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Fri January 30, 2015
Source     Fark Headline Comments
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
It turns out all this time Shaggy was taking God's name in vain everytime he uttered, 'Gadzooks' or 'Zounds'
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(11)
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Oregon State coed cited for filming Beaver video in school library, officials claim "It's not clear who got it up there"
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(56)
 


Thu January 29, 2015
(Metro)
 
 
 
You've failed your written driver's test 15 times. Do you A) give up, B) find yourself a tutor, or C) ask a friend to take it for you, who also fails it and is then arrested for impersonating you
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(40)
 
(ITV)
 
 
 
Canadian man misses winning $27 million on Canadian lottery by seven seconds. Lottery: "Sorry aboot that"
source: itv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(28)
 
(Entertainment Weekly)
 
 
 
Suge Knight might be coming back to Death Row
source: ew.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(132)
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Workman saves pal from electrocution by hitting him with a plank of wood. Way to go, stud
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(18)
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
Hi, remember when you where a student and made a few anonymous donations at the local sperm bank to get money for booze? Yeah, about that...dad
source: thelocal.de   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(50)
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Treasure hunter hunted to Florida
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(3)
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Australia's two largest cities in the top ten "safest in the world." The rest of the country will try to kill you, though
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(36)
 
(Foodbeast)
 
 
 
Well. Who wouldn't want to get drunk off of Oreos?
source: foodbeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(49)
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Woman tries to feed bears, succeeds
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(64)
 
(AZ Family)
 
 
 
Bad: allowing unvaccinated children into public schools. Asinine: allowing unvaccinated patients into children's cancer wards
source: azfamily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(154)
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
"A man who shocked clubbers when he pulled down his trousers and defecated on a dancefloor has blamed 'a vindaloo curry and too many pints' for his behaviour"
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(57)
 
(Fox 40 Sacramento)
 
 
 
UC Davis hospital is treating a patient who may have Ebola. EVERYBODY PANIC, AGAIN
source: fox40.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(27)
 
(LiveJournal)
 
 
 
Photoshop Challenge: Cut on the dotted line
source: pics.livejournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(20)
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
A Welsh Nazi. Because when you think of socio-ethnic superiority, you think of the Welsh
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(40)
 
(Mother Jones)
 
 
 
FAA releases report of dumb sh*t people did with drones last year
source: motherjones.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(59)
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Next in the Department Of This Can't Go Wrong: Texas lawmakers bill would allow teachers to gun down students
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(71)
 
(Plymouth Herald)
 
 
 
Terrorist lockdown at primary school canceled after police arrest garden gnome
source: plymouthherald.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(19)
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
New Jersey went on pron binge during winter storm Juno
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(29)
 
(International Business Times)
 
 
 
"Life like" polar bear roaming London would be mistaken for real bear, except it hasn't actually maimed or killed anyone
source: ibtimes.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(19)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Guy who has been to Best Korea 140 times and is totally not an agent for their government would like you to know its a wonderful, happy place with religious freedoms and everything
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(136)
 
(WATE Knoxville)
 
 
 
Baby too young to be vaccinated held in quarantine after outbreak of herd stupidity
source: wate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(131)
 
(Some Food Nut)
 
 
 
Fark Food Thread: When you're putting together a fancy, romantic meal for a special someone, what do you do to really make it wow your audience? Have specific recipes or presentation suggestions so we don't all end up lonely? Show us how it's done
source: foodandwine.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(191)
 
(Independent)
 
 
 
The media are starting to realize people lie a lot on sex surveys with "shocking" findings that are blasted out as banner headlines and clickbait
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(48)
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Photoshop this sledging slider
source: i.telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(20)
 
(North Jersey)
 
 
 
Woman swallows several bags of marijuana at traffic stop, is freaking out, maaan
source: northjersey.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(78)
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Good: School schedules homophobic bullying workshop. Bad: School cancels homophobic bullying workshop. Fark: "Because both sides of argument should be represented"
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(159)
 
(Talking Points Memo)
 
 
 
In their latest defiant stand on behalf of free speech, French police detain and interrogate an 8-year-old boy who is alleged to have said nice things about the Charlie Hebdo attackers
source: talkingpointsmemo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(75)
 
(JSOnline)
 
 
 
I am proposal a funds reduce in high educate
source: jsonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(57)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
From the "must have been skimming hauls" files - two arrested for trafficking pot when they called 911 to report that undercover cops were possibly following them
source: newsradio1310.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(13)
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Just when you were about to book that flight to Africa, too
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(35)
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
"A stowaway who was trying to get to London after sneaking onto an empty plane was discovered after taking selfies in the cockpit" (pics)
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(23)
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Inventor of the origami condom -- which came in male, female, and anal versions -- being forced to pay back $2.4 million in NIH grants because -- big surprise here -- origami condoms don't actually "work"
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(44)
 
(Brantford Expositor)
 
 
 
I don't know what the hell a Bieber is - but it just apologized for being such a Bieber for the last few years and promises to be less of a Bieber in the future. Let's not be Biebers and give it a chance - 'kay?
source: brantfordexpositor.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(55)
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Suitcase full of body parts found in San Francisco. Looks like someone left their heart there... And a spleen, a lung, a patella
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(26)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Cure for cancer found...by little girl...over dinner
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(93)
 
