Drew Curtis' FARK.com

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Mon August 22, 2016

Source	Fark Headline		Comments
		Fark NotNewsletter: Two nerdy anniversaries source: fark.com \| share:	18
		Not everyone has the misfortune of breaking his penis three times source: alternet.org \| share:	6
		You know who loves a flooded Louisiana? Alligators, that's who source: latimes.com \| share:	9

		And yet another reason to never use a public drinking fountain source: gothamist.com \| share:	10
		Not news: man has issues with roommates. Still not news: man vents on Twitter about killing his roommates. I think you know where this is going source: slate.com \| share:	11
		The poorest towns in every state. Come see where yours stacks up source: 247wallst.com \| share:	89
		Senior citizen concert interrupted by brake dancing source: cleveland.com \| share:	9
		Having your mugshot posted after you get arrested for a DUI can be embarrassing. But not as embarrassing as having your mugshot published after you get arrested for a DUI wearing ribbons in your beard, pink mesh hose, a skirt and locked chastity belt source: huffingtonpost.com \| share:	26

		Typhoon No. 9 wreaks havoc in Kanto with winds up to 180 kph, is expected to hit Fukushima tonight. Number Nine. Number Nine. Number Nine source: asahi.com \| share:	24
		Man escapes from Manatee deputies. This is why other states use dogs source: wtsp.com \| share:	29
		Italian food purists rage over America's 'white Bolognese' and demand people stop calling it Italian. We'd better do what they say, or they may stop sending us cans of Chef Boyardee source: thelocal.it \| share:	66
		Police are searching for a relic, hat was stolen from a San Francisco church: a piece of wood dated to 325 AD that is believed to be part of the "true cross" t. 325 AD? Either it ain't the real thing or Jesus was a LOT older than the Gospels claim source: abcnews.go.com \| share:	56
		Soon, you too may be able to have a faithful reconstruction of a book no one can read source: thelocal.es \| share:	30
		The next time you smell Kentucky Fried Chicken on the beach, there's a good chance it's the person next to you lathered up with KFC fried chicken-scented sunscreen source: chewboom.com \| share:	47
		Ontario town finally changes official slogan from "Land of rape and honey". Will now be known as "Land of rape, honey, arson and rape" source: torontosun.com \| share:	59
		Everything's totally fine, citizens of Germany. Really. We swear source: newser.com \| share:	29
		A chunk of real estate roughly the size of Scotland is about to disappear source: thestar.com \| share:	28
		Man finds someone to spend the rest of his life with on dating site, mostly because she killed him after the first date source: mynews13.com \| share:	56
		Young woman works diligently on her frequently rescued punch card while on holiday in Cornwall source: bbc.com \| share:	31
		Photoshop Theme: Never too old to rock and roll source: fark.com \| share:	16
		Iran not amused by Russia using their country for photo-ops for the bombing of Syria, kick Russian warplanes out of the country source: bbc.com \| share:	23
		Cat burglar lives up to his name source: theage.com.au \| share:	15
		Geraldo did not see that coming source: reuters.com \| share:	28
		Common causes of stomach aches: Ingesting a fifth of Wild Turkey, pan of brownies, or, say, 40 knives source: newser.com \| share:	12
		Man huffs stolen aerosol computer duster, immediately crashes into Walmart. 'MURICA source: kcci.com \| share:	51
		Just be glad he's not dressed as a schoolgirl source: bbc.com \| share:	56
		For sale: 1970 Plymouth Superbird, originally owned by the EPA. Automatic swapped out for manual transmission so it could test jet emissions at 140 mph source: roadandtrack.com \| share:	89
		Honestly who goes on a child killing spree at a school using crocodiles? source: mashable.com \| share:	35
		Ramen Noodles are quickly replacing tobacco as currency in the prison yards source: theguardian.com \| share:	96
		Remains of Civil War veteran finally transported home after he died in 1922 with no family to claim him. "The Patriot Guard Riders have essentially set up a modern-day pony express to get him from Oregon back to Maine" source: wcvb.com \| share:	71
		Canada sets up refugee camp to handle massive influx of refugees from... Michigan? source: freep.com \| share:	72
		If you clean up 500,000 cigarette butts from your city's streets, they'll just give you the nickname 'The Butt Lady of Auburn' source: fox40.com \| share:	36
		Can you actually say to an entire country, "Stop being d***s"? source: nzherald.co.nz \| share:	43
		Father and son were playing catch on the shoulder of a busy highway as they were waiting for a tow truck and the ball landed on the road. Since this is Fark, you can guess what happens next source: recordonline.com \| share:	61
		American journalism is dead, as written by someone from the New York Post source: nypost.com \| share:	58
		"First we build a wall...a wall of pigs heads..." "Shut up, Sir Bedevere" source: thesun.co.uk \| share:	38
		Fark Store Daily Deal: iOS Game Development - word and math games, arcade classics, sports games, and action games. Instructor Yohann Taieb - LinkedIn says he's currently working with CBS Interactive on Fantasy Football apps. (Sponsored Link) source: deals.fark.com \| share:	2
		Finally, Omaha public schools are tackling the biggest issue surrounding high school: showering. The system is installing private stalls and getting rid of the archaic, embarrassing open shower system. Hopefully this becomes a nationwide change source: omaha.com \| share:	158
		George Lucas' second career as a wedding photographer, a pane in Dakota Johnson's ass, and Lebron James considers owning another NBA team besides the Golden State Warriors: some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 8/14 - 8/20 source: fark.com \| share:	5
		Memo to gun owners, don't put your spare bullets in the car charger. Oh, and responsible gun owners don't let their toddlers play with bullets source: insideedition.com \| share:	178
		Olympics cause a surge in the baby name "Simone". In other news, the name "Ryan" has plummeted out of the top 500 faster than Usain Bolt running the 100 meter source: nbcolympics.com \| share:	67
		Mortal Wombat source: theguardian.com \| share:	57
		People who parrot their child's baby talk back at them are doing a disservice to linguistic development source: slate.com \| share:	109
		Boy band devastated after dream holiday cancelled in error source: mirror.co.uk \| share:	56
		Bingo hall with 100 guns, body armor and $87,000 in cash. It's the Texas way source: khou.com \| share:	53
		Protip: If you're trying to stop your drunk friend from driving home, don't lay down in front of her BMW--she'll just treat you like a speed bump source: fox5sandiego.com \| share:	56
		Photoshop this speedy cyclist source: c1.staticflickr.com \| share:	10
		The life of everyone in this thread depends upon just one thing: finding someone who can not only say something clever, but who didn't have scallops for dinner source: cnn.com \| share:	80
		I predict that America will be plunged into universal darkness, with wailing and gnashing of teeth in 2017. Or, as the fact-based community will call it, the Great American Eclipse will be visible across the entire USA, the first big show since 1979 source: csmonitor.com \| share:	109
		Seven-year-old who has had "several warnings" is now in trouble for: a) talking in class, b) bringing a gun to school, or c) writing her name in cursive source: popsugar.com \| share:	203
		Bad: Crashing your truck into the ER entrance to get emergency treatment for your friend. Worse: you're so high on meth you hadn't realized the friend had already been dead for more than a day source: perthnow.com.au \| share:	41
		"Hello, 911? Yeah, I'm 15, and my parents took me to a cottage for a family vacation. Help? Pardon? What are 'first world problems'?" source: cbc.ca \| share:	70
		Just because you're a free-climber doesn't mean you have to go water-free and phone-free. You never know when you might get stuck in a crevasse for two hours source: azfamily.com \| share:	34
		For those of you who love unplugging and getting back to nature in the great outdoors but still need your plate of prime rib and martini in the evening, here are some of the five-star restaurants found in our National Parks source: mnn.com \| share:	44
		Recent upsurge in kids having sex and taking drugs in UK park is blamed on... (activates current trend generator)... Pokestops source: kentonline.co.uk \| share:	82

