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Fri June 23, 2017
Source     Fark Headline Comments
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
Butt who's the graffiti artist who's behind all these ass drawings popping up all over town?
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 40 Sacramento)
 
 
 
Oroville dam now hit with lamprey invasion 'the Stuff Nightmares Are Made of'
source: fox40.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTAE)
 
 
 
We have your dog's ashes here to pick up. They're kinda big. Do you have a cooler?
source: wtae.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WBUR Boston)
 
 
 
There should be a special place in hell for this guy. But a $120 million fine is not bad
source: wbur.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Smirk)
 
 
 
Caption this deep thinker
source: chongzhong.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AOL)
 
 
 
Nearly half of Americans personally know someone who's been shot
source: aol.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
Video
 
I have no idea what you're talking about, so here's a cool video of a gorilla splish splashing spinning in a kiddie pool
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Those 700 jobs Trump "saved" at +++CARRIER LOST+++
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
For a guy his lawyers plan to portray as a "boy genius", Martin Shkrelli is kinda dumb: " learning that federal prosecutors had opened an investigation, he volunteered to meet them- without a lawyer. After agents arrested him, he continued to talk"
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Al Jazeera)
 
 
 
"#14: You must hand deliver a fruit basket to the King of Saudi Arabia each Ramadan. #15: You must renounce NASCAR and declare your loyalty to Formula One. #16: You must cut down the largest tree in Jordan with a herring"
source: aljazeera.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this abstract piece of ... art?
source: d6d2h4gfvy8t8.cloudfront.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Bay Area Fark Party - Oakland Beer Trail. Saturday, June 24, starting at Noon PT (probably ending with Sunday Brunch)
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Calgary Herald)
 
 
 
Your most Canadian headline of the day: "Police advise Calgarians not to take selfies with moose on the loose"
source: calgaryherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Arkansas Online)
 
 
 
There comes a time in every young Arkansan man's life when his babysitter looks at him and asks if he's ready to lose his virginity
source: arkansasonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Setec Astronomy
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
2016 video of an officer pulling a car over and beating the shiat out of the driver before ripping him out of his seat. Bonus: video catches another officer turning off the audio mid-beating. Bonus 2: No charges have been filed against the officers
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Beware the squirrels with ballsacks
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Komo)
 
 
 
Can't get nachos prepared the way you like them? That's a stabbing
source: komonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
Back in my day, we used nuclear radiation to produce really big plants in our atomic gardens
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Advocate)
 
 
 
There are no lesbian bars in Los Angeles anymore. So much for the gay agenda
source: advocate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Washington)
 
 
 
If you lost your car in the Potomac River sometime this morning, police would really like to talk to you. Unless, you know, you died. In which case, sorry, dude
source: nbcwashington.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Thu June 22, 2017
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
I can only assume you are trying to enforce either Commando Mondays or Cardio Workout Thursdays
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Time)
 
 
 
Justin Trudeau joins Gary's Hug Club, which we are told is a CBSkids show and not that bar out past the county line
source: time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
"This is the first time that we are aware, that a black professional, in law enforcement, himself being shot and treated as an ordinary black guy on the street. This is a real problem"
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Fat, drunk, and calling the cops on the Queen of England is no way to go through life, son
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Philly.com)
 
 
 
This is why you don't buy children on an installment plan
source: philly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Deltona Deputies are seeking your help in identifying the Scumbag of the Week
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTLA Los Angeles)
 
 
 
And now another installment of California Freeway Pinball, sponsored by Road Rage™
source: ktla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
You no longer have to have a gender in Washington, D.C., as anyone who's looked for balls on a U.S. Congressman has known for years
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
If you thought your bus driver in Paris had unusually hairy legs the other day, this might be the reason
source: thelocal.fr   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
Video
 
You might think a 43-minute lecture from 1979 on how lawyers should do cross-examination would be dull and boring. But you'd be wrong
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WMUR New Hampshire)
 
 
 
