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Thu March 23, 2017
Source     Fark Headline Comments
(KAIT Jonesboro)
 
 
 
Time for my yearly donation to Goodwill. Shirts? Check. Pants? Check. Loaded gun? Who wouldn't want a loaded gun in their pants, right?
source: kait8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Your phone, your remote, and even your reusable grocery bags are full of disgusting germs. Basically, you're gross and you should feel bad
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Al Jazeera)
 
 
 
Faced with the US laptop travel ban, Arab airlines are experiencing an explosion of snarky advertising
source: aljazeera.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Heat Street)
 
 
 
Let's check an early review of Rachel Dolezal's autobiography....ohhh lawd
source: heatst.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCAX Vermont)
 
 
 
If you tell state troopers in one different state that you are heading out of state to purchase heroin, shouldn't you be locked up so you don't do it again? Not if you do it in Connecticut
source: wcax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Study shows most cancers are random, are unavoidable. Science to the left; calm, rational discussion on the right. Choose your side carefully
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
The most adorable pics of a toddler getting his first ride in a big rig that you'll see all year
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
MP Tobias Ellwood, who battled to save the life of stabbed policeman at Westminster, lost his own brother in the 2002 Bali terrorist bombings
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Grabher by the licence plate
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this baby manatee
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC Action News)
 
 
 
First responders: When responding to report of elderly man wandering neighborhood shirtless, carrying catheter bag, take him to hospital. Don't just call him a cab, send him to wrong address 40 miles away
source: abcactionnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Park honoring Franklin Roosevelt sued for not being handicap-accessible
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 13 Orlando)
 
 
 
"Ack, call 911, I've been struck by lightning." "Well, isn't this ironic"
source: mynews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Boston)
 
 
 
College students rescued man from train tracks because God doesn't always protect fools, drunks, Fark headline submitters
source: boston.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Reagan to get balls bigger than the ones used to announce that the missiles to ensure peace with the USSR launch in five minutes during a radio broadcast
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
4 yr old: "Siri, set 4pm reminder for Wonder Pets, Check @Elmo on twitter, also save Mum's life"
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTVM Columbus)
 
 
 
Waffle House: Come for the food, stay for the show
source: wtvm.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
Remember the Heaven's Gate mass suicides from twenty years ago? Well you can still buy the victims' discontinued Nike shoes if you're into that kind of a thing
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buzzfeed)
 
 
 
Photoshop this creepy cosplayer
source: img.buzzfeed.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Former Russian MP and critic of Putin trips and accidentally falls on some bullets, according to the Kremlin
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 2 St. Louis)
 
 
 
4-year-old brings shell casing to daycare, therefore soccermom martial law is declared
source: fox2now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KOIN Portland)
 
 
 
A new "Hyperloop," if built, could connect Seattle and Portland in 15 minutes. Or two and a half hours if the TSA gets involved
source: koin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Good: NASA resolves data error in the Space Station's radiation sensors. Awesome: Thanks to the analysis of a 17 year-old student in Britain
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
Dissecting Sir Mix-a-lot's magnum opus: 'I like big butts and I cannot lie' is a clear value proposition
source: seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 13 Orlando)
 
 
 
Today is national puppy day, so let's see them all-big puppies, little puppies, sweater puppies
source: mynews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Fahrenheit 451. Now translated to Floridian
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(C|Net)
 
Fake
 
Impossible Foods company intends to market a "veggie burger that bleeds". Next year, they will introduce carrots that scream
source: cnet.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Montana Standard)
 
 
 
Big Hole jammed (link fixed)
source: mtstandard.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Arrest made in multiple threats to Jewish centers. Fark: suspect is a Jewish teenager in Israel
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bay News 9)
 
 
 
Florida woman secretly records and broadcasts a nursing home couple having sex, claiming it was for her own amusement
source: baynews9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Since there isn't a single black man living in his city, a Baltimore man went to NYC last week just to stab black men to death
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Daesh takes credit for the Westminster attack, the quality of the CHIPs remake, and the new Yoko Ono album
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
Willis Tower Skydeck expansion to allow visitors to rappel on the building's exterior from the Skydeck's top floor to the gift shop below where they can purchase new underwear
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Photoshop this examiner
source: fm.cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
Record-breaking 76,017 domino 'circle bomb' toppled from the center of a circle to its outer edge
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Have an earworm of a song going round and round in your head? Here's how to extract it from your noggin
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SacBee)
 
