Drew Curtis' FARK.com

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Thu February 16, 2017

Source	Fark Headline		Comments
		"Don't be silly honey, that 'illness' you think you have is just the 'man flu'" source: standard.co.uk \| share:	27
		Photoshop this very strong man source: i.imgur.com \| share:	23
		California dam on the verge of overflowing. No not that one, the other one source: latimes.com \| share:	30

		If you want to get a pretty woman's attention, throw your dog at her, Mr. Smooth source: theledger.com \| share:	18
		Finally a cocktail syrup that tastes just like Mardi Gras, minus the urine, vomit, and underboob sweat source: talesofthecocktail.com \| share:	27
		Chinese residents breathe a smog-filled small sigh of relief at the thought that China may lose its title as the country with the world's deadliest air. Sucks to be you India source: shanghaiist.com \| share:	21
		"How many of us tell our children to avoid peer pressure, and to stay away from drugs because they are harmful, but openly provide catnip to our feline family members?" source: dougalley.bangordailynews.com \| share:	73
		Late Little Caesars founder Mike Ilitch paid Rosa Parks' rent for over a decade after she was burglarized. If only Papa John was half the man he was source: newsone.com \| share:	106

		Man with nothing better to do for a few hours spends it blocking the view of police speed camera vans on the highway: "People have been loving it. One person got in touch and said: 'Not all heroes wear capes'" (pic) source: mirror.co.uk \| share:	43
		Not news: You forget to plug in your phone to recharge overnight. Fark: The nursing home forgets to plug in Grandpa to recharge his heart pump overnight source: startribune.com \| share:	31
		Google's most sophisticated A.I. will murder anyone who stands in the way of its green apples source: seattlepi.com \| share:	58
		Theme of Farktography Contest No. 615: "Holy Macro!". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme source: farktography.net \| share:	50

