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Sat February 24, 2018
Source     Fark Headline Comments
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Guy who hugged Grimace thinks Samuel L. Jackson does too many TV commercials
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Pole escapes death camp, swims to island for safety, but dies as she's recaptured and transported back to her captors
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chron)
 
 
 
Cops unable to distinguish between good guy with gun and bad guy with gun
source: chron.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some High Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop Tennis Match: Acrophobia Edition
source: img.over-blog-kiwi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Chattanoogan)
 
 
 
Active shooter in Chattanooga
source: chattanoogan.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Chicago)
 
 
 
Man cleans conscience, returns $700 electric napkin dispenser to White Castle
source: chicago.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Five signs you need a vacation. tldr; you need a vacation
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Man captures moment that a horse walks into an area with a wolf-pack
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Your moment of cute: Here's how orphaned kangaroo joeys go to bed
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 10 Albany)
 
 
 
Local dumbass sees too many WWII movies, decides piano wire between trees is solution to noisy snow mobiles
source: news10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Photoshop Theme: How the hell did that happen?
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toronto Star)
 
 
 
Ooooh yeah macaron, yeah macaron, macaron, macaron...hmnmm mm nn mmh duhhh mnnn nuhhh nuhhh mnnh dnnnh nnnh macaron
source: thestar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
How real crisis actors work
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(11 Alive)
 
 
 
Atlanta-area crematorium damaged by fire
source: 11alive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 10 Albany)
 
 
 
Stealing $4 million is a really bad look, your Honor
source: news10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Houston Fark Party on Saturday, Feb 24th, 7:30pm CT @ Neil's Bahr
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Looks at yard. Hmm...needs mowing. Looks at calendar. Seriously, yard, WTF? Looks at wife, who points at lawnmower. Grumbles... next time I'm buying a damn condo
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(East Bay Times)
 
 
 
Having ruined their own state, Californians are on the move. If you're living in Colorado, I have some bad news for you
source: eastbaytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Oh give me a home where the buffalo roam / Where the deer and the antelope play / Where seldom is heard a discouraging word / And... wait, what is that elephant doing here?
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Minneapolis Star Tribune)
 
 
 
In other news, Fark founder Drew Curtis now expected to live to 172
source: startribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
Not news: Dog bites man. News: Man bites dog. Fark: Fox bites man, cat, dog, steals shoe
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Flyover country may soon look more like an inland sea. All you central U.S. Farkers, be safe out there
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LiveLeak)
 
 
 
Step aside NYC subway rats. Vancouver introduces pair of train station cougars
source: liveleak.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Science Alert)
 
 
 
Fourteen facts that will restore your faith in humanity
source: sciencealert.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Well who doesn't like big honkers?
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Are you grumpy? Good...because it's good for you
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Docent)
 
 
 
Photoshop this doorway greeter
source: notabletravels.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Billionaire suing California to keep you people off HIS beach
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
Your cat wants an elevator on Caturday
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Attention-seeking owl has a hoot photobombing traffic camera
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
"I actually rarely have sex without getting high these days." Submitter can only attest to the first five words
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Star (Malaysia))
 
 
 
KFC: fark
source: thestar.com.my   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
From the This Statement Is A Lie Department: "We never lie to the American people," O'Keefe said. "We only tell the truth to the American people. We never deceive the masses, ever. Period." Period
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
18-year-old lioness goes through maneopause
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TwinCities.com)
 
 
 
Flight gets diverted from snow-covered airport to ice-covered airport
source: twincities.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Minnesota)
 
 
 
Some educators never learn, pt. II
source: minnesota.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Woman beats off man masturbating on train. What?
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Time)
 
 
 
McDonald's manager shoots at drive-thru customers in an attempt to film that Falling Down sequel
source: time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Art Newspaper)
 
 
 
Global warming yields latest Russian craze: fossil mammoth ivory
source: theartnewspaper.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
It may not be worthy of Woofday material, but this very good boy deserves a bit more than just a steak. Meow if you disagree
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
During CNN town hall, NRA mouthpiece Dana Loesch slammed the loose background check process America has in place--a process the NRA fought tooth and nail to create
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
I'm sure he is fine and totally not patient zero in some new global pandemic
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Fri February 23, 2018
(Texas Monthly)
 
 
 
There is no swinger's sex kindergarten in east Texas according to girl whose parents were convicted of giving her silly pills then making her dance with a parachute tied to her pants and have sex with other children
source: texasmonthly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
If you were serious about becoming a blacksmith you would've done the hammering yourself and not hired a friend to attempt to hammer to death your unsupportive parents. So you see, maybe they were right about you lacking conviction for your dreams
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Seattle Times)
 
 
 
Seattle woman flips out over Norwegian flag flying in her neighborhood
source: seattletimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Former Miami Dolphins OL Jonathan Martin shows Florida what giant red sirens look like. *Pokes FBI with a stick*
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Canoe)
 
 
 
Everything you always feared about clowns turns out to be true
source: canoe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
... if you're brave enough
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Don't worry sir, the hissing noise coming from under the hood of your car is not a vacuum leak, it's only a king cobra
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
♫ Gandhi on the beach, there's nothing better / But I like Gandhi when she's wrapped in a sweater ♫
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Las Vegas Review Journal)
 
