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Thu June 29, 2017
Source     Fark Headline Comments
(Some Jihadist)
 
 
 
When you're at an ISIS party and the honoree says "hold my beer and watch this", just turn and run like hell
source: tribunist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
New apartment building was going to have fire alarms and sprinklers inspected Thursday. So guess what happened Wednesday
source: bostonglobe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Worker who considered employer's biometric hand scanner to be the "Mark Of the Beast" prevails in federal court
source: todaysgeneralcounsel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(National Park Service)
 
 
 
Yellowstone bison have the right-of-way, they don't care about your vacation photos
source: nps.gov   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
Trader Joe's now makes canned wine
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 43 Pennsylvania)
 
 
 
Actual headline: Accused thief hits 18 unlocked vehicles in Lititz, makes off with (among other things) Tic Tacs, dog treats and wet wipes
source: fox43.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gannett Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop what these betting Brits are wagering on
source: gannett-cdn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
Your dog wants a treadmill
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
You can have a blast in a college dorm, but it should involve alcohol not natural gas
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Eureka Times-Standard)
 
 
 
By the year 2026, America will have reached peak empire
source: times-standard.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bangor Daily News)
 
 
 
Maine will rebuild after getting struck by four earthquakes in a week
source: bangordailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(From the Grapevine)
 
 
 
Working from home is great. Until the day you realize you haven't had outside human contact in five weeks
source: fromthegrapevine.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
What better place to get creepy advice about sex than your own parents
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Strangers buy a car, one years' insurance, $500 gas card, and two years of oil changes for man who walks 3 miles to his job in Texas heat
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(10 News)
 
 
 
Miner's Loop, one of San Diego's popular trails, is temporarily closed due to higher than normal arsenic levels [Obvious] The trail got its name from an old arsenic mine
source: 10news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Timmy's to serve up a poutine doughnut for Canada's 150th birthday. That's it, I'm turning the car around
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oregon Live)
 
 
 
Keep Portland Wired
source: oregonlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
"Auntie Em, Auntie Em... IT'S NOT MUCH OF A TWISTER, IT'S NOT MUCH OF A TWISTER"
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tacoma News Tribune)
 
 
 
Finally - an Internet Troll we can ALL root for
source: thenewstribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
Cardinal Sin
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Time)
 
 
 
If you stole a street sweeper and took it for a joy ride in Paterson, NJ, I would like to buy you a beer
source: time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
Thunderstorm commits war crime against Florida
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
So it takes Walmart employees three days to check the bathroom?
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KXLH Helena)
 
 
 
After five years, police still haven't been able to connect legs near Butte to anyone. Who's the police chief there, Dr. Frankenstein?
source: kxlh.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
If you jump off your balcony wearing a parachute you bought off the internet, there is no doubt you will be what you deserve
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Eugene H Krabs opens a new location at the airport baggage claim
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 634: "Airborne 2". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
source: farktography.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Wed June 28, 2017
(UPI)
 
 
 
The most Australian video you'll see today
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(International Business Times)
 
 
 
Murder suspects disappear from crime scene but their Snapchat conversation does not
source: ibtimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSAZ West Virginia)
 
Video
 
Suspicious 'meat man' reported in South Point, Ohio. In other news, Tesco Vee is reported to have escaped from Washington, DC
source: wsaz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Samsung to sell refurbished Note 7s with a new name, the "Fandom Edition." Subby would have gone with the "Phoenix"
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Connecticut Post)
 
 
 
Meeting prostitutes from backpage.com at the local motel is no way to go through life, Mr. Ethics Board Commissioner
source: ctpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fairfield Citizen)
 
 
 
If someone gives you your own counterfeit bills as a refund, perhaps it's better to keep quiet about it
source: fairfieldcitizenonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Age (Melbourne))
 
 
 
All's fair in love and war and the bouncy castle business
source: theage.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Author of new book wants us to stop sensationalizing the Donna Reed Party, because vacuuming in high heels and pearls was hard enough without all the cannibalism jokes
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Philippines to make enthusiastic singing of national anthem mandatory; just humming along will not be fine. Well, it will be A fine, anyway
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this hero
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Here are photos of opium dens in the U.S. from the 1890s, which led to the start of The War on Drugs with the 1909 Smoking Opium Exclusion Act
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS New York)
 
 
 
Waitress saves 9-year-old girl choking on chicken fingers with Heimlich maneuver. How does one calculate 15% on that service?
source: newyork.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Man charged with breaking all ten commandments in a single act
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kingsport Times News)
 
 
 
