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Thu May 17, 2012
Source     Fark Headline Comments
(MSNBC) Obvious Coffee that was once good for you, then bad for you, then good, then bad, then good, and then bad again is now once more good for you  (vitals.msnbc.msn.com) (53)
(Farktography) Farktography Theme of Farktography Contest No. 367: "Scavenger Hunt 2". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme  (farktography.net) (68)


Wed May 16, 2012
(news8000.com) Sick Two accused of driving with portable meth lab next to toddler. That's methed up  (news8000.com) (29)
(Gothamist) Spiffy Former NY Governor Spitzer's call girl selling her underwear. Move along, nothing to sniff here  (gothamist.com) (49)
(Yahoo) Scary Car crashes into the home of Sonya and Wade Schenewolf, of Easton, PA. This is a repeat from March 2012, and also from December 2011  (gma.yahoo.com) (61)
(Some Guy) Dumbass Problem 1: Minor girls drinking in your bar. Problem 2: Cops are walking in. Solution: Stick them in the kitchen, tell cops they're your cooks. Problem 3: They don't know how to start the grill  (wlfi.com) (76)
(NYPost) Sad The Kennedy Curse is validated one more time  (nypost.com) (123)
(Spiegel) Photoshop Photoshop these students stretching  (spiegel.de) (14)
(Some Bunny) Sad A Farker needs our help  (nei.nih.gov) (507)
(Some zoo's blog) Cool Ugly ass-snow leopards born at Woodland Park Zoo. Link goes to some sucky blog and horrific pics  (woodlandparkzblog.blogspot.com) (41)
(AZCentral) Interesting Tombstone water access denied. Well... bye  (azcentral.com) (114)
(WPTV) Fail You know those $100 shoes you bought to help you tone your butt and lose weight? Never mind  (wptv.com) (157)
(Gizmodo) Unlikely Height, weight, size, girth, tight, skinny, tan, rich, petite, jacked, strong, confident, go-getter, blast at parties, awesome fashion sense, musically adept, great cook, great in bed, etc, etc  (gizmodo.com) (257)
(The New York Times) Sad Carlos Fuentes is no mas. He was the first Mexican author to write a best seller north of the border, an idealistic diplomat, and a brilliant wordsmith in two languages. Subby can't even write a coherent headline in one. Adios, maestro  (nytimes.com) (28)
(Chicago Tribune) Scary Four Guardian Angels knifed in Chicago. If only there was somebody to watch over them  (chicagotribune.com) (72)
(Some Guy) Amusing "The giant penis artwork "Gaia" measuring over 4 metres was...blown up during a controlled explosion"  (austrianindependent.com) (43)
(WPTV) Florida You know you're homeless when your husband rubbing and massaging your back is actually his attempt to secretly stuff stolen Pop-Tarts and Slim Jims into your pockets  (wptv.com) (28)
(Telegraph) Sick "Let's see...fever, check. Infection in the lungs, check. Coughing up blood, check. My dear, it is of my professional opinion that you're just lovesick"  (telegraph.co.uk) (78)
(Some Guy) Amusing Yet another reason why Canada kicks Americas Ass. We have sex tours for school age kids that include a masturbation room  (winnipegsun.com) (210)
(Some Guy) Scary Man, who obviously has never seen porn before, gets slashy at public library on another man for not looking at porn  (nbcnewyork.com) (21)
(MSN) Photoshop Photoshop this guy getting a grip  (msnbcmedia.msn.com) (18)
(Some Bozo) Dumbass Group of clowns to assault police at NATO summit with pies. Guess we will find out if clown death is in fact funny  (chicago.cbslocal.com) (110)
(Some Awesome Grandma) Cool 100-year-old Edith Pittenger has already taken laps at the Indianapolis Motor Speedway (at age 96), so how does she celebrate 100? By going parasailing  (thestarpress.com) (6)
(The Local (Sweden)) Misc Bikini booster blamed for burned boobs  (thelocal.se) (319)
(wlfi.com) Asinine 12-year-old boy put in jail by mistake. Officers suspected something was wrong upon realizing that they jailed a 12-year-old boy  (wlfi.com) (67)
(Washington Times) Amusing Candle company now offering candles for men scented like "Riding Mower" and "2 x 4". Nothing in the flatulence, used motor oil or nitrogen-based fertilizer line yet. But we're waiting  (washingtontimes.com) (89)
(Some Guy) Strange "What are you in for?" "Unlawful possession of abalone"  (lakeconews.com) (47)
(Some Guy) Fail $200,000 street value - $200,000 bail = Freedom to 52-year-old pot farmer  (delcotimes.com) (76)
(Some Guy) Unlikely Trio robs five people and shoots one, across two states, in less than two hours. And they say American work ethic is dead  (fortstewart.patch.com) (19)
(TSP) Dumbass Man visits campus on a stolen bike, steal sodas, says he's going to the library to study but can't remember what he's studying, later found on another bicycle with a stolen sandwich, gets arrested. The circle of dumbass is complete  (thestarpress.com) (10)
