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Fri February 05, 2016
Source     Fark Headline Comments
(WebMD)
 
 
 
He gets a doughnut, she gets a doughnut, everybody gets a doughnut
source: webmd.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(1)
 
(ABA Journal)
 
 
 
Maine's highest court rules that a prosecutor pretending to be asleep during the defense's closing arguments may have been some seriously childish bullsh*t, but it 's not enough to overturn a murder conviction
source: abajournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(1)
 
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
At least they fixed the lost luggage problem
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(0)
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Drug dealer taunts police on Facebook with boast of 'You will never find me.' The predictable happens
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(10)
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
A woman is trying to commit suicide? Well, we can't have THAT, so PEW PEW PEW
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(40)
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
Prosecutor decries the crocodile tears of a middle school murderer, hopes a Florida jury knows what crocodile tears are
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(2)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Looks like edgy pro-rape crusader is indeed a king... of his mom's basement
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(33)
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Cashier with five-iron tees off on robber with knife
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(9)
 
(Myrtle Beach Online)
 
 
 
In today's episode of "Things for Parents to Freak Out About," the hair tourniquet
source: myrtlebeachonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(52)
 
(Gannett Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this trophy oyster
source: gannett-cdn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(17)
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
8-year-old robs grocery at gun point. Mom's comment: "when I grabbed my purse, it was so light.... I said, where is my gun?"
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(144)
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Not that anybody's thinking about anything but the game this Sunday, but for those of you not into sportsball, we have a fresh Fark Weird News Quiz for you. Still warm from the oven
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(37)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Giant marauding vagina attacks small Spanish town (Not safe for work pics)
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(101)
 
(freakoutnation)
 
 
 
Cliven pulls off the TripleBundy, with three sons now in jail
source: freakoutnation.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(113)
 
(Shanghaiist)
 
 
 
This is not helicopter parenting, this is totally gung ho: World's most demanding dad beats his regiment of children into submission by training them semi-naked in the snow
source: shanghaiist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(29)
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
As part of ongoing efforts to heal The Great Schism of 1054, a Roman Catholic Pope is meeting with a Patriarch of the Russian Orthodox Church for the first time in history. So, naturally, they chose.. Havana?..as the place to meet
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(53)
 
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
Tensions rise as Mount Dora searches for a new city manager, but so far only a purple monkey, felonious fox, and a talking backpack have expressed interest
source: orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(32)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Why won't the CIA reveal what's in its art collection?
source: us.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(39)
 
(Gizmag)
 
 
 
Germany's Wendelstein 7-X fusion reactor produces first flash of hydrogen plasma. Scientists say they'd have had it 18 months ago if not for pesky time travelers constantly interrupting them
source: gizmag.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(69)
 
(24/7 Wall Street)
 
 
 
Ever wonder which companies profit the most from war? Here's your list
source: 247wallst.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(92)
 
(KOB4)
 
 
 
One of the few times when "a howitzer" is the appropriate answer in civilian life
source: kob.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(63)
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Y'all Qaeda may need to pay $3.4 million for damage they did. Great Dildo Sale of '16 commences
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(406)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Woman claims elusive "goat rapist' is attacking her stock and everyone thinks she's nuts: "I have had the police out here a few times. I don't think they are taking me seriously"
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(56)
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Sad: Going to a funeral. Weird: Your own funeral. Amusing: To confront your husband who hired hit men to kill you
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(82)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
After finding out that sex lube costs as much as 28 times as much as a barrel of oil, President 0bama proposes evening the score
source: money.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(198)
 
(Cheddar Valley Gazette)
 
 
 
'I'm being beaten up by ghosts' - Cops reveal weirdest paranormal emergency calls most of which will make you go...'Why?'
source: cheddarvalleygazette.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(22)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Police warn of theft ring targeting classic cars, such as 1980s Ford Escorts: "It's all about the resale value. Enthusiasts and collectors will pay thousands, sometimes tens of thousands of pounds for a desirable Cortina or Escort"
source: ryeandbattleobserver.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(163)
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Several drivers in Manhattan who were happy they scored a free street spot this morning next to a crane are going to have a really bad evening commute
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(82)
 
