If you're going to rob a bank, it's probably best to wear a disguise, not a floor-length, green ball gown with your hair done up and face exposed
One of the last three surviving Jewish fighters from the Warsaw ghetto uprising of 1943 has died - here's one last l'chaim from Fark to Boruch Spiegel
Senator who voted against disaster aid for Sandy: now is not the time to discuss my position on Federal disaster aid. Did we mention he is from Oklahoma?
Gay man comes out as Boy Scout
3rd Annual Geek Pride Night @SkyBar in Bowling Green, OH, 8p May 22, Farkers welcome to the party
Vertical Pink Houses may be the future of farming. John Mellencamp unavailable for comment
Photoshop this foxy gaze
From a new romance novel inspired by Michelle Bachmann: "He touched the void inside her, pollinating her pink flower like a master bee." I have the weirdest boner right now
Hey, anyone want a free lighthouse?
Elizabeth Smart is awesome for many reasons. Most of all - telling Nancy Grace to STFU
Tornado Relief Photo Caption Contest; What is this relaxed survivor telling the Fire Fighters. Link goes to the Red Cross disaster relief donation page
Missing pregnant goat returned home after being found tied to a post alongside the road with sign saying "FREE LAWNMOWER"
Man kills self in Notre Dame cathedral in Paris. Tour guide not surprised, says he had a hunch back at the bell tower
Photoshop these munching marmots
High school teacher put on suspension after touching student with a banana. "That is disgusting, very disgusting," said the grandmother of a student at the school
Want to buy a blood sample that came from Mahatma Gandhi? It is up for auction in London
Ron Paul says, Fix the IRS by Shutting It Down 'once and for all'. Ron Farking Paul
Don't you love it when you buy an old watch at a garage sale for $40 and it turns out to be the geiger counter watch James Bond used in Thunderball and might be worth $90k?
Amy's Baking Company is hiring. Wait... Amy's Baking Company... that name sounds familiar. OH HELL NO
Thing you can scratch off your bucket list: Having to call the Icelandic search and rescue team because the iceberg you decided to use as an outdoor dinner spot drifted too far from shore
Eyewear company seeks assistance to give two patent trolls important life advice, specifically on how they can go f*ck themselves. Bonus: I'll buy a beer for anyone who wears this t-shirt to a Fark party -Drew
You can do a lot of bad things as a priest and hang on to your job. Plagiarizing sermons from sermons.com is not one of them
Sponsored Content is Pretty Farking Awesome (Featured Partner)
Guatemalan ex-president convicted of genocide last week gets a mulligan
Is Pope Francis a wizard?
I pity the fool that don't wish Mr. T a happy 61st birthday
As if the lightning, tornadoes, rain, and hail weren't bad enough, the Midwest is bracing itself for a Pollen Tsunami
Confused former UK Cabinet minister thinks gay marriage will force him to marry his son
Thieves buy convenience store with rubber check, sell gas at a big discount, mark everything in the store at 50%, collect $50,000 and scram before the downpayment check bounces
Man attacks cop outside Planned Parenthood, almost gets a late-term abortion after the cop shoots him
Feel free to cross Moscow on Syria or missile defense but hose them on Eurovision? ГОВНО ПРОСТО СТАЛ ПОДЛИННЫМ
Just when you thought you've seen it all on the Internet along comes the "cat beard" people
Apple is so hip, they've been making up Irish-American corporations that reside in both countries yet pay taxes in neither. That's like...whoa, man. My mind just got blown by your bodacious use of tax loopholes
Remember that mentally-handicapped newlywed couple that had to live in separate group homes? Well an offer has been made to let them live together in a group home. Clearly someone realized how retarded this all was
Football Coach can't beat up the other teams cheerleaders so he a) has players come help b) punches senior citizen defending them or c) both
Best Koreans are serious as hell about protecting their fishin hole
Man whose face was chewed off in zombie-like attack still recovering -- by strumming guitar. Wait, what?
Hard to believe but something good comes out of an interview with one of the survivors of the terrible tornado in Oklahoma
Hey, who we got to do a porn story in Kenya? Well, Odongo is free. Perfect
Teenager taunts cops on Facebook, "catch me if u can." Since you're reading this on Fark, you probably know what happened
Obama making move requested by Republicans for more than 5 years
Scientists say penguins traded their power of flight for swimming prowess. Which makes sense, if you've ever tried to catch fish in the air
Clearwater police show Washington D.C. how to handle a scandal
Hey, who put that giant hole in the middle of the street? Somebody could drive right into tha
The printer isn't working, so come back next week to finalise your divorce: The excuses made by Chinese marriage registry clerk credited with thwarting 500 divorces
For sale: Most expensive single-family home in the U.S.: 13,519 square feet, 12 bedrooms, 50 acres spread over two islands. $190 million. Negotiable
A little too late, but the 1845 Irish potato famine pest has been identified
If you are going to flash your fake badge to get into a strip club free make sure real cops are not around
Obama giving the finger to treaty to help get e-books to the blind
NASA is funding the development of 3D printing food for deep space missions
"Some problems may occur several days after the consumption of this product" - The waiver you have to sign before eating the new world's hottest pie
Photoshop this 7-minute workout
Who's the luckiest person in Florida? Even luckier than the Lotto ticket holder of the $590-million jackpot? The estranged wife of a man whose gun malfunctioned three times as he tried to shoot her
Would-be bank robber kicked out of bank, so he goes across the street to rob a CVS
Obama to deliver statement at 10am today regarding the Oklahoma Tornado. Will admit he only heard about it when the rest of us did, despite receiving memos hours earlier stating otherwise. THIS....is Twisterghazigateloo
Big Candy is at it again. Suck it, haters
Bass fishing. Dolphin protection. Veteran support. All these license plates that support causes, but how much money do said causes get? The answer won't surprise you because of the tag
Burglar destroys home and runs from cops, but stops mid-chase to grab a couple of beers by breaking into another home and then continues fleeing
Bomb shelters of the rich and famous
News: Canadian climbs Mount Everest. FARK: Double amputee conquers Mount Everest
Part-time model addicted to tanning in sun beds, admits she suffers from low-self esteem and tans to make herself feel better (w/pics)
Licensed volunteer wildlife rehabilitators help nurse animals back to health so they can reenter the wild and OH MY GOD BABY FOXES AND RACOONS
Oklahoma tornado thread #3. LGT live updates/streaming
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A church gave out free $25 Chik-fil-A gift cards to straight married couples attending its "Day to Honor Biblical Marriage" event. So far, no gay couples are reported to have reconsidered their sexual preference at the prospect of free chicken
