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Tue August 30, 2016
Source     Fark Headline Comments
(WCPO Cincinnati)
 
 
 
DEA argues that the 4th Amendment doesn't apply to the prescriptions you have in your medicine cabinet
source: wcpo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
San Francisco Police: Despite a court finding us biased against minorities, Colin Kaepernick owes us an apology for hurting our feelings
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
A. Take your date out to eat and do a runner on the £80 meal. B. Get caught 8-months later by the police and pay for the meal. C. Write a bad review about the food on Trip Advisor
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gothamist)
 
 
 
Good news for the people on the south shore of Long Island, you have a great white shark nursery right off your beaches. Enjoy the kids while they're young
source: gothamist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stars and Stripes)
 
 
 
Major General preparing to retire as Colonel after swinging for the fences for years
source: stripes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wikimedia)
 
 
 
Photoshop this work of art
source: upload.wikimedia.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Iceland Review)
 
 
 
Two of the largest volcanos in Iceland are coming back to life. FARK: Katla hasn't erupted in nearly 100 years, and is long overdue. If it does go kablooey, at least we can pronounce its name this time, unlike Bárðarbunga, so that's nice
source: icelandreview.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Time to book your trip to EuroFark 2016: Sept 30 - Oct 2 - Berlin, Germany
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Register)
 
 
 
Microsoft's new translation engine tells users that the word 'Daesh' translates into English as 'Saudi Arabia'. In their defence, it's an easy mistake to make
source: theregister.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Just like Harper Valley, PTA...but with a framed PTO mom, and drugs
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Chicago: The city of second amendment solutions
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Maine's Governor Swearingen says he's considering resigning, you c*cksuckers (Not safe for work audio)
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jalopnik)
 
 
 
Well, at least he didn't name it the "Live-4-Ever"
source: jalopnik.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toronto Star)
 
 
 
In Canada, milk comes in bags. Also, bikes are a luxury
source: thestar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New Musical Express)
 
NewsFlash
 
Is Chris Brown in your deadpool?, 'cause he's in a stand-off with LAPD over a gun incident, hurling a duffle bag of drugs & guns out his window while declaring "come get me" & posting potty-mouth Instagram videos
source: nme.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Fark-ready headline: Second couple have hedge stolen sparking fears of serial bush burglar
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS 12 West Palm Beach)
 
 
 
Vladimir Putin arrested at Publix after screaming at employees (w/mugshot)
source: cbs12.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Pokemon Go hunters find the rare Copulator (not safe for work)
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Perth Now)
 
 
 
You can tell the age of a tree by counting the rings, and the number of years in prison by weighing the methamphetamine hidden inside
source: perthnow.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Springfield News-Sun)
 
 
 
It's rush hour, bumper to bumper traffic on I-75 near Cincinnati. What a great place for a father and son to try heroin together
source: springfieldnewssun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toronto Star)
 
 
 
Man turns himself in for mislabelling how much nuts the contents of his package truly contained
source: thestar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Talk about a 'scapegoat', this one helps a Clydesdale go on the lam for five whole days
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTAE)
 
 
 
Crime in this neighborhood is so bad, these young teens were shot at while driving a stolen car
source: wtae.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHNT Huntsville)
 
 
 
Hey, if you ran a daycare full of screaming kids you'd find yourself keeping meth in your office pretty quickly too
source: whnt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
As if we didn't have enough to worry about, monster slugs are now attacking birds in Poland
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gothamist)
 
 
 
Women in New York stage "Go Topless Day" celebration to prove that there is nothing dirty about the female body. Result: Every perv in a 30 mile radius shows up to take pictures. With Not safe for work pictures...mostly of clothed male pervs
source: gothamist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KUOW Seattle)
 
 
 
In late August, Seattle Mariners fans are used to kissing the season goodbye, not each other at the game. Fark: And they were threatened with ejection from the game. Total Fark: On Pride night
source: kuow.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
The problem with all the people going to Burning Man to experience the time of their lives is that the rest of the time of their lives sucks bad enough to to want to go to Burning Man
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(1190 KEX Portland)
 
 
 
10,000th Syrian refugee arrives in the U.S. and is welcomed with a double wide trailer full of complimentary back bacon and Crystal Pepsi
source: 1190kex.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Alaska Dispatch News)
 