(CNN) Followup FBI decides that while JP Morgan Chase might be too big to fail it may not be too big to Jail its executives  (news.blogs.cnn.com) (103)
(ABC) Scary China: Me ban you long time. Vietnam: I can't hear you. Sound off like you got a pair  (abcnews.go.com) (55)
(Wired) Followup On this day in 1988, scientists discovered that nicotine was just as addictive as heroin and cocaine, and yet we still allow it to be sold in stores across the country  (wired.com) (197)
(BBC) Spiffy Finally someone realizes even pirates have to sit on the beach and drink fruity drinks with tiny umbrellas once in a while  (bbc.co.uk) (28)
(IndyStar) Stupid Students place sticky notes throughout school as a senior prank. The principal's reaction? a) Share a good laugh with the students, b) Kindly ask the students to remove sticky notes, or c) Suspend 40+ students and fire the janitor  (indystar.com) (187)
(My Fox DC) Scary DC Metro can't wait for you to get the hell off of its trains  (myfoxdc.com) (55)
(Jalopnik) Amusing Fiat: The car of choice for photobombers  (jalopnik.com) (52)
(NPR) Hero Despite years of trying to grow the donor pool, replacement organs are still in critically short supply for people whose names aren't Dick Cheney or Steve Jobs. The solution? Tax credits for organ donors  (npr.org) (164)
(CNN) Cool "You go vertical into the light, and suddenly, instead of gray and dark, it's light and blue. You are totally connected with the elements. You are in another world. I want to live that again"  (sportsillustrated.cnn.com) (21)
(Some Guy) Dumbass You are not allowed to open fire in a Missouri bar merely because they won't serve you any more alcohol. That's really more of a Texas thing  (kjrh.com) (25)
(Des Moines Register) Obvious Couple commits suicide in a cemetery. Sad, yet convenient  (desmoinesregister.com) (34)
(USA Today) Cool Let's face it, staycations are so last year. How about a nakation instead?  (travel.usatoday.com) (72)
(MSN) Strange John Connor reported missing from downtown Los Angeles. T-1000 wanted for questioning  (wonderwall.msn.com) (42)
(Buffalo News) Scary Buffalo detectives solve 1994 murder after finally realizing that the guy who "found" the dismembered corpse in his yard had spent the last forty years racking up convictions for raping and killing his way across New York  (buffalonews.com) (22)
(WSB TV) Sad Taekwondo World Champion vs Random Gunman. Round 1, fi- BLAM  (wsbtv.com) (118)
(The Smoking Gun) Sick Pastor busted for watching his flock a little too closely  (thesmokinggun.com) (46)
(USA Today) Stupid Are you a self-centered douchebag who can't wait a few hours before yammering your life's inanities into a cellphone so that everyone trapped around you can hear every detail? Awesome, you're the man, book your next flight on Virgin  (travel.usatoday.com) (38)
(Quad City Times) Fail "Well, we can't give the $72 million it would take to build a new bridge because the old one is unsafe. But we can spend $10 million to paint the old one and make it look prettier"  (qctimes.com) (38)
(Some Guy) Dumbass Mother outraged that a teacher allegedly molested her 16-year-old son. Father also complains that his shoulder is sore from all the high-fiving  (northjersey.com) (32)
(Cracked) Interesting Remember how the White folks stole all of the land from the Indians? Yeah, well about that  (cracked.com) (156)
(The New York Times) Interesting Take-home HIV test approved by FDA in unanimous vote could prevent thousands of transmissions, frat house gang bangs, annually  (nytimes.com) (32)
(The Tennessean) Strange Tired of the TSA shenanigans at the airport? Just climb a fence, walk across a runway, and board a flight  (tennessean.com) (38)
(Sun Sentinel) Florida What do you do with a drunken Saylor? Put some clothes on her til she's sober. HO HO and up she rises. Ear-lye in the morning  (weblogs.sun-sentinel.com) (38)
(ABC) Weird Man's condition downgraded from Nearly Drowned to Totally Drowned  (abcnews.go.com) (17)
(My Fox DC) Interesting Student: It's hot, can we turn the AC on? Teacher: Of course - just one question - what is equal to the sum of the squares of the two legs of a right triangle?  (myfoxdc.com) (82)
(Gothamist) Scary What a motorcycle looks like after it meets two racing Ferraris  (gothamist.com) (91)
(WRCB-TV) Interesting Four Alabama men fined for stealing cultural artifacts. In other news, proof now exists that at some time in the remote past, there was actually some culture in Alabama  (wrcbtv.com) (39)