(Press & Sun Bulletin)
 
 
 
Casinos worried that millennials aren't getting into traditional gambling like their parents and grandparents, so they're bringing in tattoo studios, mixed martial arts competitions and other offbeat attractions to attract a younger clientele
source: pressconnects.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(135)
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Here's how to offer a cash reward, because you've probably been doing it wrong your whole life
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(31)
 
(Weird Asia News)
 
 
 
Hey boss, can I get the hot cocoa sampler box instead?
source: weirdasianews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(52)
 
(Mashable)
 
 
 
Ahh, the life of a politician. One day you're negotiating international trade agreements, the next day you're getting slapped in the face with a pink dildo
source: mashable.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(73)
 
(Belfast Telegraph)
 
 
 
Zimbabwe is a disaster. Again
source: belfasttelegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(76)
 
(Some Acoustic Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this lady listening to a glacier
source: spirs.lib.montana.edu   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(21)
 
(Denver Post)
 
 
 
Kneel before Xi
source: denverpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(48)
 
(AZCentral)
 
 
 
High school referee says Native American players on a girls basketball team cannot wear traditional Navajo buns in their hair. Players go on the warpath
source: azcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(218)
 
(CBS Chicago)
 
 
 
If only there were some way to identify the criminal mastermind who sat down inside a photo booth and broke into the cash drawer
source: chicago.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(18)
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Ugly-ass 8-month-old sea lion wanders into a fancy restaurant, curls up in a booth, and goes to sleep
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(30)
 
(WATE Knoxville)
 
 
 
Mental note: Never -- and I mean NEVER -- pick a fight with a guy who has "PSYCHO" tattooed across his forehead
source: wate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(88)
 
(TreeHugger)
 
 
 
You don't go into fast food shops and yell at kids for eating fast food. You don't go into bars and yell at drunks for drinking too much. You don't go into homes and yell at people to get off the sofa. Yet you yell at cyclists for not wearing helmets
source: treehugger.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(264)
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
A little song, a little dance, a little teeth-rotting, carbon acidic seltzer down your pants
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(18)
 
(Digital Trends)
 
 
 
Scientists have sequenced the genome of bedbugs in order to find ways to eradicate them
source: digitaltrends.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(60)
 
(Asahi Shimbun)
 
 
 
Taxi drivers in the Fukushima region report picking up ghosts of people who died from the tsunami
source: ajw.asahi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(115)
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Study: winners are unethical people because winning makes people unethical
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(85)
 


Thu February 04, 2016
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Perhaps you wonder why McDonald's doesn't explicitly promote their new Kale Salad as healthy fast food. Well, they're clowning us
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(105)
 
(DNA Info)
 
 
 
Off-duty NYPD officer awarded $15 million after incident of cop-on-cop violence
source: dnainfo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(99)
 
(KMOV St. Louis)
 
 
 
The Chargers are going to Detroit
source: kmov.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(50)
 
(Yakima Herald Republic)
 
 
 
Dear Crabby: "My granddaughter cheats at Candy Land." Crabby: "given that I laughed like an idiot when my nephew mooned me while shouting "BOO BOO BUTT", I may not be the best person to ask for advice here"
source: yakimaherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(62)
 
(London Evening Standard)
 
 
 
Rescuers hope stranded sperm whale that washed up on a beach in Norfolk will die overnight to end its suffering before they have to break out the dynamite
source: standard.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(62)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
That's not a crab. THIS is a crab
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(125)
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop these beach boys
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(27)
 
(News 10 Albany)
 
 
 
Some people are accused of having a hollow leg in regard to their drinking habits. Then there's this guy
source: news10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(21)
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Want to buy one of everything for sale on Amazon? Unless you have over $13B, don't even bother
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(41)
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
One too many cooks spoils the recipe
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(53)
 
