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Sun February 01, 2015
Source     Fark Headline Comments
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
"Circumcise" and "kitchen knife" should never be in the same headline, but then again, it is Florida
source: orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(29)
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
For you cheap bastards who gave up cable for your neighbor's wifi and your dad's Netflix password, you can forget juggling pirate streaming sites this year - NBC is streaming the Superb Owl in HD for free
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(75)
 
(Shepton Mallet Journal)
 
 
 
Plane crash, ship wreck or natural disaster with scores of unidentifiable victims? Better call John, the Tooth Whisperer
source: sheptonmalletjournal.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(9)
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Man stops and wonders how severe the lightning is. Then it struck him
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(21)
 
(Cheddar Valley Gazette)
 
 
 
School isolates student who shaved head for charity until his hair grows to a respectable length. Damn hippies
source: cheddarvalleygazette.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(98)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
You want a prediction about the weather, you're asking the wrong Phil. I'll give you a winter prediction: It's gonna be cold, it's gonna be grey, and it's gonna last you for the rest of your life
source: carolinacoastonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(27)
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Chemist who developed the birth control pill has died. He leaves behind two children, as early trials of the pill did not go all that well
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(20)
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
If you think you're a true vegan you also probably think there is no way your sugar could contain bone char from cows
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(89)
 
(TreeHugger)
 
 
 
There is a little animal that scientists think might be able to live forever. No, not your grandmother's blind and vicious chihuahua
source: treehugger.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(36)
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
Boston's second experiment with late night transit service is Boston's second expensive failure
source: bostonglobe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(52)
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Where the hell is Slim Pickens when you need him for a mission to counter the Russians flying a nuke up the Channel?
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(48)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Mugging victim has £165k (and counting) pledged after beautician starts a Go Fund Me campaign for him. A random act of kindness and senseless beauty
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(11)
 
(This Is Colossal)
 
 
 
Photoshop these colorful canopies
source: thisiscolossal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(19)
 
(Forbes)
 
 
 
CSB Sunday Morning: Field Trips
source: forbes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(61)
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Pastor who claims Starbucks makes 'semen lattes' admits he's been 'tempted' by gay lifestyle. Well, it certainly seems to be on his mind often enough
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(92)
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
"You're not vaccinating your children? Well, it's been nice being your doctor." California pediatrician lays down the law over measles outbreak
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(190)
 
(Bay News 9)
 
 
 
Old: Car jacking someone at 4am. Florida: Carjacking a police officer for their cruiser. (w/bonus mugshot of how well that turned out for him)
source: baynews9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(32)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Damien really doesn't want competition for that Antichrist role, does he?
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(32)
 
(Time)
 
 
 
The Midwest and Northeast brace for SNOWMAGEDDON II: THE REVENGE as a winter storm approaches just in time for Groundhog Day. Will Bill Murray escape purgatory? Will we keep the internet? OH GOD AM I OUT OF COFFEE?
source: time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(140)
 
(Ottawa Citizen)
 
 
 
It's that one week a year when Canadians stop doing chainsaw carpentry long enough to chainsaw ice sculptures (pics)
source: ottawacitizen.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(9)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Anti-stalking expert, 68, accused of stalking by his blonde colleague, 39 - and the victim is now using stalker's tools of smear and innuendo against him. Ironic doesn't know who to cheer for in this one
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(60)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Police conclude suspicious package is harmless after finding several tips
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(12)
 
(Think Progress)
 
 
 
Landmines kill 15,000 per year. Thanks a lot, Princess Diana
source: thinkprogress.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(44)
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Charles Manson is so desperate to conceive a devil child with his 26-year-old wife, he's devising a way to smuggle his sperm out of the prison
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(67)
 
(Crooks & Liars)
 
 
 
They bring a snowball? You bring a gun. It's the New Rochelle way
source: crooksandliars.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(38)
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Webster's Dictionary defines "awkward" as this story
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(47)
 
(TuneIn)
 
 
 
Coming up at the top of the hour, it's the first Livingston Stapler Company Presents show of 2015. Two hours of live music from Juneau, Alaska hosted by a farker
source: tunein.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(199)
 
(AZCentral)
 
 
 
Raw sewage backed up and sat in puddles next to the Fan Zone at the Waste Management Phoenix Open. "Many of them walked through the dirty water, unaware of what was on the ground"
source: azcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(35)
 