Sun August 21, 2016

	People no longer want to live next to water-sucking, space-hogging, window-shattering golf courses like they did twenty years ago source: azcentral.com \| share:	142
	I have no idea what a Jandal is but stay away from cliffs source: nzherald.co.nz \| share:	92
(Some Guy)	Update from Farker Vicejay whose New Orleans-area food bank has been doing disaster response for the last week across Louisiana. DIT, link goes to donation page source: no-hunger.org \| share:	31
	Good source: bbc.com \| share:	56
(Some Guy)	Photoshop this mind reader source: oy-li.ru \| share:	19
	Where will legal weed be in five years? "By 2020, the legal cannabis market could be bigger than the National Football League. The NFL took in about $12 billion of revenue last year" source: marijuanatimes.org \| share:	134
	Reporter goes on a week-long cruise for conspiracy theorists. "I feared they were tracking me around the ship, waiting to spring out from blind corners and empty doorways" source: popularmechanics.com \| share:	123
	Criminal on the lam since April brought to justice after cops perform a real-life Scooby-Doo cartoon plot finale (pics) source: washingtonpost.com \| share:	54
	You may want to avoid Crosshaven, Ireland this week if you're gingerphobic source: cbs5az.com \| share:	104
	D.A. Henderson, who led the successful global effort to eradicate smallpox, falls victim to the 2016 plague source: yahoo.com \| share:	54
	This day in 1959, Hawaii becomes the 50th state, once again screwing up the star arrangement on the American flag source: history.com \| share:	128
	Photoshop what this dog is looking at source: c1.staticflickr.com \| share:	17
	Mongolian beef source: usatoday.com \| share:	51
	It has not been a good month for amusement parks source: kiro7.com \| share:	46
	Two men fined $110 and $440 for illegal lawn mowing. And $37M for the forest fire it caused. Do you take Visa? source: oregonlive.com \| share:	113
	Not to be outdone by Australia, Maine is reporting a ten-foot snake on the loose. Complete with "holy fark" picture of the shed skin it left behind source: bangordailynews.com \| share:	75
(Some Pipecleaner)	CSB Sunday Morning: It's a major award source: rermag.com \| share:	192
	Photoshop theme - something you didn't notice in a famous movie scene before source: fark.com \| share:	51
	Burglars break into iconic Brady home; police say current resident scared them off. Probably with a machete, if he hadn't had a Snickers lately source: newser.com \| share:	45

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