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Sat August 30, 2014
Source     Fark Headline Comments
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
If an electric car and a bicycle had drunken sex together and spawned an offspring, it would be the Twike
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(6)
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Yogi: "Hey Boo-Boo, looks like Ranger Smith is taking a nap". Boo-Boo: "No Yogi, he's just passed out drunk"
source: blog.sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(8)
 
(Foodbeast)
 
 
 
Pizza Hut, in a desperate attempt to stay relevant, is now stuffing their crust with bacon and cheese
source: foodbeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(50)
 
(Fark)
 
Plug
 
Totalfark: It makes you feel like it's 72 degrees in your head. All the time
 
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Ten-year-old decides workman drilling outside building 80ft above the ground is making too much noise, cuts his harness
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(71)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
1. Issue traffic ticket to innocent drivers who will fight the cases. 2. List your buddy officer as a witness, even though he was not there. 3. Let him do it too. 4. Wait for prosecutors to subpoena you both to trials. 5. Voila! Overtime profit
source: madworldnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(29)
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
The 75th Annual DragonCon Fark Party - Saturday, August 30, 1pm at Big Kahuna, Atlanta, GA
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(92)
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Cricket star spared from driving ban due to hardship since he needs to drive a fish & chips van around Northern Ireland for a TV show. Apparently they think driving a cooking fat powered fish & chips van around Northern Ireland is punishment enough
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(14)
 


Fri August 29, 2014
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Fingerprints on Legos help police solve a two-decade cold case
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(43)
 
(Mpora)
 
 
 
Six of the weirdest ways to stop your bike getting stolen include guard dogs, bendy frames and replacing the seat with a dildo (pics)
source: mpora.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(46)
 
(LA Daily News)
 
 
 
Killed a cyclist while driving and texting? That's manslaughter - unless you're a cop, then it's completely legal
source: dailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(97)
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
During the War of 1812, the British stole a painting of King George III from Washington but we stole a painted wooden lion from Toronto, so it was a bit of a wash
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(21)
 
(Salon)
 
 
 
Is it possible to overdose on coffee? Here comes the decaffeinated science
source: salon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(39)
 
(KCTV5 Kansas City)
 
 
 
One does not simply walk into Prescott, and pee on a Bible
source: kctv5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(29)
 
(NBC 2 Fort Myers)
 
 
 
Coming soon to Florida restaurant menus: Manatee
source: nbc-2.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(37)
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Leader of the Christian homeschooling movement thinks that the Duggars and other adherents of the "Christian patriarchy" and "Quiverfull" movements are "truly dangerous" religious extremists". The Pot also had some choice words for the Kettle
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(157)
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
Robber jumps from hotel window while fleeing from police, winds up on USC injury report
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(16)
 
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
Mayor orders man removed after not standing for Pledge of Allegiance. So much for freedom of choice
source: orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(199)
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Photoshop this Papal Blessing
source: media3.s-nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(18)
 
(Anchorage Daily News)
 
 
 
"I would like to thank you for solving a 10-year family mystery as to who stole the hot dog"
source: adn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(29)
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Police force's longest serving dog set to retire. With pic of dog that, frankly, does not look very long
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(23)
 
(Omaha World Herald)
 
 
 
Nebraska Cornshucker coach calls marijuana use "out of control". OUT OF CONTROL
source: omaha.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(65)
 
(Time)
 
 
 
Letting your kids play with uzis is a wholesome activity, but letting them walk to the playground by themselves will get them taken away by the state, you negligent monster
source: time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(76)
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Still don't believe that vaccines cause autism? What if I told you that Rob Schneider's secret letters to the CDC just became public, what then?
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(151)
 
(Alice 97.3 San Francisco)
 
 
 
