who keeps a disorderly house
(
thesmokinggun.com
)
(107)
(Fairbanks Daily News-Minus)
How many people are willing go through with a 10k fun run at -49 degrees? Six, apparently
(
newsminer.com
)
(56)
Candidate who was barred from running because she doesn't speak English proficiently vows appeal. At least that's what they think she said, not really sure
(
news.yahoo.com
)
(221)
(Some Guy)
Photoshop this professor with a post-it
(
rit.edu
)
(27)
Massive car wreck looks like something out of a bad disaster movie
(
latimes.com
)
(134)
(Bangor Daily News)
Subby can't speak for you, but this is the first time he has seen 'unibrow' in a legitimate news article
(
bangordailynews.com
)
(34)
(AnnArbor.com)
And this month's Penn State award for delay in informing the authorities of child sexual exploitation and/or pornography goes to the University of Michigan
(
annarbor.com
)
(224)
150 years after the war, a state struggles to heal the wounds that still cut deep. No, not that state. Aaaand, not that war
(
startribune.com
)
(87)
Parking Wars, Cupcake Wars, Storage Wars, etc... What kind of _____ "Wars" show would you want to see?
(
en.wikipedia.org
)
(303)
Teachers to parents: "We've had enough, it's time to raise your own kids"
(
news.com.au
)
(207)
Philadelphia city council puzzled at lukewarm reception to its "Have another drink for the kids" proposal
(
philly.com
)
(20)
Somebody actually paid money to find out that travelers don't like the TSA
(
overheadbin.msnbc.msn.com
)
(44)
You you own an Apple iProduct? Well, then you are a horrible person and you should feel bad
(
cbsnews.com
)
(449)
(Lake Wallenpaupak)
Photoshop this drilling dude
(
pdnphotooftheday.com
)
(31)
This 6,000 calorie breakfast - 12 slices of bacon, 12 sausages, 14 eggs, 4 black pudding slices, 12 slices of bread, 2 hash browns, saute potatoes, mushrooms, beans, and tomatoes - weighs more than a baby. Get in mah belly
(
dailymail.co.uk
)
(186)
(Some Guy)
Six year old charged with sexual assault over game of tag. That is going on his permanent record
(
sanfrancisco.cbslocal.com
)
(155)
This just in: retailers will pay people to write positive reviews of their products
(
consumerist.com
)
(35)
(Some Guy)
It's hard to organize a quality beer festival when 90 out of the 100 highest-ranked beers in America are illegal in your state
(
wlox.com
)
(103)
Aviation experts warn: don't try to launch your own half-assed "experiments" into space, they could bring down commercial aircrafts
(
thestar.com
)
(140)
(Some Cool Guy)
The coolest snow structures you will see today. Just chill and enjoy
(
mailonsunday.co.uk
)
(40)
Pub landlord suspended for serving pints "too full" of beer
(
mirror.co.uk
)
(165)
(Some Guy)
"Teenagers not wired as whistleblowers." Well, to be fair, a good locker stuffing or swirlie can be considered as a good deterrent
(
ksl.com
)
(76)
You know it's a slow news day when the Los Angeles Times takes issue with the accuracy of Google's Snowflake Doodle
(
latimesblogs.latimes.com
)
(34)
Which would you rather have: a kiss or a hug? Why?
(
fark.com
)
(278)
CNN Asks "Who should be allowed to teach Yoga?" If their answer is anything other than "hot, flexible broads in tight pants", they're wrong
(
cnn.com
)
(165)
(San Sebastian)
Photoshop this Tamborillero
(
latimesphoto.files.wordpress.com
)
(23)
Boston to boost the attractiveness of public transportation by raising prices 40% and eliminating night and weekend service
(
metrowestdailynews.com
)
(143)
A New York inmate proves that if you have enough time, you too can figure out how to use the IRS Tax Refund system
(
denverpost.com
)
(40)
Don't you hate it when you come home from jail just to find a burglar in your house?
(
tampabay.com
)
(29)
Mystery lottery winner knows he's won $14.3 million but doesn't want it. That's a lot of trips back to the Bizarro world
(
huffingtonpost.com
)
(79)
George Washington may have been America's first president, but was he nearly America's first zombie-in-chief?
(
io9.com
)
(44)
I had to decide to stop the doctors from feeding my dad tonight. Want to say if you Farkers have dads-bad or good, call them and say, "Hello,"; it'll be important in the end
(
fark.com
)
(422)
55-year-old Florida man claiming Indian descent wears war paint, headdresses, and performs sacred dance ceremonies at heritage festivals across the state. Some Native Americans have a problem with this (w/ pic of alleged Indian)
(
heraldtribune.com
)
(164)
(Some Guy)
I'm afraid I'm gonna have to saw your arms off... wait a minute, are you just holding on to the can??
(
wwlp.com
)
(52)
Video of student dancing naked in nightclub paddling pool goes viral: "I'll bet she's regretting it now"
(
dailymail.co.uk
)
(220)
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