Sat January 31, 2015
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
The psychology of pricing, or "Why $1.97 sounds like a must-have bargain compared to $2.00"
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(77)
 
(io9)
 
 
 
I say, that chap appears to be drowning. Quick, let's blow some smoke up his ass, that always helps
source: io9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(41)
 
(Orlando Weekly)
 
 
 
It's still illegal to be homeless and sleep on benches, even if you are The Messiah
source: orlandoweekly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(28)
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Then Jesus spake unto the leper, "Pre-existing condition, LOL"
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(91)
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Somebody definitely isn't winning Miss Congeniality
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(36)
 
(News On 6 Tulsa)
 
 
 
Family to coin guy: Hey, we've had this old nickel sitting in a closet for 40 years. Is it worth anything? Coin guy: I've had a $1million bounty on this for years. Family: We'll wait. Auction 10 year later: $3.25 million
source: newson6.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(46)
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
6 Down. No longer living ⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(49)
 
(KFGO Fargo)
 
 
 
This Zamboni DWI was brought to you by the city of Fargo
source: kfgo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(42)
 
(Croydon Advertiser)
 
 
 
Pedestrians wanting to go downtown in one British city have to pass a breathalyser first
source: croydonadvertiser.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(29)
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Photoshop this cardboard derby racer
source: imgick.pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(26)
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Woman gives birth to twins after being told she had no womb for them
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(38)
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Inside London's massive underground ghost hole that used to deliver mail, not the milkman to your mom
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(33)
 
(Independent)
 
 
 
Richard Dawkins has another trollin' idea. Except this one might just work
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(66)
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Make 14 false fire reports in an 8 month period including 6 in one month? That's $13,500 restitution and five years probation
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(17)
 
(Washington Times)
 
 
 
Even the Super Bowl Planning Committee had to take 'active shooter preparedness" training from the Department of Homeland Security
source: washingtontimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(45)
 
(Curbed)
 
 
 
The starter locations of fast-food chains in Southern California: see the original Fatburger, Panda Express, McD's and In-N-Out, as well as the quarantined property of the first Taco Bell (seriously, it's fenced)
source: la.curbed.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(41)
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
If you live in Edison, New Jersey and wonder why it's taking the city so long to plow your roads, here's the reason
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(23)
 
(The Interrobang)
 
 
 
News crew gets owned by Bill Cosby decoy
source: theinterrobang.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(41)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
"I seen him go and take out a proper hacksaw, like a wood saw... The blood shot up to the ceiling, up onto his glasses, all over the nurses...there was a burning pain, I knew I was going to die" (Article contains some graphic/disturbing content)
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(73)
 
(Vice)
 
 
 
If Subby could think up a brand name for this Megachurch pastors' elixir it would be called: Snake Oil
source: vice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(56)
 
(Dayton Daily News)
 
 
 
Ohioans can be proud that the Buckeyes won the football playoff. And that they lead the nation in insurance claims for metal thefts
source: daytondailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(14)
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
When a hangover becomes permanent and turns out to be a brain HAEMORRHAGE, maybe it's time to pour another one
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(7)
 
(Breitbart.com)
 
 
 
In 1492, Columbus sailed the ocean blue... to attack Muslims in Cuba
source: breitbart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(52)
 
(Tampa Bay Online)
 
 
 
Guy gets run over by an SUV, assaults assisting deputy, and tries to steal cruiser even after getting tased twice. And how was your night?
source: tbo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(13)
 
(The Root)
 
 
 
"What did he say?" "He said the waitress is near"
source: theroot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(146)
 
(KRON 4)
 
 
 
City reacts to high speed street racing crash by posting radar sign to flash "slow down" at street racers
source: kron4.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(26)
 
(Manchester Evening News)
 
 
 
Man facing a lifelong ban from Britain's Parklife festival after bragging on Facebook he was going to sell all dozen of his tickets to the 2015 festival at triple the price
source: manchestereveningnews.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(18)
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
Woman accused of stealing her stepmother's bag. Not everything can be a Cinderella story
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(9)
 
(WCNC Charlotte)
 
 
 
Police investigating the 9th death of an Appalachian State student this year. Officials advise everyone to remain calm, but call 9-1-1 immediately if any University of Michigan alumni are sighted in the area
source: wcnc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(36)
 