 
 
Today's White House fence jumper caught by her shoelaces. Secret Service needs every break it can get
source: sacbee.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KAIT Jonesboro)
 
 
 
Drug paraphernalia ✓ Meth ✓ Xanax ✓ Hydrocodone ✓ Being sold at a gas station ✓ Or as they call that in Arkansas just another day ending with the letter Y
source: kait8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Explosions at arms depot in eastern Ukraine force evacuation of 20,000 people. "Sabotage" suspected
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Springfield News-Leader)
 
 
 
Former university student arrested for breaking into a university laboratory and doing "medical research"
source: news-leader.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(10 News)
 
 
 
A couple put a bike in front of their house with a free sign on it. Then things get weird
source: 10news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Asahi Shimbun)
 
 
 
Buddhist temple in Fukui holds techno music services to lure young worshipers, with chief priest rapping sutras as colorful lights swirl around Buddha statue. 'We priests are Buddha's public relations representatives'
source: asahi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 620: "Spring is in the Air 2". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
source: farktography.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Wed March 22, 2017
(Thrillist)
 
 
 
America's Hobo royalty have mastered the ultimate cheap travel hack: Just don't pay. For anything. Ever. Learn their ways
source: thrillist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oregon Live)
 
 
 
Deadpool busted for DUI after driving onto Taco Bell lawn
source: oregonlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Don't feel bad about eating butter, it's not that bad for you. Delicious butter on everything is what life is all about
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Global News (Canada))
 
Weeners
 
Doctor argues he is too fat to rub his erection against patients
source: globalnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Meet the rocket scientist who became a pig farmer, with a possible signature meat called Blast-off Bacon in the works
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCAX Vermont)
 
 
 
State of Vermont announces data breach of personal information on some 200,000 people. Are there even 200,000 people in Vermont?
source: wcax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Patch)
 
 
 
Need a ride home after checking yourself out of the hospital? Why not just steal an ambulance?
source: patch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
If you're planning on texting the details of your upcoming drug swap, it's probably best not to mistakenly send it to a local prosecutor
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Shanghaiist)
 
 
 
One simply does not tiptoe pass the customs officials into mainland China from Hong Kong with 1,000 diamonds in his shoes when he has a case of the walking blues
source: shanghaiist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Atlanta Journal Constitution)
 
 
 
It's a tough economy when a burglar working the evening shift makes off with only $1 and a houseplant
source: ajc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New Delhi TV)
 
 
 
Apparently nuclear plants can get small pox
source: ndtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 17 Grand Rapids)
 
 
 
The first rule of doggy daycare fight club is don't talk about doggy daycare fight club
source: fox17online.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this vision of beauty
source: napervillecounseling.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Ancient earthquakes prove that Otisburg is a potential reality
source: ca.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC Action News)
 
 
 
Christian school principal suspends 12-year-old girl for selling kids' toys in class because the principal mistook them for sex toys. "In your wildest imaginations, no adult could possibly view this as a sex toy, this is a water-filled bag"
source: abcactionnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
How about a Liter selfie thread? C'mon, Mods, make it happen
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Comet TV)
 
 
 
"1984" is returning to movie theaters for one night only for those of you who think the current real-life version lacks any substance
source: comettv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Rising polonium prices and a stagnant economy force Russians to use gravity poisoning to save rubles
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Miami Herald)
 
 
 
The Sheriff is looking for a needle in a crate of needles
source: miamiherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSTU FOX 13)
 
 
 
It's now a crime to harass livestock with a drone in Utah, so change up those bachelor party plans
source: fox13now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Five-year-old accidentally packs her school lunchbox with a frozen vodak sorbet pouch after her mum told her to get a 'juice pouch' from the freezer. An 'accident' yeah, that's the ticket
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Do people keep telling you how much you look like Alexander the Great? No? Well, upload your head shot here and you may find your historic match, if it exists amongst the world's great statues
source: monsosie.mcq.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Now that we've reached the point where a degree in law has about as much value as one in art history, law schools are starting to rethink the LSAT
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this peaceful morning on the lake
source: d6d2h4gfvy8t8.cloudfront.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AL.com)
 