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
Do not taunt the red colobus monkeys. Oh wait, you're one of the world's most elusive cats and this is the first time man has recorded you. Carry on then, we'll just film from over here
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(30)
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
You're trying to kill a cockroach. Do you A) stomp it with your shoe, B) wrap it in tissue paper and crush it, C) set it on fire, D) throw it into a toilet containing cleaning chemicals, E) all of the above - resulting in a massive explosion
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(53)
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
So do you want to hear the tale, the tale of the jail that turns criminals into hardcore radicals?
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(47)
 
(Daily Tribune)
 
 
 
Pro tip: If your reaction to weed is to run naked down 12 Mile trying "to go where the sun is at," please don't try acid
source: dailytribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(39)
 
(Indian Country Today)
 
 
 
Dances With Nazis (Warning: article contains not safe for work/graphic images)
source: indiancountrytodaymedianetwork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(54)
 
(Philly.com)
 
 
 
I guess if you can crawl through the rubble of a collapsed store, then yoga pants might be what you need
source: philly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(31)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Army sergeant finds love with dwarf stripper, says they love reenacting the charge up San Juan Hill in the bedroom (Some possibly Not safe for work images in article)
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(63)
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
A look at workplace meetings, and whether they're really creating the synergy and out-of-the-box design thinking that right-sized teams can, moving forward, leverage into capacity-building, win-win success scenarios
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(138)
 
(ABC 27)
 
 
 
One truck carrying coal and another hauling beer collide with each other, now Subby will be cold and sober tonight
source: abc27.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(16)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Today's Fark pro-tip: Don't propose to your fiance on the edge of a cliff. Pro-tip Bonus: Don't jump for joy on the edge of a cliff
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(41)
 
(WCAX Vermont)
 
 
 
40,000 people sign up for driver's privilege cards as undocumented drivers in Vermont. Surprisingly, at least 144 people in one city, didn't have a problem with that. The trouble is, was that city in VT or NY?
source: wcax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(82)
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Disabled Chinese woman is writing a book with her toes, has already been accused of plagiarism for not including footnotes
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(29)
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
FAA confirms plane crash was result of flight instructor's 'simulation' of an in-flight emergency
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(68)
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
Naked violinist sues after police arrest him for fiddling with himself
source: m.seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(30)
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
This week on Downton Abbey: in which the Dowager Countess gets high as balls down in the servants' quarters
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(19)
 
(Anniston Star)
 
 
 
The masking tape is mightier than the sovereign citizen
source: annistonstar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(107)
 
(Breitbart.com)
 
 
 
Arkansas gun range that banned "Muslims" is suffering due to boycott. Just kidding, business has quadrupled. Obvious tag beats follow up this time
source: breitbart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(386)
 
(Omaha World Herald)
 
 
 
Rather than waiting for the weather to warm up, Nebraska is going to use dynamite to break up an ice jam. What could go wrong?
source: omaha.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(55)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Deaf viewers complain automated live subtitling software is telling them to mambo dogface to the banana patch
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(46)
 
(CBS San Francisco)
 
 
 
"Negative Ghostrider, the Admiral's daughter is full"
source: sanfrancisco.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(86)
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Sex den found where shameless humans first had sex with Neanderthals. You can probably hear the echos of the savage grunting that went on to this day
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(42)
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Hunt for MH370 ends. CNN to go dark
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(59)
 
(Appleton Post Crescent)
 
 
 
Meal at Denny's turns into huge, greasy, life-threatening mess
source: postcrescent.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(55)
 
(Yahoo Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop these tough guys you should never mess with
source: l.yimg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(24)
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
Seattle Police Department apologizes for arresting 70-year-old black veteran for leaning on a golf club in public without carrying Starbucks coffee or hipster beard
source: gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(211)
 
(Central Somerset Gazette)
 
 
 
Dad releases balloons at son's grave every Christmas to spread word about his charity to save other children. Sniff. Farking hayfever
source: centralsomersetgazette.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(43)
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
If you keep telling everyone on social media you partied with Kate Upton in a hot tub while Slash serenaded you from a nearby gazebo as shooting stars soared overhead, you're going to damage your mental health
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(43)
 
(DNA Info)
 
 
 
Johnson & Johnson contractor arrested for spying on Johnson's Johnson
source: dnainfo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(19)
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Lawyer arrested for "resisting arrest" when she tells cop he doesn't need to take pics of her client
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(254)
 
(When On Earth)
 
 
 
You can't truly call yourself an American until you've tasted geoduck, reindeer hotdogs, and deep-fried Coca-Cola
source: whenonearth.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(48)
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
Good news stalkers. In Australia "It looks romantic in the movies" is a legitimate defense
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(33)
 
(New York Magazine)
 
 
 
Jewish leader arrested while trying to escape from Auschwitz
source: nymag.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(27)
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Injection that removes extra chins will soon be available in America, although the rest of your body will still be a pale, fat, doughy mess
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(15)
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
For those of you playing War on Terror Bingo,Taliban captures ISIS fighter released from Gitmo by Bush
source: fortressamerica.gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(52)
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
"Sorry, kids. No recess today. Drop your pants and bend over. It's poop inspection time"
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(89)
 
(Vox)
 
 
 
You're probably poorer than your parents were 30 years ago. But you've got a smartphone so it all evens out
source: vox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(178)
 
(STLToday)
 
 
 
Woman invites her boyfriend to a birthday party for her daughter at Chuck E. Cheese but demands he bring his gun, because she wanted him to shoot her daughter's father. Showbiz Pizza never had these kinds of trashy problems
source: stltoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(88)
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Comcast: "Dear A$$hole, here's your bill"
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(128)
 
(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 508: "Round and Round We Go" Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
source: farktography.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(94)
 

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