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Thu July 07, 2016

Source	Fark Headline		Comments
		Smoker at gas station starts a fuel fight when confronted about her cigarette. You're damned right there's a mugshot source: bigstory.ap.org \| share:	49
		Theme of Farktography Contest No. 583: "Hidden Summertime Gems" Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme source: farktography.net \| share:	21

Wed July 06, 2016

	I have no idea what you are talking about so here is a pig taking a cat on a leash for a walk source: metro.co.uk \| share:	21

	Here's the last thing Japan's "Hitomi" black hole satellite saw before it clawed its own eyes out and stopped broadcasting source: gizmodo.com \| share:	95
	To help you buy better-fitting bras, Japanese lingerie seller offers helpful chart that visualizes weight of your breasts in terms of chipmunks, cockatiels, kittens, or number of pancakes you could make if your boobs were made of pancake batter source: en.rocketnews24.com \| share:	103
	"U.S. drivers also more often drive drunk and take other risks" source: ctvnews.ca \| share:	65
	Suck it up Guy Fieri haters, he's a damn national treasure and a genius source: newyorker.com \| share:	91
	Turns out all those blondes on Fox are Roger Ailes' version of dating source: huffingtonpost.com \| share:	79

	Caribou Barbie calls for insurrection in the wake of failed DoJ investigation of Madame President source: dailycaller.com \| share:	175
(Some Guy)	Photoshop this actual turnip truck (Don't fall off) source: s.mlkshk-cdn.com \| share:	20
	Authorities are on the look for a porta-potty arsonist. Stinky the Bear says, "Only you can prevent feces fires" source: komonews.com \| share:	16
	Catching up with the "Pom-Pom Mom" who stole daughter's ID in 2008, got onto high school cheerleading team at age 33, got arrested, and became press sensation for her identity theft. "It was devastating. I just wanted to get in a hole and die" source: theatlantic.com \| share:	65
	Sometimes after getting a girl pregnant you gotta face the music. This still applies when she's 10 years old. Bonus: guy beat similar charges a few years ago. Double bonus: ex-Pastor source: miami.cbslocal.com \| share:	54
	Supermarket: Dear customer, could you 'elaborate' on your complaint about our carrots? Customer: Why, yes source: dailyedge.ie \| share:	36
	Cop who drew gun on man filming him says man deserved it. At least it wasn't a penis source: arstechnica.com \| share:	83
	4th Annual Farks In The Wild at the Buffalo Zoo. July 20, 6pm VIP is SOLD OUT source: fark.com \| share:	16
	It must have been some great hummus source: fox19.com \| share:	21
	Here's all you need to know about the killer cops in the Alton Sterling murder. Combined years of experience: 7. Parents on police force: 2 source: heavy.com \| share:	251
	(╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻ source: nbc4i.com \| share:	452
	USDA: Fish, the other white 'Meat' source: mrctv.org \| share:	35
	To protect African cows from ravenous lions, Aussie researchers paint eyes on their butts. "While three unpainted cows were killed by lions, all the painted cows survived to graze another day" source: smh.com.au \| share:	70
	W00tStout 4.0 Fark Party at Hop-Con-- July 20th at Stone Brewery at Liberty Station, San Diego source: fark.com \| share:	45
	Ever wanted to own your very own Colorado "ghost town", complete with service station and a motel? Well, now you can for the low low price of just $350,000 source: upi.com \| share:	44
	You get hit by a car while crossing the street, so do you? A) Throw your watch at another car. B) Assault the driver. C) Perform a sex act in the direction of the female passenger while calling out obscene phrases. D) All of the above source: mirror.co.uk \| share:	40
	If you think Twitter can't turn a joke about boycotting Keebler Elves cookies into a full-blown ironic Nazi controversy, you clearly haven't been on the internet very long source: dailydot.com \| share:	33
	Businesses begin raising prices in the UK on goods and services, with Dell firing the first shot of a 10% across the board increase source: theregister.co.uk \| share:	64
	In addition to dead cheetahs, severed limbs, poop, and unpaid cops, here are all the reasons the Rio is Thunderdome source: gawker.com \| share:	51
	Once you've starred in a sex tape, do you relinquish the right to be upset about people using your naked likeness in a music video? source: z100.iheart.com \| share:	40
	Photoshop Challenge: Design an ad campaign for Scooby Snacks source: io9.gizmodo.com \| share:	9
	Lead's in the water of Flint, Michigan. Let's finger point and defer blame and smother the issue with layers of bureaucracy. Lead's in the water fountains of the US Capitol building? Free blood tests for all lawmakers immediately source: nypost.com \| share:	49
	If you wanted to do some damage to your estranged husband and his house, there are better vehicles to use instead of your Prius source: abc15.com \| share:	33
(rusue.com)	Tourist spends three days in Chernobyl sleeping in a derelict apartment source: rusue.com \| share:	48
	Man accused of groping six teens at Disney's Typhoon Lagoon blames his "broken glasses" source: dailymail.co.uk \| share:	97
	Neil deGrasse Tyson wants to build a country built solely on evidence and reason, apparently hasn't realized that The Simpsons tried this already and Stephen Hawking disproved the theory source: slate.com \| share:	180
	Gretchen Carlson files lawsuit against Fox News alleging she was fired for not giving Roger Ailes the chance to bring her to climax with the clinical efficiency of the assassination of Bin Laden source: politico.com \| share:	236
	Torn from the front page of the Bangor Daily News: Piglet dies after being left in hot car at fair. Absentee parents revoke Christopher Robin's driving privileges indefinitely source: bangordailynews.com \| share:	43