(Capital New York)
 
 
 
It's been a few months since Sheldon Adelson secretly bought the Las Vegas Review-Journal. Let's see what's going on with the pa-OH LAWD
source: capitalnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(95)
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Meet DadBod Ken
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(24)
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Remember how a bunch of bad mortgage debt crashed the American economy in 2008 and set off a world-wide recession? Yeah, not to worry you but it looks like China's sitting on about $5 TRILLION in bad loans right now, or about half of their entire GDP
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(119)
 
(Fast Company)
 
 
 
Transcendental meditation guru urges parents to teach their older children to meditate. "Like expensive coffee, books without pictures, or Captain Beefheart, there are certain things that are wasted on young children"
source: fastcompany.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(24)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Apparently Pharma Douche is a great guy and not a huge farking douche
source: finance.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(131)
 
(Fox 2 St. Louis)
 
 
 
Remember that retired Ohio police officer who's K-9 partner was set to be auctioned? Yep, the dog was sold, at the opening bid of $1
source: fox2now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(74)
 
(Seattle Times)
 
 
 
Seattle hair salon employees clipped via text message
source: seattletimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(39)
 
(Bacon Bomb)
 
 
 
The Bacon Bomb Explosion Burger wins at the Florida State Fair, as it should have
source: tbreporter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(36)
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
After a 6 hour drive to remote fishing village on northern coast of Iceland, NJ tourist comes realize that he entered the wrong address into GPS for his Reykjavík hotel, proceeds to have fun anyway
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(73)
 
(Some Mac & Cheese Guy)
 
 
 
Fark Food Thread: How do you do your Mac & Cheese to get you through the winter months? Subby works a white truffle oil in with fontina and gruyère cheese and some orecchiette pasta topped with buttered panko breadcrumbs to stave off the cold
source: williams-sonoma.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(207)
 
(News 13 Orlando)
 
 
 
Batman robs Florida dollar stores, as he's apparently not the crook Florida deserves or needs, just one of the ones they happen to have right now
source: mynews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(23)
 
(Australian Financial Review)
 
 
 
Father who tried to claim his 7-year-old as an 'employment related expense' on his taxes loses his case in court
source: afr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(40)
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this sapphire pool in Denali National Park
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(32)
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Surprising absolutely no one, there are Zika virus Truthers
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(78)
 
(WSMV Nashville)
 
 
 
Woman injured at Darmok and Jalad gig in Nashville
source: wsmv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(62)
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
A Spanish channel has launched naked English language lessons with teachers giving classes completely in the nude. You know subby could use a couple of pointers
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(89)
 
(WBIR Knoxville)
 
 
 
Still waiting for your tax return? Well, the IRS computer that handles that was the same one that contained Lois Lerner's emails so there'll be a slight delay
source: wbir.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(56)
 
(The Stack)
 
 
 
My other evolution-enhancing monolith is also a Porsche
source: thestack.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(31)
 
(KWQC Quad Cities)
 
 
 
The University of Iowa is missing a goat used in research, and it's gallivanting around the Iowa City metro area
source: kwqc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(58)
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Missing cat found in pet food factory two years later, weighing twice as much as it used to
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(96)
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
If you bought a lottery ticket on August 8 in an LA 7-Eleven, you might want to check the numbers
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(20)
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Affluenza strikes Canada as member of family worth billions who killed 3 kids and their grandfather while driving drunk "accepted full responsibility and accountability for his conduct and the devastating consequences of that conduct." Wait, what?
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(105)
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
WWJK? All of them. "Jesus would have killed them all"
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(171)
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
When the husband cometh into his wives chamber, he must entertain her with all kind of dalliance, wanton behaviour, and allurements to venery
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(47)
 
(STV.tv)
 
 
 