A baby fell out of the window. You'd think that he would have gone POW. But good luck was with him that morning. He fell on his handy stuffed cow
source: wmur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Boys at stuffy British school told dress code forbids shorts, and if it's too hot they can wear skirts like the girls. Boys: challenge accepted
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Beware of 6.8 California earthquake that happened in 1925 says humorous joke-playing computer to numerous news organizations across the land. Skynet's a real prankster
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Christian Science Monitor)
 
 
 
Iraqi-American Christians can't fathom why they're being deported. "I voted for Trump, I don't think he's a bad guy"
source: csmonitor.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KIRO-7 Seattle)
 
 
 
Military planes are designed with the threat of small arms fire in mind, but that doesn't mean you're allowed to shoot at them
source: kiro7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSTU FOX 13)
 
 
 
"The Utah State Legislature is taking a sober look at the end of 3.2 beer"
source: fox13now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
"I can keep you safe." Gut-wrenching video of toddler trying to comfort her mother moments after Philando Castile shooting
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Police bust golf cart chop shop, because if you're going to start a crime ring, you might as well start small and stupid
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Electric guitar sales have gotten bad - really, really bad
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Dallas/Ft. Worth)
 
 
 
Cop who shot and killed 15-year-old Jordan Edwards now faces assault charges for pulling his gun on a fellow driver
source: dfw.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Voice of America)
 
 
 
Photoshop this crazy jumper
source: gdb.voanews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Orange County Register)
 
 
 
Man discovers that getting his 10th DUI doesn't result in a card for a free drink. Also, damn, that's a hard 6 years
source: ocregister.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Today's mantra for meditation: "Glug, glug, glug"
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Fitzgerald sailors may have been forced to seal watertight doors -- along with the fates of several trapped sailors -- to save the ship
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(International Business Times)
 
 
 
Tennis legend's '5 second' romp with model in a hotel cost him $25m. You don't even want to think about the hourly rate
source: ibtimes.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buzzfeed)
 
 
 
All these dogs are good dogs. All these photographs are award winning photographs
source: buzzfeed.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Flower Child)
 
 
 
Pro tip - Wait for the LSD to wear off before listing your house for sale
source: forsalebyowner.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Drive)
 
 
 
The cost estimates for restarting F-22 production are finally here, and just like the F-22, you can't see them
source: thedrive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSVN Miami)
 
 
 
11-year-old boy goes missing. Police and news crews fan out with the local TV station news helicopter, only to find that he's a fan of The Drifters
source: wsvn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Half human, half sheep, all Nope
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TMZ)
 
 
 
Bill Cosby to host seminars on sexual assault. Cocktails to follow
source: tmz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 5 Atlanta)
 
 
 
Oh sure, a 7 year old boy who can't even hit the toilet bowl somehow manages to urinate on his neighbor's grill from the roof of his house, ruining his steaks
source: fox5atlanta.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Food Nut)
 
 
 
Fark Food Thread: Which refreshing drinks do you reach for when trying to beat the heat? List to the left has tasty suggestions that are alcohol free so you can add whatevdafuq you like. Let's face it. No one tells Farkers the right booze to drink
source: minq.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WMUR New Hampshire)
 
 
 
Just a friendly reminder that heroin and meth are not medically approved substitutes for epidurals when giving birth
source: wmur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Springfield News-Sun)
 
 
 
88-year-old man tells police 1-eyed woman stole his wallet after oral sex
source: springfieldnewssun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 13 Orlando)
 
 
 
Sanford rabbi, accused of impregnating teen, to face judge. Man, I don't remember that sitcom being this edgy
source: mynews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
How to make a small fortune in the daycare business? Real life: Start with a large fortune. Fark: Sell cocaine
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Expired Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this smart parking meter
source: thecityofnewbrunswick.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
Injecting your baby mama with cyanide in her driveway in front of a surveillance camera is no way to settle a custody dispute
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(National Geographic)
 
 
 
Get bitten by a tick? Well looks like you won't be eating any delicious meat anymore. SPOON
source: news.nationalgeographic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
In Oklahoma the law prohibits sex offenders from living near schools or public grounds, but it does not stop convicts from living next door to their victims. Read. That. Again. very. Slowly
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bangor Daily News)
 
