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Sat July 26, 2014
Source     Fark Headline Comments
(Athens Banner Herald)
 
 
 
Georgia State Patrol threatens to ticket slow drivers for blocking fast lane
source: onlineathens.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(48)
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
When you have a voice like Morgan Freeman's, you don't even need to wear a beekeeper's suit to feed the bees living in the beehives in your backyard. You just charm them with your relaxed velvet voice
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(14)
 
(KTLA Los Angeles)
 
 
 
For those who bet on "Suspect in home invasion was not pregnant," please step up to collect your prize
source: ktla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(114)
 
(Fortune)
 
Plug
 
Why the Whole Foods panic is overdone (Featured Partner)
 
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Dear Prudence: Our 7 year-old daughter regularly goes to sleep over at her friend's house. On a routine Google search, I learned the girl's father was a sex offender; he says he was 18 and had a 14 year-old girlfriend. What should I do?
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(107)
 
(Elite Daily)
 
 
 
Sharp knees are still ok with this guy
source: elitedaily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(62)
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
After investigating for three years, aviation authorities say helicopter crash was caused by "failure to maintain clearance" near mountains. In related news, flying into a mountain makes you crash
source: seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(16)
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
US evacuates embassy in Tripoli following clashes between rival militias
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(50)
 
(KTLA Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Looks like somebody's mommy and daddy didn't show them enough attention
source: ktla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(37)
 
(Fark)
 
Plug
 
Totalfark: It makes you feel like it's 72 degrees in your head. All the time
 
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
"Nurse struck by lightning inside her house is saved by her flip flops". Shocking
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(49)
 
(Edmonton Sun)
 
 
 
Whilst the death penalty for serial killers is of debatable morality, I think we can all agree that thieves who steal the ashes of dead children pretty much deserve a hangin'
source: edmontonsun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(55)
 
(Some Mamika)
 
 
 
Photoshop this Super-Grandma
source: api.ning.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(17)
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Ok, so now we know why it was abandoned
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(40)
 
(PSFK)
 
 
 
Click this link to watch a celebrity cat video that provides a meal for a shelter animal each time someone watches it - up to one million meals. Sounds like a job for Caturday
source: psfk.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(585)
 
(KTAR Phoenix)
 
 
 
The rest of you can mock us for living in Arizona when it's 117 outside all you want, but it's still better than shoveling snow
source: ktar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(136)
 
(Calgary Herald)
 
 
 
Fertility clinic tells white woman she can only choose white semen. She was okay with that until they also said she can only choose from white donors
source: calgaryherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(139)
 
(National Catholic Reporter)
 
 
 
Caption this Cafeteria Catholic
source: ncronline.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(37)
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Russia declares McDonald's to be "unsanitary and unhealthy"
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(73)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Parents of the year candidates say they 'can't see what the fuss is about' after their 4-year-old daughter and her toddler brother were found playing next to a dumpster near a busy road
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(26)
 
(New Zealand Herald)
 
 
 
The latest peril from the animal kingdom: GIANT KILLER ANTEATERS
source: nzherald.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(45)
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Tooth Fairy declares bankruptcy
source: blog.sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(29)
 


Fri July 25, 2014
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
America's favorite burger chain? Well it's not that one place, or that other place either
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(239)
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
"How shenanigans start on the internet." Article is a bit more in-depth than "Hey, y'all, watch this"
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(25)
 
(Jezebel)
 
 
 
Newest trend in marriages? Beta testing. Thanks, millennials
source: jezebel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(85)
 
(KTVU Bay Area News)
 
 
 
BART's coliseum station closed due to A's signing a new 10-year lease
source: ktvu.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(24)
 
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
Not News: Insurance refuses to buy 6 year old a prosthetic arm. News: Engineering students decide to build him one. FARK: Boy now has new bionic arm. It cost $350.00 to build. And the students just put the design into the public domain - for free
source: orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(134)
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Here is a list of some of the best New Yorker articles that you have three months to read before they go behind the paywall
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(24)
 
(CBS New York)
 
 
 
Man searches abandoned house, finds "old mop" and brings it to the local SPCA to get cleaned up
source: newyork.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(40)
 