 
 
Whoever keeps riding up to random people in downtown Anchorage just to blast them with pepper spray before riding away, please knock it off
source: adn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Slow News Day: Smoking hot 20-year-old can lick her own eyebrow (w/pics)
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTAR Phoenix)
 
 
 
You never want to hear 'skydiving' and 'hard landing' in the same sentence
source: ktar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Alex Jones' InfoWars website hacked, 50,000 users info stolen. So, for unscrupulous types wanting a list of easily gullible people willing to give away money for just about any reason, it's like Christmas morning come early
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
If you're a critic of Vladimir Putin and living in Russia, your life expectancy has just sharply decreased, as evidenced by the number of Putin critics who have died recently. Of entirely non-suspicious causes, of course
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
EU rules Apple owes its home country $14.5 billion in unpaid taxes
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WGNO)
 
 
 
Actual headline: Famed Louisiana pink dolphin not pregnant, but 'dates' often
source: wgno.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark Shop)
 
 
 
Fark Store Daily Deal: HDR Projects 4 Pro software. 82 choices to play with your photos. (Sponsored Link)
source: deals.fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(From the Grapevine)
 
 
 
Your boss might be a cheap alcoholic if he rents work space from local bars that are mostly empty during the day
source: fromthegrapevine.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this dangerous stunt
source: img-s-msn-com.akamaized.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
Kevin Spacey threatens to kill Obama, attack a mosque, and put bombs in police stations. Anybody could have worked for Spacey. You never knew. That was his power
source: bostonglobe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Stanford rapist to be released after serving only three months, hopefully his long stint behind bars didn't have "too severe of an impact on him"
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bangor Daily News)
 
 
 
You know you're a hardcore vegetarian when you tattoo images of vegetables to your arms to prove to everyone that you're a hardcore vegetarian
source: bangordailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WNEP Scranton)
 
 
 
Bad: You are overdosing on drugs. Worse: People stop to take you to the hospital, drive by it, strangle you with jumper cables, put a hat and sunglasses on you while getting gas and then leave your body in the woods
source: wnep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toronto Star)
 
 
 
So wearing Indian headdresses on the first day of school was wrong for teaching about native communities in Quebec? Should the teachers not have done that?
source: thestar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Man arrested for feeling a little horse
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(National Post)
 
 
 
Remote Nunavut communities invaded by tourists asking them if Nunavut is open all year and where is the maple tundra?
source: news.nationalpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
New York store charges $585 for torn up shoes put back together with duct tape in order to make the buyer look fashionably poor. They can Derelicte my balls
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Mon August 29, 2016
(LBC 97.3)
 
 
 
This year's Notting Hill Carnival was the best ever
source: lbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vice)
 
 
 
"We realized that we were looking at something that no one had ever seen in the wild before. Literally a click on a link to jailbreak an iPhone in one step"
source: motherboard.vice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KRTV Great Falls)
 
 
 
Come on in, folks; let me show you through this spacious three-bedroom, two-bath split-level with detached garage, central air, and naked couple going at it on the floor
source: krtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Science Alert)
 
 
 
NASA just flew a spacecraft closer to Jupiter than ever before, and has the photos to prove it
source: sciencealert.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Man stabbed in Dartmouth - in the face, but not with a dart and not in the mouth
source: atlantic.ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Liverpool police search for suspect who robbed a sex shop wearing a red dress and wig. At least they know he's not an Everton fan
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Ars Technica)
 
 
 
It's only been a few days since Facebook replaced its human news curators with an algorithm. Let's see how it's doi...oh dear
source: arstechnica.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this cycling doodle
source: doodlepack.files.wordpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark NotNewsletter: A change to Fark that you won't hate
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Iran rolls out domestic internet. It's like the regular internet but without the things anyone wants, like porn, music, porn, movies, porn, gambling, and porn
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Dot)
 
 
 
#TheZuckening is the next stage in meme pages' crusade against Facebook
source: dailydot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Belleville Intelligencer)
 
 
 
After sex toy theft, police are probing for witnesses. Investigation is grinding to a halt
source: intelligencer.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sputnik News)
 