Hilarity ensues as police go to trailer to arrest former pro wrestler: "He was acquitted of a charge of sitting on top of one officer and hitting him with his elbow because the only potential witness was face-down in a headlock at the time"
source: news.stv.tv   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(25)
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
LIve like a king in your own castle for just $19,000? What's the catch?
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(37)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Is(no)
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(118)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Looks like Baghdad has been playing Fallout 4
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(97)
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Pharma Bro pleads the 5th to every question except how to pronounce his name. Committee feeling ill
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(231)
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Cologne marks second ladies' night in a month
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(47)
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
"Stress-related hair loss has certainly been observed in dogs, cats, humans and even bears, but this is the first time we've heard of it happening to a hedgehog"
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(29)
 
(Phys Org2)
 
 
 
Study finds half of all attacks on people by large carnivores were triggered by people doing nothing at all
source: phys.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(94)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
There are Worse ways to go - Elderly man 'who died while having sex is wheeled away by paramedics - with the prostitute still attached to him'
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(82)
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Come April, Britain will kick out all foreigner workers who make less than $50,000
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(75)
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
If you left your Lexus parked on the roof of a Los Angeles home, police would like to have a word with you
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(15)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Do you want to create a profile on Ashley Madison, but also want a degree of anonymity? Simply wear a Lone Ranger mask on your picture
source: money.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(39)
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
"Dear Prudence: Our nanny just told us she's HIV positive. Should we fire her just to be safe? That wouldn't be illegal, would it?"
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(83)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
In 1951, members of the Explorers Club dined on woolly mammoth. Only it wasn't woolly mammoth, but sea turtle
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(31)
 
(Oregon Live)
 
 
 
Grand jury indictments against Y'all Qaeda to be released today
source: oregonlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(754)
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
A barrel of sex lube currently costs 28 times as much as a barrel of oil
source: gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(67)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Who knew possession of more than two decks of playing cards was illegal?
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(67)
 
(Des Moines Register)
 
 
 
"The bill would prohibit Iowa's three state universities to cooperate with Stanford University until school officials publicly apologize to Iowans for mocking the state with a cow by the marching band during the Rose Bowl." Iowans can't take a joke
source: desmoinesregister.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(76)
 
(Buzzfeed)
 
 
 
Legal rape advocacy founder cancels worldwide meetups because he could not guarantee the safety of attendees
source: buzzfeed.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(330)
 
(WCVB Boston)
 
 
 
Mary Fiumara, who starred in iconic Prince Pasta commercial as smothering Italian mama in North End of Boston, is dead at 88
source: wcvb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(36)
 
(Ars Technica)
 
 
 
Senators blast Comcast for predatory billing practices
source: arstechnica.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(70)
 
(Time (Images))
 
 
 
Photoshop this quick break
source: timedotcom.files.wordpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(26)
 
(KLTV Tyler)
 
 
 
We have standards. You'll never fit in at Taco Bueno unless you can hotwire a customer's car in under twelve seconds
source: kltv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(58)
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Protip: When burglarizing an apartment building, do not sign into your Twitter account from the front desk computer under the surveillance cameras
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(24)
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Bigamist caught after he failed to make a new Facebook account and posted photos from his latest wedding
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(41)
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Would the last person in Sydney please turn out the lights?
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(96)
 
(Kansas City)
 
 
 
At least 10 people have reported becoming sick with gastrointestinal illness after eating at a Buffalo Wild Wings. That's not normal?
source: kansascity.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(66)
 
(Tulsa World)
 
 
 
School superintendent erects signs warning that its teachers are packing heat. His justification? "Having a sign in your front yard saying 'this is a gun-free zone' just tells the idiots, 'Come on in,' because we can't defend ourselves"
source: tulsaworld.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(291)
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Everybody was "Vaginal Kung-Fu Fighting." Wait what?
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(90)
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Nice: Getting a whole row to yourself on a flight. Awesome: Getting the whole plane to yourself
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(93)
 
(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 561: "That's Cold 2" Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
source: farktography.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(54)
 

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