(ABC)
 
 
 
"Direct descendants of the Hatfields and McCoys are producing legal moonshine, the start of a new legacy for the families made famous for their 19th-century feud"
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(23)
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
The science of itching. This headline made you scratch
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(12)
 
(Sputnik News)
 
 
 
Photoshop this furniture move
source: cdn4.img.sputniknews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(18)
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
"Do you know why I pulled you over?" "Not really, I'm a cop so please explain?" *TIRE SQUEAL*
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(50)
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
There was a time when Republicans believed in equal rights for women and defending the Republic against fascism
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(84)
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
Woman gets fifteen years in prison for manslaughter after she decided to drink and drive, crashing into a poolside cabana and killing a pregnant woman in 2012. The woman, now pregnant, thought she would gain sympathy
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(46)
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
How the avocado went from an essential part of Mexican cooking to America's favorite fruit. Well, it's more like a vegetable; it's all just semantics, right?
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(34)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Shut down eve......aw, crap
source: edition.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(25)
 
(Sky.com)
 
 
 
Massive fire razes Russian library and archives in Moscow, burning tens of millions of irreplaceable documents. On the positive side, this will save Putin a LOT of time later
source: news.sky.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(24)
 
(ITV)
 
 
 
Dogs save factory worker's life after he falls into coma. Submitter wants a job where there is so little supervision that he can fall into a coma without anyone noticing
source: itv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(17)
 
(KTAR Phoenix)
 
 
 
The most popular food on Super Bowl Sunday is: A) Chicken wings B) Pizza C) Vegetables
source: ktar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(59)
 
(When On Earth)
 
 
 
The first time you visit Canada, brace yourself for milk in bags, moose alerts, and people who know the proper way to line up in public
source: whenonearth.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(138)
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
British police are threatening snowball throwers with ASBOs
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(75)
 
(AZCentral)
 
 
 
If you're going to take it upon yourself to be a border vigilante and march around the Arizona desert looking for illegals, make sure you don't pull a gun on an undercover sheriff deputy
source: azcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(59)
 
(Mansfield News Journal)
 
 
 
Looks like traffic was **puts on sunglasses** scrambled
source: mansfieldnewsjournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(11)
 
(MassLive)
 
 
 
Park in a space you didn't personally shovel out? Fall River Man will shoot ya up (fall river man, fall river man)
source: masslive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(57)
 
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
So, when did we stop "surfing"? Because nobody, and I mean nobody, still says they surf the internet
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(118)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Commando IS NOT AN OPTION
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(70)
 
(AL.com)
 
 
 
Alabama trucker reminder: If you suddenly need to pull out a tooth while driving, please use a designated rest area
source: al.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(9)
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Being poor is awfully expensive
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(186)
 
(Pierce Pioneer)
 
 
 
"The restaurant Guest Service Manager or Lovin' Lead will explain that McDonald's is doing something special that day, and the customer will be given the option to pay for his or her order with an act of Lovin' instead"
source: piercepioneer.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(85)
 
(Yahoo Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this amphibious assault
source: l.yimg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(18)
 
(Anchorage Daily News)
 
 
 
Alaska newspaper: "Are Americans now so clueless they have to be told to put on warm clothes before going out the in the cold?"
source: adn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(76)
 
(evesun.com)
 
 
 
Little Mews Rescue (a non profit, 501(c)3 no-kill rescue organization run by a couple of awesome farkers) has finally made the headlines, just time to hope they get some much needed help on Caturday
source: evesun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(628)
 
(Daily Freeman)
 
 
 
♪♫ Anti-vaxxers gave their precious snowflake his goodbyes / And put him on the Wolverine up to Annandale / Now there's measles and the loonies are quite surprised / To find him in a quarantine for their science fail ♪♫
source: dailyfreeman.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(195)
 
(Uproxx)
 
 
 
Now THIS is how you sell a used 2001 Honda Civic on Craigslist
source: uproxx.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(70)
 
(Duluth News Tribune)
 
 
 
Burglar breaks windows of liquor store to steal...Keystone? God, so many applicable tags
source: duluthnewstribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(40)
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
I'm not saying there are aliens in a spacecraft circling around this asteroid but there are aliens in a spacecraft circling around this asteroid
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(86)
 

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