Your gross-out for the day ... a box of giant millipedes found at airport
source: radioalice.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(37)
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Mailman calls cops on three meth cooks fending off imaginary home invaders with real firearms, a toilet, and a sink
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(23)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Hospitals in England advised to provide better meals, such as fish and tap water. Warning: contains pictures of actual hospital food
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(50)
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Chelsea Clinton leaving her job doing, um, something at NBC News
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(70)
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
UK formally raises the terror alert level from "ere' wot's all this then?" to "oh bloody hell"
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(45)
 
(KHOU Houston)
 
 
 
You're kind of a dick if you do the ice bucket challenge on your unsuspecting 10-month-old granddaughter
source: khou.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(46)
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
It's always thoughtful to walk someone's dog when they're not able to do so, especially if that's because you just murdered them and set their corpse on fire
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(14)
 
(Cleveland Plain Dealer)
 
 
 
Couple busted for stealing sex toys from Walmart. Sex toys. Walmart. Let those images marinate in your mind for a bit
source: cleveland.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(115)
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Privileged white guys on Fox News agree that there's no such thing as white privilege
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(325)
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
Officer who told people in Ferguson he would "farking kill" them and to "go fark yourself" is now out of a farking job
source: gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(145)
 
(Latin American Herald Times)
 
 
 
Latin America, to California and Texas: "You think that's a drought? I'LL SHOW YOU A DROUGHT"
source: laht.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(23)
 
(Contemporist)
 
 
 
Photoshop finefood
source: contemporist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(26)
 
(Newser)
 
 
 
CEO of a stadium concessions company who was caught on tape repeatedly kicking a puppy in an elevator is writing a $100K check to an abused animal fund. So, like, it's all good now and you can go back to buying his $12 beers, okay?
source: newser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(122)
 
(News 3 Las Vegas)
 
 
 
Cliven Bundy's son continues his family's fight against tyranny by pulling all five of his children from local public schools because the tyrannical bureaucrats who run them had the temerity to say his kids couldn't carry knives at school
source: mynews3.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(178)
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
It's a lovely Friday, you're still (mostly) sober, and you're dreaming about the weekend. Must be time for the Fark Weird News Quiz
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(21)
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
ISIS may have learned a thing or two from the CIA. Thanks guys
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(80)
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Pennsylvania woman calls police about streetlight. Responding officer confirms she was indeed seeing a streetlight
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(16)
 
(When On Earth)
 
 
 
There's a reason why only a handful of people have ever stepped foot on Brazil's Snake Island
source: whenonearth.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(65)
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Today's forecast calls for a mostly sunny morning followed by swarms of locusts
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(8)
 
(Huddersfield Examiner)
 
 
 
Tomorrow is World Bacon Day, and every bacon sammich you eat takes one hour off your life. Fortunately, all those hours come off the end, so eat up
source: examiner.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(48)
 
(The Week UK)
 
 
 
So Canada was all like 'Hey Russia, you suck' and then Russia was all like 'No YOU suck, Canada.' Then it was all, like, world war three
source: theweek.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(108)
 
(The Awl)
 
 
 
Planning on skewering some vegetables for the grill this weekend? You're doing it wrong
source: theawl.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(63)
 
(WUSA9)
 
 
 
No school today at Richard Henry Lee Elementary due to cat
source: wusa9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(37)
 
(Oregon Live)
 
 
 
It starts off as a suburban development, then: "The company dug a test pit and found that after a half century or more underground, the animal remains have formed a gelatinous goo under a thick layer of dirt, Wand said"
source: oregonlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(58)
 
(Central Somerset Gazette)
 
 
 
British justice shows its teeth by allowing the Moriarty of bicycle thefts to skip curfew so he can walk his dog and go on holiday and stuff
source: centralsomersetgazette.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(21)
 
(International Business Times)
 
 
 