 
 
Do you enjoy a cocktail with horseradish and beet-root? You have similar tastes to Putin
source: sputniknews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Billings Gazette)
 
 
 
'Iceroad Truckers' star Darrell Ward killed in plane crash while traveling to begin filming a pilot for a new show involving the recovery of plane crashes
source: billingsgazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Bobbies lobby to allow policemen to openly wear tattoos on the job, "arguing that the service needs to better reflect modern Britain"
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Heat Street)
 
 
 
"Stamina Watch: Trump vs. Hillary. Who Lasts Longer?" Please be about the bedroom please be about the bedroom
source: heatst.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Andrea Tantaros will take a lie detector test if Roger Ailes and Fox Execs will too. She has a list of questions for them to answer
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
Man says he believed he was God until one of his sexual attack victims bit him, although why Morgan Freeman would attack anyone is unknown
source: seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this exercise guru
source: watchfit.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
It's becoming increasingly difficult to separate reality from parody as Sarah Palin falls down and cracks her head and finds a way to turn the incident into an attack on Hillary Clinton
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Variety)
 
NewsFlash
 
Willy Wonka, the Waco Kid, and Dr. Frederick Frankenstein all pass away on the same day. RIP Gene Wilder
source: variety.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(24/7 Wall Street)
 
 
 
In an attempt to speed up the Redneck Apocalypse, Walmart sues Texas in an effort to sell hard liquor to customers
source: 247wallst.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Dodo)
 
 
 
Mom can I have a puppy? "No." How about a baby rhino? "Okay"
source: thedodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Huma cuts off Weiner
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
San Francisco's rent is so high that this woman chose to live homeless
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Sunday storm in Manitoba brought hail the size of nickels, loonies and even eggs, three acknowledged forms of measurement when it comes to precipitation
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Remember to turn up for work today. Your king might be there, demanding explanations
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(24/7 Wall Street)
 
 
 
The 50 least powerful people in the world. List somehow fails to mention the shy intern with the weird name that works in the basement, or the homeless dude in Uruguay that lives somewhere in the forest
source: 247wallst.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Something did not happen at LAX
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Freeman)
 
 
 
Grandma got run over by a reindeer, wreaks horrible vengeance from Heaven
source: dailyfreeman.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
New Jersey police blame forty-nine deaths on na na na na na na na na na na BATMAN heroin
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LiveJournal)
 
 
 
Caption what Zuckerberg is thinking
source: ic.pics.livejournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
The Zika virus is being spread by: A) mosquitoes; B) tainted blood; C) apathy
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
Woman finally gets an answer to a message in a bottle which she placed in the water in 1995 as an 8-year-old child
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Texas)
 
 
 
Photoshop this big cowpoke
source: antonio1028.files.wordpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
Rural EMS to stop carrying EpiPens over cost hikes. Peanuts, bee stings seen giving each other high fives
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Burkina Faso does not like big butts and they cannot lie
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bozeman Daily Chronicle)
 
 
 
Paleontologist Jack Horner of Jurassic Park fame pushed into retirement after discovering a rare specimen known as Matrimonius Undergradiata
source: bozemandailychronicle.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Mortal Wombat, Mongolian Beef, and Skynet learning, but from all the wrong sites: a few of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 8/21 - 8/27
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
The hottest drink of the summer is this sort of wine slushie
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KHOU Houston)
 
 
 
It was only a matter of time before some carney decided to try selling deep fried Jell-O at the state fair
source: khou.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Prison escapee, unhappy with her posted mugshot, offers media a more flattering image
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
As if millennials didn't have enough to be blamed about, they can now add 'declining sales of bars of soap' to that list
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCAX Vermont)
 
 
 
You know the drill. Someone steals your dog. You post it on Facebook. It gets more than ten thousand shares. Your dog is recovered 962 miles from home and returned to you. That's how the internet works
source: wcax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
Weeners
 
Anthony Weiner is at it again, but this time with both the little Weiners in frame (possibly not safe for work)
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Tybee Island police shocked to find beheaded voodoo doll outside their station. They know its a real one because it has a label that says "Voo Doo" right on it. Bonus disfigured lizard adds to the mumbo jumbo mojo
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 

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