 
 
PI man who died in shootout fell in with wrong crowd, according to sister who thinks a single Bengal tiger constitutes a "crowd"
source: bangordailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KIRO-7 Seattle)
 
 
 
Hell hath no fury like a woman shorted of one chicken nugget
source: kiro7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TC Palm)
 
 
 
Woman in bikini contest in high heels and you already clicked the link
source: tcpalm.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Italian airport has formal bribe system to bypass security but only for pesto. Way to shake off stereotypes Italy
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Rolling Stone)
 
 
 
Rolling Stone's list of the 100 greatest metal albums of all time is ... actually pretty damn spot-on. Way to go, guys
source: rollingstone.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
Swimmers warned over aggressive beaver
source: thelocal.ch   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TwinCities.com)
 
 
 
Highway department installs massive zipper to open and close traffic lanes, threaten wienermobiles
source: twincities.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 96.5 Florida)
 
 
 
Some fan just stopped traffic to take a selfie with Dwayne Johnson...and The Rock was as awesome as ever
source: news965.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Child Thinking Guy)
 
 
 
"Toy Safety" group yet again breathlessly reports that everything in the world will kill your children
source: toysafety.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Blabbermouth)
 
 
 
Gene Simmons abandons trademark application for 'Devil Horns' gesture, even though KISS invented devil horns, trademarks, and applications among nearly everything else
source: blabbermouth.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
An inside look at the secret government bunkers that will keep Donald Trump alive while you perish in the Armageddon he unleashes upon the world
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 13 Orlando)
 
 
 
Florida police department looking to the internet for names for their new K-9 dogs. I'm sure we can come up with a few ideas here
source: mynews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Full text of Senate GOP healthcare/population control bill released
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFSB Connecticut)
 
 
 
Screaming man chases brazen thief and pins him down until police arrive. The 5-year-old thief is released on his own recognizance, but the man will be spending time in State Daycare
source: wfsb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kitchener Record)
 
 
 
1 in 10 Canadians admit to having sex in a canoe - which is substantially more to those who admit to enjoying 'merikun beer
source: therecord.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
The U.S. Army spent tens of millions of dollars buying the most expensive camouflage for the Afghan Army. Go ahead and guess what the problem is
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Residents of luxury apartments being used to rehome Grenfell Tower survivors try to express their objections without sounding like elitist, poor-hating asshats, with varying degrees of success
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
French Instagram fitness model killed in whipped cream mishap
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Flickr)
 
 
 
Photoshop this field of view
source: c1.staticflickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
Columnist believes Illinois should be divided up and given to neighboring states. Unlikely tag is for Wisconsin wanting to take possession of Chicago, its sports fans and its drivers
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Globe and Mail)
 
 
 
Canadian soldier sets new world record with a successful sniper shot at 2.1 miles. Proud Canadian army considers authorizing purchase of a second gun in celebration
source: beta.theglobeandmail.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
Four Greenlanders washed out to sea in freak tsunami
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Car burglar doesn't exactly get caught with his pants down...but that oughta hurt
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Week)
 
 
 
Chuck E. Cheese: The Best Bar in America
source: theweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Your doggo wants to know who's a good pupper
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Global News (Canada))
 
 
 
Bad: fentanyl overdoses are climbing in Canada. Fark: a quarter of all donated organs in BC came OD victims
source: globalnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Livingston Daily)
 
 
 
Home Depot sued for lying about the size of its wood. Men everywhere wait nervously for verdict
source: livingstondaily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Doritos' new "Spicy Loco Hit and Run" flavor not a fan with police, Doritos truck drivers
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
White Privilege Club Member Uses BMW Trying to Run Over Health Care Protesters Staging Die-In. Fark: On BMW Donorcycle
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LiveLeak)
 
Video
 
Things I would not put in my mouth for 500, Alex
source: liveleak.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 633: "Noir 2: Prints of Darkness". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
source: farktography.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 

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