(Daily Mail) Interesting Domesticated dogs may have been the reason why we flourished over the Neanderthals  (dailymail.co.uk) (83)
(The New York Times) Cool Usually making faces in the subway would get you punched in the nose  (nytimes.com) (10)
(My San Antonio) Fail There's no way he'll get it right next year  (mysanantonio.com) (28)
(Salon) PSA So, apparently July 9th, 2012 is the Internet Apocaypse. WHO KNEW?  (salon.com) (45)
(Canoe) Dumbass Judge doesn't buy that a 16-year-old girl actually raped a 47-year-old man and not the other way around  (cnews.canoe.ca) (86)
(Slate) Spiffy Luckiest journalist in the world gets paid to find the "Greatest Beer in the World". His answer? Russian River Brewing Company's Pliny the Younger  (slate.com) (191)
(3 News New Zealand) Strange Female genitalia... or Pac-man? (SFW)  (3news.co.nz) (65)
(Some Guy) Sick What do you get when you combine a Sparkling Princess and Royal Horse Barbie set in pink wrapping paper, a digital camera and Viagra? C.) PMITAP  (post-gazette.com) (38)
(Buzzfeed) Amusing 30 years from now: some predictions  (buzzfeed.com) (66)
(The New York Times) Obvious Coyotes force trail closures in Golden Gate Park due to conflicts with pets, shipments of rocket sleds and giant crossbows from Acme Corp  (nytimes.com) (39)
(3 News New Zealand) Dumbass TV crew catches carpet cleaner creating a few stains of his own  (3news.co.nz) (40)
(CSMonitor) Asinine Loyal ally Pakistan allows the US to reopen supply line to troops in Afghanistan. For $365 million US. Annually  (csmonitor.com) (87)
(NW Florida Daily News) Florida After getting caught shoplifting an 18 pack of Bud Light from a store, man admits to the cops that it was "a bad decision." No word if he's talking about the act of stealing or the type of beer he stole  (nwfdailynews.com) (61)
(UPI) Weird Judge orders suspect freed on $150,000 bond as long as he wears his ankle monitor and gets his book reports in by Friday  (upi.com) (9)
(Some Player) Asinine Church Softball team dropped from league because preacher plays for both teams  (ksdk.com) (85)
(AZCentral) Followup Not that it will change the opinion of a single person one way or the other, but the prosecution's own records show the Zimmerman had two black eyes, a broken nose, and two cuts on the back of his head the night Trayvon Martin was shot  (azcentral.com) (657)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this powdered person  (rit.edu) (14)
(SacBee) Dumbass A new hero emerges in the quest to free OJ so that he can continue his search for the real killer  (sacbee.com) (50)
(BBC) Cool The US war on Alzheimer's. Never Forget  (bbc.co.uk) (55)
(Stars and Stripes) Sappy Haitian immigrant, rescued at sea by the Coast Guard as a 6-year-old boy, will graduate from the US Coast Guard Academy 18 years later  (ap.stripes.com) (43)
(Gizmodo) Cool New cut of beef discovered: "The flavor is comparable to the New York Strip Steak. It does not require aging or marinating to achieve tenderness." Kinda makes you wonder... What else have those damn cows been holding out on us?  (gizmodo.com) (192)
(The New York Times) Stupid Wal*Mart set to build Alabama location over burial plots of 80 slaves, stage most appropriate haunting in the South  (nytimes.com) (70)
(Daily Mail) Hero 67-year-old man dies after receiving lapdances. That's one way to get 10 dances in a row without paying (NSFW images below article)  (dailymail.co.uk) (59)
(AP) Followup As if being in WalMart isn't trauma enough, NJ man sues WalMart for $1 million after being "traumatized" by a 16-year-old's racist remark  (hosted.ap.org) (82)
(Daily Mail) Cool If you like dogs, you will love giant dogs (NSFW images below article)  (dailymail.co.uk) (84)
(AOL) Hero University issues new contract requiring faculty to accept "Personal Lifestyle Pledge". Faculty members respond with "How about no? Does no work for you? And by the way, we're out of here "  (jobs.aol.com) (236)
(SeattlePI) Followup Seattle Police Department claims Justice Department proposal is unreasonable, says it will be too expensive to stop its officers from randomly bludgeoning innocent people  (seattlepi.com) (114)
(Some Guy) Scary "I saw a boat flying at me with its nose to the sky ... next thing I know I got a boat on top of my leg"  (katu.com) (30)
(The Sun) Scary Duck falls down chimney, survives being on fire. The Sun is there with a variety of sauces  (thesun.co.uk) (26)
(STLToday) Silly If you left $15k at Goodwill by accident, so did everyone else  (stltoday.com) (35)
(Daily Mail) Strange I said, NINETEEN-YEAR-OLD HOTTIE SUFFERS FROM "HATRED OF SOUND", SO KEEP IT DOWN PLEASE (w/pics)  (dailymail.co.uk) (170)

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