 
 
How Alabama locks people up for life over nonviolent marijuana possession
source: al.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
High school anatomy teacher arrested for fulfilling job requirements
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
The Florida House of Representatives considers banning red-light cameras statewide, in a rare display of sanity and reason that makes up for at least three Florida headlines
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Opium-dependent parrots begin razing entire poppy plantations, stealing money to fuel the addiction, beating their wives and talking all sorts of shiat
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WMUR New Hampshire)
 
 
 
Fark ready headline: Maine man trying to kill ants accidentally sets house on fire, officials say
source: wmur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 13 Orlando)
 
 
 
Air Force man AWOL for forty years finally found living under a false name. On the bright side, think of all the back pay he's owed
source: mynews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vice)
 
 
 
American farmers are hacking their tractors with Ukrainian firmware because John Deere and other manufacturers have made it impossible to perform "unauthorized" repair on farm equipment
source: motherboard.vice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chron)
 
 
 
Time to play Sherlock Holmes. 2 teens killed. They were unloading and loading a semi-automatic handgun. FTA: both teens were holding the gun, it accidentally discharged hitting one teen. It then accidentally discharged again and hit the other teen
source: chron.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
You're a serious parking violator when your tickets total 17 times the value of your car
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(41 Action News)
 
 
 
"There is activity at your front door. It appears to be the apocalypse"
source: kshb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
The Trump Tower...you'll never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Australia to remove 'gay panic' defense from criminal code. Now, a murderer can't claim they were simply scared because someone gay grabbed them down under
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chew Boom)
 
 
 
It's time to Mac America Saucy Again. McDonald's is selling Big Mac sauce as well as Filet-O-Fish, and McChicken sauces in grocery stores There's just one catch. Only in Canada
source: chewboom.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Inmate who beat up Jared Fogle now receiving tons of fan mail. "I am writing this letter to thank you for your service," said one little boy, who also sent $2
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
Trump tries to shame Seattle and King County by putting them on his 'naughty' list, apparently forgetting that a city of people who worship the Seahawks probably can't be shamed by anything
source: seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Dateline: March 22. You are feverishly trying to spit out a competent story for Heart of Farkness 2 when suddenly, your cat walks across your keyboard and submits the story. What do you do? You come here. THIS is your Fark Writers Thread
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Hooray for cheese: Scientists say eating it all day long won't kill you after all
source: studyfinds.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
NewsFlash
 
Police officer stabbed inside UK Parliament. Alleged assailant shot by armed police
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Talk Radio (UK))
 
 
 
After 32 years, Arkansas finally realizes it's a bit weird to celebrate Martin Luther King on the same day as a southern Civil War general
source: talkradio.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Vatican reports brazen daylight theft of Pope's hat by... daaaaaw
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 96.5 Florida)
 
 
 
Zoo handlers chainsaw off the horns on 21 rhinos to keep poachers from chainsawing off the horns from 21 rhinos
source: news965.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Pope Francis now going after blasphemous Fark headlines. No level of Hell declared yet for the Politics tab
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Flickr)
 
 
 
Photoshop the crater rim of the Kilauea caldera
source: c1.staticflickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Donald Trump invokes David Chappelle's "If George Bush Were Black" strategy
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
"Well, they are called MISSiles not HITTiles, amirite, Dear Leader?"
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KHOU Houston)
 
 
 
There is no better way to scream for attention than to ride your horse through the aisles of a Walmart and then post video of it to your Facebook page
source: khou.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New Zealand Herald)
 
 
 
Supermarket manager offers "plentiful pizza" in lieu of overtime pay. It goes over as well as you would expect
source: nzherald.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSDK St. Louis)
 
 
 
It's spring at Warm Springs Ranch, time for some new Clydesdale foals..Daaawwww
source: ksdk.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
What do you call a Russian lawyer injured in a freak bathtub hoisting accident?
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 

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