In today's 'news we should be terrified about': Isis planned to release the bubonic plague on everyone
source: ibtimes.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(104)
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
Fun: Family day at your parent's job. AWESOME: Your parent works on an aircraft carrier, and you get to see F/A-18s break the sound barrier (pics)
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(61)
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
If Farkers were prairie dogs
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(24)
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Coalition calls for porn production to halt in the wake of a pornstar being diagnosed with HIV. Pornstars still performing are encouraged to either take precautions or beat it
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(82)
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
International flights being diverted because of a volcanic eruption in PNG. Status of JPG uncertain
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(29)
 
(NBC4i)
 
 
 
Ohio State University marching band denied licenses to play popular music at halftime due to "sexualized culture"
source: nbc4i.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(72)
 
(Austin News KXAN)
 
 
 
Come shop at Goodwill for great prices on used golf clubs, women's shoes, human skulls
source: kxan.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(17)
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
Remember the old man angry about neighbor kid's lemonade stand? Life has handed him some lemons since then
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(95)
 
(ABC)
 
 
 
Airlines wonder why passengers are so upset after long delays, lost luggage, and legroom fit only for quadruple amputees
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(115)
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Chilean Navy sailor announces he likes Seamen
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(20)
 
(ProPublica)
 
 
 
Reporter: So why's my son's medicine $15 sometimes and $30 other times? CVS: Beats us, ask the insurance company. Insurance company: Farked if we know. Federal government, throwing 30,000 pages of regulations on the table: Oh hai - we gots this
source: propublica.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(93)
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
Police: Our officer was not accidentally shot by his partner when he killed a check forger in a bank drive thru. Court documents, hospital records, radio calls: "I've been shot"
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(50)
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Stripper: "Sorry police I have to go to work in order to feed my daughter, I don't have time to find her. I can't talk anymore"
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(70)
 
(Bay News 9)
 
 
 
Deputy re-enacts popular scene from Raiders of the Lost Ark
source: baynews9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(70)
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
Parking violator crushes officer's hand while trying to dodge the boot. Bystanders say they haven't seen such egregious boot dodging since a young American child made a fool of Australia's Prime Minister
source: blog.seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(53)
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Missouri duo takes selfie with friend's corpse, say they want credit for creating the 'Deadie'
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(97)
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Okay, so Walking While Black is no good, and Driving While Black is right out. How about just sitting? Is Sitting While Bla- BZZZZZZT
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(491)
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
ISIS is supposedly threatening to kill the Pope, forgetting that the last time Catholics got pissed at Muslims it pretty much sucked for everybody
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(188)
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
Ferguson police sued for $40M for violating citizens' civil rights, or, to put it in terms they understand, the cost of about 60 new mine-resistant armored vehicles
source: gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(188)
 
(Tumblr)
 
 
 
Photoshop this dynamic duo
source: 40.media.tumblr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(13)
 
(The Daily Meal)
 
 
 
Connecticut dethrones NYC for the best pizza in America. A white clam pie? Yes, give pizza chance
source: thedailymeal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(152)
 
(Atlanta Journal Constitution)
 
 
 
Cop wanted on murder, arson, and kidnapping charges 'relieved from duty,' according to his Bad Lieutenant
source: ajc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(44)
 
(Uproxx)
 
 
 
Subby has never seen "The Notebook," but I'm sure as hell that it wouldn't inspire me to have sex with my half sister after watching it. In a parking lot. For the third time
source: uproxx.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(180)
 
(Foodbeast)
 
 
 
Oh, what's that? You're drinking a Pumpkin Spice Latte from Starbucks? Well, I'm drinking a Pumpkin Crème Brûlée Latte from Dunkin' Donuts
source: foodbeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(93)
 
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
Mother arrested for child neglect after a teacher asked the smelliest boy in the classroom when he last took a bath and his response was "I don't remember"
source: orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(113)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Owner of world's largest turban claims it weighs 100lb and measures 2,115ft when unwrapped. Sounds like a real pain in the neck
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(44)
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Need an extra $1,000 a month? All you need to do is pick up the corpses of Ebola victims
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(51)
 

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