(Some Guy)	New Rule: every scientist and engineer needs to take a class called "what's the worst that could happen?" where they watch dystopian sci-fi movies. BAE creates a 3d printer that chemically "grows" military drones in an artificial womb for killer robots source: 3ders.org \| share:	62
	$508 million still up for grabs. Remember, you can't win unless you piss away any hope of eating people food in your old age source: wmur.com \| share:	104
	Heavy rain turns a stadium into the world's biggest bathtub source: sports.yahoo.com \| share:	46
	Dylann Roof's lawyer: Yeah the kid shot nine people, but geez, you don't have to make a federal case out of it source: seattlepi.com \| share:	68
	Human garbage wins right to pick up actual garbage source: cnn.com \| share:	45
	They say when in Rome, you should do as the Romans do. But that doesn't include getting drunk and fighting to the death with a homeless person source: dailymail.co.uk \| share:	25
	Man rents car, sells it online, then steals it back in the middle of the night source: hindustantimes.com \| share:	26
	558 source: rawstory.com \| share:	91
	Biggest danger at this year's Pamplona bull run? Wandering hands source: thelocal.es \| share:	28
	On today's edition of Dentists Gone Bad, dentist-dad who pushed for harsher penalties after his son was killed by a hit-and-run driver who was drinking has been arrested for DUI source: mcall.com \| share:	26
	Tesla waited nine days to report self-driving car fatality as Elon Musk was too busy working on Ultron source: nbcnews.com \| share:	111
	The unsung heroes of the Fourth of July? Animal control, who wait until the fireworks stop to go look for your dog who is hiding far away because I just want the loud noises to stop. OMG THE WORLD IS COMING TO AN END. HIDE ME, CAT source: ocregister.com \| share:	79
	TSA and American Airlines announce new venture that could speed up security lines while still doing absolutely nothing to actually make anyone any safer. Just like everything else the TSA has done before. But hey, faster lines source: upi.com \| share:	41
	Woman charged with beating, blinding woman with a hammer during a love triangle fight -apparently over a ball of yarn source: wreg.com \| share:	66
	17-year-old girl comes out as gay. Parents kick her out of the house... to set up her SURPRISE PARTY source: nbcphiladelphia.com \| share:	156
	Wait, wait, don't tell me you guys forgot all about the Fark Book Fair already. It was only in the NotNewslette-oh, I see where the problem is. We're hosting a Fark Book Fair on the 16th. Welcome to the Fark Writer's Thread, "I got nothing" edition source: fark.com \| share:	41
	Fark Store Daily Deal: DropShades colored LED glasses light up and change in response to music and sound. Made for EDM festivals but also useful in weird late night conversations. (Sponsored Link) source: deals.fark.com \| share:	7
	Catholic Priest: If you remarry, you should not have sex. And who would know better than a man who took a vow of celibacy? source: theguardian.com \| share:	82
	Refugees and immigrants who cannot pay their exorbitant fees to smugglers find themselves getting sent to an Egyptian crime ring that harvests their organs source: thedailybeast.com \| share:	40
	News: 30-person brawl at Walmart. Fark: Brawlers armed with baseball bats they looted from the sporting goods section. ULTRAFark: It was the second melee at the same Walmart within four hours source: democratandchronicle.com \| share:	98
	An Iowa man is arrested after continuing to shoot off fireworks despite being asked by the police to stop. He he then said was going to light another firework "with a blunt in his mouth because this is America' source: kwqc.com \| share:	56
	Florida subverts the "dead body turns out to be a mannequin" trope source: miami.cbslocal.com \| share:	28
	The pond is so peaceful. Especially in the evening with the frogs croaking, the crickets chirping and the stars shining. And there's always a parking spot in it where I can sleep source: jacksonville.com \| share:	48
	Outdoor survival tips for Bear Country. 1: Don't go to Bear Country source: bigstory.ap.org \| share:	52
	Photoshop this lone horn blower source: gannett-cdn.com \| share:	22
	Trump Airlines departure delayed due to the usual passenger behavior source: mirror.co.uk \| share:	60
	Today's summary execution of a black man by white cops is brought to you by Baton Rouge, Louisiana [GRAPHIC CONTENT WARNING] source: nydailynews.com \| share:	834
	It turns out dogs like riding in cars because damn that wind smells good plus it makes them feel like they're on the hunt source: mnn.com \| share:	49
(Some Guy)	State which receives the most sunlight in the United States may reconsider its de facto ban on solar energy, sorta, but it's controversial and many are still against it source: pv-tech.org \| share:	86
	National Geographic reveals travel photograph of the year, and if I was the Song dynasty I'd be very nervous source: ctvnews.ca \| share:	22
	"The solution to online 'Harassment' is simple: Women should log off" source: breitbart.com \| share:	222
	Awesome is having your hotel staff storm the place dressed and armed like ISIS terrorists for a prank source: express.co.uk \| share:	24
	Canadian bacon is NOT bacon at all, here's why source: extracrispy.com \| share:	112
	That'll do, pig. That'll do source: bbc.com \| share:	56
	The U.S. now has enough oil reserves to form its own OPEC, with blackjack and hookers source: cnbc.com \| share:	86
	Brexit Part 2. A nation divided over The Guardian's guide on how to eat a sausage sandwich. Red sauce or Brown sauce - friends estranged, families divided, as 672 comments testify source: theguardian.com \| share:	141

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