(LAist)
 
 
 
Turns out International travel insurance isn't all inclusive in case of horrific Mexican ziplining accidents
source: laist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(52)
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
Who would have thought that a violent felon who repeatedly runs from the cops would make a reliable informant? Well, the cops, apparently
source: seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(11)
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Y'know how that airliner getting shot down last week was going to force Russia to re-assess their aggression in Ukraine and back off? Yeah, today they started shelling Ukraine and giving more weapons to the nuts who shot down the plane last week
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(163)
 
(Salon)
 
 
 
Woman who tested positive for the ebola virus has escaped quarantine and is now loose in a city of one million people. FUEL AIR BOMB
source: salon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(144)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this leisurely reader
source: files.adme.ru   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(19)
 
(The Indy Channel)
 
 
 
Pineapple upside-down truck
source: theindychannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(13)
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
Congratulations, Northern Virginia, on finally being named the North American hub of a major disease outbreak
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(50)
 
(The Consumerist)
 
 
 
Nope
source: consumerist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(68)
 
(Gulf Live)
 
 
 
"Hi, yes, we'd like to order a family-sized pizza. Our address? Oh, we live in the rental truck we stole a couple of months ago"
source: blog.gulflive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(34)
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
An absurd Middle East peace plan that might work
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(98)
 
(ABC)
 
 
 
If you're an older lady and you want to make a few nice gestures for the kids in your community, it's probably not a good idea to start anonymously leaving porcelain dolls on the doorsteps of girls to whom they hold an eerie resemblance
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(76)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
UN Secretary General to Hamas and Israeli forces: "This is wrong. You must stop fighting." Of course both sides lay down their weapons and hug each other
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(137)
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Profiles of some of the victims of MH17 will make the room dusty
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(45)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
OK, let me mansplain to you wimmins why you need to stay away from that 50 Shades of Grey movie
source: themattwalshblog.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(170)
 
(Denver Channel)
 
 
 
Help. I've fallen in the tub and I can't get out. (repeat for 11 days)
source: thedenverchannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(19)
 
(National Catholic Reporter)
 
 
 
Pope Francis heads down to the cafeteria for lunch with the regular workers. In other news, there's a Vatican cafeteria
source: ncronline.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(105)
 
(The Blaze)
 
 
 
It's probably best to turn off your pump when fleeing from a fire at a gas station
source: theblaze.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(40)
 
(Times Union)
 
 
 
Perhaps storing your methadone in a baby bottle is not the best idea, Mother of the Year Candidate
source: timesunion.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(41)
 
(Free Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this vintage radio
source: freeimages.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(26)
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
Bad: having to call your parents to pick you up after a car crash. Worse: having to call your parents to pick you up after a plane crash
source: seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(35)
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Clear your desks, still your mind, finish the bottle and hide from the boss: it's time for the Fark Quiz. Fortified with vitamins, minerals, and enough booze to kill a Canadian unicorn
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(33)
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Prosecutors say Brooklyn woman decapitated her neighbor and then scattered her dismembered body parts all over Long Island because the victim was late paying the rent. And you thought YOUR landlord was a dick
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(74)
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
You think you've got problems? Imagine living in Georgetown in an $8 million mansion that doesn't have a garage to hold your four cars, and there's not enough street parking, AND you even have to sometimes *shovel* in the winter
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(122)
 
(Toronto Sun)
 
 
 
It takes a lot to top the weird behavior of NYC subway riders, but plucking and eating a live bird definitely puts you in contention
source: torontosun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(57)
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
Alabama man sues hospital for mistakenly amputating his penis. No word on whether he will be changing his name to "Hedwig"
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(133)
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Things I learned from this article 1) Valdimir Putin has a 29-year old daughter who is mildly hot. 2) she lives in the Netherlands 3) She's lying low right now because people named Putin ain't real popular there just right now
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(167)
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Eva Peron's limo for sale. Lots of power, stylish exterior, may unexpectedly stop running
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(38)
 
(NBC Philadelphia)
 
 
 