 
 
Snow in Vegas? Bet on it
source: reviewjournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TownNews)
 
 
 
Photoshop this needlepoint commemoration
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
If you adopt a pet only to eat that pet, you can expect to be banned from the local animal shelter, yeah
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Student needs more time to study for test so she A) fakes an illness, B) seduces the teacher, C) threatens school shooting
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
Step 1: Realize you accidentally brought a gun to school. Step 2: Find and inform school resource officer that you brought this weapon by mistake. Step 3: Get arrested and charged with felony
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Three other Broward County Sheriff's deputies hid behind their police cars during the Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School shooting
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 31 Denver)
 
 
 
Apparently there's such a thing as competitive indoor skydiving, and this 11-year-old can kick your ass in mid-air at it
source: kdvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Do you accept Jesus Christ as your personal boxing trainer?
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Another foot in a long line of feet was found washed up on British Columbia shores. It's been so many feet that it's been several feet of feet since 2007
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TwinCities.com)
 
 
 
Residents complain of aggressive time travelers who think it's still the 1950s
source: twincities.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
What happens in Vegas, has to stay in Vegas, including the marijuana you may have purchased before entering McCarran International Airport
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Photoshop this crazy lion
source: media2.s-nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Caption this model and his head
source: cdn.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
America's most notorious deadbeat dad caught in Canadian cherry pit sting. No, really
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AL.com)
 
 
 
Alabama housewife who lived double life as an online exhibitionist was killed by absinthe
source: al.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Woman claims her 60 inch backside stops traffic - and from the looks of it that would include medium-sized buses
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(5 News Fayetteville)
 
 
 
Instant Pot company warns one model can fondue itself
source: 5newsonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(5 News Fayetteville)
 
 
 
Man learns to use robotic arm controlled by his thoughts, now learning to deal with chafing
source: 5newsonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Six dangerous drug traffickers were arrested after a yearlong investigation into the appearance of 850 pounds of cocaine at the Russian embassy in Argentina
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCAX Vermont)
 
 
 
Psychologists say if you're taking too many selfies, you have "selfitis." And subby says psychologists may want to trade in the fancy sheepskin and look up "aphasia", "neologism", "word salad", and "Clang associations"
source: wcax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 61 Connecticut)
 
 
 
Your girlfriend might be a keeper if she brings you heroin while you are in the hospital so you can overdose where nurses have quick access to Narcan
source: fox61.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Why hasn't Fark been covering the most important news story of our times? I mean, 37 DAYS. Professional jealousy is ugly, Drew
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(National Post)
 
 
 
Canadian bureaucrats refused to arm Navy ship because guns are too expensive
source: nationalpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 8 Cleveland)
 
 
 
Turkey known for tormenting Cuyahoga Falls dies. With creepy pics of soulless bird eyes
source: fox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Flickr)
 
 
 
Two years ago, I promised a dear lifelong friend I'd enter a pic of her dog Darcy jumping into the water in a Fark PS contest...and never got around to it. My friend is now battling cancer, please PS Darcy to lift her spirits. DIT
source: flickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
After rich parents learned their son planned to hire a hitman and kill them, they staged their own deaths to make him think his plot came to fruition. Talk about dedication
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Fark-ready headline: Former Freemason, 51, found drunk and naked inside a huge pipe organ with a toy gun and remote-controlled police car says he got lost while trying to hand out cheeseburgers to the homeless
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bozeman Daily Chronicle)
 
 
 
Teacher with concealed gun fired. I thought we were cool with that now?
source: bozemandailychronicle.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Family has 'Oh my' moment at safari park after pulling up to three male lions who were deciding amongst themselves who was the most dominant (possible nsfw content on page)
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
"Nighty-night, baby. I love you"
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AL.com)
 
 
 
A Texas governor pardons a death row inmate. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going outside to see if I can spot some pigs flying
source: al.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Detroit_News)
 
 
 
Y, sin embargo, las personas en una de las ciudades más grandes del estado todavía no pueden beber el agua. Necesitamos prioridades más grandes y nuevos líderes
source: detroitnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vox)
 
 
 
The states that are actually fighting the opioid epidemic and those that aren't in one handy map
source: vox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vice)
 
 
 
Subby did not see the new alt-right wing fashions. Also he did not see Kyle
source: vice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Your drive to colonize Mars is because you have a penis, so it's bad, and therefore you should feel bad
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Racist dinner served for Black History Month at a) Oklahoma steakhouse, b) Klan meeting in Alabama, or c) NYU
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Action News Jacksonville)
 
 
 
I'd splurge the full $30
source: actionnewsjax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Virginian-Pilot)
 
 
 
Get drunk on your boat. Run out of gas. Call the Coast Guard. Go to prison
source: pilotonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Ars Technica)
 
 
 
Because Gun Control is never the answer, Trump now attempts to crusade against Violence in Movies and Video Games. There is no way the NRA is behind this
source: arstechnica.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 

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