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Tue January 24, 2017
Source     Fark Headline Comments
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
All in all it's just another dick in the wall. (Warning: Sexual content)
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toronto Star)
 
 
 
Toronto Police: If your illegal weed shop is robbed, you should totally report it to us for your own protection. No, seriously. What? Why are you laughing?
source: thestar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
It's getting to the point where a cop can't spank a kid even with grandma's permission
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Mon January 23, 2017
(Metro)
 
 
 
Swallowing a live goldfish and posting it to You Tube? Yeah that's jail time
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Virginian-Pilot)
 
 
 
Today is the 40th anniversary of National Handwriting Day. I made a personal note of this in my day planner, but unfortunately I can't read what it says
source: pilotonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Working as a lawyer in exchange for marijuana can get your license suspended. Working as a lawyer for money, then using money to buy weed, no problem
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSAZ West Virginia)
 
 
 
'I get nervous flying, that's my companionship grenade'
source: wsaz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
When walking down the street with a popcorn maker box full of drugs and two police officers wish you a Happy National Popcorn Day should you A) say "Happy National Popcorn Day to you too Officers" B) Thank them and go about your day or C) Run away
source: guelph.ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Study finds sex toys are safer than children's toys, less likely to require awkward answers in the emergency room
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
What's the only thing that can make a monster truck show better? A sailor coming home from deployment early and surprising his kids
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark NotNewsletter: The week that spawned a thousand memes
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Man stabbed in tailor shop but is luckily stitched up quickly with a special cross-stitch, an embroidered design, and a little piping
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vice)
 
 
 
Florida Booty trifecta on play as artist puts wax butts around Miami to expose everyday sexual harassment in public places (Pics of wax butts on link so probably Not safe for work)
source: thecreatorsproject.vice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Flickr)
 
 
 
Photoshop these colorful pencil points
source: c1.staticflickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Some papers are more widely distributed than others
source: pulsegulfcoast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
Just in time for our brave new world, here are eight vulgar Spanish phrases (Not safe for work-ish)
source: thelocal.es   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
You would think that the world's largest concrete war ship would have sunk by now. You probably didn't picture it sitting surrounded by gardens, either. Look quick, it's almost gone
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Des Moines Register)
 
 
 
You're arguing with your 12-year-old son over the shoes he wants to wear to school. Do you: A) Stick to your guns B) Let him wear the shoes he wants. C) Abandoned him on the side of the highway. "What am I supposed to do? Be late for work?"
source: desmoinesregister.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AL.com)
 
 
 
The most Southern headline you'll read today: Celebrate your love with candlelit Valentine's Day dinner at Waffle House
source: al.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Yeah, and we're not gonna fall for a banana in the tailpipe
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jalopnik)
 
 
 
Russia claims that its aircraft have just flown in the first joint U.S.-Russian combat mission of the Syrian War. Which is interesting, since the American side is flatly denying it
source: foxtrotalpha.jalopnik.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop what's in the beaker
source: im8.kommersant.ru   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Lists of things that can give you cancer now includes crispy roast potatoes and browned toast
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Stack)
 
 
 
Bank robberies, which have declined 60% in 25 years, are taking a hell of a lot longer than they used to
source: thestack.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Al Jazeera)
 
 
 
Two gored to death in Indian bull-taming festival. Bull may not be tame yet
source: aljazeera.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Caller)
 
 
 
Mad Dog Mattis makes an explosive entrance in Washington by overseeing 31 strikes on ISIS in Iraq and Syria
source: dailycaller.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
British leader refuses to comment on the Royal Navy's recent missile launch failure, and whether or not they were actually attempting to nuke Florida
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Japanese airplane will be stuck on the tarmac for another two years, narrowly missing the record set by American Airlines
source: money.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Hong Kong's top politician leaves government to live as a civilian, drives back to her former residence in the middle of the night because her new place didn't come with toilet paper and she didn't know where to get more
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(From the Grapevine)
 
 
 
If you really want to make someone happy today you can pay it forward, give someone an alarm clock, or start a flash mob at a hospital
source: fromthegrapevine.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Star Wars)
 
 
 
Title of Star Wars Episode VIII revealed. But which is it, the master, or the apprentice?
source: starwars.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
It's an elephant fighting a tortoise. And who wins might just surprise yo ... nope, no surprises there
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Apparently according to science, you're probably showering far, far too much and need to have more pong
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Talk Radio (UK))
 
 
 
And the moral of the story is: never believe a fortune teller, especially when they tell you to become a prostitute
source: talkradio.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
It has been zero days since the last kangaroo attack. It is always zero days since the last kangaroo attack
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Alaska Dispatch News)
 
 
 
Lawmaker bills Alaska $20,000 to ship a washer and a dryer, a piano, four air compressors, building supplies, enlarger parts, a band saw, a basketball backboard, lawn chairs, four weight benches, three fans and three vacuums to his rural home
source: adn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Muff Diving Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this low muff
source: wardrobelooks.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Cops shoot dead homeowner while investigating a break-in, presumably to make sure the corpse didn't come back as a zombie
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Talk Radio (UK))
 
 
 
Apparently the people of Australia killed off a load of ancient prehistoric species, such as lions and giant kangaroos. Must have been some barbecue
source: talkradio.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
Maybe it's time to quit smoking when the billboards start coughing at you
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
The Women's March was very successful. So, now what?
source: mobile.nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Las Vegas Review Journal)
 
 
 
Shoot and kill your coworker during a robbery? That's fine, since the place was being robbed, we will just pin the murder charge on the robber
source: reviewjournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
And CNN's balls grew three sizes that day
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
For two and a half hours, United stopped breaking guitars
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Omaha World Herald)
 
 
 
New bill in Nebraska would let teachers use physical force on "violent, unruly" students
source: omaha.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Radio Insight)
 
 
 
New Radio Station "El Booty" launches, calling themselves "The Official Station For Latina Strippers Of Tampa Bay"
source: radioinsight.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 

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