I'll have the large fries, a McDouble and a side of cocaine
source: nbcphiladelphia.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(49)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
If your wife is a "messy" housekeeper, you should a) volunteer to help share cleaning tasks, b) hire a maid to help clean the house, or c) stab her 84 times and put a pig mask on her face
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(74)
 
(San Francisco Examiner)
 
 
 
Former SFSU accounting professor invites current and former students over to his house for a party; fails to account for blinking red light from camera hidden in a tissue box in bathroom
source: sfexaminer.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(52)
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
News: Russian newspaper prints front-page apology to MH17 victims. Not news: Russian newspaper that has seen four of its journalists murdered since 2001
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(67)
 
(Rocketnews 24)
 
 
 
Japanese newscaster, who previously admitted to not knowing what PowerPoint was, suggests that residents facing power outages during heatwave use electric fans to stay cool. This guy is like the anti-Romero or something
source: en.rocketnews24.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(42)
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Religion of Pieces
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(130)
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Police are beginning to start the early processes of maybe kind of opening a process in which they possibly consider the notion that there might be a slight chance, maybe, that prosecuting teenagers for sexting is a waste of resources
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(59)
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
Old and busted: Upskirt photos. New hotness: Upskirt panty removal
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(36)
 
(Wells Journal (UK))
 
 
 
Coach driver tries to hold city tourism hostage over £7.80. It's like Speed, but without the driving
source: wellsjournal.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(10)
 
(Chron)
 
 
 
"Sunni militias pinched by Jihadis" Sounds like somebody's butthurt
source: chron.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(19)
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
It turns out the ancient world was terrorized by tyrannosaur gangs straight out of Chompton
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(50)
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
There is a lizard sex satellite floating in space, and Russia no longer has it under control
source: m.washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(85)
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
NASA would like humanity to know that on July 23rd, 2012 a massive solar flare nearly destroyed Earth's entire electrical infrastructure, which would have plunged the world into total chaos. Have a nice day
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(208)
 
(My Fox DC)
 
 
 
One for the "Holy Farking hell" file: "They were going into places like the anal area, the vaginal area, the pubic area of the males," Doris Kennard said. "That's where they would get in"
source: myfoxdc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(101)
 
(AsiaOne)
 
 
 
You know you're hardcore when you use a blowpipe to sedate cows so you can stuff them in the back seat of your car
source: news.asiaone.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(34)
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Hello police? We found a witch. May we burn her?
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(54)
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Two men. Both illegally carrying guns. Both shoot another human being. Now what?
source: news.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(283)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this volcanic formation
source: naukaifakty.ru   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(21)
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Not news: Man gets pulled over. News: And calls 911 to report a fake murder happening nearby to try and get out of getting a citation. Fark: Which upgrades a $209 speeding fine to a third-degree felony charge
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(31)
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
River in China mysteriously turns blood-red overnight
source: sploid.gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(91)
 
(Salon)
 
 
 
There is a new group calling themselves "Macktivists," which is composed of men who pretend to be feminists so they can hit on feminists in online chatrooms, forums, and Salon.com articles
source: salon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(387)
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
Seattleite attempts to understand himself better by analyzing The Onion headlines about Seattle
source: seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(10)
 
(ABC2News Baltimore)
 
 
 
Pro-Tip: Don't taunt police on their Facebook page if you have an open warrant out for your arrest
source: abc2news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(15)
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Come for the awesome collapse of an arched iceberg into the sea. Stay for the resulting wall of water heading toward the small boat that was close to said iceberg
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(100)
 
(Regina Leader-Post)
 
 
 
Owner of youth shelter defends her decision to require parents to pay if they wanted their children back
source: leaderpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(31)
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
"My son has been suspended five times. He's 3 years old." Sounds like you really hit that parenting thing out the park
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(240)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Repo man towing your 'prized' Cadillac Escalade? That's a tire iron to the windows, a mess in the driveway and one sore bite mark
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(83)
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Amazing Pizza Hut meals from around the world people from New York and Chicago could only wish to eat
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(81)
 
(Independent)
 
 
 
Zebra: the other black-and-white meat
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(44)
 

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