Wed February 15, 2017

	PSA: When donating a shirt to Goodwill make damn sure it wasn't the shirt where your husband was hiding $8000 in cash source: upi.com \| share:	37
	"City of the Dead" gets a little artistic sprucing up so the residents aren't so depressed because they live in a graveyard city source: dailynewsegypt.com \| share:	10
	Some days, you just want to go shark fishing in your underwear source: ozy.com \| share:	14
	While pop-culture assassins are dressed in black leather or wear cool hooded capes, the reality seems to be quite different source: boingboing.net \| share:	41
	The mass beaching of whales in New Zealand in recent weeks was not just some ordinary tragedy, it was a warning that a HUGE earthquake is coming soon source: express.co.uk \| share:	49
	How to live forever while only eating McDonald's. Probably it'll just seem like forever source: nypost.com \| share:	43
	Which famous musician do you think deserves a biopic? What actor or actress do you think should play him or her? I nominate Ian McShane for Ronnie Drew, or John Hodgeman for Roy Orbison source: fark.com \| share:	147
	The strange love story of the UPS driver and Pearl the goat. With video goodness source: upi.com \| share:	25
	Substitute school bus driver sees mom struggling to get her wheelchair-bound daughter down flight of steps at their house, isn't having it. At all. Gets some buddies and some free lumber from Lowe's and builds deluxe ramp in an afternoon source: cbsnews.com \| share:	97
	Photoshop this NYC streetscape source: scontent-atl3-1.xx.fbcdn.net \| share:	15
	People evacuating their homes because of California dam crisis left behind some kangaroos, zebras, deer, probably some dogs and cats as well but those didn't make the news source: foxnews.com \| share:	32
	Bank of England to vegans: Just keep the five pound notes out of your mouth and you'll be fine source: bbc.com \| share:	83
	Pentagon considering ground troops for Syria within weeks as part of Trump's plan to accelerate fight against ISIS source: cnn.com \| share:	239
	As most of you already know the host of Livingston Stapler Company Presents was in an accident on his way home from the show on February 5th. Received a FB message from his wife that he's being moved to Queen Anne Healthcare on Feb. 15th. Updates in thread source: fark.com \| share:	76
	Florida Woman is transported by ambulance to 7 different hospitals during epic 26-hour doctor shopping spree source: thesmokinggun.com \| share:	53
	Small aircraft hits deer and... Oh, c'mon... this was literally a Bill Engvall comedy routine source: wlox.com \| share:	38
	Thank you for your generous donation of computers for kids. Just kidding: I took them to the dump (with mugshot) source: actionnewsjax.com \| share:	47
(Wix)	Photoshop this paused pose source: static.wixstatic.com \| share:	17
	If USA wants Crimea returned to Ukraine, Russia wants Alaska back source: pravdareport.com \| share:	157
	"The moving finger writes; and, having writ, moves on." unless of course it's in rewriting mode, in which case is buries itself in shame and erases everything because THIS is your Fark Writer's Thread source: fark.com \| share:	55
	Virginia principal who ordered removal of diversity posters allows them to go back up after social media uproar, explains that he was only concerned they, um, weren't diverse enough and some groups might feel left out. Yeah, that's the ticket source: washingtonpost.com \| share:	98
	Apparently, it's technically legal to screw police officers with booby traps. Or at least, they can't find out what law to use source: freep.com \| share:	107
	Alabama House passes bill to deny funding to "sanctuary" colleges offering safe havens to immigrants, minorities from hate crimes, because nobody wants that in the state source: al.com \| share:	183
	Here's the presidential order of succession -- just in case source: nydailynews.com \| share:	214
	In these parlous, challenging times, we all need something that we can agree on, something that unites us, something that gives us a calm acceptance of the world and our place in it. So here it is: Young millennial drivers are the worst source: mlive.com \| share:	131
	"He will die in jail." Intelligence community ready to go nuclear source: rawstory.com \| share:	661
	84 years ago today, an anarchist leveled his pistol very close to the parade route of president-elect Roosevelt. Read how the quick-thinking reaction of a petite woman foiled the would-be assassin source: upi.com \| share:	62
	Fireworks plus stupid usually equals jail source: herald-dispatch.com \| share:	30
	Idaho man's pet squirrel Joey goes nuts on burglar source: nbc26.com \| share:	50
	"The most likely situation is that during the burial they lost their grip on the coffin and it rolled and fell in upside down, they looked down and said, 'You know what, no one's ever going to know'" source: ibtimes.co.uk \| share:	67
	FAKE CHEWS source: washingtonpost.com \| share:	34
	Consumers of a substance that has been linked to cancer, stroke, brain damage, and mental illness are becoming worried about banned pesticides that are used during the cultivation of that substance source: theglobeandmail.com \| share:	154
(Some Guy)	Photoshop this inquisitive gaze source: westcoast-falconry.com \| share:	15
	Only in New York can your obituary read "Killed by rat urine" source: nydailynews.com \| share:	36
	Man sends woman a bill for $60 after she refused a second date source: metro.co.uk \| share:	180
	Utilities companies vote to make America weak again by closing a major coal plant in Arizona source: treehugger.com \| share:	133
	"We are all Mia the distracted beagle" source: mnn.com \| share:	37
	What's purchased in Vegas, stays in Vegas source: beta.theglobeandmail.com \| share:	23
	Nobody wants to live on Dick Street source: nj.com \| share:	77
	China plans floating nuclear plants. This way, if there's a meltdown, it will only hurt the ocean source: rt.com \| share:	52
	McDonald's just exposed your buns to an unprotected nutsack source: 1059thebrew.com \| share:	84
	Russians deny "unsafe and unprofessional" flybys near USS Porter source: rt.com \| share:	43
(FTVLive)	TV news reporter who had been campaigning to toughen state DUI laws gets busted for DUI source: ftvlive.com \| share:	41
	It's 2017 and you can still be suspended from high school in Mississippi if you're a guy who dyes your hair pink source: arkansasonline.com \| share:	64
	A new study reveals most Texas school districts offer little sex education because isn't that what the 4-H Club is for? source: khou.com \| share:	41
	Mailing meth do's and don'ts: Do address it to yourself as a guest, and not just the hotel. Don't put your name as the return address source: flyertalk.com \| share:	30

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