Step 1. Recover dropped diamond ring. Step 2. Stash diamond ring in rectum. Step 3. profit. Unplanned step 4. Arrested. Ring returned to owner
source: timesnews.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Woman gives birth on Spirit Airlines flight, immediately charged $50 for an extra carry-on item
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
See a penny, pick it up, all day long you'll have good luck. Throw a coin into a jet, people will call you a goddamn idiot
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
As some of you know, another Fette has gone Beyond Fark. R.I.P. RockyMom
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Bright Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop these old fashioned incandescent light bulbs
source: homedepot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(I Heart Radio)
 
 
 
The #1 zoo in the world is asking the public to name its newest addition, a baby seal. Surprisingly, Club has yet to make the list
source: wolfradio933.iheart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Just when you thought that state fair food couldn't get any more ridiculous; behold deep fried chewing gum
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Pennsylvania couple arrested for turning a park into a foreplayground
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
"A good writer possesses not only his own spirit but also the spirit of his friends." ― Friedrich Nietzsche. Huh, what's the going rate on phylacteries these days? This is your Fark Writer's Thread
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox9 Minneapolis)
 
 
 
+1 Darwin
source: fox9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
I have no idea what you're talking about so here's a thumbnail-sized spider that can shoot an 80-foot web to cross rivers (w/video)
source: sploid.gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Business owner claims she was personally offended after the TSA fondled her lobster. And thank god that's not a euphemism
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WNEP Scranton)
 
 
 
Bears in central Pennsylvania suffering from mange, so be careful on Grindr
source: wnep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Need to sue your neighbor but can't come up with enough money to start? Crowdfund that dispute
source: theindianalawyer.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(National Geographic)
 
 
 
Why does this man climb a cliff in the high Himalayas and contend with giant bees while dangling from worn ropes? For the hallucinogenic honey of course
source: nationalgeographic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Woman, tired of receiving unsolicited penis photos from a delusional suitor, gets revenge by sending said photos to the man's mother
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Remember the story about Seattle's minimum wage hurting low-paid workers? Yeah, they're actually doing quite fine, thanks for the concern
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WLTX Columbia)
 
 
 
This couple will meet and surpass the 13 lb. babies born recently with this 14.4 lb. behemoth
source: wltx.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Fox 8 Greensboro)
 
 
 
Former NC district attorneys indicted in wife-swap case. Wait, what?
source: myfox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS New York)
 
 
 
Smelly sprinkler malfunction blesses Long Island high school graduation
source: newyork.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Arkansas Online)
 
 
 
If you had less than 24 hours before Ten Commandments monument on Arkansas capitol grounds gets destroyed, come claim your prize
source: arkansasonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this artistic duo
source: d6d2h4gfvy8t8.cloudfront.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KHOU Houston)
 
 
 
Q: Is a giant catfish big enough to swallow a human? Media fact checkers: We don't know but here's a fake picture of a massive catfish that's all over the internet
source: khou.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Okay which one of you aliens put something 'artificial' on Mars that NASA's Curiosity Rover just snapped a picture of?
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
30-year study demonstrates that moderate drinking results in atrophy of the hippocampus. Fortunately, Farkers don't drink moderately, and even when we do, we're probably drinking to forget
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
It only took 28 years, but the CPS has finally gotten around to charging people for the Hillsborough Disaster that caused the deaths of nearly 100 people
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTUU Alaska)
 
 
 
This is how you troll Anchorage, Alaska
source: ktuu.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
BBC discovers who has the crappiest coffee
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mashable)
 
 
 
Pro-tip: when spreading a loved one's ashes, do so with the wind and not against it
source: mashable.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Media Matters)
 
 
 
In berating CNN for their (not quite) false Russia story, Fox News host asks if you could just imagine the reaction if Fox News had the audacity to push a bogus story about the president's birth certificate just for ratings (which they did)
source: mediamatters.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Maine confirms its first measles case in 20 years. If only scientists would get off their ivory tower asses and develop something that could have prevented this from happening again
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Things in Venezuela are getting a bit coup-y as a helicopter pilot flies over their Supreme Court building to shoot at it and drop grenades
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TWC News)
 
 
 
If you reported a sexual assault to the Austin, TX PD any time in the last 26 years, they'd like you to know they're finally getting around to running the DNA from the rape kit
source: twcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Up North Live)
 
 
 
Third time is not the charm
source: upnorthlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Detroit_News)
 
 
 
False online reviews are a problem everywhere. But Detroit takes the threats to the next level
source: detroitnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
The latest cause of depression? Parents who worry about their child's bedtime habits
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
The last subway derailment this serious was the end of the Jared Fogle ad campaign
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 

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